A Troublesome Series of Events

Sasuke cringed awake, the pain in his head waking him up. He blinked, stomach seizing before he turned to the side and felt the contents rise up, feeling like it was his own guts he was puking.

“Ah, eww. I don’t wanna clean that up...” He flinched, stomach still churning as the voice cut through his skull and straight to his brain.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and resisted cuffing Naruto. "Just get him to the bathroom," he said.

Naruto whined, the tone of it grinding Sasuke’s grey matter to a mush of pain. He groaned, feeling hands circle his waist and pull, succeeding in pushing more bile out of him.

“Aaaah, Shikaaaa, he won’t spot puking!”

Shikamaru sighed and took the Uchiha from Naruto with a soft grunt, carrying him fully and keeping pressure off of both their stomachs. "Start stripping the bed," he instructed before moving quickly to the bathroom and setting Sasuke down in front of the toilet.

Sasuke’s body lolled forward, arms resting on the bowl as his face listed forward. He didn’t feel anything else to throw up, but it didn’t stop his body from trying.

“Shika, is that what always happens?” Naruto asked, gingerly folding the blankets so he wouldn’t have a chance to touch the vomit.

Shikamaru rubbed his back for a second before standing up and searching through the medicine cabinet. "If you get as drunk as Sasuke did, yeah," he said as he pulled out a clear bottle of pills. He knelt down again and put one of them against his lips.

"Take this and try not to puke anymore," he said.

“Didn’t Chouji say to eat?” Naruto said after tossing the dirty material into the wash and wrinkling his nose. He looked into the bathroom, feeling a wash of sympathy as Sasuke kneeled, looking miserable in front of the toilet.

“...I had the rice... right?” Sasuke croaked, not sure if he’d actually done it or if it was something he’d done a different time and he just thought he had last night. He closed his eyes, head pulsing and complaining about thinking too much.

Shikamaru nodded. "You did, but you also had nearly half a bottle of sake in ten minutes," he said. "You'd still be this affected by it."

Sasuke rested his forehead on the rim, trying to breath and will the pulsing from his head.

“Do you remember anything from last night?” Naruto asked, grinning. Sasuke flinched from his voice and rocked his shoulders, unwilling to move his head.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Leave him be for half an hour, Naruto, then the medicine I gave him will kick in, he won't have a hangover and you can bug him all you want."

Naruto pouted but nodded, leaving the bathroom and calling over his shoulder.

“Alriiiiight, I’ll leave him alone. But only ‘cause he loves me.” He snickered at the end.

Shikamaru let out a soft snort and shook his head. He looked down at Sasuke, lips curving slightly. "Do you want anything?" he asked.

Several things ran through Sasuke’s head, each chased by pain. He winced, rocking again, just willing his body to absorb the pill faster and get rid of the pain.

Shikamaru sighed, feeling a little pity for the Uchiha, though most of it had been used up on his father with these sorts of things over the years. It was their own fault for wanting to get piss-drunk so they should take the consequences with it.

“Shikaaaaaaa,” Naruto whispered loudly, peeking into the bathroom again. “I’m booooooooored. Come plaaaaaay with me.”

Rolling his eyes again, Shikamaru turned and walked out, pushing Naruto with him. There wasn't anything he could do for Sasuke now anyway.

Naruto grinned, moving along down the hallway. “Let’s play some video games.”

Shikamaru swallowed back a groan and shook his head. "How about we eat something first?" he suggested.

Naruto pouted at him, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Fine, fine, what do you wanna eat?”

Shikamaru chuckled and leaned over, kissing his pouting lip. "Ramen's fine."

Naruto perked up, grinning widely and turning away, moving into the kitchen. He pulled two cups out, putting them on the counter as he got a pot out for the water.

“Ramen ramen ramen!”

Shikamaru shook his head in amusement, grinning a little himself as he sat down at the table, just watching the blond.

Naruto hummed his favorite word, waiting almost anxiously for the water to boil. When it did he nearly gave a cheer, quickly pouring it into the cups and turning off the burner, heading out to the table.

“Food is cooking!” He exclaimed as he sat down, putting Shikamaru’s in front of him.

Shikamaru's lips twitched and he rolled his eyes slightly before getting up and bringing over two pairs of chopsticks, sitting down again. He handed Naruto one, keeping the other for himself, waiting a couple more minutes before lazily starting to slurp up the noodles.

Naruto stuck his tongue out, inhaling his noodles as soon as they were more squishy then crunchy.

