Teach Me To Love You

Title: Teach Me To Love You
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakashixIruka
Rating: T for now, will go up
Summary: Kakashi had never been anything else than what had been expected of him. And nobody had ever expected him to be human. So how could Iruka even want to be near him? How could he say he loved him?
Spoilers: Spoilers for Kakashi Gaiden and very slight ones for the events before the time-skip.
Status: Chapter 4 of 15(?)
Disclaimer: I do not own the anime/manga Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I
do not make any money from the writing of this story.


AN:
And once again life decided that Nayru shouldn’t have time for her story…

Teach Me To Love You
by nayru-kleinefee


Chapter 4 – We won’t let them.

“Genma and some of the guys are going for some drinks tonight”, Iruka said. “He asked if we wanted to come along.”

“Genma knows that I’m with you?”, Kakashi asked warily. The senbon-chewing Special Jounin was the village’s loudest gossiper. If he knew, whole Konoha was about to know only hours later. Minutes rather, especially if Anko joined him.

“He just said that he had seen us together often in the last time.” Iruka shrugged. “I’ve been for drinks with him and some others rather regularly for quite some time, still am from time to time, and he said that you’re welcome to join now that we’re ‘so good friends’, as he put it.” He sniggered softly.

“Oh.” Kakashi nodded. “Okay.” He had never been ‘for drinks’ before but as long as Iruka was with him, it probably would be alright. Not that he would drink anything, he never drank, but he could spend time with Iruka and learn how to be more sociable. Not that he felt particularly eager to spend time with Genma or anybody else. He would have preferred to stay in Iruka’s apartment with Iruka in his arms.

“Would it… bother you if anybody found out?”, he heard the Chuunin ask softly. “We don’t have to go.”

“Find out about what?”

“About us.”

“I… I’m not sure.” Kakashi mulled that over. “It could put you in danger if any of my enemies knew that we’re…” Boyfriends? “That we’re…” Hopefully-soon-to-be lovers? “Together. But we can still go and just… just not tell anybody?”

“Ah.” Iruka nodded. “Alright.”

Uh-oh, Kakashi knew that tone. It meant that he had done something that Iruka found not-so-good but the Chuunin was too considerate to say anything about it. Kakashi disliked that tone, not as much as Iruka’s you-hurt-me tone, but also quite a lot.

Soo… He had said that he would prefer it if nobody knew about their relationship. He had meant to protect Iruka, and he knew that Iruka knew that. But there had to be something else… Maybe Iruka was angry and thought that he didn’t think him capable of protecting himself? But no, Iruka always showed clearly when he was angry. But he hid it when he was hurt.

“Would you like to tell Genma that we’re together?”, Kakashi tried.

“No.” Iruka smiled at him. “He’s too nosy anyway. Won’t hurt him not to know the newest news for once.”

“Then… would you like to tell somebody else?”

“No.”

“I… I wouldn’t really mind if somebody knew”, Kakashi made a last attempt. “I mean, as long as it’s one of your friends.” He would just have to force himself to trust them not to tell any of his enemies. Or threaten them.

“You wouldn’t?”, Iruka asked.

“No.” Kakashi shook his head. “If you want to tell somebody, that’s fine with me.” He would just trust and threaten them.

“And it wouldn’t… bother you if somebody knew that you’re with me?”

“Why should it?” Kakashi frowned. If anybody should be bothered, it should be Iruka being bothered to be seen with somebody like him, not the other way around.

“Yes, why should it?”, Iruka asked softly.

*****

Okay, going ‘for drinks’ wasn’t something he particularly liked, Kakashi decided. The bar was crowded, full of smoke, smells and noises, and he couldn’t even see who was in there because there wasn’t enough light. He had seldom felt so uncomfortable when inside Konoha. But he would endure this for Iruka.

“You don’t seem pleased”, the Chuunin’s voice rang into his ear from his right.

“It’s okay”, Kakashi lied.

“It’s not.” Iruka laughed. “You’re fidgeting on your seat, throwing glances everywhere and you haven’t drunk one sip. You’re uncomfortable as hell, I can see that.” He laughed again. “Not even that woman over there flirting with you is able to cheer you up.”

“She’s not flirting with me!”, Kakashi gasped. He had tried to ignore that rather weird woman for at least an hour by now and had so hoped that Iruka wouldn’t notice.

