A Stack of Letters

AN: It is said that Itachi had a lover in the series, so I went with that. This is the last chapter, I had fun writing it although it is much shorter than my usual works. Hope you enjoyed it.
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When Sasuke had asked him if he would feel strange or weird concerning being out in public with his lover he hadn’t given it too much thought. Neji had felt that perhaps he would feel a slight awkwardness or perhaps discomfort, which was fine, he’d simply force himself to adjust.

Because he has never gone out in public or broadcasted so bluntly that he was, in fact, gay, the initial stares and whispers he heard while walking along the streets hand in hand with Sasuke made him feel highly uncomfortable. He wasn’t used to such scrutiny and began to feel a little paranoid, or that perhaps he was doing something wrong. Whenever he would hesitate, however, Sasuke’s grip would tighten slightly although he said nothing nor looked over at his lover.

Neji has been gay his entire life, he cannot remember being any other way, yet this was, quite frankly, the first time he has truly ever exposed himself in such a manner. He found himself feeling extremely guilty for feeling strange or wanting to pull away from Sasuke because of how some people looked so blatantly uncomfortable watching two males walk down the street, obviously a couple. It made him stagger a few times and at one point he had kept his head low, uncomfortable and unsure of himself. It didn’t help that it was close to the lunch hour so many were out and about, shopping and the like.

When one elderly couple gave the two of them a rather disgusted look Neji felt Sasuke tug on him hard, bringing the long haired man close to his side. Wrapping an arm around his waist he did not look at Neji once, walking as if there was absolutely nothing wrong…

Or nothing to be ashamed of. The Hyuuga thought sadly. It wasn’t that he was ashamed, it was just…so many people, so many individuals who were barely able to hide their distaste for a relationship like theirs in this day and age. It did not help that Neji was extremely good at reading people, many who thought they were looking uncaring or indifferent were not. Hyuuga were not fans of attention, Neji was no exception. Still, he felt horrible for his reaction, he did not want Sasuke to feel that he didn’t care or that he didn’t want to be beside him. Neji has always wanted to be affectionate with the person he cared about in public, he shouldn’t be feeling this way and he knew it.

“Neji.” The Uchiha still was not looking over at him. His tone sounded firm although not harsh. Guilt rode the white eyed man hard and he turned to look at his lover.

“Sasu…” worry, guilt, sadness – many emotions were in the Hyuuga’s gaze. Sasuke’s arm tightened around Neji’s waist and dark grey eyes drifted over to take him in. He didn’t look upset, he didn’t really look anything.

“It’s not your fault.” The raven haired man said cryptically and when it was obvious Neji didn’t understand he elaborated “The way you feel, it’s not your fault. You’ve never had to deal with this before right? It’s understandable.”

He shook his head “You have not either and yet –“

“I don’t care because I’ve never been with someone that made me have to hide myself as a person as if they were ashamed of me.” It was said bluntly and it brought light to the source of his feelings “You feel ashamed and wrong because that’s all you’ve experienced from your family and your past lovers.” There was a small pause “Don’t worry about my feelings, that’s all I’m saying. If I was to get mad at anyone it sure as hell wouldn’t be you. Don’t feel guilty for something people have practically conditioned you to feel.”

Worded like that put things in perspective for Neji but it didn’t make him feel any better. “Still…”

Looking at him, Sasuke sighed and his grip on Neji’s hip tightened “Hyuuga,” his tone was flat “unlike those other two idiots, I’m not going anywhere, you’re stuck with me.” There was a small frown “Besides, I should have come back anyway, I should have gotten an answer from you personally instead of assuming you didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. Things would have been different.”

“No,” the Hyuuga shook his head “it’s fine, this is fine. You’re here and we’re together, the memory of that day was enough for us because to be honest; sixteen years is quite a long time to hold feelings for someone.”

Sasuke smiled wryly “I stretched the truth a bit when I said I liked you when I was ten.” When Neji gave him a curious look he shrugged “Do you remember when I was seven and you were eight how all of a sudden the kids started picking on you about us at school?”

“Hm?” tilting his head back in thought, Neji tried to recall the memory “Ah, yes I do remember. I had been quite confused as to why everyone believed that you and I were going to get married or that we were a couple.”

With his free hand the raven haired man scratched the back of his head “That…was my fault. I’m the reason they started doing that.”

Confusion filled Neji and he frowned “What do you mean?”

“You’re going to laugh when you hear this, I’m just warning you now.” When the white eyed man’s gaze continued to look curious he decided to continue “Alright, you know how when we were kids I was really spoiled right? I always had to have my way or else.”

