What the New Year Brings

Chapter 34-The First Clue

There are many ways to show love. A touch. A whisper. A knowing look. If you are just an outsider, you may not give these "little" gestures much notice, passing them off as meaningless and insignificant, but given the right context, even outsiders will get a clue.

Looking out through the open carriage door, I continue to stare in shock at the exemplary scene playing out before me.

There's no kissing, no dramatic declarations of love. There is only a boy and a girl holding each other close, silently weeping.

From an outsider's point of view, they could just be best friends, heartbroken at the thought of never seeing each other again.

From an outsider's point of view, the way Hiraku and Shinri are acting can be seen as completely understandable...They did grow up together at the castle, after all.

From an outsider's point of view, the way they hold each other intimately close can be waved off as excusable...They're only saying goodbye.

I turn to look at Madam Shijimi's wide eyes and slightly agape mouth.

I hope she's seeing things from an outsider's point of view.

But just as human nature has us wanting one thing at the same time we want another, I equally hope that she gets a clue, if only to end this silly charade.

Looking at her, I can't help but wonder: Did she figure it out? Is she angry? Is she disappointed? Is she okay with this?

I really shouldn't care, but I do. I shouldn't be so invested in all this, but I am. It goes beyond the simple need to make things right for these people I've come to care about...It's something more insidiously selfish than that. I need to find out how things will turn out between Hiraku and Shinri so that I can somehow foresee how things will turn out between Kakashi and myself. Our relationships are so interchangeable, it could very well be Kakashi and myself out there instead, forced into parting ways simply because other people don't know how to tolerate a relationship as unconventional as ours.

And Madam Shijimi...Well, her reaction might as well be my own mother's. Despite what anyone else says or thinks, it's her words and reactions that carry the most weight and therefore, the heaviest blow.

And so, I look at Madam Shijimi now and wonder...and worry.

After a seemingly endless tense silence, Madam Shijimi finally makes her first move.

"So that's how it is," she says softly beside me.

Her eyes still locked on Hiraku and Shinri, Madam Shijimi quietly hands me Tora and slowly gets up from her seat, making her way towards the carriage door.

Out of respect and consideration, Kakashi lends her his hand. She takes it gratefully and carefully climbs down the carriage steps with his aid. As soon as her feet land safely on the ground, she tells him one last "Thank you" then proceeds to make her way towards Hiraku and Shinri in a calm, dignified manner. Somehow, this frightens Kakashi and me even more. Madam Shijimi is not a calm and dignified woman even if she is the daimyo's wife. She's an emotional wreck and if she's acting this way now, then it's merely the calm before the storm.

And when a storm hits, you want to be near the ones you love.

Getting up from my own seat, I gently place Tora upon it instead. Then, mirroring Madam Shijimi, I give Kakashi my hand and let him help me down from the carriage. Only this time, Kakashi doesn't release my hand nor do I release his. Instead, we stand side by side, hand in hand, both staring off into the distance, unsure and worried about what's going to happen next.

As if no one else exists in this place and time, Hiraku and Shinri slowly close the already small gap between them. This time, they no longer stand touching forehead to forehead. Instead, they hold each other as closely and tightly as possible, as if they couldn't possibly get close enough, Hiraku's face buried deep into Shinri's chest and Shinri's nose and mouth buried into Hiraku's raven-colored hair. With their eyes closed tightly shut, they've literally shut out the rest of the world around them.

Like a predator quietly making her way towards her prey, we all watch helplessly as Madam Shijimi closes the distance between herself and the two lovers.

I'm about to yell out a warning to Hiraku and Shinri when Kakashi stops me with a gentle "Don't, Sakura" and a shake of his head. I want to ask him "Why the hell not? She's going to kill them!" but all thoughts about questioning him fly out the window the instant he lifts up his hitai-ate, opens up his Sharingan eye, and continues to watch the scene playing out before us. Confused, but thinking he must know what he's doing, I promptly close my mouth and, like him, simply continue to watch.

Now Madam Shijimi is right in front of Hiraku and Shinri who still seem oblivious to her presence.

