Our most featured Naruto

A/N: Sorry if this chapter isn’t chapter up to scratch, I just contracted denge fever (mosquito disease) and I wrote this on my bed in the hospital with REALLY nothing better to do. I had to ask my friend to submit this for me, and if your reading this, then obviously she did. This kind of an intermission or whatever, just a tiny glimpse at the characters. Please be nice, I am sick after all. (-:
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Chapter Three: Friends and Lies

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Ring…ring…ring…

‘I am one with the world…I am one with the world…’

Ring…ring…ring…

‘I am one with my chakra…I am one with my chakra…’

Ring…ring…ring…

‘The phone is not my enemy…the phone is not my enemy…’

Ring…ring…ring…

‘…’

RING…RING…RING…

‘FINE GODDAMIT!!’ Inner Sakura screamed in rage, as outer Sakura tried to salvage as much peace and tranquility as she could, but it was no use. She didn’t like being disturbed during her tantric yoga sessions. Twenty-three hours of the day she was the loud, boisterous, and fruitlessly obsessed pink-haired girl that everyone knew and loved was such a strong word… But for just a full sixty minutes she allowed herself to transform into a symbol of serenity and transcend completely to a whole other plane away from the cacophony of life.

But unfortunately, life had slithered through a crack on the inter dimensional wall and trounced on her solitude like a bear to a carp. She reluctantly let go of the image of Buddha’s eternally grinning face in exchange for the unwelcome sight of her bedroom as she opened her eyes. She found herself in a position that would have been impossible for anyone she knew, except for Rock Lee. During meditation, she had let her body choose its form and allowed her mind to wander elsewhere. Both heels of her feet were currently on her shoulders, her slender figure in a perfect loop, as her hands kept her from rolling off. She growled at the irritating sounds her phone made, forcing her to prematurely revert back to Haruno Sakura. She still had twenty minutes left dammit!

She begrudgingly let herself roll off her mat and went like a tire towards her bed where her phone was. She was used to being mobile in that position, she even rolled down to school once, but that was earlier on when she had the immature need to show off, and before she found out that staying in that position for too long had terrible effects. So terrible that the janitor and school nurse had to straighten her body back with a crowbar and a giant rolling pin. Since then, she had learned to make smarter choices, and learned the hard lesson to not subject herself to extreme humiliation and not give the chance to be put on the school paper, under the headline, “Girl too ‘tired’ to stand straight”.

Before mother would ever get the chance to use the family rolling pin, she easily straightened herself once more, her feet off her shoulders. She stretched briefly to remove the kinks from her muscles and exhaled contentedly, feeling rejuvenated. She fixed her hair a bit like any girl should. Her personality having been switched with that of a howler monkey’s in a span of a second, she dived for the phone on her bed with the grace of a pink torpedo.

“Sasuke-kun?!” She bellowed with anticipation, having not an ounce of sanity, or doubt in her mind that it was her boyfriend calling to inquire about her wellbeing and if whether she wanted to sail to Ireland and make love on a patch of flowers under the full moon while being sang to by leprechauns as Sasuke would declare his never-ending love for her in between soft moans of passion while her love thru-

“Uh…no. Just me…”

“Oh…Ino…” She bowed her head in disappointment. Was her wish SO hard to grant? “What do you want Ino-pig?”

“Nice to hear from you too forehead girl!”

“Yeah whatever. So where’s Sasuke-kun?” She expected an answer to that question for it was always Ino who would know where her love muffin lurked on weekends. Even though she had never once seen Sasuke in any of the places Ino would reveal to her, she suspected that she had always been just too late. She failed to catch her love on the subway, or in Starbucks, not in the curb with the hookers, or even in that Celine Dion concert, her love was always out of her reach. A VERY tiny part of her consciousness had been bugging her that MAYBE Ino had been lying to her and that her future husband was actually avoiding her. But that was a very small part so she gave it no heed.

“Well…actually. I have no idea where he is right now.”

Storm clouds appeared above Sakura’s pink head; for once again her emotions were overcast. When she found out that Sasuke was taking a photo shoot, she rushed over to the studio where he worked and spent the entire night gawking at her love’s perfection until the wee hours of the morning. For all that time though, he hadn’t spared her a single glance, but she figured that he had just been tired. Or was she too stubborn?

When Ino sensed that Sakura would not be committed to speak further, she did. “Um…Sakura? I actually called to ask you something.”

It took a number of moments before her mind registered that Ino was still there. She shook her head, ridding herself of all painful thoughts. She was a poster child for optimism. “So? What is it Ino-pig? Spit it out!”

