What's Left of Us

Sasuke was glad it was summer. True; he preferred the coldest of winters, but there were somethings that could only be accomplished with out the hinderance of snow and ice. It wasn’t a surprise to find the Uchiha compound so run down and ragged upon his return. It had been so long since something other then raccoons had made it their home.

Not that Sasuke would admit it, but he had enjoyed fixing up the place without any chakra. There was something so fulfilling about doing everything by his own volition and muscle strength. It was not easy. And it was a challenge that Sasuke savored. Having finished the house he would be calling home (of course, it was not the one he had grown up in for obvious reasons, but rather one closer to the private training grounds) he was actually considering fixing up and modernizing another house or two. At the very least, it would pass the time. Plus, he found he actually liked architecture and as a shinobi he was no stranger to hard labor.

Sasuke was pulled from his reverie by a stray deer coming out of the brush. Time was such a strange thing. Suddenly Sasuke could remember back as a child how fearful he had been of deers. He remembered helping(hindering) his mother in one of the gardens and how a deer had appeared. Sasuke had screamed and hid behind her. She had laughed an chided him. It was far to long ago, so her exact words had faded. They weren’t important, the over all feeling and sheer vividness of the event was far more precious to Sasuke. He was suddenly very glad he had knocked down the outer wall of the house, replacing it with glass so he could get the natural light and look out at the wooded training grounds . He was currently leaning on one of the support columns. Sasuke had his readers on and a book pressed to his chest. The small smile lingered on his face as he watched the deer.

The knock on his door drew his attention away. Sighing, he placed a hand in his pocket and walked (not unlike his old sensei) book in hand to the door. Pulling it open to the cacophony of people arguing. He could only step aside as the small group entered or risk getting bowled over.

“Oh. My. God. Kiba. Do you really kiss your mother with that mouth?” Ino said, her arms full with a huge bundle of flowers. Much to Sasuke’s disdain, Kiba too seemed to be roped in to caring flowers.

“Ino, kiss my hairy ba--llssss, SASUKE! Shit, you actually are good for something! Look at this place. It’s sexy!” Sasuke nearly fell over at the volume of Kiba’s voice as the dogman spun around to take in the whole newly renovated open layout of the house. Sasuke tried counting back from ten as he let the last guest in before closing the door.

“Tell me again, why did you marry him?” Sasuke asked in a conspiratorial whisper as he offered his arm to the noticeably pregnant woman taking off her shoes.

Hinata smiled gracefully, accepting the help and then joining arms with Sasuke as they walked into his house.

“He makes me laugh,” She said before her point was proven as Kiba made so lewd movement with his hips and flicked Ino off which caused Hinata to laugh. Sasuke shook his head and berated himself for the way his lips wanted to turn up at the stunt as well.

“What’s with the flowers, Ino? This isn’t a warehouse for the your shop.” Sasuke said as he lead Hinata to a stool at the island in the kitchen.

Ino made a face and placed the flowers down next to the sink. Smacking Kiba on the head she took the bundle from his arms as well. Before either could blink he was heading up the stairs saying he was going to give himself a tour.

Ino shook her head dismissively and started to open up cabinets. Sasuke refrained from complaining. He and Hinata shared a look and a silent conversation.

“Looking for something?” Sasuke asked disparagingly.

“Yeah, smart ass, I know I saw you shove some of those pretty crystal vases of your mother’s in here last time I saw...ah ha!” Ino pulled out two of the clear vases each with their own little fan ornately carved into them. Sasuke rolled his eyes and took a seat next to Hinata.

Ino filled them with water before deftly cutting the stems of the flowers under the faucet and arranging them as she spoke.

“I figured you’d need something to brighten up this place... Think of it as a house warming gift.” There was something in the way she said the last line that made Sasuke stop.

Her words had been heavy. Sasuke was missing something, but before he could question the blonde in front of him Kiba came bouncing down the stairs and flung his arms around Hinata.

“Shit. You guys should see what he did upstairs. It’s awesome! You really got a thing for glass though, don’t’cha Sir Glares-a-lot?” Kiba smiled cheekily clearly impressed with his wit.

Sasuke refrained from glaring at him. He settled instead for fixing his gaze back on Ino. He watched her silently, barely listening to Kiba prattle on to his wife about the renovations. Ino began cutting the second bouquet, repeating the process of arranging the flowers in the vases. Clapping her hands together at the end of her task she turned to grab the crystal. She smiled and shook her head a little when she caught Sasuke staring.