“She is. Oh, and how she is. I’m only waiting for her to strip.”

“You think she will do that?!” Kakashi didn’t think he could stand that. It was hard enough to look at the things she was doing with the straw of her drink and keep a straight face.

“I don’t know.” Iruka grinned. “I only know that I won’t let her take you home.”

“I don’t want that!”, Kakashi assured. “Iruka, please believe me that I don’t want her to take me anywhere!”

“I know, Kakashi, calm down. I was only teasing you.” The Chuunin smiled at him gently. “Would you like to leave? I can see that you’re not comfortable here.”

“It’s okay”, Kakashi repeated. “I don’t mind.” As long as Iruka was having fun.

“But I do.” Iruka squeezed his hand under the table they were seated at. “Just let me say goodbye to Anko over there, and then we can leave, alright?”

“We can stay if you want”, Kakashi offered. He would just ignore that woman and keep pretending that he wasn’t so much on edge that he was almost at the point to jump up, grab Iruka and jutsu them out of the bar.

“But I don’t want to stay.” Iruka smiled at him. “I would rather go home, take a long shower to get the smoke out of my hair and then curl up on the couch with you in my arms and a cup of tea or hot chocolate. How does that sound?”

“Perfect.” Kakashi smiled back. He liked hot chocolate, especially with marshmellows in it. He didn’t know why though, they were all slimy and squashy, but still… But they weren’t anywhere as good as apple pancakes. Maybe Iruka would make some of them, too?

“I’ll make it quick.” Iruka squeezed his hand once again before he stood up and tried to reach Anko sitting at the bar with Ibiki and Shizune.

“So, Hatake, how come?”

“Hm?” Kakashi turned around to face Genma. The Special Jounin’s face was slightly red and he was already swaying gently on his chair. How he planned to defend himself against an attack in his state was a miracle to the Copy-nin.

“How did you become friends with Iruka?”, Genma asked. “You two never seemed to like each other very much.”

“He made the first step”, Kakashi answered vaguely, mostly because, ‘He kidnapped me, put me in his bed and somehow I liked it there’, didn’t sound like the right thing to say just to the Special Jounin.

“Ah. Thought so.” Genma nodded. “Nice guy, that Iruka. Seems to like you.”

“I know.” Kakashi smiled softly, knowing that Genma wouldn’t notice it under his mask. Iruka, however, would have.

“Lucky guy”, Genma declared. “Iruka’s good to keep you sane.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s… real, you know.” Genma sighed. “You know, you go out on a mission and kill your share of five, ten, fifteen people, and then you come back to the village and are supposed to be… normal.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t handle that at first. Don’t know how often they had to drag me to the hospital and drug me until I had calmed down again.”

“Oh.” Kakashi had known that some Jounin and especially ANBU had those problems. He himself had never had them, the only advantage of not being human probably. He had simply never known anything else.

“Then I had a mission with Anko”, Genma continued. “Horrible. The mission, not her. I knew I would freak out again and asked her to knock me out and bring me to the hospital in case I shouldn’t make it on my own, but she just said that she knew something better. Someone better.”

“Iruka”, Kakashi guessed.

“Exactly.” Genma nodded. “She took me to the Academy and told me to wait with her. I didn’t feel so good then, I felt like I would explode any second. And then Iruka came out with his kids. He was still a teaching assistant at that time and I at first didn’t know what should be so special about him, you know, he was just there and taught those brats to throw shuriken or something.”

“He is special”, Kakashi contradicted softly. After all, Iruka was able to love him.

“I know. Now I know. But then I didn’t. Until Anko said, ‘He lost his parents to Kyuubi. He lost his team-mates on their first mission out of the village. He lost his sensei and his new team-mates on their second. But he never lost himself. He decided to teach the village’s children although he’ll lose many of them, too. And he knows that, Genma. He knows that and still he keeps hoping and keeps being human.’ And then she looked at me and whispered, ‘I want to be like him. And because I know that I can never be, not anymore, I want to make sure that he can hope for both of us.’” Genma smiled softly. “I still remember every word she said. They shook me from head to toe. And I changed back then. Because of Iruka. Many years I only came back and stayed sane to make sure that he could still hope. To help him hope.”

“Does he know?”, Kakashi asked softly, a strange, tight feeling in his chest.

“I don’t know.” Genma shook his head and wiped his eyes. “Maybe he does. But if, then he never showed.”

