Cardiac Arrest

A special thanks to my lovely Paul G (uchihasasukekun07). You know I hold you dearly

Cardiac Arrest
by electrostatic
Chapter 4: Love should die young rather than starve on the sidewalk

- - -
“Let's go for a walk outside.” Sasuke said when Naruto approached him. He stood straight and looked at Naruto with a blank look, his mouth open a little. Naruto could see his white teeth and felt a little jealous. His teeth weren't white.

“Sure.” Naruto said. Footsteps filled the void and the tension was thick. It wasn't alright, Naruto realized. This situation, this position he had been placed in. As they walked to the big doors hiding a beautiful garden Naruto concluded that his whole life had been set up. Nobody had asked for his opinion on anything. He was a few steps behind Sasuke who was only walking faster and faster. As soon as they got outside Naruto inhaled fresh air. It was not cold nor warm, temperate as they say.

Naruto closed his eyes and breathed, putting his hands in his pocket he looked up to the sky. Opening his eyes and turning his head he saw Sasuke walk towards the brick wall and sit down on the grass. Naruto didn't get it, wasn't Sasuke too good to sit down on filthy grass?

Sasuke leaned against the wall and pulled out his packet of cigarettes. He took one out and lit it. If Naruto had a camera he would have taking a shot of Sasuke, exactly that moment. He looked like a model.

Not that he would ever give Sasuke such a compliment. Naruto felt bitter. Naruto had the right to feel bitter, right? He didn't know what to do. Sit down next to Sasuke? In front of Sasuke? Not sit at all and just stand up? Walk away?

The bitterness soon turned into anger and a little curiosity. He stomped his way over to where Sasuke sat, breathing heavily. Just to make a point. Sasuke sat unmoved and smoked his cigarette. Ignoring him, ignoring as he always does. 'Soon he won't been doing any ignoring', Naruto thought, 'He can't ignore me anymore.'

Naruto gave Sasuke a look and sat down diagonally from him. It felt like the right place to sit down. Now Naruto didn't know what to do. He just sat there. Was he supposed to talk? Stay silent until Sasuke found the right words to say? Did Sasuke also ask himself these questions? Naruto wasn't fooled by Sasuke's mask as everyone else seemed to be. Naruto knew that under all the cocky attitude and glaring Sasuke was just like everyone else. Perhaps that was why he kept away from Naruto?

The sound of Sasuke taking his weight away from the wall killed Naruto's train of thoughts. He looked at Naruto while inhaling, demanding attention silently. Naruto stayed silent. Not because of Sasuke's glare, but because Sasuke was searching for words.

Naruto had no idea that he had an artistic side, but he must have missed it. Looking at Sasuke who was doing everything for not letting his porcelain mask fall made him want to draw, take a picture, write... whatever, just as long as he captured his movement on paper. He had always known that Sasuke was handsome, but now when he sat in his school uniform smoking with his eyes distant but not distant... Naruto felt a thousand feelings and sensations.

Sasuke shifted uncomfortably from his position, destroying Naruto's thoughts once again. That didn't stop Naruto from smiling, true. Perhaps Sasuke did find a way to avoid him for a whole year, so what? They where getting married and when that occurred Sasuke couldn't flee.

Sasuke looked at him with reflecting eyes, looking deep into him before breaking the eye contact. Naruto noticed that his mouth never closed, always a bit open. Just as Naruto was going to sigh he heard Sasuke's voice fill his ears.

”Well, I just thought that we could start seeing each other. In little bits sometimes you know. Not much and not for very long but still...” Sasuke took a smoke and looked away. He said the words carefully, as if spoken to quickly Naruto wouldn't get it. Opened and closed his mouth, not wanting his words to be misunderstood or offending. The next words took some power to speak. It could be heard on the tone of his voice.

“... please don't make such a fuss about it. I don't want it to be blown out of proportion.” He looked away and focused only on the cigarette in his hand. It was soon going to die.

Naruto was too busy biting his lip to see this. His head was too busy absorbing everything that just happened. It felt as if Sasuke had talked for hours, not just for a few seconds. After a while, he replied, slowly:
”I think I understand. Do you want me to keep it a secret?”

Sasuke threw away the cigarette butt and lit a new one. He loved the brand that Neji bought for him. Looking from the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw how Naruto was starting to get uncomfortable but there was no nice way to say it.

”It all depends Naruto, when do you want to be hated?” Sasuke said calmly, but inside he was preparing for the shout that was coming. Damn, he was going to have a headache.

