Blood Orange

A/N : Last chapter before the smut, I swear.

Hopefully this should explain a bit more.


Rates and Reviews are loved so very much. Seriously. I nearly cry with joy when I get them.


Anyways, enjoy.


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Long flowing blonde hair?


Check


Gaze cold enough to turn you to stone?


Check.


Measurements that every girl in Konoha (and everywhere else for that matter) would commit atrocious crimes for?


Also check.


You'd seen her before, plenty of times, but in every instance you find yourself face to face with the infamous medic nin you find yourself stunned. You'd initially scoffed every time you'd hear one of Konoha's male go off on a tirade about her legendary beauty ( and even MORE legendary bust) but seeing her in person would always, ALWAYS makes you second guess yourself.


It was the eyes. Piercing, judging, and so very, very alive. A far cry from your humble, pale gaze.


”And this is why he chose her”


You shake your head furiously as if to rid yourself of the thought. Whatever. Just get this over with and you'd be on your way. Having nowhere to go aside from the hospital, your old residence having been destroyed along with the rest of Konoha (You may have very well destroyed it yourself) Kakashi had offered to let you stay at his place, until you got back on your feet.

which would be never.


You weren't stupid. He'd been assigned as your caretaker, your “rehabilitation therapist” as he'd put it on your way back to the hospital. But you could easily read between the lines on this one.


He wanted you there for his own purposes.


You tried to tell yourself that he was simply being kind, that maybe, just maybe, he'd finally regretted who he'd been and what he'd done so many years ago, and there was a good chance that was partially true. But you weren't stupid, weren't floating in your fairy-tale mindset anymore.

Cold comfort for shelter. In some twisted, symbiotic way, you needed each other.

And you didn't have the strength left to believe otherwise.


“_____-san!”


You then realize that your Hokage had been addressing you for the past thirty seconds.


“Tsunade-seisshou” Sakura starts “Her senses are dulled. She has a hard enough time telling where she is.”


Tsunade says nothing.


“It's to my understanding, given reports by not only my student, head nurse, and numerous hospital personnel, that you've managed to recover, albeit not completely, from your mind-controlled state, and that you posses memory, mental ability and cognitive reasoning on par from when you were a shinobi amongst our ranks.”

You nod feverently. “Hai”


“Then, I've come to the decision, based on the information that I've been given, that you are to be released from hospital supervision, with several restrictions.”

“And those would be?”


She clears her throat, folding her hands in front of her.


“You are NOT to leave the village at any time, you are to report in WEEKLY for testing AND you are to stay under the supervision of Hatake-san at ALL times.”


You bow your head, understanding, submissive.


“I understand. will that be all?”


“Almost.” the sannin rummages through the forest of paperwork covering her desk. “Apparently there was something discovered while Sakura here was repairing your fractured hips.”


Ah. the medical anomaly. Finally. Just get this over with and you'd be out of here.


Tsunade furrows her brows, in either concentration or concern you couldn't tell.


“There's considerable strain marks on your pelvis,” She starts slowly, her brow creasing. “Now, that's nothing special, most female ninja experience some damage to their abdominal area at some point, but this is more than “some damage”, this is strain over a considerable amount of time” she clears her throat, suddenly looking the slightest bit uncomfortable. “I'm sure you see where I'm going with this?”


You turn rigid, a deep sinking fear settling in the pit right bellow your chest as you swallow hard.


No.


...Not this...

“You gave birth, didn't you?”


Sakura seems to have inhaled so sharply she starts choking. You feel yourself shaking, heart racing, ignoring the coughing fit, ignoring Tsunade. Your entire world jarrs to a complete stop.


“As much as I hate delving into personal information like this,” Tsunade continues on, either oblivious to your shattered mental state or apathetic, you couldn't tell. “If you were registered as a Konoha shinobi at the time of birth, you're going to have to tell me what happened, starting with when.”


You say nothing, eyes perpetually glued to the floor. You wanted to die right there and then, sink into the floor, just evaporate.


Fuck it, you couldn't do this. Not here. Not now. And god knows not in front of her.

“______-san!” she barks, her limited patience with you having run out. “Don't make this any more difficult then it has to be!”


“A year ago.”


