Broke Straight Guys

Broke Straight Guys

Man… This was either the worst or best weekend for me to decide to update ever… I mean, And:Reboot and Sweet Tooth and Hunger all updated? Check the skies, there must be a blue moon out!

0o0

Big Stingers and Dark Meat

0o0

There were things to be done before they could venture elsewhere. Laundry, for starters, as none of the clothes in their current location fit the guest. Most of the host’s garments would probably look like someone had tried to force Barbie clothes on a G.I. Joe. Not a pretty sight. Afterwards, they cleaned up their kitchen mess and watched part of a movie on TV while they waited for their things to run their cycle in the dryer. It was one of those trashy Lifetime flicks where some girl dated the guy that everyone liked, but he turned out to be a total douchebag who cheated on her with her best friend and then got her pregnant and she had to drop out of school and a good third of it all was acted out with dewy eyes and cheesy dialogue. They found it amusing and while alcohol-driven banter would have made it better still, Gaara had a strict rule about not drinking—even beer—before five PM. Besides, he was a bit hung over from last night, though it was nothing that a bit of water and ibuprofen couldn’t fix.

On the same couch they watched the bad movie, the now dry clothes were folded and Naruto rejoiced at having clean things to wear, regardless of the fact that they were the ones he’d worn last night. He got dressed without bothering to take a shower, operating on what he found to be quite logical: he was going to get sweaty all over again, so why go to the trouble? He did, however, sneak a bit of Gaara’s mouthwash because he didn’t want to have his breath smelling like he’d been munching on a fresh turd. Shaving was considered, but a man’s razor was something personal. So he let the stubble be for now, figuring that women dug that sort of thing anyway and met Gaara at the door.

Before they could enact the plans they’d briefly discussed, Naruto had to stop by his apartment to pick up a few things. They took Gaara’s car, a yellow Volkswagen Beetle that sent the blonde into peals of laughter upon sight. He had been expecting a Miata, but this absolutely took the cake. Somber Gaara looked totally out of place in this car, so he laughed until he cried and had a nasty stomach cramp. Gaara responded by giving him the silent treatment the entire way to the apartment building while Enya crooned through the stereo. So what if his car was lemon yellow and the most unmanly vehicle on the face of the planet? He loved it like it was his own child. Plus he didn’t have to shell out money on subway passes and cab fares. Owning a car in this city was a privilege, dammit!

They arrived at the building and made their way up to the sixth floor. Naruto brought out a set of keys that he unlocked his door—number seven—and opened it to allow them inside, where they were immediately greeted by the other resident who was parked firmly on the couch enjoying the machine he’d wasted their rent money on.

“Behold the triumphant return of the butt bandits! Did you have fun getting the shish-kabob treatment?”

“Shut up, Sasuke!” Naruto chucked his shoe at the brunette, casually tossing the other by the door. “My butt is an exit, not an entrance!”

“Yeah, whatever. Tell that to the guy who was packing your fudge last night.” He looked at Gaara. “What’s Nike doing here?”

“Nike? Like the shoe?” What did athletic footwear made by the labor and tears of Chinese children have to do with Gaara?

“It’s my nickname around the Broke Straight Guys office.” One that he thought he’d shaken, he mentally added to himself.

“Is he who you got partnered with for your shoot?” Sasuke was mildly impressed. Nike was a skittish little thing. He would’ve figured that he would’ve ran like a bat out of hell as soon as he caught a glimpse of Naruto. The idiot must have done something right.

“Like you don’t know, porn-boy!” Naruto sneered.

“I don’t. Just because I act in the stuff doesn’t mean that I actually watch it. I’m not gay.”

“That reminds me, how the hell aren’t you? I asked around and they said you’ve done like, ten videos for them! You’ve fucked guys ten times! Ten times, you bastard!”

