Embracing Dreams

In response to recent reviews:

None of the characters in this fic are perfect and they're not supposed to be. Shades of gray are what make characters real. In my opinion, of course. They're self-centered people with their own motivations and flaws. You'll never find a saint in one of my fics unless it's a very old fic or I intentionally did a Mary Sue character. The character flaws are all intentional because it's the flaws that shape a unique personality. Kyuubi is an enigma. He's suposed to be one. It's called a plot hole to be tied up at some point in the story. Lots of characters have their own theories to explain him, but not even he knows what he actually is. He just is. And he's dangerous and he's confusing, because he's the epitome of self-centered with his own motivations and flaws. He's not a good guy. Naruto's the good guy - most of the time, because even he has flaws. Kyuubi is the dark side of the good guy, sometimes amusing and helpful, sometimes cruel and obstructive. He does what suits him, always. He's not a villain because he's not always bad, he's not a protagonist because he's not always good. He's shades of gray and is meant to be that way. That's why Naruto is especially conflicted, pushy but restrained, childish but more mature than one might expect him to be. Sasuke is the only character in the fic who is depicted in black and white, because his shades of gray have mostly been erased by Itachi. He takes Kyuubi in stride because he's been conditioned to react and move on, to accept rationalize and ignore. His ability to trivialize things that should be horrific is what makes him the perfect counter to Kyuubi. Naruto needs someone who can take Kyuubi in stride and so far Sasuke is the only one who can do that. Is it angsty? Sure. So is Sasuke's entire backstory. So is Naruto's. So is Iruka's. (Surprised?) It goes with the territory. Life sucks and then you die. You've gotta learn to laugh along the way or else it's a pointless journey.

Lots of chatting in this rambling little chapter. Don't like it? Don't read it. The next chapter will pick up right where this one left off and should be done soon.

Warnings: humor, references to smut, lots of dialogue

Part 30

When Naruto explained his idea to the others, their reactions varied. He recognized the way Kiba was staring at him, as if he wanted to mimic Sasuke's 'sounds dumb' remark. Sakura looked uncomfortable, Lee looked confused, and Ino looked downright rabid. Naruto had already begun to wince before the blonde opened her mouth to scoff at him.

"That's great!" Ino exclaimed. "And after show and tell is over, we can all trace our hands and make turkey pictures!" This time the silent looks were directed at her. She scowled at them, "Oh, come on. Turkeys. Thanksgiving. What, am I the only one here who had a normal childhood...?"

Kiba snorted, "Ask a stupid question..."

"Oh, shut up," she snapped at him.

"How do we play?" asked Lee. His enthusiasm was enough to bring a faint smile to Naruto's face, and to send Akamaru's tail wagging. "Is there a prize for the winner?"

"It's not that kind of game," Sakura told him. "The prize is having your question answered, or getting to make the person do something they'd never normally do."

"Oh! You've played before?"

"No..."

"It's as old a game as spin the bottle and not nearly as rewarding," Ino scoffed. She immediately countered the criticism with a sly, "though it could be interesting if the dares are creative enough. No daring one of us to give you a blowjob, though. We have to draw the line somewhere." Her prim sniff countered the amusement in her eyes when Sakura promptly choked.

Lee perked up, "What's a-"

"I'll explain later," said Ino.

"Okay!"

Naruto fought to keep his blush to a minimum. Kyuubi was enjoying Ino's attitude a little too much and his comments were enough to completely sidetrack him. He sent a sidelong glance at Sasuke. They were all gathered in the livingroom since he thought the livingroom floor would make a good place for the circle. Sasuke hadn't deigned to leave the doorway. He was leaning there with his arms folded and a bored look on his face. His lack of reaction or interest pushed Naruto to get things rolling before he changed his mind.

"There's six of us," said Naruto, "so we can use a die and numbers to do the questions."

Ino looked surprised. "Who plays it that way?"

"I don't know," Naruto admitted. "Is there a better way to do it? This way we roll to see what number we are, then we go in order - if you roll your own number you go again. That way you don't get to pick who you ask the question of." All the better to keep himself from getting bombarded, though he had an idea Ino would be more interested in asking questions of Sasuke than him. He scowled at the odd reaction that thought garnered from Kyuubi. For a possessive fox, Kyuubi didn't seem too upset at the thought of the blonde crawling all over his boyfriend. Maybe because Kyuubi fancied himself somewhere in that threesome.

