Darkness be my light
folder
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,089
Reviews:
47
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,089
Reviews:
47
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Cp4-emotional scuicide
Well because I was such a cow and took so long to do the last update *shifty eyes* I thought I'd do another short one to make up for it. The last one was done completely Naruto's POV so this one is Sasuke's :D yayyyy and thanks everone for the reviews. I get the impression you like the story when the only complains I get is about spelling o_o"
Anyway....bare with me on this chapter...because yes I do realize Sasuke seems a bit out of character here...but do take into account this is set after where the manga currently is. After naruto has dragged his ass back to Kanoha and beat some sense into him :P making Sasuke an offical member of the 'we got sense beaten into us my naruto' club....other proud members are! Neji, Tsunade, Gara...and that crazy little kid from the water country from their first mission with Haku (I forget his name)
He's still the stoic bastard he was before *sexy stoic bastard no less* but he's just a bit nicer to Naruto than before...because I mean serious...how can I have them make hot monkey sex with each other if Sasuke isn't somewhat nice to him....wait no...I know how I could...*ahem*...anyway moving right along
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Cp-4 Emotional Scuicide
Fingers coiled tightly into the front of my shirt as I felt him tremble in my arms. The anger I hate felt form his words before had melted away the minute he had started demanding I not care, started crying. I had always known he wore a mask, but I had just never known how much it had hidden. never suspected. Never thought to ask or worry because I didn't want to. Didn't want to care anymore, feel again.
That's why I had left the first time wasn't it?
To break away and allow my focus to fall souly on my need for revenge. I had been willing to give up so much for it. My life my freedom my friends. Driven by a desire for blood to repay blood. Blood for blood. Thinking about it now it sounded idiotic. You couldn't fight back a darkness with your own. You only fell deeper and lost sight of more.
I hadn't looked deeper because I needed what was on the surface. Needed to only see that sunshine and smile because I didn't have one of my own. He had been that light in the darkness. He had fought it back for me. Opened my eyes and made me see what I had. Forced me to realize there was so much more than this small little world I had created, that I could control and understand. What I had done wasn't too far away from what Naruto was doing now. Only I hadn't tried to kill myself like he had, but I had tried to let myself die...inside...emotional scuicide.
But he had dragged me back kicking and screaming. Made me live again until I had to accept that I wanted to actually feel. Needed life, needed warmth, needed friends. He'd given me life while he was dying inside and I hadn't realized. Hadn't let myself realize because if I saw those flaws back then I couldn't have handled it.
Now I was strong enough to see, when once upon a time I wouldn't have let myself care. I had to care now, wanted too. The dobe was the only one who had that kind of strength...he didn't even seem to realize it. God, how could he hide so much for so long like this and I had just given up. I wasn't letting go, not this time. I wasn't going to leave him in that darkness that would swallow him whole like it had tried to do me. Because, even if it was quiet and peacful there. it was cold and numb. Nothing living to say there and keep sane for long, not give up a piece of humanity to it as payment for it's carnal care.
No, dammit. That wasn't going to happen! Not to Naruto!
"You need to eat something Dobe." Even I could hear the concurn tainting my tone, and for once, I couldn't care less how I sounded as long as he knew.
"Why Sasuke..." His voice quavered. "...Why do you care?"
I shifted softly to look down at him and he suddeny clung tighter, like he was afraid I was trying to leave him. I felt his breath hitch against my shoulder with panic and I stopped, my hand smoothing up and down the column of his spine instinctively. Trying to stroke away his doubts with a care that surprised me. Because I didn't even know I had it...and I probably didn't, not for anyone else.
"I already told you, Dobe. because you're my friend." He remained quiet and I knew it wasn't enough because there was more. "No not just my friend. My best friend. My rival and someone I respect. I don't want you dead..."
Something tightened in my chest and it hurt. A fear. Not the fear I felt with Itachi. Not the fear I had once felt about letting someone close. This fear was painful and sharp to the point of making me ill. The sort fo fear that reminded me, I nearly lost him, he almost did die. The dead don't come back. Their memories don't feel warm again after that. You don't feel warm again after that. Gezus this hurt and made me sick. Shock, I guess it was shock.
My hold tightened about the warm living bundle in my arms.