“Twelve,” Gaara corrected him. He’d heard talk of the Uchiha around the office. In fact, the studio had been planning on partnering the two of them up if Naruto hadn’t worked out. He did his research, talked to the guy’s former conquests—out of the seven straight men that’d filmed with him, six were now gay—and deduced that he was a damn good lover. While he had missed out on the allegedly sensational experience, he was glad to have gained a comrade instead. It was probably better that way, especially since there was some reason he hadn’t wanted to sleep with him…

“Twelve times! And you kiss them! With tongue! I didn’t even do that! How do you explain that?”

“The pay is good and you get more when you do more things. Isn’t that why you fucked him?” Sasuke’s attitude was infuriatingly cool. But he was a sadistic bastard, he was always like that.

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Unless he was the one screwing you.” Sasuke took joy in his roommate’s rage, setting his controller on his lap. “And you liked it so much that you did it again.”

“I’m no one’s bitch, you bastard! We went drinking!”

Now Sasuke looked hurt. He loved alcohol. “Why didn’t you ask me to go with you? I could’ve done with some bar hopping.”

“I did ask you! You were too busy playing your damn game to listen!”

“I thought you were asking if the milk expired.”

“How do you get—never mind. Just forget it. I’m only here to get my stuff.” Naruto shook his head. When he got worked up, that meant Sasuke was winning.

“You two going on another date?”

“It’s not a date! I’m taking him to the gym to box!”

“You never said anything about boxing.” Gaara wasn’t about to get in a ring and let himself be knocked around by some brute. He was no masochist. “I’m not a big sports person.”

“What a shock!” Sasuke feigned surprise.

“Shut up, Sasuke! No one asked for your opinion!” Naruto wished he had something else to throw at his roommate. “There’re other things you can do, Gaara. I mean we’re a little place so we don’t have a pool or tennis court or anything, but I think you’ll find something to amuse yourself.”

“Check out guys or something.” Sasuke returned to his game.

“You act like the only thing I’ve got on my mind is satisfying my libido.” Now he remembered why he hadn’t wanted to get shagged by Sasuke. He was a total asshole.

“We’re men, for god’s sake. Isn’t that what we all want?”

“Make yourself comfortable, Gaara. It shouldn’t take me more than a couple of minutes to get my gear.” Naruto disappeared into his bedroom.

Gaara took a seat on the dark blue couch beside Sasuke. Awkwardness filled the space between them. Conversation might alleviate it. He tried, “How did you ever get into doing—”

“None of your business.” He mowed down a line of aliens onscreen with a turret gun.

“Sorry.”

“I’m glad you finally got laid, Nike. Men need that in their lives.” Sasuke paused the game long enough to pat him on the back. “If you were a girl, I’d do you.” He mulled over his words and nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, you would be the type who knows when to keep their mouth shut. Totally fuckable.”

“Thanks, I think?” He suspected that was the closest the brunette ever got to complimenting someone. He supposed the next thing he could theoretically say would be ‘right back at ya’, but he didn’t want to get punched. So, he kept his mouth shut, just as Sasuke predicted he would.

There was a short silence between them, broken again by Sasuke. “Naruto is an idiot, but he’s a good guy. I’ve known him since sixth grade. If he wants to make you happy, he’ll do things he won’t want to for your sake. I want you to know that so you don’t find out on your own later. You better not take advantage of that. You see, I don’t appreciate it when people fuck with my friends. Basically, I’m saying ‘don’t be a dick.’”

“Okay…”

“And if you see that fruitcake Neji, tell him I hope he gets testicular cancer.”

“Sure?” It would be a message he was determined to not forward. Besides, he’d only met Neji in passing a couple of times. There was something about his attitude that just never clicked with him. Neji was a total narcissist, one who flaunted what he had and flirted with almost any male who walked upright with the shameless persistence of a dog in heat. Perhaps Sasuke’s hatred for him was spawned from being another hapless victim of Neji’s attentions.

“Who’s a fruitcake, Sasuke? You better not be talking shit to Gaara.” Naruto reentered the living room with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder.

