Entropy

The real estate search went badly from the start. To begin with, Konoha had no realtors, and the classified ads in the

paper were laughable. There were just too many secrets in a secret village to promote a healthy, truth-based advertising

service. As Kakashi and Sasuke discovered, there were really only two ways to start an apartment hunt there: either one

wandered around looking for “for rent” signs, or one already knew someone who had a friend who knew someone that had

a place to rent out. Networking. Unfortunately, most of the people who had friends who knew someone did not want to

rent to Kakashi and Sasuke. They would have taken Kakashi on his own, but Sasuke, being who he was and having done

what he’d done, was blacklisted.

They might have petitioned the Hokage for some sort of government-subsidized housing, but Kakashi suspected Naruto

wasn’t inclined to give Sasuke any more leeway. He might not have farmed Sasuke out to another country like the rest of

the prisoners, but he hadn’t swooped in to rescue him, either. A Hokage must be firm, fair, and objective--all of which

Naruto had never been when it came to Sasuke. Naruto had not, to the best of Kakashi's knowledge, spoken directly to

Sasuke since before his attack on Konoha. This was probably for the best: pent-up releases of emotion erupting in Kyuubi

tails were not something the village could afford on any level. Kakashi really was better off hunting for an apartment

without the Hokage’s direct influence.

Their prospects grew fewer every day, especially once it got out that they were searching for a place. It also didn’t help

that Sasuke was useless at this sort of thing. No. He was worse than useless. When they were lucky enough to go see an

apartment--not having been turned down at first contact--Sasuke tended to stand in the middle of the living room and

frown. It looked as if he were contemplating which method of destruction he should use on the building. Kakashi didn’t

know what Sasuke was actually thinking. Maybe he wasn’t thinking at all. Perhaps he didn’t like the paint color, or the

view, or the people they encountered in the halls. All Sasuke did was stand there with his arms crossed over his chest. He

never actually voiced an opinion.

After a few fruitless apartment viewings, Kakashi began asking Sasuke questions to try and draw him out. The attempts

at conversation also allowed Kakashi to vent his own frustrations with the search. After living in the same apartment for so

long, he’d forgotten how hard it was to find a place fitting all a person’s needs. It got infinitely harder when he had to

account for Sasuke as well. Did Sasuke have a deep hatred of carpeting? Would he feel like gouging his eyes out if a

bathroom were tiled entirely in baby pink? What about the lack of a balcony or the proximity of neighbors? It felt like he

was piling up a bunch of trivial concerns, but, Kakashi reminded himself, it was all for the betterment of Sasuke. If a leaky

kitchen faucet or seeing himself surrounded by pink in the mirror would push Sasuke further from recovery, he shouldn't

be living there. Kakashi wasn't going to push him to live in an unsuitable house, either. He shivered minutely,

remembering the Mangekyou’s power. He'd ached for days afterward. Best not to repeat that experience. It was, after all,

one of the less dangerous things Sasuke could do, and there was no way of predicting what else he might do when

disturbed.

“What do you think about the five flights of stairs we just did Sasuke?”

Sasuke didn't say anything. As he made a perfunctory circuit around the main living area, Kakashi could see the sweat

that gathered at the nape of his neck. It was gratifying, in a darkly funny way, to see he'd worked up a sweat. It was also a

bit distracting. Kakashi focused his attention back on the landlord currently extolling the virtues of his fine apartment

building.

“Did you hear that Sasuke?" said Kakashi. "The bathroom is a communal one for the whole floor. Wonderful, don’t you

think, bonding with all our new neighbors and attending to our personal hygiene at the same time?”

Kakashi directed a pleased face at the landlord and nodded politely. The idea actually made him want to vomit, but he

kept up his act to further prod Sasuke. Channeling a bit of Gai's earnest cheerfulness was inspired. He could tell Sasuke was

annoyed with him--and held the same regard for the aforementioned bathroom--though the look on his face might be

confused with a sour stomach. That, of course, depended on the observer's level of acquaintance with Sasuke. Kakashi

knew him too well to be fooled by that expression.

“I’m almost impressed with that mold colony over there. It’s come almost six feet already on that wall,” Kakashi

said.

He scratched his head and craned his neck.

“I’m not an expert, but it looks like it’s headed toward the kitchen.”

He didn't even need two eyes to see that this place was rotten to the core. If this farce didn't force Sasuke to speak his

mind, Kakashi wasn't sure what else might be enough. The landlord asked him a question, and Kakashi gritted his teeth

and counted to three before responding.