“You still are that way.”

This earned Neji a glare “Anyway, one day during recess I overheard these girls talking about being brides when they grew up and marriage. I had no idea what the hell they were talking about so I asked them about it. They told me that marriage was when two people who loved each other became bound and would be together forever.”

“…Why do I get the feeling I know where this is going?” he wasn’t sure if he should be amused or surprised, obviously Sasu really had held feelings for him long before he had moved away.

“Who’s telling the story here?” he gave the Hyuuga a look and ignored it when Neji sighed and rolled his eyes “So I tell them that I’m going to marry you so we can be best friends forever or something like that. The girls start laughing at me, which pisses me off, and they decide to educate me. They said that for one, we were boys and only a man and a woman could get married and two, you had to be in love with that person. Of course, at seven years old no one told me ‘no’ and got away with it. I was pissed, I said it was a stupid rule and that when I grew up I’d personally make sure it was changed because I wanted to marry my best friend and Uchiha Sasuke always got what he wanted, I didn’t give a damn what I had to do. So that was how the teasing started. Of course, when I got home I went on the internet to look it up because I had been positive that those two girls had lied to me and I was totally going to prove them wrong. Of course, they weren’t wrong and it pissed me off so I went to ask Itachi how I could get it changed.”

At that Neji began laughing, shaking his head “You didn’t. You were really that upset about it?”

“Hell yeah, I was mad that those girls told me I couldn’t do what I wanted. So Itachi tells me that I’m dismissing the fact that the two people have to be in love and that it’s completely different from being best friends. At that point I wasn’t really trying to hear Itachi because he wasn’t telling me what I had wanted to hear. I told him that I wanted to be with my best friend forever so obviously that meant I loved that person right? Of course, I got even more pissed off because Itachi had decided that his little brother was being ridiculous and told me to go look up ‘love’ and ‘couple’ so I could see the difference.

“So I did, but I didn’t see a difference. At the time to me, besides doing all of that mushy stuff, we pretty much fit the bill for ‘love’ and ‘couple’. The difference didn’t really sink in until a year later and when I finally had gotten it I had been fine with it. All that had mattered to me was us being together, I was fine with the ‘mushy stuff’. When I told Itachi that he had given me a very strange look and then told me not to tell mom and dad how I felt, which confused me but I shrugged it off because at that point I was even more determined to get that rule changed so we could get married. I had a rather one track mind as a kid.”

Neji snorted and was shot another glare.

“It wasn’t until I was nine that I understood the reason I didn’t care was because I did actually have feelings for you. I guess I started crushing on you, that’s the best way I can put it. I had watched how the girls would blush and act weird around guys they liked, how some of them who had their little boyfriends would act and I found myself wanting that with you. I had actually felt a little out of sorts at first because it meant that we wouldn’t be best friends anymore, it’d be different and I had been a little unsure as to whether or not that was a good thing.”

Neji let this digest “Hm. So then I am assuming you eventually did come to a conclusion?”

A hand slid up the Hyuuga’s back “Yeah. Once I had fully understood what it was all about I had sat down and thought about if I felt that way and I found that I was okay with the ‘mushy stuff’ as long as it was you.” He looked as if he wanted to say something else but refrained “So that day when I moved…I had been dead serious about what I had said.” He shook his head “Which was why I was so upset two years later when I never got a letter back.”

“I have been meaning to ask this, Sasu, but when you discovered the letters, did you take them with you?” this was Neji trying to shift the topic a bit, because there was something Sasuke had said that had caught his attention and he wanted to think about the meaning of it before bringing it up.

Sasuke shook his head “Yeah, but I’d never let you read them now.” He snorted and gave Neji a smile “A lot of them were horrible, I’d never be able to call myself a man again if I let you read them.”

“Well, that is certainly unfair,” a smile flickered on his normally stoic face “if I had gotten the letters I would have read them, so what is the difference if I read them now since they were obviously written to me?”

A dark eyebrow rose as he began to tug Neji inside of the restaurant they had decided to go to “The difference is that you’re an adult and you’ll see it differently than you would have had you gotten them back then. So no, you don’t get to look. I’m not going to get rid of them but you’re sure as hell never going to find them.”

“You’re rather stingy, Uchiha. They’re my letters after all.”

Pulling the long haired man close the Uchiha tilted his head, lips inches away “Give me time and I’ll tell you personally what most of those letters were about.” He closed the distance.

xxxxx
Since it was lunch time the buffet was open and Neji frowned thoughtfully at the different types of food while he held his plate, debating on what he wanted. He tended to eat rather healthy because he liked to keep his body in good shape but many of the selections were rather heavy on the fat or oil. Maybe there was some baked chicken or…

“Neji?” the voice was definitely male and definitely one the Hyuuga was familiar with. Why this particular person was here in this place in this district was beyond him.