”WHAT?! I don't want to be hated, what kind of question is that?” Naruto yelled standing. He was mad, pissed and he hated the tension. He hated this whole situation.

“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK ARE SASUKE? STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH ME AND STOP BEING A FUCKING JERK!” Naruto couldn't breath correctly, he couldn't think. Naruto was proud of himself for not shouting out something random or worse. Sasuke's faced looked pained, as if someone just punched him or insulted his mother. But just for a second.

With a lowered voice Naruto said “I mean, we're both in this together you know? We're getting married in less then a year from now. Forever and ever Sasuke, forever and ever with me.” Naruto pointed at himself, shook his head and sat down again, trying to calm himself down.

Sasuke killed his cigarette, got up and started walking. His expressions had changed, from pain to exhaustion. Naruto didn't want to be hated or ignored. So he ran after Sasuke who walked fast away from Naruto.

”SASUKE, DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME!”. The desperate shout was the only thing the blue eyed boy could muster up, suddenly filled with regret and sadness.

”I'm tired. This place makes me depressed.”

And it felt as if a dark shadow was cast over Naruto. It took over his heart and soul leaving him standing there. It felt as if he stood there forever. His hands started shaking from all the different thoughts that started forming. He felt too many emotions that he couldn't name and before he could think about anything he ran.

Sasuke was long gone but it was a walk from Naruto to their dorm, where Sasuke had to be headed. So Naruto did the only thing that felt necessary. He ran.
He ran until he saw Sasuke walking up the stairs. It felt as if they had been outside for only ten minutes but apparently they hadn't. The stairway was empty and the only sounds one could hear was footsteps. Sasuke, who had heard that Naruto was running stopped in the middle of the stairs. He didn't look back or say anything, he just waited.

The yellow decorations didn't suit Sasuke at all, Naruto thought to himself where he stood, catching his breath. The old paintings of old important men and women suited the school well, even if it was boring. It seemed like a cosy school where pupils graduated with only good grades and good manner but in the dark the fine men and women had dark secrets and illegal habits.

Naruto didn't know what happened, but there they stood. He, with his hands around Sasuke. He supposed he ran up and embraced him but Sasuke was like a wall. He just stood there, as if Naruto didn't exist, as if he didn't hold him. Somehow that made Naruto calm. Calmer then he'd been since he got here. Something swelled up inside him and he smiled in Sasuke's neck, where he pushed his head. If Sasuke was going to ignore him he would make him work for it.

But when Sasuke became tense, Naruto could feel it. Again, he acted on feelings and whispered ”I wont force you love me.” His smile disappeared as he heard Sasuke exhale and soften up, just a little bit. Sasuke smelled cigarette and Naruto realized that it was true. He wanted Sasuke to love him on his own and if he didn't, well, Naruto would deal with it. Just as long as he didn't hate or ignore him. Just as long as he was honest.

The truth of his realization made all the emotions he had come alive and he suddenly felt as if he was being torn apart from the inside. His eyes burned, breathing got harder. Closing his eyes, he let out a worried breath. It felt as if the room got a lot colder.

”I don't hate you.” Sasuke said clearly without emotion, shook Naruto's hands away and started walking.

- - -

Sasuke thought about Naruto and didn't know how to handle this situation. He wanted to disappear in a world of music. Joy Division. He wanted to die while listening to 'Love will tear us apart', the most ironic song he had ever heard. Sasuke had once read online that Joy Division was 'positive depression'. Sasuke doesn't know if positive depression exist, but if it does, he hopes that is what he has. It sounds better than just 'depression'.

The room was dark, the only source of light was the window shielding him from the strong wind. He had to light a cigarette, the need for nicotine biting hard into his flesh and refusing to let go. Sasuke both hated and loved the strong hold that nicotine had him in. Unable to control it.

That's why he accepted most of the decisions his father made for him. He didn't care if Sasuke smoked, drank, fucked, played... just as long as Sasuke was presentable and knew how to behave, Fugaku was out of the picture.

The playlist changed, playing 'Candidate'. He idly wondered where Neji could be. He was starting to feel restless and creative. Usually when he got into one of these mood's, he would do some large assignments for the whole night. The raven didn't like to write poetry or his thoughts down, despite how mainstream and good it could have felt. He simply didn't want anyone to be able to read them. Neither did he want to draw or play on his guitar. Sasuke wasn't in the mood for that. But he needed to do something, sitting on his bed smoking wasn't so appealing this evening.

