How I Became Gay
IV
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How I Became Gay
By:
Late-Sleeper
Note: Unbeta…sorry…grammar
butchered again for no apparent reason…
I clutched the pink bear tightly
and pouted as Hinata combed my hair neatly.
“It didn’t go well?”
I pouted more. “He was a real
asshole.”
Hinata
unbelievable thing she had ever heard while continuing on doing my hair.
Heh
would dig Hinata. She was the nicest girl I ever met
and she listens to my every whine and problems.
“I thought Uchiha-san
was cool?”
“He’s not.”
Definitely
not.
“So don’t go on falling for that
guy. He’s a real creep.” I frowned and clutched the bear tightly, squeezing its
tiny arm in frustration. Hinata giggled a bit. “Don’t
worry. Uchiha-san’s not my type.”
Ah
I looked at her and raised both
my hands to her face as if I was a devotee and she was a saint on an altar
filled with beautiful flowers. “Just for that you have been saved from the
devil.”
Hinata
made me laughed too. Funny how this girl bonding made me a better
I heard Sakura entered the room
with a loud thumping. I looked at the door and there she was in all her
shinning naked glory and I just
rolled my eyes.
Wait…………………
This…I just ignored a fucking
naked girl with big boobs and only clothed with skimpy little bra and tiny,
almost nonexistent, that they call panty.
NOOOOOO!!!
What’s
“Naruto, are you sure Sasuke
would be coming here?”
Oh yeah I remember.
“Yes.” ‘
girl bitching her friends behind their back.
Hinata
some boys you know.”
Sakura lips twitched in annoyance and pointed at me. “The only thing that
Naruto is thinking right now is how he wished that he could wear this too.” Sakura
then pranced towards me and kneeled in front of me.
Then it finally hit me.
The pheromones of women are
acting on me once again. Oh thank you divine one. I am getting hard again for a
woman. “Sakura would you take away your boobs off my face before I puke.” ‘
thoughtfully. Aww…I’m still
a pervert.
Sakura patted my head and
grinned at Hinata. “See I told you. He’s just jealous
of my body.”
“Anyway
Sakura-chan why are you still dress like that?
“That’s the idea.”
“But I thought you were pinning
on Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun to be together?”
“
Hinata
when she giggled like that. Now I’m really wishing
that I’m really a straight man.
Which is, I am. Damn it!
“I can’t believe you don’t like
him, Naruto? I even go on to such length to introduce you two.” Sakura pouted
at me. Aww…now she’s getting
cuter by the minute. “One, because he’s a jerk.” I
answered back.
Sakura frowned.
“And two he’s vain…I could think
of seven more things I hate about
him.” I grinned as my mind played the soundtracks of Miley
Cyrus inside my head. I heard Hinata singing softly
after I said that, which I too sang along while Sakura frown deepened.
“Fine!
man and that my body could still attract him.” Sakura posed like a pin-up model
in front of us. “I’m going to make him straight with my body.”
Then suddenly it clicked.
My ticket out!
“Sakura I…”
A knock suddenly stopped my
confession. Sakura hurriedly went flying towards the door and
opened it wide.
There standing outside the room was
Neji and Sasuke, shocked clearly written all over their faces as their eyes
landed on Sakura’s almost naked body. If I were they, I would be excusing
myself now and would be going to a nearby bathroom and do what normal healthy
boys would do.
Aww
fool. I happily dance inside my head.
Neji gave a loud uneasy clearing
of his throat with his face colored like a crab in a hot pot.
co-member of the Jiraya fans club for perverts. Sasuke
on the other hand…wait….hahaha nah I guess he too is
a member. Aww I never knew bastards like them are on
the same level with a person like me.
Though
guys are looking at my own harem.
Hey, I’m the only one allowed to see them. So shoo!
“
the awkward atmosphere, which Sakura’s body made.
Sasuke bend his body sideways so
that he could look pass Sakura’s body. He gave me a
you-look-stupid-in-a-bunny-slipper-grin, which I almost gave him a flip of the
bird if only there weren’t girls around. “
“Then talk.” I crossed my arms
and nudge Hinata to continue doing my hair.
“Privately.”
I reluctantly stood up from
where I was sitting and headed towards the door where a still dumbfounded
Sakura stood. Heh
rotting to oblivion as no one really cares to notice her as I walked out of the
room. I slammed the door shut so that we could have some…even just a little bit,
privacy.
“What?” I crossed my arms at him
and glared. Damn! If only I wasn’t wearing a clip on
my hair and a cute bunny head slippers I could really look menacing.
