One Thing I Hate: COMPUTERS!

Hello again! Animehead and Sama here, giving you a little twist in our story AND an attempt at some humor! Sorry it took so long for our update. It was my fault *Animehead hangs head in shame* Anyway...here you go!

*note from Animehead* Thank Mimi Hyuuga for getting me to write my part of the next chapter! If it wasn't for your review on "The Proper Way to Play Strip Poker" This chapter would still be half-typed sitting on my computer! Mimi, I would be honored and blushing, and proud if you wrote it and you can definitely consider it as a prompt from me, but even if you don't write it, I'll still love ya!

Also if you haven't read it you should check out, "The Art of Being Used", by PhoenixElentari! And if you are a writer and want us to check out any of your stories just let us know in a review or email us.

Naruto was dead tired, but he got on the computer anyway. He ran a hand through messy blond hair as he checked his email inbox. A small frown graced his face when he didn't see a message from the SharinganSOB guy. Naruto yawned tiredly as he clicked the link that brought him to the Bleach yaoi forum. After browsing around he decided he was going to get offline and go to bed when he noticed a new forum topic.

1 NEW FORUM TOPIC

Topic title: Guess what I have a picture of…

by: SharinganSOB

Naruto eyes widened as he read the topic title. Did this SharinganSOB guy really post the picture that Naruto sent him? Naruto tapped his foot on the floor anxiously trying to sum up the courage to click on the link. He took a deep breath and positioned the cursor over top of the message and clicked.

Topic title: Guess what I have a picture of…

by: SharinganSOB

3/17/07 9:32pm

Hi sexy,

You didn't think I would actually post that picture did you? Why would I do that? I want it all to myself. Very impressive. I can definitely work with that. On another note, how was your day? I was thinking that maybe you could email me more often or perhaps IM me. I can't keep that thing off of my mind…I'm dying to taste it. Would you let me?

Naruto swallowed. Damn…this guy was bold. He couldn't help the slight blush that spread across his cheeks from reading the comment. He wanted to reply back, but didn't know what to type. Well…he had already said that he was going to talk to this guy to keep his mind off of Sasuke. Why would he think about Sasuke-bastard anyway? Even if Naruto did see him jerking off in the shower, even if he wanted to walk in there with him, even if he wanted to slam the sexy bastard against the wall and shove his cock in that perfect ass of his…and then have Sasuke do the same to him in return.

Fuck.

Fucking, Sasuke.

Fucking, sexy ass Sasuke.

No. No. NO! He was NOT going to think about Sasuke. He was going to focus on this SharinganSOB guy. He would harmlessly flirt with him just to past the time when he was bored. Nothing wrong with that, right? Besides…Sasuke wasn't sexy; he was a psycho! A freaking psycho that jerked off in the locker room shower! Now Sakura…she was sexy! Naruto focused back on what he wanted to type in response to SharinganSOB.

Reply to: Guess what I have a picture of…

by: sexy_yaoi_FOX

3/17/07 11:51pm

Ha! I would have kicked your ass if you would have posted it! So you liked what you saw, eh? Yeah, I guess I could IM you one day. My day was fine. Why do you ask? You trying to win some brownie points with me or something? Sure, I'll let you taste it! *yeah right!!!!!*

Naruto posted his response message, logged off of the computer, and got into the bed. His house was quiet and sort of lonely. He hadn't heard from Jiraiya in almost two weeks. The creaks and noises of the house settling in began to make Naruto a little paranoid. He reached over to turn his radio on hoping to fall asleep soon while listening to music.

Naruto got himself comfortable on his bed and then lay back on a fluffy white pillow. He let out another yawn as his eyelids drooped. He listened as the guy on the radio announced another song before music strummed through the speaker and into Naruto's ears.

 

***

"Naruto...Naruto..."

Someone was calling him?

"Mmm..." Naruto murmured, shifting on his bed some more, trying to block out whoever was softly calling his name in order to get him to wake up.

"Five more minutes…" Naruto said sleepily, burrowing deeper into his bedding, snuggling his cheek into his very soft, warm pillow.