“So Sasuke just,” he paused to slurp up another huge mouthful, “confessed his love for us and tipped over?”

Shikamaru snorted at how simple Naruto had mapped it out but he nodded. "Pretty much. There was a couple other things he said he loved but," he shrugged, going back to eating.

Naruto smacked his lips happily, licking them and setting his cup down. Delicious.

“So what else did he love?”

Shikamaru smirked, chuckling softly. "Well there was the tomatoes," he started, thinking back, "and sleeping. And... he said he liked being tied up and topped, but I'm not too sure about that one."

Naruto burst out laughing, tears welling in the corners of his eyes.

“The Teme likes being tied up and to bottom? Oh, I’m so gunna tell him! Haha, maybe next time he’ll want some cuffs!”

Shikamaru's smirk widened and he shook his head. "Just don't make him pissed," he said, amused.

“Maaaaan, shoulda gone in with you. That woulda been priceless. Sasuke all slurring and gropey.” He wriggled his fingers. “‘I luvsh you Shhhhhika!’"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes but his expression still didn't dim. "Just eat more ramen."

“I’d have to make more.” Naruto got up, moving into the kitchen to do just that. “I thought alcohol made you suck in bed, not confess.” He called as he poured water into the pot again.

Shikamaru moved closer to the kitchen as he slurped up more noodles, not wanting to yell. "Alcohol lowers your abilities, both physical and mental," he said. "Get as drunk as he did and you'd have no inhibitions, no secrets."

“Wait, then he was telling the truth?” Naruto asked, tilting his head in confusion. “I thought you said it wasn’t true.”

Shikamaru shook his head. "I said I wasn't sure," he corrected. "Orochimaru conditioned him to like it during those years. He may like it physically, but I don't know about emotionally and mentally."

Naruto’s mood dipped at the name and reasoning, sobering up quickly and watching the water. He hadn’t even thought about... those kinds of things. He didn’t feel so enthusiastically hungry, but he still added the water to his ramen when it boiled.

“So... how do we tell what he likes emotionally?”

"We just have to trust him to tell us when he doesn't like something," Shikamaru said with a small shrug, not really happy about it either but there wasn't anything they could do.

Naruto snorted. “That’ll happen the day you volunteer to work.”

Shikamaru smirked slightly. "He is opening up more," he said. "And if he really fights against something, we obviously know he doesn't like it."

“Yeah, but that’s you reading his mind not him telling us,” Naruto said, testing the noodles. Still a little crunchy.

Shikamaru sighed and moved further into the kitchen to throw away the cup when he finished. "As long as we know, I guess," he said, shrugging slightly.

Naruto shrugged, grunting as the noodles finally softened and he began mechanically slurping them up.

“Uhhh...” Naruto turned at the soft groaning, seeing the object of their discussion shambling zombie-like to the dining table. He sat down abruptly, leaning forward. “Water...”

Shikamaru glanced over and held back his laughter as he moved to get a glass of water for him. He set it down in front of him, sitting back down.

“So, Sasuke...” Naruto said as he watched the other tip his head just enough to allow the water into his mouth.

“Shut up. Your voice hurts.”

Shikamaru quirked an eyebrow. "The pill should be taking care of any headache too," he said. "My dad made it for when he went out drinking."

“Then I guess I’m just not in the mood,” Sasuke griped, drinking more water.

Naruto scowled at him, putting the half finished ramen down. “Listen Teme, it’s not my fault you got drunk!”

Sasuke glared through his bangs, not lifting his head or replying.

Shikamaru sighed, knowing this wouldn't lead to anything pleasant if he didn't stop it. "Think you can stomach anything?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

“Shouldn’t the pill you gave me allow me to?” Sasuke said peevishly, not enjoying all the talking despite how it was waking him up from the bleary hangover state.

Naruto huffed, picking up the ramen and eating it with a pout.

Shikamaru frowned, forcefully pushing back his irritation. "If you still have a headache, then I'm not sure," he said. "It's supposed to completely absorb all the alcohol in your system."

“...Well it’s getting better,” Sasuke relented. Naruto snorted, giving him an 'I-told-you-so' look when Sasuke glared. The Uchiha glared harder.

“What? Shikamaru’s always right, why deny anything he says?”

Shikamaru sighed, not bothering to tell Naruto otherwise. He probably wouldn't believe it, which would end up nulling the blond's point, but still. "So is there anything you want to eat then?" he asked, trying to steer the conversation back to non-threatening territory.