“Whatever.”

“You’re such a dick, Sasuke.”

“You’re a dick.”

“You’re a dick.”

“You’re a dick.”

“You’re a dick.”

“You’re a dick.”

“You’re a dick.”

“You’re a dick.”

Gore spattered the screen and Naruto nodded approval. “Nice headshot.”

“Thanks.”

The three men continued to watch the game until Naruto said, “You’re a dick.”

“You’re a dick.”

“You’re a dick.”

“You’re a dick.”

“You’re the biggest dick to ever live and I hope your children are hideously ugly.” Naruto smirked triumphantly. Today he’d gotten the last word in. Sometimes the battles could go on for hours if neither of them had anything better to do.

Sasuke was over it already. “What are we doing for dinner?”

“I have a coupon for the Iron Wok. Two free crab rangoon or egg rolls with any meal.”

“Go for the rangoon. I’ll have my usual.” Oh yes, tonight was definitely a beef and broccoli kind of night.

“I’ll be back around seven.”

“You have work?”

“Yeah. Not all of us have our parents paying for a higher education.”

“Up yours. I’ve told you a million times to go to community college.”

“Can’t. Have fun finishing your term paper.”

“My paper?” Sasuke stared blankly at the screen for a moment until things clicked into place. “Dammit!”

While Sasuke saved his game and cursed up a storm, Naruto and Gaara left, the redhead pondering the interaction that he’d just borne witness to. They’d insulted each other and then acted like it hadn’t happened at all. How strange. Maybe it was something like a mating ritual between straight men.

Once more they piled into the Beetle and Naruto provided surprisingly accurate directions to the small gym he volunteered at. Gaara killed the engine and was about to get out when a man exited the building, bringing with him the easygoing strains of a thumping bass line that filled him with equal parts dread and disgust.

Boom bye bye

Inna batty bwoy head

Rude bwoy no promote no nasty man

Dem haffi dead

“No.”

“No what?”

“I’m not getting out.”
Naruto was surprised by how tightly Gaara was gripping the steering wheel, knuckles plainly visible beneath his skin. “Why not?”

“I’m not going into that place if that’s what you enjoy listening to.”

“Reggae?” Hew wasn’t the biggest fan of reggae either, but he still could tolerate it.

“No! This song! Don’t you know what it’s about?”

The accusatory way Gaara said it made him think that he was supposed to. “…No?”

“It’s about going around killing gay people! I’m not getting out!”

Oh. Well that made sense. “Gaara, I swear we don’t make a habit of listening to this stuff. Sometimes people will make a playlist on their iPods and bring them in so we have something to listen to while we’re working out. No one bothers to check what’s on them before we play them.”

“I mean, I don’t want to come off as…” Gaara sighed, massaging the spot at the base of his neck that had started to tense up in nervousness. “I don’t know, but I’m not asking for special treatment or anything, I’m not that type of guy, I just—”

“Don’t sweat it. I got your back, bro. I’ll tell them to switch it with someone else’s.”

“Thank you.”

Buju Banton’s voice faded away and it was soon replaced by something he’d never heard before. The blonde construction worker beckoned at him from within and he left his car, feeding the meter before entering. Naruto hadn’t been kidding about the size, it seemed to be only one large room with a stout hallway near the back that led off in three different directions. A boxing ring was the central focus and two men were presently sparring in it. There were a few exercise machines alongside weight benches and rack that lined the walls on one half and the other, the one that held the ring, was bare except for a pair of speed bags complimented by a triad of heavy bags.

“If you go on this side…”

Naruto pointed at the boxing half, where the floor was covered with large, squishy mats akin to the ones Gaara had seen wrestlers use in high school. That certainly brought back some memories. One year he’d gone to every single match to scope out what exactly all this was about and he’d soon learned that real wrestling looked a lot more like two guys trying to screw the living daylights out of one another than the things he’d briefly seen in the WWE. Some of the guys were fairly good-looking, to boot. What a delicious year that had been…

“...and there’s where the bathroom and the nurse’s office are.” Naruto chuckled sheepishly, discomfort clear on his face. “Please don’t’ do anything that gets you sent there. It’s where my ex-girlfriends works.”