"Hiraku-chan?" Kakashi asks softly.

I look up at Kakashi, puzzled as to why he's saying her name, then it occurs to me why he revealed his Sharingan eye. From this distance we can't hear a word Madam Shijimi, Hiraku, or Shinri are saying, but with Kakashi's Sharingan, we can "hear" every word they say as he reads their lips. It isn't Kakashi calling Hiraku's name, it's Madam Shijimi. Kakashi is merely "translating."

"Mother!" Hiraku exclaims as she and Shinri quickly part.

"What's going on?" Madam Shijimi asks, looking from Hiraku to the stable boy and back again.

"I'm just saying goodbye." Hiraku answers, hastily wiping tears away from her eyes.

"I didn't realize you and the stable boy were so close." Madam Shijimi says tritely, folding her arms tightly across her chest.

"He's...my friend." Hiraku says meekly.

"I see. How did I not know about this?" Madam Shijimi asks coldly.

Hiraku and Shinri exchange a look and although he's obviously intimidated by the older woman in front of them, it's Shinri who answers.

"With all due respect, Shijimi-sama, we didn't think anyone would approve of a friendship between the daimyo's daughter and the hired help, so we kept our friendship secret."

"I see." Madam Shijimi repeats, her eyes shamelessly looking Shinri up and down in his humble peasant's clothes.

I lean my cheek against Kakashi's arm, instinctively seeking comfort from him. If Madam Shijimi is acting like this just because her daughter made friends with the stable boy, how much worse will her reaction be when she finds out that they're actually in love?!

Fully aware of her mother's scrutinizing gaze, Hiraku steps in front of Shinri as if to protect him.

"This is why I didn't tell you, Mother!" Hiraku says, the tears in her eyes no longer that of sadness, but anger.

"What? What am I doing?" Madam Shijimi asks, her eyes focusing on her daughter instead in surprise. Whether her surprise is caused by her stare-down suddenly being interrupted or by her daughter's sudden ferocity, I'm unsure.

"You're doing the same thing Daddy does...judging people for all the wrong reasons!"

"I wasn't-"

"Yes, you were, Mother! I wish you could've seen your face just now! The way you were looking at Shinri, you looked so...disgusted." Hiraku says, her own face screwing up in disgust at her mother's reaction. "And what for? Because he's dressed differently than us? Because he wasn't fortunate enough to be born into the same social class as us? It's so stupid and so wrong on so many levels!"

"Hiraku-chan..."

"And yet Shinri is the only one who's ever talked to me, hung out with me, and treated me as something other than the daimyo's untouchable daughter! He was genuinely my friend when everyone else just pretended to be! He was there for me at the times when even you and Daddy weren't!"

"Hiraku-chan..."

"He's my best friend, Mother! The only real friend I've ever had up at the castle, the only real friend I've had my entire life, and I love him!" Hiraku said, the words spilling out of her in a rush. The widening of her eyes made it evident that the last part was blurted out unintentionally, but by the way Hiraku quickly knitted her eyebrows back together again, we could all tell that she was going to stand by her confession no matter what the consequence.

In contrast, the eyes of everyone else around her still remained wide open in shock, mine included. I didn't think she had it in her. None of us did.

All eyes turned to Madam Shijimi, waiting for her reaction.

Madam Shijimi's hard gaze never left her daughter's face as she asked the young man behind her, "And you-" she hesitated, as if trying to remember the boy's name, "...Shinri-san, how do you feel?"

Seemingly affected by Hiraku's confidence, Shinri literally stepped out from Hiraku's shadow and said equally brave, "I'm in love with her, too, Shijimi-sama. I always have been."

Madam Shijimi looked from Shinri's resolute face to that of her daughter's in disbelief. "You do realize that this is a disappointment to a great deal of people, don't you? Not only are you backing out on your word to marry someone else, not only are you jeopardizing a solid treaty between two powerful countries, but you're also putting people's feelings and reputations on the line."