'It'll never happen,' he growled at the pervert. 'Even if it did, it would be me in there, not you!'

'You wouldn't be able to keep up with either of them,' Kyuubi said dismissively. He was tails deep in his own imaginings, not minding Naruto's annoyance. 'He's getting far too comfortable with you...'

'I want him comfortable with me,' Naruto reminded him. 'And what does that have to do with Ino?' Kyuubi's response was an explicit image of the two bound, defiled, and most importantly, humbled. Naruto didn't even realize he was choking to death until he felt Kiba's hand pounding on his back.

"Are you okay?" asked Sakura.

'We can do the flower, too, if you insist,' Kyuubi said magnanimously.

The image came before Naruto could block it. He continued to choke, mentally bitchslapping Kyuubi as far into the back of his head as he could. At this rate he wouldn't be able to look anyone here in the eye without seeing them naked. His bleary eyes happened to land on Lee and he shuddered. He was suddenly very glad Iruka had gotten Kakashi out of the house for this. There was only so much mental scarring he could take.

"If you're done trying to swallow your own tongue, can we get this started?" Ino frowned when Naruto shot her a look and promptly choked some more. "What?" she snapped. "This was your bright idea."

"Give him a minute," said Sakura. "You've been making fun of him from the start, now you're eager to play?" Ino sent a smoldering look toward the boy leaning in the doorway. Sakura rolled her eyes.

"I'm okay," Naruto gasped. He wiped his eyes, wincing away from Kiba, who seemed to enjoy hitting him a little too much. A glance found his so-called boyfriend still watching from across the room. Would it kill him to show some concern? Or any emotion at all, for that matter. "I just had something in my throat," he said to Sakura. He was glad Kyuubi preferred fantasizing over Ino. Sakura was much too nice - when she wasn't being scary - to feature in one of the fox's sadistic fantasies.

It didn't take long to get everyone arranged in a circle, a chessboard set in the middle for them to roll on. Naruto suggested they spend the first round introducing themselves. That way they could tell as much as they were willing to and save the questions for the private stuff they'd rather not say. He was hoping at least one of them would have something to rival his own embarrassing secret. He'd rolled a three. If one of the first two offered up something bad enough, then he could just come right out with his own and - if he was lucky - brush over it as it wasn't a big deal.

'It's not,' Kyuubi huffed. 'It won't be a big deal unless you make it one.'

'I'm playing this game,' Naruto reminded him. 'I'm the one who has to deal with it, not you. And before you go there, imagining them all in bondage and dripping sticky stuff isn't going to make me more comfortable with this. Don't try to be helpful, okay?' A sullen silence answered him. He counted that as a victory.

"Me first?" Sakura said with a weak smile. "I don't really have any dark secrets." Ino snorted. She shot her a glare before continuing. "I'm just a...I think they said D class? I have one uncontrolled talent and that's all. I can heal serious injuries if I understand exactly what's wrong. But if it's not as bad as I think it is, or if I misunderstand the nature of the injury, then it messes up. I end up causing the injury I mistakenly thought was there instead of healing what was actually there." She licked her lips nervously. "I don't use my talent because of that."

Kiba, who'd rolled a two, waited for her to add something. When she didn't, he shrugged. "I communicate with animals. I relate best to dogs, like Akamaru here. I've been living on my own most my life, staying out of cities and stuff. I do best in wild places, not that there are many of those left these days. Akamaru got scratched up by a raccoon a few months back and we tried to find a vet for him. That's how I ended up getting caught by those lab coats. They were really interested in using animals. As spies, maybe. I wasn't much help to them. Mice and squirrels are best for being everywhere and all, but their brains are so small they're pretty much useless. At least, I can't get sense from them. Most animals I talk to communicate with images - the rodent types are just instinct and emotion, fear mostly."

"You're supposed to be telling about yourself," Ino pointed out.

"I am," Kiba scowled. "My talent is to relate to animals. I communicate with them and if we bond, then we get a little trade off going. Like with Akamaru. I pick up some of his senses and he picks up human speech."

"He can talk?" Naruto blurted. "Like Pakkun!?"

"No! He understands what we're saying, but he's got a dog's mouth. I don't know how the hell Pakkun talks around that mouth of his. All those teeth get in the way, you know."

Sasuke was glaring at the dog. "He understands human speech?"

"Yeah," Kiba scowled. "He-"

"You guys are asking questions!" Ino interrupted. "This round of show and tell is the showing - introductions only. Save the questions and the telling for round two."

