Almost Sucks

Almost Sucks
by Mashiro

Naruto fandom, series, no spoilers
AU, BOYS LOVE: Naruto x Sasuke, Kakashi x Iruka, Lee x Gaara

first version: August 5th 2006, Tuesday
second version: September 30th 2008, Tuesday

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DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the rights to the Naruto series or characters and I make no money writing this. I’m just a fan. This is fan fiction.

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33: One family, two trips

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Iruka had an aunt that lived half a day’s drive away, Sachiko-baachan. Sasuke found out about Sachiko-baachan’s existence not even a day before he was supposed to meet her. Naruto and Iruka had been over visiting Sasuke and Kakashi one Friday evening, two weeks after the eventful Thursday when Sasuke had first met Lee and Christmas came in October (at least in Naruto’s bed); two weeks after everyone’s relationships got thrown out in the open.

The Friday after the Thursday, Naruto had told Sasuke that Iruka had been hiding in the kitchen when Sasuke left and that he knew now. It had apparently been quite the showdown. Naruto had tried to make it sound like just a simple conversation but Sasuke wasn’t fooled and his suspicions were confirmed the next time he met Iruka. It would be unfair to say he was death glared, but Iruka’s eyes were highly disapproving beneath the cover of strained politeness. Kakashi had announced his knowledge of Sasuke and Naruto’s relationship the second Sasuke walked through the door that morning by cheerfully shouting ‘I hope you used condoms!’ from the kitchen. Stupid perverted bastard. When he came back from his shower and his change of clothes, Sasuke had been thoroughly bombarded with annoying and embarrassing questions and offers. ‘So how long have you two love birds been going out? Did anyone ever tell you about the birds and the bees? If not, I can do it. And I want you to know that I’m perfectly willing to supply you with condoms if it’s embarrassing to buy them yourself. Just let me know.’ Sasuke was just surprised the questions and offers hadn’t come earlier; he was sure that Kakashi had realized that something was going on weeks ago. The man wasn’t unintelligently stupid.

When the stupid questions had ended Kakashi had explained about Iruka; that they had met months ago and that he was one of the reasons they had moved here. They hadn’t wanted to say anything before they knew for sure that this was what they wanted, he had said, but now they knew. ‘I want us to spend our lives together,’ Kakashi had said; of course he had to pick the mushiest line possible. The seriousness had gone straight to Sasuke’s stomach, in a bad way, and put a whole different weight on what Naruto said a few hours later, after he had shared what had happened with Iruka in the kitchen. ‘Oh, and apparently he’s dating Kakashi-san.’

During the two weeks that had followed, Kakashi and Iruka (mostly Iruka) had made a big fuss about their serious relationship and the future combining of their two households. It had started with a big talk the Friday after the Thursday; Kakashi and Sasuke were invited over for dinner at Iruka and Naruto’s house. The parents had apologized for keeping their relationship a secret for so long and assured that it had only been because they felt it was for the best. They wanted to share now, however, and planned to combine their two households in the future. When Naruto brought up his and Sasuke’s relationship Iruka’s mouth had been pressed together in a thin line and he hadn’t even tried to hide his dislike. ‘We will leave that up to you,’ he had said in a tone that said ‘you’d better break up right now’. Naruto had equally shown his dislike toward Iruka’s dislike. ‘Good! We’ll be together forever!’ Sasuke’s stomach had swirled at the time frame, though more from ‘what is he saying...?’ than delight. It wasn’t that Sasuke wanted to break up; he just hadn’t thought about deciding how long they would be together. Forever was one hell of a long time.

‘Excellent,’ Iruka had gritted. ‘But if you’re not we will still want you to get along.’

‘We will!’

Sasuke was amazed he hadn’t heard the screaming that morning.

These days their two families spent a lot more time together; going shopping, having dinner, staying at each other’s houses until really late, looking in house ads. It was like they were rubbing it in. No, it wasn’t really ‘they’, it was more ‘he’. It had surprised Sasuke and he hated to admit that for once Kakashi was the lesser bastard, but mostly it was Iruka rubbing it in, even though he was supposed to be the mature adult. One day Kakashi and Sasuke, alone for a change, had had a talk and Kakashi had said that Iruka didn’t mean any harm. He was just worried and not entirely pleased with the arrangements. ‘Not entirely pleased’, that was funny. Kakashi had also asked Sasuke to try and keep civil, because apparently he’d started to get rude. Sasuke had sort of noticed that, but he couldn’t help it and why should he have to when the adults were acting like children half Sasuke’s age. He had told Kakashi to tell Iruka that he needed to grow up and stop acting like a five-year-old, but he doubted that Kakashi had forwarded the message.