“I’m not guaranteeing anything but I think I can stay out of trouble for a while.” Gaara flinched as a particularly potent punch from one of the boxers floored the other. “I’d be more concerned about you.”

“Eh, I got a strong jaw.” Naruto waved off his concerns with a cheeky grin. “If you want to join in, I’ve got a spare mouth guard. There are extra gloves too.”

“I’ll have to pass this time.” Those guys would murder him in three seconds flat.

“Mr. Uzumaki!”

A group of kids came up to him with joy present in their eyes, trying to downplay their excitement. Gaara was less than enthused. He was bad with kids, even though a couple of them were only a few years younger than he was himself. Maybe it was because he’d grown up next to a family of religious nuts whose kid wasn’t as much of a freak as his parents and liked to talk to him when he got home from school, but their conversations eventually ended when he came out and they all freaked out, fearing his gayness was contagious. They moved about a month later. He wondered whatever happened to that kid.

“I’ve been working on my right hook,” the sole female member offered, cheeks pink with a blush.

“Awesome. You’ll have to show it to me later.”

“Miss Sakura helped me with it a lot.”

Naruto’s smile began to decay. He knew he had to be crazy to not be completely over her yet, but still…

“Moegi, you moron! They broke up! He doesn’t want to hear about her!”

Gaara felt his stomach lurch. He knew that voice too well for his liking. If he timed it right, he could make a break for it and no one would be the wiser, except maybe Naruto.

“Don’t be a stranger, Gaara. Come meet the kids.”

Sometimes, he really hated that guy.

“You!” The flabbergasted teen glowered at the unexpected guest, seeking an explanation from Naruto. “What’s that faggot doing here?”

“Watch your mouth, Konohamaru,” Naruto said sharply.

“What? I’m calling him what he is! Why is he here? He’ll just try to hit on everyone or try something funny with one of us!”

“Sorry, but I’m not interested in beady-eyed brats with stupid ponytails,” Gaara sniped back at the teen.

“Be the bigger man, Gaara.”

Konohamaru hated it when he was ignored. “You still haven’t told me why he’s here!”

“He’s here because he’s my friend and I invited him. Do you have a problem with that?”

“No…” Konohamaru gave the redhead the nastiest look he could manage.

“Go do some weight reps, kiddo. You’re losing muscle mass, I can tell.” Naruto pinched the boy’s upper arm, finding flab where it had not been before.

“Why should that matter? I’m not a bodybuilder…”

“No, but less muscle means that you’re losing the strength behind your punches too. Ten reps, sets of five.”

“Udon, come spot me.”

Another boy of the group, this one wearing clunky black glasses, nodded and shuffled after him. He looked like one of those kids who did Calculus for fun and owned a pocket protector that doubled as a protractor. But then Gaara looked at everything below his neck and the circuit board in his brain fried magnificently, spitting sparks whilst electricity pirouetted about his skull. The boy looked like a magazine collage made by a drunk. That head did not, in this reality or any other, belong on that body. Nerds did not have buns of steel or arms like an Olympic gymnast. This was wrong in so many ways, practically against the laws of nature itself. Soon he would be sent into paroxysms that rendered him writhing on the floor and foaming at the mouth if he didn’t wake up from this odd dream.

Naruto noticed his bewilderment and enlightened him. “Udon is on his school’s swim team. Says that he wears glasses ‘cause contacts are a pain in the ass—well, I’m paraphrasing, he has this weird thing against cursing. Oh, and his name’s not Udon, people just call him that, but I’m not sure why. Inside joke, I guess.”