“Oh, if only you had given me such a look when we were younger, Sas. It would have set my heart aflame,” Ino said dramatically. Placing a hand over her heart and sighing. Sasuke didn’t bite.

She frowned at him, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder as she carried the flowers into the dinning room. When she came back Sasuke was still watching her. Again, Ino shook her head a little. A somewhat forlorn look sweeping across her face.

“Choji is having a party.” She said finally. As if that explained everything.

It didn’t. Sasuke raised his eyebrow leaning back against the island, elbows on the cool marble counter where his book lay forgotten behind him.

“Oh?” He said after it was clear Ino wasn’t going to elaborate without incentive. He noticed that the conversation between spouses had died down in favor of listening to theirs.

“If you don’t have plans, you’re invited to come...” Ino said hesitantly. Almost like she expected him to decline. Sasuke frowned.

“I see,” Sasuke didn’t really know what to say. The conversation seemed as if it was more complex then Sasuke really understood. He didn’t like it, the tension building in his shoulders was testament to that.

“Do you have plans?” The question was asked slowly, as if Ino didn’t want to know the answer. It was driving Sasuke a little nuts. He could feel both Hinata and Kiba’s eyes on him.

“...No” He answered just as slowly, mockingly. Ino rolled her eyes and waved her hand at him. The weird tension in the room vanishing as if it had never existed.

“Well then you're coming. It’s at seven, dinner’s at eight. And don’t you dare think about cutting out early,” Ino spoke with her usual domineering manner. It was Sasuke’s turn to roll his eyes.

The trio stayed for another hour before departing to get ready for that night. Sasuke didn’t share their enthusiasm. It had been a very long time since he had been to a social gathering...if ever. Come to think of it, Sasuke couldn’t even remember doing anything of the sort. He snorted at the thought. It honestly surprised him that no one had considered him a flight risk with all his anti-social behavior. Even Sasuke himself could admit he had kind of been the poster boy for self destructiveness.

Staring at himself in the mirror briefly as he perused through his closet, it didn’t take him long to seattle on something. Black slacks and a white dress shirt. Hopefully Choji’s would have air-conditioning. Sasuke got dressed quickly, having showered that morning, and made his way to the door. Grabbing the bottle of wine he left on the table for precisely this purpose, Sasuke quickly got on his shoes and left. As he made his way out of the Uchiha compound, Sasuke felt his ever present shadows following him. They kept themselves hidden, but any shinobi worth their salt could feel them. Sasuke snorted. It was kind of ridiculous that they even bothered to keep out of sight.

Choji lived in the center of town and , not surprisingly, close to his favorite BBQ shack. The smell of food and the sound of music and laughter wafted around Sasuke in the warm night breeze. There was also the smell of some fragrant flower in the air. It was from a tree that only grew around Konoha. Sasuke hadn’t even realized he’d missed it till it appeared again in his life after over twenty years of being absent. He had also been quite shocked at how strong the memories were that it had evoked in him. Just subtle moments from a life he barely remembered.

Sasuke pushed back those thoughts. Burying them deep in his subconscious. He didn’t want to think about those memories, didn’t want to think about the three still very much alive people that were absent from his life. Sasuke was good at ignoring things. Good at finding ways to redirect his mind.

Like ringing Choji’s doorbell. The buzzer sounded and Choji mirthful voice crackled over the intercom.

“Come on up!” The door unlocked. Sasuke entered.

Choji lived on the second floor, the door to his apartment wide open. Sasuke briefly marveled at that. Was Konoha really that safe? Her people really that carefree? Had it always been like this? No. Sasuke remembered people locking their doors. They were ninja for heaven’s sake. They knew damn well what hid in the shadows and just how dangerous it could be. They knew that at any second, the village could be under attack, and yet...here was Choji’s door wide open. The ruckus of laughter echoing out into the hall. Even if Konoha was safe enough to warrant such a lack of vigilance, Sasuke knew he could never do such a small thing as leave his door open. He had learned at a very early age that leaving his door open invited misfortune. He would never be able to laugh and relax while even just leaving the door unlocked.

It was a disconcerting realization for Sasuke. How so very different he was from the people inside. How vast the separation was between the types of lives they had lived. Sasuke was pulled from his downward spiraling thoughts by the appearance of Choji himself at the door. Bright smile on his face.

Sasuke could not return it.

“Sasuke? You coming in or are you just going to stand there all night?” He asked good-naturedly, hand on his hip and laughter in his voice.

Sasuke swallowed harshly and nodded his head, his usual noncommittal grunt was the only reply Choji got. Stepping forward he handed him the bottle of wine before shoving his hands in his pockets and going inside, making sure not to brush into Choji.

