Let a waiter deliver

Shikamaru sighed, stretching his arms up above his head. He’d finally gotten back from the movies, after being grilled by the two girls. It had been a nightmare, not worth reliving.

“Time for a good nap...” He said, settling back on his bed. Before he could get comfortable, his phone went off. Shikamaru grumbled, rolling over and snatching it up, planning on opening it and shutting it to cut the viciously loud Disturbed song short.

“…Why is Naruto calling me?” He said, seeing the name displayed on the phone. He knew the blond would only call back, or leave a message that would then ring. Fuck.

“…Yes?” He said tiredly. He could almost feel Naruto’s energy roil through the phone.

“Shikamaru, you’re coming over!” Naruto exclaimed. Shikamaru let his head rest on the pillow, closing his eyes. He made a noncommittal noise in his throat.

“Now!” The Nara sighed, letting himself relax, feeling the sweet caress of sleep, begging him away like the fairest of sweet voiced lovers. Oh, to give himself to their embrace…

“No. It’s midnight.” He said, almost sullenly. Naruto huffed from his end.

“Come onnnn, it’s not that late!”

“Midnight.”

“That’s noth-”

“Midnight. Sleep. Bye.” He pulled the phone from his ear but heard the blond talking as he did so. He contemplated just closing it, but sighed. He might call back…

“-so I can pick you up around noon, ‘kay?” Shikamaru blinked, wondering how the boy would accomplish this with no car of his own and no family to borrow from. He decided not to ask.

“Why noon?” He gave in, wondering why he bothered with even that. Well, if Naruto explained he might be able to reason him back a few hours…

“Because that’s the soonest I can get Kiba to pick us up, like I just said.” Naruto said, happiness coloring his voice around the whining. Shikamaru grunted. Naruto seemed so set on it, it would be too troublesome to argue for just a few hours more of sleep.

“Fine. Tomorrow at noon then.” At that he shut his phone.
------------------------------------------------------------------
“Man, you know how mean you are making me do this?” Kiba said, swinging the wheel to his mother’s car and turning the whole of the beast back onto the road. His mother couldn’t have a regular mid-life crisis viper, no, she had to be stable…somewhat and only want a giant truck with giant wheels attached to lift it even further from the ground.

At least it was red.

“How am I mean? You get to drive your mom’s truck this way!” Naruto said, peering at all the little cars going by. The truck on its standard wheels was above them, with its practically-monster-truck wheels he actually expected Kiba to run some of the tiny Hondas down.

“Put I don’t get to hang with you and Shika! I have to friggin’ wash this beast, which takes for fucking ever, and then take care of the dogs until my mom and sis get home.” Kiba griped, pulling into the Nara’s driveway. Naruto rolled his eyes, unbuckling and opening the door, bracing his legs for the jump.

“That’s not my fault man. You shouldn’t have put it off then, hasn’t she been asking for like, weeks now?” Kiba grumbled an affirmative, the blond laughing as he made the leap, almost stumbling as he landed. He went up to the door, brushing at his pants shakily as he rang the doorbell.

And rang it again.

And again.

“Shikamaruuuu, I told you noooon…” He groaned, testing the lock. Surprisingly it was unlocked. “Thank god, I don’t think I’d survive climbing his fence like last time…” He said, stepping inside.

He quickly ascended the stairs, skidding in front of Shikamaru’s door. He opened it, nearly tripping over discarded clothing and game cords, toppling a pile of books that toppled another and another until he was sure he needed a second hand.

“Oops…” Naruto froze, one foot in the air. Shikamaru, curled up on his bed, made no move. Naruto breathed out; despite the fact he was aiming to wake the teen up. It was still a close call.

“Hey, Shikamaru…Wake up.” Naruto whispered once he’d made it too the Nara’s bedside. Nothing but a moved arm. Naruto smirked, lifting the covers, sliding in. He squirmed over, spooning against the Nara and whispering directly into his ear.