Sasuke closed his eyes and smoked. The room was only getting colder and colder. School always turned off the heater when it wasn't that cold outside. Sasuke hated it. Sasuke hated waking up in the mornings to a cold room, but they wanted to save some money. When the song changed to 'Shadowplay', the darkness that would soon fill his room would make him want to flee. However, if he got caught walking outside of the common room he would get detention.

'Unnecessary', he thought and threw the still lit cigarette in the trash can.

Sasuke put on his school hoodie and turned his computer off. He doubted it would be warmer downstairs. As he got out of the room he found out that his thoughts had been right. It was colder outside of the room and he could only hope that the common room would be more comfortable. At least there were blankets.

The raven haired boy watched himself in the significant mirror. He looked tired with his laid back clothes and tired eyes. His hair was a mess since he hadn't had the energy to fix it. Sasuke shrugged and walked down. He let out a breath after scanning the room and only finding three people in the room and none of them had blonde hair. Neji sat in a couch by the wide screen television with Tenten lying in his lap. That they had a thing wasn't news, but they never did anything with it. Neji always claimed that school was taking up all of his time and Tenten always waited.

The third person, Sakura, sat in front on the television alone. Sasuke used to hate the girl in their beginning years but now after she matured a little and at least tried to talk as a normal being around him, he could tolerate her. But only when she was alone or without a group pressuring her to be someone she wasn't.

He sat down on the other end of the couch and asked Sakura if they could watch 'Control'. He said it in more of a command. Sasuke wasn't in the mood to watch some Lindsay Lohan movie, not after “the talk” and Ian. Before Sakura could respond Neji chuckled and Tenten giggled.

“You know Sasuke, if you continue to idolize Ian Curtis, you're going to hang yourself. And that's a shame, because you're more talented than Ian.” Neji said, looking amused. “I mean, you treat this movie as if it's your bible. It's not even directed that good.”

“We all have different tastes Neji and I happened to like Joy Division. I have no plans to kill myself unlike Ian that planned that his whole life. Neither do I steal pills from old grannies or play in a band. Come to think of it, I don't have anything similar to Curtis.” Sasuke said with a monotone voice.

“Sure you have.” Sakura said fast and loud. “You both smoke and never smile!” She went over to the DVD-player and took out her movie. She remembered where Control was since it had been next to her movie. “But I like Control too. I think it's a great reflection of how it can be, living as a singer.” She said it more to herself she discovered, when no-one replied.

“I liked you more when you idolized The Beatles. I mean, John Lennon's agenda was 'Make love not war' and Paul McCartney is still a fucking God, even through he's over sixty.” Neji claimed and looked at Sasuke with amusement. “Sakura has a point. I'm pretty sure you smoke more then Ian, Paul and John together.” Neji said. Somewhere in their so called conversation, Tenten had fallen asleep. It was late at night and they should be sleeping.

Sasuke looked at both Sakura and Neji with disgust and said “No, John Lennon is more of a God than Paul and I don't smoke that much.”

“You do know that The Beatles made more then one movie?” Tenten said sleepily as she woke up for a while, only to fall asleep again. Neji chuckled again and only gave Sasuke a look before turning his attention to the television.

Sasuke made himself comfortable as the movie started. Sakura sat down on her end and they sat silently, watching the movie.

When the movie ended, it was around midnight. Sakura had fallen asleep, Tenten had gotten up to her room somewhere around the middle of the movie and Sasuke was fighting the drowsiness. Neji stood up, stretched and then walked over to turn the television and DVD player off.

Sasuke woke Sakura up and together they walked to the stairs, where they parted. Sakura said a low 'goodnight' before she walked up the stairs leading to the right dorm corridor. Sasuke walked up the left, hearing Neji walking after him. They both undressed in silence and went to sleep.

- - -

Sasuke hated mornings. He hated the cold wind blowing on his face and how one shoulder was ice cold since he didn't wear a shirt when he slept. Yawning, he sat up against his will and tried to collect his thoughts. It was a hard thing to do considering that he was so tired he couldn't open his eyes.

It took him a few minutes, some more yawning and a ringing phone to realize that today was the first day in school. He turned around after putting his phone on snooze and closed his eyes. Sasuke tried to go back to sleep but he had some strands of hair in his face. It annoyed him since he was too tired to remove them but too awake to ignore them. He heard Neji padding into the room and groaned when Neji turned the lights on.

