In the cold of space you find the heat of suns

Apologies if the characters have grown differently in their new environment.

Author's note. Thank you for the reviews, both those from readers who have been with me from the beginning and from those who are new to this fic.

Spacer crews travel the Far Borders and the Fringe of occupied space, trading. Spacing is an ancient and honourable profession carved out by millenniums. Most spacers start out as fourteen-year-old boys seeking a future. Few survive a decade spacing.

48. Standing firm

Sasuke managed to contain himself as they moved out of the villa, lifted and docked. He pretended to ignore Naruto’s watchfulness, Shikamaru’s anxiety and Iruka’s concern. He ordered Rin to his office as they exited the Sakura, followed her in and shut the door.

“How long is Naruto’s lifespan?” he demanded.

Rin’s chin came up and her nostrils flared slightly. “I cannot answer that question. It is a matter of confidentiality.”

Sasuke clung to the edge of his temper. “How long would you expect a fox-human hybrid to live, if he or she died of old age,” he asked through clenched teeth.

“That is impossible to answer. Each hybrid is unique.”

Sasuke lost it. He slammed Rin into the wall, his forearm pinning her across the collarbones. “Tell me how long Naruto has to live,” he snarled. He could see that Rin was still considering refusing. He shifted his arm to press against her throat.

“Based on telomere analysis, another twenty standards, if he dies of old age,” she admitted.

The anger was washed away by dread. He let her down carefully, walked to his desk and sat down. As a human on age retard, Sasuke could expect to be active for more than a hundred standards. Naruto would be dead at forty.

“Does he know?” Sasuke asked.

Rin hesitated. “I have told him. I have also told him that age retard only works on humans and that he cannot have nanobots. He never reacts when I tell him such things. You saw what he was like when we were discussing children.”

Sasuke’s gut twisted. “No age retard?” he whispered; Naruto would spend most of his remaining time aging or aged.

“The standard age retard will not work,” she confirmed. “I have started researching treatments. I do not think we will be able to extend his lifespan but we may be able to delay the symptoms of aging.”

“Thank you, Rin-san,” Sasuke replied. “Please continue the research. Perhaps you should contact the scientist you mentioned.”

“Kabuto,” Rin confirmed. “Yes, I will do that.”

Sasuke was empty. “I apologise, Rin-san, for my behaviour. I would appreciate it if you did not discuss this with anyone. Please close the door on your way out.”

“Sasuke-sama,” she acknowledged and withdrew.


Naruto had seen the small, cruel smile on Klennethon Darrent’s lips as he obliterated Sasuke’s innocence. He had been suspicious of him on their first meeting and disliked him greatly after his play for Shikamaru. He now loathed him.

Sasuke had been hiding in his office since speaking to Rin. It was as Naruto had feared. This had been his reason for keeping the truth from Sasuke as long as possible; Sasuke would obsess about the aging, dying and dead Naruto.

The others were beginning to worry. Asuma had tried consulting Sasuke about fitting the improver and been ordered to see to it in his role of captain. He and Kakashi had taken Shikamaru and Neji with them to speak to the engineers; Neji to divine their intent and Shikamaru to glean what information they could about how the improver worked.

“Naruto-kun?” Iruka asked gently from the open doorway to the room he and Sasuke shared. “Have you and Sasuke argued?”

“Not yet,” answered Naruto truthfully. “Klennethon Darrent told Sasuke something.”

“Is it something I should know?” Iruka asked.

“Probably,” Naruto admitted. Shikamaru knew, but Naruto did not know if anyone else had worked it out. “Maybe we should go to the galley?”


Iruka took it well. He was far more concerned about Naruto than about the future. It was nice.

“It is another part of being me,” Naruto explained, “like the monogamy and the berserker thing.” He decided not to mention the not being able to have children thing. “I have known about it for ages. Rin told me. It didn’t seem that bad. Before I joined the Silver Leaf I never knew if I would live to see another day.”

“But you did not tell Sasuke,” Iruka observed.

Naruto merely looked at him.

Iruka sighed. “We will have to help him come to terms with it.” He finished making tea and placed a cup in front of Naruto. “Now, can you tell me what is wrong with Shikamaru?”

Naruto was thankful to think about someone else. They had agreed not to keep the close call a secret. “Klennethon Darrent tricked Shikamaru into having a private meeting without telling Sasuke.”

Iruka was horrified. “How bad was it?” he asked.

“We are lucky that Shi-chan made it back,” Naruto admitted. “Klennethon Darrent wanted him. It is difficult imagining him not getting something he wanted.”

Iruka shook his head. “Sometimes I think that being with Neji has been bad for him.”

