Words I Don't Understand

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Ope et consilio

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The next day in school had been horrible to say the least. I had told Sakura about my visit and the fact that Sasuke was a nutter, but she had been a difficult case. Her crossed arms and upturned nose had indicated her strong disbelief in what I had to say. “Sasuke is not crazy” she had said in a scolding tone and dissed me for the rest of the day. I had asked Kiba what he thought about it, but he’d just shook his head and tsk-ed. “I would have been a bit freaked out too if some stranger came to my house without reason and started hitting on me.” I’d tried to explain to Kiba that I in fact was no stranger and that I definitely hadn’t been flirting with him. I’d also been somewhat disturbed by the fact that both seemed to defend Sasuke even though his motives had been perfectly clear the moment I’d seen him with that butcher’s knife. “He was probably just cooking” Sakura had snapped, looking at me as if I was the idiot before stomping off, when in fact I was the only one who seemed to have my sanity still intact.



Sasuke hadn’t been in school the day after my little visit. I hadn’t been surprised, but merely enjoying the fact that I didn’t have to see his crazy face. The day after he’d been back though, and he hadn’t looked too friendly. He’d seemed tired and avoided me the whole day, but then again, I had been avoiding him as well. The days were passing slowly and Sasuke seemed even broodier than usual. I’d once caught him staring, or rather glaring, at one of the bathroom doors. I’d observed his behaviour, trying to find out whether he was just irritated or in an I-want-to-kill-someone mood, when he turned and happened to see me. His angry glare had been replaced with that of fear again and he’d hastily turned around and briskly walked away. I just couldn’t figure out what his problem was. He stank and that was getting me nowhere. Or well, he didn’t actually stink; I was just trying to explain what his insides would look like if he was turned inside out. And since his attitude reeked of crazy bastardness I figured he’d stink if one did.



Sakura had continued her observations even though I’d tried telling her they were unnecessary; keyword being `tried´. I think she enjoyed watching him from afar. My own studies had been extensively reduced to the cafeteria where he always sat at the same table at approximately the same time every day. I don’t know if he knew I was watching him, but judging by the oblivious demeanour, he didn’t seem to be aware of anything besides what was going on in that twisted mind of his. These were the few times I could get a closer look at him. And slowly, but surely had I begun realising that he might not want to kill me after all; he never looked at me as if he wanted to and never seemed to bother coming close enough to hurt me. Maybe Sakura had been right, maybe he’d just been cooking. I had felt somewhat excited for unexplainable reasons upon thinking this and immediately decided to see the oracle. `The oracle´ had in fact been Kiba’s doing, but since Shikamaru had been irritated as hell upon hearing Kiba call him that, I’d decided to adapt it as his new nickname.



“Oh oracle, may I seek your guidance?” I’d asked in an all too serious tone, rousing him from his nap on a patch of grass in the schoolyard. With bleary eyes and the corners of his mouth turned downwards, Shikamaru looked at me as if irritated. “Stop calling me that” he’d mumbled before closing his eyes again and lying down. I’d decided to do it his way since I otherwise probably would be left without his guidance. So I sat down on the grass beside him and placed my hand behind me, leaning slightly backwards. “Can I ask you something?”



He’d turned his head in my direction and peeked at me from behind thin slits. “What is it?” he’d asked, not sounding the least bit intrigued. I hadn’t felt very insulted since that was the way he normally spoke and he had been tired; I couldn’t blame him for feeling stolen of his precious sleep. “How do you know if someone wants to kill you?” I’d asked quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear. “Kill you? Who’d want to do that?” he’d asked in an amused tone. He was probably all too used to my obscure thoughts and actions. “What did you do now?”



“Nothing, I’ve done nothing” I’d said in an insulted tone. He always assumed I’d done something to aggravate someone else, making them `want to kill me´. Not in the same sense as I’d thought Sasuke had wanted to kill me, of course, but in a less serious way. Definitely not including butcher’s knives.



“Then why do you assume someone wants to kill you?” he’d asked, opening his eyes fully to look curiously at me. I seemed to have perked his interest.



