Life Before Life After

A/N: Here it is! A little silly and a little sad, but it gets us where we're going, right? Inspired by Cake's 'Friend is a four letter word', 'Satan is my motor' and 'Take it all away'. Cake rocks. heheheheh.

I read and adore every youthful comment! They make me feel super-motivated and inspire with the burning fire of inspiration!So, uh...thanks to everyone who commented last time ;) This chapter is officially your fault.

CHAPTER FOUR

Ino came in during the night shift while Sasuke was still stuck pouring over personnel reports, individual squad performance, and the general rate of efficacy they displayed in their work. The outcome was a little depressing, and Ino was at the least a welcome distraction. She limped in, slightly scratched and tear-stained with her usually brief clothing ripped in some very compromising places.

The officer closest gave her one look and then rolled his eyes, pulling one of the few women officers with him to meet the girl. Sasuke very discretely opened his office window, watching as Ken kept away from the scene as the perfect picture of the totally oblivious new guy.

“I-” Ino choked a sob, “I want to report a rape.”

The woman pulled out the requisite pen and paper, but the man pushed her hand down.

“Aren’t you shinobi?” He asked, reaching up to touch her headband despite Ino’s obvious flinch.

“Yes,” Ino continued to cry, tears dripping down her chin. “But so was he, in fact-”

“Then shouldn’t you be able to protect yourself?” He put his hands on his hips and scowled, “And look what you’re wearing, if anyone’s asking for it, it’s-”

“But he was stronger.” Ino cried, hugging herself and shaking her long blonde hair. “I couldn’t, I just-”

“Was this a friend?” The female asked quietly, “Sometimes with people close to you-”

Ino bowed her head in shame, nodding mutely.

“Just what I thought, buyer’s remorse.” The officer sneered, “A little rough sex isn’t going to convince us, honey, so get out of her so we can deal with real-”

Sasuke leaned forward and opened his office window until it slammed against the edge, watching with satisfaction as Ino continued to withhold her anger. The three of them turned, the officers in wide-eyed surprise. Neither of them looked even remotely guilty.

“I’ll deal with this.” Sasuke murmured softly. “Please send the kunoichi in.”

Then he closed the window. He didn’t need sound to hear the sneer in the man’s voice, nor the acceptance in the woman’s shrug. Ino shuffled to the door without a backward glance and entered with her face turning into a mask of terrible rage.

“Please suppress your killing intent, Ino-san.” Sasuke asked, pulling down blinds, “We wouldn’t want the incompetents to rush in with weapons.”

“I’m going to cut that man’s balls off,” she said, fixing her clothing, “Tell me you’re going to fire that son of a bitch.”

“Of course.” Sasuke nodded and sat back at his desk. “And the woman?”

“Bitch.” Ino hissed, but she calmed herself when Sasuke handed her the female’s file. She perused the jacket for a few moments, before handing it back. “But she’s a competent bitch. Some backbone and some re-training and she might be useable.”

Sasuke made the appropriate notes as Ino tried to pull the tangles out her hair.

“That bastard wouldn’t know rough sex if it hit him with a whip.” Ino muttered through one particular knot. “I bet his wife’s completely frigid.”

“Well, it’s not in his file,” Sasuke replied awkwardly, “So I really wouldn’t know.”

Ino looked up at him and giggled, her blue eyes flashing.

“I talked about this with Ibiki, you know. He’s completely surprised at your practical deviousness. Wishes he thought of it first, actually.”

“It was Nar- Uzumaki-sensei’s idea.” Sasuke replied, shrugging off the praise. “Be sure to let Ibiki-san know. Is Hanabi in on the next stage with Shikamaru?”

“Yes,” Ino tossed the male officer’s file into the trash.

“Ten-ten’s dad is ready with Naruto, too.” She laughed, “And isn’t that going to be fun.”

“And Gai-san?”

“Hai.”

“Konohamaru and Kiba?”

“Hai.”

“What about Neji?”

“That took some convincing, asshole.” Ino scowled. “You want the prodigy Hyuuga to come in saying he’s been abused by a main house member? You owe me.”

“Hinata-sama agreed. I called in some old favors.” Sasuke put his head down to his work, scheduling down all of the various playacting that was sure to throw the station into a frenzy, but at least they’d know who to rely on, and that was crucial. After all the experiments in protocol and general attitude towards authority there would probably be a mass firing, but Tsunade was ready at standby with administrative Genin, Chunin, Jounin, and even ANBU who were happy to fill in temporarily for the program, and possibly even apply for entry under new management.

