Konoha Kara No Dansei

Konoha Kara No Dansei

Warnings: ooc Neji, cursing, Tobito theory, scattered plot points (watch your step, they’re sharp)

Hugs for all my reviewers!!! I offer three types so take your pick from -appreciative with tears, squeezing your lungs until you turn blue, and the ever classic glomp.

You know, there was once a ye olden time when I thought I could update every two weeks. But I can only seem to churn them out once a month at best. I don’t really want to cut down the chapter length or the quality of writing (it’s minimal enough as it is). Hopefully during winter break I’ll be able to write more quickly and get ahead of my posting. But as it is now, I’m writing as I go.

Also! I decided to go back and change Arashi to Minato because it was bugging me. So don’t be surprised when you see that name in future chapters. (Also corrected a few spelling errors)

Chapter 4

Working a regular job was having weird side effects on Naruto. Every morning for the past week he had woken up with the distinct feeling that he was a Scottish warrior waking on the morning of a bloody battle. Stress caused reoccurring dreams, right? Yeah, Naruto was sticking to that.

So aside from actually dealing with the models, who were driving him crazy of course, Naruto was finding it difficult to take decent pictures of them. At least professionally speaking. Sure, the models were good looking but that doesn’t necessarily make a good photo.

Not to say Naruto didn’t like a lot of things about his job. Most of the people at Konoha were pretty cool. Gai and Lee were always cracking him up and Kiba stuck to Naruto like glue whenever they were in the same room (finally there was someone in this company who would laugh at Kiba's low brow humor) and the dog boy had the authority to give Shino a hard time on his behalf. Not that Naruto needed to be stuck up for, but he still appreciated the effort. Even Sakura was nice to him when Sasuke wasn’t the topic of discussion.

That bastard.

Naruto sprinted down the sidewalk, making sure to avoid the crowds of people who were taking up most of his walking space. His camera bag swung back and forth on his shoulder as he went, bouncing off his orange shirt.

The construction on a building across the street was causing a lot of undue racket that was pounding on his eardrums. The congested traffic wasn’t doing his ears any favors either. Honking wasn’t going to make the other cars move any faster, people!

Naruto jogged to catch a cross walk before it turned red. He barely scrapped past in the yellow and grinned at his small victory.

The problem with Konoha’s models is that they were too stiff, formal… snobbish, high-strung. However you want to put it, they didn’t like to show their emotions. Not their real ones anyway. Naruto had enough experience in that department to know when someone was faking.

Maybe the perverted janitor was right. I need to do something to loosen them up, Naruto thought idly, slowing his pace to a leisurely walk.

He looking up at the blue summer sky, framed by skyscrapers on either side of the street. It really was a beautiful day. Too bad he had to go in for a meeting. It would have been a good day to visit the park.

Naruto refocused his eyes, spotting the diner he’d been going to for breakfast the last few days. It was a really nice place with fairly inexpensive food, plus Naruto liked its name: ‘The Flame’.

Stopping at the crosswalk, Naruto waited, a hand absentmindedly fiddling with the keys hooked to the belt loop in his jeans. He frowned slightly as a nagging thought he’d been having threatened to resurface.

Sasuke hadn’t spoken a word to him since the first photo shoot. At first Naruto had been positive that the bastard was planning some sort of horrible retaliation for that picture. So whenever Sasuke’s glare happened to turn in Naruto’s direction, Naruto made a point expressing that he was ready for anything Sasuke could throw at him, “Bring it on!!” But now, days later, he wasn’t so sure Sasuke was planning anything at all.

Naruto snorted and scowled. What a priss. Giving up so easily just because of an embarrassing photo. Maybe Sasuke wasn’t as fiery as he’d first suspected.

Then again, Naruto doubted that. Sure, the bastard was stoic and reserved off camera, but when Naruto stared through his camera lens and looked in Sasuke’s eyes, their intensity floored him. Even as a nature photographer, Naruto knew that the mark of a good model was the amount of emotion they could show in one look.

Sasuke, for all his bastardliness… looked really good in pictures, intense even. He probably just didn’t consider Naruto worth the time to retaliate or some shit like that.

He was really starting to piss Naruto off.

It would have been one thing if Sasuke were the kind of good looking where he had to wear fashionable clothes and makeup to get by, but Naruto was slowly discovering that Sasuke put little to no effort into his appearance. The same way he put no effort into getting Sakura’s attention, or into becoming a top model. It all happened naturally for him.

Life was so fucking unfair.

Why did people like Sasuke get everything handed to them on a silver platter, when Naruto had to work so hard just for table scraps? Then Sasuke had the gaul to treat Naruto like he was some none entity.

Naruto eyes snapped into focus as he realized the people around him were crossing the street. He shook his head, dispelling the stupid thoughts and set a smile in place. He straightened his back he crossed, heading towards the diner.

Why the hell was he thinking about that kind of thing anyway? No use feeling sorry for himself. Who gives a flying fuck whether Sasuke acknowledged him or not? It was no skin off his nose.

Damn, I’m still half asleep. That’s the problem. Need coffffeeee.

-:-

“Thank you, and please come again!” a young waitress blushed and smiled as she placed Sasuke’s bill on the table.