Sasuke knew though that it wasn’t just Iruka acting like a child that bothered him. He would be lying if he said the future arrangements didn’t bother him at all; they did. He liked his family the way it was, two people who knew each other well enough and got along. Sasuke had no doubt that things would get chaotic and annoying if Iruka and Naruto moved in with them or if they moved in with Iruka and Naruto. Things had already become chaotic and annoying!

Naruto was enthusiastic and thrilled about the idea of them living together. He saw only the good things. They didn’t have to cross the street to get together, didn’t have to wake up alone and not meet until the bus ride to school, didn’t have to go home to sleep when it was too late to stay up any longer. Yes, in a way that seemed nice; but too much of all that together-time and Sasuke was sure he would go crazy. He needed his space and he needed his alone-time.

There would always be conflicts between people living so close together, no matter how much they cared for each other. Would Sasuke be expected to live in the same room as Naruto’s endless mess of things that had little or no purpose? There was no way, Sasuke would refuse. And how the hell would Iruka’s neat freak attitude go along with Kakashi’s ‘let’s drop it here for now and pick it up later’ mindset? What about the other stuff? The thought of having Iruka’s more often than not insane rules applied to his life made Sasuke cringe, as did the thought of discovering all the quirks and habits that both Iruka and Naruto were bound to have that would piss him off. Would Sasuke ever see bread that was not whole wheat again?

They hadn’t talked much about those practical things, but Sasuke knew that everything would change or be compromised. Like with the smoking. Apparently Sasuke was going to quit smoking. Kakashi said that they had both decided but Sasuke knew that that was bullshit. Iruka had decided and Kakashi hadn’t argued. Kakashi said that Sasuke should be grateful they let him gradually quit, cut down first before he stopped completely. Grateful? Come on! Like they could even decide if he was going to smoke or not. It was his life, his lungs, what did they care? ‘Sorry,’ Iruka had said without meaning it. ‘But you’re a minor. No smoking.’ Sasuke had never before been called a minor; it was insulting. He just couldn’t help but see a bundle of annoying things heading his way and really no good way to dodge it.

This weekend the ‘we’re a family now, deal with it!’ situation had brought forth the family trip to the relatives. It was one of those very basic family things that Sasuke had always treated like an accepted version of the plague. It was absolutely horrifying and no one could escape. Sasuke had been spared because neither he nor Kakashi had any relatives you could visit on a family trip. That was one of the reasons Sasuke liked their family; it was just the two of them. He wasn’t sure if Kakashi had relatives but no contact with them or if he didn’t have any relatives at all, but the result was the same. No stupid trips to visit anyone just because they were family; at least not like that.

Naruto didn’t have any relatives either. They hadn’t talked much about their childhoods, even after they started going out, but Sasuke knew that much. One particularly rainy Sunday morning, after a call from his shrink, Sasuke had told Naruto that he had spent a few years in a mental institution and moved from there to Kakashi’s place when he was eight. Naruto had told Sasuke that he had grown up in an orphanage and been adopted by Iruka when he was seven. They hadn’t said anything beyond that or asked to hear more, sort of a silent agreement. Sasuke hadn’t thought about Iruka though, and apparently he had relatives; that Sachiko-baachan.

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They were on the floor in Sasuke’s room; Sasuke was sitting cross-legged and Naruto was lying on his back with his head next to one of Sasuke’s knees. Sasuke was half-heartedly studying for a test they had next week and Naruto was distracting him. His gaze itched when it passed over Sasuke’s body and sometimes his fingers forgot themselves and started exploring Sasuke’s leg. They followed the seams of his pants, innocently at first, then bolder. Sasuke grunted a warning when it went too far and glared over his book. Naruto grinned lazily and said ‘sorry’ and settled for just watching again, until his fingers forgot themselves again. Sasuke had told him to study too but Naruto claimed it was Friday and inappropriate. ‘Besides, you’re here...’ he said. ‘Just watching is okay, right?’

