Almost Sucks

Almost Sucks
by Mashiro

Naruto fandom, series, no spoilers
AU, BOYS LOVE: Naruto x Sasuke, Kakashi x Iruka, Lee x Gaara

first version: November 27th 2006, Monday
second version: November 4th 2008, Tuesday

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DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the rights to the Naruto series or characters and I make no money writing this. I’m just a fan. This is fan fiction.

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46: No sex

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On Wednesday a chilled gathering of weather had tumbled down on the land from the mountains. Yes, the mountains were too far away to be visible from Sasuke’s neighborhood, but they weren’t so far that what tumbled down from them had no effect. Suddenly late November was a little more like late November.

It was Thursday afternoon and Sasuke stood waiting outside for Naruto to finish in the showers, legs goose bumped and breath huffs of smoke in the air. If it hadn’t been for the cloudless sky he would have screwed the schedule and gone inside a long time ago. The grass and asphalt were frosted in the shadows. Hopefully gym teacher would stop having classes outside soon; or maybe not hopefully...

To avoid embarrassment they had decided to try and not shower at the same time after PE and had made up a schedule of sorts, taking turns on who got to shower first and who got to wait. Sometimes they screwed the schedule for the sake of not being suspicious; only on those days they practically ran through the showers very fast with gritted teeth, struggling to keep their eyes from wandering and “problems” occur. Sasuke had always managed, but Naruto had had to run out and hide in the bathroom once. It was yet another unforeseen problem with going out with someone in your class.

Sometimes Sasuke figured it would be much more convenient to just share the “news” and let people laugh or be appalled or whatever it was that they did when they found out the most popular guy in school was going out with his friend. Naruto probably wouldn’t need much convincing to agree to it, if any at all. Still, Sasuke wasn’t quite bothered enough by all the little things they had to do to tell everyone. It was one thing to be the center of attention because you were cool, good looking and occasionally rude. To be the center of attention because you were going out with someone you weren’t “supposed” to go out with was something else.

Today it was Sasuke’s turn to wait and Naruto was taking an awful lot of time to get finished. Usually the one waiting never had to wait very long because the one showering made sure to hurry, but apparently not this day. Frustrating blond, Sasuke snorted to himself and hoped the guy hadn’t drowned in the showers. It wasn’t very likely, of course, as Naruto wasn’t alone in there and Sasuke knew he wasn’t unpopular enough in class for their classmates to just let him drown. Then Sasuke found himself thinking that if he were to risk drowning in the showers (not that it would ever happen) he wasn’t so sure the guys would be very eager to help him. Some of them would give him a hand, sure, it wasn’t like Sasuke was hated, but a few of them might not be overly eager; might think something like ‘whatever, who’d miss him? More girls for us.’ Pathetic, jealous losers. They should have noticed by now that Sasuke wasn’t interested in the girls.

The glass doors that would take you to the locker rooms opened and Sasuke looked up, hoping he could glare at Naruto for taking too long and finally go get that shower. He really had to go in soon or he’d miss the bus and he was not dressed for walking home. But it was not the right blond; Sasuke sighed and muttered to himself, stomping his feet for some warmth. First it looked like the guy would be on his way, then he noticed Sasuke and after a bit of hesitation he altered his course and headed towards where Sasuke was standing. Sasuke shook his head. He must look like an idiot standing there.

“Heey, Uchiha!”

This blond was taller than Naruto and skinnier, with freckles. His personality reminded Sasuke of Naruto’s but this blond was even denser; he was a typical stupid and carefree school kid. Everyone called him Kawa, though it was not his first name, not his last name and not a short version of either of them. Sasuke supposed it was based on some kind of incident that had happened before his time that no one had thought about telling him of, not even Naruto (which was a miracle in itself). Though, Sasuke supposed, it wasn’t like he would have liked to know.

“Hey,” Kawa said again when he had stopped in front of Sasuke. His face was red from the showers. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Sasuke said and hoped that would work. It did. Kawa grinned and huffed as if everything was great.