Sasuke gave a small grunt of acknowledgment, causing the girl to blush an even deeper shade of red as she scurried away. Sasuke ignored the spectacle and gave the bill a quick glance over before returning to his newspaper.

One hand gripped the handle of his coffee mug and he raised it to his lips, taking a slow sip. The slightly bitter taste was soothing and he was slowly feeling more and more awake as the drink disappeared.

God, he hated mornings. Coffee made everything better. That’s what he liked about this diner. They actually served good, strong coffee, that didn’t taste like it had been watered down so that it could stretch across five hundred patrons.

Sasuke set the cup down and sighed inwardly. He leaned back, resting his head against the laminated cushioning of the booth. He was grateful to have a quiet moment to himself for once. No squealing fans to bother him, and no suspected murderers glaring daggers at him.

Sasuke took a deep breath, expelling the air slowly.

No, he was not stressed. He could handle anything with a calm demeanor and a level head. However, the growing pile of complications in his life was becoming… annoying.

Sasuke wasn’t a real policeman, but a civilian participating in an investigation. That meant he wasn’t allowed to go near to the Konoha building without some level of protection, aka, Kakashi. It was a reasonable rule and one Sasuke was willing to follow.

But did Kakashi always, always have to be late for every single thing? Sasuke despised being late with a passion, and Kakashi seemed to find that fact endlessly amusing. If the detective hadn’t been such a close friend of his uncle, Sasuke probably would have been a murderer himself by now.

But Kakashi was nothing compared to the fans. Rabid, hormone-driven girls who begged (and forced) him to sign their bras and panties on a normal day. It had gotten so bad that Konoha was actually a break from the madness going to school had become, and considering he had to put up with Sakura and Ino at Konoha… that was just sad.

Then on top of all that, the workload from his summer classes was wearing him to the breaking point, though he would never admit that anyone but himself and only when he wasn’t thinking straight. Trying to fit the workload for an entire class into six weeks wasn’t easy by any means. Especially when taking multiple courses. But it was fast, and necessary if he wanted to graduate early, like Itachi had.

Study time and the investigation (Sasuke refused to call it modeling) clashed more often than he would have liked. After so many weeks and no leads within Konoha, he had opted for studying when he had to choose. His real career goals took precedent over the fake ones. But now that Naruto had shown up he’d have to make time for both again, as he couldn’t allow Naruto to go unchecked while he did homework.

Sasuke massaged his temples, thinking of the earful he had gotten from the blond photographer yesterday, and the day before that… and every fucking day since he’d shown his whiskered mug.

Their first meeting aside, Sasuke hadn’t said a single bad word to the man. Even with his lack of sleep and growing frustration he realized it wasn’t smart to insult a potential murderer. But Naruto went on yapping as if Sasuke had run over his puppy and never apologized.

Murderer or not, that idiot could hold a grudge tighter than anyone Sasuke had ever met, and over something so stupid too. What did it matter if he pissed off some random guy because he was exhausted and didn’t feel like relocating their crap? It wasn’t a personal attack, no matter how personally Naruto took it.

Sasuke tired to refocus on the article he had been reading, but it was hard to stay interested in the problems with the public school system when something a professor of his had said during his freshman year kept sneaking to the forefront of his mind. It was part of the basics of criminal psychology. Though it couldn’t always be applied to real life situations, the concept wasn’t something he could ignore.

Simply put, it was much more common for passive aggressive cases to result in multiple homicides. Adversely, Naruto declared he hated Sasuke every five minutes. There was nothing passive about him. The man the police were searching for had been avoiding capture for nearly a year. Would that man risk blowing his cover by acting so openly hostile?

If Naruto was indeed the killer then Sasuke was the most likely target. If that was the case then the blond’s behavior didn’t make sense. Assuming he didn’t want to get caught. This was also assuming one of the other models wasn’t the target, in which case Sasuke would have to be even more vigilant. There were so many things that could go wrong. What’s more, he hadn’t exactly told Itachi that he pissed off the subject of their homicide investigation. He would be taken off the case and this opportunity to join the police force and ultimately catch his parents’ murderer would be gone because of his own screw up.

Sasuke was not stressed.

But it certainly didn’t help that everyone seemed hell bent on making his life more difficult.

Sasuke gave up on reading and folded the newspaper, tucking it under his arm as he stood. He made his way to the front register and paid for his coffee. He ignored the waitress as she waved goodbye and stepped out onto the crowded sidewalk, the little bell at the top of the door jingling as he did so.

The waitress sighed once he had gone, disappointed that he still didn’t know her name even though he came here every morning, and set about busying herself with a stack of menus.

It wasn’t thirty seconds later before the bell rang again and Naruto stepped into the diner. He glanced around and smiled, appreciating the homey atmosphere of the diner, and walked to the front counter.

“Can I have a table for one? Window seat if you have it,” he asked.

The waitress grabbed and menu and stepped out from behind the counter. “Certainly, a table just opened up.”

-:-

“Kiba! Control that damn dog before I neuter both of you!! Shino, you’re forbidden from wearing that cologne again! NARUTO, if that camera flashes one more time-!”

Naruto took the camera away from his face, looking at the digital screen. Tsunade’s wrinkles really stood out when she was angry. Guess botox doesn’t solve everything. Naruto snickered.

