Complications

Tsunade was pretending to read a mission report when she heard a polite knock on her door.

“Hokage-sama, may we come in?”

Tsunade let out a weary sigh and dropped the report back on the pile she’d taken it from. She was fairly certain that she knew what Raidou and Genma had come to report. “Enter.”

The pair bowed respectfully before coming into the room. Genma gave Tsunade a small nod before he began his report. “You asked us to inform you as soon the Kazekage’s party arrived. They arrived a few moments ago and are currently chatting with Shikamaru and Lee at the gates.”

Despite her own unease with this little surprise visit a small smile quirked her lips. She highly doubted that ‘chatting’ was the appropriate term for an encounter between Shikamaru and Temari’s overprotective brothers. She shook off her mirth and switched her attention to the other messenger. “Any sign of the brat and Shizune?”

Raidou shook his head. “I saw team Gai leave myself. Shizune is going to have her work cut out for her trying to catch up with that bunch.”

Tsunade tapped her index finger thoughtfully on the desk. “Do you think they will be back before the day is out?”

Raidou scratched his head and exchanged a look with Genma. “I’m not sure. It depends on how long Shizune can maintain the insane speed she’s going to need to close the gap between her and Naruto. The longer it takes her to catch him the more it’s going to wear down her endurance. The return trip could take twice as long if she’s not careful.”

Genma nodded his agreement. “To be perfectly honest Hokage-sama I wouldn’t expect them to return before tomorrow.”

Tsunade barely restrained the chuckle that threatened to escape her lips. Apparently these two were not confident in the abilities of her attendant. It was understandable that the would be unsure of the qualifications of somehow they had never seen in action, but Shizune was a medical nin. She was smart enough to know when she was pushing herself too hard. If worst came to worse after she caught the brat she would send Naruto on ahead and make the trip at a more reasonable pace.

Tsunade decide it was time to have some fun with the pair before her. She let none of her emotions play on her face as she raised a questioning eyebrow. “Are you implying that I made a poor choice by sending my attendant and Kakashi?”

Genma and Raidou looked like they had swallowed something unpleasant. They exchanged a panicked look before they both rushed to assure Tusnade that was not what they had meant.

A knock on the door prevented Tsunade from torturing them further. She dismissed them with a wave of her hand but was unable to resist one last jab as they performed the seals to jutsu out of the room. “Boys? After Shizune returns with my little protégé remind me to schedule a little training session for you two with her. I’m sure you’ll find it enlightening.”

There wasn’t time for them to respond verbally but look in their eyes was enough for Tsunade. Hopefully her schedule would allow her to watch as Shizune taught the boys a lesson in underestimating your opponent. Medical nin knew how you were put together, so they knew the best way to take you apart.

She quickly regained her composure; she had a feeling she was going to need it for what lay ahead. “Enter.”

Temari was the first to enter. She gave a polite nod in the Hokage’s direction as Kankuro and Gaara filed in behind her. She was pleasantly surprised when both of her brothers imitated her action. Politeness was not a strong suit among the shinobi of Sunagakure.

Tsunade was surprised as well. Perhaps whatever was going on with the Sandbrat was bigger than she suspected. They all looked extremely uncomfortable and nervous. Well that was no way to start this meeting. She gave them a real smile and waved them closer. “Sit, sit. And since this isn’t a diplomatic visit relax. You didn’t leave your village and travel all this way just to exchange meaningless pleasantries with me.”

Gaara glanced briefly around the room as he took his seat. “Have you sent for Naruto? I do not feel comfortable starting this discussion without him present.”

Kankuro sent a sharp glance in his brother’s direction. “And what, pray tell, does Naruto have to do with this?”

Gaara calmly returned the direct stare. “I’m not exactly sure, which is why we are here.”

Tsunade took this opportunity to interrupt what was quickly becoming a starting contest. “Naruto is not here at the moment but we are expecting him back shortly. There was a little mix up in the communication room. It seems that until early this morning we did not have a copy of your personal seal in our records.”

Gaara studied Tsunade for silently. Didn’t inspect their mail in Konoha? That was just asking for trouble. A lot of damage could be done with what looked like a harmless message from a friend.

Tsunade could practically feel the disapproval rolling off of Gaara. She had to suppress a smirk as she answered his unasked question. “Yes, we do inspect all mail that enters our village for jutsus or other hidden traps. However, unless the person in question is of high rank or under suspicion we do not keep a record of their correspondence. Naruto and Shikamaru do not fall into either of these categories.”

It was Temari’s turn to raise an eyebrow at that statement. “Even with Naruto under, what was it he called it, ‘village arrest’? If the whole ‘Sasuke is still my best friend’ thing wasn’t enough to monitor his communication you’d think the fact that his is an Akatsuki target would tip the scales in the favor of paranoia.”