When he had gone to her, plan in hand and requesting aide…it was the first time the Hokage had ever looked at Sasuke without a sneer of utter distaste. It made him wish he’d thought of the idea first, but Naruto was always more tricky when it came to these sorts of things. He saw it simply as the biggest prank ever. Ken had grinned and agreed.

“Well done, Ino.” Sasuke glanced up at her with an acknowledging smile and was for once pleased to see her blush and twitter.

“Please reconsider joining the force.” Sasuke continued, with the smallest of smiles. “Your skills would be invaluable for the interrogation unit, and you would have plenty of time to train, or assist Ibiki-san. If you applied yourself you would be a detective in no time at all.”

She blushed so hard Sasuke was briefly afraid she’d catch fire, but then she nodded, composing herself to her original, pissed off state.

“After you fire that dick, we’ll talk Uchiha.” She stood. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life herding civilians and idiot shinobi. And the uniform sucks. I’m not wearing any crappy uniform.”

“Understood.” Sasuke returned to his paperwork and tried not to wince, because she was spot-on with that assessment, and unfortunately he *would* spend the rest of his life herding civilians and idiot shinobi in a crappy uniform and unlike Ken, Sasuke really wasn’t looking forward to it.

The door closed quietly and Sasuke was left with his scrolls, endless scrolls of figures and reports, and just prayed that some day soon the damn operation would just fucking operate.

****

Over the next few weeks the station was really the place to be entertainment-wise, and Sasuke had the perfect seat in his little center office, listening and watching through the glass as his former comrades turned unsuspecting lives completely upside down. So far he had three promotions in the works, three fair officers, and four eventual firings, and neither Naruto nor Neji had even come in.

For reasons unknown Neji insisted on going last.

But there was Naruto, being dragged by his arm in jerks up the stairs and through the door, covered in enormous purple bruises, mostly on his forearms; obvious defensive wounds. He looked like shit, panicked, and worse than Sasuke had seen in a long time.

“Can I help you sir?” The officer on duty approached, one of the older men, a dinosaur who had survived the Kyuubi attack and recognized Naruto with a not-so discrete glare. Naruto was trying to pull himself away, but compared to Ten Ten’s father’s immense bulk and strength he was nearly weightless. It took almost no effort for the iron-forger to keep Naruto’s slim body in tow.

“You don’t even have to tell me.” He said, his voice ice cold. “Stealing?”

“Why would I steal? I’m a chuunin for Kami’s sake-it’s his daughter, I’m dating his daughter and-”

“Shut up.” Ten Ten’s father hissed, bringing his open hand in a slap against Naruto’s face. Naruto glared but stayed quiet after the heavy blow, looking at the officer as if he already knew what was going to happen.

“We’ll get the truth out of him, Sir.” The officer nodded, gesturing to a few of the others who stepped forward to take Naruto, kicking and screaming and begging to be let go.

It took every ounce of willpower that Sasuke had not to stalk out of his office and put his hand through the offenders’ chests. Instead he stood and walked out of his little room to follow Naruto’s voice down the dark hallway to the old, nearly un-used cells that languished under the building proper.

“I didn’t do anything,” Naruto whimpered and Sasuke felt chills, “Please, just let me go home and I promise to never even look at Ten Ten aga-”

This time the contact was more than a slap. Sasuke clearly identified the sound of a body being punched into pavement as someone hissed, “Monster.”

“How dare you corrupt an innocent girl,” Another voice continued, dripping with hate, another wet thud and a crack as something in Naruto broke. Sasuke stepped up his pace, forgetting subtlety as he raced to the cells. He got there just in time to see a third man grab Naruto’s slack body by the chuunin vest and sling it over a bench.

“You grew up into a pretty little thing, demon.” The man laughed, his hands going to his belt, “I think it’s time we finally taught you a real lesson.”

The last thing Sasuke knew was Naruto’s concussed, frightened stare, the awful splatter of blood, and an overwhelming surge of absolute, unadulterated fury.

****

Predictably Sasuke woke up in the hospital; unpredictably there were a lot of people already there. They hovered in small groups, talking in whispers, most of the Konoha Dozen as they’d been dubbed, and Naruto flopped over the end of his bed, snoring slightly but just as pristine as ever. Unwounded, yes, but scarred?

Sasuke decided that he and Naruto needed to have a long, long talk.

“Ngh.” Sasuke managed, moving his foot just enough to kick Naruto in the head. Naruto flinched violently at the contact and snorted, smacking himself on the bedside railing before grinning widely.

“Look who’s up.” Naruto’s voice was still groggy with sleep, drool and deep red lines marking the side of his face. The low hum of conversation ceased as the rest of the room shifted forward to circle the bed, a range of emotions encompassing Sasuke in their round of stares.

Sasuke tilted his head to take them all in before croaking, “I’ve had nightmares that start like this.”