“Wakey wakey eggs and bakey sorry no steaky for such a fakey but my toes are achy and quaky from the rakey matey!” Naruto rambled, throwing in as many words as he could think of too add to the sentence. He felt rather proud by the end.

“…Naruto?” Shikamaru murmured, having come awake at ‘fakey’ and been thrown into utter confusion. Toes? Rakes? What was going on now?

“Yes! It’s noon. Wakey wakey eggs and bakey-” prepared to go on, Naruto wasn’t prepared for Shikamaru rolling over, leaving him flush against Naruto and nose to nose.

“Um…sorry...no steaky?” Shikamaru smirked, placing a hand on his chest, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

“Next time just pull the covers off.” With that he pushed the blond off, chuckling as his friend flailed around on the ground, having taken the blanket with him somehow. He thought about getting up, but then decided against it, laying back.

“Naruto. Grab my pants.” He said, propping his hands behind his head, lifting his legs and bending one, placing the foot of his other leg onto the bent knee in a relaxed pose. He’d only been sleeping in boxer.

Naruto stood, having escaped the confines of the comforter. He glanced at Shikamaru, flushing slightly, before turning to the room.

“Uhh…what’s clean?” He asked. Shikamaru sighed, though not annoyed.

“Anything on the floor is clean unless it’s near the hamper.” He said. “Get me a shirt while you’re at it.” He continued, closing his eyes and imagining clouds passing by and a warm sun. Maybe he’s at a beach.

A deserted beach.

“Do you want me to dress you as well, highness?” Naruto said, holding the clothes above Shikamaru’s head, dangling. The Nara snorted, opening his eyes.

“If you want too, go ahead.” He said, holding his hands up like he was waiting for Naruto to slip the shirt over them. Naruto rolled his eyes, laughing.

“Maybe I will!” He said, dropping the pants and taking out the shirt. The Nara raised a brow, watching as Naruto got it onto his arms. He was suddenly tugged up, none too gently, by the Uzumaki and all he could see was the color of the shirt, which he hadn’t bothered to look at until then.

Pink.

He didn’t know he even owned pink.

“There! Need me to get your pants on?” Naruto snickered, patting Shikamaru’s back. The Nara looked down, slightly disturbed at just how…girly pink it was.

“Where did you find this?” He asked, unheeding of the other question. Naruto laughed outright, fingering the material lightly in acknowledgment.

“It was nestled deep in your closet. Dude, where did you get half that stuff?” Shikamaru groaned, falling back. Ino. And Sakura. Damn them both.

“Never mind. No human eyes were meant to ever see into that abyss. It’s just where I throw the gag things woman…and Kiba buy me.” Shikamaru said, throwing an arm over his eyes.

“Well, at least it’s funny.” The Nara lifted his arm, glancing down. The words scrawled across it were in a lighter pink sprinkled with pink sparkles. It read:

This shirt isn’t pink. You’re just colorblind.

“…At least it used proper grammar.” He spoke at last. It was a good thing he didn’t have too bad of pants, just some really gay whitewashed stuff or expensively ripped on purpose before you buy jeans.

Naruto had chosen a blasphemous combination, jeans white washed to be stylish and purposeful paint flecks and holes adorning it, particularly one red rimmed hole right at the crotch.

“Were you looking in there thinking ‘gay’ or something?” Shikamaru said as he reluctantly pulled them on. Naruto gave him a strange look, making the other pause. “What?”

“You’re not going to change boxers?” Naruto asked, voice colored with a bit of ‘ew’ as he said it. Shikamaru raised a brow. Naruto looked unflinching. He sighed.

“If it disgusts you that much fine.” He said, slipping out of the jeans. He surveyed his room, before finding a suitable black loose pair. He got up, walking over and pulling his current boxers down.

Naruto watched all the while, licking his lips as Shikamaru bent forward, boxers off and exposing his ass perfectly for his view. He could even see a little bit of something else he’d been dreaming of off and on since that phone call.

He hadn’t changed out of this pair of boxers in three days.