"Right," Naruto winced. "Then-"

"We could just forget the game and talk," Sasuke said in a bland tone.

Naruto glared at him. "No! We're playing a game here. We have to stick to the rules or it'll get all messed up."

"Introduce yourself, then."

It came out as a taunt and reminded Naruto of whose turn it now was. He suddenly felt small. A wide grin flew to his face, an instinctive reaction to being the center of attention. "You guys know that picture the weird old guy drew in the mall earlier? That's my talent. Well, minus the scary factor. I've got a split personality that looks like a fox-"

'Not looks like,' Kyuubi corrected, 'is a fox.'

"-only since he's just in my head he might as well be a person," Naruto continued, ignoring the offense Kyuubi took at the assumption that being a 'person' was better than being a fox. "He's like my id, you know, ego - super ego - and then the wild little kid 'Id' who's all about want-want-want." He knew he was rambling on about things only someone in longterm contact with Iruka would understand, but he couldn't stop himself. In the end, Iruka's clinical explanation sounded the least insane, even if it was the least accurate when compared to Kyuubi himself. "His name is Kyuubi, because he's got nine tails. A weird looking fox, I guess," and he laughed. "We sort of share energy, his is red, and it lets us do stuff like, uh, be stronger than usual, some animal type instincts-" and he shot a quick grin at Kiba, hoping for support there. "You can tell when he's around because my eyes get red-"

'I'm around even when your eyes are blue,' Kyuubi growled. 'What are you babbling on about?'

"-so if I ever get all red-eyed and sharp toothed, it's just him taking a peek around. Don't pay any attention to it. Yeah..." He scratched at the back of his neck, the grin threatening to split his face in two. He was extremely aware of the stares. Even Akamaru was watching him without blinking. A snort broke the silence. Naruto almost hit Sasuke without even thinking about it. So much for supporting him when he was going out on a limb here. The asshole. He should have known better than to-

"My talent also involves my eyes going red," Sasuke stated. He activated the sharingan, immediately drawing the attention of everyone but Naruto, who was still squirming in his own embarrassment. "They allow me to copy talents. I'm most interested in copying yours," he told Lee. "I've fought a lot of mutants over the years. I've never seen anyone with energy like yours."

"Is it special?" Lee asked, bright eyed and excited. "My master taught me everything I know. He assured me that I would be able to hold my own with any opponent I might encounter, but I have yet to put it to the test. I have little control over my energy, it simply is what it is. My talents involve physical excellence." There was not a hint of boasting in that comment, as if he were merely stating a fact. "Speed, strength, and agility are what I've trained to excel at. I don't believe that is something a person could copy. It requires years of training and far more stamina than you have." He shrugged apologetically when Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "I see these things. It may have to do with my energy, though I consider it simple instinct. For instance, Naruto-kun and his-" He blinked and frowned. "Should I address him separately? Kyuubi-san?"

"It doesn't really matter," Naruto said weakly.

"Very well," Lee smiled. "I know that the two of you have a great amount of potential stamina more akin to mine than anyone else here. You," and he nodded to Sasuke, "are much more refined and thus limited. You have more in common with..." He looked around at the others, stared at the doorway for a moment, and then nodded. "With the boy in the other room. And Iruka-san, of course."

"Not Kakashi?" asked Sasuke.

"Oh, no. His talent is quite strange to me. Perhaps he is to me what I am to you," he smiled widely. "I've never met anyone like him. I can't tell if he is strong or weak, which is very unusual. I tend to know these things on first sight."

"He's strong," Naruto said grudgingly. "A total weirdo pervert, but he's pretty strong."

"I see."

A long sigh sounded, then Ino waved at them. "You're chatting again. Why is it so hard to just talk about yourself and then move on? I want to get to the dares sometime today. So, if you don't mind, it's my turn."

"I'm sorry," Lee said quickly. "I didn't mean to monopolize the conversation."

"I know," Ino sighed. "You can't help being clueless. You're as bad as Sakura."

"Hey!"

"You know it's true," Ino sniffed at her. "Anyway, it's my turn. I have one talent that is, from the sound of things, better than any of yours." She waited long enough for Kiba and Naruto to frown at her conceited tone. "I can transfer my consciousness into another person and control them completely. Shall I provide a demonstration?"

Sakura jumped, "Ino, don't you-" The blonde girl had slumped sideways into her before she could finish.

