Deprivation

Short chapter, I know, but more coming sooner on this one. Thank you everyone!


Later, after bathing, cookies, dinner, and bad TV, Kimimaro sat naked in bed covered by a thin sheet. The room was lit by a single lamp on Kimi’s bedside table. Behind the queen-sized bed and wooden, slat headboard, dark blue drapes covered the long, wide window and blocked the light of a full moon. With a breath that shook hard as it left his lungs, he closed the black folder that rested on his bent knees and turned to place it carefully on the floor. Kimi stared down at it for a long moment, mind in a firestorm of fear and want, and he jerked his hand back when he realized he traced the front of the folder with the tips of his fingers.

A rustle of fabric and hands on his bare skin made Kimi sit up, and he gratefully and silently let Haku pull him down to the bed. Kimimaro buried his face in Haku’s neck and scent, and the smaller man wrapped arms and leg around Kimi, holding tightly.

For reasons Kimimaro understood but didn’t want to dwell upon, he began to shake and breathe faster. He clung to Haku and shook his head, a silent denial of want that ran so deeply it was a living, hungry thing in Kimimaro’s bloodstream, and his lips dragged in a kiss across Haku’s bare upper chest.

“Tell me what scares you,” Haku whispered.

Kimi’s eyes flew open and when he blinked, damp lashes brushed Haku’s skin. “I…it…” He couldn’t make his voice work, and Haku rubbed his back, the soothing touch working magic in moments.

“The note,” Kimimaro said finally, words choked. “The note…letter…where he said he wanted me and what he wanted to do…”

“Yes?” Haku gently prompted.

“It was…it was hand written. All of it. Pages and pages…things he didn’t need to say, but did. Things that didn’t have anything to do with the Scene and just…what he wanted. And why…” Memorized curls of script danced in front of Kimimaro’s eyes, and he felt sucker punched. Caught. Trapped. Laid bare.

“Oh,” Haku said, a quiet gasp of sound.

“Haku? He says why he wants me.”

“Tell me?”

“That he was inspired and moved by my dance, that he liked the way the metal caught the light, my hair, my eyes, my respect and tone. He…he…described me with poetry, just…said what he liked, what he wanted to touch, what he wanted to do, how he wanted me to feel. Said he’s been…watching, wants to…know me…and that I seem so untouched for someone who should be so jaded.” Kimimaro quoted the letter with wide, unseeing eyes, and Haku’s hand threaded into Kimimaro’s hair.

“Oh,” Haku breathed. “Kimi…”

Kimimaro whimpered and pressed his lips to Haku’s skin in frantic, sloppy kisses.

“Does he offer pain?” Haku asked.

Kimimaro nodded, not trusting his voice. He felt and heard Haku swallow.

“Release for himself?”

Another nod, and Kimimaro had to bite Haku’s skin to help him remember what was real.

“Oo-oh,” Haku breathed, both in response to Kimi’s teeth and the answer. “And…for you? Release for you?”

Kimimaro made a quiet, affirmative noise, and he felt like he might burn alive.

Haku shifted, clasped both hands on either of Kimi’s cheeks and forced their gazes level. “Is there anything that could hurt you?”

Knowing what kind of hurt Haku meant, Kimi shook his head once; a negative.

Dark eyes searched Kimimaro’s. “And he promises to reveal himself that night?”

“He does,” Kimimaro husked.

“Then you have to agree to it,” Haku said with finality. “For both of us.”

“But – ”

Haku covered Kimimaro’s mouth with one hand. “No,” he said firmly. “I know you want and need this. And it’s safe because Neji and Kakashi say it is. I trust them because you trust them. So do it, remember every piece, and then come back to me and tell me every detail.” Haku’s cupid mouth pulled into a smile.

Kimimaro remained still, got control of his breathing, and finally nodded beneath the scrutiny of Haku’s steady stare.

With a knowing, timid glance, Haku removed his hand from Kimi’s face and kissed him, touch trailing down to circle Kimimaro’s cock, stroking the half-hard length to full form.

“Take me again,” Haku said like it was a secret someone could overhear. Kimimaro said nothing, rolling onto his back as Haku pushed insistently against him and slid on top of Kimi to straddle his hips. “Want to ride you and feel metal and skin inside of me,” Haku whispered, and Kimimaro’s mouth fell open as Haku gripped Kimi’s wrists and pushed them up on the bed. He blinked slowly up at Haku, feeling desperate and dreamlike. What was real? The contract? The need? This? Haku’s hands on his body, thighs squeezing his sides, Haku’s lower lip caught by his upper teeth.

“I like telling you what I want,” Haku said in a conspirator’s murmur as he shifted his lower body and caught the head of Kimimaro’s cock with his ass and then entrance. “It’s so easy with you…”

Kimimaro’s eyelids fluttered closed as heat engulfed him again. “Oh God…your cock feels so…so good…” Haku gasped, already starting to move.

The words washed everything away but the burned outlines of images created by a stranger’s handwriting and the feel of Haku rocking above Kimi. Fingers dug into his wrists, nails scraping, and Kimi moaned Haku’s name, hips rising to meet Haku’s rolls. It was too simple to imagine himself bound and helpless; undone and so far down he could only move and obey the pleasures of someone else’s mind. It was harder to conjure how the stranger’s touch would feel: unfamiliar hands on his body, demanding and caressing and exploring, would make Kimi want to struggle for himself and purchase and ultimately want to give in with abandon. Especially when he couldn’t see…didn’t know…couldn’t hear…

“Kimi,” Haku groaned, and Kimimaro’s eyes flew open as he pulsed up harder into Haku’s body. They watched one another, mouths and eyes mirroring one another’s in need and desperation. Haku was all debauched beauty and hesitating desire; Kimimaro wanted to drown in the bliss of body and the wicked glimpses of a shadowy lover in his minds’ eye.

“Promise me,” Haku said, voice level for all his shaking and tensing musculature.

“I’ll do it,” Kimimaro said immediately. “For you, I’ll do it.”

A blur of fast breathing and slicked bodies made the contract between them, and the world fell away into unimportance. Haku called out and let go of Kimi’s wrists to fall backward, catching himself with stiffened arms, entire body shaking as the angle changed and Kimi’s hand circled his bobbing dick. It went on and on, and Kimimaro cried out at the insatiable need in Haku. It was too good, too simple, too everything, and Kimimaro gasped a warning--

“Going to come, Haku, oh fuck – ”

-- and Haku found balance and his hips rose as Haku reached up to the base of his own throat before dragging his nails down his body in a vicious rake that left behind reddening welts and crimson droplets. He slammed down into the cradle of Kimi’s thighs and came in complete silence, blood oozing, head back, body rolling, hair plastered to his cheek. Kimimaro followed a second later, the sight and feel of Haku pure perfection.

“Good,” Haku breathed as he rose and fell to one side, catching himself on an elbow and then giving out as Haku’s entire body curled and pooled in a swirl of hair, angry welts, and lithe limbs.

“Good,” Kimimaro sighed, body languid and loose. He didn’t remember Haku moving, didn’t know the mechanics, but he opened his eyes in the middle of the night to blink into damp hair. A dream followed Kimi to consciousness: smoke rising from the black folder, forming a figure that bent and whispered and beguiled. Kimimaro’s skin dimpled in goose flesh as he shivered and pulled Haku closer. The boy shifted with a quiet sigh and softer snore. Kimimaro murmured incomprehensible sounds of affection to the shadows at his back and to Haku and let sleep take him once again.

~*~