They had decided to try and spend one evening together and not be all over each other. Part of the reason was Sasuke felt like an out of control pervert, or an addict, because they always ended up touching, kissing, touching a little more, kissing other places than the mouth, and so on. It always turned out that way. It couldn’t be healthy! It wasn’t particularly creative either; had to get boring eventually and then what would they do? What harm was there in finding other things to do together? And Sasuke didn’t want to feel like an out of control pervert or an addict.

Another part of the reason was that Iruka was downstairs and Sasuke was absolutely certain that he had hawk-ears focused on his room. The man had developed an uncanny ability to show up when the hands and the mouths started to wander and the clothes were being pushed aside; it would have been scary if it hadn’t been so embarrassing. And the few times that Iruka didn’t show up, Sasuke could always see in his eyes later that he knew exactly what they had been up to. He was sure that Kakashi also had a pretty good idea about what was going on, but he settled for just commenting afterwards, he didn’t have to go in and break them up (though he did like to exaggerate in his comments to annoy Sasuke and embarrass Naruto).

No, today they would have to try and restrain themselves. Iruka would not be given a reason to glare at Sasuke and more importantly, Sasuke would show himself that he was not a slave to his hormones or Naruto’s hands. He told himself that every time the fingers started tracing the seam of his pants again, sending shivers all over. ‘I’m not a slave, damn it!’ He spent much more time focusing on telling himself not to focus on Naruto than not focusing on Naruto. The itch from the blond watching him was distracting enough, but those damn fingers when they came... They chose slightly different paths every time so Sasuke never really knew where they would go; toward his feet or up his thigh, or under his thigh?

Sasuke wasn’t sure if Naruto really understood what he was doing, how much that simple touch affected Sasuke. Did he know how many times Sasuke had to reread how many sentences because his mind wandered to thinking of those fingers? It was hard to know with Naruto. Sometimes he looked so childish and so clueless that Sasuke wondered if he hadn’t been jerked off by some other guy, and the next day or the next moment his blue eyes twinkled with that look and Sasuke wondered if Naruto hadn’t planned out everything from the second they met, down to the smallest details, and if he didn’t know everything there was to know about them. Those moments had Sasuke’s heart beat faster.

After five or six or ten of the finger explorations of Sasuke’s leg, instead of finding another path Naruto grabbed a hold of Sasuke’s arm and quickly snatched the textbook away from him, dropping it out of reach. The look in Naruto’s eyes wasn’t entirely that of a cool planning-everything guy, but enough that Sasuke’s heart would notice. Or maybe it was just the touch of skin against skin when Naruto’s hand held Sasuke’s arm.

“Just one,” he said with an alluring smile from his place on the floor.

Sasuke tried to ignore his heart and glared halfheartedly.

“I’m studying.”

“You can’t study,” Naruto said. “I’m distracting you.”

“So stop distracting me,” Sasuke said and struggled against the corners of his lips that wanted to smile.

“Come on, just one…”

“There’s no such thing as just one with you.”

“That’s because you always want more and I can’t say no to you.”

Sasuke snorted but couldn’t hide his smile anymore. He shook his head.

“You’re so full of yourself.”

“Come on… Please?”

“I told you, not today.”

“Aww, don’t be like that,” Naruto said, begging. His hand had loosened its grip and fingers were making paths along the arm now, slowly, up to the elbow, down to the fingertips and back again. “They won’t hear a thing. Please? I really need one.”

Sasuke closed his eyes, couldn’t help himself, struggling against the tingles running through him. He really shouldn’t. They shouldn’t, they’d decided. Sasuke was not a Naruto-addict.

“One,” he muttered eventually and opened his eyes to find Naruto happily smiling.

“Yay.”

Sasuke felt manipulated, probably for a good reason. Then Naruto grabbed a hold of his face, pulled him down, and then they were kissing. Naruto’s lips were wet enough that he must have licked them when Sasuke wasn’t looking, and for a moment Sasuke was annoyed that the blond had predicted his submission so easily. Not a very long moment though, it had to be impossible to focus on something else while Naruto was kissing you.

