Sexy no Omake

It had been several months since that day, and there still was no sign of
Gai. Well, aside from the unidentifiable body that was found floating in
the river several weeks later, but that had never been officially
recognised as being that of Konoha’s green beast. But now, exactly six
months later, the stark monochrome lines of shinobi dressed in their
black kimono were beginning to gather around the monument to Konoha’s
heroes as a last honour to the man. Gai had finally been declared dead
just the day before, and today was the day where everybody had come to
say their last farewells. There would be no grave; the only marks Gai
would leave were his name carved into the cold stone, and his memory in the
hearts and minds of those who had known him.

Kakashi had arrived late. For once this was not out of laziness, but from not
being sure if he could bear the funeral. As he walked the streets, he
caught sight of a few people he recognized, their reactions... the only
really loud sound came from ahead, a loud sobbing and wailing that was
unmistakably Lee. As Kakashi moved closer he could see that Tenten had
her arms around the boy, being as comforting as she could, while Neji --
although not giving any physical contact -- was standing far closer to
the two than he normally did, expression unreadable. Lee was sobbing
openly and loudly, ignoring the looks from people passing by at a faster
pace. A pang of guilt entered Kakashi's chest. He had been selfish,
thinking he was the only one to truly understand what it meant to lose
Gai. Kakashi was not the only person the 'green beast of Konoha' had left
behind. From what Kakashi could tell, Gai had been the closest thing to
family for Lee, as well.

Carefully, he made his way over to the group of students. No words were
needed between them; Tenten knew of Kakashi and Gai's relationship, and
from the sympathy in Lee's expression when he looked up at Kakashi, she
had obviously told him as well. No sooner had Kakashi opened his mouth
to try and find some words of consolation than Lee had detached from Tenten
and took to holding Kakashi and crying loudly. Really, out of everyone in
Konoha, only Kakashi could truly understand the pain he felt right now.
Kakashi simply put an arm around Lee, nodded to Tenten and Neji, and
continued on with the emotional boy in tow.

They garnered quite a few curious glances, the loudly sobbing boy and
the remote-seeming ANBU, but since just about every person present had
been witness to either Gai voraciously embracing his student or Kakashi
being challenged by Gai as his eternal rival, they simply took it in
stride as visible influence of the departed.

Once everybody had grouped around the stone, Tsunade stepped forward. The
Hokage's eyes were red from the tears the woman had shed for her last
remaining student when ordering his name to be carved into the monument
behind her. Looking over the solemn faces gathered there, she finally
nodded. "We are here today to pay our final respects to one of Konoha's
treasured children," she began, her voice calm and collected, too many
years of having played this role, too many precious people lost to her
for her to waver in her task.

Next to Kakashi, Lee muffled a particularly loud wail against Kakashi's
side. He could only stroke Lee's hair and be a physical presence for the
boy as he watched, almost... detached from the situation. It all seemed
so unreal. A part of Kakashi had always believed Gai would somehow live
forever. Both he and Lee exuded that aura of immortality. They were just
larger than life, in their own ways. But here they were, and now all
Maito Gai was ... was a name on a stone and a figment of memories.
Numbly, Kakashi glanced around to the other faces. Neji stood with his
family, stoic. Tenten was with her own family as well, her only sign of
grief how tightly she was holding on to the hand of... the Nara boy?
Well, that was a surprise. He turned his gaze back to Tsunade, but found
it incredibly hard to focus. He would not cry, a ninja did not show tears.

And Lee seemed determined to cry enough for the both of them.

Tsunade continued, talking about Gai's life, from his days at the
academy over the time he spent as her student to his rise through the
ranks, until he decided to give up being a teacher for Konoha's sake and
rejoined the ANBU. In a way it was ironic that it wasn't one of the
notoriously difficult and suicidal ANBU missions that had claimed his
life, but a normal Jounin mission. Finally she came to a stop, and
glanced over the crowd once more to see if there was anybody in the
assembly that would care to add to what she had said. Before the
ceremony she had offered this both to his students and Kakashi.