Ino muttered something about split personality disorder that Sakura did not catch. “Yeah…well…did you use the internet today?”

“No…I just woke up. And I was doing my exercises till you called you pig! Why are you asking anyway?” Sakura was getting annoyed. Was that all?

It seemed that the blond was thinking about it before she answered. “Well…uh…you see…the thing is…” And then suddenly, a light bulb of inspiration flickered to life. “There’s a virus!”

Sakura raised a colorful eyebrow, hoping she hadn’t heard right. “A virus?” She asked, sounding skeptical.

Ino’s chest puffed up in victory, proud of her superior problem solving intellect. “Yes, forehead girl. A virus.” She declared proudly, hoping it would end at that.

Sakura however, didn’t get it. “What the hell do you mean by ‘virus’?”

The blond instantly deflated, fearing that she would be forced to elaborate. ‘Sasuke better pay me back in gold for this!’ “A virus! You know…one of those really bad internet viruses that kill computers with…internet.” She cringed at her unintelligent explanation of a common web virus.

The pink-haired girl was no where near convinced and she suspected Ino was up to something. “Well…what’s the virus called?”

Ino started to sweat. The excuses had already gotten WAY out of hand, but if she didn’t continue, it would all fall apart and the damn Uchiha would condemn her to poverty. A name… She had to think of a name! She thought of the Y2k virus, but obviously wouldn’t do, and so she… “B2k Virus!

Sakura could only gape at the phone she was holding. “What?”

Ino cleared her throat. “I said…B2k Virus…forehead girl”, she added to be convincing.

The mouse in Sakura’s head just didn’t click. “B2k…? But isn’t that-”

“I know!” The desperate blond cut her off. “A VERY bad virus! It’s already contaminated the entire neighborhood!” Oh shit…

“Wow…that sounds bad. What does it do?”

Ino quickly rummaged through her box of ideas, ideas that would pour any sense to the things she had just said. “What does it do? Well…um…it does a lot of things!”

Sakura had long seen through Ino’s ruse, and so she decided to let her have it. “Like?”

Ino tried not to sputter her words. “Yeah…well…what the virus does is… It sends these REALLY cheesy videos that cover your entire desktop! Like a popup ad!” Ino felt she had struck gold.

Sakura felt that Ino had been struck dumb. What kind of moron did she think she was? She decided she would go along with the charade, if only to see where it leads. “Oh my! That’s awful! But that can’t be all it does…right?” Sucker!

Ino figured as much, but she courageously plowed on, hoping that Sakura also had an IQ of 51. “Oh no! Of course not! It gets really worse! Like um…they’re music videos turned up REALLY loud!”

Sakura was getting very entertained, reveling in how nervous Ino was. She made herself comfortable on her bed and prepared to roast some pig. “Oh…but you said they’re music videos right? So what do they show?”

“Okay…um…there’s a really unattractive boy band that will continue to take their shirts off for no apparent reason! Over and over again! Until your computer burns!” Ino started to get squeamish. Sakura can’t possibly buy this shit!

“Well Ino-pig, if that’s the case. Then that’s a virus I wouldn’t really mind having.” She almost giggled, awaiting her friend’s reaction.

Ino desperately wanted to scream at Sakura for her ignorance, but she held herself back. “Yes but…the reason it’s a virus is because of what they’re singing! It’s so mind-numbingly awful! You’ll want to die!” At that moment, Ino did too.

Sakura pretended to sound frightened, even though all she wanted to do was laugh. “And what exactly do they sing…Ino?”

This was the moment of truth. Would Sakura call her a liar and hate her forever and would result in Sasuke maiming her for her ineffectiveness? Or would she, against all logic, believe her and prolong only one side of the agony? Well, she’ll soon find out. “It’s…it’s… pop rnb!”

Sakura couldn’t hold back her gasp, which was genuine. “Oh my GOD! Are you serious?! That’s horrible!!”

Ino, somehow, wasn’t all that surprised. Who wouldn’t be repulsed by the corny lyrics, the cheesy dance moves, the senseless stripping! She preferred men with discretion, thank you very much! “Yes I’m serious! And it’s gonna get to you too if you do so much as open your email! All our friends have it now!” She just couldn’t help making her life all that much more difficult.

“God that’s awful… Thank you so much for warning me! I know I wouldn’t want someone like…” Shivers. “R. Kelly on my computer screen stripping for no apparent reason! I guess I’m not touching my pc until it’s all gone then.”

The blond girl released the breath she had been holding for all that time. She was relieved, yet she couldn’t help but feel a tad apprehensive. ‘Did she actually buy that?’

“And Ino…thanks for being such a great friend.”