He had already gotten several good shots of Tsunade screaming her head off this morning and even better than that was the photo of Akamaru humping Shino’s leg. Oh yeah, this was a great day in Uzumaki history. Naruto was still laughing, even though it had happened a whole fifteen minutes ago. That photo was going up on his wall, right next to the one of him giving Sasuke the middle finger.

“Alright boy, that’s enough,” Kiba chuckled, turning his chair and leaning towards Akamaru to get the dog’s attention. His teeth were bared in an amused grin as he patted his knee.

Akamaru immediately jumped up from where he’d been sitting, leaving a drool stain on Shino’s shoe, and pranced over to his master, looking extremely pleased with himself. Naruto knew Akamaru’s sudden attachment to Shino had very little to do with the editor’s cologne and a lot to do with Kiba getting back at his stoic colleague for a comment about his writing style.

Shino set his stony gaze on the two chuckling men, obviously not amused. Tsunade didn’t look amused either, but that was probably because she wanted Shino to finish his boring report so they could move on to other things.

The other department heads and stockholders present at the meeting were unshaken, though some had laughed at Akamaru’s affectionate display, most were seated around the table quietly, looking impatient.

From her seat at the head of the table, Tsunade sighed and waved a hand for Shino to continue.

“As I was saying,” the stoic editor continued, his lips pinched together, “The last issue ended our summer session and the next will feature a fall theme. I’ve discussed the price of printing August’s layout with our accountant and I believe we can up the ante next month. I propose we use the extra money to cut down on advertisements and have full two page spreads featuring each of the models and the fashions they’re promoting for fall.”

“Sounds good if we have the money for it,” Tsunade answered shortly. “Since full spreads are usually reserved for holiday months, we can run this as a sort of special issue, Shikamaru, did you double check your math on all this?”

“No,” Shikamaru said lazily. He was sitting in the seat directly across from Tsunade. “But it’s correct.”

“Double check anyway,” Tsunade ordered. She clicked her pen and closed the folder in front of her. “That’s everything except for my final announcement.”

Shino took his seat next to Kiba while Tsunade shifted through her mess of papers. Naruto leaned over Kiba so he could whisper to the stoic editor.

“Ah, so my photos are good enough for full page spreads? Imagine that.”

Shino neither confirmed nor denied the statement, as he preferred to ignore the snickering morons.

Tsunade found the paper she was looking for and stood up. She smiled, waving for Sakura to come over. The pink haired girl had been waiting in a seat in the corner of the room during the meeting.

Sakura immediately perked up and ran forward, clutching her own stack of papers to her chest. Tsunade placed a hand on the blushing girl’s shoulder as she faced the room’s occupants.

“Everyone,” she paused to make sure she had everyone’s attention. “We should all congratulate Sakura. Her Shibui Line as been nominated for the upcoming Shinobi Fashion Show in Michigan!”

Naruto barely had time to wonder what that meant before a host of excited voices broke out. He looked around as the businessmen and women stood to shake hands with the beaming girl, offering congratulations and encouragement.

Naruto scrunched his face in confusion and poked Kiba in the side of the head. “Hey, Sakura got into a fashion show? I didn’t know it was a nomination thing. Is it really good?”

Kiba swatted the hand away. “Are you kidding? It’s fantastic! Especially for a rookie designer to be nominated for such a high-class show. It’s a nation wide competition and the winners get featured in Milan!”

Naruto grinned, “So Sakura’s pretty good, right?”

Kiba chuckled. “You know Milan, they like the crazy stuff,” he muttered, but Naruto was already up and bouncing towards Tsunade and Sakura, waving his hands in the air so he could be seen over the other people’s heads.

“Oi! Oi! Sakura! Congratulations!” Naruto shouted as he approached.

Sakura smiled when Naruto managed to get to her. Naruto gave an inward cheer. “Thanks, Naruto! You want to see the designs that got in?”

Sakura looked so keen on showing them, so Naruto earnestly nodded his head in the affirmative. She handed him the papers she had been carrying, which turned out to be large sketches of the outfits. Naruto recognized a few of them, most notably Sai’s belly shirt combo. For such a lighthearted girl, Sakura could think up some pretty damn freaky outfits. The Shibui line was all dark colors, complimented with skulls, extra belts and a bunch of other gothic designs.

“They’re perfect for our models, aren’t they?” Naruto said, looking up at the girl.

Now he noticed that Tsunade had moved to the other side of the room to shake hands to the stockholders as they left, reassuring them that their money was in good hands. Kiba and Shino were beside her, exchanging pleasantries with the same people. Shikamaru looked like he had fallen asleep in his chair.

Naruto handed the sketches back to Sakura, scratching the back of his head with his other hand. The were essentially alone, so now was as good a time as any.

“Um… Hey, Sakura?”

“Yeah?” She asked as she leaned down to put the sketches into her small portfolio. “What is it?” She asked again, looking up at the blond. She gave him a questioning look as she stood up. Naruto took another second to gather his courage before asking.

“I was just thinking… you want to get dinner with me tonight? We can go to a nice restaurant and I’ll pay for whatever you want. Or maybe you’d like to see a movie or a play instead?” What did New York girls do for fun?! Regardless, Naruto ended with a smile, his face tinted slightly pink.

