Into the Fire

Chapter Thirty-Six

Jiraiya retreated to the kitchen, turning on the radio and running the water before slumping disconsolately in a hard backed chair and covering his ears with his hands . . . all in a futile attempt to block out the sounds currently filtering out of Orochimaru’s bedroom. Do they have to be so damn loud about it, he wondered idly, haven’t they ever heard of discretion?

Obviously not, he decided with a wince at a particularly enthusiastic warbling of the copy-nin’s name, maybe I should go look around. He wandered out into the hall, following the maze of passageways, idly opening random doors and peering inside in an attempt to gain some sense of his bearings in the underground complex.

He threw open yet another door, expecting to find another empty room . . . so he was shocked, to say the least, to find the doorway blocked by Kisame’s large frame. “What do you want?” the Mist nin rumbled threateningly.

“Nothing?” the sage replied, obviously taken off guard.

“Good, ‘tachi finally got to sleep.” the swordsman replied, “So, what are you doing here?”

“Apparently Kakashi is banging my former teammate . . . quite enthusiastically if I were to judge from the noise level.” Jiraiya grouched, “I’m just trying to get out of earshot.”

“Thanks for sharing. I meant here in the complex . . . not at my door.” Kisame grumbled, “Do you always take everything so literally?”

“Sorry . . . it’s been a rough day.” the toad sage remarked wryly, “I’m here because Kakashi asked me to come, although apparently it was only so he could push my buttons. What is going on between the two of them anyway . . . and why are you here?”

“We’re here for the same reason you are . . . Kakashi sent for us. Itachi couldn’t say no to his request. As for what’s going on between them, as you so quaintly put it, they say it’s love . . . who am I to argue?” the swordsman explained with a shrug.

“Itachi . . . you don’t mean Uchiha Itachi, do you?” Jiraiya inquired suspiciously.

“Yes, why?” Kisame responded, puzzled by the sage’s reaction.

“My nephew seems to have a thing for traitors.” the sannin snapped irritably, “I can’t believe he’s cozying up to that clan murdering bastard.”

“Watch what you say old man.” the Mist nin growled angrily, “You obviously don’t know the circumstances . . . it’s not my story to tell, but if you hurt Itachi I’ll rip you to pieces. It’s been good for him, being here.” he continued haltingly, “Hatake-san and Orochimaru-sama have helped him find some measure of peace . . . I won’t let you rip that away from him.”

“No one will be taking anything from Itachi.” the copy-nin interjected hoarsely, “You have nothing to fear Kisame, I give you my word.” The swordsman inclined his head in acknowledgment, turning to go back in when the slightly raspy voice continued, “How is he this evening?”

“He’s doing much better Hatake-san, thank you for your concern.” Kisame said with a bow, “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go check on him.”

“We’ll see you in the morning then.” Kakashi said with a smile, even as he clamped strong fingers on the toad sage’s shoulder, effectively preventing him from escaping. “What were you thinking?” he hissed angrily as soon as the door had closed, “Do you want to die?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jiraiya bellowed, anger rising when a hand clamped firmly over his mouth.

“Not so loud, you’ll wake Itachi.” the copy-nin warned, eyes narrowing as he glared at the white maned man.

“Who the fuck cares?” the toad sage bellowed again, only to have the hand shoved deeper into his open mouth, sealing it shut. “Who do you think you are?” he screamed ineffectively around the barrier as the jounin watched him with lazy disdain.

“How you got to be legendary is beyond me.” Kakashi remarked idly, “Stupid and stubborn . . . you obviously coasted on your teammate’s coat tails, I can’t believe Sensei looked up to you.”

“I . . . the white maned man began loudly, only to be interrupted.

“. . . am the great toad sage Jiraiya, blah, blah.” the copy-nin sneered, “You talk a good game, but all I’ve ever seen you do is drink and spy on women . . . not very successfully, I might add.”

“That’s camouflage.” the older man retorted huffily, “People think I’m not paying attention to anything but pretty girls, I pick up lots of valuable intelligence that way.”

“I doubt anything you’re involved with could be labeled intelligence.” Kakashi sneered haughtily, “Obviously you’re from the inbred portion of the clan.”

“Okay, I get it, I’m not your favorite person . . . so why did you ask me here in the first place? You can’t possibly have thought I’d go along with this . . .” Jiraiya waved his hands in the air when he failed to come up with a word to describe the situation.