“Are you still coming back because of him?” Would he maybe have to make sure Genma didn’t try to take away his time with Iruka?

“No, at least not only because of him.” The Special Jounin smiled. “I found someone to come back to quite some time ago. But still Iruka will always be one of the reasons I keep going, I think.” He sighed. “I just wished I could find out who’s hurting him…”

“Somebody’s hurting him?!”, Kakashi gasped. “Who?” He would find them. And then he would… he would… he would make them suffer. Nobody was allowed to hurt Iruka!

“I don’t know.” Genma shook his head. “And I don’t even know if that guy knows he’s hurting him. At least I think it’s a guy.” He looked at Kakashi. “I probably shouldn’t get you involved, but you are the master of ‘underneath the underneath’, so maybe you can find out.”

“Find out what?”

“Iruka’s in love”, Genma said. “He’s been for years by now. And it’s unrequited. That’s why he’s hurting.”

“I… he…” Kakashi’s eyes widened. It was him! He was hurting Iruka. Had been for a long time!

“I want to find whoever it is”, Genma growled. “And then I want to tell him that he’s not allowed not to love Iruka. He has to love him back or I’ll kill him.”

“You… How do you know it’s a man?”, Kakashi choked out just to say something, anything, while he tried to remember how to breathe. He hadn’t really realised what he’d done to Iruka all those years before and now it almost suffocated him. He hadn’t known or wanted it, but still he had hurt Iruka, Iruka who should never, never ever get hurt.

“I don’t really know. Iruka had his last relationship with a man, so I just guessed… Could just as well be a woman, but I hope it’s a guy.” Genma smiled cruelly. “That way I don’t have to feel bad to beat him up at least.”

“And… and Iruka was hurting? Much?” No, Iruka shouldn’t hurt, never, never ever. He didn’t want him to hurt still.

“Yes. He pretends not to be but I can see enough. He’s hurting so very much, Kakashi. I can’t stand to see it anymore, I have to do something.”

“I… I will do something about it”, Kakashi whispered. “I promise.” And if he still hurt him… he didn’t know what he’d do then.

“That’s good.” Genma grinned. “You’re a good guy, Hatake. Iruka was right to choose you as his friend.”

“M-hm.” Kakashi nodded. And he would prove that Iruka was right to love him, too. He would make him happy no matter what.

“I’ll leave it to you to find out more then”, Genma declared and moved to get up. “Tell me when you find that bastard so we can beat him up together, alright?” He patted the Copy-nin’s shoulder and went towards the door of the bar where Raidou had just appeared.

Kakashi watched the two men shake hands first, then head for a booth near the wall. He just wanted to look for Iruka when he caught sight of something that made his eyes widen. Had Genma just… taken Raidou’s hand in his? But no, that had certainly been the smoke in the bar that had obscured his view. Why should Genma take-

Kakashi’s eyes widened even more when he definitely saw Genma squeeze Raidou’s butt just before the two men sat down, earning himself a hiss and a slap on his upper arm. But… what the snorg had that been?! Why… When… That… Why should Genma want to take Raidou’s hand and then slap his butt? And why hadn’t Raidou told him not to do it and why-

“Hey there.”

“What?” Kakashi jumped slightly and looked up, then almost flinched when he saw the blunt woman from before stand in front of him.

“I’m Kyoko.” She smiled at him.

“I… Hatake Kakashi.” Okay, he was being polite. Now she could leave again, bye.

“Is this seat taken?”

“No. I mean, yes!” Iruka, where was Iruka? That was Iruka’s seat.

“But your friend just left.” Kyoko laughed and sat down.

“He’ll come back”, Kakashi assured. It couldn’t take long just to go to the bar, say goodbye and then come back, alright? Come back to save him from that woman who maybe was there to strip?

“I haven’t seen you here before. Are you here for the first time?” Kyoko inched her chair closer to him.

“Yes.” Kakashi pondered inching backwards but instead took a deep breath and decided to slip into I’m-so-bored mode.

“And do you like it here?”

“Hrm.” He shrugged. But he didn’t like it, not at all. It was too loud, too crowded, too open. And Iruka wasn’t with him anymore.

“Oh.” Kyoko frowned but then smiled again. “Isn’t there anything you like in here?” And then she did that thing with the straw and her tongue again.