She blinks. “That recently?” she bites her lip, contemplating. Before turning to an enormous file cabinet, muttering under her breath. Shuffling, and she comes back with a select few names on it, including yours, and a date.


Last November.


It's then the memories come back with the force of a tidal wave, flooding your brain. A myriad of sights, smells, pictures, sounds, and tactile sensations. Oh god tactile sensations. And in that instant, you remember.

Remember his scent, his voice, him calling your name, wringing fingers through his hair, hot breath on your throat as he fucked you, and you used each other. The fear when it all collapsed, and through the chaos some sort of twisted resolution lay on the horizon.


In that instant, you remember everything.

And in that instant you fucking lose it.

“-in that time period she was away, she'd turned in her headband. In fact, she's marked as a civilian here. But I have it down that she was away with personal matters.” whether Tsunade had been talking to herself or her apprentice, you couldn't tell.


Sakura seems to have had an epiphany.


“Wait, seisshou. Back then was about half a year before Naruto came back, right? He was still with Jiraiya-sama then.”

“It doesn't matter” Tsunade snapped the folder shut with one hand, “She was a civilian then, there's no reason to report it.”


“Yes but,” this time, Sakura swallows nervously. “There was a span of about half a year when she accompanied them.”

Tsunade drops the folder, papers spilling unceremoniously over the floor. A heavy, uncomfortable silence falls over the three of you. Sakura seems to have immediately regretted reporting her discovery, and you can see tiny beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

Tsunade breaks the silence.

“Who was he?”

You fail to reply, focusing only on the building, burning something welling up from your chest into your throat

“Seisshou, you just said yourself that this wasn't nessi-”

Tsunade holds out her hand, silencing Sakura, her eyes flashing with thinly veiled rage.

“Tell me NOW.” it's her voice that's wavering this time. “Who was-”

“You fucking KNOW who it was!” you snarl, slamming your fist on the desk. You'd reached a fever-pitch. You don't care that she's your Hokage, OR that she's ten times your power level and could kill you with a well-aimed kick. She'd had this coming, and you weren't going to wallow in alone in despair for a second longer.

“I didn't intend for it to happen, any of it.” you seethe, shaking uncontrollably “When a relationship is built on an accident, that's all it is. One huge fucking mistake. But we tried. We tried so hard to fix things.”


“But in the end, it fixed itself. It wouldn't have mattered anyways.” you raise your eyes to meet hers, and for once , they're not boring into yours. They're wide open, vulnerable. And you don't hide the tears now streaming profusely from yours.


“In the end, Jiraiya chose you.”

With those last words, you feel her wall breaking down. Had you not felt such incredible contempt for her, you may have felt some remorse, because seeing such a powerful woman taken down by words alone was painful to watch, but in some last ditch effort to regain what remained of her composure, she holds her gaze steady with your tearful one.


“What happened to the child?”


“At seven months, we were ambushed. Three kunai straight through my abdomen. I miscarried.”
You choke back a sob, a pathetic smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, and next part comes out a nearly unintelligible whisper.

“It was a little girl.”

Tsunade breaks eye contact, expression rendered unreadable under long, blonde bangs. For a moment, no ones moves. No one breaths before the sannin suddenly gets to her feet and turns toward the door.


“Tsunade-sama-” Sakura starts, trailing off.”


“A drink.” Tsunade replies, wrenching open her office doors. “I'm going to get a drink. Or two. Or sixty.” she slams the door behind her, hard enough that the hinges break, dislodging the door and sending several enormous cracks up the wall to the ceiling.


Sakura remains statue-esque for a moment, before muttering something about Naruto, and exiting via the large window behind the desk, leaving you alone.


You drop to the ground, knees pressed against your chest, unsure of what to think, to feel.


What remains of the door is destroyed as Kakashi makes his way through, either having gotten tired of waiting for you, or having noted something was amiss when Godaime had effectively stormed out of the room and Sakura followed suite. Through the perpetual mess of papers he makes his way over to you. Saying nothing, he sits next to your trembling self.


He'd heard it. All of it. You find yourself worried that he might be upset, and consequently find yourself wondering why you cared., when you find him wrapping both arms around you. Not pulling you closer, just holding. Just there.


It's you that pulls him in closer, as you bury your face in his chest, fingers ebbing into his arms, and back. You start heaving. And sobbing.


And crying harder than you ever have in your life.