Naru/Sasu SongFic. Saga

A/N: This chapter gets pretty deep, I'm not so certain that without an explanation, that my choosing to get deep with such a bouncy song will make much sense. I wanted to focus on breaking down how naive Sasuke still is to the world around him – being a child of suburbia – regardless of the loss of his father coupled with his home life. And wanted to focus also on Naruto's loss of naivety. I placed the line 'In such an ugly world' strategically to introduce the heavier topics. I generally place the lyrics as methodically as possible. I feel like songfics. Get a bad rep for bad timing and I really hope I'm not one to contribute to that >.< Hahaha! AND I know I suck! I said evening! It's being posted pretty late, but this chapter KICKED...my...ASS! Emotionally draining angst! :P

 

****WARNING**** This chapter does contain descriptions of (fictional) child abuse! (NON sexual) I had not added that tag to the story description seeing as how I was not sure if I was going to include it or not, But I did. So here is your fair warning!

 

Midnight Essence: Haha! Yeah filler happens. Sometimes for a reason! ^.~. If it was all action all the time how would I end up with something phantasmagorical?! There must be shifts of mood, and ups and downs and twists and turns! :P

 

Ch 4

 

Song: Naive

Artist: The Kooks

 

Naruto's PoV:

 

Oh! This was going to be fun! Watching Sasuke writhe uncomfortably, Naruto stuck out his tongue childishly. The train was just pulling into the station when he distinctly saw Sasuke mutter what he thought was 'Dobe!' again... The insult rolled off his shoulders, and he squashed it verbally.

 

“Have it your way then...” He turned away, nonchalant.

“Teme!...” Indeed, two could play this game, Naruto figured he had the highest tolerance for a trying situation out of the two of them anyways. Time to put his wits and nerves to the test. He could not help it that Sasuke was so easily worked up, but he intended to push until just the right moment. The problem was that Sasuke didn't want to admit that what happened last night scared him. Not only that, he couldn't admit that there was something to it without panicking.

 

I may say it was your fault

Because I know you could have done more

 

He was lying to himself, and to Naruto in the process. For that, Naruto blamed him for the slight sting in his heart. The one that almost drove him away.

Almost...

He watched for Sasuke's reaction. It was almost undetectable. A stiffness in his jaw indicated the grinding of his teeth. Naruto reveled in the way he could stir up emotions in someone so cold. Neither of them spoke until they'd boarded the train. Naruto stayed close to the doors, holding onto one of the poles rather than finding a seat. Sasuke on the other hand made himself more comfortable, dropping his bag carelessly on the ground, then seating himself as far away from the blonde as he could. Acting as though he hadn't noticed the distance Sasuke had put between them Naruto looked thoughtful for a moment.

 

“Where ya headed?...” He was curious about the Uchiha, something rang familiar about the last name now that he thought about it. He was greeted with silence. Naruto guessed he should have expected that.

 

Oh you're so naive yet so

 

Sasuke's PoV:

 

The train doors closed. The confining nature of the space constricted Sasuke's will to ignore the simple question. After all, now they were stuck on this train together for about the next forty-five minutes or so. He settled for giving a piece of the truth.

“To work.” Watching the scenery pass them by, he imagined himself jumping out the train window, still in motion to escape. Subconsciously he must have been feeling far more vindictive than he'd known because he added:

“Some people have responsibilities... Something I'm sure you wouldn't understand...” Shocking even himself with how low that little bait had been, he held his breath. It was destructive behavior like this that kept people away, and he'd come to the conclusion years ago that that was far better than being used and tossed aside by everyone. He was just a pretty face to be flaunted and boasted about to anyone he'd let himself get close to. He wanted Naruto to be different, but he could not risk another heartache. Could not bring himself to let go...

How could this be done

By such a smiling sweetheart.

Naruto hung his head... With his chin to his chest the fore mentioned sting in his heart ripping open. He had his face in his palm, shaking his head. Regret was instant. Sasuke chose to avoid glancing in Naruto's direction. He did not even want to fathom what those perfect eyes would look like marred by grief... To see the lines of pain etched on his face...

Wait...Laughing?...Well sort of...It was distorted.. Something was not right with the way Naruto's shoulders shook...

“Naruto?...”

Ohh and your sweet and pretty face

 

Naruto's PoV:

 

Responsibility? What didn't he know about it? He'd been in charge of himself since day one.

And granted, he was happy with where his life had taken him, but that didn't mean that getting here had been a breeze. Now was that journey anything he cared to divulge? Not particularly. In fact it was something that he'd generally avoided bringing up, but he felt that maybe this was an instance that called for an exception to that.

 

In such an ugly world

 

Since he'd arrived in Japan he'd made many friends, but no one really knew much about his past. There were people he'd trust his life to, friends that could trust him to save theirs... They all had a set of unspoken etiquette amongst themselves: Don't ask, don't tell. No one had to know unless it was offered, or unless it could endanger the rest of them. They operated as a family unit and sometimes Naruto could stay with them for short periods of time. When he did he would take on a part time job to help with the bills. Before moving to Tokyo he'd had a place in America...Thinking about it brought back nothing but pain.