“Mrh.” Another shrug. He liked Iruka, and Iruka was somewhere in here. But he didn’t like what that woman did at all. It looked… It made him feel like some kind of… prey.

“I thought so.” Kyoko grinned and leaned forward, obviously mistaking his shrug for an invitation. “Then why don’t you take what you like in here outside and go somewhere quiet with… it?”

“Sounds good.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest, deciding that shrugging probably was too subtle. And he wanted nothing more than go somewhere quiet with what he liked. And he certainly didn’t want to be there anymore when she found out what it was that he wanted to take with him. And what it wasn’t.

“Yes, sounds good”, Kyoko purred and placed her hand on his knee.

Kakashi took a deep breath and suppressed the urge to jump away from the unwanted touch. Okay, he had to calm down. He could not just push her away and nail her hand to the nearest table with a kunai, he had to find another way out. She was only a civilian, no threat for him, and he also didn’t want Iruka to become angry with him for making a scene. He had to get rid of her without drawing too much attention and if possible also without Iruka noticing her at-

“Ready to leave?”, the Chuunin in question asked softly next to him, making him jump slightly.

“Iruka”, Kakashi breathed in deepest relief. Iruka was good, Iruka would know how to get out of this.

“I said goodbye to Anko, we can go now.” Iruka smiled at him. “Let’s just say hello to Raidou on our way out and-”

“I. Am. Sorry”, Kyoko interrupted him. “But I was talking with Kakashi.”

“Oh.” Iruka smiled at her. “You were talking with Kakashi?”

“Yes”, the woman hissed. “And I think you should better go.”

“Oh, you think so?” Iruka still smiled but now it was all teeth and threats. “Isn’t that interesting, Kakashi?”

“Yes?” Kakashi tried to become invisible. Iruka was creepy suddenly.

“Yes”, Kyoko declared, glaring. “Why don’t you go and look for somebody else to talk to and leave us alone?”

“Oh, I shall leave you alone?” Iruka leaned forward until his face was at the same level as hers. “And why, do tell, should I leave you alone with my boyfriend?”, he hissed.

“With… your…” Kyoko’s eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed until she gave a very impressive imitation of a goldfish.

“If I ever only see you look at him again, you’ll regret it”, Kakashi heard Iruka whisper into her ear. “If I ever see you glance in his direction, I-”

“God, that’s…” Kyoko made a face of utter disgust suddenly. “That’s gross. Don’t worry that I would ever look at your boyfriend again. Just… just get away from me, you… you fags.”

“I… you…” Kakashi saw Iruka’s face turn a deep shade of red before the Chuunin suddenly took his hand and dragged him to his feet and after him to the door. He only just had time to notice Genma stare at them with his mouth open and his senbon falling out before Iruka had left the bar with him and was pulling him after him through the empty, moonlit streets.

“How can she dare?”, the Chuunin murmured. “How can she dare? That cheap… How can she dare?”

“Iruka…”, Kakashi whispered. “Iruka, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you angry.” The Chuunin seemed to be angry because he’d talked to that woman, but he hadn’t wanted it, not at all, and-

Iruka stopped so abruptly that the Jounin bumped into him. “Kakashi”, he whispered and shook his head without turning around. “Oh, Kakashi.”

“I’m sorry”, Kakashi repeated softly.

“No.” Iruka shook his head again and turned around to face him. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But aren’t you angry at me?”

“Why should I be angry at you?”, Iruka whispered. “It’s just… natural, I guess.”

“Natural?”

“Yes. That you want a woman, I mean. It’s just the way things usually go, and like that you wouldn’t have to be afraid that anybody could be taken aback by you being with another man.” Iruka shook his head and the look in his eyes became utterly sad and pained. “I can understand if you prefer a woman over me, Kakashi. I’m sorry that I reacted like I did.” He turned around again and took a step away from the Jounin. “Just… just go back and… and go back… to her.”

“But I don’t want to go back to her”, Kakashi said softly. “Why do you think I would? She doesn’t-” He broke off and turned his head around when he felt a presence behind him but then turned back to Iruka when he only saw Genma stand a few steps away. The Special Jounin could wait because Iruka… Iruka seemed hurt and he didn’t like that and Iruka was important.

“Why?”, Iruka whispered. “Why, you ask?” He shook his head. “Don’t you understand, Kakashi? If you stay with me, if people find out about us… there’ll always be some who… some who won’t accept it. There’ll always be some people who’ll be… disgusted of the thought of two men being together. It would be easier for you if you found yourself a woman.”