Naruto rambled on about the history of the gym and when he first started volunteering, glancing every so often at the nurse’s office, praying that he wouldn’t see her today either. He’d been on a hot streak, but he never knew whether or not today would be the day. The day when he would talk to her for the first time since he’d been dumped. What would he say? What would she say? Would she be compelled to punch him? He distinctly remembered she liked doing that to him.

“Well, feel free to do whatever you like,” Naruto concluded.

Gaara nodded his understanding and began to wander about, taking it all in as Naruto got into the ring. He’d never been to a gym of any sorts before. They weren’t his cup of tea. Too many morons who couldn’t see past their biceps.

“Hey, hey, you! Yeah, you!”

They had all the sophistication of an ape and he loathed the in-your-face approach they favored. But you couldn’t ignore them. Violence usually ensued. And Gaara didn’t like dealing with violent men, especially when the odds were in favor of them being amped up on steroids.

“Can I help you?” Gaara faced his admirer and felt all his color drain away. The man made Schwarzenegger in his glory days look small. His arms couldn’t even rest at his sides completely. The bigger the man, the more stubborn they were as well. He’d

have a hell of a time getting this monkey off his back.

“You new here? I know you are, ‘cause I’d remember a body like yours.”

“Naruto invited me.” Bringing him into the conversation might not be the smartest idea, but it was worth a try. He seemed to have some pull around here. Having someone like that on your side always helped.

“You’re one of his buddies? He’s a pretty cool dude.”

“Um…” Why wouldn’t he leave him be? Could he not see that he wasn’t interested? Gaara rather wished that Naruto would intercede like the gallant prince of storybook tales, but the blonde was busy dodging punches.

“You got a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.” He grinned like he’d said the most marvelously witty thing to ever come out of anyone’s mouth in the history of time.

Time to kill this conversation. “Okay, yeah… I have to go do this one thing… Way over there… By myself.”

“So you want to do it like cavemen?”

Before Gaara could ask what that meant, a ham-sized fist came down on his crown and all went blissfully black as the oaf prepared to drag him back to his cave.

On the other hand, Naruto was doing quite well for himself. He was sparring with his favorite partner and he had worked up a good sweat. All was right with the world.

“Mr. Uzumaki, your friend is getting kidnapped!”

And as he turned to seek out the perpetrator of this crime, his opponent instinctively seized the opportunity and a mighty force collided with his jaw and darkness claimed him as well.

I0I0I0I0I

Gaara groaned as he tried to lift his foggy head, each part of him feeling as if it was made from lead. The scent of the air was the first thing he noticed, sweat and something pungent. He saw a pair of green eyes peering down upon him with professional concern, eyes so much like the ones that rested in his sockets. Pale, creamy skin, a mirror of his own face, but the lips were full and sensual, the cheeks dimpled in a relieved smile. Long, dark lashes flickered as she blinked, brushing her strawberry blonde hair out of her face.

The woman set the smelling salts on the desk behind her. “Can you hear me?”

“Yeah.” Gaara shifted and felt another body beside him, Naruto trying to recover from his own assault.

“You know what day it is?”

Gaara informed her, keeping an eye on Naruto. Judging on what he’d said earlier, this was the infamous ex-girlfriend that he was trying so hard to avoid.

“And you’re fine, right?” She addressed Naruto directly.

“Yeah…” Naruto sat up and shook his head a couple of times. “What happened?”

“Danny tried to kidnap your friend and Killa knocked you out. What day is it?”

Naruto answered the question, suppressing the well of sadness that sprung up in him when he looked at her. Sad or not, he didn’t want to be tongue-tied. “You cut your hair.”

Sakura smiled, toying with the newly shortened locks. “That’s right.”

“But I loved your hair!” Naruto griped. “What was wrong with it?”

“Easier to take care it of this way. Plus, I felt like a change.”

“You became a lesbian, isn’t that change enough?”

“You’re lucky your friend is here or I’d give you another lump on your head, idiot.” Sakura gave him a love tap anyway and appraised Gaara. “I don’t know how you can put up with him. Do you want to press charges on Danny?”

