Why

Warnings and disclaimer in past chapters…

WHY


Chapter 5

New beginnings part 2-

Sasuke pov-


I awoke feeling comfortably warm, with a tan arm draped over my stomach and a blonde head resting on my chest. I can’t help but Smile. Reaching up I gently brush away the hair that had fallen over his face while he slept.


I hear him sigh as I lightly graze my fingers over his cheek. Dropping my hand I watch as his eye’s start to flutter open. Those eye’s you can still see there bright liveliness shining when he first wakes up. You could almost drown in them there so beautiful.


“Morning.” I say quietly waiting for him to register he’s waking.


“Mm, morning.” He moans not yet fully awake. “Sorry, I don’t know how I ended up over here.” He says just as quiet as he starts to move away. I don’t want him to move, not yet.


“Its okay, I don’t mind.” I say wanting to bite my lip when I feel him lie back down against me. His head, resting on my chest, I start to play with his hair. I love how it feels against my skin so soft. I hear him sigh not making a move to stop my hand running through his hair. “What would you like to do today?” I ask softly not wanting to break the quiet surrounding us.


“Hmm, don’t know since I’m currently with out a job right now, I don’t know what I’m supposed, to do. What do people do when they don’t work?” He mumbles out the last part. I can tell he’s frustrated at being forced to not work.


“Well I’m in no hurry to move so whatever.”


“Sasuke?”


“Hmm?”


“Why is it that you don’t mind us laying like this?” he asks out timidly.


“Cuz we’ve been sleeping together for the past week and I guess I’ve gotten used to it. Do you have a problem with how were sleeping and lying here?” I ask carouse to his thoughts on this.


“Oh. No I don’t have any problems with it!” he says quickly. “I’m just not used to people being like this with me is all.” He says softly.


“It’s your birthday in two weeks, what do you want to do for it?” i say knowing talking about how he was treated in the past was not a way to start the day.


“Hmm. My birthday?” he looks like this is a new concept.


“Yes baka, you know that thing you celebrate once a year.”


“But I don’t celebrate it!” He says looking me in the eye before turning away. “And I wouldn’t know what to do anyways.”


“Well this year we’re celebrating it. So either you come up with something you want to do or I can plan something for you.”


“Hm, I don’t see a point, really. There will already be so much celebrating that it doesn’t really matter to me. Plan something if you like I guess it’s not that important really though.” He says worrying his lip his brows creased in thought.


He sounded so sad. We haven’t, not once celebrated his birthday, not for a lack of trying cuz we did. He always seems to disappear on the day. Well, this year I’m gonna show him that he’s loved and has friends. I’ll talk to Sakura later she’s good at these things.
…

Naruto pov-


“Iruka sensei? What are you doing here?”


“What, can I not come and check on my favorite person?”


“We both know I’m not your favorite!” I smile at his sudden frown. “Does Kakashi sensei know that I know about you two or are you still telling him I know nothing?” I snicker at his instant blush.


“Not, exactly. I find it entertaining to watch him try to cover it up in front of you three.” He said trying to hide his smile though that’s hard to do.


“Why Iruka sensei, I didn’t think it was possible for you to keep that from him.” I say in mocked shock. “I expect that sort of thing from him but not you. He must be rubbing off on you!”


Ignoring the comment Iruka just smiles “What do you say we go out get some lunch check out the book store I figure you’re lacking in anything new.”


“But Iruka sensei, since I’m not working I don’t have much money to just blow on books and such. I need to watch what I spend.”


“Don’t worry about that. You know I put aside money to spend on whatever I want and it will mean I’m not supporting your sensei’s perverted books he likes so much.”


“Iruka sensei I saw you reading one before so who are you calling the pervert?”


“I read it to keep him happy. He wanted me to read one so I did and I left it at that, just one and I will be scared for life. Now come on, get your shoes were spending money!” I complied and put my shoes on after leaving a note for Sasuke that I’d be out shopping with Iruka. We headed into town grabbing a quick bite to eat before going to the book store.

…

Sasuke pov-


Later that day-


“Sasuke?” Sakura says opening her door.


“Sakura, could we talk?” I ask kicking my self all the while.


“Sure, come in.” she says moving aside so I could walk in. “What’s up? Where’s Naruto?”


“He’s out with Iruka sensei I believe. I was wondering if you would help me with something.”


“Help you with what Sasuke-kun?”