“Aw, Thanks Sasuke! We can never have enough booze with this bunch,” Choji smiled brightly and headed to his kitchen before shouting a, “Right Kiba?” Kiba shotted back something obscene. Sasuke tried not to smile.

Choji’s apartment was rather cool, in Sasuke’s opinion. A true entertainer’s home that managed to be both spacious and cozy. The long dining room table was the focal point of the combined living and dining space. Piles of food sat along the center and people sat comfortably around the table.

Sasuke nodded at Kiba, who sat next to his wife but was in a very one sided conversation with Shikamaru who sat across from him. Kiba was probably talking enough for the both of them anyways. Ino was on the other side of Hinata, they both smiled at Sasuke before returning to whatever it was they were discussing. Sasuke assumed the man across from Ino was Shino, but honestly he couldn’t tell. It had been so long since the last time they had met. Sasuke only vaguely remembered a guy with sunglasses who liked bugs. That was it. Sasuke was about to go see if Choji needed help, his mother’s lesson on being a guest still present in his mind, but Choji appeared from the kitchen with a full wine glass and handed it to Sasuke.

“Take a seat, take seat. Foods done, but we’re all still talking.” Choji smiled sat at the head of the table. Sasuke shrugged and took the empty chair across from Hinata. He shared a small smile with her as he sat down.

Conversation flowed through the group, and little by little Sasuke relaxed as much as he could. Considering he was surrounded by people and the door was unlocked. At least it was closed. Sasuke wasn’t totally inept at socializing, it seemed. He was participating in the conversations, not grunting responses to stupid questions, and he was even doing a good job at not glaring at Kiba every time the tattooed man opened his mouth. Which was, inevitably, quite often. Sasuke was even kind of enjoying himself. The wine was helping, of course. When dinner was almost finished, Sasuke could say he was actually having fun. Everyone was surprisingly interesting, and the conversations didn’t lull. It was probably the first time in decades Sasuke could say he actually felt like he was fitting in.

“Man, Sasuke,” Choji said after laughing heartily along with the rest of the table at some dry, but incredibly witty remark Sasuke had made. “I am so glad you came tonight, I know it’s Saturday and all, so you are probably missing out, but it’s good to have you here,” Sasuke was confused. The rest of the table was still talking about something else, so the remark from Choji had gone mostly unheard. Shikamaru was watching him. It made Sasuke even more uneasy.

Playing it off, Sasuke leaned back in his chair and swirled the wine in his glass a bit before taking a sip.

“What do you mean I’m missing out because it’s Saturday?” Sasuke tried to keep his tone light, but it didn’t work. He could see Shikamaru tense slightly. Choji had clearly been drinking so he didn’t catch on to Sasuke’s tone. Instead, he chuckled a little and lethargically leaned back in his chair as well.

“Well, cause it’s Team Seven night, duh. Isn’t it a pact or something? To always have dinner on the seventh night of the week?” Choji laughed, shaking his head. “Yeah, Sakura-chan’s always going on about it, how Narut--”

“Choji,” Ino’s voice cut through the din of the room. Sharp. Like a smack to the face.

No. Maybe Choji’s words were more of a smack to the face. Sasuke was acutely aware that all eyes were on him. So this is what Ino had been alluding to earlier. This was what Sasuke hadn’t known about. Team Seven night, huh? Sasuke let a small smirk tug at his lips as he remained the picture of nonchalance. He took a sip of his wine and shrugged.

“I haven’t been a member of Team Seven for a very long time, I’m not missing anything that I have any right to be included in,” His voice was that same quiet tone he used for everything. His trusty mask of indifference riveted in place.

The conversation was forced to start up again. And Sasuke tried to push down the dark and sickening feeling that swirled in his stomach. He hadn’t talked to Naruto since his return eight months ago. He hadn’t spoken to Sakura or Kakashi in over twenty years. Making amends to the people around the table had been easy. After all, he had barely known them when he was last here. He could still feel the space between some of them. Kiba and Shikamaru for instance. Shikamaru didn’t speak to Sasuke with any regularity. The only reason Kiba even did was because Hinata had been the first to befriend Sasuke. Ino was truly the best at faking it, even though like Hinata she truly cared for his well being, Sasuke knew her loyalties did not lie with him. The conversation no longer included Sasuke. And once again, Sasuke was thrust into isolation while still being surrounded by people. He realized, again, that there had only really ever been one person who had been able to break him out of this cell of solitude. One person, who Sasuke missed.