Sasuke was still sitting cross-legged, so they couldn’t get all the closeness they usually had (of course, that was a good thing; just a good thing). Sasuke had to lean over to reach Naruto’s mouth. He rested his arms on Naruto’s chest to steady himself, his fingers playing with the blond strands of hair around Naruto’s face.

Naruto’s hands wandered down Sasuke’s neck, but there they split up; one taking the route to his back and one to his arm. The one that took the arm path stayed there, except for one short trip to Sasuke’s side, under the arm, tickling just long enough that it was pleasantly teasing. The other hand moved further. From the neck it went over the shoulder blades, down the back until it reached the waistline of Sasuke’s pants. For a long time it wandered along the borders there, hesitating, following the edge of the clothing, until it finally dared to boldly wander further and whisper softly over the fabric covering Sasuke’s ass. It was so soft that it was barely a touch at all.

The physical distance between hips and ass were laughable and Naruto had no problem handling Sasuke’s hips, but there was just something about the ass that was apparently quite special for the blond. And like with many other aspect of this part of their relationship, when Naruto got worked up about something or treated something special, Sasuke forgot all about his previous experiences and transformed into a virgin. Sasuke had had his ass touched more times than he could count. To a lot of guys that was the first place you grabbed onto when you started kissing, and of course, then there were the idiots that reasoned ‘everyone that looks good wants my hands on them’ (Sasuke had crushed a lot of noses because of such reasoning). Yeah, so Sasuke had a lot of experience of getting his ass groped; it shouldn’t be a big deal. But it was. The soft barely-a-touch-at-all sent tingles all over and Sasuke’s breath hitched.

At the end Naruto’s hands went back the way they had come, holding onto Sasuke’s head as they pulled apart. He was blushing, grinning and licking his lips; his eyes were glowing.

“Thank you,” he said.

Sasuke chuckled.

“You’re welcome,” he murmured.

Then came the sound of the steps, as always, of two horribly frustrating adults who couldn’t control their nosiness. Kakashi didn’t break them up when he was alone, but if both of them were there Iruka never came alone. Naruto’s grin turned to a disappointed and apologetic smile.

“Damn,” he said. “Sorry.”

Sasuke groaned.

“He thinks I’m corrupting you.”

Naruto laughed. He grabbed a hold of Sasuke and pulled himself up, nuzzling closer to Sasuke’s neck and ear.

“Aww, when it’s the other way around,” he said teasingly. Sasuke smiled and shook his head and muttered a ‘stupid,’ that had Naruto nip at his earlobe with his teeth in retaliation. The steps stopped outside the door and there was an energetic knock on the door. Iruka’s voice was strained and fake-cheerful.

“Hey, boys? We’re coming in.”

The ‘stop whatever it is that you’re doing right now!’ warning was so obvious he could have just said it. Both Sasuke and Naruto muttered a heavy ‘right’, in chorus. Then their eyes met and they quickly rearranged their legs to hide their budding arousals. Iruka was frowning as he stepped inside, looking around in the room as if to make sure they hadn’t been playing around with any weird sex toys or whatever. He made a disapproving sound and his frown deepened.

“It’s so dark,” he said, flicked on the light in the ceiling and threw them a fake smile. “How can you read in here? I thought you said you were going to study.”

The man had gotten so familiar with the house and so parenting it was pathetic.

“It’s not dark,” Sasuke said and met Iruka’s eyes. “You’re probably just old.”

He had read somewhere that you needed more light when you got old. The light on the wall had been more than enough for him. For half a second Iruka’s eyes narrowed, then the strained, fake smile was back.

“Compared to you, I suppose,” he said and shrugged. “But I’m sure not even kids can read from that distance.”

Iruka looked at the discarded textbook Sasuke had tried to read before Naruto stole it from him. It had landed too far away. Sasuke cursed on the inside.

“Ever heard of a break?” he glared.

Before Iruka could retaliate Kakashi stepped forward and grabbed his shoulders, looking slightly panicked (though Sasuke was sure it was faked; he probably loved this).

“Now now,” he said. “You guys were supposed to leave, weren’t you? Early morning and all that, right?”

Iruka sniffed, seemed to soften some.

“Yes,” he said. “Come on, Naruto. We have to get up early tomorrow. We’re going to visit Sachiko-baachan.”

“Sachiko-baachan?” Naruto sounded surprised, and a bit disappointed.

