Captured Heart

I started writing this before the manga ended so I didn’t know that the Rinnegan could not be deactivated, but in this story, Sasuke keeps it deactivated. I also didn’t know about his arm at that point. That will be addressed more in chapter four. For those of you waiting for Iruka, he doesn’t appear until chapter five; I wanted to warn you. Sasuke was a bitch to write in this chapter. You have no idea how much I pared down his dialog. >_>

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“Kakashi!”

He had no idea how many times his name was called before he woke up, but there was Sasuke standing by the bed with a tray.

“You sleep like the dead.” His smirk became downright evil. “Want me to feed you like before?”

His smirk may be evil, but his eyes were warm and amused. Just like when they had sex. Fuck, it wasn’t a dream. He’d had sex with Sasuke. And enjoyed the fuck out of it.

Kakashi groaned. He raised a hand to his face to check if his mask was in place, but it was gone, cut into pieces in the dungeon. “You may have me in every way by the balls,” he struggled to lever himself up to a sitting position, “but don’t patronize your elders so much.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow as if to say, ‘Is that a ‘no?’ He pulled the blanket away and set the tray with its legs extended over the older man’s lap.

“I should feed you; make sure you don’t eat too fast.” He crawled in behind him, moving the pillows out of the way, and molded his body to Kakashi like before. He slid one hand over Kakashi’s bare abdomen just above the edge of the sheet that was the only thing covering Kakashi’s abused lower body.

Kakashi was very weak so he didn’t struggle; he let Sasuke feed him. Kakashi’s head hurt from sleeping too much and he was a little dizzy because of it. If Sasuke hadn’t slid in behind him, he’d have leaned back against the headboard. Sasuke lay his head on Kakashi’s shoulder and leaned it against Kakashi’s.

“I think you missed it,” Sasuke said after Kakashi swallowed a piece of fruit and he trailed his fingers across his lips, “I love you.”

“I heard you.”

“And?” Kakashi detected a faint trace of nervousness in Sasuke’s voice.

“Do you honestly expect me to return the sentiment after what you did?”

“If you mean it.” He offered a spoon of rice porridge.

Kakashi ate the spoonful slowly. “I can’t hate you.” No matter what Sasuke did—to him or anyone else—he was still the boy Kakashi took under his wing. He would always care for him.

“Hn.” Sasuke sounded pleased. “You didn’t struggle. Most of that was just business.”

He could understand that. They were both shinobi; all relationships are null and void when shinobi met on the battlefield—or caught engaging in espionage. “What about the rest of it?”

“Lust.” Sasuke’s voice was a deep whisper against Kakashi’s neck.

“I’m not a masochist.”

“Hn. I don’t really want to hurt you. As long as I can step out and beat the crap out of a real masochist once in a while, I’d be content. Let me love you. Let me make love to you.” He kissed his long neck. “Sensei.”

Kakashi didn’t respond, but he couldn’t suppress the shiver that word sent through him. Sasuke’s fingers moved to draw random designs on his abdomen which only made his flesh pucker more.

Sasuke let Kakashi eat on his own, wrapping his other arm around his waist too, hugging him like a teddy bear. Kakashi was hungry, but his stomach shrank over the weeks of starvation. He finished the small bowl of rice porridge and ate another piece of fruit and then stopped.

Sasuke created a clone to move the tray to the floor and then it disappeared. Free of the restraining tray, Sasuke brought his knees up to close in on Kakashi’s sides. Kakashi leaned back into Sasuke’s body. Sasuke’s body closed around him.

“I’m not sorry for what I did,” Sasuke said after a prolonged silence. “You trespassed. We are allies, but that doesn’t excuse espionage. You lasted longer than anyone else my village captured. I’m still in awe of you. Sensei.”

Kakashi felt lightheaded. The way he said that word went straight to his core. Sasuke’s voice was always deep, but it wavered from unemotional to warm to downright darkly seductive when he said ‘sensei.’

“What about Konoha?” Kakashi asked.

“They definitely know you’re missing. We chased away two scouts who must have been looking for you. No contact yet. You must have not been missing long enough for them to just come out and ask. They don’t have anyone of ours to offer as a trade, but they can barter you back. Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. You’re important enough to them to start a war over.”

Kakashi doubted that. Then again, he was former ANBU and he was as good as the next Hokage; he knew nearly as much about Konoha and her strengths and weaknesses as Tsunade. Rather than war, Konoha might send an assassin to off him before he said too much.

“If what you said is true about Tsunade, she might like the excuse,” Sasuke continued. “Even if I report you dead, it might start a war. You’ll likely be going home in a month’s time. I might not be able to keep you, but while you’re here, I want to love you.”

“If you really love me, why didn’t you just say something before now? Why wait to tell me until after you captured and tortured me?”

“Hn,” he hummed with amusement. “Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.”

Kakashi laughed. It was absurd, but he really couldn’t see Sasuke asking him for a relationship or sex. He would never ask, never beg. He wasn’t exactly begging for forgiveness now and probably never would. Sasuke took what he wanted. Kakashi tried to remember the last time he heard Sasuke ask for anything.

“I didn’t love you before,” Sasuke admitted. “I admired you, felt safe with you. My feelings were more familial. I saw you naked at more than one hot spring, but I was indifferent. But you being at my mercy aroused me. Defiance attracts me. Strength and defiance. When I unmasked you . . . I never imagined you could be so handsome. How could I not wish to possess you?”

Sasuke could have been speaking of a spirited stallion, but it was flattering.

“However, understand this: I love you, but I am first the sato-osa [AN: village head; only the leaders of the Five Great Shinobi Nations are called Kage] here; even the Daimyo is my puppet. I protect this land and its people and I will not hesitate if you bring harm to either.”

Kakashi gave a nod of understanding.

“I also will not just let you go. You are still a prisoner and these rooms are your cell. You can accept my affections, return them, or just suffer through them, but you are staying here.”

“I don’t have much choice.”

Kakashi felt Sasuke smirk against his hair.

Someone knocked on the outer door of Sasuke’s suite of rooms. Rather than shout through the open bedroom door, Sasuke sent out a non-hostile wave of chakra and the door opened. Sayeko peaked in and then came up to the open bedroom door. Sasuke drew a sleeved arm over Kakashi’s lower face before Sayeko could see it.

“I’m really sorry to disturb you, Sasuke-sama, but . . . it’s happening again.”

Kakashi could tell she wasn’t sure how freely to speak with him there. Otherwise, she completely ignored him, ignored the fact her master was in bed with another man.

Sasuke obviously understood her oblique reference and Kakashi could feel his irritation. “I’ll be along shortly,” Sasuke said in his usual emotionless voice.

Sayeko scurried off.

“I have to go.” Sasuke slipped out from behind Kakashi. “Finish eating, but be careful: you went a long time with very little solid food. I brought clothes for you.” Sasuke fetched a small pile from the top of his dresser and put it on the foot of the bed. “A physical therapist is coming later to help you recover. In the meantime, there are crutches to help you move around.” Sasuke gestured to the bed’s headboard the crutches were leaning against. “I’ll be back when I have time.”

Taking up his sword, Sasuke rushed from the room.

Kakashi took a few more bites then dressed slowly. He was very happy to find a mask among the clothes and felt great relief to cover his face again. The pants were drawstring; Kakashi was shocked how much he had to pull them. He’d lost quite a bit of muscle there and any small layer of fat he might have had. There was a sash to tie around his waist to make the loose shirt not as baggy. He finished the food Sasuke brought him and rested a bit more. It felt great to just lay back and relax in a comfy bed and not have to worry about anything.