'don't ever do that again, don't you ever try leaving me behind.' I thought but the words wouldn't form on my lips. Instead. "Let's get you some food." Was what I said.
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Horrible charpter I know....I'M SO SORRY!!!! *sobs*
Anyway....bare with me on this chapter...because yes I do realize Sasuke seems a bit out of character here...but do take into account this is set after where the manga currently is. After naruto has dragged his ass back to Kanoha and beat some sense into him :P making Sasuke an offical member of the 'we got sense beaten into us my naruto' club....other proud members are! Neji, Tsunade, Gara...and that crazy little kid from the water country from their first mission with Haku (I forget his name)
He's still the stoic bastard he was before *sexy stoic bastard no less* but he's just a bit nicer to Naruto than before...because I mean serious...how can I have them make hot monkey sex with each other if Sasuke isn't somewhat nice to him....wait no...I know how I could...*ahem*...anyway moving right along
--------
Cp-4 Emotional Scuicide
Fingers coiled tightly into the front of my shirt as I felt him tremble in my arms. The anger I hate felt form his words before had melted away the minute he had started demanding I not care, started crying. I had always known he wore a mask, but I had just never known how much it had hidden. never suspected. Never thought to ask or worry because I didn't want to. Didn't want to care anymore, feel again.
That's why I had left the first time wasn't it?
To break away and allow my focus to fall souly on my need for revenge. I had been willing to give up so much for it. My life my freedom my friends. Driven by a desire for blood to repay blood. Blood for blood. Thinking about it now it sounded idiotic. You couldn't fight back a darkness with your own. You only fell deeper and lost sight of more.
I hadn't looked deeper because I needed what was on the surface. Needed to only see that sunshine and smile because I didn't have one of my own. He had been that light in the darkness. He had fought it back for me. Opened my eyes and made me see what I had. Forced me to realize there was so much more than this small little world I had created, that I could control and understand. What I had done wasn't too far away from what Naruto was doing now. Only I hadn't tried to kill myself like he had, but I had tried to let myself die...inside...emotional scuicide.
But he had dragged me back kicking and screaming. Made me live again until I had to accept that I wanted to actually feel. Needed life, needed warmth, needed friends. He'd given me life while he was dying inside and I hadn't realized. Hadn't let myself realize because if I saw those flaws back then I couldn't have handled it.
Now I was strong enough to see, when once upon a time I wouldn't have let myself care. I had to care now, wanted too. The dobe was the only one who had that kind of strength...he didn't even seem to realize it. God, how could he hide so much for so long like this and I had just given up. I wasn't letting go, not this time. I wasn't going to leave him in that darkness that would swallow him whole like it had tried to do me. Because, even if it was quiet and peacful there. it was cold and numb. Nothing living to say there and keep sane for long, not give up a piece of humanity to it as payment for it's carnal care.
No, dammit. That wasn't going to happen! Not to Naruto!
"You need to eat something Dobe." Even I could hear the concurn tainting my tone, and for once, I couldn't care less how I sounded as long as he knew.
"Why Sasuke..." His voice quavered. "...Why do you care?"
I shifted softly to look down at him and he suddeny clung tighter, like he was afraid I was trying to leave him. I felt his breath hitch against my shoulder with panic and I stopped, my hand smoothing up and down the column of his spine instinctively. Trying to stroke away his doubts with a care that surprised me. Because I didn't even know I had it...and I probably didn't, not for anyone else.
"I already told you, Dobe. because you're my friend." He remained quiet and I knew it wasn't enough because there was more. "No not just my friend. My best friend. My rival and someone I respect. I don't want you dead..."
Something tightened in my chest and it hurt. A fear. Not the fear I felt with Itachi. Not the fear I had once felt about letting someone close. This fear was painful and sharp to the point of making me ill. The sort fo fear that reminded me, I nearly lost him, he almost did die. The dead don't come back. Their memories don't feel warm again after that. You don't feel warm again after that. Gezus this hurt and made me sick. Shock, I guess it was shock.
My hold tightened about the warm living bundle in my arms.
'don't ever do that again, don't you ever try leaving me behind.' I thought but the words wouldn't form on my lips. Instead. "Let's get you some food." Was what I said.
----------
Horrible charpter I know....I'M SO SORRY!!!! *sobs*