“Sasuke, get out of the bed and go shower.” Neji said and sat down next to his computer.

Soon all that could be heard in the room was Neji's fingers tapping on the keyboard, as he typed.
Sasuke still tried to get up, to find his willpower. But the feelings of anxiety and unknowing refused to leave him. He heard Neji leave the room to go down to breakfast. Sasuke looked down at his feet, feeling his eyelids growing heavier. When the phone rang for the second time he decided to get a grip of himself, get off of the bed and take a shower.

Feeling the warm water fall against his cold skin felt good. He thought for a second that he should go down and have some breakfast, but he knew that he couldn't get anything down in the mornings. That always resulted in that when time came for lunch he was starving.

Sasuke stood in the shower and decided that he couldn't afford to have personal issues, not now. This was the last year. He had studied so hard to get where he was today. People looked on him as a very smart and talented person, and if he failed to live up to the standard he had set up himself... He wouldn't know what to do.

He rinsed his hair and walked out of the shower. Looking at his face in the mirror he saw how red his face was because of the hot water. The tiredness had left his body and for that he was glad.

After putting his uniform on he walked downstairs. He contemplated for a while, whether to smoke or eat breakfast. He wasn't that hungry but if he didn't eat before he smoked he would get nauseous. And he really didn't fancy getting sick and throwing up the first day back in school.

Half running, half jogging down to the dinner hall Sasuke looked around. He spotted the breakfast buffet and walked over fast. He avoided eye contact on his way over, not in the mood for conversations about the weather or their horrible scheme. The line was short and soon Sasuke could get himself a to-go paper cup which he filled with black coffee. He added two sugar cubes before closing the cup with a lid. Sasuke also took a piece of white bread.

When he turned around his eyes instantly fell on Naruto, that just happened to look up at the same time. Sasuke felt uncomfortable in Naruto's gaze and thought 'no personal issues'. He walked out of the room and out in the hallway, the urge for the nicotine rush was the only thing he had on his mind.

- - -

The walk out was hard since he was constantly stopped by people who thought they were his friends. The humanistic side of him would have felt sorry for these people. That they didn't have the brains to understand that he simply had no interest in them. Sometimes, when he was in a foul mood, he would get irritated at these people.

It really was a good thing he had killed his humanistic side.

Sasuke liked walking out to the small park with benches and flowers. Feeling the morning air blowing against his cheeks. He sat down on one of the white benches and took a deep breath. He hated how he had long eyelashes, feminine. Closing his eyes and bringing his cup to his lips he calmed down. It wasn't crowded at all outside and that was what Sasuke loved about the early mornings.

There were not that many pupils that didn't hide in their beds or ate breakfast in the morning. The few that dared to go out were students like Sasuke, that only wanted to take that morning cigarette with fresh air as company. And of course the athletes who took their morning run every morning. One of these athletes was Lee, his classmate.

Rock Lee was a boy with black bowl cut hair and big eyebrows. He looked freaky and scary, but he was a kind person. 'His heart is bigger than anyone else's in the school', Sasuke thought to himself as he ate his bread. Even through he hated to admit it he sometimes envied Lee. At least he had a goal with his life and a point. Sasuke doubted that Lee ever woke up feeling like shit and even if he did he would turn it into something positive.

And it only made Sasuke's angst return. He had to stop doubting himself. He had to stop slowing himself down he thought and pulled out the lighter.

He looked at the big clock and saw that he had ten minutes. Ten minutes to smoke. Sasuke didn't need a reason to live, to have a goal. Even through he never ever had thought about marriage he should have felt violated. He should have felt violated every time someone made his decisions for him. But he never did and he never would. He always chose the easier way and somehow it didn't feel as easy as it was.

Closing his eyes, taking a deep breath. The feeling of having a nicotine rush was almost mind blowing. It almost made him smile until he opened his eyes and saw that if he didn't hurry he would be late and an Uchiha is never late.

- - -

At first Naruto had felt uneasy. It wasn't everyday one's fiance ran away while you embraced them. But then again, it wasn't everyday one got forced to engage someone against your will. Or was it? Naruto didn't know.

But this was Naruto's first day at school and he would forever hate the black haired boy and curse his entire being if he destroyed Naruto's mood. He had already started to make some friends and Naruto wanted to keep them. He wasn't going to go emo on their asses just because Sasuke was weird. At least he didn't hate him. It was a start, wasn't it?