“It’s Naruto’s birthday in two weeks. I was hoping you could help me with planning a party for him. I know how you love to throw parties and all…”


“How are we going to do that? He always hides on his birthday. But if a party you want a party you shall get. It’s the least I could do for Naruto.” She said with a smile.


“Thank you Sakura. I want it to be a surprise for him so if you could keep it quiet.”


“No problem. This should be fun to pull off!”


“Well I should be going I’ll talk to you later though.”


“Alright, bye Sasuke-kun.”

…
norm pov

Naruto had spent the afternoon with Iruka but the closer it got to dinner the more he wanted to go home and rest it took so much energy to pretend to be ‘happy’ around him.


So once he got back to Sasuke’s with a full stomach and several books gained, he headed up to his room. Setting the books down on the dresser he flopped down on the bed only planning to rest for a little while until Sasuke got home.

(DREAM/Naruto pov)

Opening my eye’s I knew I wasn’t awake but it didn’t make sense where I was. “Where am I?” this feels different not a dream but not awake either.


“This is a dream kit! It’s the easiest way for me to talk to you.” A feminine voice sounded before him.


“Kyuubi?” I ask confused.


“The one and only!” she said a bit prideful


“How come I hear you now? You don’t normally come into my dreams. And you sound different.”


“We needed to talk! And I don’t sound different you just never paid attention to my voice before now.”


“What do we need to talk about?”


“You! You’re hurting yourself for no reason.” She said anger and sadness seeping into her voice.


“You say that like it’s a new thing.” I say with a roll of my eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me kit. There are something’s that I need to explain to you kit.”


“Why are you being so nice to me? And what do you need to explain?” I ask not liking what Kyuubi is saying.


“Because I don’t want to see you hurt again kit. That’s why I’m going to help you but it will take some time.”


“How can you help me? Why would you help me?” I ask unbelievingly that Kyuubi could help me or would help me with out wanting something in return.


“Just listen kit.” She says with a frustrated sigh.


“I am!” I pout crossing my arms across my chest.


“Kit, I’ve seen all that has happened to you, I know it’s my fault, you don’t understand why I have to be in you. You don’t know me or trust me and I’m sure you wish I were just a dream.”


“That’s for sure.”


“I want to tell you that things are going to get far stranger for you before they get better.”


“Why?”


“We’re merging kit. Which means, that neither of us will ever be normal again.”


“How will I change? I’ve never been considered normal!”


“You’re already changing. Just look at your eating habits kit. Look at yourself and tell me what you see.”


“Why am I so small, will I always be this small?” I ask curious.


“It’s because I’m a female that you’re so small. But that has its ups. You’re able to move around with more ease and conceal yourself better.”


“Wait, I thought you were male!”


“Sorry kit they all think that.”


“So what does this mean for me than? What’s going to happen?” now I’m worried. But she shakes her head and continues on.


“Kit you’re going to need to open up more, stop hiding. You’ll need help for what’s coming up. Your pain is my pain and I can only block so much before it over takes you. I’ve been blocking it all this time even now.”


“But I don’t know how not to hide. I always have. Does that mean to be angry all the time or to smile like I always have I’m so confused? I don’t know how to just be I’ve always worked so hard at looking happy I don’t know how to be anything else.”


“Don’t think about it kit just go with how you feel. Now I think its time for you to wake up but remember what I said don’t be afraid to open up someone is there to listen if you just open your eyes.”


(End dream)

With that his eye’s fluttered open and he looked around the room slowly seeing the bed empty next to him. “Hmm I guess he’s not home yet!”
…


After his little talk with Kyuubi Naruto was trying to follow what she said and he realized that the only one he felt comfortable doing so in front of was Sasuke. For some reason it seemed okay to let his mask fall completely when alone with him. Like he’d understand!


They didn’t talk much but Sasuke just wasn’t one to start a conversation. Being the brooding type kinda left you silent most of the time. But when they did talk it felt natural. Neither pushing the other for more, and giving support when it was needed. It was nice.


A week went by and slowly Naruto was coming around he started eating two meals a day under close watch of Sasuke and Iruka who seemed even more over protective than normal of him. Though he was oblivious to it all as he just went about his daily life.


When people would stop by to see him he would plaster his fake smile for them and talk as if it was a normal thing for him to be at Uchiha Sasuke’s house talking with people. When Sasuke himself just grunted at them. Never mind, that until Naruto moved in, Sasuke didn’t have people over.

Upon the seventh day of being there, Sasuke woke the blonde up much to there dislike

…

Naruto pov-


“Oi, dobe wake up.”