Several things ran through his mind at that, surprisingly enough some of them sweet. He shook his head, discarding the thought of ice cream.

“Tomatoes.” Comfort food sounded good. He glared as Naruto snickered, about to get up and smack him if the blond didn’t quit it.

Shikamaru smirked but nodded and got up, taking out a tomato, a knife and a plate, bringing them back over to the table. He sat down once again, sliding them over to Sasuke. "You want it any other way, you'll have to do it."

Sasuke raised a brow, lifting the fruit up and eating it like an apple.

Naruto blanched, giving him a grossed out look. “How can you do that?!”

Shikamaru snorted, looking over at Naruto. "Your eating habits aren't much better, you know," he said.

“There’s nothing weird about eating ramen!” Naruto defended hotly, pouting.

"Eating it a few times every day is, though," he pointed out. “Shouldn’t you be eating for two now, Shikamaru?” Sasuke asked, finishing off his tomato and ignoring Naruto’s sounds of disgust as he licked the juice off his fingers.

Shikamaru sighed and reluctantly nodded. He knew he should eat more, but he wasn't too hungry and he didn't think he'd lost any weight for anything to be dangerous.

“Shika, I can make you more ramen,” Naruto offered.

Sasuke scoffed, “Ramen isn’t very healthy Naruto.”

Resisting the want to roll his eyes, Shikamaru shook his head as he stood up. "I'll just make something myself, it's fine," he said.

“You’re not very loving, teme.” Naruto grumbled, glaring at him.

Sasuke glared back. “When did I ever say I was?”

“Last night!”

Sasuke’s eyes widened, before narrowing. “I did not.”

“Yeah huh! Even ask Shikamaru!” Naruto said smugly, smirking at the pale boy.

Shikamaru's eyebrow twitched as he got out what he needed to make an omelette for himself. He didn't want to force anything on the Uchiha if he wasn't ready but he knew that Sasuke would take the bait and he'd be pulled into the conversation.

“Shikamaru, did I say that?” Sasuke asked through gritted teeth, not taking his eyes off of Naruto. The blond only smirked wider.

Shikamaru sighed as he cracked the eggs into a bowl and started beating them before pouring it into the now hot pan.

"...Yes."

“HA! I told you so! Tooooold you! Toldyoutoldyoutoldyou!” Naruto cheered, pointing at Sasuke and chanting obnoxiously.

Sasuke scowled, blushing a little and standing up. “Shut up you moron!”

Naruto stuck his tongue out, grinning. “Aww, you’re blushing!”

Sasuke growled, neck tightening and the small hairs rising. “Shut up or I’ll cut your tongue out!”

“You love me and my tongue too much for that.” Sasuke was on him in a flash, his punches just barely blocked by Naruto, some connecting even then.

Shikamaru scowled, turning around and glaring at his two lovers. "Will you two idiots stop?" he snapped.

Naruto scrambled to get away, Sasuke’s hands finally getting caught in his. He slipped his hold down to the Uchiha’s wrist, panting a little as Sasuke glared daggers at him.

“He started it! You saw!”

Sasuke glared somehow harder, jerking on his wrists before sweeping Naruto’s legs, letting the blond fall harshly to the floor before pinning him. “You wouldn’t shut your stupid mouth!” Sasuke accused, sitting back and holding Naruto with his weight. The blond struggled, coughing indignant denials.

Shikamaru rubbed his temples, giving them both a half-hearted glare before turning around again and turning over the eggs so they wouldn't burn.

Sasuke glared, pressing back even more and making Naruto whimper, his weight pushing on his groin. He moved his knees up, pressing to the sides of Naruto’s stomach and leaning his weight forward. Naruto made a choking, gagging sound, feeling his stomach contents get squeezed towards the top of his stomach and some bile rush up his throat.

“Shika, heeeeelp!” Naruto nearly squealed as it became increasingly harder to not throw up the ramen he’d just eaten.

Damnit, couldn't they get along outside of sex? Maybe he really should send one of them to help Kurenai and switch every other day. Shikamaru strode over and gripped the back of Sasuke's shirt, bodily tugging him off of the blond.

Naruto gasped, swallowing the swash of food at the back of his throat, shuddering as he felt a noodle tickle his tongue a little.

Sasuke pulled away from Shikamaru, huffing as he stalked away without a word.

Shikamaru frowned as he watched his back for a second before sighing and looking down at Naruto, helping him to his feet carefully. He could talk with the Uchiha later. "You okay?"

“Yeah, yeah... What got into him?” He said, pursing his lips in Sasuke’s direction.

