Why Orange?

Possible Spoilers Ahead(reads chapter 352 of the manga and looks at Itachi) I never thought you'd be one to make that much of an understatement.

Itachi: What the hell are you talking about?

T.W.: The very last panel of chapter 352 when you say a storm is coming. MAJOR understatement. You know, I'm not gonna do bold on the names of whose talking anymore. It's, to quote Shikamaru, troublesome. Instead I'll be using the {} brackets.

{Itachi} You're laziness could give the Nara a run for his money.

{T.W.} Strangely enough seeing you call Shikamaru the Nara gives me a strange desire to see an ItaShika pairing.

{Sai} You'd better not even THINK about writing one until you're done with "What You Want"

{T.W.} I said I want to see an ItaShika not write one, I've got too much on my fic plate already. Now back to Ch 352, I personally thought that the whole reason Sasuke was creating a platoon was kinda obvious wasn't it? And I have now finally formed an opinion of Juugo. I like him, when he's not all homicidal maniac he seems to be a rather nice person and I had a big Awww moment during his flashback about Kimimaro.

{Itachi} You're just saying that because you like Kimimaro.

{T.W.} That too. I do like Kimi-kun, I think he'd have been an excellent person to perhaps befriend Naruto. It's just too bad he died and that he was so devoted to Orochimaru.

{Sai} O.O You just called Kimimaro 'Kimi-kun' You never call a character by a nickname or a shortened form of their name unless you're trying to irritate them.

{T.W.} Well that's how much I like Kimi-kun. He's definately on my list of male Naruto characters I'm obsessed with. Though Itachi still tops that list.

{Itachi} Who else is on that list?

{T.W.} Tell you after the chapter. If anyone want me to let them know when I update, just ask in a review and leave your e-mail address if you're an anonymous reviewer and I'll put you on my AFF alert list.
Now on to the fic!

'thoughts'

Chapter 33 Honeymoon's Over
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Choji and Shikamaru were exiting a drugstore when they saw Sasuke following an obviously annoyed Naruto. Choji turned to Shikamaru, "I forgot they were coming back today."

Shikamaru's reply was interrupted by Naruto snarling at Sasuke, "You should have told me as soon as you noticed it, not waited until we were two miles away from Konoha!"

Sasuke muttered under his breath, "Sure and have you acting pissy for half our honeymoon."

"I heard that teme!"

Sasuke winced and continued following Naruto, trying to calm him down as the blond stalked towards Hokage Tower.

Shikamaru and Choji looked at each other and the Nara said, "I do not want to know why Naruto is so irritated."

Choji chuckled, "Considering who you and I are dating, we're going to find out whether we want to or not."

"Man what a drag."
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Tsunade looked up as Naruto stormed into her office followed by a uncharacteristically hesitant Sasuke. 'Looks like the honeymoon is over.' Naruto flopped down into a chair, "Hey Baa-chan."

She smilled, "Welcome back Naruto. What did Uchiha do to irritate you?"

Naruto blushed and glared at Sasuke, "You want to answer that teme."

The Uchiha grimaced, hearing the demand in Naruto's voice, "A couple miles away from Konoha I told him about something I had noticed during...an intimate moment. He's pissed because I didn't tell him sooner."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, "And what, pray tell, did you notice?"

Naruto answered that question, "He said that I have an extra opening between my balls and anus."

She blinked in surprise then, turned to look at Sasuke questioningly. The Uchiha squirmed a bit but nodded in affirmation and the Godaime 'hmm'ed and closed her eyes to contemplate that information. When she opened her eyes you could detect a slight gleam of amusement.

"I think I know what the extra oriface is but we'll wait until tomorrow's prenatal check-up to find out for sure. Now go home and relax since I know you two are tired after the trip back."

Naruto nodded sharply and stalked out of the office, closely followed by Sasuke, who was thinking about how to placate Naruto.
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Naruto slammed into the kitchen and began riffling through the fridge for something to nibble on. Sasuke watched from the doorway, "How long are you going to stay pissed off?"

Naruto pulled out an onigiri and turned to face the brunette, "Until you tell me why you didn't say anything sooner."

The Uchiha cursed under his breath, "I told you why already."

"And if that wasn't a huge pile of crap I don't knoe what is."

Sasuke slammed a fist against the doorjam in frustration, "What exactly do you want me to tell you damnit!"

"The truth!"

Suddenly Naruto swayed and brought a hand to his head, "Oh shit," and then he passed out.

Sasuke lept to catch the blond, "Naruto!"

The Uchiha scooped his usuratonkachi up in his arms and carried him to the living room, laying him on the couch.

Naruto opened his eyes to the concerned face of his husband, "Sasuke?"

He managed to sit up but Sasuke pushed him back down, "Don't get up just yet. You fainted."

Naruto was still feeling a little woozy so he laid back down without much of a fight. Sasuke brushed a few strands of blond hair aside, "I'm sorry."

"Huh? What for?"

"Upsetting you. If I hadn't pushed then you wouldn't have gotten so worked up and passed out."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Idiot. You didn't cause the fainting spell. I've been light headed all day and was sort of expecting it."