In a round of rolled eyes most of them took the hint and backed away, giving him a little room to breathe. Naruto blatantly ignored the statement, smiling broadly with an affectionate, “Asshole.”

All Sasuke could think was that Naruto looked damn good for someone who had been about two minutes from getting raped.

“Did I kill them?” Sasuke asked, his voice rasping painfully against his throat. The nervous fidgeting in the room spiked up a notch and Sasuke’s heart plummeted.

“I did, didn’t I?” He whispered, “I killed-”

“Shh, calm down.” Naruto murmured back, his hands up. “You didn’t kill them, you just…”

“Mangled them a little.” Kiba snorted from his corner of the room. “Well, a lot.”

“But they aren’t dead.” Naruto insisted, with an odd, placating smile. “And you got the worst of it, anyways. You’ve been in a damn coma for the last three days.”

“You were very lucky,” Sakura said, smiling softly as she approached Sasuke’s side. “Your sharingnan activated despite the restrictions Tsunade-sama put in and it could have killed you, well, should have killed you actually.”

“So why aren’t I dead?”

Sakura looked over at Naruto and her expression was so obviously grateful that Sasuke had his answer immediately, especially when Naruto blushed.

“It wasn’t anything I haven’t had to do before.” He said quietly.

Not looking away, Sakura smiled, “You only put enough healing chakra into his head to keep him from having an aneurism. That’s a little different than healing scrapes on the playground, Naruto.”

A silence settled over the room as the group zeroed in on Sasuke, expectant looks dotting their faces as Naruto chuckled, nervously scratching the back of his head. He new what they were expecting, and usually he would deny them just because he could, and wanted to, but Sasuke, god help him, was turning a new leaf.

He turned his hand (the one without the IVs) and opened his fingers to expose his palm, waiting for Naruto to catch his cue instead of acting like some sort of blushing schoolboy. Eventually he did, putting out his own hand to rest their palms together. He looked nervous, hesitant and confused, as if Sasuke might just jump up from his hospital bed and beat him for such presumption.

Then Sasuke twined their fingers together, curling Naruto’s hand into his own, and Naruto’s expression melted into something almost worshipful in its wondering silence.

Then, in front of all these witnesses, these friends who supported Naruto when Sasuke wouldn’t, who grieved with him, and laughed with him, and kept him safe when Sasuke’s own thought’s turned to murder, Sasuke whispered, “I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t the thanks they expected, but much, much more, and exactly what Naruto deserved to hear. Still, Sasuke had to turn his glance, staring up at the ceiling as he willed tears away with absolute desperateness.

“For everything.”

****

After a brief period of rest Sasuke returned to his work to find a busy, if not fully functional, station waiting for him. There were a few awkward moments of surprise when he first stepped through the door, but Ken dispelled the silence with a simple pat on the back and a rousing tale of two near-homicides, a cat-burglar, and a debate concerning public indecency.

“’Cause it’s different in a ninja village,” Ken said, waggling his eyebrows, “I mean, have you seen what some of those jounin wear? It’s indecent, yeah, but who really wants to give a ticket to Mitarashi Anko? I doubt someone who had the balls to walk around in an outfit like that would even pay the fine, let alone allow some poor officer to write her up.”

Sasuke could only nod, willing the flush on his cheeks to die while Ken continued to go on at length. They got all the way to public sex (“Should we just fine ugly people?”) before Sasuke’s composure finally snapped and abandoned the conversation without a word, retreating to the silence of his office.

Naruto was already there, going through a stack of papers with a well-used red pen.

“Ken owes me lunch,” He said, looking up to smile, “He thought you’d be here way sooner.”

Fully aware that yes, he was blushing, Sasuke merely grunted before pulling up a second chair.

“Things seem to have gone well in my absence.” He said, eyeing his inbox with trepidation. “I expected there to be less people.”

“Those are the newbies.” Naruto mumbled, stretching away from the pack on his lap. “After the ‘incident’ Tsunade approved the mass firing and installed your requested temps. We got ten Chuunin, four Jounin, one Special Jounin, and an ANBU squad for forensics or special pursuit. We also got an influx of civilians to help with in-office crap like paperwork, processing requests, etc.”

“How many?”

“Ten.”

“That many?” Sasuke couldn’t conceal his surprise. Over forty-eight hours his station had gone from woefully undermanned to fully staffed. “And they’re competent?”

Naruto winced.

“Naruto.” Sasuke warned, standing.

“Ken has it set up so that the newbies are paired with experienced officers, but the civilians are flying blind. There’s no one to help them, so things have been a little complicated.”

“How complicated?”