"What happened?" asked Naruto. He leaned toward Ino, who appeared to be sleeping. "Who did she-" A hand crept along the back of his neck and he turned to find Sasuke giving him a sweet smile. He'd never seen anything so creepy in his entire life. "Sasuke...?"

"Nope, guess again."

"Ino, get out of him right now!" Sakura cried. "I can't believe you!"

"I'm not hurting anything," Ino said, though it was Sasuke's voice that spoke. "Am I, Naruto...?"

A shiver started over Naruto's back. Sasuke was going to kill her. And then he'd kill him for talking him into playing this game in the first place. He was deeply grateful when that playful hand left his neck. At least, he was until it dropped to Sasuke's folded legs and began to run little circles over his bare knee. For one brief moment he imagined it was actually Sasuke doing that, touching himself in front of him. Then Kyuubi pounced and he found wide dark eyes inches from his own. The fact that it was Ino's fear marring Sasuke's features didn't sooth his anger. "Get out!"

"Okay, okay, I was-" Sasuke's voice stopped cold, the rest coming from Ino on the other side of the circle.

"-just playing," Ino huffed. She straightened her hair and frowned at Naruto. "You weren't kidding about the red eyes thing..."

"Don't you ever do that again," Naruto growled at her. The voice was as much Kyuubi's as his own. It had the desired effect. Ino hunched her shoulders and looked away. He immediately looked to Sasuke. His expression was absolutely blank, dark eyes staring down at the hand that still lay over his knee. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," said Sasuke. He folded his arms over his chest, his blank stare shifting to the chessboard in the center of the circle. "How many rounds are in this game?"

"I don't know," Naruto frowned. He wasn't the least bit fooled by that 'fine' of his. "A few?"

"Let's get on with it, then."

"I guess I'm first," Sakura said. She sent one more frigid glare at Ino, and then rolled a three. Naruto paled when she looked up at him. She smiled, "How did you come to be adopted by Iruka?"

A simple easy question. Naruto was sure that was how she'd seen it. Something easy to help him relax. She couldn't possibly know that was the last thing he wanted to tell. Just because they'd been too distracted to freak out about his fox personality didn't mean they wouldn't freak when they found out he'd been raised in mental hospitals. He fidgeted and flashed a playful grin. "Dare!"

"Really?" Sakura blinked in surprise. She covered it quickly. "Um... I dare you to...let Kyuubi take a peek around - for the rest of the game!"

"What!" Naruto yelped. "Why? What's the point of-"

"Truth or dare," Ino said sharply. "Besides, you went 'all red-eyed' just now. Might as well go sharp-toothed while you're at it."

"You did say he comes out for a peek now and then, right?" Sakura prodded. "I'd like to meet him. I have a second personality myself, though it's only in my head. Iruka-san mentioned that he knew someone who'd had trouble with two personalities sharing his mind - I had no idea he was referring to you."

"Wait," Naruto blinked, "you have a split personality, too? You didn't say anything about that when-"

"It's not my talent," shrugged Sakura. "It's just a childhood thing I never grew out of. Anyway, truth or dare. Which will it be?"

Naruto glowered at the giddy fox hopping around behind his ears. 'This is only temporary. Don't think you're going to go wild on them. And if the next question isn't something you can answer, you have to let me take it. Oh, and you don't get to ask my question, either. I'm still the one playing this game.'

Kyuubi growled. 'When do I get to play?'

'Some other time,' Naruto said. 'After they've gotten used to you.' Not that he'd ever instigate a game like this again. Kyuubi must have heard that thought because his scowl manifested on Naruto's face when he was allowed to come forward. Naruto rolled his eyes, mentally, as he made himself comfortable. 'Stop pouting.'

'Fuck you,' muttered the fox.

'Language!'

"You don't look very different," Sakura commented. "Aside from the eyes."

Kyuubi flashed her a grin, sharp teeth glinting very well in the light. The way she paled was very gratifying.

"Oh..."

"My turn," said Kiba. He grabbed the die and rolled it hard, making it bounce off the chessboard and land in the carpet. It was a two. He huffed and rolled again, more gently this time. His eyes glinted when it stopped on four. He snapped a sharp look on Sasuke. "Who were those mutants earlier?"

Sasuke stared blankly at him, his response short and blunt. "The one with the glasses is named Kabuto. The other one is a flunky of his. I don't know his name."

Kiba growled, scoffing, "That doesn't tell me anything! Where did they come from? What do they want? Why-"

"I answered your question," Sasuke said. He handed the die to Naruto. "It's your turn."

