Embracing Dreams

Warnings: Crack, fluff, violence, scary crack, NaruSasu

Part 39

Lee was on cloud nine. His mentor had married, undoubtedly to someone as pure and youthful as himself. And it was a woman, so there could be children. He could barely control his excitement. Sai had warned him that it would be months before a letter could be delivered. As much as his mentor moved around, it would be even longer before he could visit. But Lee knew he would, bringing his bride and any children they might have along with him. He could hardly wait.

Ino declared it cause to celebrate. She had the perfect game in mind. It took some wheedling to convince the others, namely Iruka. 'I've Never' was a drinking game and Iruka wasn't about to allow them alcohol. Ino's solution was to use soft drinks as a substitute. A caffeine high and anyone who took a bathroom break automatically lost. Those who didn't like carbonated sugar, namely Iruka and Sasuke, could drink coffee instead. And since she was certain she had the game in the bag, the ultimate winner would get to assign penalties to all the losers. It was perfect. Most of the others agreed. The only problem was that Iruka didn't have any soda in the house. They had to make a trip to the gas station, the closest place still open at seven in the pathetic little town.

Iruka wasn't sure about participating in the game. If Kakashi hadn't insisted on playing, he'd have gone up to his office and left the kids to it. They were much too old for this. It was ridiculous to have adults playing right alongside the kids. Besides, while he'd never played games like this at that age, he knew very well how they turned out. Sexual topics, embarrassing revelations prompting questions no one wanted to answer. He retreated to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, filling a thermos with what was already done. He muttered under his breath the entire way. They were going to be up all night. Lee with a sugar buzz. There was a very good reason he didn't provide Naruto with caffeine. He was convinced it had no more effect on him than any other drug, but Naruto certainly bounced off walls as if it did. Why had he agreed to this? They were in a good mood and wanted to do something fun together. Still...

"Are you going to be a party pooper?"

"No," Iruka muttered, as gathered enough cups for everyone. The carpet would be ruined at this rate. He should at least insist they do this in the dining room. "I can't believe you actually want to play a childish game with them."

"It sounds like fun," Kakashi smiled. "And I'm sure you'd rather have an adult or two present to make sure it doesn't get out of hand."

"So you're planning to chaperone. I see."

Kakashi sighed. "You're too self-conscious. Are you really that afraid of being embarrassed in front of them? Just think, it'll make you more approachable if you hang out with them."

"Maybe. But an authority figure has to be respected." Iruka snorted. "Sai has no respect for me at all. The others do and I'd like to keep it that way. If they start thinking of me as one of them, they won't listen to a word I say."

Clearly, Iruka was that self-conscious, with strict ideas of what it meant to be the 'adult' of the house. Kakashi knew better. "Slumming once in a while won't strip you of your power. They respect you because they like you. That isn't going to change. As for Sai..." He let out a quiet chuckle. "That kid is a foot soldier. He'll respect his superiors because that's his job. Otherwise, he only respects those he sees as being stronger than himself. As a mutant. It's not about age or experience, just what he sees with his talents. You can't take that personally. I really doubt any of the others are going to adopt his attitude, so it doesn't really matter what he thinks."

"It annoys me," Iruka admitted.

"I can tell."

Lee burst into the kitchen with five two liters in his arms. Naruto and Kiba followed, equally loaded. Iruka gaped. "Isn't that a bit much?"

"There's a lot of us," said Naruto. "And we had to get a variety since we don't all like the same thing." Ino came in with a twenty-four pack in each hand. He grabbed one and set it on the table. "Like root beer," he said to Iruka.

"Root beer doesn't have caffeine," Iruka protested.

"Barq's does," said Ino. "A and W cream soda, too, but they didn't have any of that. It's too bad. Sakura loves that stuff."

"Big Red tastes about the same," said Kiba.

"Assuming she'll drink it," Ino scoffed.

"I've never had soft drink before," Lee told Iruka excitedly. "I'm going to try them all!"

"Be sure to use that 'never' in the game," Ino smirked. "If you can get it in before you have to drink some, it's a great one."

"We're doing this at the dining room table," Iruka said decisively. He wasn't about to have fifteen two liters all over the carpet. Fifteen. There was no way they needed that many of them.

It didn't take long to get them all settled at the table, in the same placees they'd been at dinner. Iruka was surprised Neji was participating. He probably was doing it to avoid being badgered, rather than out of any actual interest in learning more about the others. Much like Sasuke and Shikamaru, no doubt.

"Lee gets to go first," Ino said as soon as they were all in place. Naruto and Kiba groaned. She frowned at them. "It's his celebration."

"I've never drank soft drink," Lee said with a wide grin. Everyone took a drink except Sasuke.

"You're like an old man," Naruto grimaced at his boyfriend. "You've gotta do more kid stuff."

"I'll go next," said Kakashi. "Since I'm the oldest."

"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Naruto.

"Be quiet and respect your elders," Kakashi sniffed. "I've never worn a skirt." He grinned when Iruka gave him the nastiest glare imaginable as he and the girls took their drinks.

"Iruka-sensei!?" Naruto yelped.

"I was a kid," Iruka scowled, a furious blush breaking on his face. "It was a joke for Halloween." Kakashi was so dead.

"You must have had an interesting childhood," Ino commented, with a completely straight face. She didn't crack until Sakura started laughing.

"What kind of skirt?" asked Lee. "A dark russet would go very nicely with your complexion."

Even Iruka had to laugh at that. "It was black and that's all I'm saying on the subject. I'll go next. I've never groped Ino."

"Oh, that's low," Kakashi drawled. He took a drink of his coffee.

"I thought you were gay!" Naruto blurted. "What were you groping her for?"

"He thought I was Sasuke-kun," Ino informed him.

As expected, Naruto blew up. "What! Why you-"

"I wasn't planning to grope anyone," Kakashi sighed. He sent a smoldering look at Iruka, who had a sweetly innocent smile on that diabolical head of his.

"Shikamaru next," said Ino. "We can go clockwise. Though, it'll skip you," she said to Iruka, "since you've already gone this round."

Shikamaru made a face at being singled out. "I've never groped a guy."

Quite a few drinks were taken. Iruka shot a startled look at Neji when he took one. Sakura rolled her eyes when Ino drank with a smug grin. Naruto scowled as he took his. What he and Sasuke had done together didn't count as groping since it wasn't one-sided. But what Kyuubi had done on the roof that time definitely did. It wasn't fair that he had to drink for two. Kiba slouched resentfully in his chair as he took his drink. It wasn't like he'd wanted to grope them during that stupid fight. Kakashi looked as smug as Ino when he downed his coffee. He promptly refilled his cup, topping off Iruka's while he was at it.

"I've never kissed a girl," said Neji. He raised an eyebrow when Ino took a big drink.

"There's nothing wrong with being bi," she scowled, at Kiba in particular.

"I didn't say there was," Kiba muttered, looking away quickly. He was blushing.

Naruto frowned when Iruka took a drink, and he scowled when Kakashi took an even bigger one. Was the guy gay or not? Sai also downed his drink, refilling it with the two liter closest to him. Naruto wasn't buying that at all. Sai had to be gay to dress the way he did.

"I'm keeping score, by the way," Ino said before taking her turn. "That way if our bladders outlast the soft drink supply we can still determine the winner."

"And we're supposed to trust you to keep a fair count?" asked Sakura.

"Wait," Iruka said quickly. "I bought a message board." He fetched it from the kitchen. He'd picked it up before taking Hinata home from the store, hoping to prevent any more missed messages. He quickly tallied the results so far. Ino and Kakashi had the most. Somehow, that didn't surprise him.

"Ready?" asked Ino. "I've never slept with a dog."

Iruka, Sasuke, Kiba, Kakashi, and Shikamaru all drank. Naruto scowled. He was going to have a talk with Pakkun about sneaking into bed with his people.

Sakura smiled playfully. "I've never touched Sasuke-kun." Him shoving her against the door the first time they met didn't count since he'd been the one touching, not her.

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he took a drink. He was rather put out that so many people drank as well. Iruka, Kakashi, and Naruto had excuses. Ino and Kiba were just annoying. He went ahead and finished off his coffee before it could get cold. Kakashi happily refilled it for him.

"My turn?" asked Naruto. "I've never..." He blinked. Between him and Kyuubi there wasn't much they hadn't done. His eyes moved around the table and narrowed on Kakashi. "I've never had sex with a guy." He was planning to as soon as possible, but that didn't count. Kakashi took his drink as expected. But Naruto was shocked when quite a few of the others also drank. Sai wasn't surprising, but Shikamaru and Neji? Hinata's cousin was gay!? And- "Iruka-sensei!?"

Iruka groaned, wanting to sink under the table. "I'm much older than you, Naruto."

"But!" Aware that he was panicking, Naruto struggled to keep his world from crashing down around his ears. Iruka couldn't have! With the pervert??

'They haven't had sex yet,' Kyuubi assured him.

That was even worse! He'd had sex with someone else? "Who!?"

"That's none of your business," Iruka winced.

"But!"

Ino snapped at him. "Did you expect him to be a forty year old virgin?" She was just as upset as Naruto by the results of the round, but at least she could be realistic about it. Teenagers experimented. Just because Shikamaru had apparently had sex with a guy didn't make him gay. He could be just as bi as she was. But this did make him sharing a room with Neji even more unacceptable. That was it. She'd hound Iruka until he moved Shikamaru in with Lee. There was no other choice. "Sasuke-kun?" she prompted.