“Well, the phone system had to be figured out,” Naruto started ticking the list off on his fingers, “Then the old legal documents had to be found and filed. A whole new system of directing complaints had to be made from scratch, and a way to establish communication with officers on patrol. Things have been pretty busy here, Sasuke.”

Sasuke sat back down and stared at the ceiling. He was going to need someone to handle finances too, and someone to coordinate communications between other stations in the future. There were a million little things that had to be organized and implemented before the station would run itself effectively, and apparently Sasuke now had a staff to do that, an untrained staff, but staff nonetheless.

“I asked Shizune if she had some time to help,” Naruto said idly, returning to his papers, “She’ll be here tomorrow and can stay until the end of next week. Don’t worry Sasuke, we’ve got things going.”

Bless Naruto- Sasuke immediately felt a weight lift from his shoulders at the thought of Shizune’s capable hand attending to these million little things.

“I’ll have to thank the Hokage.”

Naruto grunted.

“She keeps sending me her best and brightest.”

Naruto’s pen stopped and a deep silence settled over the room as Sasuke peered at the blonde from behind his bangs. After a few moments a small smile flitted across his face and he murmured, “Flattery will get you nowhere, Uchiha Sasuke.”

“It’s not flattery if it’s true.” Sasuke countered immediately, thoughts of reports and budget statistics fleeing his mind at the sight of Naruto blushing down at some poor academy student’s paperwork.

“Like I said, *nowhere*.”

But that was a lie and they both knew it. Already Naruto was a little softer, a little warmer when Sasuke was around. Instead of that definite impersonal chill there was a touch of familiarity about them, gracing Sasuke with similar warmth as he watched his best friend start to forgive him.

“What would you think about bringing your students over to the station?” Sasuke continued, pulling Naruto’s interest even further, “I plan on having some sort of recruitment plan set up by the end of the year. This batch might just make it in time.”

Naruto looked up and his blue eyes were bright, his body already thrumming with the energy of possibility.

“That’s a *great* idea-” He grinned before a small, hesitant look ghosted over his features, “Do you think, maybe…could I help with that?”

Hook, line, and-

“I mean,” Naruto frowned down at his papers again, “I know Iruka-sensei would be a better match, but-”

“Nonsense.” Sasuke said, making himself busy with the first file in his inbox, “Only you will do. This is your project as much as it is mine.”

Sasuke sighed and picked out a red pen; budget reports.

“Besides, it will look good when you’re the Hokage.”

Sasuke got to marking and making notes, adding figures with ease and calculating their losses, their minimal gains, and for every pen stroke he was acutely aware that Naruto was looking up at him and grinning like they were still genin and Sasuke had promised him a lifetime of ramen.

Making Naruto happy was so easy, but it seemed that in the meantime life for Sasuke just got harder. With every positive step forward there was the inevitable step back, and though he exulted in a single smile from his best friend, there was a part of him already searching for the disaster ahead.

Eventually they both continued working, scratching away at what very suddenly felt like homework, as if they were back at the academy, so childish despite reality, and for some reason the comfort of familiarity made Sasuke feel good.

****

“Uchiha.”

“Tsunade-sama.” Sasuke gave a bow, careful to clutch his armful of loose paper and scrolls close to his chest, “May I ask what brings you here?”

“No,” Tsunade put a hand on her hip, “You may not.”

Monday was finally upon them, sending Naruto back to his students and plunging Sasuke back into the chaos of the station. Accomplishments had unraveled during his short absence, despite Ken’s best intentions, and Sasuke found himself running from one filing cabinet to another, digging through boxes and making countless copies of scrolls while attempting to dodge handcuffed miscreants and their furious relatives. The din was absolutely incredible. Phones were ringing, men and women were yelling, and the drunks in the nearby holding cells had found some metal object and were taking great pleasure in banging it repeatedly against the cell bars.

And that was the least of his worries. Tsunade couldn’t have picked a worse day to show, because Sasuke’s trial week was ending at midnight and he was sorely behind schedule; most likely soon to be joining the men with the metal pipe in that cramped little room. He knew he looked like shit, a brief glance at his reflection showed a mass of wild hair, two extremely bloodshot eyes behind skewed glasses, and a few very embarrassing ink stains all over his face and hands.

“I want to meet with my husband!” A woman screamed at an officer as she pulled against the handcuff on her wrist. She did so with such ferocity that her chair nearly tipped, shaking the desk beside her.

“Lady,” The young chuunin didn’t even look up from his file, “If you don’t stop your yelling the only thing you’re going to meet with is my fist.”

Tsunade’s glare deepened considerably and Sasuke sighed, feeling very suddenly defeated.

