Breaking Apart

Breaking Apart

Warnings: DARK, TWISTED FIC. RAPE. Yaoi. I am writing this a stress reliever. It is twisted and MORBID with disturbing images. Sorry, I do not have a beta, so this is UNBETAED- read at your own risk.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto. I am writing this for fun.

‘Sasuke’s Thoughts’
"Talking"

Chapter 3: Sasuke’s Decision

I could sense that Naruto was up the minute I was within sight of our apartment. ‘Why is he awake?’

This is the first time I have returned home from my side affairs to find Naruto awake. No matter how bad the nightmares become, he never wakes up. His nightmares have such a grip on him, he cries and thrashes, but he never wakes up. It is as if he doesn’t think to wake up. Most of the time, I have to force him awake when his dreams get too bad.

I don’t mind it. ‘Hn. What would my dobe do without me?’ As I walk into the room, I take care to only half mask my chakra. This is how Naruto likes to detect me. I really have no idea why. But I learned that if I were to broadcast my arrival he would freak out. I tried once and I thought he would die from the panic attack it induced in him. It was as if I surprised him. He does not take well to surprises nowadays.

I have always wondered where Naruto’s sudden fear of my chakra came from. ‘Oh well, it is not difficult to mask it at this level. Most ninja would find it hard. But my stealth skills are long past this poor disguise.’

“Naruto,” I call softly. I know he is awake. But he may not be coherent. ‘You never know with Naruto what state he will be in the next time you see him. The Sound really changed him.’

“Naruto, dobe, are you still up?” I call softly so as not to surprise him. When he doesn’t answer, I start towards him- but then slowly halt as I realize I still have the smell of Shino on me. ‘I can’t touch Naruto while I am like this. I can’t dirty him this way.’

“I had a bad dream,” He says in a small voice.

I stiffen at that lie. ‘He never wakes up from bad dreams.’ In the shadows of the room, my eyes narrow as I contemplate the little liar.

“Aw, baby,” I say in a rush masking how intently I am scrutinizing him by infusing false caring into my voice, “I’ll take care of you. First, let me shower, I’ve been out training. You always sleep better when I am with you, right?”

Watching Naruto nod with his face still partially covered by blankets makes me almost want to laugh. As I turn to take a shower, my caring façade drops away, leaving only the merciless disappointment I feel with Naruto right now. ‘I fucking hate liars. That will be the first thing I train you never to do again, dobe.’

As I move to remove my clothes, I forcibly try to take my mind off of Naruto. I am afraid if I dwell on his idiotic behavior I will punish him tonight. ‘He is not ready to suffer my wrath for such offenses.’ But his time has run out. He needs to yield to me, and yield to me soon. I cannot promise that the transition from being a very close friend to being my lover is going to be smooth for him. He’s not ready yet. But he is simply out of time. I do not want substitutes any longer.

I feel my body begin to respond at the thought of taking Naruto and I curse myself. ‘Not tonight. Man, have some fucking control.’ I think as I berate myself.

As I turn on the water for my shower, I attempt to focus on how badly I stink of Shino. ‘Now, that’s a turn off.’ I knew when I arrived at the Aburame compound that this would be my last night with Shino. He was distracted and, quite frankly, I had to pretend he was Naruto to even get off. But once I did I was lost in the fantasy of fucking Naruto.

Even with the fantasy, for a minute there, I thought I would not be able to cum. But Shino’s ridiculous attempt to take back control of his body by trying to bring himself off irritated and excited me. It reminded me of Naruto’s earlier rejection of me. By taking possession of Shino, I imagined I was taking possession of Naruto. It wasn’t long before I came.

I pulled out of Shino to make the fantasy believable. I have never been inside Naruto; cumming inside of Shino would shatter the illusion. And when Shino, as if by instinct, took me into his mouth, the fantasy was all but complete. I had to throw my head back and groan with the sheer pleasure of it. I love Naruto’s blowjobs. I mean, LOVE. With Shino’s hot mouth around me, I could pretend, even if just for a moment, that he was Naruto. It wasn’t the same, of course. But it was close enough for tonight.

Still when I opened my eyes to see that it was Shino and not Naruto sucking on me, the whole experience became hollow. But I accepted it. I accepted that my time with Shino was over. He has outlived his usefulness to me. ‘Hn…it happens. Shino will understand,’ I think to myself not really caring if he will or will not understand. It is simply over between us.

As I step into the water that has been heated to scalding temperatures in order to wash the remnants of Shino off of me, I can’t help but run my hands over my body wishing that Naruto- I am jerked back to reality as an unruly thought interrupts my oncoming fantasy, ‘Why is he lying to me?’

My hands begin to quickly wash myself as I contemplate Naruto’s attempt to lie to me. ‘What could that dobe possibly hope to hide from me?’ I think with indignation, ‘No one knows him better than me. He is an open book.’

As I start to quickly wash my hair, I laugh at the irony of my thoughts. ‘If he was a fucking open book, then I wouldn’t be in the shower trying to figure out what the fuck he is up to now, would I?’ I ask myself mockingly.