"I've never touched a microwave."

Naruto took a moment out of his horrified panicking to scowl at him. "I knew you were gonna use that." He took a drink along with everyone else. There were quite a few cups to refill.

"Am I allowed to drink even if I haven't lost the round?" Lee asked Ino. This was his first drink and he felt rather left out.

"Sure," said Ino. "You'll win at this rate. You might as well get some sampling in."

"I've never kissed anyone," said Kiba. Everyone except Lee and Sakura drank. At least he wasn't the only one here with zero experience.

Sai smiled pleasantly into his drink. "I've never slit anyone's throat."

Sasuke was the only one who drank, drawing quite a few looks. Naruto bit back a growl, tempted to go over there and break Sai's glass on his smiling face.

"That was macabre," Kakashi drawled. "On that note, I've never killed anyone."

Neji, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai all drank. Sakura also took a drink.

"That wasn't your fault," Ino scowled at her. "It was an accident."

Sasuke gave Naruto a similar look. "That wasn't you."

"I'm drinking for both of us," Naruto muttered.

"Oh, yeah," Kiba mocked. "This is a really fun game."

"Your turn," Kakashi told Lee.

"I've never held anyone's hand."

Sasuke was the only one who didn't drink. Naruto frowned at him. "You must have held your parents' hands, when you crossed streets and stuff?"

"No."

Naruto grabbed one of his hands and held on while he took his drink. "Now you can't say you never anymore."

Shikamaru muffled a yawn and finished his glass for the hell of it. He refilled it with a can of the rootbeer. "I've never worn green."

"Oh!" Lee said in surprise. He flashed a wide grin and downed his drink. Naruto, Neji, and Sasuke were the only ones who didn't drink with him.

"I've never worn orange," said Neji.

"Okay," Naruto scoffed. "Get the guys with a preference for one-color wardrobes. I see how this is." He quirked an eyebrow when Lee happily drank again.

"Orange socks," Lee smiled. "Very warm."

"You're perfect for each other," Ino scoffed. "Take a drink, Sakura. Before I tell them what part of your clothing has orange on it."

Sakura glared, blushing and almost choking down her drink. Kakashi, Iruka, and Kiba also drank.

"Let's see," Ino hummed. "I've never run in the fields here." All of the race participants drank, along with Kakashi and Iruka.

"I've never had an erotic dream," stated Sakura. There were a lot of blushes, Lee being the worst, as everyone except Sasuke drank.

"I've never used my talents in a fight," said Iruka.

Kiba snorted when Ino and Sakura were the only ones not drinking. "That's only 'cause you can't use your talents in a fight."

Naruto tried to think up something for Lee, since he was totally winning. "I've never met another mutant with similar talents." Kiba, Shikamaru, Neji, and Ino were the only ones who didn't drink.

"I've never watched a movie," said Sasuke.

Naruto cringed as he and everyone else drank. "I'm going to fix that," he told him furiously, "even if I have to tie you in front of the tv."

Kiba shrugged. "I've never committed a crime."

Naruto scowled at Sasuke when he and Sakura were the only ones not drinking. "With all you've done?"

"It was self defense," Sasuke said flatly.

Naruto shot a look at Neji, "Yours was self-defense, too."

"I wasn't defending myself," Neji said, his tone as flat as Sasuke's.

Huffing, Naruto refilled his cup. If self-defense didn't count, then he shouldn't have drank either. Then again, he had done a few spots of vandalism. Just because he hadn't been caught didn't mean it hadn't happened.

Sai smiled at Lee. "I've never climbed a public building."

"You know about that? It really was quite challenging," Lee sighed, taking his solitary drink.

"I've never had someone teach me about sex," Kakashi drawled.

Blushing, Iruka frowned over at him. Then he blinked. Sasuke was the only one not drinking. In fact, he was scowling suspiciously at Kakashi.

Kakashi shrugged when Iruka sent him a sharp look. It wasn't his fault Sasuke ran away every time he broached the topic of sex. As many half-sentences as he'd gotten in before the brat bolted, Sasuke was bound to have put some of it together. With Naruto on the job, he'd pick up the basics in no time.

Lee filled his cup with Kiba's Dr. Pepper. He was working through them all and feeling quite energetic. "I've never used a telephone."

"Ouch," Naruto winced, looking at Sasuke. "He's even worse than you." They drank along with everyone else.

Nursing another can of rootbeer, Shikamaru let his gaze roam around. This game was stupid. They were stupid. But their reactions were amusing. "I've never been attracted to Sasuke." As expected, the boy in question bristled and glared at him.

Naruto fumed as Ino and Sakura took their drinks. He was a little disturbed when Neji drank. Sai downed his entire glass and Naruto almost killed him on the spot. Then Lee sighed and took a little sip. Naruto almost choked to death as he polished off his own cup. "Lee!?"

"I'm not sure," Lee sighed. "I am still uncertain of my inclination."

Kakashi laughed. Sasuke's expression was to die for. "Give it time," he told Lee. "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"I've never bottomed," said Neji. He watched as Iruka, Sai, and Shikamaru took drinks.

Ino's eyes snapped to him. She knew why he'd said that. Did she ever. She was getting him out of that room even if she had to move in with the slob herself. A low whine drew her attention to the other side of the table. Naruto looked like he was ready to cry, staring at Iruka with the most awful expression. Iruka was slumped in his seat, face red, looking two seconds shy of hiding under the table.

'Get over it,' Kyuubi snorted. 'He can do what he wants. You won't let me have him, so you can't complain if he let's someone else.'

'That's disgusting,' Naruto snapped. Then he went back to whimpering, silently this time. His gleaming crystal Iruka-sensei statue was getting darker by the second. It wasn't supposed to be like this!

"I've never fantasized about raping someone," said Ino. She sniffed when Neji took a drink. She so had him pegged. It was always the quiet pretty ones.

Kakashi and Sai each polished off a glass. Naruto drank a good dose of his own, on Kyuubi's behalf. Iruka blushed until his face was almost purple when he took his own drink. Naruto let out another whimpering wine as his formerly gleaming image of Iruka grew still more tarnished.

Sakura huffed at how this game was turning out. Leave it to Ino to get into a dick-measuring contest with a handful of guys. Only in this case, it was the perversion level they were testing. Ridiculous. "What's the score? I think after someone hits twenty they should be out. Otherwise the game might never end."

"You're kicking me out?" Kakashi pouted.

"He just hit twenty," Iruka explained to Sakura. "I'm one away. In fact, Sasuke's the lowest at the moment."

"Let me see that!" said Ino. She frowned at the board for a moment and then handed it down to Kakashi. "You keep score. If you have any nevers to use on Sasuke-kun, give them to one of us." She looked around the table. "It's everyone against Sasuke-kun now. He's way ahead. That's unacceptable."

Naruto snorted at Sasuke's expression. If Ino was trying to get on his good side, she was going about it all wrong. "Just don't do any kid stuff. If it's something any normal kid has done, he's never done it."

"Naruto," Sasuke said warningly.

"Sakura?" Ino said, turning expectantly.

"Um," Sakura blinked. "I've never...worn boys' underwear?" Ino clapped an approving hand on her back when all the guys took a drink, including Sasuke.

"I'm out," said Iruka. He picked up as many empty two liters as he could carry and took them into the kitchen. They had gone through quite a few of them. Once that was done, he went straight for the bathroom. Was it their age that gave them such big bladders? No, Kakashi hadn't gone yet, either. Well, he was normal even if the rest of them weren't.

"I'm next, then," Naruto said, after Iruka retreated. He sent a sly look at his boyfriend. "I've never worn sandals in the rain."

Sasuke glowered when he was the only one to drink. "I've never had a fox in my head."

"Cheap shot," Naruto muttered, taking his drink.

Kiba also took a drink. "I've talked to a couple before. It's all like telepathy, so I figure it's the same thing." He wrinkled his nose at Sasuke. "I've never kissed Naruto."

By his own admission, he'd never kissed anyone. Sasuke snorted as he took another drink. This teaming up on him was bullshit.

"I've never slept in the same bed with another person," said Sai.

Lee, Sasuke, and the girls all took drinks. Naruto stared at Sasuke but didn't want to ask in front of the others.

Kakashi leaned toward Lee. "Ever walked barefoot in the snow?"

Lee's eyes widened. "I've never done that. It would be very foolhardy."

"Yes," Kakashi agreed, watching Sasuke take his drink. "Very foolhardy..."

"You're out of the game," Sasuke glared at him.

"I just asked him a question," Kakashi smiled innocently.

"Ask me one," Shikamaru muttered.

Kakashi hummed thoughtfully. "Ever been carried to bed by Naruto?"

"Nope. I've never done that."

"He carried you to bed?" Kiba stared. "No wonder you went off on me," he said to Naruto. "I had it all backwards."

Sasuke whipped his head around, pinning Naruto in place. "What does he mean by that?"

"Nothing," Naruto mumbled. "Right, Kiba?"

"Er, yeah," Kiba drawled. "Nothing at all..."

"I've never worn women's underwear," said Neji.

Ino glared at him. "You're supposed to be getting Sasuke-kun, not us." He didn't even look at her. She took her drink while plotting his painful demise.