Sakura frowned and her eyes darted to the side before they refocused on him. Crap, that wasn’t a good sign.

“I’m sorry, I’m busy tonight. Tsunade is taking me to dinner with some of our stockholders. You know, so they can get to know me a little,” she said, a hand playing with the frills on the end of her sleeve. She was a Lolita again today.

Naruto suddenly realized that Sakura had been looking at Tsunade when she had glanced away. “Oh. OH! Okay! Maybe some other time?” He asked, unable to keep hopeful tone from his voice.

“I’m going to be really busy for a while…” Sakura teetered off at the end.

Okay, now Naruto’s hopes were crushed. Shit. Time for some damage control. Naruto placed his hands in his pockets and plastered a smile on his face.

“I should have figured you’d be busy!” He knocked on his head. “Sometimes I wonder if there’s anything going on up there! You have an important fashion show to get ready for after all!”

Sakura looked relieved that he had let the dinner invitation drop. “But you’re going too! You’re the photographer after all.”

Naruto’s eyes widened a little. “Oh yeah. I should probably cover that.”

Sakura laughed. “You think? Geez,” she said as she reached down for her portfolio. “See you tomorrow, Naruto.”

Naruto gave a small awkward wave as Sakura left. She exchanged a short word with Tsunade as she went out the door.

Once she was out of sight Naruto slumped forward, his face nearly touching his chest. He was tempted to bang his head against the table. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Heh, smooth.” Kiba clamped a hand down on Naruto’s shoulder. Startled, the photographer jumped before he could stop himself and then made up for it by whipping his head around to glare at his supposed friend. That just made the dog boy laugh even more.

“Hey, don’t sweat it, Jersey boy! I hear there’s lots of other fish in the sea. And at strip clubs!”

“Fantastic,” Naruto grouched. Damnit, didn’t Kiba understand that he wanted to mope? Fucking eavesdropper.

Tsunade approached them, ignoring Kiba and speaking directly to the blond, “Naruto, run a quick errand for me.” She held out an envelope. “Take this down to the mailing room and have them send it off.”

Naruto’s mouth fell open. “Eh?! What am I? A delivery boy?”

“Of course not, and don’t complain, brat. I just thought you could save me a trip since you’re finished for the day anyway.” She held the envelope closer and Naruto took it, snorting as he did so.

“Fine, you old hag.”

Tsunade smiled in response; apparently she was aiming to hold a civil conversation today. “We haven’t had many chances to talk. How are the photo shoots coming?”

“Yeah, how are they coming?” Kiba echoed the woman. Naruto elbowed him in the gut, causing Kiba to recoil from his shoulder, clutching his stomach and cursing loudly. Naruto smirked.

Tsunade frowned and lowered her eyebrows. “What’s wrong?”

“Ah, nothing I can’t handle!” Naruto held up a fist, demonstrating his determination. “I told ya I didn’t like snooty models, so we just don’t get along all the time. That’s all, nothing serious.”

Tsunade rolled her eyes. “Just don’t cause too much trouble. But as far as I’m concerned you can badger the models all you want.”

Naruto’s mouth stretched into a small, evil grin and he rubbed his hands together. “Excellent.”

Tsunade rolled her eyes. “Just get a move on, brat. I have to have a word with Shino and Kiba.”

“Fine, fine! I’m going!” Naruto walked over to the door, saying a quick goodbye to the two editors as he left.

He was halfway to the elevator before he heard pounding footsteps behind him. He looked back to see Kiba sprinting towards him, pulling a very excited Akamaru with him.

“Ah, hey, sorry Naruto, but do you think you could take Akamaru outside for a minute? He has some business to do and Tsunade gets mad when we skip out on meetings for potty breaks,” Kiba spoke quickly, obviously in a rush.

Naruto snorted in amusement and grabbed the dog’s collar. “You’re really hopeless, you know that? I’ll bail you out this time, even though you don’t deserve it.”

“Much obliged! Just put him in my office when you’re done!” Kiba shouted over his shoulder, already running back towards the conference room.

Naruto squatted down and scratched the top of Akamaru’s head, trying to calm the animal a little. Akamaru licked up and down Naruto’s face, his mouth hanging open in what looked like a lopsided smile. Naruto laughed and had to turn away to keep drool from getting in his eyes and mouth.

He rubbed the dog’s back, a small frown forming on his face. “I really liked her, you know.”

Akamaru yawned, making a groaning sound as he did so.

Pulling Akamaru by the collar, Naruto made the short trek to Kiba’s office were he grabbed Akamaru’s collar. He had stuffed Tsunade’s letter in his pocket for safekeeping. He should probably deliver that before the large dog jumping on him compromised its safety much more.

Naruto stepped out of the elevator on the ground floor, Akamaru walking beside him, and made his way to the mailing room. As he was pushing open the swinging door, Akamaru decided it was a good time to give a deafening bark and jump up to lick Naruto’s face, pushing Naruto into the door and slamming it open.

Naruto yelled more in surprise than pain, but was still able to hear a small gasp and the sound of papers falling to the floor. Pushing Akamaru back, he looked over to see a girl with long dark hair hastily gathering envelopes off the floor.

“Damn! I’m sorry we scared you!” Naruto rushed forward and began picking up the envelopes with one hand, using the other to hold Akamaru still.

