Square the circle

AN: Thanks to all my lovely reviewers! and readers as well

lo: Glad you had fun. Here's some more.
Reno's_Lover: They're a bit awkward aren't they ;) Nice to see you again.
j.s.: Tease, yep, that's me. I update fast to get this story done before my lectures start. Still trying to do good work :)
Velvetina: KakaIru is a pair that's just meant to be. I actually rubbed my hands with amusement as I wrote the sex scene part :)
trabeck: Here you go.
Hestia: Yep, I think that Iruka shouldn't always be portrayed as a virgin who has no glue about sex (with men ^_^ ). I think he's pretty sharp and often underestimated. Glad that you liked it.
Reily: I've been wanting to write about Kakashi's thoughts but I've taken this whole approach of telling the story from Iruka's point of view and I really don't want to break that. I know there will be many things that remain hidden this way, but I think it's somewhat more natural. One can identify more with Iruka this way. Maybe in next fic I'll start once again jumping from one's thoughts to another's but for now I'll stick with Iruka.

Thank you Juxtathought for beta reading, your work is greatly appreciated ^_^

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Iruka opened his eyes, smiling. He felt happy. The place beside him was empty except for a note. Iruka took the note, it read:

Sorry to leave like this, but an urgent mission came up. See you when I get back? -Kakashi

Iruka read the note a couple more times, trying in vain to decipher some sort of hidden emotion from it. The good news was that Kakashi wanted to see him again. Iruka knew what a life as a ninja could be like—last minute missions, painful wounds, and a short life expectancy. Was Iruka really ready for all that? He knew that Kakashi was skillful enough to take care of himself, but that put him at greater risk. Afterall, the better the ninja, the more dangerous missions they were assigned. Iruka couldn't stand another loss. He was afraid to get too attached to the man.

Still, it was too early to worry about such things; one night together didn't mean a life-long commitment. Not to mention, he was completely clueless as to what Kakashi’s true intentions were. It could have been just a fling to him, or maybe he was just looking for a warm bed between his missions. The man didn't seem like a person who would let someone into his heart. Iruka felt that he should be cautious with this one.

Iruka rose up and got dressed. There were still lots of work to be done before the year came to an end. He ate a light breakfast and made his way to the Hokage's building where the abandoned towers of files were waiting for him on his desk. While Iruka's universe had been shaken, the world around him was still the same and it wasn’t going to slow down and wait for one chunin to get his head out of the clouds—though the sun did seem to shine a bit brighter and the dusty office didn't feel so small and dark. The physical closeness of another person, even for a little while, had lifted his mood considerably. The seasonal depression was gone. Iruka took a few files and started to go through them.

The door to the office opened. Asuma walked in, his burning cigarette held between his lips.

"Oi. I thought you'd be working."

"Well, I am. And don't tell me you have a report to return. As you can see, I have enough already, waiting to be filed," Iruka pointed out.

"Nope. That's not why I'm here. I was planning to ask you to join us for a New Year’s celebration," Asuma replied.

"Oh." Iruka thought about it. He didn't have plans, but he really wanted to talk with Kakashi before deciding anything.

"That is, if you don't already have plans," said Asuma, watching Iruka.

"No, not exactly, but I have to think about it."

"Ok, but let me know before Friday. And if you want, you can bring a date," Asuma continued. Iruka blushed lightly. Was it so obvious?

"Half of the village is coming. Kurenai has invited Yamato, Gai, Kakashi, Genma and all the other team leaders and teachers. And if you don't have a date, don't worry. There will be lots of women," Asuma added, smirking.

Iruka's heart was racing. Kakashi was going and he hadn't mentioned anything to him. Not that he had any obligations to tell Iruka his plans, but still, it was weird. Then and there, Iruka made his decision.

"Alright, I’ll be there. Alone. It would be nice to party a bit before the teaching starts," said Iruka.

"I guess you're not telling me who the lucky girl is then, are you?" teased Asuma. Iruka felt his cheeks flush.

"There's no girl," replied Iruka, knowing he wasn't lying. It was disturbing how well the man could read him.

"If you say so. Look at the time, I have to run. See you Sunday then."

"Yeah, see you."

Iruka relaxed when the door closed. There was no need to tell anyone what had happened. Men dating men wasn't an uncommon thing among ninjas. Many men prized physical strength to the extent that they thought women were too weak to be lovers—others just liked men better. Still, some of the majority who were straight as arrows didn't think kindly toward homosexual relationships. But that wasn't the main reason—seeing as how he and Kakashi didn't have a relationship, there wasn't anything to be told. In addition, he wasn't sure whether either of them wanted a relationship or not. One thing was for sure though, he was happier than he remembered being in a long time. Too long...