“Why yes, that is a lovely view of the dump. Oh? They incinerate at night? Ah, I can just imagine the warm and

comforting glow.”

The second bedroom of this two-bedroom apartment was hardly bigger than a closet, and Kakashi made sure Sasuke

knew that he, Kakashi, would not be sleeping in it.

“It will be like a nice underground nest, don’t you think? You should be nice and cozy there…”

Kakashi cut himself off when he realized he was about to compare the apartment to one of Orochimaru's hidden bases.

That was probably going too far. He noted the way Sasuke was clenching and unclenching one hand. Kakashi could almost

smell the chakra building up. Correction. He had gone further than too far. Kakashi made nice, very quickly, with the

landlord and got Sasuke out as soon as he could manage, grabbing him by the wrist and activating the transport jutsu.

They appeared on a quiet roof one street over. He dropped Sasuke's hand before the smoke cleared. He glanced at

Sasuke. Apologizing could come later, when Sasuke wasn't out for his blood. Kakashi prudently headed in the direction of

a training ground. He was certain Sasuke would follow him. An attempted pummeling would do them both good,

especially since neither of them were going on or training for missions these days. Well, to be accurate, Sasuke was a

mission, but he was hardly the same as a field mission. Kakashi sometimes felt this was all a prank played on him by

Naruto, instead of a serious assignment from the Hokage. Not right now, though, with Sasuke's anger lashing at him from

behind as he raced to catch up. Kakashi channeled more chakra into his legs and pushed for more speed.

It felt nice to cut loose. He jumped from roof to roof with fresh air hitting his face. He left Sasuke in the dust. Spending

so much time dancing attendance on Sasuke didn't leave much time for anything else, like training--or any other form of

exercise. Kakashi did some calculations while running. He decided the best training ground for them was a rather derelict

space abutting the forest of death. Kakashi anticipated destruction upon their arrival. He didn’t want to tear up a nice,

frequently used, or, heaven forefend, his favorite, training ground. Really, he didn’t know why so many other people

believed he was a heartless, thoughtless, perverted ninja. Kakashi was thinking about the rest of them all the time. Really

he was. Being heartless, well. Soft-hearted ninja died quickly and messily.

Not that being heartless was any great benefit in the long run. A ninja needed balance, because becoming emotionless

was both damn near impossible and definitively damaging. You turned brittle and broke that way, much like Sasuke. No

matter what anyone else said, Kakashi sometimes thought, deep inside himself, that Sasuke might be beyond repair. But

then, there was Sai, and surely he’d been tampered with beyond anything Itachi could have ever dreamed. Sai couldn’t

even emote with a smile. At least Sasuke felt, even if it was hate and anger. Kakashi concluded that anger was at the

forefront of Sasuke's consciousness, judging by the way he was pushing himself to catch up to Kakashi.

Sasuke might have beaten him to the training ground if he’d bothered to focus that anger, but as it was Kakashi dropped

to the forest floor first. He had enough time to check that the area was clear of other people before Sasuke came in behind

him. Kakashi turned around, saw the Sharingan flash in and out of Sasuke's eyes, felt the way his chakra spiked. Kakashi

took charge of the situation.

“I’ve made you upset," he said. "It’s only fair to give you a free shot. But after that…”

He shrugged and pulled back his hitai-ate.

“I’ll try not to kill you,” said Kakashi.

Kakashi flexed his body, working out the stiffness in his arms and back and shoulders. Even if he apologized now,

Sasuke wouldn't hear it. He rested lightly on the balls of his feet and waited.

Sasuke stood still. He scrutinized Kakashi, as if he expected him to turn into a log or to disappear in a puff of smoke.

Kakashi looked right back. He did not blink.

At length, Sasuke said:

“I never could tell when you were joking.”

And then he attacked.

First off, thank you to yaoi_is_my_antidrug. I'm glad you're responding positively to the story so far!(In fact, I'm quite fond of your work as well, though I haven't yet had the opportunity to drop some reviews in your lap.) I try my best to keep things canon...or, at least, stay true to my interpretation of it.

I suppose parts of this chapter may read as a bit on the farcical side. I know I'm always struggling to bring in the right mix of humor and seriousness, but I hope I've not gone too far in either direction. I've never had the displeasure of viewing an apartment quite that bad. (But I've come close a time or two!)

As always, if you think you see some horrible, tragic, or life-altering mistake in the story, please let me know so I can fix it. I promise I won't throw a fit. thI may want to have a long-winded discussion on the intricacies of grammar, though.