"That's not fair!" Kiba protested.

"You should have phrased the question better," Ino said dismissively. She ignored his answering growl.

Kyuubi rolled a two and asked his question before Naruto had a chance to push forward and pose one of his own. "Are you a hunter? How good are you at tracking?"

"Yeah, I am," Kiba answered. "I'm real good." He exchanged a quick look with Akamaru, who whined quietly. "Are you thinking of a competition? You know, hounds hunt down foxes all the time."

"Oh, I have someone else in mind for the prey," Kyuubi drawled.

'You better be talking about Ino,' Naruto warned him. 'There's no way Sasuke would go along with it.'

'Why wouldn't he? He's a worthy prey. With skilled hunters on his tail, he'll improve so that no one but us will be able to track him. It's for his own benefit.'

'Right. You're wanting to hunt him down so you can make him stronger. It has nothing to do with pouncing and eating him once you catch him. Then you won't mind if Kiba finds him first.'

'That would never happen.'

'Then there's no point in competing!' Naruto huffed.

Kyuubi sighed, 'This is between me and the beast-boy. It has nothing to do with you.'

'Um, it's still my body. Just because I'm letting you out for this game doesn't mean you'll get to do whatever you want later. Don't think you can-' His vision blurred as Kyuubi suddenly swung his head around. Sasuke wasn't sitting beside them anymore. A moment later, he was rising and rushing after him. Naruto pushed at Kyuubi to let him have control. He needn't have bothered.

Sasuke stood frozen just inside the doorway, his stance stiff and unnatural. Naruto, or rather Kyuubi, pressed up to look over his shoulder. Shikamaru stood there, blinking bleary eyes at them. The boy lifted a hand to smother a yawn, and Sasuke mimicked him.

"I was just looking for the kitchen," Shikamaru muttered. "You don't have to attack me."

"What is this?" Sasuke hissed. His teeth were clenched, but his expression remained as blank as it had been earlier.

"Self defense. I've caught your shadow. You were too fast for me to avoid, so I just stopped you. Say you won't come at me again and I'll let you go. Like I said, I'm just looking for the kitchen. That Iruka guy promised me soup."

"Iruka's out right now," Kyuubi grinned. His eyes flew from Sasuke's stiff stance, down to the floor, and traced the visible shadow connecting his feet to Shikamaru's. Even Naruto was startled by the talent. "The kitchen is that way," he pointed down the hall. Then he curled his arms over Sasuke's shoulders, pressing up behind him and tickling under his chin with one sharp claw. Sure enough, Sasuke's eyebrow twitched and that was all. "You froze him completely?"

"Yeah."

Sasuke growled when Kyuubi tickled his neck some more. "Naruto..."

"Naruto is taking a nap," Kyuubi hummed into his ear.

'I am not!' Naruto yelped. 'What are you-' A clawed hand curled around Sasuke's waist, pulling him very close, and he gulped. 'Hey, Kyuubi...'

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "I can feel everything you do to him."

"Really?" Kyuubi blinked. If anything, his grin widened. "Everything...?"

"Kyuubi," Sasuke growled.

"Yes, that's my name."

"I'm going to kill you."

"Promises, promises..."

With another yawn, uncovered this time, Shikamaru released his binding shadow. He promptly stepped to the side. The formerly frozen Sasuke wrenched himself free and landed a kick on the side of Naruto's head. A moment later the hallway was wafting with furious vibes. It was enough to exhaust anyone in the nearby vicinity. Shikamaru huffed and left them to it. He could hear a scuffle break out, more voices, one particularly strident 'What about the game?' and then the door slammed. Silence reigned for a good minute before the voices started up again, erupting into the kitchen loudly enough to make him plug an ear with his finger.

"Thanks a lot," Ino glared, stomping forward until he was forced to back up a step. "You did that on purpose, didn't you! You've slept for days and days and the second we're having some actual fun, you wake up and spoil it. What do you have against me?"

The others were crowding in the doorway, Lee and Kiba talking at the same time but not to each other.

Sakura elbowed her way through. "Why are you taking it personally?"

Ino didn't take her eyes off Shikamaru, "Because he did the same damn thing in that factory! The second things are going well, he wakes up and suddenly everyone's fussing over him and he's the center of attention. After I went to all the trouble of making Sasuke more interested in my talent than-"

"What makes you think he's interested in your talent?" Sakura interrupted. "He said Lee's was the one-"

"He can't copy my talent," Lee said, regretfully. "I honestly don't believe anyone could."