"Naruto-kun."

Blue, startled, eyes snapped open, recognizing the voice completely. Those same blue eyes shot up to meet amused green eyes. Naruto sat up quickly, drinking in the sight of Sakura; the Sakura he's been dreaming about, praying for, having wet dreams for, was there standing before him, smiling that beautiful perfect smile that was usually reserved for…

Naruto cheeks burned when taking in her appearance. He nearly choked on his salvia as he tried to breathe. "Sakura?!" He stared wide-eyed at her, drooling at the smooth pale skin, she was nearly…naked. Sakura stood before him dressed in a black-laced bra and panties. Her feet and legs wrapped in black high heel boots. She looked absolutely delicious standing there in less then nothing, looking hungry, and looking needy at…him…

…not Sasuke.

"Naruto-kun..."she breathed, running her hands up her midriff, fingers roaming up pale flesh that Naruto wanted to touch. Sakura's head fell back and she moaned softly when her fingers glazed her cloth, covered, nipples that were hardening at first brush. Naruto inhaled deeply, exhaling through his nose as he tried to figure out if this was reality or some cruel, fucked up dream…because if this was a dream...

…someone was seriously going to die.

"Naruto," her warning tone, edged with playfulness, got the blond boy's attention right away. Sakura grinned, "Let me dance for you?" she whispered, sticking out her bottom lip for effect. Like a blood hound, the boy nodded, following her orders when she told him to lay back. They didn't break eye contact when Sakura reached behind her, sliding her hand on the dresser she was resting against, and flickered on the stereo.

♪Ok (ahh)♪

Sakura's hips swayed; legs spreading ever so slightly to show more of perfect, pale, silky, skin. Her fingers continued to rake sensually up her body, teasing the still shocked boy.

♪Yeahh (ahh)

Oh, we about to get it just a lil hot and sweaty in this mu'fucka (oh, baby)

Ladies let's go (uhh)

Soldiers let's go (dolls)

Let me talk to y'all and just you know

Give you a little situation... listen (fellas) ♪

Her fingers bent slightly as they combed through her luscious, pink, hair. Sakura stared at Naruto, licking her top row of teeth. Naruto face turned a bright shade of red, pleasing Sakura deeply at his reaction.

♪Pussycat Dolls

Ya see this shit get hot

Everytime I come through when I step up in the spot (are you ready)

Make the place sizzle like a summertime cookout

Prowl for the best chick

Yes I'm on the lookout (lets dance)

Slow bangin shorty like a belly dancer with it

Smell good, pretty skin, so gangsta with it (oh, baby)

No tricks only diamonds under my sleeve♪

Sakura spun around suddenly, grabbing onto the dressers edge and bending. It was official….Naruto lost all rational thought at the sight of Sakura's ass...barely...covered in a...

…Oh gods...She was wearing a thong.

♪Gimme tha number

But make sure you call before you leave♪

Sakura arched, lips parting slightly as she exhaled. She threw a glance over her shoulder to make sure Naruto was watching. She smiled sexually at him, mouthing the words to him. Naruto's eyes widened even further and he sat up quickly when Sakura's nimble fingers began to play with a strap of her bra.

♪I know you like me (I know you like me)

I know you do (I know you do)

That's why whenever I come around♪

One strap...two straps slid off smooth shoulders...

♪She's all over you (she's all over you)

I know you want it (I know you want it)♪

Sakura wiggled her butt, smirking at Naruto's sudden whimper. Fingers paused near the hook that would set her breasts free from their lacy confine.

♪It's easy to see (it's easy to see) ♪

Naruto arched his head up further, trying to get a closer look before everything seemed to still...

♪And in the back of your mind♪

The bra dropped quietly to the floor of Naruto's bedroom.

♪I know you should be on with--!♪

The music was cut off and Sakura suddenly lurched forward to the dresser, bowing her head so low that Naruto couldn't even make out her pink tresses. The only thing he could clearly see was her bare back and bottom. Naruto looked at her, his face riddled with concern, wondering what happened to make her suddenly stop. Was she embarrassed? Upset? Did he do something wrong...? He reached out a hesitant hand from his spot on the bed.

