Altering Affection

“887...888...889…”

Lee grunted and paused, arms extended and his body inverted. Lee corrected his balance and held the handstand while he breathed. Gravity was really quite the bitch, Lee couldn’t help but notice.

Sweat pooled on the ground, and Lee watched it drip for a moment before continuing.

“890…” he grunted.

It wasn’t that the other gifts were bad, Lee reflected as he panted and counted out the push-ups. He still thought that gifts made logical sense and that his plans were solid. He didn’t fail at gift giving. Gai-sensei just failed at gift receiving.

Lee did the next ten reps faster to punish himself for thinking badly of his sensei.

After the flower fiasco, Lee took a couple of days to think through his next gift. After killing a small forest with discarded lists of ideas, Lee finally decided to stick with flora. Lee knew that Gai-sensei truly did love his garden, so sending a Hawthorne tree that Gai-sensei could plant seemed like a fantastic and sentimental choice. Lee chose the tree after careful research on the meanings of trees and various plants. Hawthorne trees symbolized love and unity.

Once again, Lee arranged to be in the dojo when the gift arrived. And he watched with a sinking heart as Gai-sensei stared at the tree for a full minute and then ordered Konohamaru to set it against the back of the property – the furthest it could possibly get from Gai-sensei’s house.

“I’ll plant it later,” was all he said about it after that.

He didn’t even read the card, and he didn’t plant the tree for two entire days. Lee was pretty sure if Gai-sensei didn’t feel so guilty about letting green things die, it wouldn’t have gotten planted at all.

“952…” Lee growled.

Lee gave up hope on the plant kingdom at that point and decided to switch tactics. There had to be something Gai-sensei would like. So Lee polled his friends and asked them what the happiest gift would be. Pleased at the response, Lee made notes and took suggestions. Then he set about sending gifts in earnest. Surely one of them would make Gai-sensei smile, read the card, and give Lee the proper atmosphere for declarations of love.

Lee had 25 balloons delivered on Thursday afternoon.

Gai-sensei handed them out in the next class as rewards.

Lee sent a Steiff teddy bear the following Monday.

Gai-sensei grimaced at the innocent stuffed animal and promptly told Lee to put it in the closet in the back of the dojo. He didn’t want to toss it because he could tell it was expensive, but he didn’t think it was “appropriate to leave around.”

It took Lee a week to recover from that emotional blow, but recover he did. After several hours on Ebay, Lee found a signed copy of one of Gai-sensei’s favorite books, (Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) and sent it along with a card.

At least that gift made it to the shelf in the office instead of the bottom of a closet. But Gai-sensei still didn’t read the note.

The final straw, however, came when Lee reverted back to romantic gifts and sent Gai-sensei Belgium chocolates. Lee wrote out a note about love and commitment and put it inside the lid of the box without an envelope. If Gai-sensei just opened the box, he’d see it.

Lee couldn’t bring himself to actually wait around for Gai-sensei to open the final gift, so he left them on the counter with a note that they were for Gai-sensei.

The next day, Gai-sensei presented the chocolates to Lee as a present.

“They were on the counter yesterday, but I don’t enjoy dark chocolate like you do, Lee,” Gai-sensei explained.

“You didn’t even open them?” Lee asked.

“Oh no! I thought you’d want them, and I didn’t want you to think you were getting mere leftovers.” Gai-sensei smiled and ruffled Lee’s hair.

Lee, for his part, did not scream, throw the chocolates in his sensei’s face, nor rip a door of its hinges. And because he desperately wanted to do each of those things, he ran an extra 200 laps around his uncle’s neighborhood the next morning.

“…1000.”

Lee collapsed panting onto the dojo floor. Usually exercise cleared his brain – forced him to think of nothing but straining muscles and getting to the last rep. It put him into his body and the present and didn’t allow for pesky things such as “thoughts” or “doubts.”

But Lee was beside himself with frustration, and he could feel doubt creeping into his brain. What if he just couldn’t get through to his sensei? What if his sensei loved another in secret?

No, Gai-sensei said he wasn’t seeing anyone, and he would never lie to Lee. That was impossible.

…wasn’t it?

“Lee!” Gai called and Lee jumped. Gai pulled the door to the dojo closed and approached the spot darkened by Lee’s intense self-punishment.

Gai laughed. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you. What are you doing in here my most dedicated pupil?”

The warmth in Gai-sensei’s face usually lit Lee up from the inside. It made him feel safe and happy. Usually.

Right now, it made Lee irrationally angry and incredibly…sad.

Lee quickly stood and bowed at the waist. “I apologize, Sensei. I was just finishing the last of my training.”