Kiba shoved Lee on the shoulder, his voice quiet, "Don't interrupt, don't attract their attention." He directed him to the table, where they'd have a front row seat without being in the line of fire.

"Of course he's interested," Ino scoffed. "I could control anyone in the world, except maybe a few freaks with multiple personalities. Obviously if someone wanted to find a rare and ridiculously useful talent, he'd come to me. It's common sense."

"It's cheating," snapped Sakura. "That's what it is, cheating. You specifically said no talents."

"Oh, come on! I touched his leg. While I was wearing it. That doesn't even count as groping," she turned sharply, "does it, Lee?"

"Ah!" Lee smiled. "Groping, as in touching in a private part. No, a leg is not a private part. Therefore touching one would surely not be considered-"

"Now that doesn't count," Sakura scoffed. "He only knows what you've taught him. He's been coached. He's biased." She turned as well, "Kiba?"

"Why involve me?" Kiba demanded. "I'm biased, too. Hell, I'm extremely biased. Against both of you."

"You don't have to be rude," said Sakura. "Just answer the question. You were there. Would you count that as groping?"

Kiba sighed. So much for this being a spectator sport. "What she did to Naruto? Yeah, that was groping."

"Hey!" Ino yelped. "Not that! We're not even-"

"What she did to Sasuke?" Kiba continued. "That was just messing with herself. It was her own body while she was in there, right? Not like he felt a thing, right? So if you wanted to label it anything, it'd have to be...well..."

"Masturbation?" asked Lee.

"Pretty much," Kiba grimaced. "She did it right there in front of us, too..."

"Oh..." Lee murmured, his eyes very wide. "Oh, I apologize! I should not have watched! I had no idea you were masturbating!"

"I wasn't masturbating!" Ino blurted. "Don't tell him things like that, you-! Dog-licker!"

"The hell? I don't lick dogs! You take that-"

"A dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's." Lee nodded sagely when they looked at him. "It is an inhospitable environment for bacteria compared to the human mouth."

Sakura cleared her throat. "How do you know things like that when you don't know anything about...well, anything?"

"Doesn't everyone know that?"

Kiba snorted, "I didn't and I talk to dogs."

A high pitched gasp broke them up. Ino had a hand over her mouth, eyes bulging in horror. The others followed her gaze.

Shikamaru bore the stares for twenty seconds before lowering the gallon of milk. He took a quick breath after all that swallowing. "What?"

"How could you...?" Ino whispered. "I can't believe you'd...how could you just...oh..."

"What the hell," Kiba frowned at her. "You never drank out of a jug before?"

Ino shuddered, her curled hand pressing closer to her mouth. "Of all the dirty...germs...backwash...oh...how could you..." She choked and suddenly stomped a foot on the floor. "Sick! That's sick! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Sakura rushed to her side, putting an arm over her shoulders and acting both to comfort and restrain her. "It's not a big deal. Really. It's just a jug of milk. A few dollars down the drain, that's all."

"I'm not pouring it down the drain," Shikamaru muttered, staring at Sakura as if she were the bizarre one. "That's wasteful."

"Damn right it is!" Ino cried. Her face was angry and upset, with a good dose of nausea. She stomped her foot again. "You have to finish every drop now! When it goes back in the refrigerator, you have to put your name on it so no one swallows any of your backwash, you - sick, sick person, you!"

"I wasn't planning to put it back at all." Shikamaru turned away from Ino and glanced at the table. He caught Kiba's eye. "Bathroom?" With a direction in mind now, he sent another weird look at the panting Ino and then left the room, head back and jug tilted so he could drink while he walked. There was one more stomp before he made it out of the kitchen.

"What's wrong with her?" Kiba asked Sakura. "Everyone's drank out of a jug at least once, right?"

"I have," Lee chirped. "It is much more convenient than purchasing cups that must be cleaned and stored after each usage."

Sakura flashed a wincing look. "That's not the same as drinking out of a container other people will be drinking out of as well. She just doesn't like germs, okay?"

"But wasn't she down in that dirty basement?" Kiba frowned. "Crawling around in the-"

"People-germs," Sakura huffed. "And spit." She glared at Kiba. "Would you enjoy drinking a jug of someone else's spit? No? I didn't think so. Drop it." Prodding Ino, she guided her out of the room, slowly, so hopefully there would be no glimpse of Shikamaru when they hit the hall.

