Not you, too!

5. Evening falls

It was dinnertime and Shikamaru placed six bowls of rice on the table. He was stirring the vegetables, when Neji and Kankurou came in with a smiling Choji-chan and two large blankets. Kankurou was trying in vain to suppress a giggle as he sat at one of the dinner places. Shikamaru turned to his lover and was answered with a smirk of shared humor.
“Why couldn’t you hold it in until after you changed back?” Sasuke said, carrying a giggling baby wearing only a diaper into the room. He looked up at the cook and growled.
“I had to change It, again.” And he sat at the table, grabbing one of the blankets and placing the child on the floor on top of it.
When the food was on the table, Shikamaru took Choji-chan from Neji and the Hyuuga sat in his regular place. Then the Jounin sat next to her.
“I hope they change soon. I am dying in these shoes.” Neji said, shifting in his seat. Shikamaru smiled and watched as Choji wiggled on his lap. He looked down at Naruto on the floor and decided to wrap the baby in his blanket and sit him near the other.
A loud popping sound was heard and when the four looked up, Choji was standing wrapped in his blanket while Naruto sat on his, without a stitch of clothes on.
“Cover yourself, Dobe.” Sasuke said, as he turned away.
“Shut up, Asshole.” Was the response from the blond as he rose, wrapping the cloth around him. “Jiraiya was a better babysitter, and half of the time he just took me to the river and let the girls there play with me.” He said, shoving the Uchiha over to take up the remaining room on his bench.
“Whatever,” was Sasuke’s response as he shifted and quickly changed back to his regular, male self. Neji had done the same and was now wedged between Shikamaru and Choji on the other side of the table.
“Okay, so we lived through one day. Does anyone have any ideas on how to improve on what we did today?” Shikamaru asked as they passed around the food and began eating.
Neji filled Choji’s bowl and passed it over, as the chubby boy shifted his blanket.
“I do. I want to be you and Neji’s baby. He’s the pits as a mother.” he said, pointing at the Uchiha.
“How much do you remember about the last eight hours, Naruto?” Choji asked him as he began to pick at his food.
“Not much, but it’s a feeling I got. I liked it better when Neji was in the room. Sasuke, you’re a prick.” He announced.
“And you were a little shit box. I think you did that on purpose.” The brunet announced. “And you are a hentai pervert,” he turned and added to Kankurou.
“What?” Naruto spun on the Sand ninja. “What did you do?” he demanded.
“Me. I was just being a good husband. My father always gave my mother a lot of attention.” He said, smiling.
“Yeah, and Jiraiya is a saint.” Naruto said, sarcastically.
“Okay, settle down. First off, eat. We will start again tomorrow afternoon, so we can get an idea of bath time and bedtime. Second, Sasuke - Naruto cannot help it, his body at that age has not learned to hold it in. It is part of the jutsu. Third, Kankurou – every good husband knows the limits of his wife’s tolerance. Remember, you and Sasuke are not really a couple, so do not push your luck, or I will kick the shit out of you. And lastly, if this mission is going to succeed, we have to be convincing. You have to play your part perfectly, even if it kills you, so get serious or We go without you. Is that clear!”
Three contrite faces nodded back at the Jounin and Shikamaru began to concentrate on his plate.
Neji elbowed him lightly and he looked up.
“Oh, stop it. I am not going to say It. But it is getting a little too much for me. And stop looking at me like that Naruto. I can’t take those kind of eyes, and you know it.”
“Shikamaru is an old softie. But, he can sure cook.” The blond said as he dug into the plate before him.

Sleeping arrangements were odd to say the least. Naruto opted to camp out on the floor of Choji’s room, and Sasuke took the couch. Kankurou disappeared for a couple of hours and in the morning they found him sleeping on the table in the kitchen, and by the smell of him it was amazing that he made it home.
At two o’clock, Sasuke was awakened by the sound of a door closing and he was instantly alert. He jumped to his feet and brandished a kunai.
“Sorry! It’s just me. I needed a drink of water.” Naruto said, showing the cup to his friend.
“Oh. Fine. Go back to sleep, Idiot.” Sasuke said, dropping back onto the couch.
“Sasuke?” Naruto said, hovering in the hallway.
“Hnn?” came the response.
“Can I ask you a question? About today?” the blond said, sitting on the end of the couch near Sasuke’s feet.
The brunet sat up and rested on his elbows as he stared at the blond in the dimly lit room.
“What is it, Dobe?” he asked.
“When we were practicing the jutsu, why did you change and then right away put on like, lipstick and stuff? You could have just made that part of the finished product like today in Godaime’s office. I didn’t think about it until then.” Naruto tipped his cup and sipped at the water.
Sasuke smiled in humor and shook his head. “You would notice something like that, Dobe. What do you think?” Sasuke turned the question back to him.
“I think I want to know what exactly Kankurou did that made you so mad, actually. I think it’s a better bedtime story.” The blond said, winking. Sasuke’s smile turned a little sour as he regarded Naruto.
“He caught me in the hall and kissed me. But, not without getting a good feel up my blouse. Are you happy, now?” he said, a light blush coloring his cheeks in the moonlight.
“I have a feeling you didn’t let him get away with that.” Naruto assumed.
“Let’s just say You may be his only child.” Sasuke responded.
“Ouch,” he said, wincing. “One more thing. What did he mean when he asked me if my issues were as complicated as yours? What did you tell him? You don’t usually share secrets so easily.”
“I didn’t tell him anything. I just suggested that there was more going on around here, than meets the eye. What issues do you have, Dobe?” Sasuke asked.
“Ah, Sasuke. You’re a genius, remember? You should be able to figure stuff like that out. Hell, I did invent that jutsu you used all day, you know?” Naruto rose and smiled as he placed the cup on a table. “Try to be a little more fun tomorrow, okay? You might even like it, if you aren’t careful.”
“The day I Like pretending to be your Mommy, I am likely to slit my own throat.” The brunet said, pulling the blanket over him as he rolled into the couch.
“Don’t get all extreme on me now, Sasuke.” Naruto said and paused, “You looked real pretty today. Prettier than Neji.” And the blond disappeared down the hall. Sasuke smiled to himself under the covers.

::: Whew, another chapter up on this fic and I've got two more finished. The side fic is doing real well, too. I don't suppose any one was curious about how Ino ended up pregnant earlier, huh?


Vashta - Glad to supply a chuckle or two. I have some characters in my book that I always enjoy working with because they are a humorous pair. People are like that you know. They make me laugh all the time.


On a side note, and getting a little preachy here. I read today that a writer had her work deleted because she was underage. I hope I don't offend, but I would like to think that anyone reading my stories has followed the guidelines and isn't underage. The rules are there for a reason, and if I didn't believe in them, I wouldn't post here at all.
Please stick to age appropriate stories; you have plenty of time for this stuff later. And if you are an aspiring writer, live life before you try to write about it. It makes for a more enjoyable story to know that the author is a little experienced and knows their topic.


Next chapter is Shopping, Every man’s nightmare
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