“Because,” I’d begun, feeling somewhat queasy as I’d swallowed, “well, technically maybe he doesn’t want to kill me, but he’s been looking funny at me; as if he’s afraid and… when I went to his house, he was holding a butcher’s knife. His mother literally had to pry if from his hands!” Okay, so maybe not pry it, since technically he hadn’t been holding it in a very tight grip. But he had been holding it in his hands and his mother had taken it from him none the less and that’s what really matters, isn’t it?



Shikamaru had just looked at me and laughed. “Is this about that Sasuke guy?” I’d looked at him confused; did he know, and in that case, how? “Who told you?!” I’d exclaimed surprised and made an agile rolling move so that I was sitting on my knees. Shikamaru just looked at me amusedly again. “Kiba told me all about your little scheme, but I’d thought you’d already dropped that thing about him wanting to kill you; that’s just ridiculous.” I had in fact felt somewhat insulted by his statement. I was not scheming; I was using my intelligence to solve the unsolvable: kind of like a detective if you thought about it. But at the same time I’d realised that he was probably right; why on earth would Sasuke want to kill me anyway? “I guess…” I’d said and scratched the back of my head, “But why is he acting so strange then?” Because no matter from which direction at looked at it, I still couldn’t figure out what his motives were. Shikamaru had still been smiling when he’d said in a cryptic way: “it’s complicated.”



“Complicated? What do you mean by that?” What the hell had he meant by that? Yes, I know, my thought sometimes had a bit of what one might call a delayed reaction, but that was perfectly normal, really. Kiba usually said that I spoke before thinking, but that sound so retarded, so I’ll just stick with delayed reaction.



The oracle shrugged. “There are things in this world we’ll never understand” was all he’d said before standing up, brushing dirt off his pants and walking inside. I’d been confused to say the least. Sure, I held great amount of faith in the oracle and usually took his advice to heart and did as he told me to do. But then again, his advices were usually more comprehensible than that. Maybe he knew I disliked unravelling mysteries and decipher codes, which was why he usually just told it as it was, cut straight to the case, no curlicues. I couldn’t help but ask myself why he decided to be all mysterious and shit now; when I needed his advice the most. Things were weird enough as it was. Maybe Sasuke was some crazy vampire who wanted to suck my blood, I thought, figuring that would be something I’d never understand. But then again, weren’t vampires allergic to sunlight? I mean at least normal ones.



And besides, how did Shikamaru know why Sasuke was all weird and crap? And why didn’t he want to tell me? Perhaps Sasuke and Shikamaru knew each other. Maybe they were plotting something; something against me. Like killing me! Was that why Shikamaru told me it was ridiculous that Sasuke would want to kill me? Because he knew Sasuke was planning to do exactly that?



I shook my head. What was I thinking? No one wanted to kill me. Why would they want to kill me anyway? No, I was just tired and in need of a good night’s sleep, which I hadn’t been getting a lot of after the incident at the Uchiha household. I was having these weird dreams about knifes and burning eyes and it freaked me out. Not that I would tell anyone. Kiba would probably just make fun of me while Sakura would snicker and say something like `See? I knew Sasuke wasn’t the crazy one!´



That day was a slow one and when I finally made it home, I realised I didn’t have any food. This bummed me out quite a lot. I hated buying groceries and spending money on unnecessary things. Okay, so maybe food was like the bane of my existence, but that didn’t make it hurt any less every time I handed the cashier them crisp money papers we call money. An ache in my chest hurting more than a broken heart stabbed me every Thursday at three (which was when I usually bought my food). The empty apartment screamed for a vacuum cleaner and some soap, but I feigned ignorance and cooked some pasta instead. I swear I was going to get sick if I kept on living in that dump, but as long as I could see the carpet I figured I’d be fine. I didn’t know if I was going to regret this later.



So I went to school the next day, feeling more tired than the day before and getting irritated a lot more than before. The oracle, with his divine prophesies, told me I had PMS. This was not funny since it made Kiba poke me a lot during history and scream “PMS!” whenever I smacked his hand away. History was the only class I had with Sasuke. I briefly wondered why he hadn’t come the day after my visit, but figured it either was because of me or because he was a bastard. I personally voted for option number two. Not that it made any difference. He was still a crazy maniac who wanted to take over the world. Now where did I get that from? Eh, who cares?