Shikamaru shook his head, sighing. "Dunno. Too many nice emotions?" he joked half-heartedly, going back over and turning the stove off.

Naruto crinkled his nose, snorting. “He just can’t take being teased when I’m right.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes as he put the eggs on a plate, even if he definitely wasn't hungry now. "You didn't have to gloat either, you know," he pointed out.

“Well, what’s wrong with saying I love you? I love you. I loooove you. Lovelovelove. You. See?” Naruto scoffed, sitting down at the table again.

Shikamaru frowned a little and moved to sit next to him, putting the plate in front of himself. "You know Sasuke better than anyone, Naruto," he said. "Do you think it would be easy for him to say it so casually?"

“I don’t know him better than anyone. I know him worse,” Naruto said, leaning back. “I couldn’t predict what he was going to do to save my life. Literally.”

Shikamaru looked at Naruto before shaking his head a little and taking a bite of the eggs.

“What? It’s true. I never thought he’d leave Konoha, or that he’d really try to kill me. I never thought he’d willingly come back. I never thought he’d like me back, I never thought he’d like anyone. I don’t know him any better than you.”

Shikamaru sighed. "I suppose you're right," he said. "But you can't deny that you've been the closest to him for the longest."

“I’m not denying that. I just was saying that even then I don’t know him. It’s, like, his thing. Gotta be all mysterious and unpredictable.”

Shikamaru snorted, lips curling into a smirk as he nodded. That was definitely true.

“But still it shouldn’t be so hard to say...” Naruto said, pursing his lips.

"If you think about his whole life, it's not that surprising," Shikamaru said, picking idly at his food now.

“Wouldn’t that make it less... okay, so it should be hard to say but once it’s said wouldn’t it be more alright? ‘Cause we’re not family and he knows we love him back and all that.” He licked his lips. “And he didn’t have to try and squeeze my breakfast out my throat for teasing him.”

"It's different when saying it drunk. But you're right, he shouldn't have done that."

Naruto cocked his head. “Well, it wasn’t that bad. You don’t need to go all shaking a finger at him or anything. We’ve done stuff like that since we were genin. Like, one time, I put a whole bunch of bugs in his clothing when we went to a hot spring. I was hoping he’d scream but instead he made me eat half of them...”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes before giving Naruto a deadpan look. "I'm not going to scold him about it. We're too old for things like that, even if I felt doing that," he said. "And I know you guys had, have, whatever, that weird rivalry."

“It’s not weird! I just gotta prove I’m better than him to him. He keeps denying it.”

Shikamaru smirked, shaking his head a little in amusement. He doubted those two would ever change about that.

“Is that all you’re gunna eat?” Naruto asked, pointing to the plate as the topic died.

Shikamaru shrugged, glancing down at the food before looking up at Naruto. "Not that hungry."

“Doesn’t the baby steal your food? That can’t be enough for two people.”

"It isn't," he said, agreeing. "That's why I'm trying to eat more."

“You normally eat less than that?” Naruto said, shocked. One cup of ramen was a snack, not a meal!

Shikamaru's lips twitched slightly. "Not everyone packs away food like you do, Naruto," he said.

“But you’re a ninja! You need more food so you can do cool ninja stuff!”

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "I manage fine," he said. "It's not like I'm starving myself."

Naruto cringed at the thought of eating so little. It seemed like starvation to him. “Well try to eat even more. Maybe that’s why you’re so lazy. Not enough energy.” He pursed his lips again.

"Eating too much makes you lethargic," Shikamaru said. "More so than eating too little." He smirked a little, leaning over and giving him a quick peck before eating another bite of egg. "And I am trying to eat more."

“Good.” Naruto grinned. “But feeding you myself would have been fun too.”

Shikamaru's smirk widened. "I might take you up on that some other time," he said.

“You know it wouldn’t stay that way,” Naruto said with a smirk, licking his lips.

"Down boy," he said with a chuckle. "Not right now. Maybe after I eat you can make sure I'm full."

Naruto grinned widely, giving Shikamaru a low lidded look. “Aww, you’re gunna make me wait?”

"Mm, for a few minutes," Shikamaru said with a smirk before starting to eat the food in front of him again.

Naruto laughed, smiling at Shikamaru and shaking his head. “You tease. You weren’t even gunna eat that earlier.”

Shikamaru just shrugged, smirk widening.

Naruto waited a few seconds before grinning.

“Why wait? I can enjoy you while you eat.” He slid out from his chair, grin only widening.