“There, happy?” Shikamaru said, turning around with his fresh boxers, grabbing the pants and pulling them on. Naruto nodded, eyes re-focusing on the boy in front of him. He actually looked pretty good in the pink shirt and pants.

Gay. Utterly, flamboyantly gay. But pretty good.

“Yes, now let’s go! Kiba’s waiting.” Naruto said, leaping up and heading towards the door, tripping over the same tangle of wires and knocking down what few stack of books hadn’t fallen from his last accidental Godzilla move. Shikamaru sighed.

“Joy…”
------------------------------
“Oh my god Shikamaru’s bringing sexy back hard core style!” Kiba burst out upon seeing the pink bedecked boy, reading his shirt and snickering even more. Shikamaru narrowed his eyes, huffing silently as he climbed in, stretching his leg up and pretty much jumping.

Naruto enjoyed the, once again perfect, view of his ass, this time covered in jeans filled with minute holes giving him peaks at his boxers. He smirked, getting in behind the other.

“Thank you, thank you, I did provide. I had to wake him up.” Naruto said proudly, slamming the door and buckling in. Shikamaru sighed, crossing his legs as he got squished between Naruto and Kiba and all the junk in the front seat. Both boys sniggered.

“Wow, I guess it’s what you wear…” Kiba said, pushing down on the pedal as he set the shift to reverse. Naruto’s snickering increased. Shikamaru crossed his arms, resisting the urge to flush, remaining quiet as he allowed them their little giggle fest.

He was changing as soon as he got to Naruto’s house anyway.
---------------------------
‘Why can’t I stop thinking about him…’ Naruto groaned internally. Currently he was sitting on his futon made couch, watching Shikamaru play Star Ocean.

It was his file, but it had reached the point where he needed to level up for a couple hours and well…Shikamaru could do it, he just sort of zoned out, able to actually think of something entertaining while killing monster after monster.

Naruto’s problem was that normally he did such things as get online, take a nap, or do his best to try and distract Shikamaru just for fun. Even though in the end it would prolong the leveling up. Now though, he couldn’t keep his mind out of his friends’ pants.

His mind kept wondering, and fantasies kept plaguing his teenaged mind. The most common one was currently acting out behind his desperately closed eyelids, much to his chagrin. He just hoped the Nara didn’t ask him to get him a drink or anything involving standing up and showing off his tented crotch.

‘Oh god…he’s so close…’ Naruto saw his hand sliding over, touching at Shikamaru’s thigh, tentative. Shikamaru glanced over, raising a brow questioningly. Naruto smirked, sliding it further, to his inner thigh, drumming softly against the skin there.

Shikamaru had undressed as soon as he walked into Naruto’s room.

The Nara just smirked in return, raising his arms from where they’d rested near his knees as he sat criss-cross, eyes returning to the screen.

Naruto slid closer, his hand moving to cup Shikamaru’s groin, feeling a fast growing arousal there. He smiled, moving his other hand to help undress the other boy, letting him spill out over the hem of his boxers.

He licked his lips, loving the small sigh of pleasure Shikamaru allowed to slip past as he grasped the Nara’s now fully formed erection, squeezing lightly. The other boy leaned back, uncrossing his legs and letting them hang off the side.

As he began moving his hand, up and down while the other played with the Nara’s balls, he rested his cheek on Shikamaru’s shoulder. His own hard on was aching, but he’d get to that later. Right now it was doing it for him to watch his hand slide up and down, seeing his thumb rub across the head, squeezing the round orbs and feeling Shikamaru tense under his cheek.

As soon as the Nara started squirming, his hips moving just a little to follow his strokes, Naruto pulled back. He got onto his knees beside the boy, facing him, both hands on the Nara’s thigh.

He started leaning down, mouth opened half way, Shikamaru’s cock standing so gorgeously at attention, waiting for his attention…

“Naruto, you alive?” Shikamaru asked, reviving cliff from the brink of death and glancing at the blond out of his tail-eye. Naruto shook himself, licking his dry lips as the imagery of pre-cum staining them flashed across his mind.