“We really kicked their asses today, didn’t we?”

Sasuke had been on the same team as Kawa in the mini-tournament soccer thing they had done in PE and they had won. Naruto had been on another team that had made it pretty far but not as far as to the finals. Sasuke hoped that wasn’t why Naruto was taking such a long time in the showers; it wasn’t like Sasuke was to blame for Naruto’s teams never getting very far. They hadn’t even played each other.

“Yeah,” Sasuke said.

Kawa grinned and chewed his bottom lip. He stood there for a moment, hesitating, looking around, then back to Sasuke. Eventually Sasuke gave up waiting.

“What do you want?”

“Oh!” Kawa’s gaze had been wandering and snapped back to Sasuke’s. “Nothing! Just keeping you company. Um, I mean... Well…”

His face got a bit redder and he scratched his head, gave a muffled something between a giggle and a laugh.

“It’s just... I was just thinking. Yumiko-chan... You... You and Yumiko-chan aren’t... You know... You’re not dating, are you?”

Sasuke had to frown for a moment and think before he remembered. Then it all came back to him and he knew exactly why he was still standing here looking stupid.

“No,” Sasuke said and hoped he had managed to make it not sound like a moan. “We’re not dating.”

Kawa’s eyes, his entire face, lit up and his grin got even bigger.

“Really?” he said. “You’re really not?”

“She was probably just happy we won,” Sasuke said.

“Yeah!” Kawa exclaimed. “She was probably just happy!”

He giggled and scrunched up his nose in delight. Then he waved and headed off in a jog with a ‘gotta go, bye!’ and a ‘see you tomorrow!’ Sasuke sighed. He had somehow managed to suppress the event. Yumiko had been on Sasuke and Kawa’s team and she had thrown herself around Sasuke’s neck when they won. Technically it could have been that she was just happy, but if Sasuke were to bet money or cigarettes on it, he would have said there was no chance in hell she was not flirting; not with the way the girl had squealed in his ear and rubbed her chest against him, almost toppling them over. Sasuke had had almost a life time to hone his instincts and they were all agreeing. She was flirting. And Naruto had noticed.

The door opened again and two other guys from Sasuke’s class came out, chatting, their hair wet. No retard blond, of course. Naruto wouldn’t show up until the very last minute; he would have to run and wave at the bus driver to wait for him. Really, Sasuke wanted to punch him. Why did Sasuke have to suffer because everyone fell in love with him? It wasn’t like he wanted them to, not like he encouraged them or flirted back or anything like that. He wasn’t even generally nice. It wasn’t his fault.

Sasuke snarled and stuffing his hands in the pockets of his gym pants he started walking. He’d show that stupid jealous blond. Sasuke was not the one that would be suffering. Hopefully there would still some guys left in the changing room to witness Naruto’s embarrassment. Sasuke would make him squirm. He could and he would; he definitely could. He ripped open the glass doors and stalked inside.

When Sasuke came to the locker room there were three guys still there, but unfortunately, judging from their wet hair they had already been in the shower. None of them was Naruto though and the water was still running in the shower room. Well, it might be embarrassing even without an audience. Maybe.

Sasuke pulled his shirt over his head, left it on the bench next to his stuff and then took off his pants and underwear. One guy had time to leave and Sasuke mumbled a ‘see you’ with the others without taking his eyes off the wall. Shit. He wondered when his anger had managed to run away from him. One annoying thought said it was when he had realized it would only be him and Naruto in the showers.

Why couldn’t he hold on to the uncomplicated emotions? Why did they have to always run off him like that? Sure, he was still sort of pissed, but not blindly pissed. He wasn’t pissed enough that he wasn’t nervous. And why was he nervous again? (‘Because I might come before we leave and this is the damned school showers.’) Stupid... Naruto.