"Sakura?"

Any other concerned words to the pink-haired girl were cut short as the figure slowly straightened.

♪Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?♪

Black hair fell elegantly on broad shoulders, the silky black locks of hair shaking slightly to ruffle it even further.

♪Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?♪

Onyx eyes darted to Naruto's startled blue ones, and Naruto knew that he should have been terrified or angry, but he wasn't; in fact he was actually…

…aroused.

♪Don't cha

Don't cha

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?

Don't cha

Don't cha♪

Sasuke smirked at Naruto, turning towards him fully as he leaned back casually against the dresser, one leg bent and resting in a prone matter. The underwear that Sasuke wore seemed to be having trouble keeping his desire hidden. Naruto could see black curls just peeking out beneath the silky material. Naruto knew he should have disgusted completely by this, but the honest truth was that the sight of Sasuke standing there in front of him was...

…more arousing…

…than Sakura…

…could ever hope to be.

♪Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)

Leave it alone (leave it alone)

Cause if it ain't love

It just ain't enough to leave my happy home (my happy home)

Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)

You have to play fair (you have to play fair)

See I don't care

But I know She ain't gonna wanna share♪

Black eyes burned through blue, pale hips swaying slightly from side to side before Sasuke was moving in such a sexual manner that it put Sakura to shame. Sasuke pushed himself off of the dresser, legs and feet spread apart but he didn't stop dancing for Naruto as he mouthed along with the song. Pale fingers teased over the strap of underwear, tugging lightly down to further show Naruto more flesh. More dark curls came into sight before a quick flash of Sasuke's arousal was bestowed upon the hyperventilating boy.

♪Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?

Don't cha

Don't cha

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?

Don't cha

Don't cha♪

Naruto was shoved back onto his bed, Sasuke crawling on top of him and straddling his thighs afterwards. Naruto squeaked, stilling instantly when coming nose to nose with Sasuke. Dark eyes, filled with lust, stared into his with a hint of something much darker that he couldn't comprehend. Who was this person? Was this really Sasuke? Naruto swallowed thickly when feeling the other teen's cock intentionally brush against his thigh, bringing back unwanted images from what had taken place in the locker room. Who was he kidding? Those images were anything but unwanted.

Naruto groaned, yelping when his both his wrist were caught and slammed roughly on either side of his head. Sky-blue eyes glared at Sasuke, narrowing before they closed suddenly. Naruto let out a raged breath when Sasuke rolled his hips teasingly against his.

Please, Sasuke…what are you doing to me?

♪Ok, I see how it's goin' down (ahh, don't cha)

Seems like shorty wanna little menage pop off or somethin, let's go

Well let me get straight to it

Every broad wan watch a nigga when I come through it

It's the god almighty, lookin all brand new

If shorty wanna jump in my ass then vanquish

Lookin at me all like she really wanna do it

Tryna put it on me till my balls black an blueish

Ya wanna play wit ah playa girl then play on

Strip out the Chanel

And leave the lingerie on

Watch me and I'mma watch you at the same time

Lookin at ya wan break my back

You the very reason why I keep a pack ah the Magnum

An wit the wagon hit chu in the back of tha magnum

For the record, don't think it was somethin you did

Shorty all on me cuz it's hard to resist the kid

I got a idea that's dope for y'all

As y'all could get so I could hit the both of y'all♪

Naruto opened his eyes, not realizing he closed them, when he felt Sasuke cease his movements. Sasuke was staring down at him, looking for something; Naruto had no clue of what it was. Naruto opened his mouth to speak, but Sasuke leaned back on his haunches, thigh muscles tensing and drawing Naruto's attention to them. He stared, really stared, at the person still straddling his hips. It was then that Naruto realized he had NEVER felt so turned on in his—

"AHHH!!!" he cried out, arching his hips up to meet Sasuke's sudden forceful grinding. Naruto clutched his sheets as his hips moved on their own accord to meet Sasuke's every rocking motion.