Laying there he rubbed his fingers together, tempted to call his nin-ken. No, he was on tenuous ground here. And weak. His chakra was low from lack of food. Let them alone. Pakkun would only try to talk sense into him. He didn’t want sense. He was too weak to try to escape anyway. He didn’t want to think. Didn’t want to think about Sasuke’s feelings or his own. He would rest. He deserved it.

-----

The man who came to help him rebuild his strength treated him with more respect than was ever shown to him. He was treated with reverence. He was a hero of two Great Wars, Sasuke’s sensei, and now Sasuke’s guest so he guessed it wasn’t odd. That look he gave him at times might have been because it was clear being kept in Sasuke’s quarters that he was also Sasuke’s . . . lover?

One source of the man’s reverence was clear though: he expressed his admiration that anyone could endure so much torture for so long and that Kakashi hadn’t lost more muscle. Well, clinching his muscles in pain and trying to take his weight from his stressed limbs did keep them working.

A bag of intravenous fluids and a bottle of nutrients and he was forced to try to walk without the crutches. By the end, Kakashi wanted to bash the man’s head in, but he knew he had to work hard if he was going to redevelop the muscle that had atrophied.

It wasn’t just the lack of muscle; it was also the pain in the muscles he did still have. Some of the pain prevented him from moving in certain ways; walking hurt his lower back to the point he curled and nearly collapsed. The doctor still found exercises for him and worked him for hours.

Kakashi was sitting on the bed, panting from the exercise when Sasuke returned. His skin was flushed and his muscles were swollen with stress. He was hunched forward with his arms on his thighs, but even that was massive strain on his body, causing his arm muscles to quiver with the effort. Without a headband, his hair was wild and some sweaty strands hung over his forehead.

Sasuke raised a perfect eyebrow at his appearance. “You break him, you will pay for him,” Sasuke said to the doctor.

“Sasuke-sama, you’re the one who put him in this state.”

Kakashi was horrified anyone would talk back to Sasuke like that.

“Hai, hai. You’re done for today.”

The doctor packed up and left. Sasuke didn’t move any muscle but his eyes to watch the man until the door shut behind him. He crossed his arms and considered. Kakashi grew self-conscious being stared at by Sasuke’s dispassionate eyes. “I’d hoped you’d be resting by now.” Sasuke sighed. “Working you all day is a little much. Sayeko!”

The door opened again. “Sasuke-sama?”

“Delay dinner awhile; our guest must rest.”

“Hai.” She ducked back out the main room’s door.

Sasuke disarmed himself and stepped into the bathroom for a moment and returned with a glass bottle of amber liquid.

“Take off your shirt and pants and lay down on your stomach.”

Kakashi obeyed, leaving his boxers and tied mask in place.

“What aches the most?”

“My legs. My arms are exhausted too.”

Sasuke dripped some of the oil on his hands and then started rubbing his thumbs down his calf. He did a thorough job down each leg, digging his thumbs into knotted muscle and easing the aches away, using just a little chakra to soothe the overworked tissue.

Done with his legs, Sasuke moved up to Kakashi’s thighs, reaching around his with strong fingers to work on the front of his thighs without making Kakashi turn over. Kakashi could feel the calluses from kunai, shuriken, and his sword on his fingers and palms. They weren’t unpleasant.

Then he straddled Kakashi’s body and started on his upper back and shoulders then down his arms. The whole time he alternated between a rub down and a deep tissue massage. It was both painful and blissful and, by the end, Kakashi was not so sore.

When Sasuke finished, he surprised Kakashi by laying down on top of him and laying his cheek on Kakashi’s shoulder blade. Kakashi was afraid to breathe, that it might move Sasuke too much; he measured his breaths to minimize disturbing him.

The pressure on his lungs and the fact he had a person lying on top of him was uncomfortable, but he kind of liked it. He liked the closeness. He’d had his share of female lovers, but it never meant anything, they never stayed in bed together or lay together like this. This felt intimate.

Sasuke soon sat up with a sharp inhale of breath, as if he’d been asleep.

“Dinner should arrive soon.”

Sasuke got up and held out a hand to Kakashi to help him stand.

“Your hand is cold.”

“Someone kept me in a cold dungeon. My metabolism is low.”

“Hn.”

Sasuke helped him to the bathroom so they could wash up a bit before dinner—including the smudge of oil on Sasuke’s cheek.

Kakashi pulled his mask down and splashed water on his face without looking at the mirror. He dried his hands and face then he looked at his reflection.

It was the first time Kakashi saw himself in a mirror since he was captured. His body was boney and discolored. He could see every rib and his stomach was hallow. There were blotches of black, blue, purple, and brown all over his body. His face and most of his arms were the only unmarred parts of his body. But his face was skeletal and his beard had grown in. He didn’t recognize himself.

He stopped his examination of his body when he noticed Sasuke’s reflection. Sasuke was staring at him, looking at his reaction. His face didn’t betray any emotion, but just the way he was trying to gage him said something.

Kakashi pulled his mask up and went back into the bedroom. He redressed and resumed his now normal place in Sasuke’s bed. Sasuke sat cross-legged at the foot, facing him. Kakashi shifted; his body still tender from Sasuke’s . . . ministrations in the dungeon.

“You’ll recover. I didn’t do anything to you I haven’t done before; I made sure you wouldn’t have any lasting injuries. I had my personal medic look you over. Malnourished and bruised, but you’ll recover completely. I may not have seemed careful, but I know where the line is.”

“How do you know?”

Sasuke’s sigh was almost inaudible. Whether it was the topic or talking in general that irritated him, Kakashi wasn’t sure. “Orochimaru wasn’t actually a sadist; he didn’t really care about the pain he inflicted on others, but not quite a sociopath; he was too consumed with his own goals to care about others. Kabuto was cruel, but he was also too focused on results to care about others. I was the sadist. I took over interrogating prisoners; some were truly evil men. No one cared what I did and that’s where I discovered my . . . fetish. I was never sexual with Orochimaru or Kabuto, just the prisoners. I learned the line. I learned to control it and use it for torture or for pleasure. I staggered the line with you. Believe me, if I had really wanted to hurt you, really hurt you, you’d never get an erection again. And the penetration could have been as excruciating as anything else I did.”

“Well, thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome. I didn’t want to use my Sharingan on you, so I’m glad you finally broke. There’s no fun in using a genjutsu.”

“That is what I feared. I’ve been trapped in a Sharingan genjutsu before and I truly feared what you might subject me to. I’m not sure, in retrospect, which would be worse, what you did or your choice in genjutsu.”

Sasuke smirked. “I’m a sadist so the genjutsu would not just force the words from you, it would have been more torture; the cruelest physiological torture.”

“I’m glad I broke.”

“It was the contrast: going from extreme pain to pleasure. If you were a masochist, the subspace would have broken you, but because you don’t feel pleasure in pain and submission, it took real pleasure to break you. The pleasure was accentuated by the pain you endured. Your orgasm drained you of the last of your energy.”

Sasuke looked warmly at Kakashi’s masked face. Kakashi was uncomfortable with Sasuke’s attention. He wondered what Sasuke was thinking, remembering, to inspire that fond look. His train of thought must have led him to their time together as a team in Konoha because Sasuke’s smirk lost its mirth.

“Konoha sent another team to search for you. I expect Tsunade to come out and just ask soon.”

“I don’t want any type of conflict with your village,” Kakashi said. “I objected to the mission, but I couldn’t disobey orders.”