The cynical barks of laughter slithered eerily from him. Dark and haunted....

He'd been quiet for a little longer than he'd thought. Muffled through his distraction he heard his name, soft and uncertain...

“Responsibility huh?...” He was rolling his lip ring, mouth tense, an inferno building in his eyes...

He was attempting not to let his anger get the best of him. He wasn't one to fight fire with fire, so he was careful to calm himself before speaking...It took almost fifteen minutes of contemplation and sheer will power to not deck Sasuke's other cheek. Still feeling unstable he decided he probably was not going to feel any better till he got this out of his system.

“Alright Sasuke...I'll bite...” His tone was venomous.

“But don't fool yourself for an instant, I owe you nothing, and I sure as hell don't need to justify myself. I will let you in on a little piece of my perfect life because I will NOT be treated like an ignorant social degenerate! Got it!?”

Startled, Sasuke could only stare at Naruto with wide eyes. He'd never expected to be met with such immense emotion. No one had ever really stood up to him. It was just like yesterday on the train, Naruto had pushed back then too.

“You assume I know nothing of responsibility. You have known me for less than twenty-four hours and you're going to make some sweeping generalization about my life? Don't be so naive.. How about this?

I have never had a moment free of what you call responsibility! Work? Taking care of your day to day life? Paying bills? Been there. Done that. Gotten the scars to prove it. And I'm telling you... all before I was six-teen!” He was visibly shaking, adrenaline had him on overdrive.

Sasuke opened his mouth about to protest. About to defend his stance, even though he knew he deserved this.

Naruto cut him off with no more than one simple glare, looking wild and feral...

“Keep in mind as I tell you these things, that I'm in no way saying you have not had your fair share of hardships. I sensed them the moment I met you. So think twice about getting defensive. You dug this little hole and now I'm going to fill it back in. So just listen...” He was no longer yelling, but there was still an edge to his voice that shook with his effort not to.

 

But you are so beautiful.

 

Sasuke nodded, staring intently out the window again wishing he'd kept his mouth shut in the first place. Naruto could see skepticism etched into the tension around his mouth. He knew there was a sincere person behind this horrific defensive visage. Maybe if he gave some of himself, he'd get something in return.

That every time I look inside

Naruto sighed, where should he begin? He couldn't see any way around it... He took a seat across from Sasuke, trying to center himself. If he was going to share this, he may as well share it, not yell it. Though that did not eliminate the pain just under the surface of of his now much steadier tone.

“I uh, I grew up in the care of American social services, in and out of foster homes. Most of which were... Okay I guess except for the fact that I was just old enough that I guess no one was looking to adopt in that age range. The families didn't want to get attached to me so I was usually treated more like a guest, but without all the fun guest perks.”

This must have caught Sasuke's attention. His gaze was fixed on Naruto, doubt washing away. His elegant hands laced together, chin resting upon them. For some reason Naruto really liked this this gesture.

“Anyways, I guess it's probably why I'm a an eternal nomad at heart. I was never really in any one place for too long. It made it real hard for me to make friends, to keep ties to anything really. I had to learn lessons no child should have to learn so young. Like when I was about eight or nine...” He had to pause and collect himself, rolling his eyes and taking a deep breath.

“I was placed with a family in a particularly rough part of town...I think it was stressful for them. Looking back on it they really were not well off enough to have been taking on a child to begin with. I'd never so much as been spanked by a foster parent before this family....” Trailing off to some distant time long since passed.

“I still remember the first beating like it was yesterday. I had only been with them for about a week. I'd dropped one of their really nice china dishes while cleaning up after Thanks Giving – it's an American holiday that entails lots of food with lots of family – and it was supposed to be a day full of joy.” The word joy was sarcastically drawn out.

“ Apparently though, I'd gotten in the way a few too many times during the day, then of course dropping the dish was sort of their breaking point. My foster mother started sweeping it up while I held the dust pan...” Another pause as he closed his eyes...Burying his face into his hands, then running his fingers through his bright golden hair.

Sasuke shifted in his seat he knew all too well what came next...

Not only was he re-living these moments, but because he lacked the vocabulary for certain words he was struggling to find their equivalents quickly enough for his story to be effectively told.

“The next thing I knew I was flat on my ass, I thought for sure my head was splitting in two...FUCK! I just... Never can get over it!... I had never been purposely hurt by an adult before, so I thought it had been an accident, and ran crying to her for comfort. That's when she back handed me and I fell, smacking my head into the counter and landed in the glass on the ground....” Naruto swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.

