Falling Leaves

Disclaimer: I don’t own Pokemon… oops, wrong anime.

Author’s Note: Goddamn it, this took forever! The stupid chapter gave me big troubles! Dx Rawr! But my muse is totally back! Er, at least I hope. It might just be playing with me.

I don’t really like this chapter… at all.

Yes, I realize how cliché it is to describe Sasuke as the moon when Naruto is the sun, but it just worked out that way. XP The reference will be minimal and probably won’t come up in any other chapters.

Thanks to lindsey82 with the spelling error. All fixed now!

Oh, and I do not email people. Kay?

By the way, reviews make me happy. –hinthint-


~~~~

Like The Moon


A purple vase found a home on the windowsill; filled with pretty little yarrow flowers that stood for ‘good health’. Naruto had gone out searching for them specifically, scouring the garden until he could return triumphantly. It was all a part if his attempt to make Sasuke’s dreary room into something more comfortable.

After that night something had changed between them. At the time Naruto had been elated and relieved that his strange offer had not been rejected, and surprised that in the morning there had been no tension between them. There was a cosy, comfortable feeling between them, as if they content just to be near each other.

During the night of the fireflies (as Naruto called it), he had sat by Sasuke’s chair until the small hours of the morning. They spoke little to each other, though as he had stared through the window at the dark sky Naruto had wanted to say how much like the moon the other man was. Cold and distant, with a pale, beautiful light that could be so easily overlooked or covered by the clouds. But the time had never seemed right and so the words went unsaid.

A week after that night and Naruto sat on the corner of his bed, admiring the next offering to Sasuke’s room. It was a simple painting, showing a bright field of flowers stretching away to the horizon. It was no masterpiece but it had caught Naruto’s eyes and made him smile.

Although Naruto could not say Sasuke was getting better, which was as impossibility, his health was improved. He was eating more and putting on a little much needed weight, and seemed to be sleeping better. During the day he was more alert, and though he still never smiled, he seemed more relaxed. Perhaps the friendship that Naruto had offered was doing some good. He liked to think so. The way Sasuke turned around whenever Naruto entered the room, as if he had been waiting, always caused Naruto’s inside’s to do a flip of happiness.

~~~

Summer had begun in earnest now, each day hotter than the next. Sasuke would sleep during midday, escaping the heat. At sunset, when it began to cool down, Naruto would settle down in his position besides Sasuke’s chair and complain about how hot it was. He would talk for hours, only pausing occasionally to listen to the crickets or look over at his pale companion. Sasuke’s silences seemed endless but he would frequently reach out to run his fingers through golden hair or gently touch a firm shoulder, as if reassuring himself that Naruto was still there.
Naruto would pretend not to notice those small caresses and just continue talking, rambling on about his day (and even though that day mostly involved him sitting next to Sasuke he still managed to drag the subject out for thirty minutes until moving onto his life and interests). But he did indeed notice and would wait eagerly for one simple touch. He began to need them like a drowning man needed air. They reaffirmed the here and now; proving this was no passing dream as he occasionally began to suspect.

How did you tell someone you were addicted to them?

When that somebody seemed as far away as the moon it was extremely hard. But Naruto believed that he was closing that distance. As he hung the picture up on the wall near the bathroom door, he had to believe.

“How does it look?”

It took a long time before Sasuke said anything, his expression giving nothing away. He looked a little dark under the eyes. “Where did you get it?”

“The local market. I ducked out this morning before you woke up.” Naruto covered up a little twinge of nervous dread, fuelled by the possibility that Sasuke would hate the painting, with a sunny smile. He craved for Sasuke’s approval, a fact that almost scared him when he dared investigate the feeling. Somehow he had become irrevocably attached to this sick man.

“I… like it.”

Even though Sasuke spoke in a voice that seemed to hold no emotion whatsoever, Naruto could feel the sincerity within the words.

His grin grew wider. “Heh. Yeah, I thought it was really pretty, so I grabbed it. Nobody could be depressed while looking at it.”

~~


Sasuke wasn’t sure how he had captured the sun, but somehow he had accomplished the impossible. He didn’t bother trying to work it out anymore, he was just glad that he had that bright, eternal light by his side. Of course he knew it would not last forever. Naruto did not belong to him, because nobody could own the sun. Sasuke had merely managed to acquire it for a time. He was afraid, that one day he would wake up and find that this man who had so easily walked into his life would be gone. Every so often he had to reach out, just to make sure the other man was still there, solid and beautiful.

Sometimes, when he reverted back the person he used to be, he wondered how fractured his mind was becoming. Had his oncoming demise finally tipped him over the edge? Here he was, a grown man, growing increasingly attached to another man he was convinced was an incarnation of the sun. Was he truly so deluded? Sasuke told himself that he was acting ridiculous; that he should not allow such an attachment to grow between himself and another. But then Naruto would walk into the room, bringing with him the light, and Sasuke couldn’t be bothered in denying himself what he wanted. In fact, when Naruto was there, he could barely think at all.