“Hn.” I mumble rolling over and burying my head in a pillow.


“Wake up. We have to go see Hokage sama today. If we’re not on time she’s gonna kill us both.” He growled annoyed that it was his third trip to wake the blonde up.


“Okay, okay I’m getting up.” I climb out of bed and pull on my clothes.
Sasuke is waiting down stairs for me.
…


Sasuke pov-


We made it to the Hokage tower quickly and are ushered in to her office just as fast. Walking in we see her sitting at her desk her hands steepled, head resting atop them. Looking up she quickly orders us in.


“Naruto, Sasuke please sit.” She says with a worried smile. “How are you Naruto?”


“Oh, I’m good.” He says plastering his fake smile that never reaches his eyes.


“Don’t lie, Naruto! We all know when you’re lying.” She announces with an angry frown.


“Wha, what did you expect me to say? Would you like to hear? That I’m a wreak and it hurts to plaster this smile every damn day I’m alive.” He says not really angry but sad.


“Naruto, I only ask for the truth.” She says furrowing her brows.


“Hokage sama please. Don’t, ask questions you don’t really want the answers to.” He says his face completely devoid of expression.


“This is not Naruto. What have you done with him?” She says getting frustrated.


“Your right, this isn’t the Naruto you knew.” He said with a sad sigh. “I’m sorry to tell you, this is the real one. The other was a fake something to make everyone think everything was fine. I know you must know more than what I had told you. That’s the only reason that you have me staying with Sasuke. Am I right? He told you after you dismissed me I know that’s what it must have been. I only told him and the others cuz it was destroying the teams concentration. Once they knew we were able to move on.”


“Tell me Naruto, do you really think they moved on without thinking it over and over what you went through or what they think you went through? I want to know what all happened you didn’t tell Sasuke everything. Who they were? You may not have felt it necessary to tell anyone before but it was, and is important! No one has the right to harm a child the way that you were.”


“But to them, I wasn’t a child I was a monster that needed to learn its place. If you want to hear about the pain I’ll tell you but you must know that hearing it will not make it better. I don’t see how knowing will make a difference now when there’s nothing you could possibly do about it its over with.”


…

norm. pov-

“Naruto, I would like to know who these men were. I want to make sure that they’re taken care of.”


“They’re dead Tsunade baachan don’t worry. I don’t care about it anymore. What’s done is done. There’s nothing we can do to change that. The present is what we need to focus on. Look at me and tell me what you see as different that you didn’t notice before.”


“What do you mean?” She asked looking at him oddly after his sudden change of attitude.


“There’s something going on with me that I don’t understand. Look at my body. I know I’ve always been a little smaller than most the guys but now I’m becoming well I’m different and I don’t understand. I asked Kyuubi and she said that I would understand in time but I’m just more confused.” He said with a look of confusion.


“What do you mean different?” Sasuke asked looking at him.


“I know you’ve noticed it too. Sasuke look at me!” he said pleadingly.


“You’re smaller, thinner that is, but you haven’t been eating so that could be that reason. What did the pest say?”


“Don’t call her a pest she doesn’t like it!” He growled.


“Okay, you don’t have to growl at me dobe.”


“Teme. Anyways she hasn’t told me everything all I know is that I’m changing, I don’t know how and I don’t know if it will be a good thing. I know she doesn’t want anything to happen to me so she’ll keep me as safe as she can. She made it sound like I don’t need to worry about it. But if I don’t need to worry I don’t see why she even told me.”


“So you trust her than?” Tsunade asked.


“She’s like my conscious or something like the mother I never had that’s able to constantly annoy me in my head now that I’m conscious of her.”


‘There looking at me kinda funny’ he says to Kyuubi frowning at the other occupants of the room.


Kit let me talk with them, I think there’s some things they need to know and I’ll be able to explain it better to them


‘Alright if you think it will help.’


“Well like my kit was saying. We are merging” a feminine voice said.


“Kyuubi?” Tsunade said eyeing the boy.


“Yes. Now unlike the kit I don’t like to waste time. I’ll get to the point like we have both said we are merging and I will say that on the outside he will still look the same but for a few things that you’ll see in time. I’m afraid that others will dislike him more once they find out what has become of him. I only want his safety and it’s not because I’m in him but because I see him as my kit since I wasn’t able to conceive a kit of my own before I was sealed within him.


‘What are you talking about can I come out yet?’


“Shh kit just a few more minute okay don’t worry everything is fine just rest for a few okay.”