Neji said nothing, it was not his way. Lee was too emotional to get out
any coherent words, so of Gai's team the task fell to Tenten. She left
Shikamaru's side to join Tsunade-sama. Normally Tenten would
be elated to be this close to her own idol, but in such a case, even
that seemed dull and ironic at best. She spoke of Gai as a teacher, a
few things her mother had told her about him as a young man, the way he
affected everyone with his enthusiasm -- no matter how over-the-top it
could be. When she was finished, she looked to Kakashi on instinct.

As much as he felt he should say something, how Gai's existence
shouldn't be brought down to a name on a stone and a few memories...
when Kakashi went to speak, he found himself unknowing of what could be
said about someone like Gai. There was so much, how could it ever be
summed up with a few stories or trite phrases? In the end, Kakashi
settled on the only thing he could say about Gai.

"...He was a good man."

And with that Kakashi returned to help console the grieving Lee.

Nodding, Tsunade produced a small bunch of white flowers. They were plain
little things that could be found growing everywhere in Konoha, so the
flower shop didn't even bother selling them. Laying them against the
monument, she bowed her head, praying not only for Gai but for all those
that had given their life for Konoha before she stepped away. That was
the signal for the other mourners to approach.

Lee was the first, and Kakashi was the last. It was fitting, somehow. He
waited for everyone else before approaching the stone. A million
thoughts ran through his head. A million apologies, accusations,
regrets... he knew too many names on that stone. To anyone else,
Kakashi's expression was unreadable behind his mask and hitai-ate as he
stared in silence.

Slowly the people began to drift away until only a small handful
remained. The clicking of heels behind him alerted Kakashi to the
approach of Tsunade. Stopping behind and to the side, she waited a moment
before she spoke. "He left his will with me ..."

"He had a will?" Kakashi paused. Well, that was a stupid thought. Of
course he had a will. He was a ninja, he knew his time on this world was
limited. "...Well, what does it say?" Kakashi assumed it had something
to do with him, as Tsunade was speaking to him. Gai's team was a few feet
away, though Shikamaru stood by as well, presumably for Tenten. A few
feet away Hinata was halfway hiding behind a tree, watching Neji.

"It leaves all his worldly assets to you and Lee to do with as you
please. Also..." She stopped for a moment. "He left this with me when
he changed it, he said it was for you." She handed Kakashi a simple
white envelope.

Kakashi blinked, slowly. He gave Tsunade a numb nod, taking the white
envelope. What could be inside? Well, no point in waiting... he opened
the envelope, not waiting for Tsunade to leave.

Several pages filled with Gai's characteristic scrawl fell into his
hand, the top simply addressed to Kakashi. Apparently Gai had a lot to
say even after his death. Tsunade turned away and joined Gai's team to
express her condolences over the loss of their teacher, telling Lee the
same thing as Kakashi about Gai’s will; then she left, presumably headed
back to her office to drown this day in sake.

Kakashi paused. He really hadn't been expecting Gai to write him a damn
novel in the event of his death... but then again, Gai was always
surprising him. With a sense of weariness, he put the letter into his
pocket for the time being. At Lee's questioning glance, Kakashi just
shook his head.

"It can wait for a few days while you grieve, Lee," he said, and was
about to head back home, but something stopped him. When Gai had gone
missing, he had taken on the prince as his own responsibility, and
somehow... he felt he should somehow take care of Lee now, as well.
Turning back, he walked over to Lee, performed a few seals, and summoned
Pakkun.

"...Lee," Kakashi began, not quite sure what to say. "...Pakkun has been
with me for a long time. He helped me when my father died, when my
team-mates died, and when my teacher died... He'll take care of you now,
for as long as you need."

"Kakashi-san..."

"Kakashi-kun..."