Hiraku returned her mother's hard gaze with that of her own. "It was never my intention to hurt anyone, Mother. I was completely set to go through with the marriage. In fact, it was Shinri who convinced me to go through with it in the first place. As much as it hurt us, we were willing to do it because we didn't want to hurt other people. And up until this point, I was sure that I'd be strong enough to go through with it, but I'm not. Just the thought of never seeing Shinri again or maybe seeing him again, but not being able to be with him again because I'm already married to somebody else...it makes it hard for me to breathe, it makes me want to cry, and it tears my heart up into a million different pieces that I know if I had to live the rest of my life without him, then the rest of my life wouldn't really be living, it would just be a lie! My heart aches for him, Mother. With all my heart and soul I love him. You say that what I'm doing is a disappointment to other people and that I'm hurting them in so many ways, but have you somehow forgotten about me, your own daughter? Did it ever occur to you how badly it would hurt and disappoint me to be forced to say goodbye to the only man I ever truly loved? How it would tear me up from the inside out to have to put everyone else's needs above that of my own heart?" Hiraku asked.

Madam Shijimi looked at her daughter's face now red and soaked with tears, shook her head in defeat, and murmured sadly to herself, "It's her turn to love..."

I gasped.

"What? What's wrong?" Kakashi asked, looking down at me in concern.

"I think...there's hope." I smiled up at him.

Kakashi continued to look down at me in confusion, but I merely whispered "Trust me" and gently squeezed his hand in mine. Then, I looked back out into the distance, prompting Kakashi to do the same.

We watched with held breath as Madam Shijimi stepped even closer to Hiraku, reached her hands out to her, and placed them on either side of her daughter's face.

"I haven't forgotten about you, Hiraku-chan. I couldn't if I wanted to. Because as difficult as it is for you to breathe, as hard as it makes you want to cry, as much as it tears your heart up inside to imagine the rest of your life without Shinri, it's nothing in comparison to how I feel about you! You are the one I love with all my heart and soul, Hiraku-chan! You are the one who makes my heart ache! From the minute I held you in my arms, you have always been the love of my life! I can't make you do anything, Hiraku-chan. You're a grown woman now and your life is your own. I'm not saying that this is going to be easy and I'm not saying you're off the hook. We're closer to Suna now than we are to Konoha, so you two aren't just going to run off into the sunset and live happily ever after. You have a lot of explaining to do and the least you can do, the responsible thing for you to do, is to face all the people this will effect. Your father is waiting for you in Suna. That was the 'important business' he had to attend to...to travel to Suna ahead of us and surprise you at your wedding." Madam Shijimi sighed, clearly disappointed at what was supposed to be. "But if your father gives you any trouble, any trouble at all, leave him to me. I'll be the one to deal with him." Madam Shijimi said fiercely and with that, she kissed her daughter gently on the forehead and gave Shinri a small smile before turning around and making her way back towards us.

Behind her, Hiraku and Shinri looked at each other in disbelief, then their lips slowly curved up into a smile that grew bigger and bigger until they were hugging each other and laughing together in sheer and utter joy.

"I don't believe it." Kakashi said, his one visible eye wide in shock as he continued to look out in the distance. "How did you know that that was going to happen? How did you know that there was still hope?"

"Because," I smile up at him pleased, "Madam Shijimi listened to me."

Kakashi turned his head to look down at me in disbelief.

"What the heck did you say to her to make her change her mind?"

"I told her that cats and daughters are the same." I said wryly.

"You're joking, right?" Kakashi asked incredulously.

But when I simply continued to smile up at him, indicating that it wasn't a lie, his eye grew even wider and then he burst out laughing.

"You're really something, Sakura. You do know that, right?" he asked, shaking his head and quickly ruffling my hair much the same way he used to when I was younger, but although the gesture was nostalgic and teasing, he made it clear that he hadn't forgotten how our relationship had changed by wrapping his arm around my shoulders, drawing me close against his side, and placing a tender, loving kiss on the top of my head. The significance of the gesture was not lost on me and it made me smile.

From the corner of my eye, I caught Naruto smiling at us with a relieved look on his face because, after all, there are many ways to show love and, given the right context, even outsiders will get a clue.

To be continued...