Don't You Feel It Too?

Don’t You Feel It Too?
Part 5

Um because I’m feeling pathetically lazy now I’m just going to say pairings, rating, and warnings are listed in earlier chappies :)
oh one thing, slight bastardization of Kankuro cuz he’s not very good with emotions either....
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Kankuro cursed silently to himself as he watched Kiba’s speed increase. He did ~not~ want to see the Aburame. This was going to turn ugly and he did not want to be around when the emotions started to spill. Shino was in love and Kankuro knew exactly who the other boy was in love with, he had seen it in those gorgeous eyes just a few days ago. Kankuro had never seen such deep eyes and he had never, ever, in his life seen so much ~love~ directed towards himself. He had never expected that the kikaichu master was in love with him, hell Kiba seemed to be the best option if the Aburame was going to fall in love with another guy. Unfortunately love didn’t work that way and Kankuro didn’t know how to tell Kiba that his best friend was jealous of their relationship. He also didn’t want to tell Kiba he had lied to him and had seen the emotions the Aburame had. He just wanted this whole thing to go away.

Kankuro sighed and looked over to Kiba. Kiba was his boyfriend and his lover. He ~loved~ Kiba. The dog boy was everything he could want. It was just so unfortunate that the last couple of days, all Kankuro could see when he closed his eyes were Shino’s uncovered eyes looking back at him with a love Kiba couldn’t even show. Kankuro did not want to get mixed up in this, he wanted to stay away from Shino and keep everything he had with Kiba. Sure he liked Shino and all but he was not about to give up the happiness he had with Kiba. Shino seemed to understand that, hence the emotional overload.

The sand-nin felt bad for Shino, he really did. Kankuro never had to deal with unrequited love, Kiba was his from the moment he had asked the Inuzuka out. But this was different, Kankuro had felt like something punched him in the face when he had found out Shino’s secret. Shino never seemed so fragile, not even when he was halfway dead from Kankuro’s poison all those years ago. Shino’s feelings seemed to be killing him and it was a frightening thing to witness. Kiba had a right to be worried but Kankuro knew that after the truth came out that Kiba would unintentionally hurt his best friend. Kankuro was determined to keep Kiba guilt free and he knew Shino felt the same way. Unfortunately, someone was likely to get hurt and it looked like Shino was willing to take the fall, just as long as he was never approached by either Kankuro or Kiba. Kankuro felt his chest tighten slightly. Shino was willing to be miserable and lonely as long as he kept his pride... and his best friend. Kankuro never knew someone so selfless and stubborn at the same time.

“Kankuro! We’re almost there you wanna speed it up a bit?” Kankuro smirked slightly but the humor didn’t reach his eyes.

“Why don’t we just not bother him? He doesn’t seem the type to want to talk about his problems.” Kankuro saw Kiba’s frown and mentally sighed. He didn’t want to deal with this ~drama~. Sure he didn’t think Shino should suffer or anything but this love issue he was having was not Kankuro’s problem. Well it wouldn’t be if Kiba would just drop it already.

“Don’t act like an ass. This is my best friend and I’m going to help him. He’d do the same thing for me without expecting anything in return. Now stop being a dick and just be there for emotional support.” Kankuro shook his head as Kiba walked closer to the Aburame house. Kiba didn’t know what kind of ‘emotional support’ Kankuro was going to be. Hell he might as well just rip Shino’s heart out of his chest at this rate, it might hurt the other boy less. Kankuro growled under his breath, seriously, how in the holy hell did he end up in these situations? Kankuro knew he wasn’t the nicest guy and could be a sarcastic asshole when he felt like it, but apparently that seemed to attract people to him. Now he had to deal with being a love interest for someone he was in no way interested... well maybe that was being a little harsh, Shino was a good looking kid under all those clothes and behind those glasses, hell he had the most amazing eyes....

Kankuro shook his head almost violently trying to rid his mind of those thoughts. Nothing good would come of thinking that way towards the Aburame. Kankuro knew that this was going to get ugly and as he walked up the stairs of the Aburame household, all he could feel was a knot beginning to tighten in his stomach. He really hoped everyone would get out of this unscathed. He almost winced as Kiba knocked loudly on the old wooden door. For some reason the sound seemed to echo through his ears until the moment the door opened. Kankuro looked at the man in front of them and suddenly he felt just a bit smaller. Even with those dark glasses Shibi was an intimidating man and Kankuro couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that this meeting had turned from ugly to catastrophic.