The day turned into evening before Iruka called it a day. The stacks of paperwork were now only one third of what they had been at their worst. He left feeling satisfied with the work he had accomplished, packing his bag and locking the doors behind him. The weather was cool and dark. He walked slowly, enjoying the silence. Asuma’s party was still four days away. It was nice that he had been asked to attend, even though Asuma had invited almost everyone. It would be nice to see Kakashi there too. Now that he thought about it, Asuma had probably asked Kakashi to go to the party after he had left Iruka's place. It would definitely be nice to see people and relax a bit with adults before going back to teaching the children. Iruka liked children, but it was good to have some time away from them.

Thinking of children, the former emptiness in his chest sneaked back. He missed Naruto.

He was happy that Jiraiya had taken him on as an apprentice. It was a great opportunity for the boy and he was definitely safe with one of the legendary three. Much safer than Iruka could ever keep him. Deep inside, Iruka knew that Naruto was happy to be learning techniques from Jiraiya. He really had nothing to worry about.

Kakashi was probably on some S-rank mission. They usually took at least a couple of days so the Copy-nin probably wouldn't make it back before Sunday. Iruka wished he could meet Kakashi before the party. They had much to talk about, and this time, Iruka would lay it all on the table. He needed to know what was on the man's mind. Iruka smiled wryly to himself. Which wouldn’t help unless he made up his own mind first.

One obstacle at a time, Iruka.

He had endured so much pain when he was orphaned as a child. In his adulthood he had lost some friends on missions too. Death was a part of life in hidden villages, but one never got used to it, which was a good thing, Iruka supposed—it kept them human. Iruka had imagined that he would someday find a nice woman, who wasn't a kunoichi, and start a family. They would live a nice, quiet life together without either of them risking their lives on deadly missions.

And now there was Kakashi, a total opposite of everything he had planned for himself. Kakashi was a jonin, and a man at that. If it got serious, there was a chance that Iruka could get seriously hurt, and in addition, they could never have children—somehing Iruka had always dreamed of. Iruka knew these issues could eventually become a problem in the distant future and he didn't want to put his heart into something that he wasn't prepared to endure. And what kind of a relationship could he have with Kakashi?

Well, the sex seemed promising enough, but it couldn't be all there was. They did share at least one other thing—Naruto. They both cared for the boy and each had a hand in teaching him, but that was about all that he knew that he had in common with Kakashi. He couldn't decide something as important as whether he wanted any kind of a relationship with the man without knowing more about him. He knew about Kakashi's career and that he wasn't as social as it would seem from the first clinch (and that he had an amazing body), but he knew next to nothing about the man himself. Iruka really wanted to meet Kakashi again and talk with him to find out what kind of man was hidden behind that cool exterior persona.


Iruka sat on a kitchen chair staring at the bottom of his teacup. He poured himself another cup. No matter how much he thought about the situation with Kakashi, he didn't make any progress and it was getting late. Iruka supposed that it would be better not to bother himself with these circling thoughts. Things would settle themselves in due time. He brushed his teeth and slipped between the sheets. It was cold in the bed alone. Iruka turned on his side and pulled the other pillow against his chest. It still had Kakashi's faint, earthy scent. Iruka inhaled deeply as his thoughts wandered to last night.

Kakashi's body warm against him, his demanding lips bruising his neck and jaw...Iruka's hand sliding to his chest, lightly touching pale skin...his finger circling around his nipple, making it hard...holding the soft bundle with two fingers—pinching, pulling and turning...

Blood rushed downward, swelling his member. Iruka's other hand made its way down, taking hold of his throbbing erection. He stroked it slowly, imagining Kakashi’s hand in place of his, bringing him to the brink of ecstasy. Holding the pillow tight, inhaling Kakashi's scent, he quickened his pace. Soon the familiar tightening in his stomach came. He was near. His other hand pinched and pulled his nipple, increasing the pleasure. Iruka slowed his stokes again—he wanted this to last as long as it could. The precum was slick on his fingers as he milked himself. He was way more aroused than usual when he did this to himself. Soon the pressure was too much. He tried to mentally hold onto the moment as long as possible, but the white substance inevitably burst over his hand and onto the pillow. Iruka panted in the afterglow.

As the pleasure faded, he opened his eyes.

Nice, he thought. No man over twenty should have made such a mess.

He felt embarrassed and angry at himself. He was acting like a foolish schoolboy with a crush on the teacher. And boy, he, if anyone, knew what that was like. He hadn’t taught many classes where at least someone didn’t have a thing for him. This wasn't the way adults acted. They didn't soil their beds while thinking about a guy they had spent one night with. Iruka went to the bathroom, wiped up, and looked at himself from the mirror.

What a fool you are, he scolded himself. Stop this before you get in too deep and can't find your way back to the surface. The red marks on his neck and chest reminded him of the night with Kakashi. He was marked by the man.

It felt kind of nice. Iruka shook his head. He changed the pillowcase and laid down. In no time, he was in deep sleep, dreaming wet dreams.

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