"Reguardless I shouldn't be upsetting you in your condition."

Naruto rose up on his elbows, "I'm a pregnant shinobi, not a spoiled princess for kami-sama's sake. I neither need nor want to be treated like spun glass and if you start I swear I'll show you just how unbreakable I am by kicking your ass teme."

Sasuke looked into the irritated, flushed face of his husband, "I've been acting like a twit haven't I?"

"How ever did you guess," Naruto's voice rang with sarcasm. The brunette sighed, manuvered so that Naruto was aleaning back against his chest, and wrapped his arms around the blond, "You still pissed at me?"

"Mmm not really. I was mostly moody cause I felt dizzy."

"Hn."

Naruto grinned and snuggled back against Sasuke, resting his hands on the barely noticable swelling of his abdomen. Sasuke slid his own hands down to join Naruto's. They fell asleep there on the couch, hands covering their unborn child.
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Tsunade watched Naruto's happy bouncing impatience with amusement, "Alright Naruto settle down and change into a hospital gown."

Naruto grabbed the gown and went into the bathroom to change. Tsunade looked at Sasuke, "I'm assuming he got over his snit?"

"Hn. He said he'd just felt moody."

"That would be the pregnancy hormones bouncing around, it'll get worse," she said cheerfully to Sasuke's dismay.

Naruto came crabwalking out of the bathroom, holding the back of the gown closed with one hand, "Baa-chan this thing shows my ass!"

She chuckled, "Well, they're designed for easy access not modesty. Now up on the exam table."

Naruto slid onto the table and Tsunade took his vital signs, noticing a slight wince when she listened to his heartbeat.

"Chest sore?"

"Yeah. Is that a bad thing?"

"No it just means your body is getting ready to develop breasts so you can nurse the baby."

"Great," he drawled sarcastically.

She chuckled and finished recording his vitals, "Okay now lay back so I can check out Sasuke's discovery."

Naruto tensed and squirmed uncomfortably but, before he could protest or complain, Sasuke whispered in his ear, "I know you feel uncomfortable but we need to know what is going on with your body, okay?"

Naruto grumbled but lay back and allowed Tsunade to examine his nether regions. When she finished, she marked something down on his medical record, "Well that's interesting."

"Interesting Baa-chan? What the heck is it?!"

"A birth canal."

Naruto's eyes bugged out, Sasuke nearly choked on air, and they both said, "WHAT!," at the same time.

"You've formed a birth canal or should I say that Kyuubi probably made it so you can give birth naturally."

Naruto groaned and let his head fall back, "Terrific. I wonder why the fuzzball did that."

"Probably because anesthisia doesn't work on you so C-section would be very painful."

"And natural birth isn't?"

"During a natural birth the body produces pain suppressing endorphins so, while it does hurt like hell, it doesn't hurt nearly as much as a C-section without anesthisia."

"Hmph."

Tsunade finished the examination and told Naruto to get dressed. While he was in the bathroom she eyed Sasuke. The brunette raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"I want you to watch what he eats. He needs to eat foods with a lots of protien, folic acid, and calcium and Naruto has never been known for healthy eating."

"Hn, he's not completely brainless. The only reason his past eating habits were so deplorable is because he was unable to buy healthy food."

She winced, remembering that until recently Naruto hadn't had access to proper nutrition.

"Never the less, I still want you to keep an eye on what he eats."

"Whatever."

Tsunade's eye twitched as she was asailed by the familiar desire to strangle the Uchiha heir. Before she could spew fire and brimstone at the brunette however, Naruto came out of the bathroom.

He walked over to stand next to Sasuke, "Is there anything else I need to know before we head home?"

She grabbed a sheaf of papers, "This is information about what to expect until your next appointment and on proper nutrition. I expect you to read all of it Naruto."

"Yeah I will Baa-chan, promise."

"Then that's all, you can go."

Naruto nudged Sasuke with a hip, "Oi teme, I'm hungry. Feed me?"

"Hn. Let's go."
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How was it? This chapter was originally longer with a scene in a restaurant with Sakura and a squishy SasuNaru scene at home but since neither was necessary to the story I decided not to put them in.

{Itachi} Will you answer my question already!

{T.W.} Sheeze, impatient much? Okay also on my list of Naruto characters I'm obsessed with...
Suigetsu, Kakashi, Gaara, Naruto, Neji, Sai, Haku, and Iruka
Happy now Itachi?

{Itachi} Hn(hefts a handcuffed and gagged Sai over his shoulder) We're leaving now.

{T.W.} Hmm? Whoa what are you wearing?!

{Itachi} All I did was take the cloak off.

{T.W.} O.O You mean that all you wear under that thing is a fishnet shirt and skin tight spandex pants?

{Itachi} Yes, it's easier to move in. Now can we go?

{T.W.} Yeah sure (watches Itachi walk out of the room and drools) Damn that man is so sexy it ought to be illegal(shakes head) Well Please review? Pretty please? With naked ItaSai on top? Ja ne!
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Hi just did a couple of edits is all. But I was seriously tempted to keep the typo that turned honeymoon into 'hineymoon'(snickers) I may have to put that in a later fic.