Tsunade sighed. “Naruto is monitored much more closely than I’d like, but not by me. There are still plenty of officials who do not trust him completely and they want don’t want Naruto sympathizers involved. Since I’m a member of the ‘Naruto saved my life and/or redeemed my soul’ fan club I’m not supposed to have any part of it.” Her eyes caught Gaara’s and she couldn’t help herself from teasing. “You definitely qualify to be in the club yourself, kid. Wanna join?”

Gaara ignored Tsunade’s attempt to get a rise out of him and tried to focus on what was important. Well, important to him anyway. “So how does any of this relate to the fact that Naruto is not here?”

Tsunade leaned back in her chair and studied her guest. “Has anyone told you that you have a one track mind?”

“On several occasions. Has anyone told you that you’re not very good at bluffing? Just tell where Naruto is and when I can expect him back so I can decide if it would be in my best interest to go and retrieve him myself.”

Tsunade picked up the mission briefing and slid the paper across her desk for her guests to study. “I sent him with Team Gai only this morning. He was to replace Lee since I needed that hyper overachiever for another mission that is scheduled to start within the next few days. I was not willing to risk a scheduling conflict that could in danger one or both missions.” She gave him a questioning stare before she asked. “How familiar are you with Gai and his team?”

Gaara gave her a blank stare in return.

Tusnade smacked her forehead. “Okay, stupid question. How about this? My best source says they left at 6:41 this morning. It is now…” Tsunade glanced at the clock on the wall. “…4:43pm. Do you think that you would have any chance of catching up to them before they start the mission? I assure you once the mission has started it will become increasingly difficult to extract Naruto without incident.”

Gaara quickly scanned the mission briefing. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking for but it wasn’t long before he found it. He felt a smile creeping across his face. “So that’s the real reason you sent Naruto. You just didn’t want Lee to know he was being replaced.”

Tsunade nodded. “That kid in overly sensitive about his abilities as a ninja. There was a lot of mission shuffling once this was dropped on my lap. There are two other people who were suited for this role but Naruto was the most likely to agree.”

Temari snatched the paper away from her brother and studied the document. She couldn’t stop herself from chuckling once she read Naruto’s part. She handed the paper to Kankuro and grinned at the Hokage. “Kakashi is going to kill you when he gets back.”

Tsunade shrugged. “He’s welcome to try. I’m more worried about Naruto once he realizes he won’t be getting the year’s supply of free ramen I promised him.”

Kankuro slowly returned the document to the Hokage. He was still trying to wrap his mind around this strange mission they had sent Naruto on when a stray thought popped into his head. “Are you going to pay Kakashi in ramen?”

Tsunade blinked a few times before a satisfied smirk spread across her lips. “I like the way you think kid, I really do. It might be worth it resulting battle for my life just to see the look on his face. I’ll have to think about it. In the meantime you guys should make yourself comfortable in your usual quarters and I’ll be sure to contact you as soon as Naruto arrives.”

The Sand Siblings nodded and made their way out of the office. Gaara hung back for a second in the doorway and glanced over his shoulder. “Tsunade-san, about the ramen you promised Naruto?”

Tsunade raised a questioning eyebrow. “Yes?”

Gaara turned his face away but clearly stated. “Give it to him anyway. I’ll pay for.”

Tsuande studied his back as he walked away. There was definitely something big going on here. She quickly stood up, stretched and made her own way out of her office. Perhaps it would be in her best interest to gather up her other protégé and they could discuss possible scenarios over a nice bottle or twelve of sake. Yes, that sounded like a fabulous plan.


Kakashi looked at Gai like he had lost his mind. Well, what was left of it anyway.

“Is there a problem my formidable partner?”

Kakashi glared at the spandex wearing moron and sent a probing glance at Tenten and Neji. “Let me get straight. Naruto was supposed to use his Orioke no jutsu to pretend to be an exotic dancer and he agreed to it?

Tenten squirmed a bit under his intense gaze. “Not at first. But once Tusnade-sama mentioned what he was going to be paid he just went along with it. He kind of thought of it as a big prank.”

Kakashi sighed deeply. “He would, that moron.” He quickly turned his gaze to Neji and asked. “And if Gai’s a customer and Naruto and presumable Tenten were supposed to be dancers what exactly is your role Neji-kun? You don’t look like the kind of person that this establishment would attract. You’re way to straight-laced.”

A small blush crept onto Neji cheeks and he quickly dropped his gaze. “I’m a dancer as well.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that one. “Oh? I suppose that’s why Naruto-kun replaced Lee-kun this mission in the first place. With his high morals and low tolerance for alcohol Lee-kun would have been an even less believable customer, and as for a dancer…” Kakashi suppressed a shudder. “I don’t think even the Orioke no jutsu would make that boy a convincing girl.”

