The Art of Comedy Combat

Clowning Around

Written By: PrinceofPervs

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

Hope you like the quick update! The fight between Neji and Hinata! Enjoy!


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The entire room went into silence yet again.

...Did they just hear the female Hyuuga right?

Did she just call her cousin, one of the most powerful Ninja of the new generation...

A GIRLY-MAN?

"Oh, no she didn't!" Naruto laughed as he saw the look on Neji's face.

"Oh, yes she did!" Sakura laughed with him.

"Neji was the top student of the last year. And even though Hinata was the top Kunoichi of the last year, her skills are NOTHING compared to her cousin's! Does she have a death wish or something?" Shikamaru said.

"That's the only way I'd be able to explain what she's doing!" Ino said, shaking her head.

Neji was shaking with barely controlled anger. A girly-man? A GIRLY-MAN?! Who did this little so-and-so think she was talking to? She had no IDEA what she was getting herself into. The elder Hyuuga just wanted to rush over their and shut down her heart with a well aimed palm strike...but he didn't. He had to keep control of his emotions (or lack thereof) and remain calm.

"Humph. You know that you are no match for me, so you decide to resort to name calling. That just proves how pathetic you are, dear cousin..." Neji said in a smug tone.

"No. I'm just calling you a girly-man because of your hair," Hinata explained. "I mean, really. It's much more shiny and wavyer than my own. What, did you have to use 6 TONS of hair-gel to get it that way?"

Neji's eyes widened, and he began to stutter a bit. "N-No, I didn't use 6 tons of Hair-gel to get it like this! I only used 2 bottles!"

Hinata looked at him with a bored stare. "That's not much better, Neji-nii."

Neji growled as everyone began to laugh at him. This little...she was trying to goad him into making a fool of himself in front of everyone! She would pay...BIG TIME!

"Okay, if that's enough, then let's get on with the match," Hayate said. "BEGIN!"

Without any warning, Neji activated his Byakugan, and charged after Hinata with considerable speed. He thrust his palm forward, and Hinata dodged it in time. She tried to counter attack, but Neji ducked her strike, and aimed a two finger jab to her stomach, which she dodged as well.

Soon enough, the fight began to turn into more of a dance...a deadly dance. The chakra of the two fighters was flashing each time they made a near hit.

Naruto and Sakura (as well as the rest of the onlookers) looked upon this match in wonder.

"Wow...this match is exciting to watch, isn't it, Naruto?" Sakura said, keeping a close eye on Hinata's movements.

"...I'll say. But I think that Hinata-chan is getting bored by this little game," Naruto said, pointing out Hinata's face to Sakura.

She looked like she was...pouting. Like this match wasn't going the way she wanted it to be.

"...You know, I've been meaning to ask you about what you gave to Hinata, Naruto. So, are you gonna spill, or do I have to BEAT it out of you?" Sakura said.

"Calm down, Sakura-chan. The potion I gave her is supposed to help her get her inner-pixie out into the open," Naruto explained.

"...Inner-Pixie? What the hell are you talking about?" Sakura said, making a face.

"What I mean is that for one to really begin to learn the Comedy Combat style, one must unlock his/her Inner Imp/Inner Pixie in order to really feel the pleasure of the attacks. As you must know, Pixies and Imps were the most mischievous creatures in mythology, correct?" Naruto said.

"Yes...but what does that have to do with anything?" Sakura asked.

"Well, not many people know it, but they have a deep inner-self that would LOVE to pull pranks and just have people laughing at them. For boys, it's their Inner Imp, and for girls, their Inner Pixie. Only when you can get into touch with them, can you begin to learn the art of Comedy Combat," Naruto said, nodding his head.

"Oh, I get it! So that potion you gave to Hinata was..." Sakura said.

"Right. It was a potion designed to help someone awaken their inner creature," Naruto said. "I was gonna give it to Sasuke, just to see how messed up he'd become, but I think I made a better choice giving it to Hinata-chan. Besides, it'll only take me two more months to make another one."

But before Sakura could respond, the duo heard a loud moan come from the arena where Neji and Hinata were.

...But the strange thing was...it wasn't a moan of pain.

...It was a moan not unlike the ones that Hinata was giving a few minutes earlier.

A moan of pleasure.

And HINATA wasn't the one moaning.

The two looked at each other, and both turned towards the arena.

Neji was down to one of his knees, breathing hard like he was out of breath, even though he didn't have any signs of injury on himself. Hinata was standing a few feet away from him, beaming while giggling.

But the strange thing...was that Neji had a tiny blush on his face as he stared wide eyed at Hinata.

"What'd we miss?" Naruto said, turning towards his teacher.

Kakashi shrugged. "I have no idea. Hinata finally managed to hit Neji, but when she did, Neji let out that moan you heard, and fell to his knee."

"I wonder what Hinata did to get that reaction out of him..." Kurenai said, paying close attention to the fight.

Down in the arena, Neji was still staring at his cousin in shock. What the HELL did she do to get that kind of reaction out of himself? ...And why did it feel so damn GOOD?

Hinata giggled at the look on her cousin's flushed face. "Hee hee, how do you like it, Neji-nii? I thought that might work! By the way, you kind of moaned like a girly sounding man to me."

"What...what the heck did you...do to me?" Neji breathed, getting back to his feet slowly.

Hinata stopped giggling for a bit so she could answer. "You know, there's much more uses for the Byakugan than just shutting down the foe's chakra points/gates you know. You can use it to spy, you can use it to see how much chakra they have left..."

And she began to giggle again. "Or you can use it like I did, and find people's PLEASURE SPOTS..."