With a small sigh he turned, pale eyes landing on a man with pale skin, bright green eyes and short blue hair. The man was handsome and his looks were borderline feminine, there was a smile on his face.

Why is he here of all places?

“It is you!” still smiling, the man moved and embraced the Hyuuga which made him tense and highly uncomfortable. He did not return the hug but the man didn’t seem to care as he pulled back, his fingers lightly moving through long brown hair “It’s been five years since I’ve seen you Neji,” the smile turned wistful “I missed you, you know that right?”

Closing his eyes briefly, Neji raised a hand, gently pushing the other’s hand away from him “Aoi.” Was the greeting to his ex although it was said flatly. His face was completely devoid of emotion “Why are you even here? I was under the belief that you were still trying to pretend to be straight.”

A look crossed over Aoi’s handsome features “A lot of things change in five years, Neji.” It was said solemnly “You never did give me a reason as to why you broke up with me or why you refused to talk to me after the fact. I would have liked to have worked things out.”

Neji’s expression remained impassive. “Aoi, for one, there was nothing to work out. Secondly, you are well aware of why I broke things off, do not play stupid. While it is good that you’ve finally come out of the closet, so to speak, it doesn’t erase what happened prior.”

White eyes narrowed when the blue haired male brushed a hand along his cheek “Okay, I’ll admit that I didn’t treat you well because I was afraid, but I did care about you…I still do. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for so long I –“

“I am not interested in a reunion nor am I interested in trying to ‘patch things up’.” Once again he brushed Aoi’s hand aside “You do not use the people you care about, Aoi and you did not care about me. If you had, we would not be having this conversation.”

Frustration began to shift the other man’s features “It’s been five years Neji, how long are you going to stay angry with me?”

The Hyuuga didn’t even blink “I am not angry, I simply want nothing to do with you.”

This time Neji frowned as Aoi grabbed his wrist “You can at least give me a chance to talk to you and show you how much I’ve cha –“ his pleading expression contorted into a pained one as he dropped Neji’s wrist due to the hand that was clenching his shoulder. Hard.

“I’m pretty sure he said he wasn’t interested,” fingers dug into skin painfully as Sasuke moved so that he was in Aoi’s peripheral vision. “That might be because he already has a boyfriend. Said boyfriend is probably the extremely jealous type, in fact, I’m positive of it.”

This could turn very ugly very soon if he didn’t do something. Sasuke had already made it clear that if he met the person who had hurt him that he probably wouldn’t react well. The Uchiha wasn’t very outward with his emotions, not like he had been as a child, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t temperamental.

After a moment Sasuke released his painful grip and Aoi turned to face the newcomer, unsure if he wanted to try and fight him or walk away. After a second the blue haired man blinks and frowns “I…know you…” taking a step back he rubs his shoulder “You’re that new guy, Uchiha right?”

“Yeah, I’m the guy you openly flirted with the other day.” A scowl before he turned to Neji “This was the guy who used you? This joker made a pass at me a few days ago when I had gone down to his floor for something.”

I’m not surprised. “Yes. Sasu, this is Aoi, Aoi, this is Uchiha Sasuke, head of the IT department. He is a childhood friend and also my very jealous boyfriend, as you can see.” He actually smirked.

Raising his hands up, Aoi began to back away “Alright, I get it. I didn’t know Neji was seeing someone, in fact, I’ve never even seen him come into this place…”

“It doesn’t matter.” The Uchiha snapped. “He’s here now because I brought him here, something you probably wouldn’t be able to relate to.” Eyes narrowing, he took a step towards Aoi, making the other man flinch. He made sure he had the man’s attention “As far as I’m concerned, you don’t have the right to approach Neji, much less make a pass. If you do it again I will become very upset and that’s as nice as I’m going to be about this.”

Realizing that arguing with this man would be pointless, Aoi continue to back away, obviously unhappy. “I’m sorry. Like I said, I wasn’t aware Neji was seeing someone, this is all just a misunderstanding. I won’t bother him again.” When neither male said anything in response he not only walked away, he walked out of the restaurant. As the tension left the area Neji sighed.

“I suppose I should be glad for the fact that you at least didn’t hit him.” The Hyuuga said dryly.

That got him a raised eyebrow “Are you trying to say I overreacted?”