Naruto twitched his whiskers. “Sometimes?” he queried. “It was fine before they fucked.” He took in Iruka’s reaction. “You agree.”

“I encouraged Shikamaru to submit to him,” Iruka confessed. “I thought it would be a way forward. I never meant it as an end in itself.”


It had been good to talk to Iruka. It had helped Naruto make a difficult decision; he had to make Sasuke accept him for what he was. He would no longer comfort him when he started brooding about things that could not be, like little Narutos and having Naruto with him for the whole of his life. Sasuke could stew in his office for as long as it took; Naruto was not going to him.

Instead Naruto was going to help Shi-chan.

Neji returned from meeting with the engineers first, leaving Shikamaru to continue learning about the improver. Naruto waited until Neji went to his ridiculously neat room and then knocked on the doorjamb.

Neji looked up from what he was doing. “Naruto-san?”

Naruto chose to take that as an invitation and stepped over the threshold. “I wish to speak to you about Shi-chan in my role as his best friend.” He closed the door behind him. He could smell Neji’s fear. Maybe he was right to be a little frightened but Naruto did not want him to be too scared to think. He sat down on the floor.

Neji hesitantly sat on the bed.

“Shi-chan has told you about his meeting with Klennethon Darrent?” he queried.

“Yes. He says it was an error in judgement,” Neji said in a voice that was little more than a whisper.

“You should have seen it coming,” Naruto accused. “It is your job to read people.”

Neji looked away. “I cannot read Shikamaru. He is too complex.”

Naruto was not going to be deflected. “He should have told you. You are his lover.”

“He did not tell you,” Neji retaliated. “You are his best friend. He did not tell Sasuke. He is sworn to Sasuke.” Neji’s aggression fell away. “We almost lost him, Naruto.”

So Neji knew the true extent of the danger. Naruto chose his sharpest dart and launched it. “He is lonelier now than before he met you.”

There were tears in Neji’s pale eyes. “I know. He would be better off without me.”

Naruto imagined Shi-chan after Neji had told him he did not want him. “No!” Naruto ordered. “You make it work.” He considered. “Go to Haku. Haku understands weird sex-stuff. If you sort the sex-stuff it will work. It worked before you fucked. Shi-chan was happy then.”

“Haku?” Neji queried.

“Haku,” Naruto insisted with confidence. “He understands Fu. And Tatsuji. I will speak to Haku so that he expects you.”

Neji blinked. “Thank you, Naruto-san,” he said, doubtfully.


He went directly to the other crew room. As he had a room there he did not require permission to enter. He was pleased to see that Haku’s door was open and that he was inside.

“Haku-san, may I speak with you?” Naruto asked.

“Naruto-san,” Haku acknowledged. “Of course. It is a pleasure.” He gestured Naruto inside and towards the bed.

Naruto slid the door shut behind him and sat on the bed. Haku sat on the stool with his back to the mirror.

“Shikamaru and Neji,” Naruto began.

Haku rolled his eyes.

Naruto was relieved that Haku understood. “Please sort Neji out,” he said simply. “I have asked him to come to you.”

Haku considered and then nodded. “I will try. I will also speak with Shikamaru. It may be best to work with them together.”

Naruto stood up. “Thank you, Haku-san.” He was struck by a sudden thought. “I will be opening up my room here. You are queen of this part of the ship. It is correct that I should tell you.”

Haku looked stunned. “Naruto?” he queried.

“It is between me and Sasuke,” Naruto warned.

Haku bowed. “Naruto-san.”


Sasuke woke at his desk. He felt foul. He needed the head. He was thirsty. Staying in the office was no longer an option. At least it was the middle of the night, so he should be able retreat to his room and a sleeping Naruto without an audience.

Only Naruto was not there. The bed had not been slept in. Sasuke began checking the lockers. Some of Naruto’s things had gone. Not all, thank the Lady, but some; too many, even a few would have been too many.

He sat on the bed. He had barely spoken to Naruto since they had left Klennethon Darrent’s villa. He had expected Naruto to come to the office but had been too preoccupied to worry that he had not.

Maybe he was sleeping with Shikamaru. Neji occasionally slept in his own room. Only that did not explain why some of Naruto’s things were missing from the lockers.

Then he remembered that Naruto had a place in the other crew room.


Sasuke did not sleep for the rest of the night. In the end he gave up trying. He showered for a long time, tried to force his body into some semblance of normality and waited until it was just about acceptable to make an appearance in the galley. Iruka and Konohamaru were already there. He took his usual place at the table and thanked Iruka for the cup of tea that was placed in front of him. Iruka then sent Konohamaru on some errand, which Konohamaru accepted without comment.

