You Possessive Bastard!

Beta: Lana nee-chan! a.k.a. hourglasssand on Lj
Rating: PG-13... for now
Disclaimer: Yes!! Naruto belongs to ME!!! *snores in her sleep*
Warning: Yaoi, Crack, Creepy Possessive!Sasuke, and some minor cussing
Author Notes: I hope this is long enough now... Cats have veeeery short attention span. I'm all tuckered out now *pouts*

________________________________________
Chapter Three: It's WHO?!!
_________________________________________
Last Time...


"You see... umm I... Ittaaaai!!!! Bastard, you bit me!" the loud ninja pointed accusingly at Sasuke and retracted his hand, realizing a second too late that it was not the smartest choice.


"It was..."

_________________________________________


"GAARA!! IT WAS GAARA!!"


Naruto screeched at the top of his voice, interrupting his boyfriend at mid-revelation-of-the-year once again.


This time, even the birds stopped to stare.


'AHHHHH!! Shit, shit, shit!!! Why did I have to say Gaara of all people! That panda's frigging asexual!! Even if he's not, who knows whoever that got together with him would get sand in God knows where...' Shuddering at the horrifying mental image of sandpapered skin, the loud blond glanced at his amused sensei and gaping Sakura, before landing his gaze tentatively on Sasuke.


Wait a second... Was that even a natural skin tone? He swore that the brunet's skin was most definitely not purple a minute ago.


With no warning but a whoosh of air, Naruto found himself forcefully pinned to the bridge railings and almost toppled over into the stream below, only saved by the painfully tight grip on both of his shoulders by none other than the livid Uchiha heir himself.


"Care to repeat what you just said, Usuratonkachi?" Sasuke hissed through clenched teeth, his ebony eyes inches away from the wide cerulean ones. "I'm certain that the name was pronounced quite differently."


The whiskered boy started to shake his head in reflective shock when crimson seeped into the once coal black eyes and he stopped abruptly, entranced by the hypnotizing wheels of his lover's bloodline limit up close.


He was about to ask Sasuke to start spinning the commas again, but quickly sobered up enough to realize exactly why the commas were there in the first place that the words that was brimming with rage and jealousy finally registered into his dense, blond head. He considered running for his life, but he knew he won't get far.


Tilting his head back to get a better view of the taller boy's face, Naruto gulped audibly when he saw the maniacal glint in Sasuke's Sharingan eyes that promised a torturous and drawn-out death with the assistance of a blunt kunai and dental floss if he dared to even think about the possibilities of adding on to that absurd lie.


The tensed stillness was broken about a minute later when Sakura blurted out in an obviously false cheerfulness, "Hey! Isn't that Kiba and Shino?" She waved mechanically in an imitation of what Naruto would usually do, all the while slinking warily away from her team mates who were still frozen in the same pose with the smaller boy turning his head to face his two arriving friends.


"H-hi guys! Ehehehe... What brings you here? Ni-nice weather isn't it?" Naruto stammered with a strained smile, doing his best to ignore the agonizingly intense glare the other boy had boring a hole into him.


Kiba disregarded Naruto's inane questions and constipated grimace and started walking towards the pair stopping dangerously close to the killing intent the pale boy was emitting.


"Whoa, Naruto!" the dog lover exclaimed, "Hinata wasn't exaggerating when she said you were covered with hickeys!"


"She was all like 'Na-naruto-kun... neck... hi-hickeys... All over him!'" Kiba mimicked the mortified Hyuuga and twiddled his thumbs mockingly. "Who's the wildcat you hooked up with that made these?!" He pointed at Naruto's neck dramatically while shifting to look incredulously at Shino that was holding his waist, preventing him from moving too close to the danger zone.


"I-it's none of your business, dog breath! Go make out with your dog or something!" Naruto shouted from under his boyfriend, his embarrassment fueling his anger.


Kiba growled uncannily like his dog as Akamaru snarled, "Did Sasuke stick a stick up your ass, fart boy?" He spared a glance at the glowering Uchiha. "I was just asking you a question!"


"Wha-what?!" Naruto spluttered at the unintentional spot-on insult and blushed furiously for the umpteenth time. "Why do you even want to know, you... you mutt?!"