The frustration over his inability to hold onto his anger when he needed it was almost enough to make Sasuke angry all over again, but just almost. He grabbed his towel and his shampoo and shower gel bottles and turned towards the rushing water. While on his way, the water stopped running and the last two guys disappeared out the door. Sasuke didn’t bother saying anything in reply to their good byes. He tried and failed to not let the ‘we’re alone now’ get to him.

But when Sasuke came in, slightly more hesitantly than he would have liked to, the showers were empty. There was no stupid blond glaring because Sasuke got hugged by a girl. Sasuke frowned and hung his towels on one of the hooks on the wall. He walked further inside, but still no Naruto. Sasuke sighed, stalked over to the nearest shower and turned it on. The water burned pleasantly against his cold skin. He closed his eyes, let his head fall back and the water hit his face. Really, this was taking way too much energy for something so silly. The blond had probably been in the bathroom sulking when Sasuke came in. It wasn’t exactly Naruto’s style, but he could be sulking this time. Sasuke knew he hadn’t left; he had seen the guy go in and hadn’t seen him leave. Technically he could have crawled out through the window, but why the hell would he do that?

Sasuke realized where the blond was about half a second before the door creaked as it opened and could have groaned at his own stupidity. Opposite the actual showers in the shower room was a wooden door leading to a small sauna with wooden benches and a stove that was never on. Why the hell the school gym showers needed a sauna, especially if it was never on, Sasuke didn’t know, but he didn’t think they had put it in so that students could sneak up on each other. Naruto’s feet made soft and slightly squishy sounds as he moved unstealthily across the wet floor.

“Why are you hiding?” Sasuke asked. Because seriously, why was he hiding? The sound feet came closer.

“I wanted to see you,” Naruto said and Sasuke was both a bit surprised and pleased to hear his voice a bit weaker than it usually was. A bit out of breath. Sasuke had to smile. Looking good did have a few perks besides not gagging when seeing a mirror.

“Was it worth it?”

The sound of the feet had warned him of course, but Sasuke still flinched when the side of Naruto’s face pressed against his back. It was colder than Sasuke’s skin. How long had he been hiding in there?

“Yeah,” the blond said. “I was waiting for you to show up. My fingertips are all wrinkled. Look.”

Arms reached around Sasuke’s body and fingers wiggled in front of his eyes. Sasuke grabbed onto the hands to hold them still so he could watch. They didn’t seem very wrinkled though; didn’t that only happen in the bath? Shouldn’t Sasuke be angry? For what though? Oh yeah, for Naruto making him wait because he was angry about that girl. But Naruto didn’t sound or seem angry.

“I was waiting for you to show up too,” Sasuke muttered, but he wasn’t really angry. He touched the fingertips with his own.

“Sorry,” Naruto said and pressed even closer, rubbed against Sasuke’s back with his face, like a cat. It wasn’t as annoying as it should be. “But I knew you wouldn’t let me make you miss the bus.”

“So you’re not pissed?”

“I’m not pissed,” Naruto said too quickly. “What’s there to be pissed about? I just wanted to see you.”

He tried to sound confused by Sasuke’s question, but Sasuke could clearly hear that he was faking. Naruto had seen and Naruto was so lying about not knowing what Yumiko had done.

“You are pissed,” Sasuke said and turned in Naruto’s arms.

“No, I’m not,” the blond looked stubborn.

“Yes, you are. You suck at lying.”

“No, I don’t,” Naruto narrowed his eyes. “I’m not pissed!”

He was lying, Naruto was jealous and it so showed. It was stupid of him to even attempt to hide it. It was stupid, but for some reason the lie warmed Sasuke’s heart. He wasn’t angry. He wanted to smile and hug the stupid liar, but of course, that wouldn’t do.

“You saw Yumiko flirt with me and it pissed you off. I know you saw. You watch me all the time.”

“Do not,” Naruto pouted and his cheeks reddened.

How come they were suddenly not horny? They were both completely naked and looked even better than usual because of the water. Naruto’s skin was shining. He was much more tanned than Sasuke was and Sasuke felt pale. They shouldn’t be talking at all, they should be making out.