Kakashi laughed when Sai also took a drink. "You do live on the wild side, don't you." The boy grinned and refilled his glass.

"I've never hit Naruto," said Ino. Sakura and Kiba scowled at her, but Sasuke also drank and that was what mattered.

Sakura's expression was evil when she said, "I've never imagined Sasuke-kun naked."

"What the hell," Naruto exploded, when Neji and Sai both drank. "You guys have spent less than a day with him!"

"As if that makes any difference," Ino scoffed as she took her own drink. She'd make Sakura pay for that one later.

"I'm out," said Sai. He promptly leaned over to whisper in Kiba's ear.

Naruto scowled when he finished his drink. He was one away from being out himself. "I've never...been attracted to myself."

"You can't use that," Sasuke sneered.

"Yes, I can," Naruto grinned. "I never have." Sasuke glowered at him as he took his drink. The girls drank, too, making his grin widen. Then Lee drained his cup and his grin vanished. Wow. Lee looked really weird when he blushed. Lee was attracted to him? Lee was? Kyuubi groaned and Naruto squirmed in his chair. The idea made him uneasy. And itchy, for some reason.

"I've never been female," said Sasuke.

"Bastard," Naruto muttered. "Thanks a lot. Now I'm out."

"What does that mean?" asked Sakura. "How could you be female? Crossdressing?"

"He wasn't dressed in anything," Sasuke informed her. He smirked. Naruto's face couldn't get any redder.

Naruto jumped up and drug his chair over behind Ino. "Now you're going down, teme."

"I'm so scared."

Kiba cleared his throat, a blush covering his face. "I've never...drank someone?"

Sasuke stiffened and snapped a sharp look on Sai. "What do you know?"

Sai turned his head away, calmly sipping from his cup. Kakashi sighed at him. The kid was very bad at this 'not interfering' thing.

Naruto shot out of his chair. "What the hell, Sasuke! Does that mean-"

"It's not what you're thinking," Sasuke hissed. Was everything sexual with him?

"Maybe not for you," Ino groused. Shikamaru and Neji had both taken a drink. The game was so not going the way she'd planned.

"Lee is now leading," Kakashi told them, turning the board. "With Shikamaru close behind."

"I get to assign penalties if I win?" asked Lee. His eyes gleamed as much as his pearly whites. "I've never cooked a meal."

Ino groaned. "You knocked me out! You're supposed to be on my side!"

Shikamaru was the only one who didn't have to drink. "I've never washed a dish," he admitted.

"Nice work," said Kakashi. "You just knocked out Neji, Sakura, and Sasuke. It's between you, Lee, and Kiba now."

"It's not supposed to be like that," Ino complained.

Sakura rolled her eyes at the whining. Naruto sighed at not getting a chance to give any tips. He sullenly drug his chair back over to Sasuke.

"Guess it's my turn, then," said Kiba. "I've never obeyed Ino." He shook his head sadly when Lee drank.

"I've never combined with a dog," Lee said back, "though it does look quite fun."

"Yeah, it is," Kiba admitted, taking his own drink.

"I've never gone to a female for advice," said Shikamaru.

"As if being a misogynistic pig is something to brag about," Ino muttered as Lee took another drink.

Kiba thought for a moment. "I've never thrown up." The other two drank.

"What, never?" Naruto asked in surprise.

"Iron stomach," Kiba smirked. "Comes in handy when you're roughing it."

"I've never slept through an entire day," said Lee.

"Nice one," Shikamaru acknowledged. He took his last drink. "I've never spoken to that dark-haired girl at the picnic."

"Because you're antisocial," Ino scoffed.

"It doesn't matter," Shikamaru smirked. "They're both out. I win. As usual."

"He's right," said Kakashi. He slid the board where they could all see. "So he's assigning the penalties. What do you have in mind? No, wait, let me fetch Iruka first."

Once Iruka had rejoined them, Shikamaru leaned back in his chair. He did Ino first, since he had the perfect punishment for her. She'd practically been begging for it. He pointed at the two liter closest to her, a half-filled bottle of Big Red. "Drink that. Out of the jug. All of it, or you'll have to put your name on it before it goes back in the fridge."

"What!? No! You can't make me do that!"

"Sure I can."

"It's disgusting!" Ino wailed. "I would never do that!"

"If you renege now, no one will ever play a game with you again," he pointed out.

"I don't care!"

Sakura patted a hand on her back. "Just think of it as a big twenty ounce. No one else drank out of it. No one is going to. It's all yours, so there's no problem."

"But it's gross," Ino whimpered.

"Come on," Sakura scoffed. "Are you going to let him show you up?"

Ino stiffened, glaring viciously at Shikamaru. "I hate you."

"I noticed," said Shikamaru. "Now drink up. You'll like it."

If only looks could kill. Ino snatched the two liter, took a deep breath, and started chugging.

"Woah!" Kiba gaped. Ino barely took a breath before going right back at it. He'd seen guys do that, but...damn.

Ino slammed the empty jug down. Her throat was on fire. Of all the soft drinks here, he just had to pick Big Red. She flashed a bleary-eyed yet challenging look at Shikamaru.

"Well done," Shikamaru commented. He leaned forward to catch Sakura's eye. "Kiss someone."

"What?" Sakura blurted.

"You've never kissed, right? Plenty of guys here. Pick one and kiss him." He looked around the table, not discounting Kakashi and the queasy-looking Iruka. "Whoever she picks has to kiss back. Consider it your penalty."

"No way!" Naruto protested. "She'll pick Sasuke. You can't make him kiss her."

"Sure I can."

"Try it," said Sasuke.

Shikamaru sighed. "All I have to do is use my shadows on you." He shrugged at Sakura. "Then it'll be like you're kissing me. But if that's how it has to be, that's how it has to be."

Sakura blushed furiously, her eyes flying over all the uncomfortable and wary faces.

Sai grinned when she came to him. "I'll kiss you," he said cheerfully.

"No you won't!" Naruto snapped. "You're not laying one finger on her!"

"Oh," Sai blinked. "You want to kiss her instead?"

Naruto blushed and sunk back into his chair. "I'm not saying that..."

"I would be honored to share your first kiss," Lee spoke up. "I have never kissed, either."

Sakura bit her lip. Lee was so sincere and sweet and totally not her type. His eyebrows! But compared to the others... If she picked Sasuke, he'd never forgive her. If she picked Naruto, Sasuke would never forgive her. Sai gave her the creeps, and the adults were out of the question. That only left Kiba or Lee. Or Neji... He was almost better looking than Sasuke. And completely gay by the sound of things. Her shoulders slumped. Inside, she railed, cursing the inbred cretins who'd mated and produced a twisted creature like Shikamaru. "Lee-kun?"

"I'm honored," Lee beamed.

Sakura squirmed as he came over to her. "Do we have to in front of everyone?"

"No," Shikamaru waved. "If he says you did, I'll believe him."

At least he wasn't a complete monster. She caught Lee's hand and tugged him out of the room.

Now Lee couldn't say he'd never held hands with anyone, either. Nice. Shikamaru pointed at Naruto and then at Kiba. "Kiss each other. With tongue."

"Oh, hell no!" Kiba roared. "I'm not kissing a guy!"

"Do it or I'll make you french your dog."

"She's right," Kiba exclaimed, pointing wildly at Ino. "You are sick!"

"Suck it up," Shikamaru muttered. Every one of them was a drama queen. "Pretend he's a girl or something. If you get that defensive about kissing a guy, people are going to think you're in denial."

"I'm not in denial! I just ain't interested in kissing a guy!"

"I don't want to kiss you, either," Naruto grimaced. For some reason, Kiba's horror was kinda insulting.

"Denial," sighed Shikamaru.

"I am not!"

"Prove it." Kiba bristled at him. He raised his eyes and waved a hand at Sai. "Unless you'd rather kiss him."

Kiba sent one look at the grinning Sai and lurched out of his chair. "Screw that." He stalked over to Naruto and stared down at him with an expression of pure revulsion. "Get up."

"No," Naruto cringed. "I don't wanna kiss you."

"Good!" Kiba snapped. "I'd be freaked as hell if you did."

Naruto stood and faced Kiba. His expression was a picture of wary disgust, no doubt mirroring his own. They inched closer, staring, both trembling on the verge of recoiling to opposite sides of the room.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. He sent a shadow under the table, tipping Kiba forward. The kiss lasted all of five seconds and was immediately followed by gags and dry heaves. There must have been tongue because Kiba was scrubbing the back of one hand over his. Naruto grabbed his glass off the table and spit furiously into it. Ino promptly gagged and bolted from the room. As expected. "Well done," he said dryly. He looked at Sai. "You kiss him," and he pointed at Sasuke.

"I really shouldn't," Sai admitted. "He may attack me."

"He won't. Because I'm not making him kiss you back."

Sasuke wondered how he could tell that just by looking at him. Naruto was sputtering beside him. He sent him a bland look. "I don't care."

"I do!" Naruto scowled. Kyuubi sure as hell did. Sai stood and approached them. Naruto's eyes were caught on his exposed stomach. All he could think was that guy's hands on Sasuke, his mouth on Sasuke, his tongue- His eyes flashed red and he surged out of the chair. Except he didn't. He didn't move a muscle. Couldn't. His eyes flew to the side to find Shikamaru giving him a bored stare.