“I don’t blame you; I punished you already.” Sasuke twisted around and let his legs dangle over the side of the bed and he lay back with a sigh. “I don’t want to go to war.”

Kakashi marveled at this less hostile Sasuke. The young man who wanted to kill everyone now feared conflict. He was afraid of shadows that might not coalesce into anything.

Sayeko knocked before coming in with another shinobi carrying trays of food. Sasuke helped Kakashi stand and walk out into the living room and to the low dining table. He helped Kakashi settle on a cushion and Sasuke sat opposite him. Sayeko and her assistant laid out the dishes then departed.

“I hear Naruto’s finally started a relationship with Hinata,” Sasuke said after a few silent minutes.

Kakashi was a little surprised by Sasuke’s choice of topics, but not surprised to hear that Naruto had come to his senses. “I’m glad he’s finally returning her feelings.”

“I’m just glad he’s not dating Sakura.”

“Why? You never had feelings for her.”

“No, but she doesn’t deserve his love; his love for her was never real; it was a crush. Same for her feelings for me; she never understood me, never. If she knew my heart, she would have gone about things differently and probably would have given up on me long ago. She just thought I was cute and cool, she didn’t understand that ‘cool’ attitude was born of deep pain. But Hinata’s feelings were always so strong and real. Even I noticed that. She used to stalk him, standing behind street corners, silently cheering him on. Her love was real and something I was actually jealous of. They’re good for each other. Like putting he and I on a team: he needs to be balanced out.”

Kakashi chuckled. “You’re right. I hope you’ll come back for their wedding. It would mean a lot to Naruto.”

“In the end, we are friends. I’ll attend. If we’re not at war.”

“You really fear it will come to that?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t understand why she sent you. Is there some kind of message meant in sending you?” Sasuke’s eyes narrowed, analyzing the situation and hoping for new information.

“I can’t image there is; you were never meant to know I was the one sent. I do know you well—I trained you; she probably wanted my perspective.”

“I thought I sensed you out there. It wasn’t until you were trying to leave that we knew there was a spy in our midst. As expected of my sensei; you were right under my nose.”

Sasuke’s smirk was very near a real smile. But it faded quickly. He stopped eating and actually looked a little nauseous.

“Sasuke?”

“It’s just stress. There’s a lot going on politically right now. Your being here is just one of many incidents.”

“You’ve had other breaches?”

“Attempted. You were the only one to get through. We think. We gained too much power too quickly.” He sighed. “You may not have meant to tell me our weaknesses, but I’m very grateful. We’ve buttoned up our defenses. Konoha wasn’t the only ones we detected today. I should have built this village in one of Orochimaru’s underground warrens. I feel safer underground.”

For the first time, Kakashi noticed the lack of windows. “We’re underground?”

“Second sub-floor. Most people think I live on an upper floor, but I can’t stand being so exposed. It’s bad enough my office is up there. I don’t keep my back to the windows though.”

“I thought you lived on the fourth floor.”

“You were supposed to think that. I have a shinobi who styles his hair like mine living up there; a decoy.”

Kakashi’s heart froze. “How many attempts on your life?”

“Three were here to kill me; we stopped them before they could get close to me.”

Kakashi didn’t like hearing that assassins were sent to kill his former student. “Did you torture them the way you did me?”

That evil smirk was back. “Jealous? No. They all broke much sooner. Two, three days. We sent them all home in the end. The assassins were sent back minus bodies, just the heads. I felt I had to make a point.”

Kakashi chuckled despite the grisly means of sending the prisoners back.

Sasuke resumed eating.

“Which villages are threatening you? Other than Konoha.”

“All of them. All Five Great Shinobi Nations. Suna sent one of the assassins. I didn’t realize I pissed Gaara off that badly. Probably that sister of his; she’s a bloodthirsty one. Kumo’s two assassins I understand.”

When they were finished, Sasuke summoned Sayeko with another burst of chakra. She came in and cleared the dishes.

Alone again, Sasuke helped Kakashi back to their former positions on the bed.

“She’s your student?” Kakashi asked once they were settled.

Sasuke nodded. “I train her when I have time. She’s a genjutsu user and has lightning nature. I take her with me when I go out on missions; I can’t stand being stuck in an office. She’s a good kunoichi.”

“How good?” Kakashi asked slowly.

Sasuke frowned, a subtle but noticeable change to his normal expression. “She is cute and female, but I have no intention of fathering children on her. I honestly don’t care about gender, but men just seem less vulnerable, so I prefer them. She’s too good a kunoichi to force to stay home and bare children. I’ll find someone else to fulfill that duty. She’s also too young for me; she’s only fourteen despite her looks.”

Kakashi marveled at how candid Sasuke was being. He was completely at ease talking about the security of his country and village and even his private life. “Why are you confiding so much to me?”

“Objecting? Weren’t you here to gather information?”

“Exactly.”

“Hn.”

“No one to talk to?”

“Sayeko is too young. She’s trustworthy and loyal, but I don’t want her to know how tenuous our situation is. Juugo and I understand each other without words. Anyone else who would advise me I don’t entirely trust. I trust you.”

“I tried to kill you, I’m a shinobi of another village, and I haven’t trusted you in years.”

“I never felt any malice from you except when you fought Zabuza; never directed at me.”

“Even when I tried to kill you, I didn’t want to kill you,” Kakashi agreed.

“I did actually fear you when you appeared as we fed Naruto while he was tied to that log.”

Kakashi smiled warmly at the memory; he didn’t reveal the thought that he believed passing them was a mistake. Yet, even knowing all that would happen, he didn’t know what he would have changed. Maybe not leaving Sasuke in that tree after he stopped Sasuke and Naruto from killing each other—and probably Sakura—on that hospital rooftop.

“I’ve always trusted you. I had moments of doubt, but I trusted you. When you looked back at us and said you never let your teammates die, I felt reassured. Even if you were lying, I trusted in you.”

“I was lying. But I always went into every situation with that goal in mind.”

“I really am happy you’re here,” Sasuke said. “When I was told it was you, my heart sped up. I was elated. Then I grew depressed. They sent you to probe my defenses. It hurt. Not just that Konoha is testing me, but that they were using you. Tsunade had to know that would be like a kunai in my ribs.”

“I believe she sent the best shinobi for the job, not someone to hurt you.”

Sasuke smiled. It was mirthless. He crawled over and pulled Kakashi’s head forward so he could lean his forehead against Kakashi’s. “She had to know you were a wound that was easily reopened.” He kissed Kakashi’s cheek, right under his eye, and pulled back. “Rest. I have more work to do. I’ll have a shinobi at the door if you need anything. Drink,” he nodded to the ewer on the bedside table. “You’re still very dehydrated.”

Sasuke grabbed his gear and left the suite.

That was why Kakashi didn’t want to become Hokage and had forced the delay in taking over for Tsunade. Kakashi could see the stress. A shinobi’s life was filled with stress with every mission: survival, upholding their loyalty, protecting their comrades, protecting civilians, getting the job done. But a Kage saw the stresses of every mission and the overall picture. Balancing alliances and loyalties and treaties and looking after their interests were stresses Kakashi never wanted. His heart bled for Sasuke.

Kakashi forced himself to take Sasuke’s advice and poured himself a cup of water and drank it. Even thought he was dehydrated, he didn’t really want to drink. He could feel the food and water reinvigorating his blood, but he knew he could sleep. He had to stand and get to the wall to turn off the light. By the time he hobbled back to bed, his leg muscles were screaming and he was exhausted. He crawled in and dug in under the blanket and promptly fell asleep.