I had decided to sit in the front, hoping to sit close enough to him so that I could figure out what was wrong without having to ask. But of course it backfired when he decided to sit at the back and brood like some emo. I could basically feel his sulk transmit through the air like radio-waves and hit me like a well-aimed upper-cut in the guts. Ouch! I was a bit depressed and didn’t find the lesson particularly interesting. Not that it caused me to miss out on any vital information necessary to do whatever we were supposed to do. I usually just stared out the window anyway.



On the fourth day after my visit, I began thinking about weird stuff. Like, for example how overly nice and cheerful Sasuke’s mom had been. And how lost his father had seemed. As if he hadn’t known what to do. And that cut out face. That had been freaking weird. Why did they have it framed and hung on the wall if it looked like something from a psycho horror-film? No, that family sure was something else. No wonder Sasuke was so weird.



Another thing that happened on the fourth day was that another student came to our school. Apparently, his adoptive family had kicked him out and left the country, leaving him all alone in some forest to fend for himself. When Sakura and her blonde friend Ino had told me about it, I’d just laughed. I’d thought they were joking, but I’d been wrong, because only an hour or so later, the freaky bug-boy in my math class, Shino, had said the same thing. Kiba had obviously been the one wanting to pass on the tale, peeking over Shino’s shoulder and nodding vigorously during the whole thing. But since Kiba couldn’t tell a story without adding at least half as much complete bullshit, he’d ordered Shino to tell it. Kiba had, none the less, added details here and there about how the poor thing almost had been killed by a grizzly bear before someone found him. Shino had looked strangely at Kiba from behind his shades, and walked back to his seat. I’d told Kiba he should stop lying, but he had just waved a hand in front of my eyes and tsk-ed. “It adds flavour to the dish!” he’d proclaimed proudly.



The new student had been a guy and he’d been wearing the ugliest shirt I’d ever seen. It showed half of his stomach and made me want to puke. Not because he had a flaccid stomach or anything, but because it made me think about naked guys. That was gross. Adding to the discomfort was the fact that he looked like a zombie; a smiling zombie. In other words: a smiling dead person wanting to eat my brain. And I’m saying my brain here because the way he was looking at me the first time I saw him was way too coincidental to be anything else. Not that I had become paranoid and thought everyone wanted to harm me… or wait, maybe I did. But this time I was sure I was correct. The only thing missing would be his arms outstretched and a drawn-out moan for flesh emitting from him echoing throughout the hallways and `bam!´, we’d have ourselves a real life Dawn of the Dead.



The point here is, however, that our history teacher, Iruka, introduced this guy to us, the class, and while he did this, the guy looked at me… the whole time. I was freaked out!



“This is Sai… everyone.” Iruka announced and smiled encouragingly at the boy. Kiba immediately raised his voice and poked a finger at Sai.



“Don’t you have a surname?” he asked in a haughty tone. Sai hadn’t ever looked at him, but instead seemed to have frozen his gaze on me. Then he’d opened his mouth and the whole class had been holding their breaths.



“… No” was all he said, and I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed. But Iruka had just looked menacingly at all of us while telling the new guy to take a seat. Of course, the retard had chosen to sit behind me. He’d probably sat down next to me had not Kiba been sitting there. Sometimes, I was really glad I knew Kiba. But I could tell Sai was watching my back, probably plotting the murder of me or something equally gruesome. Kiba glanced at him and then turned back to me. He leaned close and whispered in my ear: “That guy is freaky; he’s been watching you ever since he came.” It made me feel both relieved and queasy that Kiba had noticed his stare as well. And to add to the potpourri had Shikamaru silently motioned me over to him after class and asked me if I knew Sai since he apparently couldn’t take his eyes off me. That, if something made me nauseous. Simply knowing that the oracle, aka the laziest and most inattentive person (besides myself of course) I’ve ever known, noticed the staring, made me want to puke.