Iruka sat down beside him and was on the verge of speaking, when the door to the other crew room opened and five of the elite fighters spilled in. Breakfast had begun.

The looks that the fighters gave him confirmed that Naruto had spent the night in the other crew room; they were confused and anxious. When Haku appeared he was neither; he looked at Sasuke as if he were a cockroach in Iruka-sensei’s otherwise pristine kitchen.

Shino was utterly silent. Ibiki was painfully polite. Rin made the briefest of appearances and escaped. Jiraiya looked like he was recovering from a close encounter with a bottle of whisky. Shikamaru was trying to be invisible with unusual success. Neji looked like Sasuke felt. There was no sign of Kakashi.

Then Naruto arrived with Sumaru and the galley fell completely silent before bursting with sudden and forced conversation.


Gradually, then increasingly quickly, people started to leave. Food was quickly consumed or taken away. Sasuke stayed in his place. Naruto sat diagonally opposite him. Iruka loaded a tray with Kakashi’s breakfast and exited, sliding the door shut behind him.

“You weren’t there,” Sasuke said quietly.

“I decided that I had waited long enough,” Naruto told him.

“You knew where I was,” Sasuke complained.

“You did not want to be with me,” Naruto accused. “You preferred to brood about standards spent with an aged and dying Naruto.”

So Naruto knew that Rin had told him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Sasuke whispered.

Naruto looked at him with sadness in his eyes. “Because you would do what you did yesterday. You would obsess about changing the future. You would ruin the happiness we share.”

The words struck deep but Sasuke refused to accept them. “I would not.”

“You will be like you are about the children. You think constantly about the children who cannot exist when there are real children you can have.”

That hurt; Sasuke struggled to find some solid ground. “I love you, Naruto,” he insisted.

Naruto shook his head. “Do you? Do you love me? The hybrid. The one who can’t have children. The one who only has five standards before I am past my peak. The one who will, in time, only live in your memory as your mother only lives in your memory.”

Sasuke did not want to listen. He was on his feet. “I don’t want to lose you. I won’t lose you,” he yelled.

Naruto stood. “Carry on like this and you will lose me now. You will have killed everything precious between us. Is that what you want? To kill it now?”

“Shut up!” Sasuke screamed. He picked up a plate and threw it past Naruto’s head.


The plate smashed against the wall. Naruto turned and started to walk towards the door. A cup and another plate whistled past his head. Sasuke’s aim was not that bad, Naruto knew he was not trying to hit him. Another object, it sounded like a plate, hit the door as he closed it behind him.

Out of habit he had used the door to their crew room. Anxious faces greeted him. He turned to Konohamaru.

“Go to Sasuke’s office, find his lute and hide it where he won’t think of looking for it,” he ordered.

“He would smash his mother’s biwa?” Konohamaru queried, flinching at the sound of another breaking dish.

“Do it, Kono-kun,” Iruka told him. “It is not worth the risk.”

“I am sorry about the broken crockery and the mess, Iruka-sensei,” Naruto said calmly.

“Perhaps he will only smash what is out of the cupboards,” Iruka suggested. There was the sound of furniture breaking. “Perhaps not,” he observed.

“It’s his father’s temper,” Kakashi informed them. “Only his father used to break people rather than dishes and chairs.” He looked at Naruto. “You could stop him.”

“I could,” Naruto agreed. He sat down on the floor facing the door to the galley. “I will not.” He turned to Iruka. “You said we should help him come to terms with it,” he reminded him.

“I was thinking of something a little less violent,” Iruka confessed.


Naruto waited. There was no indication of Sasuke leaving the galley to rampage through the ship, which was good. The sounds of breaking stopped, which was hopeful. Then, finally, he heard the first, small sob.

That was the sign for which he had been waiting. Naruto had no intention of making Sasuke face his grief alone or in public. He was through the door and had scooped Sasuke up. He was far more battered than Naruto had imagined; if he had been watching Naruto doubted he would have had the strength to let it run its course. He carried him through to their room and sat on their bunk with Sasuke curled close to his chest.

“I do love you,” Sasuke stammered between sobs. “All of you. Even the bad bits.”

Naruto hugged him tightly. “Teme,” he said fondly. He kissed his forehead. “I love you, my Sasuke.”

---

Author's note

OK, there have been some issues since I first posted this chapter (27/02/10).

Firstly, several, maybe many, readers did not like the conflict and the negativity so I am adding this note to reassure them and future readers that the rest of this fic is not going to be all doom and gloom. It is by facing up to and surmounting difficulties that the characters will reap the sweetest of rewards. Please hang in there and read the following chapters.

Secondly, some readers thought that the title indicated that it was the last chapter of the story, so I have changed it.

---