-----

He was alone when he woke up. He was thirsty and drank greedily from the ewer. His body was stiff and in pain. He wondered how long he’d been asleep. With no windows and no clock, Kakashi had no clue what time of day it was. Since Sasuke wasn’t in bed, he figured it was daytime, but that wasn’t a certainty.

He stretched and then just laid there for a while. He was officially bored. He wasn’t used to being without work and when he was, he had his books. He couldn’t even hop out of bed and do a hundred pushups in his condition.

Sasuke came in some time later, looking like he’d just woken. “Hungry?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Been up long?”

“Unknown.”

Sasuke’s face eased from his normal morning scowl that Kakashi remembered from all those years ago.

Sasuke went to the door and ordered breakfast be brought.

Kakashi was a little slow to put things together, but his mind was muddled. Sasuke had just woken up; he’d slept in another room. Smart, he supposed. There was an admitted spy sleeping in his bed, an enemy shinobi he couldn’t fully trust while he was asleep. But it hurt.

It wasn’t Sayeko who brought their meal today, but an unremarkable male shinobi who was as emotionless and as good at ignoring Kakashi as the best servant. Kakashi hobbled to the table on his own.

Sasuke was silent, as was his wont when he woke up. The only thing Kakashi knew Sasuke to hate more than waking up in the morning when they were a team was Itachi. Now he suspected waking up was probably on the top of that list.

“Anymore?” Kakashi asked.

“Hn?” Sasuke was startled by the sudden voice and he really didn’t understand.

“Anymore spies?”

“None. Not in the last eighteen hours. The last ones were those scouts from Konoha. We just chased them back over the border. We have more patrols.”

“When can I go outside?”

“Stir-crazy?”

“Bored and I’m sleeping too much.”

“You’re sleeping to heal; I put you through hell.”

“Can I just get to an open window?”

Sasuke considered. “The doctor will take you upstairs and to the terrace in the back. He’ll work you there until you’re too tired. You need air. The only air you got was when we brought you from the dungeon. I’m not afraid of you trying to leave; you can go outside for a while.”

“Thank you.”

Sasuke got up and geared back up. As he left, he said, “Don’t go running off.”

-----

By the time they reached ground level and the back terrace, Kakashi was exhausted. The doctor let him rest in the open air. To smell the trees again and fresh air was so wonderful. He didn’t even realize he missed the outdoors until now. He just wanted air, but now he wanted to revel in it, just lie on the grass and suck in lungs full.

Then the sun lifted over the trees and a gap in the clouds. It was so warm on his skin, seasoning the air. The thin clouds swallowed the sun again, but it was still a beautiful day. It could have been a muggy miserable day and Kakashi would have called it pleasant.

However, just standing and catching a weighted ball was stressing. It almost made him cry from the fatigue and the fact he could barely do what five year olds do for fun. He would get stronger and he would recover. After they were finished, it took him and the doctor half an hour to get back down to Sasuke’s room; he had to stop every so often because of his screaming muscles. It was so stressful that he didn’t catch one detail of the corridors that he normally would as a spy.

He lay down in the unmade bed and let his body sink into the bedding and his joints and muscles ease and pop into their proper places. The doctor made him sit right back up to drink a large glass of nutrients. Then he left him to rest.

His body temperature had dropped so low while in the dungeon, but the rehabilitation had swung his metabolism back the other way and his body was radiating heat. He just lay there letting the heat pulse out of his body as well as sweat trying to cool his fevered flesh. He felt so sickly and weak. All he could do was lay there.

Sasuke came in hours later and crawled over his body, waking him from a doze. His sweat had dried and his heart calmed down in the interim, but Sasuke could see evidence of his work out on his skin. Sasuke could also smell him, but he was far from repulsed. He purposely sniffed him.

“Are you hungry?”

“I don’t want to eat.”

“I’ll force you to later. Right now, I’m asking . . .” His eyes were hot.

Kakashi understood. “As long as you don’t expect me to move.”

“I do enjoy sex with a man who’s bound. Exhausted to the point of paralysis is just as good.”

“I don’t know if you have a dark streak a mile wide or just a light streak in the dark.”

“I think I’m half and half.”

Sasuke kissed him, just touched their lips together. His tongue peaked out to taste Kakashi’s dry lips. Kakashi’s hand slid up Sasuke’s upper arm into his soft hair and pulled his head further down to deepen the kiss. Sasuke didn’t just kiss back, he lowered his hips to rub his body against Kakashi’s in a sinuous motion.

Trying not to break the kiss, Sasuke reached between them and tore at the drawstring of Kakashi’s loose pants and drove his hand underneath. He fished about, frustrated by his boxers, until he found Kakashi’s hard cock. He growled with victory and lightly bit Kakashi’s lower lip.

Sasuke disengaged from Kakashi’s lips to look into his pleasure clouded eyes as he stroked his cock.

“You’re not as cold to the touch as you were,” Sasuke whispered. “Too bad you don’t like to eat anything sweet. I’ll have to find another way to fatten you up.”

Before Kakashi could conceive of a retort, Sasuke’s thumb slid over the head of his cock and made Kakashi gasp. He then ran his palm over the underside of his cock as his fingers moved to tease his entrance.

“It’s the intestines and colon that absorb nutrients,” Sasuke continued. “I’m sure you’ll benefit from some zinc, protein, and fluids.”

Sasuke sat up to strip them both. Kakashi helped by lifting his hips and back.

Sasuke really was beautiful. Kakashi’s eyes grazed on that pale body. Someone needs to sculpt a statue of that physique, Kakashi thought.

Seeing his former sensei’s fascination with his body, Sasuke picked up Kakashi’s hand and guided it to his chest. Kakashi trailed his fingers in the definition lines, tracing the details of his musculature. Most of his body was hard with well-trained muscle.

Sasuke leaned in closer and Kakashi let his hand venture up to his throat and then his cheek. His cheek was soft, as was his hair. Sasuke shut his eyes and leaned into the touch like a cat. When his eyes opened, they were soft and warm and loving. Sasuke then guided his hand to his mouth and he took two of Kakashi’s fingers into his mouth. His warm wet mouth reminded Kakashi of fingering a woman. Then that tongue came into play and Kakashi couldn’t help but imagine that feeling on his cock. And the look on Sasuke’s face, as if he was receiving pleasure by doing it, his lips closed around his fingers like a cock, and his eyes, shut in pleasure at first, opened to look down at him seductively. If his cock were in Sasuke mouth, all other things being equal, he would have cum hard from just those few seconds in his mouth.

Sasuke pulled Kakashi’s wrist down to his side and Sasuke moved over Kakashi and offered his own fingers to Kakashi to suck on. Kakashi obeyed and his other hand continued its exploration of Sasuke’s body. Unlike Sasuke, Kakashi was too embarrassed to open his eyes while he sucked on his fingers.

Sasuke used his fingers to open Kakashi’s mouth so that his lips wouldn’t scrape his saliva from them as he pulled them out. Sasuke’s hand went back in between Kakashi’s legs and pressed against his tight hole.

Sasuke pulled back to add a bit more lubrication from a tube he’d brought to the bed with him. He slid a finger inside him and rubbed at the ring of muscle that still wasn’t used to penetration. Smooth skin and rough calluses gave a variety of sensations that let Kakashi relax and actually desire to be spread further open and entered. A second finger joined the first and he started shallowly pushing them in and out and rotating his wrist. It felt good, it didn’t sting; it just reminded him of the pleasure of their second time together.

