The Canalized River

A/N
at the end of the chapter

Chapter
Thirty-Four: The Dark Half

Inside,
Naruto found Juugo awake, preparing tea. The only member of Sasuke's
team he had not talked to yet, but he had been inside his mind.

Sasuke
had been right. Humans were not meant to see into each other's
hearts. Naruto felt rather embarrassed now.

“Hi”,
he said when Juugo looked up at him.

“Good
morning”, Juugo replied. “You are Sasuke's friend, aren't
you?”

“Yeah.
But I also have a name of my own, Uzumaki Naruto.”

Again
Sasuke's friend, Naruto thought. This is how his team has learnt to
think of me. This is how he has talked to them about me.

“Welcome,
Naruto”, Juugo said. “I am Juugo of the Scales. Won't you
come in and sit down?”

“Yeah,
thanks.” Naruto followed the invitation. “Shall I help
you prepare breakfast?”

“Not
yet. For now, it's just tea; with breakfast we'll wait until everyone
is awake.”

“It
will take them a while”, Naruto said, looking at Karin and
Suigetsu who were entangled into each other in their sleep, the
blankets down to their waists. “They did not sleep much last
night.” Sasuke and I did neither, he thought.

“Was
about time”, Juugo answered. “Just as it was time that
Sasuke picked you up.”

“Well,
sort of. I caught up with him while he was fighting Itachi.”

“So
Itachi at least has prevented him from running away from you again.
Who would have thought that he would ever do something helpful?”

“Well,
seems he did.”

What
kind of people were these, and what did they know? Juugo was even
worse than Karin and Suigestu.

“How
did it go? The fight I mean. Did you win?”

“It
was some kind of a draw. We got Itachi, but I am not sure whether we
killed him, and we did not get that raven guy. He got Sasuke with his
Mangekyou Sharingan. Sasuke's all right now, however.”

“I
know. He was with me in the night when my nightmares were worst.”

“You
had nightmares?” Naruto wondered. “We thought you were
unconscious.”

“I
have no memories of the time when I lost control. It's always been
like this. But then I did not regain consciousness, as I usually do,
but got stuck in my own mind with a lot of nightmares. I knew it were
nightmares and I tried to wake up and get out of them, but I only got
from one nightmare into the next one. Finally Sasuke was with me and
helped me out. What did happen when I lost control, anyway? I did not
kill anyone, did I?”

“Only
the leader of Akatsuk”, Naruto answered.

“I
am sorry. It should not have happened.”

“What?
I mean – he was our worst enemy. You did us a great service by
killing him.”

“It
should not have happened”, Juugo insisted. “Sasuke has
forbidden us to kill anyone, and he is right. One should not kill
just because it seems an easy way out of a difficult situation. It's
not ours to decide about other people's lives or deaths.”

“What
– but – he was the leader of Akatsuki! He was threatening
to kill us all! He was a danger to the entire world! He was evil!
Killing him was a good deed!”

“You
think so?”

“Yeah.
You fought to protect the people who are precious to you, and that's
a good thing. That's what I learnt in Konoha: There's nothing more
important than having people who are precious to you and to fight for
them. Sasuke taught me this as well when he was ready to sacrifice
his life for me.”

Juugo
thought a bit. “Still it was wrong”, he said. “I
should not have lost my mind. I am lucky that I broke down afterwards
and did not go berserk and turn on you.”

“Might
that have happened?”

“It
has happened before. This time at least I was able to stop myself.”

“You
might have died. You did not just stop yourself and break down, you
almost completely cut down the exchange of chakra between your head
and the rest of your body. Karin and Sasuke were really scared that
you might die, or remain in a coma for all your life.”

“Maybe
this would have been better. All my life I have only been a burden
and a danger to everyone. I was best off when I was shut away –
or if I were dead.”

“Don't
say that!” Naruto said, horrified by the abyss that opened in
front of his feet. So this had been the dark half of the kyuubi's
chakra. The light half had indeed been easy to deal with. Suddenly he
felt ashamed that he had only thought of himself when he had
complained about the restrictions put on him. Juugo's fate had been
far worse, and he only thought of the people he might have hurt.
Maybe he should have been ready to accept the measures that had to be
taken to protect Konoha from the kyuubi: Control his emotions,
control the kyuubi, accept banishment, imprisonment, even death. He
shuddered.

“Don't
say that”, he repeated. “I mean, I don't know you well”
- it's not true, he thought, I have seen the orchard, I might know
him better than a lot of people who have been with him for years - “I
don't know you well”, he said, “but I have seen how
Sasuke was worried, how Karin was worried, and Suigetsu was really
crazy because he thought that it was all Sasuke's fault because of
his refusing to meet me.”

He
could not help it: he began to cry. Juugo watched him confusedly, but
he accepted Naruto's outstretched hands.

“It's
okay”, he said, as if he had to comfort Naruto. “I mean,
Sasuke's with us. He can control it. He helped me out last night. You
were with us too, weren't you?”

“Yeah”,
Naruto answered, drying his tears. “I am sorry. I did not want
to intrude. It just happened.”

“It's
okay,” Juugo said again. “I mean, you helped out, didn't
you?”

“The
kyuubi did. It said that if I released it, it would help you get rid
of that dark chakra, and indeed it ate it all.”

“So
that's it”, Juugo said. “I have felt empty all morning,
without being hungry, and wondered what it might be... It's now gone
for good, isn't it?”

“I
think so.”

“Thank
you”, Juugo simply said.

“It's
okay, I mean, the kyuubi did it, not me, and Sasuke had to create the
connection. You can thank the kyuubi if you want, it's lying outside.
It won't hurt you.”

Juugo
hesitated for a moment, then he got up and went outside.

Xzanayu:
Thanks! They are both fine, and for the moment Naruto really does not
have much choice but to stay with Sasuke and his team. ;-)

lexjamandme:
What do you mean, babysteps? They have just met – only a few
hours ago! (Though I admit that compared to how fast they proceed
from first meet to hot sex in some other fanfics they are really slow
in my story.)

LadyRonin
and dkf: I got your reviews for chapter 33 only this morning and
will answer to with the next chapter.