After a small pause Neji shook his head, putting food on his plate “No, you were fine.” His expression turns contemplative, realizing that this is the first time anyone has ever stood up for him in such a fashion. It was nice but at the same time a bit uncomfortable; the last thing he wanted was for Sasuke to fight people on his behalf and he told him so. Sasuke gave him a look for a moment before frowning.

“You don’t want someone to get into a fight over you because you don’t like violence or you don’t think you’re worth it?”

The question threw him off guard but apparently it was rhetorical for Neji hadn’t been pressed for an answer. It wasn’t as if Sasuke had behaved irrationally, no one liked it when someone hit on their significant other, especially if that person was obviously uncomfortable and uninterested.

He thinks I have self-confidence issues. The Hyuuga deduced and realized that perhaps Sasuke was right. The two people he had cared for hadn’t felt the same way, one had even used him. Was it illogical to believe then that perhaps he had felt it was because there had been something wrong with him?

Because Sasuke believed he had self-confidence issues he had dragged him out in public and stood up for him. He didn’t want Neji to feel as if there was something wrong with him or that he was undesirable because it wasn’t true. It was amazing, even though they had not seen each other in years they still understood each other as if the separation had never happened.

In a few ways the Uchiha was different as an adult than he had been as a child but in many ways he was the same. Stubborn, dedicated, confident, caring. He was a little cockier as an adult than he had been as a child and he no longer showed his emotions so easily but overall nothing had really changed.

A sad smile flickered on the Hyuuga’s face “…Sasu…”

“We should go visit my brother.” It was rather abrupt and Neji looked at him funny “I haven’t seen him in years and I think he’d love to see you.”

He wasn’t entirely sure but he was getting the impression that Sasuke didn’t want to dwell on the issue any longer. It was a little hard pinpointing him down exactly because they truly hadn’t been around each other long.

So Neji gave him a small smile “Alright, that sounds nice.”

xxxxx

“This…is rather unexpected.” Uchiha Itachi commented, blinking at the two men standing inside his wife’s shop. He is definitely surprised, he has not seen his little brother in years and he was almost positive the other man was Hyuuga Neji. Why didn’t Sasuke inform him that he was in town?

So it would seem that they found each other again.

Not that he was upset, quite the opposite. Thirteen years had passed since he had seen his brother, but he hardly looked any different. Hairstyle was the same, mannerisms were similar. He was so tall now, definitely not scrawny and he carried himself well. It was…really good to see him again.

Although he could have let me know so I could have given him a proper greeting.

“Sorry about not calling.” The younger Uchiha says although he doesn’t look that apologetic “I wanted to surprise you.”

Itachi smiled “I am definitely surprised.” He took a glance towards the back where his wife was decorating cakes “Chiri will be pleased to see you again.” He paused, taking his brother in “It is one thing to hear your voice over the phone, it is another to see you, little brother. You’ve grown up well.” His smile was kind when he looked over at Neji “It is also good to see you, Hyuuga. It seems you were able to reunite with Sasuke, he cared about you a great deal.”

Neji returned the smile and gave him a brief nod “Indeed. We have been catching up bit by bit.” The Hyuuga blinked when an arm came around his chest and he was pulled back against his lover.

“Amongst other things.” Sasuke said, giving his brother a knowing smile.

For a moment Itachi merely stared at them, slightly surprised. Then he began to chuckle lightly, shaking his head “So are you two going to get married now?” he asked, showing that he remembered his conversation with Sasuke all those years ago. “I have to admit that I truly am surprised although I should have known that you had been serious about your feelings for Hyuuga. You were always a rather serious child when it came to certain things. In any case, I am happy for the both of you.”

Neji blushed but Sasuke’s smile didn’t fade, pleased that his brother had remembered and that he was fine with them being together “Don’t know about getting married but…” he let it trail off, the point being obvious.

Rolling up a sleeve Itachi looked at his watch “I am not sure how much time you have, but the children are currently at their school and will not get back until later. Both play sports so they have practice on the weekends.”

“We just wanted to stop by to see you,” he informed his brother “I’ll call you later about getting together with everyone.”

Nodding, Itachi motioned for Sasuke to come behind the counter “Before you go, at least say hello to Chiri, she asks about you all the time. If you do not mind, I would like to speak to Hyuuga for a few moments.”

Shrugging, Sasuke let go of Neji and walked around back. When Itachi finally turned to face the other male sounds of a woman being happily surprised could be heard.

Neji decided to go first “Are you going to ask me if my feelings are genuine?” while he had no siblings he did see Hinata as a little sister and he had held his own heart to heart with Gaara once he had asked her to marry him so he knew what this was about.