“Whatever,” Sasuke said, smirked and turned around again. The water had stopped running so he grabbed his shampoo bottle and squeezed a yellowish glob of it into his hair. The liquid smelled fresh, lemony. The label on the bottle said it was grapefruit, lemongrass and green tea; Sasuke had checked.

“I just didn’t want you to think I was jealous,” Naruto sounded frustrated and sorry, like ‘come on, don’t be like that...’

“But you are jealous,” Sasuke said.

“I know! I’m sorry! It’s just... I just…”

Sasuke kept shampooing.

“You don’t like it,” Naruto continued, almost whining. “I know you don’t like it, you think I don’t trust you.”

‘I do?’ Sasuke thought and frowned as his fingers worked through his hair.

“But I do! I do trust you, I just... I can’t help it! I hate that everyone knows what I know, that you’re cool and beautiful, and I hate that they try to win you over when you’re...” Naruto stopped himself before he could say ‘mine’. He was quiet for a moment and then he sighed and pressed his head to Sasuke’s back again. His hands were holding onto Sasuke’s hips. “So I didn’t want you to know.”

“But you are jealous,” Sasuke repeated.

“I didn’t want you to know!”

Sasuke turned around. Naruto looked as frustrated and sorry as he had sounded; and a bit frustrated. The blond hair clung to his face and drops of water fell from the ends of it. He was influenced by the head rubbing maybe, but Sasuke couldn’t help but think of a scolded cat in the rain. Really. Sasuke gave a small smile. A smile, not a smirk.

“It’s fine,” he said. “I’ll live.”

Naruto sniffed and pouted. Sasuke rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Look,” he said. “Maybe I like that you’re jealous, have you thought about that?”

The blond frowned and looked suspicious.

“What do you mean ‘like’?”

Sasuke sighed again and turned.

“Hey! What do you mean ‘like’? You don’t like it!”

“If you say so,” Sasuke mumbled and smiled. He wasn’t upset, he wasn’t angry or anything like that. He was feeling okay. Happy was a strong word for him, but it could be the one that was closest to what he felt.

Naruto kept his rant up for a while, going on about how Sasuke was a liar and a bastard for saying stupid things like that. Yeah, so Naruto thought it was cute when Sasuke was jealous but there was no way that Sasuke could like it when Naruto was. ‘Of course you hate it!’ He was so silly. Sometimes the jealousy was annoying, when the blond got overdramatic and overdid it, but a little was okay. A little was just fine; and quite natural when you liked someone, right? It had nothing to do with lack of trust. That it felt just fine and natural was a bit surprising to Sasuke. There had been, and probably still were, tons of guys and girls jealous because of him. There were girls who had crushes on him, guys who had crushes on him, guys he had made out with and guys he hadn’t made out with, but Sasuke had never been flattered. He had lived with it, accepted it as part of being him, but always wished they would just give it a rest already. Though with Naruto it was different.

When the rant session was over (it had gone from frustrated and angry to whiny to apologizing to nothing) Naruto sighed and dropped his forehead back between Sasuke’s shoulder blades.

“You make me so frustrated sometimes,” he said. Sasuke wondered if was healthy to be fifteen year old, guys, going out, alone in a shower, naked and not horny?

“You really like it?” Naruto said and his voice was a bit curious now. His hands wandered around Sasuke’s body and his arms followed.

“I can’t?”

“You can,” Naruto said. He moved closer and put his head on Sasuke’s shoulder, nuzzled his face against Sasuke’s throat. Sasuke let his own hands fall onto Naruto’s and leaned back against the blond. He had finished with the shampoo and rinsed during the rant, now they were just enjoying the fall of the warm water. There were no sounds but the water and nothing to see behind Sasuke’s closed eyelids. He smelled water and lemony shampoo and Naruto. He could feel Naruto’s chest press against his back with every breath he took. Before the blond spoke Sasuke felt his hands tighten ever so slightly, his arms wrap closer. Naruto held his breath for a moment too.