“Yes. We haven’t seen her in months. We’re staying over and will be home late on Sunday.”

“Aww,” Naruto whined. “Why? I wanna be with Sasuke!”

“Don’t worry about Sasuke,” Kakashi said cheerfully. “We’re going too!”

“You are?” Naruto almost shouted and straightened up quickly.

“We are?” Sasuke frowned and hoped someone was joking.

“Sachiko is my aunt,” Iruka explained. “She wants to meet my partner, and she wants to meet you too, Sasuke-kun.”

He was smiling again, though this time it was a little less fake, maybe not even fake at all; though no less unnerving.

“Yay!” Naruto exclaimed and threw both fists in the air.

-

An hour later Sasuke was in bed with the phone. He had showered, had his last smoke for the day and brushed his teeth. The phone beeped as he waited and considered a spontaneous migration to the city. They had to leave before seven in the morning tomorrow, Iruka had said, or they would be late (for what he hadn’t said). Stupid man planning stupid trips on the weekends; Sasuke couldn’t remember a Saturday or Sunday when he’d willingly gotten up before ten, he would be dead at seven! And he probably had to get up even earlier if he wanted to eat something before they left. He’d already packed the necessities. A new set of clothes, his CD player, a bunch of CDs, his ration of cigarettes. Stupid annoying ‘you’re a minor, no smoking’. Sasuke growled and scratched at the phone cord.

The phone made a sound and brought Sasuke from his thoughts and cord-scraping.

“Hey, Sasuke,” Shikamaru said.

“Hey,” Sasuke said and didn’t even try to hide his annoyance.

“How’s it going?”

“We’re going on a family trip.”

“Really? One of those…?”

“Yeah, one of those,” Sasuke interrupted, and then he sighed. “I’m seriously considering getting out of here.”

“When’s the trip?”

“Tomorrow morning. We’re leaving at seven.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. Ouch.”

When Shikamaru had heard about Sasuke getting together with Naruto he had said it was a good thing and congratulated Sasuke on acquiring his first real boyfriend. Very mature. Sasuke had groaned and said ‘shut up’. But his insides had filled with a nice warmth and he had smiled. There had been no teasing ‘I told you so’.

Shikamaru had heard all about the future new family arrangements too; from how Kakashi and Iruka apparently had been secretly dating for months, even before the move, to the new annoying cigarette rule.

“Where are you going?” Shikamaru asked.

“Iruka’s aunt. She lives half a day from here; apparently it’s even smaller than this place. We will be back on Sunday, in the middle of the night.”

“How’s the boyfriend?”

“He’s too damn excited,” Sasuke muttered.

“Oh...”

“About the trip!”

Shikamaru snickered.

The reason Sasuke had called Shikamaru wasn’t really the family trip. It wasn’t Naruto either, not like that, so the first minutes of talking were just to buy some time; because Sasuke was nervous. He hated it, but he was nervous. When they left the Naruto topic and talked about school, the weather, about new CDs that Sasuke hadn’t been able to buy yet and parties he hadn’t been able to go to, that was buying time too.

Eventually he ran out of things to say that could buy him more time. The chuckles of amusement that had followed Sasuke’s telling of Naruto’s attempt to make meat loaf died out and it was quiet. Time was up. An uncomfortable silence lasted for some moments while Sasuke chewed on his lower lip and fiddled with his sheets. Then he spoke.

“I want to bring Naruto this time.”

Because it was time for that, on top of all the other shit going on. A part of Sasuke wished he didn’t have to, but another knew he did.

“I thought so too,” Shikamaru said and he sighed but Sasuke he was just worried.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” Sasuke said. “But I want to. For some reason I can’t imagine doing it without him. Stupid, huh?”

“You’re not stupid.”

“I am sometimes.”

“Yeah, well… Not this time.”

“Alright,” Sasuke said, without being sarcastic; just accepting that he wasn’t stupid this time, because Shikamaru said so. His own mind couldn’t quite be trusted on this; it was confused and said both that he was and that he wasn’t.

“I’m thinking we’ll go next week. Take a day off school.”

“Yeah,” Shikamaru said. “Don’t worry, you will be fine.”

“Yeah,” Sasuke agreed even though his mind was still confused and didn’t know if he would be; fine. He sounded distant as he said it, couldn’t quite hear himself.

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