“Lee, it’s just us so you don’t have to…” Gai paused and shook his head, frowning. “It’s fine that you’re here. Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to-“

“Thank you, Sensei. I apologize most heartily but I must go and prepare to leave. My uncle expects me home soon.” Lee felt almost light-headed at his nearly-rude tone, but he needed to get away from this man right now. He needed…something, but he wasn’t sure what. Renewed vigor? Another plan? Lee didn’t know.

“That’s fine, Lee, I understand,” Gai-sensei said, his voice carefully neutral.

Lee bowed a little deeper and then rose, turned, and tried not to run to the locker room. Once there, he immediately went to his reserved space to gather up his belongings and leave. His uncle did expect him home…there was just no particular time that expectation needed to be met. So it wasn’t a lie, Lee told himself, not really.

Lee stopped short when he saw the box of chocolates lying on the bench. He’d left them there earlier just before he went back into the dojo. Lee stared at them and breathed slowly and deeply. It felt like something inside him was breaking, and it was completely different from a torn muscle or a crushed limb. Lee knew what physical pain felt like. But this was entirely new and entirely…awful.

Sighing, Lee turned and headed for the showers. He couldn’t quite face heading home to brood over everything in his life right now. Besides, he smelled terrible.

Casually stripping out of his pants and Green Dojo t-shirt, Lee entered the shower area and turned on the nearest faucet to let the water warm. The showers consisted of a long row of cubicles designed for privacy from one another but not from the main room. Most people preferred the showers that didn’t have a clear view of the rest of the locker room: the ones on each end of the row. The ones in the middle, therefore, were usually a bit cleaner. Lee liked using those.

Once steam filled the shower cubicle, Lee stepped under the spray and practically moaned as the scalding water hit the muscles in his shoulders and neck. For long, blissful minutes he just stood there, willing the muscles to relax. He concentrated on each muscle group and mentally forced them to loosen; an old post-training exercise. For the first time all day Lee’s mind quieted and Lee let himself enjoy it.

Turning, Lee grabbed a bottle of soap and poured a liberal amount in his hands. He started with his hair, fingers digging into the scalp. There was tension everywhere, Lee noted with a sigh. Maybe he could con Hinata into letting him get a discounted massage at her health spa.

Lee rubbed down his neck and worked at his shoulders. Finding two tender knots, Lee forced his thumbs into them and grunted with the pain and pleasure of it. He worked the knots for a few minutes and then moved on to his upper arms. Lee continued to work at his body, forcing each painful part to loosen, sighing and making soft noises as he went. The massage sounded better and better with each passing moment. Lee wondered how much such a thing would cost.

By the time Lee finished and began to rinse off, he was half hard and irritated about it. Damned hormones and their timing. Lee blew out a puff of air, closed his eyes and stretched his back, groaning over popping vertebrae. Sure jerking off would feel great, but then Gai-sensei would be back on his mind. Lee didn’t want to think about the man. Didn’t want to imagine how Gai-sensei’s face was supposed to look when he had received Lee’s gifts. Lee didn’t want to see the smile, the sparkle in Gai-sensei’s dark eyes. Think about the embrace as Lee confessed his love, hear the whisper of “Lee” in his ear.

Lee sighed in wistful pleasure and leaned back against the shower wall. Acting on an unconscious demand, Lee’s hand snaked its way down his wet body and grasped his fully hard cock. Lee let out a sharp exhale of air, he pumped his hand slowly along his length, and his thoughts focused on the way Gai-sensei’s mouth would feel, the way his eyes would cloud with desire. Lee licked his lips and imagined Gai-sensei’s tongue sliding along his own, strong hands digging into his lower back, pulling him closer, needing him.

“Lee…let me touch you, Lee…”

Groaning Lee’s hand moved faster on his shaft, palming the head, moving back down.

“Oh, please,” Lee whispered very softly. Gai-sensei would grasp Lee’s aching cock through his clothing, the touch caressing and gentle. And Lee could feel the larger man’s body against Lee’s own, the weight delicious and hard. Lee groaned and grasped himself tighter as he thought of Gai-sensei grinding against his leg.

“You make me so hard, Lee.”

And Gai’s mouth was on Lee’s neck, his teeth nibbling along his jaw, his arm tight around Lee’s body, his-

A noise echoed through the room and Lee’s eyes flew open and he quickly turned his back to the open locker room. Lee blushed furiously, slammed the water off, and hastily jerked a towel around his waist.

“Hello?” Lee called, proud his voice was only slightly uneven. There was neither answer nor sound.