I never lie to myself. That is how I have managed to stay alive this long.

Even dealing with Itachi, I knew I couldn’t beat him when I was younger. But my goal was never to beat him anyway, no matter what I made everyone believe. I just wanted him to honor me by killing me like he did the rest of our clan. I was so angry at being left alive. And as soon as it became clear to me that he would not kill me, I knew I needed to train harder than I was training with Kakashi. If Itachi was not going to kill me, that meant I would have to kill him. Orochimaru provided me with everything I needed for that task. ‘Oh well, that’s old news.’ I killed him over 5 years ago. If I listen, my skin still echoes his screams for mercy.

I bathed in his blood right in front of him. Drinking in the blood he thought was so precious, I gloried in it until he died crying out apologies and ‘please, forgive me’s. It was then that I knew that the Uchiha’s are cursed. It is a good thing the Uchiha blood limit dies with me. I know I am a curse. I am honest about that fact. And it is my honesty with Itachi and myself over that fact that has kept me from going crazy. Honesty is a virtue I value. It continues to save my life. ‘So why is the dobe lying to me now?’

‘So the least I can do is be honest with myself now. No matter how much it irritates me.’ I pause for a second in rinsing my hair, ‘Face it. I don’t know what is going on with Naruto. That has to change right away.’

With that thought, I quickly finish my shower. ‘Who knows what that moron has gotten into his head now?’ I swear to myself, while I towel off my body stepping out of the shower. I can barely wait to get back to Naruto. I step into the room we share toweling my hair.

I still find it funny that he thinks of our bedroom as ‘his’ room. He doesn’t realize that we have been sleeping together for over two years. My clothes are here. My toiletries are here. My scrolls are here. ‘Hell, I live here.’ He doesn’t question why I am here all the time. He simply has not processed what my constant presence means. That is why I still call him a dobe, it is not as if he is stupid. He’s just…oblivious. If he ever stopped to think about why things happen, he would be able to come up with the right answers. He just never asks why. That is why he is usually the last person to understand anything. He is always the last person to figure anything out.

Like right now. I am willing to bet the dobe does not realize he is starring at me. And if he does, he sure as hell doesn’t know why. This is why he can’t admit how badly he wants me. He doesn’t understand himself at all.

I can’t help my body’s response as his gaze comes to rest on my cock. I feel the weight of his gaze as if he is touching me and I feel my dick jump in response.

As his eyes shoot up to mine, I think with a smirk, ‘Well that got his attention.'

My smirk turns into a smile as I see his bashfulness. “Let me know when you’re done,” I say softly with a genuine gentle smile, “I can stand here all night if you want me to.”

I don't miss the flash of desire that crosses Naruto’s face. ‘That’s it, dobe. Want me. You are going to need all of your desire pretty soon to survive becoming my lover. And time is up, baby. Time is up.'

“I’m done, teme,” Naruto says with a sigh as he turns over in the bed to make room for me. ‘Yes, you are. You are the only one who doesn’t know it.’

As I move to wrap him in my arms, I barely hear his sobs as my attempt to sooth him kicks in. I have held him this way so often that I can comfort him on autopilot.

My mind wanders back to Naruto’s dobe-ness. ‘This obliviousness is going to be a hindrance. I don't think I can allow this level of naiveté for much longer. It will get him killed one day. I am sure of it.’

I faintly hear Naruto’s sobs getting worse and worse as I double my automatic comforting phrases.

‘I guess I’ll have to fix that too.’ I think with an internal sigh of weariness, ‘I can’t have him putting his life in jeopardy. I do not lose possessions through obliviousness- whether it is his or mine. He will learn. He will learn or he will suffer. Either way, he will learn.’

I realize that Naruto seems to be crying even harder now. ‘What the fuck, dobe!? What is wrong with you?’

I would get worried, but whatever is bothering him I’ll find out about tomorrow. It has been a while since I’ve had to shadow him. When he was more fragile, I shadowed him all the time. I could not risk him killing himself. But we are beyond that now. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to shadow him for a bit to look for anything out of the ordinary. ‘It doesn’t matter.’ I think. ‘Tomorrow he will become my lover anyway. And I will not allow any lies to stand between us.’

As Naruto’s sobs seem to be lessening in force, I decide. ‘Don’t worry, dobe. Tomorrow this ends. I will deal with whatever troubles you.’

-TBC-

Next Chapter: Sasuke’s rage. Shino’s defense.

A/N: I don’t mind telling you…Sasuke really scares me in this fic. What a nightmare!?

AFF Reviewers – Thank you so much for reviewing! I wasn’t planning on updating today. I really am leaving in a bit. But I read your reviews and felt I had to get this out to you all to day if I could. (This is for you myinukoi. Let me know if you like it :-). I don’t have time to respond right now. I will probably update on Monday and respond to all the reviews I haven’t responded to personally (I like it when writers do this. I hope you don’t mind.)

Please review. It really helps me keep this fic on track!