‘Okay’


“What’s the dobe’s problem?” Sasuke asked looking at him.


“You shouldn’t call him that Uchiha he’s actually very smart he just thought that hiding his true self would hurt less than showing all his strength.”


“Oh really I don’t see how that was smart.”


“No, I wouldn’t think you would considering that the strength you have know is what he truly was when you we’re all 12 so I wouldn’t be sitting there all smug if I were you. Now to get to why I came out. This change will be complete sometime during the next month or so I can’t be exacted. He will no longer be considered human since he will be half demon that will bring on its own issues for him I’m certain but I can’t change that fact or stop it. On the other issue. He’s never let himself get over the whole mess from when he was but a child being tortured by those monsters. Believe me you don’t want to know what truly happened during all those many nights. And how often I had to force my chakra into his system to keep him alive that was painful for the both of us.”


“Why?” Tsunade asked


“Because what they did to him I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. The pain the all out Torture he went through ‘what we went through’ is beyond horrible.”


“Wait you felt it too?” Sasuke asked.


“Every single minute of it I was feeling it. There was nothing I could do. He didn’t know I was there. He couldn’t ask me to help him and I was unable to help with the seal so strong at the time. It hurt so much that all I could do was try to heal the outside injuries. Which there were a lot of.”


“Who were they?” Tsunade asked her voice ridged with anger over the whole incident.


“He told you, nobles." She spat out like it was poison. "Only nobles would do something so horrible to a child. My poor kit, he locked himself up in a cage so tight that it has taken six years for it to open and make him hurt again. Its because of the merging and his subconscious that have brought it all back.”


“Can you tell us how he will change and if he will get better?” she asked worried the answer wouldn’t be what she hoped.


“Sorry I can’t. Once it’s done you’ll see but until then. Just be careful with him, I’m trying to get him to open up so that the hurt will go it’s the only thing that will help him as I see it.”


“Thank you!” she said as Kyuubi nodded to them.


“Kit you can come out now.” Kyuubi said in a soft voice.


“So what did I miss she wouldn’t let me listen and then I fell asleep.”


“Dobe.”


“Teme. Stop calling me that! You know I hate it.”


“I’m sorry. I’ll just have to come up with something else to call you.” Naruto smiled at this, the kind where you roll your eyes in happiness.


“Are we done here I’m kinda hungry?” Naruto asked looking hopeful now that his appetite has returned to him.


“Fine Naruto. I would like you back here next week I want to see how your doing and to see if Kyuubi’s suggestion is helping you recover.”


“Alright! Sasuke can we get lunch now I think my appetite is starting to return.” He says as the corners of his mouth slightly turn up.


“Sure. So we’ll see you on his birthday than!” he said looking up at the Hokage when he received a nod from her he turned back to Naruto. “You want ramen ne?”


“If you’re buying I’ll eat it.” He says walking towards the door.

…


Naruto pov-
Time lapse>>>>


Everyone has been a little odd lately. Granted I would think they would but, it’s been 3 days since we saw the Hokage and they’ve insisted that I venture out into town like doing that is really going to help. I did it the other day with Iruka sensei I don’t see what the big deal is.


I didn’t really want to; I’d rather just sit at home or go train even though I’m not allowed to do any missions until kami sama knows. But it’s okay. I understand why they would feel hesitant in letting me do missions.


I let out a sigh not realizing it until its past.


“What’s wrong?” I hear from behind me. ‘Crap I forgot he was there.’ its funny how one can get comfortable in a place and lose track of all things surrounding them, being a shinobi you'd think i wouldn't do that.


“Nothing Sasuke, just thinking.” I respond not looking at him.


“You know you shouldn’t do too much of that you might strain yourself.” He says with a smirk his joke does not amuse me though.


“Baka, must you always insult my intelligence?” I say turning to look at him. “Oh what am I saying; of course you do with a baka like me being here you must find me amusing!” I state rolling my eye’s before I turn around and look at the new book I got the other day with Iruka sensei open in my lap.


“What are you reading?” He asked looking over my shoulder. Looking up I close the book and show him the cover. “Poetry I never knew you liked poetry!”


“I wouldn’t think you would! Now will you leave me in peace with my angst!” I say with a smile.


“Angst, do you really think you should be reading that?” he asks raising an eyebrow at me.


“No, remember I shouldn’t think, I might strain myself baka!” I state playfully as I lightly push him away from me.


“Well what else do I not know about you?”