With that, Sasuke lifted his kitsune bodily up from the bridge by the grip he had on his shoulders, swerved slowly around, and plonked him down in front of Kiba and Shino. "You better fix this, idiot", the brunet whispered threateningly, his face strangely blank while he turned Naruto around to face the creatures loving pair.


Naruto stood there awkwardly gaping at the two boys, thinking if he would rather incur the wrath of a psychotic ex-missing nin that doubled as his boyfriend behind him, or the wrath of a million villagers and obsessed kunoichis after the words were spread. He came to a decision fairly quickly when he felt the pale hands still on his shoulders slide menacingly towards his jugular with each passing second.


"It was Gaara".


Another silence.


Kakashi crinkled his visible eye at the group of chuunins looking at him "Naruto said so himself."


"You're gay?!" Kiba's slitted eyes widened comically as he strived to recover from the shock.


Behind the small blond, the dark ninja snapped, distracted by the overly animated boy "Is there anything wrong with that?!"


Kiba took an unconscious step back from the red-eyed dark avenger as he hurriedly said, "Of course not! It's like, it's just too unexpected you know? Him running around all the time in Sexy no jutsu form and shit. Me and Shino is a bit different you know? We don't-"


The mindless babble was brought to an end when the dog lover felt a harsh kick on his heel and clapped his hands onto his mouth, realizing belately what kind of information he just unveiled to the whole of ex-Team Seven.


"Idiot", Shino mumbled and hit his head in exasperation.


Moving nearer to the group, Sakura chirped, "You and him?! That's sooo cute! You two look so good together! When was that? No wonder Hinata always say that the both of you go missing every time after training! Who else knows? Are you guys keeping this from her too?"


Sasuke inwardly fumed at the exchanged glances of the other pair of lovers. What was wrong with his plans? He wanted people to know about the dobe and him, not about Shino and Kiba! He simply... preferred Naruto to be the one to say it. And what was wrong with the perverted sensei that he had to futher mess up his plans? His kitsune and the raccoon boy?! Blood would flow like rivers first, he swore.


"Sa-sasuke?" the Kyuubi holder ventured and turned around to see that his boyfriend had directed his withering glare to the gleeful trouble making jounin.


He had wanted to simply spill everything and get it over with, but now what? Kakashi had caught Sasuke and him making out during training more than enough times, so he definitely know about them. Why did he do that deliberately then? Naruto scowled at his sensei as well. Reading too much porn must have destroyed the silver haired man's brain!


The murderous aura radiated stronger and stronger from the pale Uchiha as Sakura bombarded Kiba and Shino with a ceaseless flow of questions that even Akamaru felt it and whined piteously.


"I think we better go", the normally quiet Aburame stated as Kiba nodded his head vigorously. "I still have to walk Akamaru, right?" the small dog perched on top of his head barked in approval and the three escaped as fast as they could away from the pink chatter box and the choking tension.


"So... since today is so eventful", the jounin paused as his student activated his Sharingan again. "I'm canceling training but remember to meet for the festival tomorrow. Attention is compulsory, ja ne!" Kakashi quickly finished his speech as Sasuke reached for his weapon pouch and disappeared in the usual 'poof' of smoke.


The three was left standing in confusion and one in fury at the weird turn of events when Sakura suddenly giggled unnaturally, "I- I have to go see Ino-pig and Lee! Bye Naruto! Bye, Sasuke-kun!"


As the pink haired girl dashed away from them, Naruto had an urge to kneel and beg her come back and to not to leave him alone with the seething Uchiha. He looked below the bridge and considered drowning himself in the ankle deep stream when hot air ghosted on his right ear from behind, "Looks like we'll have to settle this in my place, dobe".


Naruto shivered in fear.


XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX


The walk to Sasuke's place was uncharacteristically quiet. Not for Sasuke of course, he enjoyed this occasional silence and made a mental note to scare his kitsune more often.


But for the usually boisterous ninja; it was a bit disconcerting for the villagers to see him so muted with the other. The villagers almost missed the peace without Sasuke when the pair had leveled a third of Konoha's surrounding forests in an explosion they dubbed 'training' not long after the Uchiha was back. Naruto was shouting curses the whole village could hear with him silently goading him along with his condensing smirk.


