Pimping Out Lil' Sasuke

Lil’ Sasuke was hiding from his fangirls when he saw it. It lay on the black soil of the school garden, sleek fleshy red contrasting with the dark ground and surrounded by varicoloured vegetation, beefy and aromatic, excluding the promise of spicy and tangy taste.

A tomato.

Carefully he drew near. There was no one in sight.

Sasuke put forth his hand to touch it. It was the epitome of perfection, its skin smooth and firm. He could almost taste the yummy salty juice contained in its sweet, sweet flesh. Not being able to contain it anymore despite the danger of being discovered he threw himself at his treasure and devoured it. It tasted every bit as perfect as he imagined. He yearned for more. But, alas, there was no tomato plant in sight. Where did the wonderful fruit come from?

Unconsciously he licked his lips gathering the last remains of salty sap from his mouth and chin. Unbeknownst to him, watchful eyes absorbed each and every movement of the boy’s lissome pink tongue. Sasuke was, however, oblivious to his surroundings now. Desperate to find a second yummy Love-Apple he searched the ground, crawling on his knees to detect the smallest hint of its whereabouts and presenting another yummy love-apple to his nameless observer. Yes, ladies and gents, it was yummy and it was only covered by the bFAG’s standard school uniform skirt that was really, really short. And underneath it peered bright yellow panties and rosy skin. The nameless observer really had a hard time now containing himself from throwing himself at his prey. But if he followed the plan, he would enjoy it soon enough.

Finally Sasuke stood up and cleaned his clothes. He was disappointed and very, very sad. The fates were cruel: he didn’t find another tomato. But, wait, what was this promising sheen in the distance? Another tomato? Yes, it was. And it lay near the exit. Hastily Sasuke made his way to the exit and grabbed the tomato. He was about to ingest it when he saw another one lying innocently on the street outside. Hurry up, Sasuke, someone might get it before you. With gazelle-like grace our hero jumped over the closed exit gate and landed on the street. Now he held a tomato in each hand. Life was good.

And life was soon to become even better because he spotted another red object in the distance. School and lessons forgotten, he ran to it, skirt flattering in the wind. And, oh joy, it was another one! And now he was on their trail like a real hunter-nin: everytime he discovered a tomato there was already another one waiting for him in the distance. He made an improvised basket by holding the front of his skirt up to gather his treasure. Soon it contained a dozen of them, carefully supported by a dainty white hand.

Only when he found the last of them, did Sasuke look up. His hunt had led him to an unknown place in the forest. He seemed to be in a small and secluded clearing surrounded by mighty oak trees. The sun shone down on him and the grass beneath his feet felt soft and inviting. Suddenly he felt, how tired he’d become. With a deep-drawn sigh he settled down on the ground and started to pile up all tomatoes in a pyramid shape. He lay belly-down on the moist sun-warmed ground, sometimes raising one shank lazily and wiggling it, then lowering it again. It was summer and the air was humid and heated, butterflies sailing through it like torn off flowers. The forest was quiet.

Sasuke felt content. It was all so nice. Slowly he took the tomato from the top of the heap, polished it with the grass and licked it thoughtfully. Then he bit into it. Juice squirted out. He licked it up. Then bit the tomato again, forcefully. Another splash of liquid hit his face. He licked it up. Bite. Lick. Bite. Lick. Chew.

Bite. Lick. Bite. Lick. Chew.

Bite. Lick. Bite. Lick. Chew.

The nameless observer who shan’t remain nameless anymore couldn’t endure it anymore. With a war cry he sprinted down the tree where he was hiding and sped towards the tomato-enamoured boy in the clearing.

Sasuke tried to look up when suddenly something heavy and warm hit him. Hands were all over his body and a warm tongue licked the tomato juice from his face. But that was his tomato juice! The intruder wanted his tomatoes! No, never! Sasuke would fight!

He bit the stranger and then knied him in the groin, then flipped him over and straddled him.

“Hyuuga Neji! What are you doing here? Did you want to steal my treasure?” – inquired Sasuke.

Neji blushed. He was indeed here to steal Sasuke’s treasure, even if it wasn’t the treasure Sasuke thought of. He dropped his gaze in defeat. Sasuke had seen through him.

Sasuke took this as a sign of affirmation. He was enraged. His tomatoes!

“My preccioussssss….”

Neji shuddered. When Sasuke was like this, he was really scary. You could see that someday he would become a great ninja. The greatest of the Uchiha clan. And the most beautiful. Neji blushed harder. Sasuke sitting on him didn’t improve the situation.

“How could you try to steal my tomatoes, Hyuuga!” – raged Sasuke in the meantime. “I had thought better of you.”

“Tomatoes?”, - asked Neji incredulously. “But I laid them myself here for you to lure you to this secluded forest clearing with pretty butterflies and surrounded by mighty oak trees where no one would hear you when I’d ravish you. You are my treasure, Sasuke.”

Sasuke just glared at him. “You mean, you are not here to steal the tomatoes?”

Neji nodded.

“You laid them here? For me?”

Neji nodded again.

“This tasty tomatoes and all for me?”

Neji nodded. Perhaps the situation wasn’t so bad.
“To the end of ravishing me here.”

Here Sasuke’s voice became cold. Neji gulped. Or perhaps it was even worse.

“Well, then, I have to teach a lesson, haven’t I, Neji?” - purred Sasuke. And he took another tomato and squeezed it over Neji’s face, then proceeded to lick it off. The remaining tomato pap he put into Neji’s mouth and then proceeded to eat it. Literally. His tongue got in places where even a toothbrush wouldn’t reach.

The next tomato was smeared across Neji’s chest. And the next one at his abdomen. They were eaten with much delight.

The next one was smeared even lower. Neji didn’t dare breathing. It was like his dreams coming true. Better! It was fate!

Then he felt a soft bite there and froze. Sasuke smiled at him beautifully. Then he clacked playfully with his sharp pearly-white teeth. Neji paled. He hated fate.

“Don’t worry, Neji-kun. I like tomatoes. But I like cucumbers too.”

Neji dared to breath again.

“And what do you do with them, Sasuke-kun?”

“Why, I suck them of course.”

Neji was in heaven.

_____________

The next morning saw Itachi frowning on a present basket full with vegetables. Most prevalent were tomatoes and cucumber. The dedication just read “To Sasuke”. Itachi growled: it seemed that he had a serious rival.

_____________

Hinata was relieved. Her cousin had finally started eating healthy food instead of just swallowing soldier pills. Her lectures must have paid off (she gave them to him written on scrolls to avoid stammering).

Smiling, she put tomatoes on her shopping list: Neji-kun was really devoted to tomatoes now.