"Don't make a fuss."

Naruto growled at him. Then his attention snapped back to Sasuke. The bastard was kissing him. One hand on the side of his face, the other on his shoulder. Touching him. And Sasuke was letting him.

It really was all the same, Sasuke decided. He felt nothing but annoyed disgust, contempt, disinterest. The kiss wasn't as forceful as the stolen ones he'd had over the years, but in the end it was no different. The way he attempted to con a response reminded him of Naruto, but he wasn't Naruto. What was it about Naruto that got to him? He didn't spare Sai so much as a glance when he pulled back. His eyes turned to the furious blonde beside him, and then down to the shadow holding Naruto immobile. He looked over at Shikamaru. "Let him go."

"I don't think so. He'll attack someone," Shikamaru admitted. "Possibly me."

"No, he won't. Just give me a ten second head start." He leaned close to Naruto and dropped his voice. "Outside. Now. Be quick about it or you'll never catch me." He rose and went out the back door.

The second Shikamaru released his shadow, Naruto tore after him, slamming the door behind him. Shikamaru winced. If he'd known Naruto would take it that badly, he'd have made that his penalty instead of using him for Kiba's. The guy was seriously possessive. He yawned and looked around at the others. "You two can go now," he waved at Kiba and Sai. They didn't waste any time doing just that. "Now, then." Iruka looked highly disturbed. Definitely uptight. Kakashi looked amused. When did he not? Shikamaru sniffed at him. "You can assign his penalty."

"What?" Iruka blurted.

"He's done me a fair turn or two," Shikamaru shrugged. "I owe him one." He rose from his seat and tapped Neji. "You come with me."

Iruka gaped when Neji followed him out of the room. That was- That wasn't- That-

"Well," Kakashi drawled. "Looks like our kids aren't the only ones having some fun around here." Iruka sputtered. "Relax. Here, I'll help you clean up. We can play the penalty game some other time."

"They-" Iruka's jaw and throat worked frantically, but nothing more came out.

"They may be," Kakashi shrugged. "And they may not. Do you really want to know?"

Iruka snapped his mouth closed. He began cleaning up the mess. He didn't want to know. Tenka was right. Having kids in his home get more action than him was absolutely humiliating. And wrong. He snapped a smoldering look on Kakashi. How had he gone from sneaking into his bed to ignoring his very existence? He had sex appeal, damn it. The least Kakashi could do was take advantage of that penalty Shikamaru had handed him.

"By the way," said Kakashi. "What was that 'INT' thing Sai mentioned?"

Iruka huffed moodily. On second thought, maybe he didn't have sex appeal. It had been a few years since he'd used it. If Kakashi wanted to talk about that when they were alone together, he was clearly losing his charm. "It's a personality type. Scientists tend to have it. With a sociopath, it means he doesn't just not feel remorse, he's incapable of it, or most other normal emotions. He's also horribly conceited. Any flaws in the project is due to a flaw in those around him, never a shortcoming of his own. One doesn't relate to others because he can't empathize with them, too stuck in his own head. When working in a group, he's like a director - if the actors can't perform up to his standards, he'll get out there and do it himself. What it means," and he frowned, "is that you don't want him on the big screen. With small projects the damage is localized. Once he moves onto bigger things, there's no telling how much damage he could do."

"Yeah," Kakashi sighed. "That's what I thought."

.-.

Naruto was stronger when he was furious. Everything increased, physical strength, energy, speed. Even his instincts sharpened. They had to because his rational thought dropped to nothing. He was more fox than bull now, better at everything, a quicker response time. But his inability to think clearly was glaringly obvious. His attempts to shield, to limit waste when healing, were stunted, half-hearted at best. In an enraged state, Sasuke couldn't decide who was in more danger, Naruto or himself.

He adopted Kakashi's style to deal with him, minus the taunts. He wouldn't bother talking to Naruto when he was like this, and he wasn't interested in getting him even more riled up. He fought silently, defensively, allowing enough blows to connect to let Naruto vent without getting him more frustrated, but not staying close enough to risk any actual damage to either of them. He wasn't as willing as Kakashi to offer himself up as a punching bag. He couldn't let himself be weakened right now. So he danced, evaded, waiting and watching for Naruto to let up. When he felt he'd used as much energy as he dared with Itachi looming overhead, he placed the shield around himself. He sat down on the grass, dropping his chin to his folded hands, and watched Naruto rage himself back to sanity.

"What do you think I am?' he asked, when Naruto was finally reduced to panting and growling on the other side of the barrier.

"A bastard!" Naruto spat. "A cheating bastard!"

Sasuke snorted. "What does that make you?"

"That doesn't count! I didn't want to do that - Kiba didn't even want to do that. You didn't care about doing it!"

"I didn't do anything."

"Exactly! You just sat there and let him! How could you do that?"

Sasuke's eyes dropped to the blood trickling from Naruto's clenched fists. His claws were too long to be doing that. Odd that his eye went red with anger even though Naruto was clearly still in charge. "You're hurting yourself."

"I want to hurt you!"

His gaze flicked up. "Will it make you feel better?" He wasn't surprised when Naruto looked away. It wouldn't. Maybe for a few minutes, but then he'd regret it. Frankly, Sasuke didn't know how to deal with a guilty Naruto. "You don't own me. You're not responsible for what happens to me or anything I do. I may not like seeing you kiss someone else, but I have no say in it. If seeing it makes me angry, that's too damn bad." And seeing Kiba's mouth on Naruto had certainly made him angry. "What you do is up to you. How I respond is up to me." His response was to make sure Naruto's mouth didn't come anywhere near him after where it had just been. He was sure Naruto felt the same way about him. "Getting angry and jealous is a waste of time. Will you do it again? Of course. You played and you lost. That was the penalty. You wouldn't back down from it any more than I would."

"You wouldn't have kissed Sakura-chan..."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't have kissed anyone. I wouldn't know how to do that with someone I'm not attracted to. It's not something I could fake. Even if he'd made me do it, it would have been him doing it, not me." He wouldn't have done that to her, anyway. Being kissed by someone who didn't want to had to be as degrading and pointless as kissing someone who didn't want it. "Why did he assign kissing penalties at all?"

Naruto was taken back by the question. His hands uncurled. "Lee, Kiba, and Sakura-chan were the only ones who'd never kissed anyone. That could be why for them. It's not as random as that thing he made Ino do." His face abruptly clouded again. "But why the hell did he have him kiss you? That bastard sure didn't take it like a punishment."

"Why kissing?" Sasuke pushed. "Those three didn't kiss people they were attracted to, so what was the point? Just to have done it?"

"I guess," Naruto shrugged. "That's how the games always turn out. Truth or Dare, you dare people to kiss. Spin the bottle, Seven Minutes in Heaven. All the drinking games are basically kissing games."

"And that's normal."

Naruto stared down at him, coming as close to the energy shield as he could without touching it. "You are totally alienated from your peer group." Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at him. "It's something Lee said. You make this stuff sound weird when to me it's just the way things are. And still, I'm the one who freaked and you just shrugged it off like it's nothing." He took a deep breath and curled his hands again, though not as tightly this time. "I don't ever want to see that again. I won't play games like that anymore, either. Okay?"

"No," Sasuke shook his head. "I only played because you asked me to. I'm not interested in things like that, anyway." Nothing but embarrassment and annoyance. And jealousy. "It doesn't matter if you play. They're your friends."

"It does. You didn't like me doing it any more than I liked you doing it. Besides, I don't want to be stuck kissing people I don't like. It's..."

"Disgusting. Pointless."

"Yeah." Naruto scuffed a foot in the grass. "Will you come out of there now?"

"Do you still want to hurt me?"

Naruto flinched, ducking his head. "I didn't really want to. I was just so...angry. Jealous." Possessive.

"Yeah. I know." With a little concentration, the shield fizzled out. Naruto was slow to approach him. Sasuke was reminded of the way he'd sat on the floor of his room. Naruto really did think too highly of himself if he believed he could have hurt him. He'd used the shield to keep from wasting energy. He could have fended him off without it, or simply gone back to the house. So much for not having to deal with a guilty Naruto tonight.

Naruto sat down in front of Sasuke, close enough that their knees touched. "Um. What was that thing about drinking someone?"

Revulsion twisted Sasuke's face. "I'd never have phrased it that way. It was a mutant I fought. It's in my notebook if you want to read about it. Water talents. I don't have anything to counter liquids. The chidori might have helped against him, but I didn't have it back then. He could liquify himself, turn into the same water he controlled. He surrounded me and I drowned." His stomach churned. He didn't know which had hit him harder, the betrayal or dying that way. "The water in my lungs was part of him. I don't know how he extracted it without killing me."

"Your brother doesn't have something like that, does he?" Naruto asked worriedly.

Suigetsu's talent unnerved Naruto where nothing he'd told about Itachi had. Sasuke had to marvel at that. "I doubt it. What's the long-haired guy's story?"

"Neji?"

Naruto's hesitation was blatant. He gave him a pointed stare. "Do you honestly think I'm going to repeat anything you tell me to the others?"

"No," sighed Naruto. "You're probably the only one who wouldn't spread it around. He's Hinata's cousin. Their dads were twins, one of those rich family things where her dad was the heir and his was the poor relation. Only it didn't stay that way. By the time Neji's dad had his accident, he had a lot more money. He left a bunch of it to Hinata for when she's old enough, seventeen or eighteen, I'm not sure. Her dad was always an asshole, but he got a lot worse when Neji moved in with them. He couldn't touch Neji, so he took it out on her."

