Save your Soul

Chapter 3- A Gift form the Gods


Darkness.

Blacker than pitch and dead silent, it was like a thick fog settling over the senses and slowing everything to a stop. So this was death. This was how it felt to die. It was to say the least, scary. In fact, it was terrifying and Kakuzu no knew that you could feel terror even in your dying breaths. The only thing that he could still picture clearly in his mind were those eyes. Those sweet, candy pink gems and they way they sparkled in even the barest light. That was how he wanted to remember them but the last he saw of them those eyes were troubled, aching. There was grief and anger, not to mention a sadness that sent beyond the realm of human understanding. In his last moments that gaze burned itself into his very essence. It had made his soul ache to see Hidan so lost. Such a proud and fierce man, reduced to a mere shell of who he was, lost and confused. And worst of all, he heard those words Hidan had cried as he felt the darkness devour him.

“Don’t Leave me…”

Hidan I’m sorry. You’re going to have to do this alone from now on…

How ironic that he went through all the trouble and pain of saving Hidan, only to die before saying anything. It was a cruel fate, but it was to be expected for someone like him. The gods had no reason to grant him mercy. He was a cold man, cruel even, by most standards, He deserved no leniency. But Hidan, he realized, was more than attached. He was in love. The poor man, the only time he went against his beliefs for someone and they were taken away. Kakuzu was certain Hidan would never let another living creature get near him after this. It would be a miracle, if this loss didn’t cause Hidan to throw Humanity away completely.

If Kakuzu could have smiled, it would have been ruefully. Hidan had him beat. There was no denying it anymore. If nothing else, it was love. The Gods were the only ones who knew how deep it ran but it was most certainly there. Sad, that it took him that long to admit it. It was not too late to say anything and Hidan would never get the answer to a question Kakuzu was sure he had been agonizing over for months.

Wait, I’m dying, or dead even. How is it that I am consciously thinking?

Thump.

His black sea of nothingness began to swirl slightly, growing gray and lightening as it changed.

Thump.

What was that? His normally sharp senses were still dull from the attack.

Thump. Thump.

Almost five minutes had passed since he first heard that noise and now he was beginning to see patches of green and brown, not solid objects but more like spots of color. He could hear the occasional sound of a raindrop against the ground and thunder still rumbling farther off in the distance. The smell of damp earth floated up to his nostrils as he drew in a deep breath. He was alive. How else could he draw breath, see smell and hear? Slowly the numbness was giving away to a burning in his chest and he could feel his lungs working to push out the now-stale air. His vision had began focusing by now and soon he was staring up at the forest canopy, the burning slowly turning into a dull ache in his stomach and head.

Thump…Thump…

It was his heart, now beating as strongly as if nothing had ever happened. A power began to trickle through him slowly at first. The dampness and cold had been transformed. He felt warm and comfortable, as if someone had just blanketed him. It was so familiar, so well known to him yet he could not place this strange sensation. Soon, it was surging through him like tidewater through a floodgate. The power felt strange to him. Stranger still, it began to heal him, rapidly closing up his open wounds and repairing his bodily damage in a matter of minutes. What could have healed him that fast? Even medical jutsu took hours to kick into effect. He shook his head, clearing the fogginess and sat up slowly, not wanting to make any sudden movements just in case he was imagining all of this and was still injured.

“Hidan?” He called out, his voice still raspy and cracked from hours of not speaking. He couldn’t see the Albino when he looked around the first time. Perhaps the man did follow instructions once in a while and ran like he was told to, and if that were true, it was a miracle no god could hope to best.

Hidan was always defiant, always rebellious and it cost him many a kill. Sometimes it took all the patience Kakuzu had, not to sew the brat’s mouth shut. He infuriated the man like no one else could and there were times Kakuzu was certain he as put on the earth strictly to drive him mad. Yet, Hidan still had endearing qualities that ensure Kakuzu would keep him around. Even his devotion to his faith was impressive. Yes, it bothered Kakuzu at times, but to see someone adhere so strictly to their beliefs was cause for recognition. Dedication was Hidan’s strongest point. Not just in religion, it transferred over to his life too. He may have been a rebel but when he got an idea or a thought you could be sure he would follow through. Especially his so-called ‘human shield’ trick. He had no problems throwing himself in front of Kakuzu at anytime to take a blow for him and never complained. He never whined about it or demanded repayment. He simply acted, and kept reacting everytime anything came close to hurting his beloved bounty-hunter. Again, an incredible show of dedication. Hidan, with all the good and bad, even with his immaturity and his sense of pride was quite possibly the most amazing creature on this planet, and Kakuzu was sure of it, even if he’d never admit it..

He noticed his hand was resting under Hidan's. He hadn't noticed that upon waking up. So he hadn't run away. Standing up slowly, with knees trembling, he looked around again, his vision coming back into sharp focus. He saw the corpses of the ninja they fought and the senbon that had struck both Hidan and himself. There was blood everywhere, and it was apparent that Hidan had done a great deal of damage to them. He turned around slowly to survey the damage behind where he fell and to get a better look at his partner.

Hidan lay sprawled on the ground, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth and a wound deep in his chest.