“Sensitivity training is in a few weeks,” He said, shoulders slumping as he brushed a hand through his hair, “It was the soonest I could find a qualified- No! You put a finger on that copier and you’ll lose it!”

Sasuke pointed a finger over the Hokage’s shoulder, managing to fully terrify the singled out girl. It had taken half the morning to get that ancient machinery to work and he’d be damned if he let some genin fuck it up again. The girl put her hands up and slowly backed away, disappearing down the hallway.

“I hope you’ll be an attendee at that particular function.” Tsunade said dryly, with an eyebrow raised. Sasuke returned his attention to her and shrugged.

“Unless I’m in prison.” He said. Panic had long since melted from furious frustration into ephemeral inevitability. Nothing could really go worse than it already had.

It also didn’t help that he’d been downing sweets like crazy. The sugar gave him a burst of energy but it also set in the dreaded nervous jitters. He had even found himself laughing out loud around three in the morning, scaring the night crew senseless as he passed out wearily on his desk. Tsunade frowned, crossing her arms over ample cleavage.

“About that,” She said, “Due to your recent hospitalization you have been given an extension.”

Sasuke smothered his hope ruthlessly.

“How long?”

Tsunade sent his shrug right back to him and scanned the room, letting the tension escalate until Sasuke was at the very verge giving up and sending a Grand Fireball into the whole fucking mess. Just start over.

“How long do you need?” She asked, finally meeting his eyes with a small, twinkling smirk.

God, how Sasuke hated the woman.

He quickly tallied up all the things that still needed approval, how far he was in the budgets, the research he needed to do on police work in general, and all of the countless little things that were in danger of slipping through his grasp, never to be thought of again.

“Three weeks,” Sasuke finally said, “Any less and you’ll have another massacre on your hands.”

Tsunade laughed as if he were actually joking before glancing around the room with a smile on her face.

“You’ve really turned this dump around, Uchiha.” She chuckled again, and Sasuke failed very much to see the joke. “You’ve got five weeks, and an order to take at least one day off for every five you work. You can thank Naruto and Shizune for that, by the way.”

She waved a hand at her black-haired assistant who seemed to be comforting the girl Sasuke had just berated.

“I need more money.” Sasuke added hurriedly. If the Godaime was in a good mood he was going to take advantage of the miracle. “The officers need new equipment and the secretaries are running out of supplies. We have one working toilet and it’s in a cell that’s currently occupied.”

His statement was reinforced by another ear-splitting bang and the shivering screech of metal on metal. Not even the bravest of shinobi had to pee badly enough to brave the drunk tank. The public was starting to get used to the sight of fully uniformed officers taking a leak behind thankfully overgrown station shrubberies. The regular catcalls really weren’t helping their public image.

“Hold a bake sale.” Tsunade said blithely, not even bothering to look him in the face. Sasuke had the distinct impression that there was a grin on the other side of her turned head. Sasuke reigned in his anger, but he could feel the barest bit of killing intent slip out of his control.

“Who the hell has the time to *bake*?”

“Well. You do have every sixth day off.” Tsunade turned and Sasuke was finally satisfied; she was smirking and it was a mean one. In the background someone wailed horribly and a filing cabinet went down, sending files and papers all over the bullpen floor.

Sasuke developed a facial twitch right on the spot.

“Clearly, of all three Sannin, you are the most deranged.” Sasuke replied in a mix of disgust and respect. Even Orochimaru had never been so wickedly coldblooded.

Tsunade just laughed again, taking a moment to ruffle Sasuke’s already disastrous hair. The fact that Sasuke didn’t bite her was a minor miracle. Somehow the Hokage always seemed to bring out his less seen but sometimes useful feral berserker mode.

“You’re the tensai, Uchiha. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

Then she turned away, walking towards the door, but like every villain she couldn’t resist the final, parting shot.

“I mean, you don’t have much a choice, do you?”

Sasuke’s cursing lasted even when the rest of her laughter had long died away. In his rage he even went as far as to kick an unoccupied chair, sending it straight through a nearby wall.

“Bitch!” He finished, looking around the room wildly before pointing at one of the milling ANBU. The man straightened and took a step away.

“Use a Doton jutsu and fix that fucking wall,” Sasuke brought his voice down to a very quiet, even drawl, “And the rest of you,” He flashed a glare, “the next person to raise their voices beyond a reasonable level will be jailed and gagged for disturbing the peace.”

Then, fully aware that he had thrown a tantrum worthy of a pre-pubescent girl, Sasuke stalked back to his office and took great pleasure in slamming the door behind him.