Kakashi shook his head again at the protests given. "Pakkun, what I need
right now is for you to take care of Lee. That's what will help me the
most. Lee, Pakkun knows how to help you with these things. He's an
expert. I... that's the best I can do. I'm sorry, I can't be... I can't
be Gai--" even saying his name made Kakashi choke up. He knew he was
going to lose it soon. The comforting numbness was already slipping
away. "But I'll do the best I can. The spare key for my place is taped
on the inside of the gutter to the upper left of my door; my home is
always open for you, even if I'm not there."

With that he had to leave, he couldn't stay there any longer. He hoped
Yukio was out, or would at least give him some privacy. He needed alcohol.

Yukio had not, in fact, been far away. Although he hadn't felt right
joining the mourners, he had watched from a distance as Gai's colleagues
and loved ones said farewell to the man. Watching Kakashi with that boy
who looked like a younger version of Gai had caused the ugly feeling of
jealousy to rise once again. Although Kakashi had taken over his
training, Yukio was no closer to achieving his goal than he had been under
Gai's tutelage. In fact, it seemed as if Kakashi was even more distant
now, as well as fully focused on finding Gai. Nothing that Yukio had said
had managed to persuade the ANBU that the body that had been found was
Gai's, something Yukio was fully convinced of. Still, maybe with Gai
officially declared dead, the silver haired man would stop obsessing over
his lost lover and pay more attention to what was right in front of him.
Seeing Kakashi leave, he secretly followed the man, partially out of
curiosity and partially out of worry that Kakashi would do something
drastic.

Kakashi headed right home. He had enough alcohol in his house to last
him for the time being, anyway. He always kept a gross amount hidden in
case of emergencies. His thoughts kept degrading more and more with each
step he took. How he had failed someone else, how if he'd only rejected
the solo mission that day and gone with Gai and Yukio instead... by the
time he got inside his apartment, he didn't even bother closing the door. He
went straight to the alcohol and knocked back half a bottle to stem the flow
of tears that threatened to overcome him.

Standing in front of the door, Yukio worried at his lower lip with his
teeth. Maybe he should leave Kakashi to his grief for the time being,
let him get it out of his system, so to speak, before making any kind of
advances. With no other place to go, he simply sat down in front of the
door. He let his legs dangle over the edge of the walkway and watched
Konoha's daily life go on several meters further down, while listening to
any noises that might come from the flat at his back.

There was the sound of the cupboard closing, and Kakashi crossing the
room to go into his bedroom. Once more, he didn't even bother to close
the door. A shuffling of clothing, the hitai-ate tossed aside, and...

Crying?

Kakashi, who had remained stone-face through everything so far, was
unable to hold back any longer and was crying quietly in his room.

Yukio felt his stomach clench at the heartbreaking sounds of Kakashi's
tears, and for a moment he urgently wished that all this was only a bad
dream and that Gai would suddenly storm into the apartment to offer
comfort.. Anything to just stop these sounds that seemed torn straight
from the soul of a man usually so composed.

Yukio's wish went unanswered, though. Kakashi cried for what seemed like
hours before he finally fell silent. And then there were no sounds from
the bedroom at all.

Worried, Yukio stood and slowly moved towards the open door as one
might approach a dangerous animal. Pushing it open just far enough
that he could slip into the room, he made his way into the flat, taking
great care to make as little noise as possible. Reaching the bedroom
door, he pushed it open as well, holding his breath and hoping that he
would not need to call a medic to deal with whatever he might see.

Inside, Kakashi had apparently drained the rest of the bottle, because it
was empty and discarded on the floor. He had stripped down to his pants
and hadn't even bothered getting under the blankets, having apparently
just collapsed onto the bed and fallen asleep. He held a pillow tightly
against his chest, grief apparent even in slumber, his face tearstained and
an occasional quiet, shuddering sob escaping his lips. Despite his clear
strength, he seemed so fragile. Pale and weak, he had lost weight over the
last few months and now looked far too thin. He hadn't been eating
properly -- if at all -- and his eyelids were bruised from lack of sleep.