“Sasuke, I... I’ve been thinking, and... You know, we’re... I know this is... kind of... and...”

Sasuke had opened his eyes and was frowning when Naruto gave up and sighed.

“I thought up this great way of saying it that didn’t sound stupid or bad or perverted or anything like that. I wrote it down and practiced like crazy, but then I saw you naked and forgot everything. Stupid brain. So I’m just gonna say it.”

Naruto settled the side of his face against the side of Sasuke’s face.

“You wanna do it? You know... Tomorrow?”

Sasuke had seen it coming, felt it coming ever since he found out about the weekend without parents. He’d thought about it too. It was such a classic. Maybe not as much as doing it in the back seat of a car, but enough. It was a typical, normal teenager thing to do. ‘The parents are out, let’s do it!’ He had felt it coming, but hearing the words spoken out loud still affected him. It made him warm and cold at the same time.

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No.

Yes!

I mean... Of course I do.

I do? I think. Why shouldn’t I want to? Everyone wants to.

But I’m not everyone, I’m fucked up.

That has nothing to do with this. I’m normal when it comes to being a guy and having hormones, I don’t have any problems like that. So of course I want to.

Right?

Why is my heart beating so fast? Remember to breathe.

I’m breathing.

Why does it bother me so much? I’ve already almost done it. This is different but... Yeah, this is different, so it will work out. Of course I want to.

Right?

-

“What?” Sasuke said, then his throat unexpectedly failed and he had to swallow to wet it. “You don’t want to wait for the wedding night?”

Sasuke felt Naruto flinch and he suddenly became very aware of how close they were standing to each other. He took note of every part of his body that Naruto was touching with his.

“Well, I...” Naruto began and then he had to swallow too. It was ironic; they were soaked but their throats were dry. “If- If you want to, I suppose...”

“It was a joke,” Sasuke said.

“Oh! Oh... O-okay.”

It was like they were scared to move, scared to change anything. They just stood there close together and when the water stopped running neither of them turned it back on. Sasuke found himself wishing that Naruto would just forget about it. ‘Change the subject,’ he thought. ‘Go back to being cheerful and childish and say we have to get out of here before we miss the bus. Stop pretending to be a grown-up when you can’t even stop trembling.’ Naruto was trembling. And he swallowed again.

“You don’t want to?” Naruto didn’t change the subject.

Sasuke could hear that he tried to sound normal, like it was okay either way. ‘I don’t mind if you don’t want to.’ And he almost pulled it off, but not entirely. There was a hint of disappointment in his voice. Of course! There should be, right? Nothing wrong with that. Disappointment. Sasuke should have had to worry if Naruto hadn’t sounded disappointed.

The rest had he just imagined. It hadn’t really been there, coloring Naruto’s voice together with almost hidden disappointment, it was Sasuke’s stupid imagination. Naruto had not been surprised. ‘He doesn’t want to? I thought he did it all the time with everyone.’ It was stupid and idiotic and Sasuke knew that Naruto didn’t think that and wasn’t like that, but... No, it hadn’t been there.

“I didn’t say that,” Sasuke said and managed to fill his tone with amusement, because of course he wanted to.

“Really?” Naruto wanted to know for sure.

“I want to,” Sasuke said.

Naruto smiled, Sasuke could both feel it and hear it. Naruto moved, finally moved; cuddled closer and wrapped his arms tighter.

“Yay,” he purred softly and pressed a kiss to the skin just below Sasuke’s jawbone. Sasuke swallowed.

‘Of course I want to.’

-

“Now, you two behave,” Iruka said with a very serious look on his face. “I want the houses to be intact, the neighbors to be happy and no one missing when we get back. There’s food in the fridge at our place for tonight and food in the freezer for tomorrow and Sunday. Eat it. No take-out!”

