Disguised Curses

... I am amazed at what the mind will spit forth when properly inspired. I owe my thanks to mia bella, Katrin, for both helping me when I wanted to strangle this chapter and for providing insightful feedback over scenes. I love this story, and plan to see it through. There's still more coming, so hold tight for the ride!!

No effective warnings for this chapter... some usual attitude and some angsty emotion that I had to include. Neji does have feelings, after all.

 

 

Chapter 35

 

 

Neji knelt on the ground by the little lake he liked to call his, drawing deep lungfuls of the crisp spring air. He could feel Kimi's watchful eyes on him, but this was no longer a distraction. He could feel the otherness inside him, wrapped around his core and filling his body. He spread his arms and welcomed the change, urging it on as feathers pressed out along his skin, bones creaked ominously, and his mind tracked everything. It all felt different, the muscles and bones, how his body responded when he tried to move. He nearly landed chest first into the water, flapping his huge wings to over correct and hearing Kimi snicker at him from the side. He opened his bill and hissed.

“We're now past the thinking part. Now you act; walk, fly, and swim until you own that body. You need to know the swan's body inside and out before you can start the partial change.” It was a speech she remembered well, for all that the process was in reverse. She'd had to learn her human form before she could do anything with it. Being raised as a hawk left her with intimate instincts on flight, but not how to balance on two legs without a tail and wings.

He shuffled his feet in the tacky mud left after the snow melted, feeling the way his webbed feet suctioned slightly before lifting clear. Wings gave an entirely different feedback sensation than having arms, even though they responded in place when he made to lift an arm. His right wing spread, feathers fanning out automatically. The soft rush of air between his feathers sent shivers through his body, and he stretched both wings wide. Without the mild panic and automatic reaction that had kept him from diving into the lake, he could pay attention to how his wings felt. He could feel the way his feathers spread to catch the air, the twitch of his primaries, the pull of muscles that definitely weren't there before. He inhaled, felt the extra expansion of his lungs for flight, and narrowed his world down to everything inside his body. The sharp, faster beat of his heart, the awkward set of his hips and legs, the webbing of his feet. He tried to wiggle his toes, only to dig his nails into the mud. He moved, stepping to the side and got a whole new set of sensations. His tail. He turned his head to look, long neck easily letting him tip his head behind his wing and stare at his own rear.

He was never making jokes about Sasuke's haircut looking like a bird's backside, not even to himself. There was nothing flattering about his, and he glared at his tail hard enough to make it explode. Thankfully, his gaze didn't have the same effect as exploding tags, and his tail stayed in one piece, firmly attached to his body. He brought his head back around to the front with a soft snort, which wheezed through his nostrils noisily. He didn't have to look over to know Kimi was grinning madly at him. She was as bad as Naruto and Kiba about finding the weirdest things amusing. He ignored her and tried walking, closing the last step to the water's edge and into the biting cold water. It took a few steps before he was out of space to walk on, and he had to figure how to paddle his feet properly to move. Time consuming and completely irritating, but being on the water was strangely soothing. Must be a swan thing. It was almost as soothing as flying in Kimi's arms had been when they'd fought each other months ago.

He started paddling then, seriously driving his feet through the water and stretching his wings as far as they'd go. The traction built, and then he was trying to flap his wings and swim and it didn't feel right, like his body was trying to do more than his mind could keep up with, and that's when he started beating his wings. Furiously fanning the air, like his life depended getting into the air, on flying, like Kyuubi himself was on his trail.

He only registered his feet clearing the water, then suddenly there was air under his wings, ballooning him up. The thrill raced through his blood, the sheer over-zealous joy of finally flying under his own power invaded his mind. The whistle of wind precluded Kimi by an instant, the hawk rocketing past him from much further above, snapping out to bank and turn inches above the ground. She came back to circle him, and he stopped thinking and followed.

 

 

By the time they'd landed and Neji had shed all his feathers in favor of his human body, they were both exhausted, grinning madly, and doused in sweat. Neji left toward his rooms, noting as he passed one of the common rooms that Naruto was sitting with Hinata and his uncle. He caught the motion of Naruto glancing up, the flicker of Kyuubi in his eyes, and kept walking. Even the sharp sensation of a predator in his nest hadn't shattered the happy feelings that flying under his own power had given him.

He groaned slightly when he emerged from his shower to find Kimi sitting at his window, staring out with her sharp eyes. He'd spent far too much time around her to not tell when she was using the illusion of clothes instead of the real thing. “At least be properly dressed when you're in my room.” She spared him a silent glance, and he stared down at her. “I have an excuse. My shower, my room.” A towel kept his hair from dripping down his bare back and into his loose white pants. “Who are you watching, anyway?”