After class, Sakura approached me for the first time since her outburst about Sasuke not being crazy (which is a lie ‘cause he is) and said I should apologise. I told her I was not going to apologise for something unless I was wrong. Really, she should be apologising to me since Sasuke in no way possible could be at least one per cent sane! She got a bit mad at me and hit me in the head. I told her I was sorry. But I crossed my fingers behind my back so I was still cool.



After that, she dragged me away to the cafeteria and pushed me into a chair. Then she sat down in front of me and leaned forwards really close and got a certain gleam in her eyes. “Guess what I saw today?” she squealed in enthusiasm. I stared at her for a few seconds before slowly shaking my head. “Tell me” I said, feeling somewhat anxious of what she was going to whip out her ass this time. Because this was not the first time she had tried her “girl-talk” with me. It seemed that whenever Ino wasn’t close by, she’d grab onto me and tell me all about her day and how many times she’d talked to Sasuke. Usually, I ignored her and dreamed about a lonely island far, far away, but ever since the investigation had begun, my interest in her tales had increased tenfold. I never knew Sakura was such a good interrogator.



“Sasuke told me he hates the moon” she hissed out, staring almost as if insane at me. I did mention my interest in her attempts at making Sasuke talk which I also might add I was really impressed by, didn’t I? Her devotion to my project was more than I could ever ask for, but somehow, this time I was a bit bummed. The moon? Really? I looked at her sceptically. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to know how she made him say that, and even if I did, it was not vital information to the case; him disliking the moon had nothing to do with insan— or wait a second. Hadn’t I heard something like this in history? Why was Iruka’s voice so boring? Alright, so… moon and… lunatic? Lunatic? Luna—

Lunacy! As in mad! As in crazy; my favourite new nickname for Sasuke!

Lunacy… Luna—… Luna!

Yes! Luna; the Greek word for moon! Lunacy, like moon-crazy! Sasuke was a lunatic! It made sense! The harvest moon!... Okay, so maybe that didn’t have anything to do with it, but the fact remained that moon and crazy walks hand in hand! So Sasuke hated the moon and that meant he was a nutter! A crazy bastard in need of psychiatric help! Awesome! It sure seemed as if Sakura had stumbled upon something great. Great like The Great Wall of China! Maybe this was the big break-through!



“Are you sure?” I asked my pink-haired friend. I was feeling excited and apparently so was she if her facial expression was anything to go by. A radiant smile crossed her lips and so did that gleam in her eyes.



“Yes, I’m positive! I asked him if he preferred having a romantic dinner in a small Italian restaurant or if he’d rather sit outside, in the moonlight, holding hands, and that’s when he said it; I hate the moon. That’s what he said!”



“Awesome!” I exclaimed and would have hugged her, if only there hadn’t been a table between us. I really had no idea why she’d asked him about romantic dinners and holding hands in the moonlight, but I did ask. I suppose girls thought about that kind of stuff. I briefly wondered why she hadn’t asked me. Maybe she was better friends with Sasuke. But he didn’t have any friends, right? I never saw them hanging out. Whatever, perhaps she’d ask me later some time.



But then her phone had rang and she’d rushed off somewhere. I hadn’t been listening to her explanation. Girl stuff. Whatever.



So now I had to figure out why Sasuke hated the moon. Maybe that would explain why he’d cut out that face in the picture. If he’d been the one doing it, that is. I pondered asking the oracle again, but figured he was tired of me.



“There are things in this world we’ll never understand”



What the hell had he meant by that? Well duh, the pyramids obviously. What the hell was up with them? Did they have to put dead people in cones filled with gold? Like, wasn’t a hole in the ground enough?



But I don’t think he meant the pyramids. Had Sasuke even been to Egypt? No, it had to be something else. But what? Was I supposed to think outside the box? Or maybe the answer was closer than I thought? I didn’t understand Sasuke. Was he the key to the problem? No, Sasuke was the problem. He was strange. I had to know why. Was Sasuke himself the answer? Was I supposed to unravel the Uchiha knot? Like the Gordian knot? But didn’t Alexander just chop that off with a sword? I wasn’t supposed to stab Sasuke, was I? Nah, killing people usually didn’t solve anything. Like, what if Gandalf had killed Gollum in Moria? Then Frodo and Sam wouldn’t have made it to Mordor! Okay, so they wouldn’t have encountered a killer spider either, but that was beside the point.