“I passed out after a few moments... Thank the stars I usually did during these beatings. When I would wake up I'd be covered in blood... Sore from head to toe... I had no way of contacting my social worker and she only came to see me once a month.. Somehow I managed to always look as though I'd only been bumped up from playing at the playground by the time she came to visit. She didn't believe me until I ended up in the hospital nearly dead from taking a nasty kick to an already broken rib, the bone punctured my lung... I'm sure you get the point.. It was pretty bad...And they were not the only abusive family I ended up being placed with over the years, they just had the honor of being the first...”

All these years later he may as well be a kid again when remembering it...He had to dig deep to unearth the strength not to cry, not to duck down for fear of being shoved into a wall, not to cave into himself again... He wanted to stop, but he hadn't finished even one fraction of what he'd planned on telling Sasuke...

I know, he knows that I'm not fond of asking

True or false, it may be... Well, he's still out to get me.

Sasuke's PoV:

Sasuke had heard more than enough to realize he didn't even deserve a second thought in Naruto's mind. 'How vapid could I be!?' His thoughts raced, there was so much to take in...So much hurt...

“Naruto, you can stop...I...I'm sorry, I had no right to presume even the first thing about you... I'm not sure what to say to make this better though...And I'm really sorry that that happened...” He knew he sounded lame. No apology would be good enough to convey how badly he really felt. Jumping out the window was beginning to sound pleasant again; however that would not steal the pain away from the man sitting across from him. Would not ease the soul chilling fears...Sasuke had never felt so compelled be by someone's side before...

Especially because something that Sasuke did take note of, was that Naruto had not mentioned why he'd been placed in foster care to begin with. He'd mentioned that before that violent incident, he'd never been purposely assaulted by and adult... So his parents weren't abusive, which mostly took away the possibility of drugs or alcohol as well...

Agonizing realization struck like the crack of a whip to his chest. Naruto's parent's might have died... He wanted to ask, but he knew now was not the time. Judging from the way Naruto's expression was not quite secure, his lips twitching periodically, he was desperately trying not to cry.

 

“Hey...” Sasuke made his way over to kneel in front of Naruto.

“I know my apology doesn't even begin to cover my faulty mental functioning.” He kept trying to catch Naruto's eyes. Finally when he'd gotten a direct contact he had to chase away his own emotionally charged reaction.

“But I truly am sorry...” He kissed Naruto's cheek. It felt odd, having met someone and so soon after showing such affection. They were even using each others' first names without expressing permission! Naruto really did bring out the oddest side of him.

And I know, he knows that I'm not fond of asking

True or false, it may be... he's still out to get me!

…....

 

Not saying it was your fault

Although you should have done more

You're so naive yet so

 

Naruto's PoV:

Yeah such an ugly thing as you... Are so kind

That every time you're on my mind's side

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. Greatful for Sasuke's understanding. His stomach flip-flopped as their gazes met. Just as he'd thought. A gruff exterior did not reflect the real person within. Not that he'd tell him, but the kindness suited Sasuke far better than the stoic shell he'd created. No ugly shell of a human was going to match up to the real thing. It would pale in comparison... He'd heard the first apology, and it had been more than enough, he just had no words left to spare. It had been years since he'd told anyone anything about himself that wasn't simply hollow daily information.

He dipped his head in acceptance. It would seem that giving a piece of himself had brought them a little closer.

I know, he knows that I'm not fond of asking

True or false, it may be... Well, he's still out to get me.

And I know, he knows that I'm not fond of asking

 

Sasuke hesitantly raised up, brushing velvet lips gingerly against his. Naruto closed his eyes instinctively leaning into the kiss with the same delicate care. Lips still barely touching Naruto's tongue danced along Sasuke's lower lip longingly... It was greeted with the slick sensation of Sasuke's tongue on his own.

For such a tentative kiss it had Naruto harder than he could have ever imagined... He pulled Sasuke up to straddle his lap

The train was till speeding along, creating a sense of dizzying vertigo...The kiss deepened, Naruto's arms found their way around Sasuke's waist, tugging lightly, wanting their bodies flush, fitting perfectly together.

True or false, it may be... He's still out to get me!

There they both sat, panting heavily, parting only for air. A silent plea passed between them, not spoken, yet understood to it's fullest:

Just don't let me down

Just don't let me down

Hold on to your kite

Just don't let me down

Just don't let me down

Hold on to your kite

Just don't let me down

Just don't let me down

Hold on to this kite

Just don't let me down

 

A/N: Holy HELL! Can't believe I'm gonna leave ya hanging like this! I probably won't be able to update for a few days. RL is gettin crazeh so gotta focus. >.<  Sooooo...I Fell asleep like FIVE times going over this! Hahaha! 1:30am...I felt so bad about not having it out when I said I would that I just haaad to finish it hahaha! I'll edit a bit tomorrow if I catch anything.  Hope this makes up for a really short last chapter? ^.^ Well worth the wait I hope! I'm so happy with how this chapter turned out!  Well good night! I must sleEeEeeeEeEEEeEep!