Oh great, now Ino was guilty. “Hehe…anytime forehead girl…anytime.” She gladly hung-up and wiped the sweat from her brow. She seriously wasn’t cut out to be an accomplice if she couldn’t handle THAT. After all, the Naruto thing was a far bigger charade.

On another part of town, Sakura sat on her desk chair, staring at a blank computer screen. She would let Ino have it for the time being. But…she wondered exactly what she was trying to hide from her, and did it involve Sasuke? She contemplated these things as she took a shower, dressed, and made her way outside. Sasuke’s phone was off, of course, so she would have to find him on foot, again.

Meanwhile, a certain blonde girl called everyone she knew to inform them about a certain virus.

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Another blond of smaller stature glided cheerfully down the sidewalk towards the local mall, deceptively oblivious to all the stares he got as he zoomed by. He was by then used to all the hateful glaring that would follow him wherever he went. It no longer bothered him all that much for he had friends to keep the strain of worrying about it. Although, form the corner of his eye, he noticed people who looked at him somewhat differently, not hateful at all, more of an awe look. There were also the strange smirks and smiles, ones that said they knew something that he didn’t, and it bothered him. He also received a few laughs and taunts that he didn’t bother to catch.

He raced through to the mall’s entrance as fast as he could, trying to hold back the tears once again, maybe he still wasn’t used to this after all. He felt relieved as the blast of the air-conditioning cooled his heated body, impatiently awaiting to be with his friends, where he knew he’d be comfortable. He wasn’t all that delighted to see that the mall was packed, it was a Sunday after all. He evaded as much of the glares as he could. He jumped when a leg attempted to trip him, his reflexes were above normal having been accustomed to such acts from strangers. Once again he ran through the busy crowd until he arrived at the square with a fountain at the center, where he immediately noticed his friends, sitting on the rim.

They stood up when they noticed him. Kiba ran to him with his puppy Akamaru perched precariously on his head. Shikamaru and Shino walked as if bored, the former eating a pretzel.

Kiba stopped in front of him, looking concerned. “Are you okay man? You don’t look so good.”

“Woof!” Akamaru barked, also worried.

Naruto realized that indeed he looked depressed and as soon as he did, he wiped it clean off with a toothy grin. “Oh it’s nothing Kiba; I just had trouble waking up this morning, that’s all!” He tried his best to be convincing.

Kiba, however, placed his hands on his hips, and started to inspect Naruto incredulously. Naruto got freaked out when Kiba started sniffing him.

“What the hell are you doing Kiba?” He asked with a sweatdrop.

After taking one final whiff at Naruto, he looked satisfied. “Well, it doesn’t’ seem like you have ticks.” He stated with a grin. Akamaru barked happily.

Naruto just frowned, his left eye twitching. Was he the only normal one there?

Speaking of normal, the two sluggish boys finally caught up with them, with Shikamaru still munching lazily on his salty snack and Shino being devoid of all human expression.

“Yo.” Shikamaru greeted in between nibbles. “What took you so long?”

“Yeah I thought you’d be coming so I let Akamaru hold his kettle!” Kiba patted the dog on his head affectionately. Then he suddenly looked serious. “But when you weren’t here yet he couldn’t hold it anymore. And since we had no other choice, I made him do it in the fountain!” He declared with a hushed tone.

Instead of being disgusted, the blond snickered and scratched behind the puppy’s ear. “That’s our Akamaru!”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and took a big bite. “It’s not funny Naruto. I had to distract the guard by buying him a pretzel.” He pointed his thumb at a pudgy man in a guard’s uniform eating a dozen salt sticks at a time. “And I had to buy him a couple, since that dog can piss Niagara Falls.” Akamaru whimpered when the disgruntled genius glared at him balefully.

Shino chose that moment to finally speak. “…”

Kiba winced at Shino’s words. He scratched his head, or rather Akamaru, nervously. “Hey, I thought he could hold it in until Naruto got here, and the bathroom is so far away!”

“…”

“Okay fine! I admit that it was because of my lack of thinking that the fountain turned green! But fountains have drains right?”

“…”

Kiba gasped and pointed at Shino angrily. “Hey! Don’t you dare drag my mother into this!”

Naruto followed the semi-heated exchange with interest, while Shikamaru felt the exact opposite. He turned towards Naruto. “So why WERE you late today?”