The Uchiha
grin at me and touched the clip on my head as if he was on a trance. I tried to
evade it so he stopped midways and frowns.
“Come on bastard! What the hell
do you want?” I insisted as I rest my back on the wall near the door while he
stood there facing me. He gave an annoyed sigh and looked over his shoulder.
I too looked at what he was
looking at and I felt embarrassed upon seeing Neji still standing there a few
feet away from us. “Would you mind Hyuuga? I want to
talk to Naruto privately.”
Neji frowned at him and gave a
small nod at me. “Just call, Naruto if you needed something.”
Then he left us.
Weird.
If I needed
something?
Huh?
Am I the only normal person
around here?
“So where were we?” Sasuke
leered at me. I glared at him. “You want to talk to me about something.”
“Yeah, I’m free tomorrow at
twelve so we can go to the mall. Just remember no holding ha…”
“WHAT?!”
I screeched at him before he could finish. “What the hell are you talking
“Dobe,
have you forgotten about our deal.”
Deal.
What deal?
He must have read my mind or
maybe I was looking like a dork at lost at was he was saying when he suddenly
leaned towards me and whispered into my ears. I actually felt a tingling
feelings on my stomach running down…err…never mind.
I tried to push him but he
planted his hands around my waist. He was fucking damn strong for a skinny
“Dobe,
we had a deal. You become my pseudo homo
lover and I’ll keep your little dirty secret.” His breath tingle my ear and I
actually felt a little horny.
Wait!!!
Okay, fine I have no excuse
whatsoever except that I haven’t had any
not gay, people. I’m
“Get off.” I pushed him away…or
at least tried my best. Fuck! We might have looked like some couple in a chick
flick movie. Oh man!
He didn’t
budged as he leaned in further towards me. “
conversation and blow your cover.”
Okay that made sense though his
closeness really is truly vexing. I kept still and let him talk in whisper
through my ear as I try hard to think of anything else except his hot breath on
my ear and neck.
DAMN YOU
OF
time if I wasn’t on my peak of youth. Damn it!
Note to self: get laid…wait…maybe
something much reachable…masturbate. Yes, when I get home I’m
going to jerk myself to sleep. Yes, I must read porn!
porn! Boobs!
“Dobe,
are you listening to me?” He whispered angrily at me, his face this time was
just a few millimeter from my face.
“Yes.” I spit out.
“Fine.
an authoritative tone.
“No.”
“What ?
I thought you said that… Dobe
cheeks.
Another note to self: stop
watching shoujo anime and reading romance novel.
“I don’t want to.” I heard
myself half whine half moan.
WAIT!!!!!!!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Shit must not think of
gay! I’m not gay! Think porn! Think porn! Think boobs,
lotsa boobs.
Yeah, boobs…
Fuck! Now I’m
getting much more aroused. Well on the
lighter side of it, I’m still straight!
Shit! Think Kiba, yes
Ewwww!
“What the hell are you saying
“I said I don’t want to.” I said
with conviction. I finally felt in control. “I want out.”
“You do know I could tell them
your secret.”
“Not before I tell them that I
got turn on when I saw Sakura’s body just now, so that makes me no longer gay.”
I sneered at him. “As if they would buy that.” Sasuke
retorted back, not really convinced with my idea.
“Oh they will. They will.” I
happily sang with my offbeat tune. “Because that’s actually
Sakura’s plan on you.”
Sasuke frowned and let go of my
body. “Then shall we try?” He grinned at me as he walked towards the door.
I grin back at him and walked
towards the door as he opened it for me. As I entered the room
Sakura was no longer in her naked form but is now sporting a cute little pajama
with a cute pink bow on the front.
“Naruto want to say something.”
He grinned at me with malice. I wanted to sneer at him but I felt both Sakura’s
and Hinata’s eyes on me, then I felt it, I felt a bit
jittery. I’ve gotten nervous all of a sudden.
What if they
don’t buy it? What if they think
Well, okay, I am a pervert but
they don’t
“I…I.”
“Naruto spit it out, or do you
want me to wring your neck for you to speak.” Ah, threats. How can I talk now when
she’s threatening me?! Shit!
“I…I…” I can’t
say it. I looked at Sasuke. I don’t know why,
actually.
“I…I…”
“Naruto!!!”
Sakura screamed at me.
Whaaaa
“I…Sakura I got
my confession and my eyes, grew huge when I saw whom it belong
Sasuke grin at me and without
even taking his eyes off me as he said. “We’re officially dating.”
WHAT?!