“Y-yeah, just day-dreaming…How you doin’?” He asked, focusing back on the game. Shikamaru snorted, finishing up the battle before opening the main menu. Naruto whistled.

“Wow, you went up 6 levels while I wasn’t looking man!” Naruto said, amazed he’d been spacing out so long. Shikamaru chuckled lowly, resuming the game.

“Did you have a nice fantasy?” He asked casually, avoiding a monster that took to long and only gave him fol. He wanted experience.

“W-what? What are you talking about?!” Naruto stuttered, blushing. Shikamaru chuckled lowly, saving just in case before going off on another killing spree.

“Naruto, I don’t want to know. You just have a hard on is all.” He explained, glancing down at Naruto’s crotch before looking back at the screen. The Uzumaki flushed darker, shifting despite the fact there was no comfortable way to hide it.

“W-well, I mean, uhh…yeah.” Naruto crossed his legs, flush increasing as he winced, adjusting himself. He heard Shikamaru’s amused chuckling again.

“Naruto, calm down. You’re male right? It’s natural. Was it Sasuke?” His lips curled into a devious smirk at that, saving and putting the controller down. He turned to face Naruto, eyebrow raised.

“Were you dreaming about him sucking you off? That’s one of the most common fantasies for men.” He said, placing an elbow on a knee and his face in his palm. Naruto squirmed.

“I thought you didn’t want to know!” Naruto said uncomfortably, shifting so that he faced the other boy as well. He still didn’t feel all that comfortable with Shikamaru knowing he had an erection right in front of him. The other boy snorted.

“I didn’t, but your reaction intrigues me and the game’s become boring. And I know for a fact you won’t let me take a nap so.” He explained. He yawned for emphasis, lifting off of his knee and stretching his hands up above his head, arching his back as a series of pops sounded.

Naruto swallowed, all too easily seeing himself leaning forward, hand slipping over Shikamaru’s hip, the other rubbing into his own shaft to take the edge off, biting and licking at Shikamaru’s nipple, hand at his lower back and slipping his other up and under his hemline and god his cock was on fire, it felt so good too touch it-

“Naruto, hello? Right here?” Naruto snapped his eyes open, his hand rubbing slightly at his erection. He flushed, looking away as Shikamaru gave him concerned, slightly bemused eyes.

“Are you that sexually repressed? Maybe you should go take a shower.” He said, obviously hinting at Naruto taking care of it while in there. The blond blushed even harder, shaking his head stubbornly.

“I’m sorry, it’s just, you know, haven’t been with anyone in so long…your own hand gets kind of old, but desperate times call for desperate measures, right?” He said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. Shikamaru cocked his head to the side, considering.

“When was the last time you were with someone?” He asked. Naruto’s eyes widened, before he let his head fall back as he thought, trying to keep his mind from whispering ‘it doesn’t matter, opportunity is right here, just a foot away, Shikamaru wouldn’t mind’.

“Uhh…well…alright, I trust you. So, the last person I dated was that one dude from out of this high school, what’s-his-face who turned out too be a dick, but uhh…me and Kiba…had a thing.” Naruto finally supplied. Shikamaru was surprised by this, but nodded for the blond to continue. He was sure some people would be surprised if he told them about him and Gaara.

“Well, not much too that really. We were both horny and yeah…it’s not like either of us were virgins at the time, so it was pretty fast and stuff, and it wasn’t like, awkward or anything…” Naruto floundered, not really sure where Shikamaru was going with this.

‘Well, there went my idea.’ Shikamaru thought to himself. ‘Oh well, I’m sure Naruto wouldn’t have been all that into me helping him with his problem anyway, especially sine I’m a virgin and he’s been with people who aren’t.’

“Well, it sounds like you need to either download some better porn or get yourself a boyfriend.” The Nara advised instead, smiling encouragingly at his friend. Naruto flushed, thinking it was too much the minute he saw that smile turn devious and begin swallowing his cock down.

“I think…I will take that shower.” Naruto said, hurriedly standing and walking by Shikamaru. The boy laughed lowly, calling after him.