The girl looked up slightly, a blush running across her nose and cheeks. “It’s okay… I’ve got it,” she said timidly, though she had momentarily stopped trying to pick up the envelopes as Naruto hectically pushed them into a pile, most flying off as he did so.

Naruto realized he was probably doing more harm than good and stopped, sitting back on his heels as the girl calmly gathered the envelopes into a straight pile.

“Sorry about this,” Naruto apologized again, and then he turned to glare at Akamaru. The dog just continued to pant. “Don’t look so innocent! This was your doing, dog!”

The girl giggled but quickly stifled it. She stood up with the envelopes, her eyes decidedly looking everywhere but Naruto’s face.

Naruto stood also, raising an eyebrow at her strange behavior. “So what’s your name?” he asked.

The girl turned several shades of red and proceeded to stare at her feet. “Hi- Hinata… Hyuuga.”

Naruto did a double take. “Hyuuga?”

She nodded quickly.

“You wouldn’t be related to Neji Hyuuga, would you?”

“He’s my cousin,” she stuttered, twisting the envelopes in her hands. “He- He got me this job in the mailroom. Just for the summer. Before I go back to class.”

Naruto blinked and watched the shy girl squirm for another moment before a slow grin spread across his face. Well, slap my hide! Neji has a soft spot after all. How cute is this? Looking out for his little cousin.

Naruto chuckled and held up a hand, pointing the thumb at himself. “Well, I’m the one photographing that cousin of yours! Naruto Uzumaki, best photographer in town!”

The girl looked up so Naruto could see her eyes clearly for the first time, they were the same pearly shade as Neji’s. She smiled slightly. “I know, you told everyone in the cafeteria…”

“Ah… you saw that?” Naruto scratched a hand through his hair. He was a little embarrassed that such a sweet girl had already witnessed him flying off the handle.

Hinata nodded, gathering strength for what she was about to say next. “It was bra-brave of you, to stand up to them like that. Neji too. He… sometimes thinks very highly of himself.”

Naruto had to stop himself from laughing too loudly at that, though some chuckles still out. “Yeah, heh, I noticed.”

By now Akamaru had wound around his legs a few times and was starting to whimper, nails clacking against the floor as he impatiently batted his paws at Naruto’s feet. “Don’t be so impatient, Akamaru!”

“That’s Kiba’s dog, isn’t it?” Hinata asked quietly, leaning down and holding out the palm of her hand for Akamaru to sniff. Which he did, with great interest, before licking her fingers.

Naruto knew Hinata was letting her hand get slobbered coated just out of politeness. God, no sane person would allow that willingly. He pulled back on Akamaru’s leash to relieve the girl.

“Yeah! Kiba’s in a meeting so he asked me to take Akamaru outside for some business of his own.” He grinned a little, “We’d probably better get on that, actually.” Before he gets pissed and goes on my leg.

“Ah…okay,” she fidgeted, wringing her hands together in a nervous gesture. Hinata was really just too adorable. Neji was lucky.

Naruto snickered, “I’ll let you get back to work. Oh! But could you add this to your stack?” He reached into his pocket for Tsunade’s envelope. He’d almost forgotten.

“Of- Of course.” She took it from him, face turning red again as she snatched it from him the moment their fingers touched. She was so twitchy.

Naruto shrugged it off, everyone had their quirks. Heck, about eighty percent of his wardrobe was bright orange. He was in no position to judge.

“See you around, Hinata!” He waved as he led Akamaru out of the room.

Hinata waved back, making sure the sound of Naruto’s footsteps was well away from the room before she leaned against the wall, trying her best to compose herself.

-:-

Naruto glared at his watch, checked it with the one on the wall again and grunted irritably. Where the fuck were his models?!

He looked over to where Sakura and Ino were sitting in two foldout chairs, talking about makeup or some shit like that. Naruto couldn’t really pay attention to that kind of thing for very long without falling asleep, so he settled for huffing and pacing around the studio instead.

After a few more minutes he couldn’t hold it in anymore. “This is just stupid! Usually at least Sai shows up on time! Where are those jerks?”

Sakura and Ino looked up but didn’t respond. Apparently they had no idea either.

He glanced at the clock again. It was now twenty after. If they weren’t here by ten thirty he was going home.

Pleased with his decision, he continued to wear a path in the tiled floor.

“I think I have an idea where they might be,” Sakura said, speaking more to Ino than Naruto. Both blondes whipped their heads around.

“Ooh, where?” Ino asked with interest, interpreting Sakura’s tone as that of someone hiding a juicy piece of gossip.

Sakura couldn’t keep the mischievous smile from her face. “The weight room. Tenten said she was going to give them a hard workout today.”

“What the-? But we have a photo shoot scheduled!” Naruto shouted, holding his camera up to emphasize his point.

“What?! And you didn’t tell me!” Ino shouted at Sakura, excitement radiating from her thin form as she jumped to her feet.

“I didn’t think they’d be over there until later!” Sakura defended herself.

“Well thanks to you we might have missed all the good stuff by now!”

Naruto scowled. “Good stuff?”

Sakura growled and stood up. “You just want to ogle Sasuke, Pig!”

“Not true,” Ino responded confidently, folding her arms. “I like ogling all of them. Especially when they’re hot and sweaty.”