Ino let herself be guided only because her stomach was twisting enough to leave her too dizzy to make it up the stairs to her room. "Why is he so sick? It was sick, wasn't it?"

"It was sick," Sakura assured her. "Completely rude. No manners at all."

"Just sick. And milk! The backwash will be floating on top where- Oh! It's so sick...!"

"It's always the quiet ones," Sakura commiserated.

"He doesn't even try," Ino mourned. "It's not fair! Why do I always have to be attracted to guys as disgusting as my father? Why?"

"It's a curse."

"It is! Sick, disgusting - it's not fair! I hate him! Every time I look at him, he's doing something sick and rude and - it's not fair!"

"I know."

"And when I try to want the normal ones-"

"They're gay."

"It's not fair!"

"I know."

.-.

"Well?" Kakashi drawled as they walked down the sidewalk. "How did I do?"

"I'm impressed," Iruka admitted. "You make very good small talk."

They hadn't stayed long. When Kurenai hadn't heard anything, she'd gone ahead and invited one of their coworkers and his wife to act as insurance against any plot Asuma might have had. That was the reason Iruka had given in to Naruto's request to take Kakashi with him; he'd wanted him out of the house and Iruka hadn't wanted to be forced to babysit one of the kids all through dinner. Unfortunately, without any of the kids there to keep her involved, Hinata had retired early and Kakashi had ended up being the only source of entertainment. How he'd managed to talk about so many pointless yet interesting things, Iruka didn't know. He'd thought the dinner would be humiliating. Instead, it had been pleasant, if a little on the boring side.

"Are you really that well traveled?" asked Iruka. "I didn't think you were the type to keep up with politics."

"It pays to know what's happening, especially on the mutant front. I wouldn't want to be arrested the second I step off the plane because the country has gone and banned mutants since my last visit. I started paying even more attention once I had the kid along with me. Some of them have particular laws about underaged mutants. And then there's old fashioned unrest. I'm not interested in walking into the middle of someone else's fight. Riots aren't my thing."

"But some of it is so obscure. I had no idea mutants were so involved in Australia, of all places. I've never read anything about that." Not that he doubted Kakashi's information. As outlandish as the story was, it had a ring of truth to it. "Masked vigilantes? And you mistaken for one of them..."

"Don't laugh," Kakashi pouted. "It was a major pain getting out of there. Everyone wanted an autograph or a picture and all the actual mutants hated me for walking around openly. As if I could have known that had an underground deal going on with the authorities. If I were that interested in keeping the streets cleaned, I'd have been running the place, not sticking to the shadows."

"How did Sasuke take all of the attention?"

"Badly. He just couldn't understand why everyone was fawning over me and not him. He was so jealous of my popularity I had to cut our visit short."

Iruka stared at him for a moment and then sighed. "Now that just makes me doubt the entire story. Is any of that true?"

"Of course." Kakashi stopped, catching one of his hands while putting as much hurt into his visible eyes as possible. "Iruka, do you believe I'd lie to you?"

Iruka's lips pressed into a tight line. "Now I'm doubting everything else you've said tonight." He tugged his hand free so he could resume his walk. "I should have known. You haven't so much as looked at the television or a newspaper. You haven't had any access to the net - unless you brought a laptop with you. There's no way you could be current with everything that's going on in the world. And it's only a matter of time before they think to check one of the things you mentioned, then they'll assume I'm associated with a pathological liar." He sighed. "Here I honestly thought I'd underestimated you're ability to act normal."

"You do believe I lied to you," Kakashi accused. "I'm wounded. Disappointed in you, as well. Everything I've said this evening was entirely true." He paused and then sighed himself, "Well, except the part about being pulled over in Florida. They don't issue driver's licenses to mutants there, so I wouldn't have driven at all, let alone gotten a ticket for driving too slowly. I expected at least one of you to call me on that. You should really consider learning more about what's going on in the world, Iruka."

"That was the truest-sounding story you told..."

"Which proves fact is stranger than fiction. For instance, there was a vampire in Texas two years ago who decided the death penalty was inhumane. Do you know what he did to get rid of it?"

Iruka winced, "Even if it's a true story, I probably don't want to know..."

"He cleaned out every single prison. All those poor people suffering on death row for decades, all those poor tax payers feeding them while going without themselves, all taken care of in one night. And the vampire was so full afterward that they caught him waddling from the scene of the crime as puffed up as a balloon. Of course they immediately put a dozen holes in him so that he drained just enough to fit through the door. The bloated bat he turned into during his escape was the size of a golf cart."