Unsure of his welcome, but still determined to take as much care of the
ninja as Kakashi would allow, Yukio cautiously made his way over to the
bed. There he spent a moment simply staring at Kakashi, the way the
man's body was sprawled over the sheets as if dead himself, and the
obvious signs that Kakashi wasn't taking care of himself as well as he
should. Getting a cover from his cot in the living room, Yukio gently
pulled it over the sleeping man, hoping that he hadn't already caught a
cold, and sat down next to him on the bed to gently stroke the wild
silver hair.

Kakashi, surprisingly, did not wake as the boy pulled the blanket over
him. He remained in his restless sleep brought on by the alcohol and
exhaustion. He moved only when Yukio stroked his hair, shifting to
almost nuzzle at his hand. "...Gai..." he murmured, almost inaudible.

Frowning a bit at Kakashi calling his rival's name, Yukio nevertheless
continued his gentle ministrations, hoping that he was providing at
least a small hint of comfort to the other man. "Shh, it's alright," he
murmured, rubbing his thumb over Kakashi's troubled brow.

Kakashi was finally starting to relax, it seemed, with Yukio's care.
Still, his sleep was not entirely restful and his eyes opened halfway,
looking at Yukio. They were fogged; he was still quite drunk with
alcohol and grief. "...nnn..."

Yukio smiled and petted his cheek. "Go back to sleep," he suggested,
keeping his voice low in an effort to lull Kakashi back into slumber.

Kakashi just nodded numbly, letting his eyes close. He was soon back to
a restless sleep, staying that way for several hours before he began to
wake again.

Yuki, having stayed with him, had a while ago drifted off himself, his hand
still twined in the silver hair.

Kakashi slowly removed himself from Yukio, standing and stumbling back
to the kitchen. He was pretty sure he had sake somewhere.

Stirring as Kakashi moved, Yukio slowly stood and followed the older man.
"Kakashi-san?" he asked in what he hoped was a level voice. "Maybe you
should get some more sleep? I can go and get something for dinner."

"Don't feel like eating," Kakashi replied, steadying himself against the
counter as he opened the sake bottle.

"But you've lost at least a stone in the last month alone," Yukio argued,
watching unhappily as Kakashi opened the sake bottle. "You'll get
alcohol poisoning if you continue like that."

"That's the idea," Kakashi muttered, drinking as fast as he could. "And
I'm just not hungry."

Scowling, Yukio grabbed the sake bottle and tugged it away from Kakashi
before folding his arms over his chest. "Then it's a bad idea," he countered.
"Now go sit down somewhere while I call for takeout, which you will eat,"
he added in an unmistakable voice of command.

Kakashi coughed, spilling some of the sake on himself and the counter.
He tried to give Yukio a sour glare, but he wasn't coherent enough to
pull it off in the least. Surprisingly, though, he actually listened to
the boy and stumbled to the couch.

Satisfied with this, Yukio called the usual place they got their takeout
from, a small family-run place close by that Gai had found on one of his
morning runs and that had the most delicious dumplings. Making his order,
he sighed as he looked over at Kakashi sitting on the couch and went to
sit next to him. "Food will be here in 10 minutes," he offered in an
attempt to engage the man in conversation.

Kakashi leaned back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling with
unfocused eyes. "...okay," he said, just when it became debatable whether
or not he had even heard Yukio at all.

Yukio followed his gaze up to the ceiling for a moment before he bit his
bottom lip and looked back down. "You really loved him, didn't you?" he
asked softly, peeking at Kakashi from underneath his bangs. Maybe if he
got Kakashi to open up about this, he could gauge how his chances stood
with the other man.

"...it doesn't really matter, does it?" Kakashi replied, numbly, as he
stared off into space. "He's gone. Everyone I love dies. I shouldn't
have let him make me think otherwise."

Swallowing around a lump in his throat Yukio reached out and placed his
hand over Kakashi's. "I'm sorry," he whispered, a sense of guilt once
again wrapping around his heart for a moment until he pushed it
violently away. "Maybe I can...make you feel better?" It was pretty
shameless, but then he'd had to go without sex for far too long, and
Kakashi had a way of making his blood heat, especially now that he wasn't
wearing his mask.