Kimi moved fractionally, offering him room to look out beside her. Hinata was walking along the pathways outside, Naruto stuck to her side. It was nothing new; they would often start or end their dates with some time here at the compound, while Naruto tried to prove he was a gentleman enough to Hiashi to woo his daughter. Neji wondered how long Naruto would keep up the effort. He knew from a lifetime of experience that Hiashi- sama was a difficult man to impress, even by people he liked.

“I don't see-” He started, but then Hinata and Naruto turned around, and he saw the handful of tawny fur in her hands. He immediately glanced at the cage in the corner of his room, empty. He'd have to take the little ermine in to Tsunade tomorrow morning. He sighed. “You may hate the 'morsel',” he borrowed the hawk's favorite term for the ermine. “But Naruto can protect her.”

Kimi turned her fierce golden eyes on him. They always seemed brighter when she was hungry, or angry. The tingle slipped down his spine at the look and he shoved the feeling away. “That morsel stays in your room while you sleep. What's to keep him from changing back and slitting your throat?” The argument had become common, and Neji shrugged in answer. He'd been monitoring the ermine's chakra himself, restrained by the collar but slowly building. He doubted the ermine would shift back anytime soon- the burn of chakra while wearing the collar would probably kill it before it could do anything nefarious. But he'd already explained all that, twice over. Kimi didn't need to hear it again.

“Are you worried for me?” He asked instead, watching as the couple outside continued on past. He'd meant it as a dry joke. He had every reason to believe she only followed him around because he hadn't finished teaching her the rotation technique. Just as she had not taught him the key to flying without changing all the way to his swan. That was the lesson he coveted, why he drew out her training until he could progress beyond just the change.

“You are a strong fighter, and proving to be capable as an avian. Losing you to that thing would be an insult I could not stand.” Neji didn't grace that with a response, merely sat back and started combing his fingers through his hair. He was starting to feel like a peeping idiot, watching his cousin wander through the yards with her date. Watching stirred troublesome thoughts about his own distinct lack of a lover, not that he hadn't had a few offers. There had been people, even his own teammates, with offers for hanging out and 'stress relief', as often termed. He'd preferred Kimi's blunt labeling of 'fuck buddies' better, if only because he knew that was all it could be. Finding someone who would be willing to accept all he was, be understanding enough to work with him and his instincts- that was the crumbling block in his life. He had to find someone he trusted with all this; he hadn't even confided in his team about the situation. The only ones that really knew the truth, were some key adults, Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata and her team, Shikamaru, and Gaara. He'd fought hard to keep his secret as close as possible.

He looked up at the window to catch a perfect view of Naruto leaning in to kiss Hinata, a chaste peck on her lips that sent rivaling pangs through Neji. The first, eww, my cousin, and then I need someone like that, when he saw the look of utter adoration they shared. He pushed away from the chair and retreated to the bathroom, where he didn't have to watch and realize what he was missing.

Kimi, for once, let him leave with the shreds of his dignity and composure, offering him the silent privacy he needed. When he emerged some time later, the prickling of predator fading to nothing and telling him Naruto had finally left, Kimi was long gone. He latched his door and window, noted Takeshi locked securely in his cage, and promptly lost himself to meditation.

 

 

 

The next morning Neji found himself with an armful of ermine, leash attached and looped over his arm. If there was any doubt of Takeshi being a 'normal' ermine or not, it could be erased by the way he watched warily from Neji's arms. The head never rose above the crook of Neji's elbow, but it swiveled and studied everything, eyes marking every turn, every person who approached Neji. Neji tested a random thought, and walked up the hall to Tsunade's office, not even pausing when he noticed the closed door, and continued beyond. Takeshi squeaked against his chest, nose pointing against his body back at the door Neji had 'missed'. And then his head tipped up, ears flattened against the tiny skull and a gods-awful hiss tore from his throat.

Neji promptly stopped, turning a pale-eyed glare down at his handful. Blunt fingers dug into the loose fur along the ermine's back, hauling him up until he was head-height. “You don't scare me. And if I ever think you're actually threatening me, I’ll turn your tiny hide over to whoever wants you first. Not because I'm weak or need the help, but because the others will do more creative things to you, feed upon your fears and instincts until you break. I would simply kill you, clean and blood-free.”