A blood cleansing now? Why would he do something like that?

Kakuzu hadn’t noticed him using his abilities in that fight, but then again, he didn’t see most of the fight. Still, he sensed the fight and there was no spike in Hidan’s chakra earlier to suggest he’d changed modes. And his wasn’t laying within his symbol. Kakuzu was certain it was a blood cleansing, until he bent down to check on him. Hidan’s skin was waxen and grayish, his lips a pale blue. He was still breathing, but there was a gaping, bloody hole about the size of a man’s fist in his chest. Beyond the wound, there was an empty cavity, his heart nowhere to be seen.

“What the hell…?” Kakuzu was confused. How could Hidan be missing his heart? It was an very strange thing to lose or have stolen.

Thump. Thump.

Kakuzu froze. That warmth. That familiar feeling. Kakuzu raised a hand to his own chest. Hidan had…

This heart, the one that had healed his wounds and brought him back from he brink of death. The heart that was giving him the strength to stand was Hidan’s. Hidan had given up his very heart to save his life. The force of such a revelation winded him and he trembled, his knees shaking. If that wasn’t devotion, it didn’t exist in the world. Again Hidan openly showed his colours. Kakuzu’s strength faltered, his indifferent façade shattering as he sank to the ground beside the broken Jashinite. His bottom lip quivered just once. His chest felt tight and constricted. His breaths were short. He could feel in his stomach that empty, sick feeling, a feeling he hadn’t experienced in a very long time. A sudden stinging in his eyes just intensified everything he was feeling, whipping everything inside up into an emotional whirlpool. He blinked briefly to relieve the stinging, though it did him no good. It was a constant twinge, and knew what was coming, yet even in a situation like this he tried to force it down. A watery glistening appeared in his deep eyes, eyes that hadn’t cried for anyone in over a century. There was no longer a point in trying to play things this way. Hidan had made a sacrifice that transcended all bonds of devotion and trust and he did for no other reason than simple and pure love. With a deep breath, Kakuzu hung his head, his still-damp hair obscuring his face and eyes, nothing but the little shimmering tracks and heavy breaths to suggest anything was amiss.

Inside, Kakuzu was broken up. The emotional force of Hidan’s sacrifice made him rethink their whole relationship in a matter of seconds. He had for so long just taken Hidan’s companionship as a granted thing and never once rethought it. He never wondered what the man felt nor asked. For Kakuzu it was better that way. Emotions were a danger, that much was true, but still, he knew he could have been a little more open about them. Hidan had done all of this without ever knowing how Kakuzu really felt.

Scooping Hidan up into his arms, he cradled him gently, holding him close as one would a lover or a child. Standing up slowly, he watched Hidan’s pained expression for a moment, before whispering.

“You’ve done enough Hidan. Rest now, little one. I’ll handle the rest.” He rested one cheek on Hidan’s white hair. “I will repay you Hidan. You have proven to be the better man once again in this situation. Let me take care of you this time.”

Hidan merely whimpered in reply, his body too weak to even allow him consciousness. The sight of him this weak was horrible. Even dismembered, Hidan was much more energetic. He was so frail and so weak Kakuzu wondered if he’d ever recover. Now, more than ever he needed to get them home. More than that, he needed to find a new heart. The thought of keeping Hidan’s immortal heart had never crossed his mind, like it might have anyone else. Bounty hunter or not he did have a moral line he did draw. And this was the line. As useful as it was to have a heart that would not die, to Kakuzu, the heart belonged to Hidan, and not just physically. All of the emotional attachment tied to the spiritual sense of the heart. Despite his seemingly violent religion, he still held and innocence and purity, that Kakuzu never had and never would come close to obtaining. Kakuzu’s hands were bloody before Hidan drew his first breaths of life as an infant. The difference between them came down to the reason they killed. Kakuzu, for money, Hidan for something he believed in completely. And just maybe that was the reason Kakuzu remained by Hidan’s side. He’d never know what truly drew him to the Jashinite, but he knew that after a sacrifice like the one Hidan made would ensure he could never desert him.

Once Hidan awoke and things were settled, they would have to talk about it all. It was something Kakuzu dreaded. Conversation wasn’t his strong point, but it was necessary. And if it meant everything would be settled and Hidan would be happy then that’s what he had to do. Hidan at least deserved that.

Keeping Hidan tightly against him, he sprinted off towards the border, determined to reach rain country and right everything that had gone so terribly wrong, because until they were both physically healed there was no point in trying to sort out the emotional aspects of it. Hidan’s heart had given him a boost of energy and it was much appreciated now as he had the job of carrying Hidan and running at the fastest speed he could muster while keeping his senses sharpened for any sign of danger. This time there would be no fighting. He would be running from any confrontations until Hidan was safe inside the Rain borders. It would be at least a day’s travel, and though Kakuzu was tired, He didn’t want to stop until he was out of Fire country. That damn place almost got him killed twice. That was fine, but the fact that Shikamaru had buried Hidan like that was unforgivable. Oh he’d get them back for that. And as soon as he was well enough, he’d be planning out just how to do it. The only thing he was certain of was the fact that it was going to be very painful for the receiving party.