*****

Sakura lived in a little yellow house about five miles from the precinct. Sasuke had jogged past it for months without knowing it was hers and managed to feel a little stupid when he finally stepped forward and knocked on the bright red door. He glanced at the flowerboxes under the window, the shrubbery lining the trim grass of the front yard, and then he knocked again. When the door finally opened it was outward with a bang, very nearly clipping Sasuke’s nose.

The man who opened the door was most definitely not Sakura. “Sasuke-san! What brings you to my humble, youthful home?”

“Fuzzy-eyebrows?” Sasuke asked incredulously, checking the note from his pocket yet again. The address was still the same, 302 North Street, and the house was still yellow (just like Sakura had told him over the phone), and there was still a deli on the corner, and…there was a Lee at the front door, dressed in green pajamas and still smiling like it wasn’t actually six in the morning.

“Ah! The nicknames from my childhood!” Lee put a hand over his heart dramatically, “Your recall astounds and amazes me, Sasuke-san! It takes me back to our first meeting; two youths battling for the heart of a sweet, pink-haired goddess,” Lee sighed, staring off into the sunrise, “…Nearly planting your *face* into the *floor*….those were good times, weren’t they Sasuke-san?”

Sasuke almost bristled at the not very subtle threat in Lee’s suddenly altered tone, but in all honesty he was too damn tired to start a fight.

“Yeah. Sure.” Sasuke sighed and tried not to stare at the man’s small smirk, “Is Sakura here, by chance?”

“Yes, the beautiful blossom is in residence, but not by chance.” Lee said, putting an arm between Sasuke and the front room. “The question is why are you here?”

“I don’t know how to bake.” Sasuke seemed to be forever stomping on his pride, so it barely fazed him when Lee’s already wide eyes widened considerably before transforming into a small smirk.

“Ah, I see now. Baking is indeed a most difficult procedure,” Lee leaned forward and whispered, “Have you considered the merits of a bakery?”

Sasuke looked down at his feet and took a very deep breath.

“Look, Lee-san,” Sasuke stomped and stomped and stomped on his pride. “I’m just trying to make a fucking cake. Are you going to let me in or not?”

“Is that Sasuke?” At the sound of Sakura’s voice Lee winced a little, before calling back, “Yes, my love!”

“Oh, don’t start that again,” A familiar bob of pink materialized when Lee put his arm down. She looked the same as ever but her green eyes were tired, and her hair mussed from sleep. Sasuke made the rather traumatizing observation that the two were wearing identical outfits. Luckily for Sakura, she didn’t look too tremendously horrible in forest green pajamas.

“Sasuke,” Sakura yawned and mussed her hair, “You look like shit.”

“It’s been a busy week.” Sasuke replied dryly. “Are we going to spend all morning on the porch?”

Lee’s eyes narrowed. “Sasuke-san you should be more polite to such a lovely young-”

Sakura gestured towards the interior, “Come on in.”

Sasuke shoved against Lee and entered the little house, making sure to show at least the minimum of good manners by shedding his shoes at the doorway. Sakura led him further into the house with a sleepy grumble, and Sasuke couldn’t help but be aware of Lee at his back what with all of the murderous intent rolling off the man. For someone supposed to be practically devoid of chakra he sure knew how to give it off.

The inside of the building was very cute, very Sakura in decoration with soft, pale colors interspersed with a random enthusiastic pink or violet dotting the walls or tables. There were pictures everywhere and Sasuke found himself pausing at one of the living room walls just to stare. There was the rookie nine in one photo, team Gai in another, and a whole cadre of people he hadn’t met before clothed in little white nursing outfits.

His eyes immediately zoomed in to each flash of blonde, as they always seemed to now, and Sasuke raised a hand to trace a familiar picture on the very edge of the mass. There was Naruto, scowling furiously, Sakura beaming, Kakashi doing that odd one-eyed smile of his, and Sasuke grimacing as they took their one and only team picture…were they ever really that small? As a child he had felt enormous, full up of anger and hatred for his brother, for himself, that to look on himself six years later was nearly disturbing. Kakashi seemed to tower over them like a giant and at the time Sasuke had been too busy with being miserable to notice just how small he was, how fragile they all were in little twelve-year old bodies.

An old, no, familiar pressure pressed up against the back of his eyes so Sasuke set his glasses down on a nearby table and pulled out a handkerchief to catch the blood.

Only, when he took it away…there was no blood, just damp spots on white cotton. Sasuke stared at it stupidly for a few moments before realization hit him. How embarrassing.

“Oh,” Was all he said, ignoring Sakura’s wide-eyed stare in favor of putting the evidence of his weakness away.

“I thought I was bleeding.” Sasuke murmured, turning his head to other, less memorable, pictures. The safe ones.

Ignore it, he thought, and somehow Sakura seemed to receive the message, coming to stand beside him to point out the highlights of five long years.