“I’ll try not to think about you all wet and naked without me.”
----------------------------
“Alright Sasuke, you can invite people if you want.” Itachi instructed as he whipped into the parking lot, slowing down to a safe speed only when he saw a parked police car with officers climbing out of it. Sasuke, not all too keen on coming with in the first place, sulked.

“But make sure it’s only people you know. I don’t want friends of a friends coming to my party.” The older Uchiha said, finding a spot near the front of the store. Sasuke sighed, unbuckling halfheartedly. No point in sitting in the car all alone while his brother went about buying the appropriate alcohol for his shindig.

“Why are you even throwing a party? You’re anti-social. You don’t have friends.” Sasuke finally replied, crossing his arms over his black shirt, regular jeans hanging off his hips as he walked. Itachi didn’t even give him a side-long glance.

“I do have friends at my college. I’m throwing the party to placate one of them in fact. Deidara refuses to allow me to go through the year without having taken part in and hosting one.” Itachi explained, wondering what kind of drink you provided at such things. Was it beer or vodka that partiers went for? Did they chug wine or was it cocktails?

“Sasuke, you’ve been drinking since you were 12. What would you suggest?” Itachi conceded, turning to his little brother. He had considered dabbling in alcohol and cigarettes a waste of time and never got into the habit. The boy flushed, turning his head away.

“Have not!” He said defensively. Itachi refrained from rolling his eyes, merely waiting. Sasuke sighed, eyeing the shelves.

“Why would I help you?” He said, tapping a foot impatiently. Itachi considered his options, before shrugging.

“I’ll let you have one of whatever you want from these shelves.” His baby brother’s eyes widened, before taking in the shelves with a much keener eye. He quickly pointed out what he wanted, before indicating what else to get.

“It really depends more on how drunk you want them to be and what kind of party games you’ll be having.” Sasuke said, watching Itachi to make sure he didn’t return his drink back to the shelves ‘on accident’. The elder Uchiha looked considering, before buying the drinks he found suitable.
------------------------------
“Kiba, you can drop me off at the store, all right?” Shikamaru said, shifting almost uncomfortably as he couldn’t help but remember what Naruto had said last night.

There was just something awkward about being a virgin in-between two people you know have had sex together.

“Sure thing, ma’am.” Kiba said, snickering as he threw an arm around Shikamaru’s shoulders, squeezing him in against his chest. The Nara scowled, pressing a hand against Kiba, trying to get away from the still overly-affectionate-puppy.

“Come on, haven’t you ever heard the whole ‘real men wear pink’ thing?” Naruto snickered, flinging his own arm over Shikamaru, stealing him away from Kiba. The Nara commenced pushing him away as well, muttering troublesome under his breath as he did so.

Kiba narrowed his eyes slightly as Naruto grabbed at Shikamaru, feeling his jealousy rise.

“Well, since he’s still a virgin, he’s not a real man no is he? So wearing pink just makes him a girl.” Kiba said jokingly, quickly reaching over and retrieving the Nara from Naruto’s hold. The blond narrowed his own eyes, mind racing to come up with a come back.

“Well being a virgin and still brave enough to wear pink makes him more man then you, Kiba.” He said smugly, grabbing Shikamaru’s arm and tugging. The Nara was beginning to feel like a rag doll and was thankful when the store came into sight, finally.

“You both can stop the pissing contest, I’m leaving soon.” He said when he saw Kiba about to fire off a retort. The Inuzuka glanced over, seeing Shikamaru was serious. He sighed. And Naruto had stuck his tongue out at him too…

“Fine, fine, whatever you say….ma’am.” He snickered, unable to keep that out of his ending statement. Shikamaru rolled his eyes.
-----------------------
Just as Sasuke was about to climb into his brothers car, a loud roaring met his ears. He turned, seeing a red semi-monster truck barreling down the lane, freaking out the drivers to the smaller cars. Behind the wheel was none other then Kiba, grinning and laughing.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

Naruto had his arm around Shikamaru. The other teen was wearing pink, standing out like a cardboard cut out in an anime against Naruto’s black, and looking just as misplaced.