Naruto jumped in surprise at the sudden voice. Kiba and Shino also ceased their one-sided argument, with the former still gripping Shino’s collar tightly. The blond scratched the back of his head cutely and laughed. “Yeah well…I had to watch the plumber fix my toilet…don’t ask!” He added as Kiba was about to do just that. At that instant, the blonde’s face brightened when he recalled a memory he wanted to share with his friends. “Oh yeah! You two won’t believe what happened to Shikamaru this morning! He-”

Naruto was cut-off short however when Shikamaru stuffed a half eaten pretzel down his throat, who was, for the most part, nonchalant about the whole ordeal. “As interesting as hearing you speak is Naruto, I’m afraid there are things we need to discuss first.” His tone was laced with a silent menace that only the choking blond had deciphered, Kiba and Shino stared on in puzzlement.

The blond kitsune gave up trying to expel the tightly lodged bread stick from his esophagus, and instead swallowed it whole with tears in his eyes. “I hate you, Shika-teme…” He croaked.

The smug brunette just smirked. “Well if your gonna be like that Naruto, then maybe we’ll reconsider throwing you a party.”

The blue-eyed teen immediately looked up in shock at those words. Kiba grinned, and Shino looked as pleased as a plank of wood could look. Kiba roughly slung an arm around Naruto’s shoulders, nearly sending the poor puppy off his head and to the fountain. “We were actually gonna make it a surprise but what the hell!”

The birthday boy was for the moment too stunned to speak. No one had ever thrown a party for him before. No one had ever cared to. Naruto for all of his life had believed that he was a burden to society, intensified by the blatant fact that even complete strangers despised him. Therefore, his personality rejected such things. He forcefully threw the arm off his shoulder, to Kiba’s surprise, drawing even more attention from passerby who cursed under their breath upon seeing Naruto. The boy in question just peered down at the floor, shutting his eyes tight, along with his fists, blond bangs obscuring his face. “You really don’t need to do that guys…I…I don’t…”

Kiba’s expression softened to that of guilt, Shikamaru and Shino felt the same, but with different expressions. Shikamaru stepped up to the plate, placing his hand on Naruto’s shoulder, comfortingly. “Friday is when Oktoberfest is gonna be held, so either way there’s gonna be a party.”

Kiba placed his own hand. “Yeah, it’s just that the focus won’t be so much on booze and German chicks.” He said that with a smile.

Naruto looked up from the ground and to his friends’ caring faces, his eyes glazed and watery.

It was a huge shock for the blond when Shino actually spared a breath. “You can’t allow people you don’t even know to keep you from enjoying yourself Naruto-kun. We don’t all hate you.”

Naruto had been struck completely speechless. Even though Shino resembled a wood carving whose voice must have come from a cassette player, it meant an immeasurable lot to him that Shino actually bothered to say anything. Just for that moment, he felt cared for.

The boys backed away from him while Naruto wiped the bit of tears with the back of his hand. He smiled softly, letting them know that he was grateful. “Since Shika-teme already bought me a gift, I’m expecting big things from you two!”

Kiba punched his blond head playfully. “You stupid brat! Shouldn’t throwing you a party be enough of a gift!?” He turned to Shikamaru with a questioning look. “I thought that we were just pitching in for the party. What did you a buy him anyway?”

Shikamaru answered in monotone. “A webcam.”

And with that, Shino’s gaze instantly swerved from Naruto to Shikamaru, his expression hidden behind the shades and collar.

Kiba raised a brown eyebrow and scratched the side of his head. “Why? I thought Naruto doesn’t have internet.” ‘And neither does he.’ Shikamaru thought, his parents refusing to buy him a new pc after Akamaru pissed on the old one. He was sure though that Kiba would see the video sooner or later, but only then would he intervene. How troublesome.

The now cheerful blond answered for him. “Yeah well, Shika-teme said I could use it to make a video journal.”

Only Shikamaru noticed as Shino’s gaze darkened to subzero levels. He was furious, he could tell. He abhorred having to deal with Shino, just for the fact that he was fiercely, though quietly protective over Naruto. He matched Shino’s hidden though intimidating stare with one of his own.

All conversions ended when the two younger boys felt the sudden chill in the air and found their two friends in what appeared to be a staring competition. Seemingly heedless of everything around them. Naruto was about to poke them out of their trance when Kiba stopped him, shaking his head. He could see lightning spark in between Shikamaru’s almond eyes and Shino’s sunglasses. What the hell was going on?

“Uhmm.” The group turned, including the battling boys, to the direction of a dark haired teen with pale eyes wearing Armani, standing next to a similar looking girl, although nervous, and in a skirt. “I hope we’re not disrupting anything gentlemen.” So said Hyuuga Neji, with a condescending smirk.

“H-hello N-naruto-kun, Sh-shino-kun, Shik-ka-maru-kun…Kiba.” She said the last one with distaste.