"He killed him?"

Naruto shrugged, scowling at his lap. "Hinata says he didn't mean to. It was the first time he'd ever used his talent. He didn't know he was a mutant before that. But..." He made a disgusted face. "I'd have gone off on the bastard on purpose if I'd had a chance to. I bet he'd have done it a lot sooner if he'd known he could."

"What is his talent?"

"I'm not sure. I only know what she told me about it. Something about his eyes gonig white. He hit him, but it wasn't very hard. I mean, it didn't leave any marks. But it caused a lot of internal damage. That's why they sent him away for so long. The whole cause of death thing. She testified about all of it, so even if it wasn't an accident, it was totally self defense. It's not like they could have charged him for it. But they sure tried to. Iruka-sensei has been trying to get him since we moved here and heard about it. I guess he'd rather not be living in the same place as Hinata. He doesn't want anything to do with her. It's such bullshit. None of it's her fault."

"You think he blames her?" asked Sasuke.

"Why else wouldn't he want to see her? They were really close when they were little."

Sasuke could think of plenty of reasons that had nothing to do with blaming her. If anything, he probably blamed himself for not protecting her sooner, better, before she turned into the beaten-down person she was now. "Their fathers were twins?" That certainly explained the resemblance. If her hair were longer, he'd have known the moment he saw Neji.

"Identical twins. But her dad came out first, so he was the eldest."

"What about their mothers?"

Naruto winced. "Cousins. But it wasn't all weird and gross like it sounds," he said quickly. "It's an old fashioned family, so that's just how they did things." If Sasuke said one word about inbreeding, he'd deck him.

Now Sasuke wished he'd taken a look at her with the sharingan. Identical twin fathers, closely related mothers, and they looked like siblings. "Are you sure she's not a mutant?"

"Yeah," Naruto frowned. "Kyuubi would have noticed if she was a mutant."

"Even if her talents haven't come out yet?"

"She's fifteen. Mutants get their talents at puberty." Iruka had told him that, so he had it on good authority. "She'd have known by twelve or thirteen."

"Not everyone matures at the same age, especially girls." The chapter on female reproduction had made that graphically clear. He hadn't looked at her much, not getting past her lowered eyes and skittish behavior. But she was small, nothing in the way of breasts or curves. She looked more like a thin boy than the rounded female Naruto had turned his clone into. "I wouldn't rule it out."

"Oh, she'd love that. I wonder what kind of talents she'd have." Though, considering how much trouble she already had dealing with other people, adding 'mutant' to her list of problems probably wouldn't help anything. "I really don't think she is." Kyuubi definitely didn't. In fact, Kyuubi found the very idea insulting. As if she wasn't good enough to join his club. 'You're such a snob.'

"If she were, she'd have the same talents as Neji, passed from the identical fathers. If he got it from his mother, she wouldn't have anything." Then again, he and Itachi had the same parents and he hadn't gotten anything from them. "It was just a thought. I've never heard of sibling mutants. Twins or otherwise."

"What if the parents were both mutants?"

"I've never heard of that, either."

"Weird," Naruto muttered. "Iruka-sensei says the oldest of the 'first generation' would be around forty now. Some of them must have gotten together and made kids who'd be teenagers by now."

"I've never met a mutant over thirty," said Sasuke. And he'd done his part to make sure the mutants he had met never lived to reach that age. Unless he counted Orochimaru. If he were Pakkun's body-hopper, then there was no telling how old he really was.

"What about Kakashi?"

"He's twenty-eight at the most. His hair isn't any more natural than Sakura's. It's something to do with his talents."

"Sakura-chan's hair isn't natural?" Naruto demanded. "But! I thought that's how she got her name. How do you know?"

"She told me."

Naruto's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "When?"

"When we were making lunch. Her hair changed the first time she used her talents. I don't see why. Her talents have nothing to do with her appearance. Her hair was a dark blonde before that."

Sakura-chan with blonde hair and green eyes. Even Kyuubi had to admit it made an appealing image. But Naruto liked her hair just the way it was. "I'm surprised you talked to her," he admitted.

Sasuke scoffed. "She's smart." And not nearly as annoying without Ino around. She'd made no attempt to touch him the entire time they were in the kitchen together. She also had the only healing-related talent he'd ever encountered that he could actually copy. He hadn't, of course. She couldn't control it when it was natural to her, so there was little chance of him fairing any better. At least for now. He'd passed Iruka's primers on to her. If studying did make a difference, he'd reconsider later. He had a quicker way of retaining information than she did, if that was all it took to use the talent properly.

Naruto didn't know how to feel about that. Sasuke talking to Sakura. Making friends with her? Did someone like Sasuke even make friends? He'd said as much when he'd been talking to Kyuubi about Shikamaru, but that was mostly just to calm the fox down. The fact was, he'd gotten used to Sasuke not talking to, or even showing interested in, anyone but him. Well, and Iruka and Kakashi, but that was out of necessity. He was the only one Sasuke really talked to and that was the way he liked it. Did that make him stupidly possessive? Was he going to start chasing off anyone who talked to Sasuke the way Shikamaru had implied? He wasn't Kyuubi. It wasn't like he was going to consider everyone who looked at Sasuke a threat. Though having so many of them say they were attracted to his boyfriend did make him a little twitchy about having them so close by. At least Shikamaru wasn't. And Kiba, not that Sasuke was likely to make friends with him. Or Lee. He grimaced suddenly. "I can't believe Lee is attracted to me."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the random comment. "His energy was all over you during that fight. I can't believe you didn't feel it. Kiba kissing you was nothing compared to that."

"What?" Naruto yelped. "What do you mean?"

He wrinkled his nose. "Have you ever seen a dog hump somebody's leg? That's exactly what it looked like. And neither of you noticed."

"Then...he didn't..."

"He had no idea," Sasuke muttered. He'd known that from the start. Knowing it wasn't intentional hadn't helped. Lee might as well have been molesting Naruto himself. Even if Lee's energy had been doing that to someone else, he couldn't have simply stood there and watched it happen. He still shouldn't have hit him so hard. The fact that Naruto liked Lee, trusted him, had made it even worse. He regretted losing his temper, but if it kept that from happening again, it was worth it.

"So that's why he said he wasn't sure." The idea was disturbing. He didn't think of him that way at all. But if Lee hadn't realized his energy was doing that, then he probably didn't think of him like that, either. "Does energy do that? Just go after someone, even if you don't like them personally?"

"I've never seen it happen before. I've never seen energy like his before. Either it's huge or it's barely connected to him. It reacted with Kiba, too, when he used his talents to combine with that dog. It reached out, but it didn't molest him. It was more like it...wanted to get to know his energy better." He made a face, trying to think of a good comparison. "Like sniffing a strange dog. Like it was...curious. Friendly. I don't know. It reacted that way to me, too, the first time I saw him. But with you it went wild. You used a lot more energy than Kiba did. What were you doing to need so much?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked. "I was just running. With Kyuubi." He scratched his cheek, feeling a little embarrassed now. "When we run like that, it's like we're really one person. It's not me and him, it's just us. Kinda like Kiba and Akamaru, I guess. It's one of the only times when we're totally on the same wave-length."

"The way your eyes go red when you're angry." Naruto's expression was confused, but it didn't matter. That explained a lot, such as why his energy had flared, seeming to double the second he'd crouched down. That was why he was so much stronger when he was angry. The two were working as one. "You should run like that more often. It shouldn't take blind rage to make you work in unison. You can't take advantage of it if you're too angry to think clearly."

"But if I used a lot of energy, then..."

"You weren't wasting it. You were compressing it, making it there, available. You have more energy than Kakashi when you do that." Naruto didn't seem to understand the compliment he was giving him. Since learning to read energy signatures, he'd only met one mutant with more energy than Kakashi. That blonde in Russia. Even that flying rogue hadn't had any more energy than Sasuke himself. Lee was probably right about Naruto's potential. The fact that he wasn't tapping it, let alone harnessing it, was horribly frustrating. "Here. Let's run for a while before we go back to the house."

"What? Like a race?"

"No. Even with the energy boosting your speed, you still couldn't catch me if I ran all out." He rolled his eyes when Naruto immediately took insult at that. All the reinforcement in the world wouldn't let him match Naruto's strength, so why did Naruto get so outraged at being slower? It was just a difference in talents. Lee was faster than him when it came to pure speed. He would have won the race by lightening himself and reinforcing his feet, but in a distance match he'd never have had the stamina to maintain that. That was just the way things were. Getting angry about it wouldn't change anything. "You'll never be the best at everything. Work on what you are good at. That'll make up for the rest."

Naruto wasn't buying that. He was absolutely convinced he could do anything as well as if not better than Sasuke. At least as far as physical things like speed and strength were concerned. Kyuubi was more realistic, but he approved of Naruto's stubbornness. That 'I can do anything I set my mind to' attitude of his was one of his best traits. Even if it did get him into trouble.

'Have him chase,' said Kyuubi. 'He doesn't get to do that often enough.'