The laugh broke out despite Iruka's attempt to muffle it. "That's absurd. And macabre, besides. I don't believe that. If you'd told it tonight, no one else would have believed it, either."

"It's absolutely true. Look up Texas fat bat the next time you're on your computer."

"I may actually do that," Iruka warned.

"I just told you to," Kakashi beamed.

Iruka's smile faltered. "It's not true."

"I wouldn't dream of lying to you," Kakash said, reproachfully.

"Then Sasuke, who doesn't even like to be spoken to, was actually jealous that you got more paparazzi attention than he did?"

"Well...I would dream of teasing you. That doesn't count as a lie, though," he said quickly. "You didn't believe it for a second. A lie is meant to be believed. Anything less is just a joke."

"Oh, of course. I see the distinction."

"I knew you would, being so clever." He smiled at the droll response. "You're not much of a conversationalist, though. I was looking forward to hearing some interesting anecdotes. They were your friends, after all."

"I warned you I was more of a listener than a talker. One of the reasons I find myself surrounded by people who never stop talking."

"Are you implying that I talk too much? Because, you know, I can't talk at all if my mouth is otherwise occupied."

"Kakashi."

He huffed moodily. "Don't worry, Sensei, I've learned your time and place lesson very well. Which is why I'm suggesting rather than molesting. I've behaved myself all evening. Surely good behavior deserves a reward..."

Iruka gave him a long look before smiling. "Maybe."

"Coy," Kakashi grinned. "I like that."

Someone was waiting at the end of Iruka's drive. Kakashi spotted him first, giving him plenty of time to mask his annoyance. When Iruka did spot him, the old man smiled and came to meet him with an outstretched hand.

"Umino-san?"

"Yes?"

"Tiedoll, it's a pleasure to meet you. I wanted to speak with you about your house."

"Oh. Is it important?"

"I consider it time-sensitive," Tiedoll nodded solemnly. "I would be very grateful if we could go some place public to discuss it." Iruka glanced past him, toward the house, and he smiled once more. "It wouldn't be proper for a complete stranger to ask for an interview in your own home. But since I'm here, and you happen to be out, I was hoping we could get this matter settled as quickly as possible. Please, if you'd join me for a cup of coffee, I promise I won't keep you long."

Iruka gave a polite smile, his expression reserved. "I suppose I could do that. Kakashi, would you mind waiting?"

"No," Kakashi drawled, "I think I'll join the two of you. You don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all," Tiedoll said quickly. "The more the merrier. In fact, I was hoping I might get a chance to meet you as well, Hatake-san."

"You know me?"

"By reputation only. You were added to the mutant registry three weeks ago. I've wondered how you managed to stay off it for so long. Perhaps you can share some of your secrets."

"Is that what this is about?" asked Iruka. "The list?"

"Yes and no," Tiedoll admitted. He gave a cheerful smile. "I'd rather not get into it on the street."

"But you don't mind talking about it in a more public place," Kakashi murmured.

"It's not a matter of privacy," Tiedoll said quickly, his wide. "I'm not as young as I used to be so my knees protest after a while. I prefer to sit while discussing the future. It's more relaxing."

"Of course," said Iruka. "Do you have a place in mind?"

"I do."

With a smile, Tiedoll led them back the way they'd come. Kakashi eyed him, noting that his walk was as fluid as theirs, belying any old age weakness he claimed to have. The fact that he was drawing them away from the house couldn't have been more obvious. Had Iruka noticed? He'd wanted him to stay behind, so he probably had.

"What is this list?" Kakashi asked, leaving either of them to answer.

Iruka raised an eyebrow at him, his tone far too casual. "All that knowledge about politics and you haven't heard of the registry?"

"Well, I suppose it's an international list of known mutants, likely written by some faction hoping to mark them off one a time. Things like that don't really interest me. Though if I'm on it now, I guess I'll have to pay more attention."

"Not necessarily," said Tiedoll. "Names have a habit of coming and going from the list, without staying long enough to reach the top. Yours hasn't been on long enough to garner much attention. I'd say you have a sixty-six percent chance of slipping off the list in the next week or two."

"Really. How did you come up with those odds?"

Tiedoll turned to wink at him. "That's what I'd like to discuss with you."

.-.
TBC

Next up: Sasuke vs Kyuubi! ;p
Oh, and some KakaIru, too.