Lee’s shoulders sagged in relief, and he quickly toweled off and threw on clothing. Lee shoved the box of chocolates to the bottom of his locker and grabbed his backpack. Konohamaru probably just came back to get something. Lee tried to comfort himself with the idea that the assistant’s locker didn’t have a view of the showers, so obviously the kid couldn’t see anything.

Like Lee masturbating…to thoughts of his sensei.

Lee blushed again and marched through the dim dojo. It was dark outside as Lee very quietly left the building and pulled the door shut behind him. Getting home sounded like the best plan in the world. Lee silently walked down the covered path toward the front office and then paused when he saw something odd from the corner of his eye.

Gai-sensei’s home was to the dojo’s right if one faced the main office, and there was a covered walkway leading from the side of the dojo to Gai-sensei’s front door. The man made a habit of keeping the shades drawn over the windows to keep out prying student eyes, and he was very meticulous about the doors being locked.

The front door of Gai-sensei’s house was open. Lee frowned and immediately changed direction, wondering if something was wrong. No lights were on that Lee could see, and it wasn’t like his sensei to be so forgetful.

Lee’s feet were silent on the paved walkway, the awning overhead further darkening the path. Lee cautiously approached the door and paused to listen just outside. The front door opened into the living room, and Lee could see light flickering faintly from the left. Gai-sensei must be watching TV.

Lee slipped into the house, intent on announcing his presence and that he would close the door after himself, but at the sight of Gai-sensei lying prone on the couch Lee’s voice died in his throat.

The couch ran along the far side of the living room positioned so that Gai or guests could recline and watch the flat screen TV that occupied the wall furthest from the front door. Lee could see the back of his sensei’s head, could tell that his pants were bunched around his thighs, could see the movement of his arm and body, but the rest – such as how Gai-sensei’s hand looked on his own cock – was hidden from Lee’s view.

Gai couldn’t see Lee at all unless he turned completely around. The only light was from the TV, which was playing a black and white movie, the sound almost completely off. It wasn’t porn – unless Gene Kelly had secretly led a duel career, that is.

Lee didn’t breathe for a full minute as he watched and waited for Gai to sense his student’s presence and come at Lee with embarrassed fury.

Instead, Gai rolled his hips and his head tilted back onto the arm of the couch. Lee’s cock throbbed hard and heavy at the sight and did it again at the sound of Gai’s moan. The light from the TV illuminated just enough that Lee could see Gai’s face contorted in pleasure and need, his eyes closed and teeth clenched.

With sense Lee didn’t even know he possessed, he backed up until the front door hid most of his body. That way, even if Gai turned to look, Lee could hope the shadows provided enough cover for him to slip away without being discovered.

All thoughts of anything but the way Gai looked as he jerked himself toward orgasm fled Lee’s mind. Lee’s body flushed with intense heat, the stolen finish from earlier now close once again. Some part of him screamed that this was disrespectful, yelled at Lee to stop watching and leave immediately.

But Lee couldn’t help himself…and when he leaned against the doorframe and slid his hand beneath the waistband of his pants to clutch at his pulsing, needy sex, all he felt was burning want.

Oh, God the way Gai moved. Lee’s sensei panted loudly enough for Lee to hear it and reached one hand down to grasp the side of the couch. His head turned so that his cheek rested on the couch’s arm, and Lee could make out the vague shape of Gai and his hand – moving, pulling, squeezing.

Lee shifted his bag carefully and brought the hand not wrapped around his cock to his mouth. Lee bit into the meat of his thumb to keep from making noise as his eyes feasted and he pumped faster. Precum smeared making the glide smoother and wetter, and Lee bit deeper into his own flesh. Lee blinked through the haze of pleasure and imagined himself lying next to Gai, meeting his eyes, panting with him. He wanted to lean down and breathe against Gai’s skin. Kiss his cheek and ear. Taste him.

“I want to see you come, Sensei.”

“Shit,” Gai hissed from the couch and Lee felt himself tense. He braced against the doorway and came hard, spilling hotly into his hand and clothing. The sound of his own pulse filled his ears, and he felt his teeth break skin.

Gai’s hips jerked violently upward once, twice, and then he moaned very softly as he came. It was the most amazing sound Lee could ever imagine. Lee wanted to stay and watch, wanted to walk over and kiss Gai, tell him to do it again – oh, God, make Gai do it again.

But instead he silently slipped out of the house and ran for the front office. As his key turned the lock on the outside of the front door, Lee leaned against the glass and panted, finally catching his breath.

There would be time for confusion and shame later; time to understand what he’d done and how to face Gai-sensei. Time to rework the plan to make Lee’s beloved sensei his.

For now, though, Lee just wanted to remember the way Gai sounded when he came.

~*~