Sasuke lowered his lips to Kakashi’s neck. “Do you want it?” Sasuke whispered.

“Yes,” Kakashi breathed.

Sasuke licked his neck over the tendon, his breath causing Kakashi’s skin to pucker. His whole body felt extra sensitive.

Sasuke removed his fingers and eased Kakashi’s legs open. Another application of lubricant and the smooth head of Sasuke’s cock touched Kakashi’s heated hole. Sasuke slowly pressed his erection against him, breeching him gradually. Kakashi’s body accepted the head of his cock and then closed tightly around the shaft.

Sasuke gasped. “Fuck, you’re still so tight.” That actually made Kakashi reflexively tighten causing Sasuke to moan.

Kakashi relaxed a little and Sasuke pressed in more. The smooth skin of Sasuke’s shaft felt good sliding through his anal ring. The head of his cock continued to burrow deeper into his body and Kakashi relished the added heat pulsing deep inside his body.

When Sasuke was fully sheathed inside Kakashi’s body, he didn’t hesitate long before pulling almost all the way out and thrusting back in a bit faster. He built up speed with every thrust until he was fucking him with a quick, powerful rhythm.

It felt so good that it hurt. His prostate was being hammered, sending flashes of pleasure up his spine as well as over-sensitized pain. But fuck it felt good. A change in angle as Sasuke shifted to better fuck him took away the pain. Kakashi just wanted to drown in the pleasure and endorphins.

Sasuke pressed Kakashi’s legs up and out, giving him more leverage. He drove into him savagely as his orgasm approached. He thrust in hard and came, filling his lover with semen. He rested his forehead on Kakashi’s when he was spent. Kakashi put his hands on Sasuke’s lower back and slid his hands up to his upper back. Sasuke huffed and smiled.

His deflating cock slipped out as Sasuke pulled back. He moved back to grab Kakashi’s cock and moved down to give it a long lick up the side. Kakashi nearly came from that alone. Sasuke’s evil nature came to the forefront as he pulled his lips back to expose his teeth and moved his mouth toward the head of Kakashi’s cock. Kakashi’s heart sped up in fear.

Sasuke, amused my Kakashi’s fear, touched his upper teeth to it and let the sharp edges glide down over the tip, but not with enough pressure for it to hurt. Instead, the gentle scraping made Kakashi’s testicles tighten. Then his teeth caught the weeping slit and that made his eyes roll back.

“See? I know control.” Sasuke’s breath teased the heated flesh.

“Fuck.”

Sasuke smiled and put his fist around him and rubbed his thumb over the head, smearing his precum around it. Kakashi was so close already that that was enough to make him cum hard.

Sasuke let go of Kakashi’s cock and, ignoring the cum on his hand. He used a thumb to scrape off the stringy rope of cum near the corner of his mouth. He licked it off his thumb.

Kakashi moaned. “Sasuke,” he sighed.

Sasuke leaned down to kiss the v-line where his hip met his stomach and down to the side of his groin in a purely affectionate gesture. His lick of that same area was more erotic. His soiled hand smeared Kakashi’s essence over his own hip.

“You are an evil little bastard.”

“For which act?”

“For all of them together.”

Sasuke smiled genuinely and crawled up to give him a brief kiss. “Hungry now?”

“No. Not at all.”

Sasuke pouted. “You must eat. I’ll not have you waste away. Any further.”

“You’ll just have to feed me again.”

“If I must,” Sasuke said with a smirk. His eyes darted over Kakashi’s face and then he kissed him again. “Then again, skipping one meal won’t kill either of us.”

Sasuke snuggled in half on top of Kakashi and they drifted off together.

-----

Kakashi woke up with hunger pangs. The lights were still on and he saw a pale back and ebony hair right in front of him as he lay on his side. Sasuke had stayed and fell asleep with him. Kakashi smiled. He ignored his hunger and snuggled up behind Sasuke. Sasuke didn’t react, fast asleep. Kakashi pulled the blanket up further over them both and let himself fall back to sleep.

-----

Kakashi was ravenous when Sasuke accidently woke him as he was slipping out of bed.

“Please tell me you’re ordering breakfast,” Kakashi mumbled against the pillow.

“I’ll order more than rice and fruit,” Sasuke promised. He pulled on a robe and went to the outer door.

Kakashi lay there a bit longer, so tired, but far too hungry to go back to sleep. He heard the deep rumble of Sasuke’s voice in the other room and luxuriated in the still warm sheets. He opened his eyes when he felt the bed dip. Sasuke sat looking down at him.

“You normally don’t have a beard, do you?”

“No. It would make the mask uncomfortable.”

“It’s not unattractive, but I think you should shave it off.”

“I don’t trust my hand not to shake.”

Sasuke smirked. “I can help you with that. We have time before our meal is brought.”

Kakashi felt a rush.

Sasuke helped Kakashi up and guided him into the bathroom and sit on the wide edge of the ofuro. As Sasuke prepared the soap and razor, Kakashi noted Sasuke’s own stubble. He still thought of Sasuke as something of a child, reminded of the fact he was once under Kakashi’s care. Seeing Sasuke’s beard struggling to come in struck Kakashi how old Sasuke was now. Nearly nineteen. The beard was struggling to grow low on his jaw. The only Uchiha Kakashi had ever seen with any facial hair only had a goatee. Even if Sasuke let it grow, it’d be sparse and low on his cheeks. He could probably grow a reasonable mustache though.

Kakashi’s beard came up mid-cheek. It wasn’t thick but more respectable than anything Sasuke could grow. But being white, it was nearly invisible against his pale skin.

Sasuke spread the foaming soap over Kakashi’s lower face and throat, rinsed his hands, and took up the straight razor. Kakashi was nervous, but trusted Sasuke to have a steady hand.

Sasuke scraped the soap and hair carefully from Kakashi’s throat. His eyes were focused and he seemed completely consumed with the task. Kakashi relaxed and stared absently over Sasuke’s head.

Being shaved was embarrassing at first, but doing it was a subservient act. Despite that, Kakashi didn’t feel like the powerful or dominant one. Sasuke did have a blade to his throat. Kakashi felt a little humbled by Sasuke’s attention.

When Sasuke finished with his throat, he tilted Kakashi’s head down so it was difficult to keep his eyes from focusing on Sasuke’s intent face. He was so beautiful. Especially when he was focused. His eyes were nearly black, but close up, there were dark shades of gray that blended to give the impression his eyes were infinitely deep, black pools. They were almost more hypnotic than a Sharingan.

Sasuke finished and toweled the remaining soap from Kakashi’s face.

“Better,” Sasuke said.

He finally did recognize himself again when he went to rinse off his face. The mirror proved Sasuke didn’t nick him once.

“Better,” Kakashi agreed.

“Hn. I like the beard too. But I prefer this.”

-----

Kakashi was sleeping less and had the strength and calories to work more on recovering. He also had more time to think.

He wondered what was happing in Konoha, if anyone was concerned about him yet, but probably no one but Tsunade knew he was overdue. Mr. Ukki, the plant Naruto had given him, was in the care of his neighbor while he was on a long mission. In retrospect, his habit of having someone plant-sit for him during long missions did give away a little too much information about his missions.

His nin-ken were probably missing him, but everyone else would just assume he was on a mission and not worry.

Naruto and Hinata dating. Poor girl might suffer heart failure from blushing so much. Kakashi had thought it was a bad match considering Naruto’s hyper personality and Hinata’s quiet demeanor, but Naruto calmed down after the war. He was more worldly, but retained that youthful optimism. Facing death, having a friend die for his sake, being exposed to the lies and plots of the shinobi world, receiving the respect of the village he so desired, temporarily losing an arm, and attaining his goal of reuniting with Sasuke had matured him.