The pair continued to walk slowly to Sasuke's apartment with Naruto trudging sluggishly a few paces behind and self consciously bowing his head, sneaking peeks at the Uchiha through his golden bangs.


"Sasuke..." the silence was broken.


Said boy brushed off his companion and resumed freezing the air with his glare since there was no villager ignorant enough to not give them a wide berth at the peculiar atmosphere.


"Sasuke temeeee..." louder this time, with a bit of a whine.


"Hn" the pale boy knew from years of experience that if he didn't acknowledge Naruto, he'll soon be pestered enough to reply anyway.


"What do you mean by 'settle this'?" the whiskered boy tilted his head. "And why at your place?"


Sasuke halted and spun around without warning, pushing his face into the tanned one, causing Naruto to pull back. "Are you sure you want to know right now?"


Naruto was about to formulate a reply when the pale face in front of him widened into a malicious sneer.


Riiiight... Maybe he didn't need to know right now. Heck, he didn't want to know period! His eyes darted left and right as he searched for a means of escape from this devil incarnate.


However, the dark ninja saw the nervous gesture and grabbed his wrist, restraining him from implementing anything he thought up in his head and moved faster towards his apartment, dragging his kitsune along like a doll.


"Are you still angry about just now?" Naruto winced right after asking the question. Even he himself knew that the sentence was stupid.


"No".


Azure eyes widened, "Really?"


"No", Sasuke smirked. He could picture that the tanned boy he had in his grasp flushing in annoyance with a cute pout on his face. Served him right, he scoffed. Gaara?! What the hell?!


"Jerk", the small blond muttered. "It's not like it's all my fault, you asshole!" he had a habit of surprising people while he was in a panic, and there was no exception this time. The pale boy should know about this the most; they are lovers, for goodness sake!


Sasuke's glare narrowed, and he silently fumed, not seeing any way where it WASN'T Naruto's fault.


"Hn"


Trying to get Sasuke to talk more would be pointless by now. Naruto was certain that the ice bastard carried a record of his daily word count somewhere around and reverted to being mono-syllabic every time he reached his word limit.


"We're here, baka" Sasuke drawled and raised an eyebrow at the crystal blue eyes scanning his back pockets suspiciously.


"I- I know! Bastard!" Naruto entered after the pale boy unlocked the door, flustered that he caught him in one of his musings. "What are you looking for?" he asked, suddenly nervous again by the brunet rummaging in the closet.


"This" the smaller boy jolted in astonishment at the voice at his right ear, again. Show off. He never really mastered seeing Sasuke move at Lee's speed without Kyuubi's aid and the jerk knows it! "Stop doing that!" he complained as he heard a tiny 'click' of a clasp and something dry and scratchy rested on his neck.


Lifting his hands to finger it, Naruto's jaws dropped in horror after he comprehended what it was.


"You... You-you!" he gaped, "Crazy bastard, you! Take it off!!"

_____________________________________________

Don't hit me!! I like Gaara too, he is hot!! It's just vital in my story for Naru-chan and 'Suke-kun to diss him a little... *runs off* Ehehehe.... Like it?? Long enough?? I guess all of you already know what Sasuke did to his poor blond kitsune ^^ I'm constantly editing my story(The curse of being a perfectionist T_T) so check back once in a while to see what I've added in the previous chapters. I've edited and added some things here and there and lengthened the Prologue quite a bit so you might get a good laugh out of it ^^

With regrads to the prequel... It'll have to wait a bit ^^; I can only focus on one thing at a time...

Also, please take a look at my challenge for authors, ok?
http ://www. livejournal. com/ community/ sasuxnaru/ 561125. html
Just remove the spaces, thank you!!

Please review!! Tell me whacha like and don't like about this so that I'll improve, not just 'Update now!!!' types when I posted the story just minutes ago ^^; You know, I do need some rest once in a while... Tell me what do you think will happen too!!

I know I already have tons of reviews and I'm very thankful for it, but a long critic here or something funny there would really make my day *nods* I'll be able to write faster too ^^ It's difficult to write crack when you're not in a crazy enough good mood, ya know? My sanity always has to be 'kaput' more than usual when I write this story @_@
So please, R & R people!!