“That’s the day I became an official med-nin,” She said, pointing to one photograph, “That’s the day Naruto passed the teacher’s exam.”

In both pictures they were grinning, surrounded by a group of friends. In both pictures there seemed to be a small, empty space, and Sasuke could easily add himself there, tolerant of their enthusiasm as he attended congratulations in quiet support.

“That was the day Lee and Hinata became Jounin,” Sakura continued, “And there’s Kiba with Akamaru’s first batch of pups last summer.”

Kiba looked as messy and feral as always, and Naruto was right there with him, playing on the ground with a small puppy and looking every bit the Inuzuka with playfully bared fangs. Without the chuunin vest he looked…well, it wasn’t best to dwell, was it?

“You have a very lovely home.” Sasuke said, cutting Sakura off a little too quickly to sound entirely normal. He fidgeted a little and crossed his arms in the silence.

Sakura raised an eyebrow, “Uh, thanks.”

Sasuke nodded, using his bangs as a shield to hide his expression. A small smile bloomed on Sakura’s face and she looked off to the side, running a hand through her short hair.

“C’mon Sasuke, I’ll show you the kitchen.”

Sasuke followed Sakura, and was ever so thankful when the green beast decided not to chaperone any further, deciding to camp out on the couch instead with his eyes blazing in Sasuke’s general direction. Lee had an unobscured eye line as the kitchen and the front room seemed to be merely one large space cut in half with a low wall. Sasuke took a quick moment to glare back at him before paying strict attention to Sakura, who had begun taking supplies out of various cupboards.

“So, what is this for again?” She yawned and started playing with dials on a nearby stove.

“We’re having a bake sale.” Sasuke made a face and cursed the Godaime with one thousand sake-less days. Sakura froze mid reach with her arm extended towards a cupboard.

“Did you say, ‘a bake sale’?” Sakura’s voice faltered. “As in cookies and cake and-”

“Yes, yes, a bake sale!” Sasuke snapped, completely and utterly frustrated. “That’s why I’m here, now, trying to bake.”

Sakura turned and faced him, clearly attempting to look contrite but doing a poor job of pretending. Lee didn’t even try to disguise his laughter.

“I’m sorry,” She bit her lower lip in an attempt to hide a smile, “When you said you wanted to bake a cake, I just assumed…well…”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. It was cake. What was there to assume?

“I thought you were just looking for an excuse to stop over.” Sakura finished, leaning back on the counter. “It’s what Naruto does when he wants someone to feed him.”

It did in fact sound like something Naruto would do, but, “At six in the morning?”

Sakura just shrugged, “You do weird things too.”

Sasuke sighed deeply and leaned against the warming stove, one hand over his eyes. Yes, he did do weird things, but on the same level as Naruto? There must be something in Konoha’s water if he had begun to stoop that low.

“Can we just get on with this?” He asked. Everything seemed to be a battle, like his life was actually some never-ending fight against something, anything, as long as the gods kept the last Uchiha in utter turmoil. He bet his brother was watching him from somewhere uncomfortably warm whispering ‘foolish little brother’...over and over and over again.

“Don’t pout, Sasuke-kun,” Sasuke opened his eyes to see Sakura smiling sunnily, looking much more happy and awake, “You’ll see…baking is a piece of-”

Sasuke closed his eyes again and put his hands over his ears, but he could still hear Lee laughing.

“Cake!”

****


After all his trouble in the end Sasuke ended up with a few sad looking cupcakes and a lump of smelly, frosted charcoal. He planned on sending it to the Godaime as a thank-you gift for all her thoughtfulness and support. He even painted a little Uchiha crest in the middle, right next to artfully designed ‘Fuck You Too, Hokage-sama’ in his best calligraphy. Sakura came back from her shift, Ino in tow, to find him on the kitchen floor covered in flower, egg shells, and burns, with the fire alarm going off like some sad, wailing child.

“Maybe we should rethink the baking.” Sakura suggested kindly. Ino just cracked up laughing.

“Oh my god, I am so giving this to her.”The blonde fairly cackled, “And I’m going to be standing right there with a camera.”

“No you aren’t,” Sakura scowled down at Sasuke’s cake, “I’m the only one who could put him back together afterwards, and I don’t need the extra hours.”

Sasuke groaned and started thumping his head against the cabinets to get some attention. Both girls finally looked over, eyes wide until Sasuke stopped his impromptu assault on the furniture.

“I’ve been thinking,” He finally said, “that I may need to delegate this task to someone more suited.”