“Itachi, let me take care of the cart.” Sasuke said, clinging to his bottle unconsciously in a protective manner as he stepped around the car, taking the wheeled thing from his brother and pushing it towards the off set place for carts. He watched the truck pull over, Shikamaru jumping down, the other two staying in, waving.

“Shikamaru Nara.” He said, loud enough for the boy too hear. He smirked, watching the Nara whirl around at his name. He took the time to sweep his eyes over his pink-clad and jean bedecked figure.

“…Sasuke Uchiha?” Shikamaru said, heart thudding in his chest. Okay, it was one thing for teachers and other students he had no name for but recognized from around his school to see him in an ungodly pink shirt, but Sasuke?!

“Yes.” Sasuke crossed his arms, though instead of the sulking manner he’d been doing so far today, it was more…casual, even inviting. Shikamaru’s eyes couldn’t help moving across the Uchiha’s body; despite the fact the clothing he wore wasn’t very figure showing. It was actually quite plain.

“Are you free this weekend?” Sasuke asked once Shikamaru’s gaze was back on his face. The boy’s eyes widened, a faint blush coming to his cheeks. Sasuke only smirked wider.

“Yes…why?” He asked suspiciously. Sasuke brandished the bottle he held, smiling engagingly at the other boy.

“My brother is throwing a party. I’m inviting you.” He said loftily. Shikamaru raised a brow at that, suspicions only heightening from the information. His eyes slid beyond Sasuke and his bottle of alcohol, seeing Itachi’s slick car and the dark haired man himself. Upon meeting eyes, Itachi turned, starting the car and backing out before heading over.

“Sasuke, are you done?” Itachi asked, looking over at the two. Sasuke scowled at him, slightly ticked from Shikamaru’s wondering gaze.

“I suppose I am. I was just inviting Shikamaru to the party.” Sasuke explained, the hand holding the bottle moving in the Nara’s direction, emphasizing the Nara. Itachi remained impassive as he slid his gaze directly onto the boy.

“I hope you can make it, Shikamaru.” He was amused too see the Nara tense, blushing slightly and moving his arms defensively over his suddenly butterfly infested belly. Sasuke’s scowl when he looked back at him just made it that much better.

“I’m sure that even if he did make it, you’d be so busy with your guests you wouldn’t get much more then a word in.” Sasuke gritted out. Shikamaru’s butterfly ridden stomach almost cramped from shock. Were the Uchiha brothers fighting over him?!

Itachi just gave a small tilt of lips, slipping his gaze once again from Sasuke too Shikamaru.

“I’m sure I could get away long enough to spend some time with him.” The elder Uchiha pointedly unlocked the door then, feeling that they’d been chatting long enough. Sasuke glared full on, facing Shikamaru one last time before climbing in beside his brother.

“I’ll be seeing you, Shikamaru. Pink really is your color.”

Shikamaru could be heard cursing as they drove away.
------------------------------------------
“Ah, feels good to be back at school, right?” Naruto said, stretching his hands above his head as he sat down next to Shikamaru. The Nara jerked, blinking from his nap.

“You mean on the way to school.” He said, yawning as the bus hissed, something somewhere doing something that signaled it was about to move. The blond only laughed.

“Riding the bus is a part of school. We’re already there once we get on.” He said. His eye caught on a small cut in the leather of the seat in front of him. His fingers couldn’t help picking at it.

“That’s either deep thinking or shallow reasoning.” Shikamaru said, letting his head fall on Naruto shoulder, exhaling. They had one more stop, and then it was too the school. He felt Naruto tense under his cheek, but just associated it too his arm moving as he picked at the hole feverishly.

“Y-yeah, let’s go with deep thinking!” He said, swallowing. He’d tried his best to masturbate to Sasuke, but all that he accomplished was seeing Shikamaru and Sasuke together. He couldn’t keep his dick in his pants around the Nara, and now the boy was right next to him, pressed so close.