'At all, you mean,' Naruto scoffed. It was more awkward running on all fours when it was just him and Sasuke. But Sasuke was all about energy, so they'd give him plenty to look at. They had more than Kakashi, huh? And Kakashi had more than Sasuke. 'The only thing he's got that we don't is experience.'

'Exactly,' said Kyuubi. He didn't mention that experience made all the difference. Naruto knew that as well as he did. He was being boastful and optimistic. The least Kyuubi could do was play along. Besides, it was amusing how eager Sasuke was to strengthen Naruto up. They were equally protective. Naruto was just more honest and open about it.

.-.

An interesting scene greeted Iruka when he swung by the livingroom. Despite their sugary caffeine buzzes, he wasn't going to have the kids keeping him up all night. Or destroying the house. He stepped into the doorway, intending to give them an hour more before quiet time. Instead, he paused and stared. Ino was on the couch, Kiba on one of the love seats, Sakura standing in the middle of the room, and Lee down on one knee before her.

"I vow to protect you with my very life. Unhappiness shall never cloud your emerald eyes or turn your fair lips," Lee declared.

Kiba muffled laughter into his hand, Ino groaned, and Sakura blushed darker than her hair. Iruka blinked.

"It's...awfully melodramatic," Sakura said weakly.

"Corny as hell is what it is," laughed Kiba.

"Truer words have never been spoken," Lee insisted earnestly. He squeezed Sakura's hand. "I would protect my friends with my life. Naturally I would do no less for my soulmate."

Ino sighed. "Nix the 'fair lips' part. You wouldn't say that to a guy."

"It's a little embarrassing for a girl, too," Sakura admitted. "And you can't really promise someone they'll never be unhappy."

"I would do everything in my power to prevent it," said Lee.

"Then use that," said Ino. "And do it standing up. You can't propose marriage to a guy. Even if it's a girl, you'll need a ring first."

Lee looked from Sakura to the hand he was holding. "No," he said quietly. "Kneeling is a display of my utter devotion. With or without marriage, my humble devotion would remain unwavering."

Sakura sighed, flashing a pleading look at Ino. "It is romantic, in an embarrassing, corny, way."

"I know," Ino huffed. "But he's going to get decked if he tries that on the wrong guy. Or girl, for that matter."

"He'll get his ass kicked regardless," said Kiba. "Assuming the guy can stop laughing long enough to do it."

"What are you all doing?" Iruka asked, having finally found his voice. Sakura jumped, blushing scarlet and tugging her hand free.

"Practicing," Lee said with a bright smile.

"For who...?"

"My soulmate!"

Iruka tried to smile and failed. "Your soulmate being...?"

"He doesn't know yet," said Ino. "Since he can't have Naruto, he's determined not to let his next 'perfect match' get away. It's sweet." And her eyes narrowed, daring Iruka to say otherwise.

"I see." Iruka ran a hand over the back of his neck and looked at Lee, who'd finally gotten to his feet. "You know, I think declarations of love are better when they're," only in Disney movies, "...spontaneous. You won't know what it is you love about the person until you meet. Practicing is..." He suddenly found it very difficult to keep a straight face. "It's like practicing pick up lines. Those are some hot pants, I'd love to get in them."

Kiba gaped for a second and then snorted. "No melodrama there."

Ino snorted as well. "No one would use that as a pick up line."

"It's quite popular around here," Iruka admitted. "The point is, it sounds shallow, rehearsed. Just say whatever comes to mind." And if the person couldn't handle the unique things that came to Lee's mind, then they weren't a very good match, anyway. If that mentor of his had married, there had to be someone out there for Lee. "What's the rush, anyway?"

"We kissed," Sakura muttered, staring at her feet. Ino would never let her live that down. Never.

"I now realize what a mistake that was," Lee said solemnly. "We have deprived our future partners of that honor. The shame-"

"Oh, come on," Kiba muttered, disgusted. "It ain't that big a deal."

Ino snapped him a challenging look. "How are you going to feel ten years from now when you look back on your first kiss? With Naruto." Kiba's face turned an interesting orange. "Exactly."

"No more kissing games?" ventured Iruka. He didn't bother to hide his relief.

"It wasn't supposed to be one this time," said Ino.

"Yeah, right," scoffed Sakura. "You were so going to molest Sasuke-kun if you'd won."

"Well, at least I wouldn't have made Naruto kiss Kiba. That was just sick!"

"Tell me about it," Kiba put in.

"Well," said Iruka. He waited till he had their attention. "I want you all in bed within the hour. Or at least very quietly watching tv down here. If you feel the need to bounce and scream, please take it into the fields."

"Like we'd do that with those two out there pounding on each other," said Kiba.

Iruka would rather not have been reminded. He was about to go when he realized Kiba was sitting alone. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen the dog since they'd come back from the vet. "Where's Akamaru?"

"Um." Kiba looked away sheepishly. "He needed some private time. He's around town somewhere."

Iruka groaned. Threaten to neuter him and he took off to sow his oats. He should have seen that coming. "If any of my neighbors turn up with halfbreed pups, you're finding homes for them."

"Sure," Kiba said quickly.

This evening had proved one thing, Iruka decided, as he headed for bed. Sex was on the minds of everyone in his house and he wasn't getting any. This had to be payback for playing so hard to get. Karma sucked.

.-.

Sasuke had barely dozed off when Naruto showed up. As usual. He greeted him with equal parts frustration and annoyance. "You can't be doing this. Not now. Itachi is coming any day now. He could already be here."

"He's not," Naruto said quickly.

"You can't know that."

"I do. Kyuubi is keeping track of how many mutants are in town. He'll know if any leave, or if new ones show up. He'd know the second they get as close as Sisco."

Sasuke was struck dumb. Wary. That changed everything. He had to find a way to keep that fox occupied. "He can sense that far away?"

"And further." Naruto wasn't going to mention the three distant ones. They'd been stationary the entire time. Whoever they were, they weren't coming any closer. For all he knew, they lived in the next town over. Kyuubi had never tried sensing other mutants, certainly not that far away. Those three might have been living there since before they'd even moved to Lyberday. If not, he'd know the second they did start approaching. "So it's okay."

"I still need sleep," Sasuke said testily.

Naruto shifted, rubbing his socked toes on the floor, bashfully. "I didn't actually come for that." Though he wouldn't have passed up a chance to start some of 'that' if he saw an opening. "I've been having bad dreams. So I was wondering if I could, um, sleep with you."

If the way Naruto's voice trickled off hadn't proven his embarrassment, the blush certainly did. It was almost enough to make Sasuke feel guilty. Almost. "I can't share a bed with you." Sure enough, Naruto flinched. He ground his teeth. "It's not personal. I can't sleep with someone else."

"But you have," Naruto blurted. "You drank during the game, so..."

"That's why I can't," Sasuke said sharply. "The last time I did, he attacked me in my sleep. On Itachi's orders." Even if he'd trusted Naruto's fox not to try anything - which he didn't - he wouldn't be able to keep from lashing out the second Naruto so much as rolled over. Assuming he could fall asleep at all with someone that close to him.

"Was he a friend?" asked Naruto.

"I thought so," Sasuke muttered. He'd been so stupid back then. "He's the one with water talents. I told you how that turned out. He's also the one who called to tell me about Kabuto."

"So he's one of them now."

"He was under Itachi's thumb all along. It was just a ploy to make me trust him so he could stab me in the back. I was naive enough to fall for it."

"You know I wouldn't do that," said Naruto. "I've never even met your brother."

"It doesn't matter." Sasuke looked him over. Rumpled, tired, awkward. "What have you been dreaming about?" Naruto stared determinedly at his feet. He sighed. "Take the bed."

"What? Really?" Naruto's head snapped up. He barely had a chance to get excited before it dimmed. Sasuke crossed to the closet and pulled out a jacket, slinging it over his shoulders. "What are you doing? Where are you going?"

"No where." He went to the corner by the window, at the foot of the bed. He sat down, making himself comfortable. Naruto remained frozen with a stricken expression on his face. Sasuke waved at the bed. "Go ahead."

"I'm not kicking you out of your own bed," Naruto blurted. He couldn't believe the way this was going. It had been a stupid idea to start with. Just because Sasuke played a leading role in his nightmares didn't mean he wanted to punish him for it. Sasuke probably thought he was acting like a toddler. He could damned well sleep by himself. "Nevermind. This was a stupid idea, anyway."

"I don't mind." He shrugged when Naruto looked at him. "I can't share it with you, so just take it." What else could he offer? Hugs and reassurances? Kisses? Well, he could offer kisses, but he wasn't going to unless Naruto forced him to. He wanted to get to sleep some time tonight. He sighed again, letting his head drop. "Don't be stubborn. Just lay down and go to sleep."

Naruto got in the bed. It was still warm. He'd much rather have been down on the chilly floor next to Sasuke, though. This had been such a bad idea. He'd mostly just wanted to make sure Sasuke was okay. He didn't like leaving him alone at night because if his brother did slip in past Kyuubi's senses, then night was when he'd probably go after Sasuke. When he was alone. They only time he was alone. Naruto was making sure of that. He curled under the covers and listened hard, trying to hear Sasuke's breathing in the room. Barely audible, but there. That was enough to keep the nightmares away. His at least. Kyuubi wouldn't talk about his dreams, so he couldn't help with that.