♪I know she loves you (I know she loves you)

So I understand (I understand)

I'd probably be just as crazy about you

If you were my own man

Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)

Possibly (possibly)

Until then old friend

Your secret is safe with me♪

Naruto mewled against Sasuke's cheek, shivering down to his toes when Sasuke started to sing the last lyrics to him.

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?

Don't cha?

Don't cha?"

"'Naruto…"

Naruto's name ghosted from Sasuke plump lips, Sasuke leaned into him, his lips mere centimeters away from Naruto's. Naruto lost all rationality as he closed the distance between their mouths. His lips met Sasuke's in a hungry battle for dominance, gentle bites and sensual licks took center stage as wet tongues slid passed one another.

He feels so good.

♪Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me? ♪

Sasuke pulled his head away from Naruto's abruptly stopping the kiss. Naruto looked up at him, ready to grab the Uchiha back down and order him to finish kissing him.

"Why'd you stop?"

Sasuke smirked but didn't answer the question. Instead, he gave Naruto a gentle peck on the lips, then neck, then chest. He made his way down Naruto's chest, kissing and nibbling, stopping to tease pink, pert nipples. Sasuke continued his way down, licking over Naruto's navel and causing him to squirm. When he was finish his ministrations on Naruto's navel, Sasuke moved down to hover over Naruto's very obvious erection. A pale hand slipped into Naruto's boxers and freed his engorged cock. Naruto hissed at the sensation of someone else's hand on his sensitive flesh.

"Naruto…"

♪Don't cha

Don't cha♪

Sasuke leaned down, his hand grasping the base of Naruto's cock. Naruto could feel Sasuke's breath on his length. His eyes widened as he saw a pink tongue come closer and closer to the head.

"Sasuke, wait, what are you—AHHH!!!'

"NARUTO WAKE UP!!!" Jiraiya shouted at his nephew rousing him from his sleep…and his…dream.

Fuck!

His dream?!

He was fucking dreaming!

"What are you doing here, Jiraiya?" Naruto mumbled, pissed at the world, and especially pissed at Uchiha Sasuke.

"I live here, kid," Jiraiya said, taking in the half-sleep appearance of the teen he had been taking care of for almost nearly thirteen years. Jiraiya loved Naruto as if he was his son, and he made a promise to his brother thirteen years ago that he would  always look out for him.

"Yeah, well, what do you want?" Naruto asked, completely annoyed with his uncle AND the extreme hard-on he had hidden under his blanket.

"Can't remember now," Jiraiya answered before walking out of Naruto's room.

Naruto buried his head in his pillow and let out a muffled scream.

"FUCK!!!"

With a whimper and a sigh Naruto decided that he just didn't have it in him to jerk off, finally letting sleep overtake him, and this time thankfully, it was dreamless.

 

***

"I'm leaving, Jiraiya!" Naruto shouted as he dashed out his front door. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him as he saw his bus drive up to his stop. He made it to the stop just in time, panting and out of breath. He maneuvered through the other students on the bus, taking an empty seat towards the back. Naruto closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the stiff seat, thoughts of his dream/fantasy about Sasuke coming back to him at full force; he squirmed slightly. Why did it feel like someone was watching him? Naruto opened his eyes, slowly turning his head to the left. He nearly jumped at the green eyes staring at him. What the hell is wrong with Gaara?! He turned his head quickly away, afraid to turn to see if the other boy was still looking.

After arriving to school Naruto went to his first class, Calculus with Iruka-sensei. He sat next to Kiba wishing Sai were there. Math was one of the few classes Naruto didn't share with Sai. At least he would see him in English; he was dying to tell him about the comment SharinganSOB left him.

But he was damn sure NOT telling him about that dream!

"Look at how short Ino's skirt is," Kiba whispered to Naruto, pointing at the blond in the front of the class.

"Look how much I care," Naruto replied back sarcastically.

"Oh yeah, that's right. You're only interested in pinky sitting next to her," Kiba said back.