Kakashi and Iruka had taken Friday off and would be leaving before Sasuke and Naruto went to school. Long before actually, no sane person was supposed to be up this early, but apparently they had some boat to catch. Sasuke had no idea how Kakashi had managed to talk Iruka into a cruise (a car trip you could always turn back around if you got worried, but a boat?), and he didn’t want to know. It couldn’t be safe knowledge. Still, Sasuke was very grateful for Kakashi’s skills in persuasion. They could have gotten stuck with the Gai guy as their baby sitter; now they just got a small book worth of notes with rules, regulations and warnings, a menu and every phone number they could possibly need for every situation that Iruka and Kakashi could think of, from likely to highly unlikely (Kakashi was responsible for most of the highly unlikely ones). It was like Naruto had never been alone before in his life!

They were standing in the hall (Sasuke’s house); it was very early morning and they were getting their last warnings from Iruka. Kakashi had gone to put bags in the car.

“And I’m probably just wasting my breath,” Iruka muttered and his very serious face got even more serious. “But no sex! I know exactly what you’re thinking, but trust me; it’s not a good idea. You’re fifteen years old. It may feel like you’re all grown up but you’re not. You’re kids! Play with... the Playstation instead!”

Sasuke had expected it, but it was still embarrassing. Definitely embarrassing. Even more so because they were actually going to do it. It would have been a whole different thing if Iruka was just being overdramatic and delusional, but he wasn’t. He was so right it was scary. Not that it took a genius to come to the conclusion. Damn, Sasuke hated being predictable. His head was hurting. It was too early in the morning. Because it was so early and because he should be embarrassed because Iruka was on to them, Sasuke dared to hope that Naruto would leave Iruka’s speech alone. He could just accept it for what it was; a silly and embarrassing parent thing and not a personal challenge. But of course not, since when was Sasuke lucky and Naruto not Naruto?

“We’re not kids!” the blond almost shouted. “Fifteen is not kids. It’s teenager. And you don’t have to be a grown-up to... to do things! Lee and Gaara do things all the time and you don’t complain about them! We...! Ah...”

Naruto stopped talking and took a step back. Iruka took a step forward and he looked murderous, a finger in the air as if it was a sword. The air was so thick with threat it was a miracle there was any oxygen left. Sasuke was impressed. Naruto intimidated? Was that even possible?

“W-We’ll be good,” Naruto squeaked out eventually. Apparently it was possible.

“No sex,” Iruka hissed and stepped back again. “We’ll be back Sunday night.”

“Be good and have fun!” Kakashi said, coming back from car just then as if he’d sensed the danger and waited for it to pass (and of course he had). “Don’t do anything I... Err... Iruka wouldn’t do. Yes, that’s right.”

Iruka sniffed approvingly. Then he transformed from ticking bomb to loving parent as quickly as he had become the ticking bomb (Naruto’s sudden mood swings weren’t such a surprise anymore). Iruka smiled and gave Naruto a hug, kissed his head and ruffled his hair.

“Be good,” he said and then did the same with Sasuke, only more casually and without kissing and hair-ruffling. Kakashi tried to make up for it, because he was an idiot, but only had time to do the hair before Sasuke stopped him with a threatening glare.

The next minute they were in the car, rolling down the driveway, and Naruto and Sasuke stood in the door waving more or less enthusiastic. Naruto yelled ‘have fun!’ Despite the chilly air, he didn’t close the door until the car was out of sight. The first thing he did was threw his hands in the air and yell ‘yay! Home alone!’ Sasuke grumbled and announced he was going back to bed.

Usually Sasuke would never let an overly excited Naruto into his bed at such an early hour, but somehow the blond managed to get in. For a moment Sasuke wondered if maybe he didn’t have the patience to wait until after school, with doing it, sex; but the blond fell asleep almost as soon as he crawled under the covers.

Sasuke lay awake for a moment, thinking and listening to Naruto breathe. He felt restless; itchy. He had a feeling something was on its way.

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