But apparently, only Kiba failed to detect the hateful tone. “Why of course Hinata-chan! We were doing absolutely nothing until you came along!” The sleeping mutt gracefully fell off Kiba’s hair as he ran to her and grabbed both her hands. Hinata looked like she was bathing in magma.

Naruto energetically waved his hand in greeting. “Hey Neji! What are you two doing here?”

Neji smiled, somehow it was creepy. ‘Why, to see you of course, Naruto-kun.”

Naruto looked to Shikamaru, who just shrugged. “Uh…how did you know we were here?”

“Oh don’t worry about that Naruto-kun, we have our sources.” The truth was, he couldn’t wait to see the blond after seeing the video, and neither could Hinata, who was at first timidly furious that people were manipulating her Naruto-kun. But just a few words from her cousin had convinced her that she had no other way to get to know Naruto, other than him bearing all to the entire world. She would be selfish, but only for that.

The grim reality was that it was Kiba who had time and time again destroyed her chances of ever having a romantic future with Naruto, when he decided to elect himself as her “translator”. It all started back when they were eleven, having fun in the playground when Hinata “specifically” asked Kiba to tell Naruto that she wanted to go have a walk in the park with him. What Kiba apparently told Naruto was that she wanted to “fock” in the dark. He never looked at her the same way since.

And that’s how it went. Since Kiba was always around Naruto, she could only ever talk to him in his presence. When Naruto couldn’t understand her, which most of the time, he couldn’t, Kiba would speak for her, always horribly wrong, and always an open invitation for sex. Hinata didn’t even know how to go about sex goddamit! And Kiba would always be completely mindless of the whole thing, silently mocking her with his stupid grins and annoying laugh! Hinata hated him dammit! And still he has the nerve to touch her?!

Hinata meekly extricated herself from Kiba’s grip as he blabbered on about what his puppy did in the fountain. It was because of him that she hated dogs. It was because of him that she was even MORE deathly nervous around her Naruto, and that he obviously hated her for the fact that he thought she wanted to fuck him! Well maybe she did…but she wanted romance first dammit!

Naruto looked on as Hinata tried to ineffectively pull herself away from Kiba as he continued to laugh and smile at his own jokes. Naruto seethed, what did Kiba see in her anyway? It was only weeks ago that Hinata asked him if he wanted to “water her flower”! What the hell? How many times did he have to turn her down before she actually got it?! That he wasn’t at all interested in having sex with her! How many times did she have to break Kiba’s heart by not asking HIM those questions?

Once again someone cleared their throat in order to break the current mood, it was Shikamaru. “Sorry to ruin everyone’s fun, but standing here is just too troublesome.” He turned to the blond who had cooled down somewhat. “What do you want to do Naruto?”

He didn’t need to think twice! “Arcade!” he jumped in the air and pulled Kiba with him who was dragging an irritated Hinata and a feisty Akamaru to the escalators. Shikamaru and Neji trailed behind.

“So…where are you actually going with this? Shikamaru?” Neji asked the boy next to him with a hushed tone.

Shikamaru didn’t even flinch. “How did you know Hyuuga?”

Neji laughed a small and creepy laugh. “I’m a Hyuuga, you know that. And I also know that it’s HER whose overseeing this, isn’t she?”

Shikamaru for the first time was truly startled. How much did Neji know? “I see you know more than I would have desired.”

“Of course, the Hyuuga’s were involved with that particular conspiracy. Which is incentive enough that we monitor Naruto’s activities till this day. But enough of that. May I ask you a personal question?”

Shikamaru did not respond, stunned that he hadn’t put into account that particular detriment.

Neji took the silence as a yes. “Do you feel no remorse? Are you willing to sacrifice him for this? The last time I checked, I assumed you were his closest friend.” Neji sounded neither smug nor angry, just sad.

Shikamaru closed his eyes and took his time before he answered. “What I have decided goes beyond remorse and friendship Hyuuga.” Shikamaru went on ahead, but turned his head back to face Neji. “And I’m not going to stop.” With that settled, he went after his two boisterous friends, one of which, he had just promised to betray.

The mysterious bug-lover stopped dead in his tracks in contemplation, not minding the odd looks from passerby, for he had heard every word.

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Yeah…sorry if you didn’t like this chapter, I didn’t either. But it’s really hard to be creative in a hospital and a fever. So wish me well, and I better see a lot of reviews when I get back! Since I won’t be able to read them for a while, but I can still continue. Hopefully I’ll have a clearer head for my next chapter...so…ta ta for now!

P.S: NO OFFENSE TO ALL THOSE WHO LIKE B2K AND USHER AND ALL. I JUST REALLY DON’T LIKE THAT STUFF…SORRI…