Into the Fire

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Kisame was awakened in the wee hours of the night by the sound of the copy-nin’s screams. “Go help him.” Itachi urged, “I’ll be fine here.” The swordsman hurriedly pulled on some clothes and raced towards the sannin’s apartment, throwing the door open and rushing inside, only to stop dead at the heartbreaking sight of Kakashi clutching Orochimaru’s limp body as he desperately pleaded with him not to leave.

“Just a little more time, koishii.” the jounin was keening, “I’m not ready to let you go yet.”

“Hatake-san, let me have him.” Kisame urged, holding out his arms to receive the body.

“No, you can’t take him from me.” came the hysterical reply, “I’m not going to let you.”

“Please don’t fight me Kakashi.” the Mist nin entreated, “He needs to be properly taken care of.”

“I’m taking care of him . . . aren’t I Oro-sama.” the copy-nin crooned as he gently stroked the lifeless face, “He doesn’t need anyone else.”

Unable to come up with a way to separate the distraught jounin from his lover’s body, Kisame headed back to his quarters to fetch Itachi, hoping he would be able to get through to the leaf nin.

“Kakashi.” the Uchiha’s soft, emotionless voice cut through the haze around the copy-nin, and he turned his tear-streaked face toward the source of the sound, “You need to put the body down now.”

“But . . .” the jounin’s lower lip quivered as he fought back more tears, “I . . . can’t.”

“Give him to Kisame.” Itachi insisted as he moved forward and wrapped his arms around the lanky figure, gathering him close to sob on the younger man’s chest as his partner lifted the sannin’s body from the copy-nin’s arms.

“It’s all my fault.” Kakashi whimpered through his tears, “I never wanted him to die, you have to believe me.”

“Hatake-san, I saw how you stayed with him, cared for him . . . of course you didn’t want him to die. It’s not your fault,” the Uchiha soothed, petting ragged silver strands gently in an attempt to ease some of the tension from the taut frame, “he chose his path when he used that jutsu in the first place. Eventually it was going to be his downfall, Orochimaru knew that, no one is blaming you.”

“I’m a jinx.” the copy-nin muttered, “It’s my fault . . . everyone close to me dies.”

“Everyone dies sempai.” Itachi declared hollowly, “Whether we’re ready for it or not. He had the luxury of dying in the arms of the one he loved . . . that’s a rarity for a ninja.” He pursed his lips in thought, turning blind eyes towards Kakashi’s face, “You’ve been with all of your loved ones when they died, haven’t you sempai . . . Obito, your father, Minato-sensei . . . now Orochimaru . . . maybe you’re the one that’s jinxed, to have to suffer through watching the ones you love die and leave you behind.”

After what seemed like hours, the copy-nin’s sobs finally slowed, body slumping in exhaustion as the events of the night caught up with him. “Just rest sempai.” Itachi crooned as he helped the taller man stretch out in the bed, “You’ll feel better after you sleep.”

“Stay with me.” Kakashi entreated, grasping the thin wrist firmly and tugging him toward the bed, “Please don’t leave me alone.”

“You’re not alone sempai, rest now, I’ll stay with you.” the Uchiha promised as he sat down next to him on the bed, “Everything will work out, you’ll see.” he continued softly as he stroked the copy-nin’s messy silver strands, “We’ll talk when you wake up.”

Several hours later Kisame crept back into Orochimaru’s rooms, gliding silently up to the bed and bending to whisper in Itachi’s ear. “It’s done . . . thank you for stepping in, Hatake-san wasn’t listening to me.”

“He is mourning Kisame, his heart is punishing him for his loss . . . listening to anything but that right now is impossible for him.” the dark haired man whispered airily, hand still petting the tangled mop of hair as he kept his tone placid and light, “Tomorrow he must make many hard decisions . . . just keep them away for a few hours, I’ll let you know when he’s awake.”

“Are you sure you can handle this ‘tachi?” the swordsman asked worriedly, “I can stay with him.”

“I don’t mind Kisame . . . it’s nice to be useful again.” he replied wryly as he made a mocking gesture towards his eyes, “Kakashi is strong, he’ll be fine once he accepts what has happened. He’ll heal eventually . . . just as you will when the time comes.”