Naruto was no longer the loud, hyper knucklehead who used to yell and charge in. He still took on missions, but he was also going on diplomatic missions to other Great Shinobi Nations since he inspired everyone to believe in him and proved their trust was well placed. He and Sasuke had their missing arms replaced so neither of them were impaired. Naruto was even training Konohamaru senjutsu. Kakashi had no doubt Naruto would become Hokage by decade’s end.

Hinata had also matured. The war had given her confidence. She was also stronger for having stood up for Naruto in his battle with Pain. She was still shy though when Kakashi last saw her.

Sakura too. She had given up on Sasuke and rather than finding another man to fixate on, she’d thrown herself into work and training, wanting to surpass Tsunade. She’d grown out of girlish crushes and realized her life shouldn’t revolve around a boy. He rarely saw her anymore and when he did she never mentioned Sasuke.

It made him sad for some reason. He couldn’t put his finger on it. Then he realized what it was: his students had grown up. This must be what parents feel like when their kids become chunin.

And then there was Sasuke. He’d grown past revenge and hatred and settled down into a position of responsibility.

His kids were all grown up.

Damn, he felt old.

He frowned. Sasuke had indeed matured. Grown into a sadist. Yet, Kakashi had to smile; Sasuke had become a man who commanded fear and respect. He was truly proud of Sasuke; he was proud of all three of his students. Kakashi often lost himself in thinking about all the ways he failed with Obito and Rin, but perhaps his students were one instance where he didn’t fail.

And yet. Sasuke had a cruel side to him and was dour and domineering in the extreme. Then there was the whole running away from the village, joining up with two different enemies of Konoha, nearly killing all the members of his old team, and threatening to destroy his home town. But he hadn’t actually killed anyone or attacked Konoha. In fact, he’d come to their rescue, joining the fight against his own family. He’d never actually betrayed Konoha. And when he created his own village, he chose to become allies with Konoha rather than rivals.

No, Kakashi could take pride in Sasuke. Even if he was still a dour, sadistic, literal pain in the ass.

Laying in Sasuke’s bed, alone, after a long work out with his physical therapist, Kakashi let a goofy, affectionate smile crawl across his lips.

Yeah, Sasuke was a sadist, but he could be kind and affectionate. Like a guard dog that barked at every person except his master who he snuggled up with at night. A vicious wolf that protected his pack.

His eyes slid closed.

And Sasuke only tortured and raped him to protect his own village. Sort of. They all knew why Kakashi was there. It was a power game to Sasuke. So maybe it wasn’t to protect anyone. Sasuke just had the capacity to be cruel, controlling, and manipulative. He was a sadist. It was in Sasuke’s nature. It was probably in the nature of all Uchiha from what Kakashi could see. Even Obito and Itachi were manipulative and made people suffer despite their real, kind personalities. Sasuke really couldn’t be blamed for his actions.

That’s right, he’s Obito’s cousin. He didn’t rush around helping old women, but Sasuke was still kind when they were in Konoha. He would stop and help people as they walked through the village to and from small missions back then. He’d offered his lunch to Naruto during the bell test. He was selfish and arrogant, but he’d been prepared to sacrifice his life to save Naruto’s in their fight with Haku.

Kakashi’s breathing grew deeper as he thought about Itachi. He looked so sad in Kakashi’s memory. Sasuke had that look sometimes now.

Uchiha were sadists by nature, but they were also innately kind.

His own rumbling inhale made him open his eyes for a moment. But just for a moment.

And manipulative. They were innately manipulative. Itachi was a master of it. He and Obito were skilled liars. They were manipulative on a whole other level than normal people, deceiving and influencing the people they cared about and even the closest and most evil people around them.

The whole clan was like that. Orochimaru believed he had his coils secure around Sasuke. So did Obito. Sasuke didn’t lie, but he made everyone see what he wanted them to see. The Uchiha didn’t even need a Sharingan, but it helped. Not for a ‘long con’ though. That took pure, ingrained talent. A talent for manipulation.

His mind wandered further until Sasuke was a snake trying to hypnotize him and Itachi was a snake charmer and Obito was trying to capture Sasuke. It got completely nonsensical from there.

Kakashi slipped off as Tsunade lost a bet that resulted in Konoha being owned by Jiraiya who demanded all the shinobi act out his novels.

In green spandex.

-----

It took over a week, but Kakashi finally had enough strength back to join Sasuke in a walk outside.

Kakashi had seen the village of Kazaguruma [AN: pinwheel] when he was spying, but it was strange to walk openly like this, especially with Sasuke at his side. It was a lovely day with a breeze twirling the dozens of pinwheels that adorned the shops along the main road.

Sasuke had essentially gone home after the war. Not to Konoha, but to Oto. He stepped into the leadership position left open by ‘killing’ Orochimaru and took over Oto and its home country. Orochimaru had decided not to try to take over Sasuke again, recognizing the impossible when he saw it, but supported him from the shadows, living somewhere in the country on a short leash. Finding him was a task Kakashi had failed in and was quite content to have failed—the man had always creeped him out and intimidated him.

Sasuke also absorbed the Land of Hot Water and the Land of Tea to create the Land of Windmills. He now had a long country that hugged the northern border of the Land of Fire. That could have made Tsunade feel protected or threatened. She apparently chose threatened.

Kumo had reason to fear Sasuke since only the small Land of Frost stood between them. Kiri, Iwa, and Suna really had nothing to fear from him. He was at peace with the Land of Iron after apologizing to the prideful samurai—even getting on his knees—for attacking the Kage Conference, but the Land of Waterfalls feared they might be his next conquest.

From listening to people talk while he covertly skulked about, Kakashi knew the people loved Sasuke despite outsiders having seen Sasuke’s accumulation of land as conquest. Regime change didn’t bother the common people; they now felt very well protected with a large powerful shinobi village headed by one of the two most powerful shinobi in the world.

Now Kakashi could see their admiration. People bowed and addressed Sasuke with respect. When he was spying, Kakashi had avoided getting anywhere near Sasuke, so he never saw firsthand how much the people loved him.

But what shocked Kakashi was the look on Sasuke’s face: he was content. Sasuke wasn’t scowling and even smiled softly at people who addressed him.

Kakashi’s digestive system had rebounded after all Sasuke’s care, so they went to a restaurant. Once their food was brought, Kakashi said, “You seem to really be at home here.”

“This is my home.”

“When Konoha was your home, you never looked so at ease.”

“Konoha stopped being my home when my family died. It may not be wise, but I trust the people who congregated around me here.”

“I’m happy for you, Sasuke. Even when I intended to kill you, I never actually wished you ill; I just wanted to save you.”

“I know. I don’t hold anything against you.”

Kakashi drew a breath to speak, but Sasuke hushed him.

“I never thought I’d accuse you of talking too much. You were never exactly chatty. Other than reading porn, I never did find out what your many hobbies were.”

“You didn’t have any.”

Sasuke considered him. “Assigning myself missions, walking, meditation, BDSM. Keeping my head clear.”

“Reading and training with my nin-ken.”

“Hn.”

When their meals arrived, they ate in silence for several minutes. Kakashi stared at the pinwheels spinning in the breeze across the street. Many were painted to look like Sharingans, some were painted like Sasuke and Itachi’s Mangekyo Sharingans and Sasuke’s Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan. The pinwheels were nearly as hypnotic as the real thing.