Naruto ignored Kiba's comment and nickname for Sakura.

"Hey?" Kiba whispered again.

"What?" Naruto answered, rolling his eyes at the book in his hand. Why was he even looking at it? The words may as well have been written in French because he didn't know French and he damn sure didn't know what the hell all these numbers and letters meant.

"Sasuke is staring at you. Did you piss him off or something?" Kiba asked quietly.

Naruto looked over to Sasuke's desk, and sure enough the Uchiha was staring holes into Naruto. Naruto blinked at him a couple of times before dropping his head to glare at his book. He had two choices…look up and watch Sasuke, watch him, or look down at the book and pretend to learn. With a snort, Naruto decided to go with the book because he didn't catch that jerking off in the locker room shower yesterday.

Thirty minutes later Iruka-sensei dismissed the class. Naruto walked out of the class with his backpack and supplies deciding that it would be best to go to his locker to get rid of the math book that would just weigh down his backpack anyway. He fumbled with his combination for what seemed like forever. The halls were now empty and he knew he was going to be late to his next class. Naruto cursed and shouted, "Finally" when his locker popped open, but it was so messy and cluttered that several papers fell to the floor from it. He sighed as he bent down to pick them up. After a few seconds of mumbling a string of profound words, he stacked the papers in his hand. He yelped and jumped as his locker shut with a "BANG".

Naruto turned his head as far as it could go, jumping when he saw the covered pelvic area of the teenager who had stared at him throughout his entire math period. He gulped, realizing how close his face was to Sasuke's…

A pale hand reached out and yanked Naruto into a standing position before slamming him against the locker. Naruto got over the initial shock of being slammed against a locker by the same guy he had just fantasized about the night before. Sasuke grabbed both of Naruto's wrists and held them high above his head, pressing the back of his hands into the cold metal of the locker.

"What the fuck?! Are you out of your mind—" Naruto started, but was cut of by Sasuke's voice.

"You were spying on my yesterday, dobe," Sasuke said, calmly.

"N-No I wasn't! I was just going to shut the water off. How was I supposed to know that you were—"

"You are a perverted little spy…and I'm going to tell the whole school about it," Sasuke whispered, leaning into Naruto, his breath ghosting over his cheek and neck.

"I-I'm not…I-I didn't…"

"Unless…you do everything I say," Sasuke said, his lips barely on Naruto's earlobe causing goosebumps to rise on the sensitive skin on his neck.

"W-What do you mean? I-I mean…Get you hands off of me! I don't have to do anything for—"

Naruto was stunned silent as Sasuke's free hand slid between Naruto's legs and squeezed the erection that Naruto was hoping Sasuke wouldn't notice.

"We are playing this game by my rules and if you break them…you will suffer the consequences," Sasuke whispered seductively, still squeezing the insanely hard, covered, flesh in his hand.

"W-Why are you doing this, Sasuke?" Naruto asked through shaky breaths, half-excited and half-terrified of the events unfolding.

Sasuke smirked, before letting go of Naruto's cock. He leaned into him even more, nudged Naruto's neck to the side, and bit down hard on the tanned flesh causing Naruto to cry out in pain and pleasure.

"Because I can," Sasuke said as he backed away from Naruto, then turned around to leave. "I'll be seeing you, dobe," Sasuke said as he walked down the hall, his voice back to its usual monotone, no longer using the seductive bedroom voice that had Naruto ready to cum into his pants. 

Naruto panted against his locker. He shook his head, then finally turned around to reopen it. He stuffed in his math book and papers and made his way to his next class.

What was he going to do?

What the hell was wrong with Sasuke?

What would he do if Naruto didn't follow his rules?

Naruto was pretty sure he wanted the answers to the first two questions, but the last one…he could live without. But…Sasuke didn't even give him any rules. Damn it! Why did his next class have to be English? Sasuke was in this class with him too!

 

***

Naruto walked into his English class. He made sure to keep his eyes off of Sasuke as he slipped into his desk.

"Ah...Naruto, nice of you to join us," Kakashi-sensei said from his desk.