He could lean over, tilt the boy’s face, kiss him softly and sweetly. They were on a school bus after all. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t start whispering naughty things into his ear as he nibbled it, things he’d love to do to him later, things like-

“I can’t tell which of you is less lucid. The one sleeping or the one daydreaming.” Naruto’s eyes snapped completely open, seeing someone he hadn’t seen close up outside of his and Shikamaru’s biology class.

“Sasuke?!” He flushed heavily, moving his backpack to cover his ‘problem’. The Uchiha raised an eyebrow at him, leaning his back against the window of the seat in front of the other two.

“I do ride this bus you know.” Sasuke said, smirking at the blond. Naruto stuttered, blushing harder and flailing his arms. Sasuke was supposed to ride this bus, but he always took his car to school.

“Naruto, quit moving…” Shikamaru said, barely opening his eyes as he yawned. Both of the males, eyes drawn to the boy as he spoke, felt their imaginations wander as Shikamaru’s mouth opened wide.

“Good morning, Shikamaru.” Sasuke said, almost smugly. Shikamaru’s eyes opened the rest of the way, surprise registering across his face.

“Sasuke?!” The Uchiha’s smug smile seemed to grow at that reaction.

“The one and only.” Shikamaru lifted off of Naruto, scratching behind his ear and suppressing another yawn. He was still trying to figure out why the Uchiha was on the bus, but since he was here and talking he knew he wouldn’t get back to sleep.

“…good morning to you to, Sasuke.” He said, his yawn finally forcing its way through. Sasuke shivered minutely, mind already wondering about the party this weekend. Naruto couldn’t help but remember last weekend.

“See you in biology.” Sasuke said as the bus rolled up to the school, students standing and shuffling for the door. Shikamaru didn’t know if Sasuke meant both Naruto and himself, or just one of them.
---------------------------------
No Naruto, you cannot light yourself on fire for the class presentation!” Iruka snapped, crossing his arms and tapping his foot impatiently. All he wants is a presentation of one form of worship that any religion outside of Christianity and all its branches did.

And Naruto finds the monks that light themselves on fire.

“But it’s what the monks do!” Naruto protested, much to the classes’ amusement and joy. If Naruto got into another argument with the teacher, it meant less work for them.

“No! It’s dangerous, unorthodox-” Iruka began listing, but was cut off by his brat of a student.

“Can I spin then?” Naruto’s eyes were sparkling.

“No! Why can’t you for once choose a normal thing for a project?” Iruka said rubbing at his temples as Naruto crossed his arms, huffing.

“So your making fun of them?” The blond accused. Iruka looked exasperated.

“School does not support religion, whether strange or normal.” The older man stated matter-of-factly, knowing it most likely wouldn’t deter the kid. Oh wait, the blond was supposed to be 18, and old enough to vote.

God help America.

“What does that have to do with-” Naruto began, but Iruka had had enough of this.

“The point is, you are NOT allowed to set yourself on fire, or spin around, even if that is what they do. Just choose something simple and bring in a sand garden.”

“You are seriously asking me to give up on lighting myself on fire or spinning around in circles in order to become closer to Him, for a bucket of sand.” Naruto looked genuinely insulted.

“It’s not a bucket of sand, and you know it!” Iruka snapped, glaring at the blond. Naruto smiled at him, shrugging.

“Your choice in the norm of religion disturbs me.” Iruka gave him a suspicious look. That was too easy…

“If I brought a bucket of sand in, buried my head in it, and did the presentation standing on my hands, would I get an A?” Naruto asked, smile breaking out into a grin.

“Naruto, no!” Iruka said, almost unbelieving of Naruto’s skill at annoyance.

And so it continued.
---------------------
“Dude, listen to this. I didn’t even know my mom could like something so…nice!” Kiba said as he pushed the end of his earbud headphones in so Shikamaru could listen. Janis Joplin, of all the singers.

“Who the hells Bobby?” He said after a while, pulling it out of his ear as they walked into psychology. Naruto was already sitting down at their table of four desks arranged into a square.