“You said Naruto needed to be balanced out,” Kakashi said out of nowhere. “What about us?”

“I think we weigh the same; we’re balanced.”

“The same?”

“We’re both alone.”

So were a lot of people, but when Sasuke said, it carried more weight and Kakashi felt it in his bones that Sasuke was right. They were both alone in the most profound way: no family whatsoever and no close friends. Had anyone but Sasuke said that, it would not have been anywhere near as profound.

“How many lovers do you have?”

Sasuke’s eyes moved to look around, but he didn’t move his head. He deemed their table private enough to answer. “One woman, three men. I wouldn’t call them lovers; a lot of what we do doesn’t include sex. Juugo is different; he all but worships me. It’s a different relationship though I don’t love him. I appreciate him, but I don’t love him—or the other four. Just you.” Sasuke’s cold, narrow eyes softened and warmed becoming very nearly seductive.

Kakashi laughed. It was all so ridiculous. Sasuke was the most asexual young man Kakashi had ever known back in Konoha—he completely believed Sasuke when he said it took a bit of work to arouse him. He could have bedded half his age group had he had the inclination. And now he had a stable of lovers and was in love with him of all people. Of all people in the world, Sasuke had feelings—feelings—for him.

“Sasuke . . . I just can’t reconcile it all. Why me?”

Sasuke seriously considered the question as he continued to eat. “As I said, I feel safe with you. You’re handsome, skilled, almost a father figure to me, but not enough to make that creepy at this point. I always enjoyed your personality even if I acted annoyed. You’re also all I have left of my past.”

“You know, you could have had more.”

“Naruto, Sakura, Konoha . . . I don’t want them. Once, I truly did want to be friends with Naruto, but my own pride got in the way and then Itachi got in the way. There were even points during those three years I was gone that I wanted it. But when we fought on the same side in the war, I realized that even though we did make a good team, the fact we really acknowledged each other was enough. We are friends, but I don’t need him here next to me. Sakura I never felt anything at all except as a teammate. Konoha never meant much to me and after I learned the truth about Itachi, I hated Konoha. I still do, deep down. You are the only person living from my past I want with me. I was willing to live the rest of my life with nothing of my past around me, but now that you’re here, I feel I need you at my side.”

“I did miss you terribly,” Kakashi admitted. “Before you fought with us against Madara and Kaguya, I would have done just about anything to bring you home.”

“What about after?”

“You were no longer in danger and you were an ally. You didn’t want to come home, but I was certain you were safe. I couldn’t force you to come home when you didn’t want to, especially after you expressed how much you loathed Konoha. Why should you come home at that point? Just to make Naruto, Sakura, and I happy? You would have been miserable. Before, we wanted to save you—from Orochimaru and then from yourself—but to want to take you back to Konoha now would just be pure selfishness.”

Sasuke dipped his head in agreement. “The fact Naruto thought the same is proof he’s finally maturing. I’m glad you both finally respect my wishes. Of course, my wanting to keep you here is that same selfishness.”

Kakashi wasn’t relishing going home. The thought of being sent home caused his heart to leap in panic. He wasn’t sure it was selfishness at this point.

-----

After their outing together, Kakashi was freed to leave not only Sasuke’s room, but the building. He had to have an escort though.

Sasuke led Kakashi into the corridor after breakfast to meet his shepherd.

“Kakashi-san,” the young man bowed respectfully.

Sasuke snorted with amusement, trying not to laugh. “Don’t kill each other.” He left them.

“You may call me Shou. I am your guard, tour guide, and jailer.” The young man was dressed all in black and wore an ANBU style mask, though it was featureless like Kiri’s hunter-nin’s. The village’s symbol of a four pointed pinwheel was pained in red on the forehead, the eyes were almond-shaped holes, but they were accented with black paint. There was a slit over the mouth to help the man breathe; this was also accented to give him a stern look.

“Guard? Are some people displeased that I’m here?”

“Very few. I’m guarding you from Konoha assassins.”

Kakashi nodded. It was a grim reality of being a shinobi.

Kakashi was impressed with this young man: he was calm, alert, and didn’t slouch or complain as he escorted Kakashi wherever he wanted to go.

Kakashi just wandered the village, stretching his legs and exercising them. Shou was silent and just short of openly hostile, but Kakashi ignored him; he trusted Sasuke and Shou’s fear and respect for Sasuke.

His meandering path led him to the cemetery. There was a civilian cemetery that had a handful of graves, this being a new village rather than a preexisting one that Sasuke turned into a shinobi village. Next to it was a shinobi cemetery. There was a section set aside for those who were missing and presumed dead; there were two stones there. In the other part of the graveyard, there were only three graves.

Kakashi had only taken note of the number of dead before, but now he was curious to see who these people were. The two MIA shinobi and two of the others were unknown to him. One was old enough that he probably died of old age rather than in action.

But the first grave held Kakashi’s interest. It was Itachi’s. It was a simple grave, no more elaborate than its neighbors. Of course, Sasuke was not ostentatious. The only difference was there was the Uchiha fan rather than the pinwheel symbol. There were also several bunches of flowers rather than just the one bundle on each of the others. Otherwise it was very clean and there was a lingering scent of incense. That scent was familiar.

“Sasuke visits every day, doesn’t he?” Kakashi asked Shou.

Shou didn’t respond. Kakashi smirked. Not information to give a spy or possible assassin.

“I’d bet he comes here and gets lost in his own thoughts. He’s often late, isn’t he? Giving lame excuses? It’d be funny if he did.”

Shou didn’t answer or move, but he seemed to be uncomfortable.

Kakashi was overwhelmed with sadness. He remembered the young, large eyed boy who joined ANBU and then became the youngest captain in the village’s history. He sacrificed everything for Konoha and his brother. He was a great shinobi and Kakashi grieved not only for his death, but that he was forced to live his life the way he did, always lying, hiding his true self even from his beloved brother.

Kakashi knelt and prayed. “I should have brought an offering,” he said as he stood. “I knew him. Are his remains really here?”

Shou hesitated. “Yes. After he died, the man known as Tobi took his body back to his base along with Sasuke-sama who had collapsed after the fight. Sasuke-sama brought his ashes here when he founded the village.”

Kakashi sighed. “Of all the habits he could inherit from his sensei, I hope visiting graves every day isn’t one of them.”

Shou was less hostile after their stop at the cemetery. When they got back to Sasuke’s suite, Shou came in with him and shut the door.

“I don’t agree with Sasuke-sama turning his back to you. I don’t trust you or any shinobi from other villages. I know you’re now his lover and he does . . . care for you. That alone protects you here. However, I think I understand why he trusts you. Do not betray it.”

“Shou-san, are you one of Sasuke’s lovers?”

Shou completely froze. “Why do think that?”

“Sasuke’s reaction to you bowing to me; he nearly laughed. I know better than anyone how rare it is to inspire any reaction from him; he has intimate knowledge of you.”

“Lover is not the appropriate word.”

“I hope you’re not jealous.”

“I’m not. I understand my place in Sasuke-sama’s life. I hope you understand yours.” With that, he left.

Kakashi stood there and thought for a while. What was his place in Sasuke’s life? What was his place in the world? What did he want his place to be? Going back to Konoha looked bleak. He would just be going back to a lonely studio apartment, a houseplant, and a bunch of casual acquaintances. A familiar life with no surprises or variety except on missions. But things were relatively peaceful after the war; challenging missions were in short supply. Even if he wouldn’t be going on missions if he stayed here, at least he’d have someone in his life.