Just before Kakashi could respond, a confused expression on his face, there
came a knock at the door. The food had arrived early.

Cursing mentally, Yukio stood and opened the door, quickly paying the
delivery boy before turning back to Kakashi. "Let's get some food into
you," he muttered, placing the takeout boxes on the table.

"I'm really not hungry," Kakashi said, making one last weak protest.

"You haven't been hungry for weeks," Yukio countered, opening the boxes
and letting the tempting aroma drift through the room. "You have to eat,
and that's final." Jutting out his chin, he stared defiantly at Kakashi,
daring him to argue further.

The truth was, Kakashi really DIDN'T feel like he was hungry. That was
because his stomach had gone numb to protect itself from hunger pangs,
he was so far along in malnutrition. But he hoped that if he ate something,
then maybe Yukio would allow him the rest of the sake, and slowly
reached out with weak limbs to eat.

Yukio, in return, hoped that once Kakashi was forced to eat his body would
make him realize just how hungry he really was, and watched with eagle
eyes as Kakashi reached for the food.

That certainly seemed to be how it worked. Once Kakashi had started to
eat, his body responded with a SHARP pain in his chest; it felt like
getting stabbed repeatedly with a very sharp kunai, and in Kakashi's
weakened state he actually let out a whimper of pain before continuing
to eat with shaking hands.

Although he was worried, even more now that he had heard the usually
stoic man voice his pain, Yukio let him eat; he had only ordered enough
for one person and had kept the second box for himself, since he had read
somewhere that too much food after a period of starvation was just as bad.
Really, it almost made him angry at Gai to see Kakashi suffering like
this only because Gai had decided to play hero at the worst possible
time, leaving the scarecrow ninja on his own.

Finally, Kakashi set down the chopsticks and crossed his arms over his
lap, curling up just a little. His face was hidden by his silvery mop of
hair when he spoke again. "... Can I have the rest of the sake now?" he
asked, wanting to get back to getting smashed out of his mind.

Yukio ran a hand through his hair, tugging in frustration at the silken
strands that were his pride and joy. "Fine, but then I'm locking away
the rest of the alcohol," he finally agreed, knowing of nothing else he
could do.

"Deal," Kakashi murmured, knowing full well he could go and buy more
some other time. He reached out for the sake and made short work of the
rest of the bottle, quickly -- and happily -- returning to that hazy,
dream-like state of mind.

He just hoped that Kakashi wasn't going to throw up with the enormous
amount of alcohol he already had in his body, thereby making all the
work Yukio had had done in getting him to actually eat pointless. Looking
over at the once again deeply-inebriated man, Yukio touched his shoulder
gently, as if he was afraid that Kakashi would break under his fingers.
"Maybe you should lie down again. You need more sleep." And not in a
drunken haze, but he didn't add that, knowing it would be futile at the
moment.

Kakashi slowly turned to look at Yukio. In this light, his hair looked
dark... and he had filled out a little... and Kakashi was so terribly
lonely and heartbroken right now... and very, very inebriated. "Lie down
with me?" he asked as his mind began to work out how it was perfectly
acceptable to believe that Gai was here with him right now, how it made
total sense.

Surprised, but happily so, Yukio nodded. "Sure." Offering Kakashi his hand
to help him get to his feet, he couldn't help but smile a little.

Kakashi took Yukio's hand up, standing. He leaned against the smaller
man on the way to the bedroom, having to rely on his solid weight to
keep from toppling over in the spinning room.

Steering Kakashi to the bed was more of a challenge than he had expected,
and Yukio was thankful that Gai had had him working on developing his
whole body musculature and not just his arms as he caught the other man,
barely preventing him from crashing to the floor. Giving him a small push,
Yukio watched Kakashi fall onto the bed that seemed somehow...incomplete,
as if some part were missing, but he shook away that thought as he stretched
out next to the drunken ninja.