Sakura seemed placated. “Well maybe if we hurry…”

Naruto rolled his eyes and stepped forward. “Come on, let’s go find them.” So I can beat the crap out of them and drag their asses back here.

“You don’t have to come, Naruto,” Ino responded quickly.

“No, I think I do.” He placed a hand on each of their backs and directed them towards the door. “Let’s go break up their tea party, girls!”

Sakura and Ino pouted as they led the way to the weight room, Naruto walking behind them with his hands folded behind his neck. He sighed to himself, closing his eyes momentarily. Even though Naruto was grateful that Sakura was still treating him normally after she rejected his date offer, her obvious infatuation with Sasuke was grating. That pansy ass jerk didn’t deserve her attention.

They had to take the elevator down and by the time they got off Sakura and Ino didn’t really care if Naruto was there or not. They wanted to see sweaty models, god damn it! They sprinted the last few steps to the weight room door, eagerly pressing against the window, each vying for the best vantage point at which to watch Sasuke.

Naruto walked up behind them and stretched a little to look over their heads into the gym area.

It was a large room with matted floors and exercise equipment strewn about. Tenten was at one side of the room, demonstrating leg-lift aerobics as Gai and Lee enthusiastically followed along, encouraging an obviously exhausted and irritable Neji to continue. Because he stubbornly refused to wear spandex he didn’t have as wide a range of motion as the green beasts.

Gaara was nearby with a twenty-pound weight in each hand, slowly flexing his arms as he lifted them and brought them down again. He looked extremely bored, or at least less psychotic than normal. Kankuro and Temari were standing to the side, holding his towel and water bottle.

Unsurprisingly, Sasuke was furthest from the group. He had found a punching bag to beat up on while Kakashi leaned against the wall and read his book. Sasuke seemed to be working off a lot of steam on it too. He was also wearing a loose fitting tank top and low riding sweatpants.

Sakura and Ino were immediate turned to putty. Naruto thought he might look down and see a yellow and pink puddle soaking into his shoes.

“Wow,” Ino breathed through a leering smile.

Naruto grunted and glared. “So he’s wearing a tank top shirt. Big deal, I could do that. At least I have the muscles to fill it out.”

“Naruto! Quit being obnoxious, we’re trying to watch!” Sakura hissed in a low voice.

Naruto pouted and grumbled under his breath for the next few minutes, turning away from door. He really wanted to go in and yell at his models for being late. Especially Sasuke. Particularly Sasuke.

A loud gasp was issued from both of girls. Naruto quickly turned and look into the room, thinking there had been some kind of accident.

“He took off his shirt!” Ino narrated with an excited squeal. Sakura was too red faced to speak.

Naruto deflated. “I’ll alert the media,” he deadpanned.

Yeah, Sasuke had taken off his shirt. Whoop-de-doo. He was pretty scrawny really, maybe a few muscles in his arms and chest, but nothing to get this worked up over. But now that Naruto was looking more closely, he noticed that the bastard had wrapped bandages around his hands for added protection as he continued his abuse of the punching bag. His hands… were raw. How far did he intent to go? You’d think he was trying to break that thing.

“What a nice surprise,” a voice breathed in Naruto’s ear. The blond jerked away from his assailant, only to see Sai wearing his usual fucked up smile standing behind them. The model’s voice held a hint of excitement that was disturbingly similar to Ino’s. “I didn’t realize you were a voyeur!”

“WHAT?!!” Naruto blurted.

“Eh? Sai!” Sakura tore her eyes away from Sasuke, having the decency to look guilty while Ino stared on, unabated.

“No, please. Don’t stop on my account, Sakura. In fact, why don’t you all come inside? The view is much better.”

Sai pushed the door open and walked inside, politely holding it open for the others. Ino and Sakura gave each other a look before following. Naruto sent Sai death glares as shuffled inside, keeping in mind the reason he came here in the first place.

When Sai had opened the door, the first thing Naruto heard was an argument that sounded like Neji bitching. Tenten was steadfast in her position that sweat was good for the skin. Neji insisted that his skin got dry after a hard workout. Gai and Lee was trying to placate the two, but looked around when Naruto and others had entered the gym. Lee bound over to them, already worked into a youthful frenzy.

“Friends! Join us in our youthful exercising! We must not waste the springtime of our lives!”

Sasuke halted mid punch, sweat caused by exertion rolled down his row as he glanced over at the newcomers, only to be met with Naruto’s best ‘I hate your guts’ glare. Sasuke kept his face perfectly schooled, showing no reaction to the hostility. Sakura and Ino had arrived with him, but Lee was distracting them with his overt ranting. Sasuke decided it was a good time to grab his shirt.

Naruto gritted his teeth when Sasuke turned away and went pick up his discarded shirt from the floor. The fact that Naruto hated him didn’t bother Sasuke at all!

Naruto snorted and turned away.

“Shouldn’t you guys be at a photo shoot about now?” he asked shortly.

“I apologize.”

Slightly startled, Naruto looked around for the new person he hadn’t noticed. Then he realized with a start that Gaara was the one who had spoken. Naruto went slack jawed when the red head continued.

“The clock in this room is broken. We should have checked the time,” Gaara said in a dark, but oddly human sounding voice. Naruto was so dumbfounded all he could do was nod and clear his throat.