Hours later, Sasuke was wakened by motion. A brush against the hair next to his face. There was a pale arm reaching out from behind the curtains. He was on the other side of the room in a heartbeat, back to the corner, sharingan locked on the window. No arm. No motion. Just the jacket that had fallen when he bolted. Movement wrenched his gaze to the bed. Naruto. Sitting up groggily, staring over at him.

"Sasuke...?"

At the sound of his voice, something pale shifted in the shadows under the bed. Sasuke's eyes snapped down, trying and failing to see through it. He could see in the dark. Why couldn't he see under there? Naruto started to swing his legs over the edge of the bed. He flinched. "Don't move! Something's under there."

Naruto froze, frightened by the visible panic on Sasuke's face. 'Kyuubi?'

'I don't sense or smell anything,' Kyuubi said quickly. He'd only been in a light doze. 'The number of mutants hasn't changed. They're all where they usually are.'

"Are you sure it wasn't a dream?" Naruto asked, whispering. If there was something under the bed, then whispering probably wouldn't help. But Sasuke looked like he'd jump out of his skin if he spoke any louder.

"No," said Sasuke. He wasn't sure at all. He wasn't even sure he was awake now. Why couldn't he see under there? Was it clinging to the bottom of the mattress, hiding out of sight? He took a slow step toward the bed. Gray over black. A pale flash flying through the air. His hands flew up, catching it a foot from his face. It twisted around his right arm and chomped down on his left. He tore it apart before he even realized what it was.

"Sasuke!" Naruto rushed to him, stopping short at the last second. The head of the thing was still attached to Sasuke's arm, the rest lay in bloody white tatters at his feet. The head looked like some sort of big flat snake, but the body had tiny lizard-like legs. They continued to kick feebly as the blood blackened on the floor. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you! Kyuubi didn't sense anything, so I thought-" He closed his mouth. Babbling wasn't helping. Blood was dripping from Sasuke's arm and he was just standing there, staring at the thing. Sasuke looked like he was in shock. "Sasuke? Hey! Let me get it off you, okay?"

"Don't touch the teeth." He stood motionless, watching as Naruto gripped the snout and chin and pried it loose. The jaws had snapped closed again before it even hit the floor. It rocked for a moment and then snapped at his foot. He jumped back, dragging Naruto along with him.

"What is it?" Naruto demanded. "What's wrong? It's dead, right? Sasu-"

Sasuke shoved him into the corner by the closet. There was a pale hand playing with the bottom of the curtains. Except there wasn't because the window was closed. His eyes fell. The creature's head was just where Naruto had dropped it, as if it had never snapped at him. He took a slow, deep, breath. "Naruto. Is the window closed?"

Naruto looked over his shoulder and cringed. A light breeze was wafting through the curtains. How could someone have opened the window without one of them hearing it? "It's open. That...thing...must have climbed up the side of the house and-"

"Naruto," Sasuke said sharply. He turned to him. "What color are my eyes?"

"Black...?"

"I have to get out of here."

"What are you talking about?" asked Naruto. "We've gotta take care of your arm." He reached out and was shocked when Sasuke skitted away from him. "Sasuke?"

"Stay back," Sasuke hissed. "I'm hallucinating. I'm-" His throat closed up. Itachi was standing beside the window. It wasn't real. Naruto wasn't reacting, so it couldn't be real. It looked real.

Naruto followed his gaze to the window. "I'll close it," he said quickly. "So no more of those things get in."

Sasuke caught the back of his shirt before he'd taken more than two steps. "Don't. There may be more under the bed."

"Then after I shut the window, I'll-" He was swung back into the corner so hard he winced at the impact. "Shit! That hurt, Sasuke!"

"Stay away from the window." Itachi was shaking his head at him. Hallucination or not, that venomous thing must have come in through the window. He didn't want Naruto anywhere near it.

"I'll have a clone do it," said Naruto. "Okay?" Sasuke stiffened as if he'd completely forgotten he could do that. He made a copy and knew Kyuubi had taken over by the fluid way it dropped to peer under the bed.

Sasuke couldn't help but stare at the clone. It had red fox ears, and a mess of tails sticking out of the back of its pants. When it rose and approached the window, Itachi was gone. He immediately whipped around, searching the rest of the room. The sound of the window sliding shut was enough to make him jump. "I have to get out of here."

"Why?"

Sasuke turned on him, furious that he could possibly be so dense. Then he lurched away. So that was where Itachi had gone. His heart was pounding so loudly he could barely hear Naruto's voice.

"Sasuke?"

"I'm seeing things that aren't real..."

"How would going outside make it better?" Naruto couldn't stand the way he was staring at him. "Whoever sent that thing could be waiting out there."

"I'm-" Something swiped at him from the side. He cut into it without waiting to see what it was. A waft of air told him. Naruto's clone. He clenched his fists and refused to look where he knew Naruto was standing. "I'm going to hurt someone. You."

"I'll heal," Naruto said flatly. "Look at me."

"I don't see you."

So who did he see? "Close your eyes." Sasuke flashed him a look of fury that changed to confusion and wariness of whatever he saw. "If you're seeing things, close your eyes. I'll take you to the bathroom and deal with your arm. It's still bleeding."

Sasuke took one look at the tooth marks in his arm and closed his eyes tight, his stomach lurching toward his throat. There were pale things wriggling in the circular holes. He could hear Naruto coming closer, but he still jumped when he touched him. The hallucinations were only visual right now. If this was anything like the last time, they'd extend to hearing and touch very quickly. "I really do need to get out of here, Naruto."

"Let me take care of your arm first." Naruto turned him toward the door. He made three clones on the way out of the room. That snake-lizard thing had no scent, but it must have left some kind of trail. If it was there to find, Kyuubi would find it. Sasuke let himself be led to the bathroom and didn't fuss while he rinsed his arm off in the sink. It wasn't until he leaned over the wounds that he pulled away.

"No licking," Sasuke grimaced. "It's poison."

"Venom, right? So you gotta suck it out." He sighed when Sasuke folded his arms, hiding the wounds. "I bet it wouldn't hurt me. But if you're worried about it, I'll have a clone do it."

Sasuke managed a faint snort. "You're finding a lot of uses for those."

"They're really useful," Naruto shot back. He was relieved that Sasuke was still able to pick at him. He set a clone to working on the bites, spitting into the sink. He couldn't see anything that looked like poison, though. Just blood and spit. He made him keep it up until Sasuke suddenly stamped one of his feet. As if he were a horse knocking a fly loose. A moment later his free arm swiped at his back. "Sasuke? Are you not just seeing things?"

Sasuke spoke through his teeth. "Is there anything in the tub?"

"No..."

"Then I"m not just seeing things." He jerked his arm away. If there was any venom left, he'd already absorbed it. He backed up until he found a wall and then slid down to the floor. His hands brushed over his legs. He knew it wasn't real. Knowing didn't help. He could feel it, hear it. If he opened his eyes, he'd see it. "Leave me alone."

"What?"

"It'll pass," Sasuke muttered. It had to. "It's not as bad this time." Maybe the white thing was different from the snakes Orochimaru had set on him. Or the antidote Itachi had dosed him with had built up some sort of immunity. Maybe it was just because he was bigger and he'd only been bitten once. He could still think. As long as he could think rationally, he could wait it out.

"What are you going to do?" asked Naruto.

"Wait," said Sasuke.

"Waiting won't do you any good."

That was Naruto's voice, but it had issued from the tub. Sasuke ignored it. "Don't let anyone in here. That way I'll know anything I hear isn't real."

"There's gotta be something I can do," Naruto frowned. He couldn't just leave him like this. "Maybe we can knock you out. So you sleep through it."

Sasuke huffed, amused despite himself. "I couldn't let you even if I wanted to. You saw what I did to that clone of yours."

"I didn't mean hitting you over the head or something!" He shot a quick look at the tub. Sasuke kept hunching away from it. He turned to his clone. "What do you think?"

"I know where Iruka-sensei hides them."

"It could make things worse."

"Worse than this?"

"Good point."

"Are you talking to yourself?" Sasuke demanded sharply.

Naruto winced at his harried tone. "Sorry. I was talking to my clone."

"Only two of you?"

"Uh. Yeah...?" He winced again when Sasuke banged his forehead on his knees. That must not have been the answer Sasuke was hoping for. He waved a hand at his clone. Making Sasuke sick was better than leaving him like this. He had to be losing it fast. Once the clone was gone, he crouched down as close to Sasuke as he dared. "Is it scary...?"

"No. It's frustrating. Infuriating. Confusing." He swiped viciously at his legs. "They won't stop touching me."

Naruto took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around Sasuke's shoulders. Sasuke stiffened, goosebumps breaking out all over his arms and legs. "It's just me," Naruto said quickly. "Just me."

"That's what he said," Sasuke spat.

Naruto's eyes widened. He shifted his hands so they covered Sasuke's ears.

"Naruto?"

"Yeah. Does it help?"

"Not really. But don't let go."

"Okay."

Sasuke concentrated on breathing as calmly as possible. Naruto's hands kept those squirming things from oozing into his ears. They'd have been after his nose if he hadn't had his face hidden against his knees. How the hell had he survived this as a child? He must have been terrified out of his mind. The bathroom door clicked open and he flinched in surprise. He'd heard it do that at least six times and it startled him every single time.

"Naruto?"

"What did you get him for!?"

"They weren't there!"

"I can't believe you even considered using them without talking to me first."

"Naruto?" asked Sasuke.