Kakashi curled up next to Yukio, pressing as close to him as possible,
hugging him as though he was the pillow he'd previously had in his arms.
The solid form was... comforting. He could believe Yukio was Gai. Of
course he was Gai. Gai was here, safe, next to him...

Stroking Kakashi's back in a comforting gesture, Yukio blushed as he felt
his body react to the other man's closeness, and pressed quite
insistently not only against his trousers but also Kakashi himself.

"Saa... you want something from me?" Kakashi said, still reeking of
alcohol, but... very compliant.

Seeing his chance, Yukio propped himself up and looked down at Kakashi. "
Only what I have wanted ever since I met you," he murmured boldly,
cupping a flushed cheek with his free hand and stroking his thumb over
the corner of those tempting lips.

It could work. It was close enough, really. Gai had just changed, but it
was clearly Gai. Gai had wanted Kakashi for a long time, too, hadn't he?
Wasn't that what he'd told Kakashi the first time they'd made love?
Kakashi's only answer to Yukio was to swipe his tongue over those
perfect lips, over Yukio's thumb as well.

Yukio almost couldn't believe his luck, but didn't hesitate to bend over
and touch his lips to Kakashi's quickly, searching out that teasing
tongue with his own. On top of that, if he read the signals right it
looked as if Kakashi wanted to bottom for him. It felt as if all his
dreams were coming true at the same time.

Kakashi slid his hands up Yukio's -- no, no, GAI'S -- arms to rest on his
shoulders, eagerly meeting the intrusive tongue with his own. His
movements were not quite as smooth as usual with his current state, but
enough to respond to Yukio's movements in kind.

Moving so that his body covered most of Kakashi, Yukio pressed into the
kiss skilfully, his hips rubbing against Kakashi's, demanding an
answering response. Although he hadn't actually taken anybody yet, Yukio
was more than familiar with the way a top acted. Finally having to break
away, he pressed more kisses to Kakashi's cheek. "I want you," he
muttered, his hand moving down to explore Kakashi's nether regions.

Kakashi only moaned in response, lost in the sensations Yukio was
bearing down on him and happy to not be thinking for the time being. He
let his eyes close and instead slid a leg up around Yukio's hips to pull
him closer, press them more fully together.

Yukio groaned blissfully before moving away enough to strip off his shirt.
He desperately wanted to feel Kakashi's skin against his. "Let me make
love to you," he asked, pressing their bare skin together and kissing his way
up Kakashi's throat.

"Yes, yes..." Kakashi gasped, tilting his head back. This had to be Gai,
only Gai would make love to him like this, be so bold like this. "Take
me--" Gai's name was cut off by a desperate moan.

Licking down the pale skin again, Yukio made his way further south until
he had reached the fabric covering Kakashi from the waist down. Sitting
up, he grasped it at each side and swiftly tugged it off the other man.
Just seeing Kakashi's erection made his mouth water, and he couldn't
resist placing a swift kiss to the swollen head before quickly getting
rid of his clothing as well, rejoining Kakashi on the bed.

Already flushed and gasping, Kakashi watched Yukio in the darkness of
the room with a heated, fogged gaze. The Jounin spread his legs
invitingly, ready to welcome Gai home.

Moving as if in a dream Yukio prepared the willingly offered body before
sliding into the welcoming heat. It didn't take long for it to overwhelm
him and soon he was spilling his seed inside Kakashi.

Holding on to Yukio's shoulders for support, Kakashi let Yukio take him
with him, cumming shortly afterwards.

It was Gai's name that he cried out.

With the alcohol, the overwhelming stress, and then this, it wasn't
really any surprise that he started to drift off.

Gai's name was like a bucket of cold water poured over Yukio's head.
Nonetheless, he curled up against Kakashi as the Jounin drifted off
to sleep. At least he had been able to make his fondest wish come true.
In time, he was sure he could make Kakashi forget about Gai until the day
the silver-haired man spread his legs for HIM and called HIS name in
ecstasy. Over these thoughts the younger man fell asleep.