“But why should they be disgusted?”, Kakashi asked softly. “I don’t understand that.” Did it matter? And if it did, then why? If Iruka loved him and he one day loved Iruka, why should people not accept it? And what did other people than Iruka and him have to say about it at all?

“Me neither.” Iruka laughed bitterly. “But there are many who don’t accept it, you would see. And I… I don’t want you to have to see it, Kakashi”, he whispered. “It will hurt you and I… I couldn’t stand that.”

“It’s hurting you”, Kakashi whispered. And seeing that made him hurt, too.

“Yes. Yes, it’s hurting me.” Iruka’s voice shook. “But it will hurt me even more if I see you hurt.”

“Then I won’t let them hurt me.” Kakashi took a step forward and carefully wrapped his arms around the Chuunin’s waist. “I won’t let them hurt me and I won’t let them hurt you. I won’t hurt you.” Never again.

“But they will-”

“I don’t care.” Kakashi gently tightened his embrace. “I don’t care about what anybody other than you thinks, Iruka.”

“Is… is that…” Iruka started to shake in his arms. “Do you mean it?”

“Yes, Iruka. I mean it.” Kakashi carefully turned him around in his arms, feeling his chest clench at the tears running over the Chuunin’s face.

“You… you could be with a woman instead. It would be… easier for you.”

“I don’t want to be with any woman.” Kakashi tenderly wiped away Iruka’s tears. “And I also don’t want to be with any other man.” He leaned down and placed his forehead against the Chuunin’s, very careful because Iruka seemed so very fragile suddenly. “I don’t want them because they don’t love me.”

“Oh, Kakashi.” Iruka’s face distorted in pain. “Kakashi, I’m so sorry”, he sobbed, shaking violently.

“No, please don’t cry”, Kakashi pleaded. “Please don’t cry, Iruka.” It hurt, deep inside him, and he didn’t know why.

“I w-was so af-fraid that it w-would hurt you. That- that- that you would l-l-leave me.”

“I won’t leave you, Iruka.” Kakashi stroked his hair tenderly, desperately trying to calm him down. “I promise, Iruka. I will stay with you and I will learn to love you.”

“P-please…”

“I will, Iruka. I will do my best to learn to love you soon.” Kakashi tightened his embrace and then just held him, held him close to him to give Iruka all the warmth and reassurance he could. And finally the sobs faded slowly and the shaking stopped.

“Love you”, Iruka whispered. “Love you, Kakashi. Sorry that I’m… I just… I didn’t want you to get hurt…”

“I want to love you, Iruka”, Kakashi whispered back. “And I won’t let anybody hurt you anymore.” He stroked a stray strand of hair behind the Chuunin’s ear, once again marveling about how much it calmed him down to do it.

“I won’t let them do that anymore either.” Iruka sniffled and nuzzled his face into the Jounin’s clothed neck. “I won’t let them.”

“No”, Kakashi murmured. “We won’t let them.” He looked up and turned his head to see whether Genma was still there. He didn’t want to deal with him just now. All he wanted now was to take Iruka home and hold him close until everything would be fine again.

To his deepest relief, the Special Jounin just smiled at him and placed his index fingers on his lips, indicating not to tell Iruka that he was there, before he turned around and left.

“I wanna go home now”, Iruka whispered. “Wanna have you all to myself. And I have you all to myself because you allow it. Because you don’t want anybody but me and I don’t want anybody but you.”

“Shall I jutsu us?”, Kakashi offered.

“M-hm.” Iruka nuzzled his face deeper in his neck. “And when you see Genma the next time, remind him that I might not be a kickass Special Jounin, but that I am still a shinobi, alright?”

“You knew?” Kakashi smiled.

Iruka snorted. “Thinks he’s oh-so-sneaky. What did he want?”

“Make sure you’re alright”, Kakashi guessed.

“I am.” Iruka tightened his embrace around his waist. “I am. And I promise that I won’t let something like this upset me anymore. And I will never again doubt you.”

***** ***** *****

“Kakashi-sensei, what a pleasure to meet you.”

Kakashi turned around and frowned at a brightly smiling Anko. “Yes?”, he tried carefully and took out his Icha Icha from his pocket to hide behind it.

“Can I have a few words with you?”, the kunoichi asked, still smiling. “I promise it won’t take much of your precious time.”