The girls were very suddenly interested in looking elsewhere, making whiny, useless noises, until Sasuke sighed, and muttered, “That wasn’t supposed to be a subtle hint. I’m asking if you know anyone-”

“Oh good-” Sakura clapped her hands and grinned in relief, “Let’s see…”

She turned to Ino and they engaged in the odd whisper-giggle that was girl-speak and Sasuke immediately cut off all major functions, pretending deafness and idiocy as he looked for an escape route.

Then he remembered that the women were no longer twelve or given to acts of inappropriate touching and/or screaming his name with hearts in their eyes. Screaming his name was now usually followed by knife fights or bone-breaking punches to the head, thank god.

“Hinata.” The both blurted in an eerie chorus. Sasuke blinked.

“You do remember what I did to her cousin, don’t you?”

Ino winced but Sakura just waved it off like dismemberment and utter humiliation were no big deal.

“We reattached the hand, no problem. Just like new.” She said blithely. Clearly Sakura had never been on the wrong side of Neji’s bloodlust.

“But maybe one of us should escort you anyways.” Ino added doubtfully. “Neji was pretty pissed.”

That was a vast understatement. Sasuke clearly remembered the man making a vow that included Sasuke’s eyes, genitals, and tongue, along with a blunt, rusty kunai and the application thereof. Even now after the semi-pardon if Sasuke saw Neji coming he made an extra effort to be on the other side of the street where he could use unsuspecting bystanders as a shield, if need be.

“It was completely justified,” Sakura crossed her arms and stared her friend down, “No one survives a Jyuuken strike to the head and the mission was capture, not kill.”

And it had been close. Sasuke had been desperately low on chakra after fighting the Toad Hermit and his apprentice. Sasuke’s only option had been natural speed and a well-placed blade.

“That’s news to me.” Sasuke stood with help from the counter. “I distinctly remember Jiraya trying to put a rasengnan through my face.”

This time Sakura winced, “Jiraya…was a little upset. What did you say to Naruto, anyways?”

Sasuke looked down at his stupid little cake and tried not to remember, but the scene came back to him just as violently and ruthlessly as ever. It was still sobering that despite all the physical altercations they’d been through in the years it was always words that could hurt Naruto the most.

“I told him…” The truth really, “I told him that no matter what I did or who I killed that I would always be welcomed back to Konoha…because no mater what he did, Hokage or not, out of the two of us he’d still be the bigger monster.”

Sasuke saw Sakura’s hand coming from the corner of his eye but he didn’t block, taking the slap he deserved. His glasses flew across the room and when he looked up Sakura had tears in her eyes.

“Why?” She asked harshly.

“Why do you think?” Sasuke snapped back. “That stupid idiot just wouldn’t give up and even with all that Akatsuki bullshit Itachi still would have killed Naruto just so I could watch my only friend die. I’d rather-”

Sasuke cut himself off and looked away from Sakura’s grim frown and Ino’s wide, astonished eyes. They really didn’t have to know every single one of his secrets.

“You’d rather what?” Sakura prodded angrily, pulling on Sasuke’s shoulder and forcing him to look her in the eyes. “You’d rather break Naruto’s heart?”

Sasuke almost clutched his chest at the sudden pain, but forced himself to take deep, calming breaths instead. If he could bullshit Orochimaru he could certainly get Sakura off of his back.

“Do you really think you could have done better in my situation, Sakura? The best scenario I could perceive was that I’d go down and take my brother with me. Would you have let Naruto tag along knowing who he is and what he’s willing to do for his teammates?”

Sakura’s anger finally faltered as she bit her lip, clearly re-thinking the situation as Ino made herself busy by cleaning up dishes and countertops.

“Does he know you don’t actually believe it?” Sakura asked, stepping forward with her hands raised. Sasuke sighed at the cooling chakra running over what had to be a spectacular bruise, and asked, “What?”

Sakura looked at him like he was more than a little stupid and rephrased the question.

“Have you told Naruto that you don’t really think he’s a monster?”

Sasuke’s expression must have spoken volumes because Sakura rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in clear exasperation.

“Sometimes I really wonder what Iruka was thinking when he put you two in a group.” She huffed, “Seriously, combining two emotionally warped males together is just asking for extra trauma.”

Sasuke made a face and Ino giggled.

“I’m going to the Hyuuga compound.” He grumbled, “And I’m taking my cake with me.”

“And you’re going to talk to Naruto.” Sakura added, “Or you’ll be needing some massive facial reconstruction.”

“Mou,” Ino whined, “Not the face. That’s my favorite part.”

The girls broke out into hysterical laughter, only cut off when Sasuke discovered that muffins were truly interesting projectiles, like snowballs but considerably more messy.

He then proved that chakra or no chakra; he was still the fastest ninja around.

Next up....Sasuke braves the Hyuuga compound.