“Uh.. Hi Mr. Aburame...look I was wondering if I could talk to....” Without a word Shibi had moved away from the door and offered a hand welcoming them into the house. Kiba turned to look at Kankuro who was shaking his head slightly. He knew he should have just stayed home.

“Shino will be right down.” With that Shibi was gone into another room and Kiba and Kankuro were left to feel uncomfortable in the large living room. Kankuro was not used to feeling uneasy so as he looked around his defensive mechanism kicked in and he smirked.

“So where do you think they hide the porn?” Kiba glared at Kankuro dangerously.

“Don’t be a perv Kankuro.” Kankuro shrugged and moved to make himself comfortable on the couch. His cocky mask fitting right over the twisting feeling in his chest.

“Whatever I just hope we don’t have to mop up tears now.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem.” Kankuro almost jumped at the newcomers voice. He turned around and looked over the back of the couch. Shino stood at the bottom of the stairs, coat zipped up to the very top of his collar and he glasses covering those eyes. Kankuro turned to Kiba who had walked over to Shino and was now standing in front of the taller boy.

“Shino...I really think we should talk. Please?” Kankuro had never seen Kiba beg outside of the bedroom and it was unsettling to see Shino look at the Inuzuka so coldly.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I was just thinking to much, I was stressing out over unimportant things. It’s not something that should trouble you.” As Shino said his words carefully, Kankuro couldn’t help but feel slightly offended and maybe a little angry. Kankuro didn’t like the idea of himself being ‘unimportant.’ It struck a rotten chord with his ego. Kankuro stood up and walked over to Kiba gripping his arm.

“Fine, you have nothing to say to us? Good, I don’t think I could listen to your emotional crap anyway. Come on.” Even as he said it, he felt like the biggest asshole in the world, and that was something new to him. He didn’t care about hurting other people’s feelings but for some reason this didn’t sit right with him. That of course didn’t stop the eldest of the three to drag Kiba out of the house, Akamaru right on their heals. “Fix up your emotional shit otherwise leave it in your bedroom. Kiba doesn’t deserve to be bothered by some emotionally fucked up friend and I don’t feel like hearing it.” With that Kankuro pulled a speechless Kiba out of the house and down the street. He knew that any minute Kiba was going to try and beat the shit out of him but all Kankuro could think of was to get as far away from Shino as possible. Suddenly he didn’t like the way Shino made him feel, it was foreign and made him angry. He was already in love with Kiba, he didn’t need anyone else, especially not Aburame Shino...

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Shino stared out the open door too shocked and ~hurt~ to actually move from the spot he was standing in. Had Kankuro really just said all of that? It wasn’t as if Shino had acted any different then he used to act. He had been cold and aloof, how could that have sent Kankuro into such a speech of being emotional? Shino turned slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Shibi shook his head and turned Shino to look at him. Shino sighed and broke away from his father.

“It’s ok. I’ll be fine.” Shino walked back up the stairs leaving Shibi in the center of the room, a frown marring his features. He hated seeing his son hurt so much, it just wasn’t right.

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Shino closed his door lightly and sighed. He leaned back against the door and tried to figure out what he was feeling. He hadn’t meant to act so cold to Kiba, he just wanted the attention off of his depression. He had thought that would have been the best thing for everyone, apparently that was the wrong thing to do. He closed his eyes behind his dark glasses as he thought of what had gone on downstairs, why had Kankuro gone off like that? The puppeteer had been really kind to Shino recently, what had caused such a change? Shino slowly opened his eyes and made his way to his bed. Taking off his coat and his glasses he felt like he was in some sort of haze. Everything seemed out of focus and he felt slightly dizzy. He sat on his bed and put an arm around his waist trying to figure out what the feeling in his gut was. He tried to take a deep breath but his chest just didn’t seem to want to expand. He was hurting.

It was at that moment that Shino realized he was so upset that he couldn’t even cry. He had thought things would look up if he just pretended he was fine but that seemingly was the wrong thing to do, it just hurt more.