“Okay…” Kakashi slowly followed her along the hallway, past the door to the mission room where he’d wanted to pick up Iruka and towards the last door.

“Please step in here.” Anko held the door open for him.

Kakashi peeked around the frame to take sight of… a broom closet. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh, please”, a new voice behind him said. “Do us the favour and have a little chat with us.”

Kakashi turned around and saw now also Raidou and Genma stand behind him. “I really would prefer not to go in there”, he stated firmly and put his book away again, pondering to draw a weapon, just in case.

“Oh, of course.” Genma nodded. “We can understand that. But we can have a little talk out here, can’t we?”

“Whatever.” Kakashi eyed them suspiciously. Something about their behaviour was making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“I had the impression yesterday that you’re with Iruka now”, Genma started. “Is that true?”

“Yes.” Kakashi nodded and slouched against the wall in a way that left his hands right above his kunai holster.

“How wonderful.” Anko’s smile brightened even more, making it look even scarier. “Then there’s something you should know.”

“What is it?” Kakashi was pondering to run, he really was. Maybe he could run t- eherm, walk rather quickly to Iruka and ask the Chuunin for help against this. This had to be some weird ritual or something. Or the three shinobi were completely bonkers.

“If you make Iruka happy, we’ll be your new best friends”, Raidou declared, grinning broadly.

“And if you make Iruka sad, we’ll be your worst nightmares”, Genma added cheerily.

“Do you want to be our friend, Kakashi-kun?”, Anko asked.

No. No, Kakashi didn’t want that. Those three were crazy, completely crazy.

But he wanted to make Iruka happy, so maybe he would have to take them as his friends then? Maybe that was some kind of condition to making Iruka happy? If he wanted Iruka, then he had to take those three, too? Creepy… But still.

“I want to make Iruka happy”, he told them. “I want to love him.” Even if it meant to have creepy friends.

Some seconds passed in which the three shinobi standing around him didn’t move a muscle, just kept looking at him. Maybe Kakashi could escape now? Maybe if he was really fast and sneaky? He was good at being sneaky.

“Perfect, Hatake!”, Anko boasted suddenly and slapped him on his shoulder, making him flinch.

“Yes!”, Genma agreed. “That’s what I wanted to hear!”

“Good man!” Raidou nodded.

“Okay?” Kakashi tried to inch away. Creepy.

“Hey, you know what, Hatake?” Anko leaned towards him. “Iruka loves picnics.”

“Yes, and ramen”, Genma continued. “Beef ramen. And cherries.”

“Oh yeah, he loves cherries.” Raidou nodded. “And going to the hot springs. And going swimming. And sushi.”

“But not sashimi”, Anko declared. “And he’s not fond of too much wasabi on it. And he likes rice in every way.”

“And spring rolls.”

“And hot chocolate.”

“And ice cream.”

“And chocolate sauce.”

“And cherries.”

“I already said that.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, but he likes them very much.”

“Yeah, right. And strawberries, too.”

“And chicken soup.”

Kakashi tried to store all the information he received away while at the same time inching backwards. This was creepy. It was nice that they told him what Iruka liked, but it was still creepy.

“And walnut cookies.”

“And gummy bears.”

“And green apples.”

“And fried noodles.”

“And-”

A rather loud cough made the four shinobi freeze.

“Do I want to know what you’re doing here besieging my boyfriend?”, Iruka’s voice asked gently.

“Erm… nothing”, Anko assured.

“Just chatting a little”, Raidou specified.

“That’s right.” Genma nodded. “We’re just chatting with our friend Kakashi.”

“Ah.” Iruka let that syllable hang in the air. Somehow he even managed to make his voice sound as if it arched an eyebrow.

“Iruka…” Kakashi quickly went to the Chuunin’s side. He was not fleeing, no way. He was just… bringing some space between him and the others.

“Kakashi.” Iruka smiled at him gently. “My shift is over already. Would you like to grab something to eat?”

“That would be nice.” Kakashi nodded, then remembered. “Beef ramen?”

“Sounds good.” Iruka’s smile brightened. “How did you know that’s my favourite?”

“I… erm…” Kakashi felt himself blush a little under his mask.

Iruka laughed softly. “Let me guess. Three little birds chirped it to you.”

“Three creepy little birds…”, the Jounin murmured.