You should talk. You're always late.

"Well since you are late you missed out on getting a partner for this assignment unless one of you guys wants to help him out," Kakashi said to Sasuke and Neji, the only two students finished with the class assignment.

"I'll help him," Neji said, turning his head to Naruto.

Naruto gave him a bright smile. He took a seat in the empty desk next to Neji.

Time passed as the rest of the class (minus Sasuke) worked on their assignments.

"I really suck at grammar and punctuation and stuff," Naruto said to Neji as they read over the instructions to the second part of the assignment.

"You know, Naruto, If you are having trouble in any of your classes I would be more than willing to tutor you," Neji whispered to the blond, his breath ghosting over Naruto's cheek.

Naruto swallowed. "Oh, okay. I'll get b-back to you on that," he stuttered out.

Was Neji flirting with him?

The bell rung signaling the end of class and Naruto packed up his belongings. He said goodbye to Neji after he gave the Hyuuga his phone number so he could call him about tutoring later.

Naruto was about to stand up from his desk when he noticed a note fall in front of him.

Rule No. 1

Stay away from Hyuuga… Looks like you broke that one, dobe.

Naruto swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

"Everything alright with you?" Sai asked as he approached him.

"Y-Yeah of course," Naruto lied. He swiftly packed up his belongings and walked out of the class with Sai. He saw Sasuke leaning against the lockers glaring at him…or was he glaring at Sai?

Sasuke pushed himself of the lockers and walked passed Naruto, but not before whispering, "Room 220, 1:30, you BETTER be there".

Sai didn't hear Sasuke, and Naruto was too afraid to tell him what he said.

Oh God…what had he gotten himself into?

The song is "Don't cha", by the Pussycat Dolls.

Thanks for reading and please continue to review!

Soooo...can anyone guess what Sasuke's plan is? We haven't mentioned what it was, but he has already started to doing it.

Review Responses:

Aff.net

sadistickiss: Thank you so much! Sasuke jerking off is ALWAYS good! LOL Your review was so wonderful it made us so happy! We hope you like this chapter as well!

rara: When I (animehead) read your review I burst out laughing, because I feel the same way when I read other stories. Hooray for massive boners!

Eien_no_Ren: We all know Sasuke is a honry pervert with a twisted personality! LOL Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Allys: The wonderful Allys! The wonderful Allys! Thank you so much for your review. We are glad you liked it, and I (Animehead) laughed so hard at your review from my most recent one shot!

Exane: Ssuke almost did use the picture as his wallpaper on the computer, but then he would spend the whole day jerking off to it!

Xenobia: That's right shove that Sakura action figure in the drawer! Better yet toss it out the window. Sasuke will get rid of her. He doesn't want his dobe looking at anyone else! Even in Naruto's dream! LOL

Dark Toy: (Animehead here) I love Sai, because he is a super pervert and he doesn't hide it! He can't help it, but Sasuke can! The thing about Sasuke is that he is a quiet pervert, THE BEST KIND!!!

Devious Lil Devil: Another Sai lover *Animehead squeals* The shower scene was fun to write. Oh, but Sasuke is really mad now. Neji has come to close to his property!

Mindingmybusiness: Thank you so much. We are honored to hear (or more like read) that this is your favorite story! Perverted Sasuke is always fun.

hina88: Sasuke is making big plans to get to Naruto! Here's your update! Hope you like it!

AnA La PaNa83: Sasuke has the picture, and will hold on to it just in case Naruto needs a little "help" seeing things Sasuke's way!

celticfx: We are very glad you liked it. Thank you for checking out the story! I (Animehead) am a Sai lover so he is usually included in most of anything I write. We wanted to make this story cover their daily lives as well as them interacting on the computer. We are glad it worked out!

ursweetheartless: Exactly! Why take the pic if you didn't want to send it. Maybe Naruto just blamed it on the bottle so he could send the pic and not feel like a huge perv...even though he is one!

narufan: We are happy you liked it! We love you too! Sorry to make you wait.