“Have you eaten breakfast yet?”

Naruto’s voice broke into Sasuke’s thoughts. “No.” Today the thought of eating made him queasy. Even the idea of sitting across from the sun and sharing their meal together could not make him look forward to it.

Looking up, he found Naruto staring at him with an oddly, worried expression. “Do you feel alright Sasuke?”

The answer Sasuke gave came quickly to his lips and was a blatant lie. “I’m fine.” His head was pounding. There had been no respite since he had woken up. Though he was paler than usual, he tried not to let on that he was in any pain. This was something that he simply had to deal with, as he had many times before.

Naruto seemed unconvinced; his nurse’s sense was tingling. “… okay. I’m gonna go grab breakfast. Back in a sec.” With one last look he ducked out the door and soon returned with two bowls of porridge. Sasuke struggled through two bites and then refused to eat anymore, no matter how much Naruto whined and pleaded.

“You don’t feel well, do you?” Naruto was staring at him with bright, enquiring eyes.

“I’m fine.”

“Tell me.”

Sasuke took in an unsteady breath, turning his gaze away to the window. “I am fine.” The tone he used should have put an end to the conversation.

“You’re fine, eh?” Naruto sighed. “I’m going to get something. When I get back, you can tell me what the problem is.” With one last look at Sasuke, he hurried out of the room.

When Naruto returned, a packet of strong painkillers held in his pocket, Sasuke had just made it to the bathroom door. The sick man was leaning against the doorframe, his breath coming out in uneven gasps and his entire body trembling. One hand, bent into a claw shape, clutched as his head.

Naruto was at his side in an instant, an arm snaking around the other mans waist and helping to hold him upright.

“You should have told me how bad it was.” He berated Sasuke lightly, not capable of putting any sort of force behind his words. Naruto was too worried.

“Toilet.” Sasuke croaked out.

Naruto helped Sasuke into the bathroom and gently rubbed the pale man’s back as he vomited.

When he was finished, Sasuke leaned against Naruto’s chest. The sun rested his chin against the top of Sasuke’s head and carefully cradled the other man in his arms. They sat like that, on the cold bathroom floor, until Sasuke felt strong enough to speak.

“I need to sleep.”

“How about some painkillers first?”

“Not yet.” Sasuke gave a weak shake of his head. “It’s okay… Don’t worry. This happens… often. I’m used to it now.”

Naruto could feel Sasuke shivering. “It’s your head, right?” He asked as he stood up, bringing Sasuke along with him. The other man was so light that Naruto could easily carry him into the bedroom.

When Sasuke next spoke you could hear the pain in how the words caught in his throat. “Stay with me.” He breathed gently against Naruto’s neck, not caring how needy he might sound.

“Of course.” Naruto helped Sasuke into the bed, tucked the blankets up to his chin and then dragged a chair closer to the bed. As soon as he sat down a hand snuck out from under the blankets and clutched at his pants. He covered the pale hand with his own.

Leaning closer he gently ran a finger down on Sasuke’s cheek. The caress stopped the shivering for a moment. “Let me know if it gets any worse. I have some morphine I can give you.” He would have hurried off to get it already, but Sasuke was desperately holding him in place. As he stared down at the bed, words came unbidden to his lips. “You are like the moon.”

After hearing the soft, earnest words, Sasuke took some time before reacting. But when he did it was with a bark of laughter that quickly became a painful couching fit. Alarmed, Naruto moved forward to help Sasuke sit up, but was stopped by a hand against his chest. Sasuke spoke between coughs. “The moon… can only shine… because of the sun.” His dark eyes sparkled with an emotion that Naruto couldn’t place.

Naruto didn’t respond. With a small frown he tried to puzzle through the confusing words and watched Sasuke struggle through his own version of hell. Sasuke lay curled up in the bed, pale face grimacing with pain.

“Do you remember what you said?” Sasuke’s eyes had fluttered open and he was staring up at Naruto. There was a half smile on his beautiful face, but it was bitter. It was the way someone must smile while remarking on what a nice day it was, after coming home to find their house burgled and trashed. A bitter, ironic and terrible smile.

“You said you wanted me to look at you and not the tree. You don’t want me to look for the seasons. Remember?”

Naruto gave a hesitant ‘yes’.

“Well, even if I wanted to, I can’t do that anymore. I can’t see the tree. It’s just a grey blur.”

Naruto’s breath caught in his throat. That meant Sasuke’s eyesight was getting worse. Not knowing what to say, he squeezed Sasuke’s hand and hoped he could be of some comfort.

“Soon…” Naruto leant closer to hear the whispered words. “… I won’t be able to see you anymore either.”

It was as if Naruto’s heart was being gripped in a vice. He waited, but nothing else was said.

Eventually Sasuke drifted off to sleep with Naruto watching over him; a silent sentinel, his thoughts confused and frantic.