“How about some lunch? I’ll make us something okay!” I say looking up with a sad smile completely ignoring his question.


“Since when do you cook? And why are you ignoring my questions?”


“Since I was 7 I just never had much food to cook really. And ramen is cheap so to speak. And I’m not ignoring your question; it was just vague in what you wanted to know. Well I’ll go make us something to eat then” I say smiling at him as I get up from the couch.


“Alright cook away than. Just don’t burn the place down.”

…


Sasuke pov-

He turned one last time before disappearing into the kitchen looking over his shoulder at me he flashed the most heart wrenching smile I’ve ever seen, my heart felt like it stopped as I watched him then came thudding back again.


I can’t help but let my eye’s wonder on there own, over his body. It’s so amazing how much it’s changed from when we first met.


He went from being a loud mouth chubby 12 year old to a 17 year old who was on the thin side and still rather short. And now only days till his 18th birthday he’s five foot six with the most amazing body I’ve ever seen male or female all lithe and toned in all the right places, his hair just barely shoulder length still that sunshine blonde, but I don’t know if he’s noticed yet, but he’s got red streaks starting but his eye’s still that amazing cerulean that envelops all who see them. Just looking into them its like your falling with no escape. But when he smiles truly smiles you know everything is going to be fine. I know I’ve only seen it a few times but I’ve fallen every time.


“Sasuke which would you rather have? I could make some ramen or if you want Onigiri. I know how you love them.” He said popping his head out of the kitchen, a smile crossing his face.


“Huh? oh which ever you want. You know you don’t have to cook for me I mean you’re my guest here and all.”


“How else am I going to pay for my stay? I may try to get free ramen as much as possible but that’s where I draw the line. I pay for whatever I have however I can. And if that means I can cook something for us to eat than I’ll do it. So just sit back, read one of your books and lunch will be ready in no time.”


“Alright whatever makes you happy.” I said falling back against the couch.


He was right, in no time at all, I could smell miso coming from the kitchen. Getting up from the couch I walked over to the kitchen. Not only did it smell good but the kitchen was clean. Two things I wasn’t expecting with the blonde being in there.


“Oh I was just about to call you.” He said placing a bowl on the table for me. Sitting down I looked at the bowl then back up at him. “What? It’s not going to eat you ya know. It’s more afraid of you than you are of it now eat!” He said amusement playing in his eyes.


Slowly I bring some to my mouth slurping some. Raising an eyebrow it’s amazingly good. Actually some of the best I’ve ever had. I look up at him and he’s smiling as he walks back to get himself a bowl.


Sitting down he begins to slurp some of his own before I say anything to him.


“It’s good!” I state. He looks up and smiles one of his genuine smiles that could melt you where you stand.


“I’m glad you like it, though honestly I think it’s hard to mess up miso. Oh, I didn’t get you anything to drink. What was I thinking?”


“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get us something to drink just sit. I know your one for high energy but your not even sitting still long enough to eat your ramen.”


“Oh gomen it’s been awhile since I made anything for anyone besides myself you know me I always forget something.”


“No, I don’t think you forget anything, you just like to run around looking like you do.”


“Grr.. fine so you know my secret! Blah.” He said sticking out his tongue.


“If I were you, I wouldn’t go sticking that out it just might get bit off!” I say with a smirk as I watch him blush.


“Humph, and what are you going to do about it? Just eat your ramen and be happy.” He said with a pout.


“Oh stop pouting! Here.” I said handing him a soda. Smiling he took it from me and went back to eating his lunch.


“Sasuke?” he says after a while.


“Hn?” I ask looking up to see him fidget slightly in his seat.


“You remember when you asked me what I wanted for my birthday I didn’t know what I wanted.”


“Yes.”


“I know what I want.”


“And that is?”


“I... I want to not be here, when the festival is going on. I want to go away for the day.”


“Alright then we can go up to the cabins by the hot springs most everyone will be at the festival so it should be pretty quiet. Does that sound alright?”


“Very.” He said in a small excited voice. “Thank you Sasuke.”


“Hn.. Eat your ramen before its cold.” I say trying to feign disinterest.


Naruto happily ate his breakfast; he suddenly couldn’t wait for his birthday to come.

End chapter

(tbc)


I know this was a long chapter, but a warning they all won’t be this long.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the others and sorry it took so long to update my comp refuses to get online

Thanks for reading and please continue to review it helps me know that you like it. It encourages me to write more and hopefully better. Anyways, let me know what you think...

As always
Lost in thought