Neji glared at the ground. He didn’t think he would make a very convincing girl either but he wasn’t one to argue with his Hokage. He felt his chin being tilted up and was surprised when he saw Kakashi closely studying his face. He fought the urge to smash the higher ranking shinobi in the face and sent a panicked glance at his team leader. Gai just gave him the thumbs up sign and a wink. Neji now had to suppress the urge to hurt them both. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt his face being released but then Kakashi opened his mouth to speak.

“Good, you won’t need to use Naruto’s technic at all. A little makeup and a little padding and no one will know the difference.”

Neji couldn’t hold it in anymore. He felt himself sliding into the stance for the Hakke Rokujuu Yonshou and proceed to unleash the fury of 64 strikes on his opponent. As his stood there panting over the fallen body of Kakashi when he felt a familiar presence behind him. He didn’t have time to start the Hakke Shou Kaiten before real Kakashi slid his arm around Neji’s waist from behind. He glared at the fallen ‘Kakashi’ as it turned into log. How long had his tormentor been a substitute? He tensed when he felt a warm breath on his ear. “Now, now Neji-kun. With an attitude like that how are you going to handle being adored on stage? You can’t go beating up every customer who finds you attractive now can you?”

Neji shifted in Kakashi’s arms trying to find a way to break his grip. He knew that his face had to be bright red at this point. “I was not planning to spend much time in the customer’s presence Kakashi-san. Tenten and I were to gather as much information as possible backstage as Naruto did our performances for us. He was working on modifying his Orioke no Jutsu so he would look the part.”

Kakashi took pity on his captive and released him. He studied the very embarrassed Neji and the glaring Tenten for a moment before turning to Gai. “That was an excellent plan when Naruto was part of the team. He had the chakra reserves to back up it up. Unfortunately, that won’t work now. I’ll have to spend all my chakra keeping up one Orioke no Jutsu. I won’t be able to modify it or do three consecutive performances. Looks like the kiddies are going to have to be more involved in this than we planned.”

Gai nodded solemnly. “I see. I suppose we are going to have to spend some of our travel time teaching them what they need to know.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that. “We? Gai, no offense but I get the feeling you’re going to need as much instruction as the kiddies on how to act. Have you ever been to a strip club in your life?”

Gai shook his head.

Kakashi rubbed his hand over his face. “So I’ve got my work cut out for me. Forget double, the Hokage’s paying me triple for this.”

He got out his precious collection of books and handed one to each of his students, Gai included, and kept his favorite for himself. “Study these carefully and then come to me with any question that you may have. I’m going to go practice this Orioke no Jutsu thing until I can do it in my sleep.” He threw a mischievous look over his shoulder as he walked away. “Which may be necessary. Keep that in mind kiddies.”

Neji was sure that the blush had covered his entire body at this point. He sent a glance at Tenten who wasn’t much better off. She caught his gaze and gave him a small smile of encouragement before glaring over her shoulder at the retreating Copy Nin. When she turned back around she leaned close to Neji and whispered. “Do you think we should tell him exactly what he’s being paid with?”

Neji felt his blush easing a bit as he remembered what the Hokage had promised Naruto. He felt himself relax for the first time since Kakashi had begun his examination and shrugged. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate the irony.”

A/N

I suppose I should apologize for the extreme delay in delivering this chapter. I was suffering from a bad case “Lazy Writer”. I had plenty of ideas, just no desire to work them into the story. Plus I had to spend sometime filling in the plot hole I dug in chapter three. I’m not sure if anyone else noticed. I was rereading my story when I discovered that I sent Naruto on a mission with team Gai but had Lee on guard duty with Shikamaru. Talk about duh. Thankfully it was an easy fix and set up a rather interesting side story for me to explore whenever I get bored with the main story. So all and all it work out very well for me.

Naruto will make his reappearance in the next chapter and we will finally get some Naruto and Gaara interaction. So look forward to that when I update. Whenever that may be. I’m not even going to claim it’s going to be anytime soon. But I do promise this. I’m determined to actually finish this story so don’t worry about that.

I’m going to have add crossdressing to the warnings next chapter I suppose. If you couldn’t tell that was not part of my original storyline.


And once again, thanks to all my reader and a special thanks to the reviewers

~Admiral ShadowWolf~
I’m sure most people know by now where I’m going with this. I’m just having fun being purposely vague. ^_^

~Sneakyfox~
Banter I can do. No matter where this story goes I can promise the banter will never be far behind. (Even if it takes a chapter or two to catch up.)

~kagomegirl~
Shh! It’s supposed to be a secret. ^_~

~riddlestar~
I’ve managed to attract quite a few people who don’t really like Mpreg. I’m not a big fan of it myself unless there is a plausible reason behind it. I’m hoping that mine fits these criteria. I tend to go for pairings that I enjoy that aren’t very popular so I thought I’d give Naruto and Gaara a shot.

~Vivianne~
Dude! I totally did! ^_~
I’m glad you’re enjoying my story so far and I hope that the latest chapter is up to your expectations.