“To tell you the truth I had no idea . . . after all, Tsunade was in cahoots with Oro-sama for years . . . and she had you trained better than any of my nin-ken.” The copy-nin observed the sputtering sage through half-lidded eyes for a moment before continuing, “However it really doesn’t matter if you like the situation or not . . . I asked you here so you could make amends for the lousy way you treated Orochimaru all those years ago. If you have any decency at all you’ll get down on your knees and beg his forgiveness.”

“And if I don’t?” Jiraiya snarled.

“I imagine I could force you to do as I ask.” Kakashi replied as he idly gathered chakra in his hand, “But I’d rather not.” he concluded as he let the attack dissipate, “I’d like to think you have a decent heart in there somewhere and you want to do it.”

“And what, exactly, is it that I did that was so horrible?” the toad sage barked.

“Orochimaru was in love with you, you stupid idiot, and when he tried to confide in you about Sarutobi you told him he was sick, disgusting, perverted . . . he never did have the courage to tell you how he felt about your worthless ass. Why did you think he left the village so suddenly?” the copy-nin asked pointedly.

“I was a teenager, I’d never even considered the idea of two men together . . . what he was describing was just sick.” Jiraiya replied with a frown, “I still don’t see the attraction . . . although I have to admit it seems a lot more common than I thought.”

“What better lover for a man than another man?” Kakashi asked quietly, “Who else knows what feels good . . . where to touch, how to touch? Who else is strong enough that you don’t have to hold back?”

“You just don’t know any better.” the white maned man declared firmly. He pursed his lips and studied the slouching figure carefully, “You know . . . I’m sure I could fix you up with some girls who would show you a good time . . . give you a little experience, if you know what I mean.” he concluded with a wink and a leer.

“No thank you.” the copy-nin replied firmly, “Not interested. I’m perfectly content with my choice in lovers . . . you’re the one who has the problem. Maybe I should fix you up with a nice hot guy who can give you some experience.”

The toad summoner paled at the thought, hastily shaking his head and waving his hands. “No, no, don’t trouble yourself.” he demurred, “I’m just fine, thank you.”

“So . . . what do I do with you then?” the copy-nin asked rhetorically. “You don’t seem inclined to make amends . . . and you certainly don’t seem happy to claim me as a family member . . . this was a mistake.” he finally decided, “You should just go back to Konoha. Tell Ibiki it won’t be long now and I’ll be home.”

“Wait just a minute.” Jiraiya barked, rounding on the startled jounin, “You can’t just dismiss me like that. I’m not some lackey you can summon on your whim.”

Kakashi grabbed the sannin’s shirt and yanked him forward so they were nose to nose. “Listen ‘Uncle’,” he sneered, “I asked you here for a reason . . . one which I made perfectly clear in my invitation. It appears you have no intention of doing as I asked, and I won’t allow you to ruin the time Oro has left. So either put up . . . or get the fuck out.” he declared as he dropped his hold and turned to leave, stopping to add sullenly, “I’ll send someone to show you to a room for tonight . . . I expect you to be gone in the morning.”

The Rokudaime Hokage was currently bent over double, holding his sides as he succumbed to gales of laughter. “No more Gen, no more.” he gasped, “You’re going to kill me.”

“Oh but Ru, you haven’t heard the best part.” the honey-haired man continued animatedly, intent on acting out every moment of his visit to Ibiki’s house to check on his recuperation. “Gai insisted on carrying Ibiki to the table for tea . . . only he misjudged the distance and missed the chair and dumped him on the floor. It wouldn’t have been so bad,” Genma choked out past his tears of laughter, “if only Ibiki hadn’t tried to grab hold of the table. You should have seen it Ru . . . I’ve never seen anyone turn that shade of red.”

“Ibiki didn’t hurt himself, did he?” Iruka asked with concern.

“Not really, he hit his head pretty hard, I must admit . . . and he probably got a few burns when the teapot smashed on his chest . . . maybe some bruises from the table. It’ll be okay though.” the senbon sucker concluded.

“What makes you say that?” the Hokage asked curiously.

“Well . . . he couldn’t have been too badly hurt. When I left he was punching Gai in the face.” Genma declared.

“Because . . .?” the teacher urged.

“Because Gai decided it was his duty to ‘The Lover Of His Rival’ to give him a bath to clean off the tea.” the honey haired man snickered, “He was trying to strip Ibiki when I left . . . I wish I was a fly on the wall right about now.”

“Poor Ibiki.” Iruka said with a shudder, “Maybe it’s time to send Gai on a mission . . . I don’t want to push Ibiki into committing homicide, I just wanted to distract him a bit.”

“Well, you certainly distracted me.” Genma declared happily as he gave his lover a kiss, “I haven’t had this much fun in years.”