“Your bitch.” Kiba said, snickering as he sat across from the blond. Shikamaru sat next to the brunette, rolling his eyes at him.

“Who says I top? Maybe Bobby tops.” He said. Kiba raised a lecherous eyebrow at him, grinning lewdly.

“Hmm, well then, if Bobby ever wants to share you I’m allll for it…” Kiba said, leaning over and whispering it into Shikamaru’s ear. The Nara chuckled, pushing at Kiba’s chest.

“Heh, right, what if I said Bobby was better in bed than you huh?” He joked back. Naruto snorted, leaning his cheek on one hand as he listened in, enjoying their little discussion.

“Oh! Too the heart Shika, too the heart! You’re so mean too me.” Kiba laughed, pulling back. Naruto raised an eyebrow at Kiba, considering he took a lot of blows to the heart lately.

“Hey, Shika, what kind of name would you want if you were a girl?” Naruto asked as the conversation entered a small lull. The Nara tilted his head, considering.

“Anna.” Both Kiba and Naruto turned, questioning looks on their faces. Shikamaru gave them a bored, slightly defensive look. “What? It’s simple, easy, doesn’t stand out.”

“Boring!” Kiba said, waving his hand in the air in a mock lofty gesture. Naruto rolled his eyes, giving Kiba a look that pointedly said ‘so what’s yours then?’ Kiba beamed.

“Monica, duh.” He spoke as if it was oh-so-obvious. Kiba smirked. “Sounds like a stripper name to me.”

The other two rolled their eyes.

“Well I’d want something that was cool long, but simple short. Like Cassandra too Cassi or whatever.” Naruto said before the other two could ask. Kiba laughed.

“I banged a chick named Cassi once.” Shikamaru flushed, immediately remembering what Naruto had said about being with Kiba at least once before. Was Kiba alluding to that, or had he actually been with a girl?

“Class, we’re going to begin studying a thing called conditioning today. Classical conditioning.” The teacher spoke from the front of the room. The three boys hardly did more then glance before they were back on the more important topic.

“I bet Sasuke’s name would be Kayleigh.” Kiba said. Shikamaru and Naruto both gave him quizzical looks. “Look it up online, it’s an old school emo song. Chalk hearts melting on a wall and everything.”

Naruto snickered.

“Then I suppose Neji would be Amber?” Shikamaru said. “You know, the cutthroat bitch from that doctor show?” Kiba and Naruto laughed, nodding along.

“Also a whore. Probably a lesbian whore too, with like, Amanda the porn star.” Naruto snickered.

“Amanda who used to be porn star partners with Monica, until she broke up with her for Amber.” Shikamaru chipped in.

“Awww, poor Monica.” Naruto sighed.

“Don’t worry, Bobby picked her up and it’s all good.” Kiba placated.

“But what about Kayleigh and Anna? They’re all alone!” Naruto nearly wailed, making sure to keep quiet enough for the class to not hear.

“And doing stuff with each other.” Shikamaru supplied in answer.

“Where’s Cassi in all this?” Naruto said, fearing for the poor girl.

“She went emo.” Kiba said with a nearly malicious snicker.

“Why would she go emo?” Shikamaru questioned.

“Because Monica and Bobby convinced Kayleigh to join them in a threesome that Anna videotaped and sent to Amanda and Amber to enjoy while they had lesbian sex and Cassi was left all alone. In a corner.” Kiba spun off, pleased with himself for his quick witted story telling. The other two were laughing, a little too loudly.

“Would you like to share with the class, you three?” The teacher said, eyeing them critically. Kiba smirked, waving at the class as all eyes turned too him.

“We were just discussing how much we’d love it if Bobby were here.” He said. The teacher gave him a suspicious look.

“And who’s Bobby?”

“Bobby’s my lover, ma’am.” The class erupted into laughter. “I’ve been feeling really lonely lately and Shikamaru here was just offering to help me with my Bobby withdrawals after class.”

“Outside, right now Inuzuka!” The teacher said, flushing from the blunt reply of his student. “And don’t come back in until the bell rings!”