Takeshi tipped his head, studying him and weighing his words. He hung suspended from Neji's hand until he finally straightened his head and nodded. The jerky little motions looked weirdly cute on the brown body, nearly fully into its summer coat. Neji lowered the ermine, smoothing his fingers along the fur as he regressed to Tsunade's office. The chuunin at the door didn't question him, merely opened the door and waved him on.

Tsunade stood at her window, passing words with a rather pale, familiar face. Sai, Sasuke's temporary replacement on Team Seven during his defection. No one had seen much of the pale young man the past few months. Neji waited just inside the room as Tsunade handed over a small scroll to the other ninja, who immediately disappeared. “My apologies for disturbing you, Hokage- sama. I was let in.”

She settled in her chair and waved him forward, and Takeshi posed for her as Neji set him on the desk. He was looking better not that his molting was trying to finish, though his brown fur was still a little threadbare toward his hindquarters. “No disturbance. How has he been?” She didn't take her eyes off Takeshi, but offered him a hand to sniff. He glanced up at her before tipping his head, eventually lifting a paw to her hand in lieu of a greeting. He wasn't a dog, dammit. He didn't need to sniff hands.

“Takeshi has been behaving, perfectly neutral and even helpful. His chakra levels are still low, and the collar hasn't come off. It's not like he's gotten any chance to prove himself, either way.” Neji resisted the urge to stand at attention, regardless of the report-like quality of the meeting. He wasn't sure about his feelings for the ermine- trapped man, a mix of trepidation and hope, thickly laced with caution. Takeshi could truly be anyone, really.

Tsunade spent enough time to comb her fingers over the lean form, checking for the injuries Hinata had healed. She seemed satisfied, finally nudging the creature back toward Neji. “Get him some more protein, it will help his healing. Notify me of any changes, for yourself or him.” She waved Neji out, one hand already reaching for the pile of scrolls on the desk.

“Any missions for me?” He risked asking. Gai and Lee had left on another 'training expedition' for the hidden Lotus technique, leaving him and Tenten to find solitary missions or get grouped with other teams. Tsunade glanced up with something that looked like a glare, eyes flicking from him down to his handful. “I think he's enough of a mission until something comes up. Unless you'd like that to change?” He shook his head, willing to count this uneasy care-taking as a job, for now. He held Takeshi closer and left before she could change her mind about the options of the ermine's survival.

“You're getting to be troublesome,” he muttered, staring straight ahead as he descended through Hokage Tower. He met a snickering Kimi at the bottom. He glared.

“I should tell you how much like Shikamaru you sounded. 'So troublesome', indeed.” She flashed teeth in her grin, brown eyes laughing at his expense. He retaliated with a chakra laced strike into her shoulder, numbing her arm. She growled under her breath.

“He's not so troublesome I can't take you in a fair fight, hawk.”

“Ooh, joy. Bring it on.”

“No feathers.”

“Spoil-sport.”

“I said fair. Dropping me from a couple hundred feet isn't going to make me any better.”

“... It might make you faster.”

Neji paused, stock-still on the sidewalk. His pale eyes cut over to glare at Kimi, threatening with his gaze alone to freeze her in place. “No.” Finality rang in the word, no questions, no dare. He walked away, then, and a moment later Takeshi appeared on his shoulder. The ermine fluffed out and bared his teeth, body hugging Neji's neck protectively. Kimi frowned but resisted the urge to rip him off Neji. She'd prove soon enough that the little morsel couldn't be trusted.

**** ~~~ **** ~~~

 

Also, something I wanted to point out in case any of my readers were wondering about things possibly progressing too quickly- I don't always point out when I've done any sort of time skip, unless it's pretty major length of time and i *have* to point it out. if anyone has been paying attention, the last several chapters have actually been moving over a few months' worth of time. Naruto 'branded' Sasuke right as winter was about to set in (chapter 27), and this chapter takes place early spring, after initial thaw but before it's really started to warm up (mid-march, I'd imagine). I haven't made a point of showing the winter, I've been too focused on the characters to make the seasonal influences obvious. Yes, that means I (unintentionally) bypassed Christmas. Oh well. I'm not re-writing any of it just to include Christmas. Yes, I am working on the next chapter already. If my brain holds out y'all should have it *soon*.



To my solitary reviewer since my last update: THANK YOU! You've been a loyal reader, Djargo, and called some very close things on my plot. I appreciate it. ^^ Also, the whole reason I take so long to update is the same reason my story does have continuity- I will spend as much time debating my plot and actions and future consequences as I do actually writing the chapter. It may take longer, but I feel it's worth the extra effort to work the story like that. And do feel free to ask questions.. even if I don't answer them until that chapter comes around.