“That- That’s okay. It’s not really a big deal,” he murmured. “Just uh, you know, don’t do it again.” So much for laying the smack down. When Gaara apologizes - you listen.

Apparently others felt the same because most of the conversations had come to a halt by the time Gaara nodded and returned to lifting his weights.

Gai and Lee eventually broke the silence by encouraging Naruto and the girls to join in, explaining how healthy exercise was. With Gai’s added enthusiasm they didn’t have the power to refuse.

By the end of the first workout Naruto was in a much better mood. He always felt better when he could work off some steam. Tenten led the session after beating Neji’s skin issues into submission. Naruto would have to ask her how she did that.

Sakura and Ino were disappointed when they realized that Sasuke had put his shirt back on. Sai tried to make up for it by taking off his own shirt. Ino thought it was a nice conciliation and Sakura just got huffy.

Naruto eventually moved on to his forte, the weights.

-:-

Sasuke was attempting to ignore that moronic photographer’s boasting. He was fighting tooth and nail against the urge to just strangle the blond for being such a loudmouthed idiot.

But Naruto had the type of personality that demanded attention and that trait extended itself all the way from his choice of clothing to his obnoxiously loud voice. Naruto’s voice was boring into Sasuke’s skull like a drill and he couldn’t ignore it.

“I bet you pissy models never work up a real sweat, you’re all skin and bone!” “Hey! Everybody watch me! I’m going to lift this thing! Are you watching?!” “Man! I’m kinda hungry. After this let’s get some ramen, okay?” “Sai! Get the fuck away from me!!” “Ha! I bet you the bastard couldn’t even lift fifty pounds!”

Sasuke would not allow something like this to get under his skin. He was above it. He was an Uchiha and therefore a master of his emotions.

Kakashi glanced over the top of his book. Sasuke was punches were laced with badly restrained anger, sending the two hundred pound bag flying around like a rag doll.

“Whoo!! Sakura, Ino, did you see that! I just bench pressed a hundred and thirty pounds that time!” Naruto’s shout was heard from across the room. “That’s ten pounds over my average! I’m on fire today!”

Sasuke gritted his teeth ground his fist into the bag, imaging it was Naruto’s jaw instead. That moron would not shut up. It felt like he had been going on for hours, stroking his own ego and bragging endlessly. And… Sasuke could bench press one hundred and fifty.

“Something the matter, Sasuke?” Kakashi’s voice wafted towards him.

“No,” was the clipped answer.

“That’s pretty impressive, Naruto,” Ino commented, sounding sincerely impressed.

“That was amazing!” Gai cheered. “That is nearly the same level as Lee! To have such young prodigies in our midst-” Gai became teary eyed and clinched his fists. “I insist you engage in a match to test your strength!”

“Ooooohh!!” Lee shouted with enthusiasm, fire burning in his eyes.

Naruto laughed in amusement, folding his arms behind his head. “Why not? I used to be on the wrestling team back in high school. Sounds like fun!”

Neji’s eyebrow ticked. He was ruffled and disgruntled from the workout session already, he didn’t want to stick around for more. “If you’re going to waste time I’m going to take a shower.”

Naruto grinned after the model’s retreating back. Neji’s hair was sticking out at odd angles and Naruto thought he could spot a few split ends. He wouldn’t be surprised if they heard a shriek when Neji managed to find a mirror.

“Your loss!” Naruto called as Neji disappeared into the locker room.

“It certainly is,” Sai agreed in a sultry tone. Predictably, Naruto exploded in indignation.

Shortly after Naruto and Lee faced off on opposite ends of a mat. Even Gaara and his siblings had come forward to watch the match, though Temari and Kankuro looked more astounded at Gaara’s show of interest.

Sasuke glanced over his shoulder at the group, realizing most of them, including Naruto and models, were partially hidden from view. He sent Kakashi a glare that plainly told the lazy detective to do his fucking job and get over there.

“Maa, don’t be such a worrier, Sasuke. Nothing can happen here. Besides, changing our behavior now might cause suspicion,” Kakashi said in a low voice, never lowering his book.

Sasuke’s glare intensified and he paused his workout, turning towards the group. Kakashi sighed as he watched Sasuke come to his decision and walk towards them.

“That boy never does anything halfway.”

Using the prerequisite of grabbing a towel from the laundry cart to get a better vantage point, Sasuke whipped his face and looked over at two men facing each other.

“Remember, Naruto, it took both you and your friend to take me down last time,” Lee warned, standing steadily with one hand held out and the other behind his back. Sasuke recognized the karate position.

“Heh, that’s just because you caught me off guard. Don’t expect to get so lucky again,” Naruto said with a confidant smirk, standing with his feet set far apart and his arms up like he was ready tackle his opponent.

They circled around each other a few times before Lee made the first move, sliding his leg forward in an attempt to knock Naruto off his feet. Naruto dodged just in time and made to grab Lee by the crook of his arm. The green beast was too fast for him however and included capture.

This continued, both trying and failing to hit the other, until Naruto found an opening and grabbed Lee around the shoulders from behind, locking his arms in place. Lee struggled vigorously but couldn’t break free of Naruto’s brute strength and had no choice but to graciously concede defeat.