“No, I think I’ll manage.”

“Hey, Naruto. You alright?”

The source of the silky baritone voice nearly made Gaara’s jaw drop. Another muscular man, with a build similar to his friend’s, but instead of a healthy tan, his skin was rich and dark, shimmering lightly with sweat. His hair, braided into simple cornrows, was bleached blonde, like his moustache and goatee. A diamond stud glittered in one ear, accenting his stylish glasses. On his left shoulder was a tattoo of a vicious looking wasp with a massive stinger. Perfectly proportioned from his head to his toes, the guy was a force to be reckoned with. He was having thoughts that he shouldn’t be having in the presence of his other crush while the two men chatted, struck dumb by this appearance. They looked good together, something straight out of his fantasies. The three-way they could have would be pure hotness in epic magnitude. Being sandwiched between those two? Yes, please!

Udon broke up the perfect moment by sticking his nerdy little head in and saying, “Miss Sakura, Moegi sprained her hand. Can you come take a look at it?”

“Well, it was nice talking to you all.” She retrieved an ice pack from the mini-refrigerator on her desk and hurried out.

The mystery man checked the clock on the wall. “I gotta go too, Naruto. See you again soon?”

“Same bat time, same bat place.”

Naruto stood and gave him a short manhug, then watched him walk out. Gaara rose to his feet, waiting until he was absolutely sure that the man was gone. He sighed dreamily and wrapped his arms around Naruto’s bicep, resting his head on the blonde’s shoulder as he tried to preserve the image of the stranger as perfectly as possible. He wouldn’t need his magazines to make himself happy tonight.

“Who was that gorgeous man? You have to tell me.” Gaara heard himself purr at his own fantasies and didn’t mind. “Mmm, yes. I’d let him bend me over the kitchen sink and have his dirty way with me.”

Naruto stared at him with a look of horrified curiosity. Emphasis on horrified.

“Dude.” To get his point across, he reiterated. “Dude. TMI.”

“Tell me his name, Naruto…”

“It’s Killerbee. From the tattoo. Could you stop that? It’s kinda freaking me out.” That was the understatement of the century.

Gaara didn’t seem to hear him. “He’s single, right?”

“I don’t know. I think a better question would be ‘is he gay?’ And I’m seventy-eight percent sure he’s not. Ask him or something.”

Didn’t people know anything nowadays? “It’s not proper to do that.”

“It’s also not proper for you to be clinging on me.”

“How often do you see him with women?”

“I hardly see him outside of the gym and the only girl in his life I know of right now is his sister. Seriously though, can I have my arm back?”

“Should I talk to him?”

“Um… Yes?” How the hell was he supposed to know?

“Come on.” Gaara started forward, tugging Naruto along after him.

“Why are you dragging me into this?”

“Moral support.”

They caught up with Killerbee, who was prepared to leave, a young woman who was unmistakably his sister at his side. Her lips pursed in disdain at their sudden approach.

“Hey, Naruto. What’s up? Feel like hanging out or something?”

Gaara spoke up. “Actually, I wanted to introduce myself. I’m Gaara.”

Killerbee’s lips parted to reveal two rows of movie-star white teeth, extending his hand in an attempt for a shake. “Nice to meet you, Gaara. People call me Killerbee.”

“You seem a little familiar… Are you a friend of Dorothy?”

Killerbee’s brow rose, appraising the lithe man. “I am.”

“Well then, perhaps we should get to know one another better. Any friend of hers is a friend of mine.”

“Got anything planned for next Wednesday?”

“As a matter of fact, I don’t.”

The girl beside him cleared her throat, trying to subdue the fires burning in her molten eyes. Perfect mixture of green and brown, they were nearly gold. “What are you talking about? You said that you would come home on Wednesday.”

“Karui… How many times have I told you that I’m not going home?” She simply didn’t get it.

“It’s Kareema! Don’t call me by that childish nickname.”