Iruka laughed out loud this time. “Let’s go, alright?”

*****

Kakashi would have liked to embrace Iruka, he really would. But walking and embracing at the same time weren’t possible. Poor him.

“Why do you sigh so heavily?” Iruka smiled at him.

“I would like to-” The Jounin frowned when he saw something. “What are they doing there?”

“Who?” Iruka looked into the direction he pointed and at a couple standing in front of a restaurant. “Those two?”

“M-hm.” Kakashi squinted with his eye. “With their hands.”

“Oh, they’re holding hands.” Iruka smiled softly.

“Why?” They didn’t have their hands free like this. And what in case they needed both hands for something suddenly?

“Because like that they can be close to each other. And they can feel each other.”

“And still walk around…” Kakashi frowned. It sounded nice, it really did. But still… He would only have one hand free then. But he would be able to feel Iruka’s warmth. And maybe… maybe it would be a little like embracing?

Still a little unsure whether it was a good idea, the Jounin tugged at his left fingerless glove until he could pull it off, then carefully reached out for Iruka’s right hand. Oh, and it felt warm to hold it. Nice.

“Are you sure?”, Iruka whispered but at the same time entwined their fingers. “We’re in public. I don’t mind at all, but do you really want everybody to see us holding hands?”

“I want to hold your hand”, Kakashi answered simply. He noticed that quite many people were staring at them, some in surprise, some in amusement and joy even, and some in less nice ways. But he found that he couldn’t care less. Iruka’s hand was warm in his and it felt as if it belonged there. And Iruka smiled.

*****

“Iruka, can I ask you something?”, Kakashi asked after he’d wolfed down his miso ramen. He knew he wouldn’t have had to since they’d gotten takeout and went to the Chuunin’s apartment and Iruka never tried to sneak a peek, but old habits were hard to break.

“M-hm?”, Iruka murmured between two slurps of noodles.

The Jounin looked down at his hands, thinking about what he’d learned about holding hands and what had happened the evening before. “Raidou and Genma… Are they… I mean…”

“They are.”

“Oh.” Kakashi frowned. “And they… love each other?”

“I’m absolutely sure about that.”

Kakashi’s frown deepened. “But… then it’s not alright.”

“What isn’t?” Iruka put down his chopsticks and slowly looked up at the Jounin.

“Genma. He… I heard… you know, that he…”

“Sleeps around with just every woman crossing his path”, Iruka finished for him.

“Yes.” Kakashi felt himself blush. Why was it so easy for Iruka to say something so horrible?

“And you think that’s not right?”

“It’s not!” Kakashi shook his head. “He shouldn’t do that! I mean, he’s with Raidou and then he shouldn’t… do that. It certainly hurts Raidou. And Genma shouldn’t do that. If Raidou loves him, then Genma should do anything he can to prevent him getting hurt.” Kakashi knew that he didn’t know much about love, but he was absolutely sure that preventing one’s partner from getting hurt was very important.

To his greatest surprise, Iruka smiled softly and reached out to tenderly stroke over his masked cheek. “I love you.”

“But… but why…”

“Kakashi, I told you that some people… dislike the thought of two men being together.” Iruka’s smile became sad. “Raidou is afraid of that happening to him and Genma.”

“But that’s no reason for Genma to… to sleep around.”

“It’s a reason for Genma to spread rumours about him being with women”, Iruka said softly.

“Rumours?” Kakashi frowned. “You mean they’re not true?”

“Kakashi.” Iruka took his hand. “Genma is spreading these rumours to give other people and especially Raidou’s family the impression that he and Raidou aren’t more than close friends.”

“That… but… oh.”

“Yes, oh.” Iruka sighed. “I know that Genma wants nothing more than to tell everybody how much he loves Raidou, how happy he is with him. But he doesn’t because Raidou is afraid that his family would be disgusted of him then.”

“But why?” Kakashi didn’t understand that.

“I don’t know.” Iruka smiled at him sadly. “And the worst thing about this is that I highly doubt that any of Raidou’s relatives would react badly to him and Genma being together. They’re all wonderful people.”

“But then Raidou should…”

“Take the risk that they could despise him still?” Iruka laughed bitterly. “I don’t know, maybe he should. I don’t know.”

“But… but that’s…” Kakashi sighed. “Humans are weird.”

“We are”, Iruka sighed. “We are.”

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

tbc

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Nayru