Argh! Jesus Christ! How was I supposed to figure anything out when all I did was asking myself new questions? Thinking wouldn’t get me anywhere. No, what I had to do was take action. Do something. Be active. Solve the mystery. But not like Miss Marple or Poirot or so. They thought way too much. I had to ask question and… well, demand answers!



Should I ask Sasuke? Would he even tell me anything? Of course he wouldn’t; he’d just try to stab me with a pencil.



The bastard…



Speaking of which, sometimes sitting at a table all by yourself can be a bit awkward. People might think you have no friends. Or that you’re one of the weird kids with no fiends! That’s even worse.



But at that moment, I didn’t really have time to think about such trifle things as having no friends. I had other things on my mind, such as how to get Sasuke to tell me stuff that he probably didn’t want to tell me in the first place for example. But just because I thought so didn’t necessarily mean everyone else had to think the same; apparently someone thought my solitude might pose an inconvenience to me since a looming shadow emerged from behind me.



I just knew the first time I saw him that he’d be nothing but trouble. Just the way he looked at me had basically meant that something would go to hell. And right then, I wished he was.



“Hello” the new boy, Sai, said and stared at me. Sure, I was freaked out, but I’d never show that to him; not in a million years. That’s why I hastily stood up and gave him a superior look. Okay, so maybe I didn’t have to hastily stand up, but I figured I’d look more intimidating that way. Kind of like a cat hissing and burrowing up.



But I hadn’t thought about what I was going to say, so I stood there for a while seizing him up. He appeared to be completely oblivious to my threatening stance however. That felt a bit demeaning… which totally ruined the purpose of the threatening look. Then I got a bit annoyed at the lack of response, but figured he either was about to crap in his pants or punch me in the face.



I seemed, however, to have been mistaken since he did neither. I hadn’t been that far off though. Not that it could remove the sudden ache in my abdomen. And I’m not talking about the broken-heart kind of ache either, or the pain of having to pay for your groceries. My breath caught in my throat and I clutched my stomach. I might even have stumbled a few steps backwards; I didn’t really notice since my world went blurry there for a few seconds.



Damn, that guy could throw a punch!



“What the hell!” I wheezed out, almost falling over in pain. What was he on? Steroids? How could one punch be so… painful? And what sucked even more as the fact the no one seemed to have noticed it. I couldn’t believe it! I was dying, and no one noticed. How was that possible?



“Oh I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” Asshole! He didn’t even sound sorry. What the hell was his problem? You didn’t just go around punching people without apparent reason! Retarded twat! “Hurt me? You could’ve fucking killed me! What the hell is your problem?” As I said this, his zombie features seemed to soften a bit and what could have been mistaken for a sad look came upon him. I knew better though. He was probably trying to prevent laughing his ass off! I didn’t even wait for a response before I assumed my fighting stance. He seemed unperturbed by my obvious intent of hitting him just as hard as he’d punched me, which just made it that much easier to make that blow to his zombie-face.



What I hadn’t expected, however, was his reaction…



“Uzumaki!”



…Or to be honest, lack thereof; he hadn’t even tried to prevent the punch. And, now that I got a closer look, he didn’t even seemed to be hurt.



“Uzumaki! Stop that immediately!”



His face was just as zombie as it had been five seconds ago. Just as—



“Uzumaki Naruto! What exactly are you doing?!” I gave Iruka a confused frown and was just about to explain that Sai was a zombie who wanted to eat my soul. I never managed to get that far though. “You are aware of the fact that it’s not, under any circumstances, allowed to hit another student?”



“But he—“



“No buts Naruto! Come with me!” Iruka angrily yelled right in my left ear and proceeded by grabbing my collar and drag me away towards what I assumed was the principal’s office.



That kind of sucked.



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:)