“I don’t want to talk about that ‘tachi.” the big man retorted sharply, “You’ve been feeling a lot better lately, the headaches have almost disappeared.”

“Still . . .” the Uchiha whispered, “I hope someone will give you solace.”

Early the next morning Kakashi woke with a start, pulling the dark haired form into his arms and nuzzling a pale neck. “I had the worst dream koishii.” he murmured mournfully, “I’m so glad I’m awake now.”

“Good morning sempai.” Itachi husked as he rolled over to face the copy-nin, “I’m afraid it wasn’t a dream. I’m sorry to have to do this . . . but you’re in charge now. There are things that need to be taken care of and decisions that need to be made.”

“In charge of what?” the jounin asked dully.

“Otogakure, of course.” came the silky reply, “You’re the new Otokage.”

“Absolutely not.” Kakashi snapped, “I’m not even a Sound nin.”

“You’re the strongest . . . you were the Otokage’s lover . . . who else would they choose?” the Uchiha asked cryptically.

“I don’t care.” the copy-nin replied almost hysterically, “I won’t do it.”

“Well . . . then you need to decide who will . . . and what their relationship will be with the leaf village.” Itachi continued determinedly, “Do you wish revenge on them . . . or not? The course of this village, these people, is in your hands now.”

“I want to go home.” Kakashi said in an almost child-like voice, “I just want to go home.”

“So you’re returning to Konoha.” the Uchiha said seriously, “I assume you wish conflict between the villages to end?”

“Yes, of course.” the jounin replied raggedly, “But I can’t arrange that . . . I can’t stay here anymore.”

“Just for a few days sempai.” Itachi implored, “Then we’ll make sure you get home. Would you like me to send word to someone?”

“No . . . yes,” the copy-nin decided at the last moment, voice hardening viciously, “I would like to send some scrolls. I’ll have Pakkun take care of it.” He stood and stretched, moving to the desk and quickly scribbling several notes before summoning his nin-ken to carry the messages, staring off blankly into space long after the little pug had disappeared.

“Who are you thinking of sempai?” Itachi’s soft voice snapped Kakashi back to the present.

“My ‘Uncle’ Jiraiya.” the copy-nin sneered, “He was too high and mighty to swallow his pride and do what was right. Now it’s too late . . . I hope it hurts when he realizes it.”

“You’re not usually so vicious Kakashi, what did he do to you?” the Uchiha asked with concern.

“He didn’t do anything to me . . . or for me. I only recently found out we were related. No, this has nothing to do with me. He and Oro-sama were teammates. Jiraiya is the reason that Oro left Konoha in the first place. I gave him the chance to come here and clear the air, make amends for the mistakes of his youth . . . and all he did was make things worse.” the jounin rasped angrily, “How hard is it to be civil to a dying man, anyway?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never tried.” Itachi answered mildly, “Seriously, though, don’t make the mistake of throwing away your life on revenge . . . I can tell you from personal experience it isn’t worth it.”

“So . . . am I to just ignore how I feel?” the copy-nin inquired honestly, “Because I don’t think I can do that. He has no right to judge me.”

“Ahhhh.” the Uchiha murmured as understanding sunk in, “Are you concerned about what he might have said when he returned? If you’re worried about retribution you don’t have to go back . . .”

“No . . . the Hokage has assured me I’m welcome . . . so are you, should you ever want to return.” Kakashi added matter-of-factly.

“I’m welcome in Konoha?” Itachi said with surprise, disbelief clear in his voice.

“Do you remember Umino Iruka?” the copy-nin asked, “He taught at the Academy.”

“Of course . . . he was my brother’s teacher.” came the puzzled reply, “Why?”

“He is the Rokudaime Hokage . . . and he says he’s determined to right Sarutobi’s wrongs.” Kakashi declared. “I’m not sure if I should but I want to trust him.” His expressive face fell when realization hit him once again, “I can’t breathe here ‘tachi . . . everything reminds me of him and I just can’t breathe.”

“It will be alright sempai.” the Uchiha assured him, although in his heart he didn’t know if he believed the lie he told so easily.