“No.” Itachi was still smiling, he truly did look happy and content with his life; relaxed. “I merely wished to ask that you take care of my brother. He has cared for you for as long as he can remember, even when father had him believing that you didn’t want to have anything to do with him. He had been hurt and devastated but deep down I think that he had continued to hope. Growing up, he had never taken any relationship he had been in seriously, no one could compare to you in his eyes although I am almost positive it was a subconscious thing.” The smile turned a little sad “Even though he knew I was here, he did not leave that area until he had found those letters, when he had learned the truth. You are the reason my brother is here, so I must thank you. You are very important to him.”

For a long moment Neji did not respond; he looked down at the floor, as if in thought. “I…” he looked up at Itachi “I loved him then…those feelings haven’t changed. Even though in reality we are practically perfect strangers, I understand that the bond we had as children is what has allowed us to ignore all of that and pick up where we left off. I am truly amazed that he still holds feelings for me after all this time, but I am certainly not unhappy about it.”

“Your situation truly is unique, however, if things are truly meant to be, it all comes together somehow or another.”

This time the Hyuuga smiled “I agree. As for Sasuke…” he looked over, watching him converse with his sister-in-law “If anything, he is the one that looks out for me…but there is nothing that he does for me that I will not do for him, I can promise you that.”

Closing his eyes briefly he shifts his gaze to the back “Then, although you two cannot legally marry, I believe that it would not be a far stretch to say ‘welcome to the family’.”

xxxxx

They do not stay much longer, the day grows late and so they return to Neji’s apartment. No words are said, there isn’t a need for it at this point. Instead they return and speak with actions; hands roam and lips brush along heated skin. They do manage to make it to the bedroom although they fail to reach the bed. They do not seem to care as clothes shed, touches and kisses becoming heated.

Long brown hair drapes over their bodies like a silk curtain as his hands rest on shoulders, back against the wall. His legs wrap tightly around his lover’s waist, supported by strong hands. Arms go around his shoulders and the raven haired male buries his face into the crook of lover’s neck, breaths heavy as he moves, enjoying how cool the long hair feels against his heated skin. Within the dark confines of the room there are only their breaths, moans, and words spoken in the heat of passion that can be heard. The rhythm begins slowly, enjoying the first sensations of pleasure. Then all restraints come off, fingers dig into flesh, nails rake across skin, marks are made. There are pleas and cries as they are brought to a fever pitch and then there is no more thought, there is nothing but the sensation of pure pleasure racking through their bodies as they reach their peak and over. Still they cling to each other, still they share kisses and hands roam along soft skin and hardened muscle.

“Do you remember what I said to you that day?” the raven haired male asks as he lay with his lover on the bed, arms tight around him. He has asked this question before, drawing the curiosity of the person curled up beside him.

“You have asked me this more than once,” his lover says, frowning slightly in thought and confusion.

“I keep asking because you haven’t given me an answer.”

The answer is important, his white eyed lover understands this and so instead of answering immediately he withdraws mentally for a moment, drawing up memories of the past – of that fateful day when the two best friends had been forced apart.

The image of two boys emerges, one is him, sitting up on the bed, the other is his lover, the raven haired male. He can remember the sad yet determined expression on his face, the soft dusting of red along pale cheeks. There is hesitation for a moment before he eventually opens his mouth.

“I’m…going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too.”

“…Neji?”

“Yeah?”

“I…I love you. That’s what my brother said to that person and…it sounds right to say it to you.”

There is surprise at the memory, but it is pleasant. It seemed almost impossible to him that there could be a bond so strong that not even sixteen years of separation could break it.

“I don’t know if you remember all of what I said back then but I realized that I still feel that way.”

Now he understands why his friend had been asking him that question often, it was his way of admitting his feelings as an adult since he cannot voice them as he had when he had been a child. A roundabout way of saying ‘I love you’.

There was a pause and then the boy smiled “Okay then. I love you too.”

“Do you remember my response?” comes the counter question as he shifts to face his best friend and lover. There is silence for a moment but when he responds only those dark eyes of his seem to show any emotion.

“Yeah. I remember.” The voice sounds hesitant, unsure yet hopeful. The white eyed male scolds himself, remembering the doubts and fears he had held initially. The problem between them had been because of him, not his faithful dark eyed love. It was time to change that for it had not been him that had truly needed reassurance.

What a fool I have been. He thinks before shifting once more, framing his long time friend’s face, gazing into those dark depths.

“I still feel that way.” He says with a light smile and then closes the distance between their lips.