"P...Pleasure spots?!" Neji gasped.

"Yes, Neji-nii. Pleasure spots. The areas on the human body that can drive a person WILD with pleasure. It's a simple fact for eyes like the Byakugan to find them. All I have to do it touch them, insert a little life-giving chakra, and BOOM! Instant near-orgasm," Hinata said. "I can give them SO MUCH pleasure, that they'll be knocked out before they know it! Neat, huh? I call it...the Ecstasy Fist! ...Of course, the...advanced moves from my new fighting style will be for Naruto-kun's eyes...and body...only..." She let out a lust filled sigh at the thought of using this on her lover.

"Did I just hear her right? Ecstasy Fist?" Ino said, confused beyond all belief.

"I...I think that's what she said..." Shikamaru replied.

"Dude...if THAT'S her fighting style, then I wanna fight her next!" Kankuro said, looking excited at the thought of such a thing.

"Hmm...didn't know that Hinata's inner-pixie would be like THIS..." Naruto said.

"Naruto...I think we better hide you before this match is over...unless you were SERIOUS about sexing Hinata up..." Sakura said.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan. It's all under control..." Naruto said with a grin.

Neji, once the effects of the attack were off of him, growled and charged Hinata again. But his knees felt like jelly from the first hit of pleasure, so hit stumbled a bit, making it easy for Hinata to hit him with two jabs to the side.

The Hyuuga prodigy let out a loud moan of plaesure as the feeling went throughout his body. He couldn't believe that this much feeling could come from simply being touched! His pants also began to feel a little tighter. Neji nearly passed out from the overwhelming pleasure, barely stopping himself from falling to his knees again.

"I can't believe it...Hinata just might win this!" Kurenai said with a tiny smile on her face.

Hinata saw that her cousin was weak with the ecstasy she was giving him, and decided to go for the money shot. She rushed towards him, aiming to hit his chest, and send the pleasure streaming from there to the entire body. He would be out in no time.

Sadly, Neji was able to get his footing in time, and began to spin around in a fast circle as chakra appeared around him like a shield. "Katien!"

Hinata couldn't stop in time, and crashed into the shield, which pushed her back onto the ground.

"What on earth was that?!" Naruto shouted, stunned by the technique.

"That's the secret weapon of the Hyuuga clan. The Katien takes their chakra, and turns it into a high powered shield while they spin around. It can't be broken, and any one who runs into it will be pushed back with great force," Kurenai said, looking worried. "But the scary part about this attack is the next attack that comes after it..."

Hinata quickly got back to her feet, but she nearly froze as she saw the muderous look in her cousin's eyes as he took a stance.

"It's all over. You are within my field of Hakke..." Neji growled.

"Look out, Hinata!" Kurenai shouted. But it was too late.

"Hakke Rokujuu Yonshu (Divination Field, 64 Palms)!" Neji shouted out, as he moved at a blinding speed. He hit Hinata with both his fists, two fingers outstreched.

"Two Palms!"

He hit her again, faster this time.

"Four Palms!"

Even faster...

"Eight Palms!"

Naruto watched in horror as Neji hit Hinata so quickly that his hand vanished into a blur...

"Sixteen Palms!"

Hinata had a look of angony on her face as she was hit with the barrage...

"Thirty-Two Palms!"

Finally, Neji struck out with one final hit, knocking away Hinata from him as she hit the ground.

"Sixty-Four Palms!"

Neji glared upon his cousin after she fell to the floor. She wasn't moving...

"Humph. That'll teach her to not mess with me like that," Neji scoffed, turning to leave. "Proctor, this match is over."

But before he could take even two steps, he felt a blast of chakra come from Hinata, as she slowly made her way to her feet. Only this time, she wasn't giggling. Hell, she wasn't even smiling. She was glaring at Neji like a demon.

"What?! Impossible! I closed off all of your chakra points! You shouldn't even be standing right now!" Neji said, shocked.

Hinata didn't say anything. She just continued to glare at Neji.

"Naruto...was there arything ELSE that the potion was supposed to do to Hinata...?" Sakura said, turning towards Naruto with a blank look on her face.

"...Maybe...JUST MAYBE...it gave her a huge boost in her Chakra too...?" Naruto said with an innocent face. 'This is what I get for using some of the fuzz ball's chakra in my potion...'

"Neji-nii...Knock, Knock," Hinata said in a silent tone that promised PAIN for Neji.

Neji didn't say anything for a bit, still shocked beyond all reason.

"...I SAID. Knock. KNOCK." Hinata growled.

Neji, quite scared for his life now, answered back, "...Who...who's there...?"

And before anyone knew what happened, Hinata quickly appeared right infront of Neji face, and her leg rose high into the air...

And she KICKED Neji square in the Family Jewels.

"My FOOT!" Hinata snarled.

Neji didn't say anything. He just fell to the floor with his eyes and mouth wide open, a little squeak coming out of his lips. He wouldn't be moving for quite sometime.

Kankuro couldn't hold in his laughter after that, even though he felt a bit of sympthy for the Hyuuga. "DAMN! Right in the balls!"

The rest of the men, including Naruto, winced as the hit was dilvered, and covered their own packages as well. Poor Neji..."

Hayate (who was doing the same), said, "...The winner of this match...is Hyuuga Hinata." And he procedded to get as FAR away from Hinata as possible, who had went back to her giggling face as soon as she was declared the winner.

"Victory!" Hinata said, raising her hand in the peace sign like Naruto, complete with Naruto's fox-like grin.


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Poor Neji...he'll be out for quite some time...anyway, I hope you liked it. Catch you next continue!