What did he want his place to be?

-----

Sasuke slept next to him every night; eight nights in a row now. Even as his body healed and could produce enough of its own heat, Kakashi unconsciously sought Sasuke’s body heat in the night. Some nights, it was Sasuke who clung to him.

Kakashi slept longer than Sasuke, his body now having to heal from the rebuilding of muscle. Sasuke had lunch with him every day, often waking him, and dinner every night.

Tonight, Sasuke showered first then filled the ofuro while Kakashi showered. When Kakashi finished, Sasuke guided him to join him in the ofuro. Sasuke leaned back and pulled Kakashi to lie back against his chest. Sasuke petted his head, dipping his hand into the hot water to rewet and rewarm Kakashi’s hair every once in a while; they were still underground and the air held a constant chill. They didn’t speak and didn’t do anything sexual; they just lay there in the water together while Sasuke played with his hair. Kakashi thought this might be the height of bliss.

Once the water cooled below their body temperature, they got out and dried. They didn’t dress; they got into bed nude. They may not have done anything sexual in the ofuro, but they didn’t intend to sleep before they had sex. Kakashi wasn’t as weak anymore, but he laid down on his back, knowing Sasuke would be on top.

Sasuke knelt on the bed next to him and took his hand. “Your hands are still cold.” He pulled his hand to his chest and Kakashi could feel the warmth seeping into his fingers.

“It stays cold underground,” Kakashi said.

“I’ve lived so long underground I don’t really notice anymore. Now that you mention it, I was constantly cold when I first started living with Orochimaru. Your body gets used to it.”

Sasuke’s eyes grew distant and sad. He left Kakashi’s hand on his chest and picked up the other and rubbed warmth back into it.

Sasuke settled down on Kakashi’s thighs and ran his hands down Kakashi’s chest. His eyes followed his fingertips. He frowned to feel and see a scar on Kakashi’s lower ribs, and another below his liver, a cut from the middle of his abdomen down to his left hip bone. Though they’d had sex several times already, Sasuke’s attention tended to focus on Kakashi’s face or groin. Seeing the scars on his body, the marks left by other people, bothered him. Especially as his own marks—the bruises and welts—were almost all faded to nothing.

The flesh of Kakashi’s cock tightened. A rush of arousal flowed through him. Sasuke’s eyes were angry. Kakashi understood those eyes: possessiveness. He’d never been the object of someone’s jealousy before.

Sasuke traced a third wound just under his heart. That stab was almost fatal. Sasuke stroked it a few times and Kakashi knew Sasuke was considering the fact he might have died.

Sasuke’s eyes were focused on that scar as he tactically memorized it. He finally looked at Kakashi’s face again. “Don’t ever let anyone else put a mark on you.”

“I’ll try.”

Inspired by the thought of other people marking his lover, Sasuke eased his body down on Kakashi and started licking and kissing his neck, then sucking and biting it, making sure there would be a dark mark there by morning.

Satisfied with his work and still horny as hell, Sasuke prepared his lover. Rather than pressing into him, Sasuke moved to the side. “Turn over.” Kakashi obeyed and Sasuke slid into his tight body from behind.

Sasuke bent and licked at Kakashi’s back while his cock was firmly planted inside him. As his tongue ventured further up, Sasuke’s body pressed hard against his and pressed him down into the mattress. Kakashi pushed his ass up and his stomach down. Sasuke put an arm around his chest and pulled his upper body up, forming Kakashi’s body into an S shape. Sasuke bit at his shoulder and started moving shallowly, his chest rubbing against Kakashi’s back. His hips moved to stir Kakashi’s inside’s making him moan.

Sasuke moved back, his arm still around Kakashi’s chest, pulling him back as well until they were both upright on their knees. The slow, sensuous sex turned to energetic fucking. Sasuke just wanted to rut into him. Kakashi pressed back into him, taking him deep.

Sasuke took his arm away causing Kakashi to drop back to the bed and Sasuke grabbed his hips and pounded into him.

Loathe to end it so quickly, Sasuke slowed down and harshly grabbed at the skin of Kakashi’s ass that was still loose from losing muscle mass. His hand moved up his back, pressing hard into his back, forcing him down and still. His other hand went all the way up into Kakashi’s hair, threading his fingers in it and using it to control Kakashi’s head, pressing it into the pillow then back up so he could breathe freely.

Sasuke couldn’t control himself anymore, he put both hands on Kakashi’s shoulders, pressing them down, leaving only Kakashi’s hips up. Using his shoulders as leverage, Sasuke fucked him hard and fast. He came, his hips snapping back and forth as he shot his cum deep inside Kakashi’s body.

Sasuke was spent, but Kakashi’s cock was hard and Sasuke wanted to show Kakashi how special he was to him, especially after Sasuke had just focused on his own pleasure. He pulled Kakashi onto his back and straddled his stomach. He reached back and fingered his own asshole, slickening and opening himself up. He wasn’t a virgin, but he rarely allowed another to fill him. Once he thought himself ready, he reached further back to coat Kakashi’s cock and then aim it at his entrance, shuffling back on his knees to align his opening with Kakashi’s erection.

He’d shut his eyes to focus on his actions, but now he opened his eyes to see Kakashi’s were wide with shock that Sasuke was going to ride him. Sasuke’s lips curled into a soft smile. He lowered himself slowly, not used to this at all. Kakashi didn’t move; he let Sasuke ease himself down. Sasuke let out the breath he held when he’d taken all of Kakashi’s cock.

“Fuck, you’re large. It’s been a long time.” With that, Sasuke lifted himself up and started fucking himself on Kakashi’s hardness. Kakashi bucked up into him, setting a pace with him so that his hips rose as Sasuke descended. It wasn’t something Kakashi could keep up for long though and he then let Sasuke ride him at his own pace.

Watching Sasuke move and feeling his wonderful, tight heat embracing and stroking him, Kakashi soon came. Sasuke kept riding him until Kakashi’s limp cock slipped from his body.

Sasuke hadn’t been hard though he did enjoy the feeling of being fucked. He lay down next to Kakashi and settled in against his side.

“I rarely do that. It’s been nearly a year since the last time. Don’t be offended that I didn’t get hard; I’m wrung dry and it hurt a bit.”

“Why’d you do it?”

Sasuke lay an arm on Kakashi’s chest. “I wanted to please you, show you that I do love you and you’re special to me. I don’t allow just anyone to fuck me.”

Kakashi was over thirty and facing becoming Hokage—a position he did not want. What was for him at home? Here he had his favorite student and sex better than he’d ever had. Be the consort of a sato-osa/daimyo?

Kakashi was tired. He was done thinking. It took an amazing amount of mental discipline to keep silent during torture. His mind was tired. He was warm and comfortable. He felt strangely safe with the man who had ordered his torture and had raped him. He was done thinking about it.

Sasuke turned and laid his head on Kakashi’s shoulder. Kakashi pulled him into the most comfortable position for both of them.

It struck Kakashi after a few minutes that they were cuddling. Fucking cuddling! He never felt this content before with anyone. He finger combed Sasuke’s hair and he was completely relaxed. He felt something hollow tugging at his heart thinking about being sent back to Konoha.

His heart broke. He loved Sasuke. But loving Sasuke meant turning from Konoha and probably never returning home. The torture was almost like a death and this new relationship was like a rebirth: he could deal with never seeing Konoha again. He was willing to let the past go and stay with Sasuke.

He kissed Sasuke’s hair. “I love you, Sasuke.”

Sasuke nuzzled in closer. “Good. I love you.”