“I’m sure you remember my lovely sister, Naruto. In case you were wondering, she’s still one hundred percent available.”

“You are impossible!” The fires in Karui’s eyes raged. “Mama and Papa will take you back if you make the effort!”

Killerbee shrugged nonchalantly. “Maybe I feel like being lazy.”

“You are an imbecile! This is why Raakim has always been the favored son!”

“By the way, how is Rai doing?”

“I despise you.” Karui hissed, the amber flames smoldering. “Go on, then! Lay in the bed that you have made for yourself! See if I care!”

She stormed out with the ferocity of a hurricane and Killerbee scratched the back of his neck, gazing upon the spot where she had been. “Sheesh. Still uptight as ever. She needs to get laid. Naruto, that reminds me—”

“Not gonna happen. Why do you always try to set me up with your crazy sister?”

“Because you seem capable of managing her.”

“I don’t know if you heard or not, but my last girlfriend is a lesbian now. Are you going to wish that on your sister?” Naruto had given thoughts about Karui—or rather, Kareema—and him getting together. They weren’t particularly long or detailed thoughts because no matter how often they started with sweet, sweet lovin’, they almost ended with him getting horrendously emasculated in one way or another. Karui wasn’t big on physical contact. Especially when it was with men.

“I just want her life to be full of happiness. I’m seeking my own, so why shouldn’t she?” Killerbee returned his attention to Gaara. “Naruto has my number. See you later.”

“Bye.”

And then his dark beauty was gone, likely in pursuit of his cantankerous sister. Was it wrong to be forming a new crush when the one he was already nursing was standing at his side? Right now it didn’t seem proper, but he was sure he wouldn’t regret it in the long run.

“Well, at least you get someone to hang out with now.”

“He’s gay.”

“What? How can you tell?”

“He said that he was a friend of Dorothy.”

“Who’s Dorothy?”

“You’ll understand someday.”

“I’m not sure I want to.” Naruto retrieved his cell phone from his pocket and checked the time. “Dammit, it’s almost time for me to go to work.”

“Do you want me to give you a ride?”

“No, it’s practically right down the street. I’ll be fine.”

“Alright.”

“Sorry you had such a sucky time. Tell Tenten I’ll be giving her a call soon if you see her.”

Pang! There was his bad run of romances plucking at his heartstrings again, playing him like a virtuoso. Men who couldn’t love him back were nothing but trouble. Giving Killerbee a try wouldn’t be so bad. In fact, he was kind of looking forward to seeing him again in all his glory, the vicious wasp tattooed on his shoulder flexing with his every move, stinger retracting and growing. Getting stung might be one of the best things that had happened to him in his life. So he asked Naruto for the number and returned home, planning for his upcoming date.

I0I0I0I0I

Konohamaru did his best to convince Naruto to stay longer, but there wasn’t much to be done about it. Real work took precedence over volunteering, no matter how noble the cause was. He couldn’t pay for an apartment with good deeds. That he could understand. But something had changed about the man he looked up to. Making friends with a fag like Gaara? Something about that wasn’t right.

Taking steps to remedy the problem would be necessary. His values were already being infringed upon when he had to see him at work all the time. Continuance of the friendship between the two men would only lead to Naruto’s ruin. Nothing was precisely wrong about being tolerant towards those people, but to claim one as a friend? That made him just that much closer to becoming one himself!

“Udon, we gotta get that guy outta the picture. He’s totally going to mess up Mr. Uzumaki. I can’t let that happen to him. Not Mr. Uzumaki.”

Udon sneezed, adjusted his glasses, and watching his plotting friend chew his knuckles until they were bloody.

0o0

And now, a message for those of you who are steadily WTFing over the progress in Gaara’s love life.

It wouldn’t be fun if I didn’t create a little turmoil, now would it?

I think this is an ‘insert evil laugh here’ moment.

Feel free to send me as many bewildered or flaming comments as you please.

Until next time…

~YamiTenshi~