Shino lay back on his bed and looked up at the ceiling. He had talked to his dad about his situation and boy, had that been an odd conversation. He had never had a problem telling his dad anything, but when he was younger there was never any secrets to hide. Now that Shino was older and in love there were new problems and this was one he needed advice on.

He had told his father everything about the last weeks, from the moment he started to feel changes towards Kankuro to how he felt about his and Kiba’s friendship. Shibi had been quiet the whole time, allowing Shino to say everything he needed to get off his chest. Shino had never felt so embarrassed in his whole life, telling his father almost all the intimate feelings he had, but afterwards it had felt like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. Shibi had listened and had even given him some advice. It had been awkward considering how the Aburame clan was raised but Shibi had made sure to tell Shino that he should do what he needed to be happy. Shino knew that it wouldn’t be possible for all three of them to be happy at one time so he was willing to push everything to the side so Kiba and Kankuro could be happy. Shibi of course hadn’t liked the idea of Shino being left behind like that and....Shino had cried in his dad’s arms for the first time ever and that had meant the most to him. Shibi just let him cry and just tried to comfort, it had felt so nice to actually feel a family bond like that and Shino was pretty sure that was all he’d ever find.

At the end Shino had decided to let everything go, he would still hurt but he wasn’t going to let everyone know. It seemed that Kankuro had seen right through that plan and had been angry about it. Shino felt his stomach twist a little at the memory of Kankuro’s anger. What was he going to do now? He didn’t even get a chance to apologize to Kiba for running out of the other boys house, did that mean he didn’t even have a best friend? Shino gripped the sheets as his heart twisted in his chest, he didn’t think he could live without ~anyone~. He may be a loner but he was also human, if he didn’t have his only real friend then what did he have?

Shino could feel the sheets being lifted from under the mattress as he took a little more in his fist. He was feeling sick to his stomach and his head began to pound. The kikaichu were obviously disturbed as they began to crawl out from under his skin. Maybe he really was emotionally damaged, he certainly felt that way at the moment. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths trying to calm his nerves, everything would work out ok in the end...well that’s what he hoped for but for some reason he just couldn’t shake the feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach. It felt a lot like despair.

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Kiba was looking back at the house as Kankuro dragged him away. What the hell just happened? Why had Kankuro just seemed to snap? Kiba blinked a few times then finally managed to snap out of his slight daze. He pulled his arm back roughly and glared as his boyfriend turned around.

“Kiba...” Kiba growled low in his throat and glared dangerously at his boyfriend.

“Don’t you dare! What the fuck was that Kankuro? I went there to actually talk to him. Something is obviously making him very depressed and I want to help! Just because you are an asshole to most people don’t you dare presume that I am just going to turn my back on him! I am supposed to be there for him when he’s feeling bad that’s what friends do! You probably just made him feel ten times worse about whatever is....”

“You wanna know what’s wrong with your ‘best friend’? Well I’ll fuckin tell you. He’s in love with me! That’s why he’s been trying to ignore you. He doesn’t want you to know but if this is how it’s going to be then now you know and we don’t have to hold any secrets!”Kankuro glared as he yelled as loud as Kiba in the rather empty street. “Seeing us together makes him miserable so I did the best thing for everyone and pulled you out of there. Our presence ~hurts~ him. Are you happy now? Now you know why he’s so fucked up. He doesn’t want to loose his best friend because he’s in love with me!” Kankuro took a deep breath and watched as Kiba’s face went blank then suddenly changed into despair.

“Oh god...Kankuro...Shino he...I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before.” Kiba turned quickly. “I have to go back!” Kankuro watched as Kiba sped off with Akamaru and sighed. He hadn’t meant to say it, he really didn’t want to give up Shino’s secret but it was a reflex, a bad one, but a reflex none-the-less. He put a hand to his forehead to fight off the headache that was beginning to form. What the hell did he just do? He had managed to hurt Shino in the two worst ways in a matter of five minutes. He had told Kiba the Aburame’s secret and had yelled to the younger boy about his emotional problems. Kankuro knew he couldn’t leave what he said to either Kiba nor Shino just hanging in the air. He needed to apologize to them both but he especially needed to apologize to Shino. Maybe if he actually used his brain, he could heal some of the hurt he had caused. Slowly he began to walk back to Shino’s house. He could only hope that Shino ~and~ Kiba would forgive him.