Something else that made him smile was his timetable. It was wonderful! Late mornings every morning. Naruto loved that, he always had a problem with waking up too early in the morning. The fact that he loved what he had seen from his new school excited him to no end.

The students to whom he had been introduced to where mostly Kiba's friends. They were friendly and talkative, which was very much appreciated. Yet they where different from each other. Like a red string went through them. They all had very different personalities and morals, but somehow they liked each other, and Naruto. He had never experienced something like this before, getting so quickly accepted in a group. He'd been there for what, a day? Still he felt as home as one could feel after two days and one night at a new place.

While washing his teeth after a long shower he thought about the events after getting ditched by Sasuke. He found Kiba in their room and they headed to the Leaf's common room. Even through it was against the rules, students walked into each other's common rooms all the time. There was a golden rule among the students however and that was that one could only go if he or she found it themselves.

Kiba's friends where a group of colourful, young adults in the making. You have Kiba, the brown haired boy who still had his baby fat in his cheeks (which where colored with red swirls). Their housemate Sakura had big pink hair and green eyes. Her hair was fake but somehow she pulled it off without looking like a plonker.

Shikamaru was the lazy boy who had his hair put up in a ponytail and belonged to the Leaf. He loved the word 'troublesome' and only talked when he had some smart comment. His housemate was Ino, a blonde haired girl with blue eyes. She reminded him of himself, both with looks and personality. They both were loud and obnoxious, as well as lovable. Still, he believed that Ino was a little bit more careful with her look.

Hinata (who he later found out was Neji's younger cousin) was in the Poppy house. She sat mostly quiet and observed, only spoke if she had enough room to speak or when she was talked to. Some might see that as a polite behavior but anyone could see that it was from lack of self-esteem. Her housemate was Chouji who was a fat one. At first Naruto had thought from seeing his glad face that he was one of those fat kids who you could laugh with. After seeing Kiba get beat up after commenting on his eating, Naruto wasn't so sure anymore. But otherwise, he was a kind hearted boy. Naruto was glad for that, he got kind of scared of him after beating up Kiba.


Shino was the only one from the Lily house. He wore matrix-glasses and shielded his face by wearing a school sports jacket with high neck. Shino didn't speak at all, just grunted when spoken to. You can guess that he has a hell of a poker face. Shikamaru's girlfriend was also in the Lily house.

As they played several rounds of poker he had gotten a hold on their personalities as well as the latest gossip. That included information about everything from teachers and students to where the best places to make out or have sex. Also, they gossiped about different, so called “special” students. Naruto soon got a full essay containing who not to talk to and who did what. As well as warnings of what could make him a possible outsider (of course, that wouldn't happened unless you ratted).

However, that wasn't the big deal, no. It was a dreaded and loved blog, written by a 14year old girl who got inspired by the gossip girl show. This girl kept her identity hidden too. Ino told him that the gossip was mostly on the younger kids and boring. That's because the source was young.

But appearing on the blog wasn't a good thing. JHIB's gossip girl was everything but nice. When she wrote about the seniors it wasn't an honor. She did more harm than good and the horrified students tried to shut it down, but teachers liked it. They didn't approve of it and felt it was some very inhumane content in it, but it also let them know what is going on. Naruto had a feeling that Ino had been in it several times but felt that it wasn't his place to dig his nose in.

“HEY, NARUTO! Hurry up!” Kiba shouted from the other side of the door. “There are other people that have to use the bathroom.”

Naruto felt as if he had been awoken from a trance. When he looked in the mirror one last time before exiting, it was fucking good lookin' back.

- - -

A/N: Ah, I really like this one. A lot of Sasuke POV, but I felt that the story needed it. For those who got confused, JHIB stands for John Harlington's international boarding school. The name is fictional, I just made it up!

So, I have some things figured out. But I would also like to know what do you, as the reader who read to the fourth chapter, want to see? Do you want to see Naruto get drunk and make the biggest show ever about their relationship? Do you want to see some more characters? Who?

I love your reviews, I do. That you push the button and write a sentence or two makes me so glad, but when it only contains “good. Update soon.”... I kinda want to hear more. What was good? Therefore, give me feedback. And if there's something you hate, don't keep it in! “I HATE HOW NARUTO IS :@@@@ WRONG. FIX IT!”... elaborate please.

Of course, it's my job as the writer to come up with all the drama, but it would be nice to know what you would want to read :)

Hope you enjoyed it,
electrostatic.