“Naruto, you are truly a worthy opponent.” Lee flashed a smile and gave the nice-guy pose. “I am proud to have fought you!”

Gai’s tears were overflowing again. “Lee, you are truly a gracious man in the prime of his youth!” Sakura and Ino scooted away from him slowly.

Naruto, for his part, was busy doing a victory dance, whooping as he scooted back and forth across the mat. “Ha ha! Nothing to feel bad about! Losing to me is something you get used to!”

Sasuke stared. He couldn’t help it; there was a word on the tip of his tongue begging to escape. It rose and left his mouth before he could even think about stopping it.

“Dobe.”

Naruto whirled around, his ears immediately zeroing in on the insult (although technically he didn’t know what dobe meant, Naruto recognized an insult when he heard one), his face contorted in anger before he even faced Sasuke.

“Oh? You’ve finally decided to speak? Coward!”

No. Naruto had not just said that. Sasuke bared his teeth, eyes turning sharp.

Everyone but Naruto retreated few steps under Sasuke’s intense glare, but the blond shrugged it off, flipping his hand in a gesture to shoo Sasuke away.

“If you’re scared off by one little insulting picture, I’d hate to see how you fare in the real world,” Naruto continued. “You wouldn’t understand people who actually have to live with hardships.”

That struck a cord and Sasuke snapped. He forgot that Naruto might be a serial killer. He forgot that he had already screwed up once before. He forgot that Kakashi was watching, along with all the other people he was forced to spend time with. Including two annoying girls who screamed as his fist plowed into Naruto’s face. He wanted to hurt this guy. A lot.

“Whoa! WHOA!” Tenten ran forward as a full-blown fistfight erupted before them. She grabbed each of the boy’s arms and attempted to wrench them apart, but they were so intent on killing each other that it took Gai, Lee, Kankuro and Sai’s added help they were finally separated.

“If you two are going to fight like thugs, get the hell out of my gym,” Tenten snarled, keeping her arms locked around Naruto’s arm.

Naruto stopped fighting, though Sai’s grip around his waist remained unusually tight. “It’s that damn bastard’s fault! He just flipped out! He’s insane!”

“Keep talking, Uzumaki, and I’ll rip that mouth right off your face,” Sasuke promised darkly.

Kakashi stared. Come Come Paradise had nearly slipped from his slack fingers. That’s how astonished he was. Sasuke was assaulting their target. Perfect record, obsessive-compulsive, Itachi’s little shadow, was physically assaulting Naruto and putting their cover in jeopardy. He tried to figure out a creative way around reporting the messy ordeal unfolding before him.

“Pffffh! I’d like to see you try!” Naruto held up his fists, straining against the people holding him back. “Let me go so I can kick his ass!”

By now Sasuke had regained some of his sanity and was suffering from an internal panic attack, which was odd because his exterior was still brimming with anger. He would be taken off the case; there was no doubt about that. The least he could do was give Naruto a good beating first.

Both boys were forcibly escorted from the gym, Tenten, Sai and Kankuro dragging a fighting Naruto into the hallway while Gai and Lee insisted that Sasuke take a shower to cool down.

Since Naruto and Sasuke had been separated Kakashi stood from where he had been leaning against the wall observing and made his way into the hallway. He wound his way through the building until he was sure he was alone, settling on a secluded hallway that seemed to be unused.

Kakashi pulled down the front of his mask and lifted the band covering his eye. Wires were running from his ears, where small nearly invisible ear buds were hiding, down to the neck of his shirt, connecting to the transmission device hidden in an inner pocket. From above his eye, previously covered by the band, he pulled down a microphone. It was attached to his left earpiece and curved around his face to the front of his mouth.

He smirked. And Sasuke said the disguise for his transmission wires was stupid and obvious.

Kakashi tapped the microphone, somewhat puzzled when all he could pick up was static.

“Bang, Good Boy, do you read me?”

He heard shuffling and something that sounded like a voice masked by the static. He tapped the earpiece again and waited. After a few minutes the voice spoke again, much more clearly this time.

“Bang here. Sorry Copy Cat, somebody spilled coffee all over our wires.”

Nearby, Good Boy whimpered and the unmistakable thump of Bang hitting him upside the head followed. Kakashi sighed.

“So how long were you out of commission?” he asked, choosing his words carefully.

“We haven’t gotten any feed for the last twenty minutes. I only just now got it back online.”

“Ahh,” Kakashi’s drawling voice came over the speaker in the van. Deidara elbowed Tobi in ribs, pushing the clumsy policeman away from the delicate equipment and as well as his own personal space.

They were stationed in a surveillance van in the Konoha parking lot, gathering evidence. Or rather, gathering and organizing two months worth of audio feed.

“Why? Did anything happen?” Deidara asked.

Kakashi hmmed, vocally indicating that he was thinking it over. “Nothing worth the trouble of noting,” he answered finally. “I separated from Sasuke so I have to go find him now. Tell Good Boy not to be such a screw up.”

“Eh?! You too, Copy Cat?! Why is everyone so mean to me?!” Tobi cried.

Kakashi didn’t have to be present to visualize Tobi’s arms flaying around like a little kids. He sometimes pondered how he had managed to become best friends with an annoying kid from his childhood, but then he figured there were more interesting ways to preoccupy his mind.