"Sorry," Naruto sighed. "It's my clone and Iruka-sensei."

"What!?" Sasuke's head shot up, his eyes flashing open. Suigetsu was in the bathtub, a wide grin floating at the top of the towering body of water. He snapped his eyes shut. He growled, "Naruto."

"I'm sorry!" Naruto winced. "I was trying to help!"

Iruka crouched beside him, his bleary eyes moving over Sasuke. He could heal the bite, but he couldn't do anything for poison. "Sasuke? Are you allergic to any drugs that you know of?"

"It's Iruka-sensei asking," Naruto said, when Sasuke gave no sign of having heard the question.

"No," said Sasuke.

"Are you using your talents now?" asked Iruka.

"I can't." He couldn't even use the sharingan to ignore his throbbing arm. He could have avoided most of the tactile sensations just by shielding.

"Try," said Iruka. "Activate the sharingan and then open your eyes for a minute."

Sasuke tensed. He didn't want to. He could still hear Suigetsu squishing around in the tub. If he opened his eyes long enough to see him splash down on him, the hallucinations were vivid enough that he might actually drown again.

"Here." Naruto turned his head toward them. "Just for a second. If you see anyone but me and Iruka-sensei, and a clone behind him, then you'll know it's not real."

"Knowing that doesn't help," Sasuke muttered. He activated the sharingan. He could feel his eyes changing, but when he pulled at his energy there was nothing. He opened his eyes just long enough to see a gaping mouth right in front of him. He couldn't stop himself from flinching away.

"Black," Naruto sighed, frowning up at Iruka. "They've been black since he was bitten. Maybe the poison makes it so he can't use them."

"Or control them," said Iruka. He turned to the clone. "Fetch Kakashi."

"No!" Sasuke's eyes flew open. This time he was angry enough to ignore the nightmarish things slobbering on him. Naruto and Iruka were somewhere among them. "All of you get out and leave me alone. None of this is helping." Dealing with them made it harder to ignore all the rest. "I'll wait it out."

"Sure you will," Suigetsu laugh. "You're doing a great job of it so far."

Sasuke snapped him a furious glare. "Stay out of it!" Something slimy wrapped around his ankle. He crushed a hand over it without bothering to look.

"Aw, now you've hurt his feelings. That one really likes you."

"Shut up!"

Sasuke snarled and tried to dive into the bathtub. Naruto had to use his full strength to keep him from it. "Red!" he yelped at Iruka. "They're totally red now! What do I do!?"

"Hold him down," said Iruka. "Talk to him."

"Sasuke? Sasuke, there's no one there. Sasuke? It's me. Come on, you can hear me. Sasu- Ow! Bastard! You bit me!"

"See?" Suigetsu grinned. "That's what I always liked about you. You're a mean little shit."

"Shut up or I swear to God I'll kill you!"

"Yeah? You and what army? I could drown you with my pinky." He waggled the digit in question.

Sasuke caught hold of the edge of the tub and tried to drag himself to it. The slimy things had been joined by furry things, all of them holding him down and pulling him backwards. He tried to knock them loose with a jolt of electricity, but his energy gave no response. His hand was yanked free of the tub. He ducked his head and chomped down on the furry thing circling his wrist. It yelped weirdly but held on tight. Suigetsu flicked water in his face and laughed. With a furious hiss, he bit the furry thing again, determined to chew right through it.

"Oh My God That Hurts!" Naruto wailed. He grabbed Sasuke's hair and tried to pry him loose without breaking his neck. "Sasuke! Don't eat my fingers! Please!?"

"Now might be a good time to try shielding," Iruka said weakly.

"Yeah, sure! 'Cause I can totally concentrate while he's- Shit! Sasuke! Can you chew through bone!? I'm gonna bleed to death!"

"Well," Kakashi drawled from the doorway. "I can see why you woke me up. Along with everyone else on the second floor."

"Do something," Iruka snapped.

"All right." Kakashi stepped into the room and leaned over the struggling pair. "Hey, Naruto. Grope him."

"What!? He's chewing through my fingers and you want me to make out with him!?"

"Well, I was going to suggest you kiss him, but he'd probably chew your lips off. So grope him. Nothing gets through to him like a dose of personal-space-invasion. Trust me." He put a hand on Iruka's shoulder and turned him away. "You don't want to see this."

Naruto let go of Sasuke's hair, reached around his bucking body, and grabbed his crotch. Sasuke stopped moving, absolutely frozen. "Sasuke? Can you hear me?" The teeth unclenched enough for him to pull his mutilated hand away. "Sasuke?"

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked warily.

"Yeah. It's me."

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to keep you from eating my fingers," Naruto admitted.

"Do you have fur?"

"No. I don't have much in the way of fingers left, either." His hand was healing as fast as he could make it, but it still hurt like hell. "Why are you trying to get into the tub, Sasuke?"

Sasuke tensed. "Why are you groping me in front of him?" he shot back.

Naruto groaned. "There's no one in the tub, Sasuke."

"That's right," Suigetsu grinned, waggling his fingers. "No one here but us imaginary water people. You two go right ahead and fuck. Don't mind me."

"You are so dead," Sasuke snarled at him. A rough twist at his privates had him hunching his shoulders. "Naruto. Stop molesting me in front of him!"

"There's. No one. In the tub. Sasuke." He curled his arm around Sasuke's chest and levered him back until he was sitting on his knees. "Nothing there. Not real. Remember? You knew that a few minutes ago."

"Yeah," said Suigetsu. He arced over the edge of the tub, frowning down at him. "You turning senile or something?" He flowed back, snickering, as Sasuke took a swipe at him. "Man, 'tachi would die if he saw you now. A hand on your cock the only thing keeping you from a total break down."

"I hate you! I always hated you!"

"Liar, liar, pants on fire. And they might as well be with your snuggle bunny groping the hell out of you. He's got some grip on him."

Groaning, Naruto held on for dear life to the snarling thing that used to be his cool-headed boyfriend. "Someone help me out here! He's going to start chewing on me any second now." A hand reached over his shoulder, two blue pills lying on the palm.

"Get those down him," said Kakashi.

"How am I supposed to do that!?"

"Easily." He popped the pills into Naruto's mouth and touched Sasuke's shoulder. The crazy kid was flattened so fast he choked mid-snarl. Kakashi kindly rolled him over for Naruto. "There you go. Get them down him and let me know when he passes out so I can take the weight off."

Naruto heaved a sigh of relief. He almost lost some fingers prying Sasuke's mouth open, but once he was kissing him, Sasuke froze again. His eyes were red and wild, but he didn't bite his tongue off. And he actually swallowed the pills with only one disgusted choke.

"Naruto?"

"Yeah."

"Why did you feed me maggots?"

"They weren't maggots," Naruto grimaced. He leaned close and kissed him again, on the lips this time. "Sasuke? I don't like you when you're crazy."

"Then why are your tails wagging?"

Naruto gave up trying to reason with him. "How many tails have I got?"

"They're wagging too fast to count." Sasuke's upper lip curled suddenly. "Tell him to shut up or let me go do it."

Glaring tiredly at the tub, Naruto growled, "Shut the fuck up or I'll make you give that faucet head."

Sasuke snorted in disgust, his eyes rolling in an attempt to see behind him. "You would enjoy that."

"Hey," Suigetsu shrugged. "I take my fun where I can get it. Speaking of which, there's a slimy little fellow two inches from your ear looking for a happy home."

"Naruto," Sasuke tensed. "Cover my ears or let me up."

"I'm not the one holding you down," Naruto sighed. "But okay, I got it." He covered Sasuke's ears and sent another look at the tub. Still empty. "Is it your brother?"

"Worse," Sasuke grimaced. "Much worse."

"I'll take that as a compliment!"

"Why don't you close your eyes," Naruto wheedled. "Give those pills a chance to..." Sasuke's eyes had faded to black. He leaned closer, hoping for clarity. "Sasuke?"

"It's your fault I can't trust anyone," he muttered. "I really hate you."

"Comes with the territory," said Suigetsu. "Sweet dreams. Maybe you'll see me when you wake up."

"I hope not," Sasuke mumbled.

Naruto waited a few minutes to make sure Sasuke was truly out of it. Then he turned to his clone, who was still guarding the door. Kakashi was waiting just outside. Along with Iruka, Sai, Sakura, and Ino. Naruto cringed when he saw them all. Sasuke was going to be so embarrassed when he woke up. Assuming he was sane enough to care.

Kakashi took the weight off and gave him a sweeping look with the sharingan. He winked at Iruka. "Like a charm. You can heal him now." He stepped out of the way, turning to the ones in the hallway. "You guys go back to bed. There won't be any more yelling tonight." At least, none where they could hear it. He shoed them away. "Go on. Show's over. You, too," he said to Sai. "He's outside your jurisdiction, remember?"

"Can you carry him to his room?" Iruka asked Naruto.

"I could, but I'm not going to. I sent some copies to find out how that poison thing got into his room. I haven't heard from them yet. I'll take him to my room."

"Keep an eye on him. If his breathing changes at all, come get me."

"Got it." He picked Sasuke up and sent one last look at the tub. His clone was still waiting. He nodded at him. "Get his notebook." That would give him something to do while he watched Sasuke sleep. And it was about time he read through it. It he wanted a name to go with the talent.

.-.

TBC