Pining

llyoung: Nice to see you and thanks for reading ^.^ I have to admit that I have this story almost finished and I'm hoping my editor has the time to beta the last chapters in time.
Hello: Yeah I think it's hard for Iruka to face Sasuke. I like to update quick and not to withhold chapters. Although everything is not yet beta'd... but we'll see.
Baku: We discussed about their ages with Anise earlier (I don't like to tell Itachi's age directly so everyone can picture him the way they want). This story happens before the Uchiha massacre (everything else should check out except that Iruka couldn't have been Itachi's teacher) so Itachi would be 13 and Iruka 18, but I myself picture them older. Naruto is missing because Iruka and he aren't so close yet. I dropped cues about the time line; Itachi is an ANBU, Sasuke is still an academy student, the third is the hokage, Naruto is doing his pranks... Obviously I didn't do it well enough ^.^; Ok, I stop ranting now. Glad you liked the story so far, I hope you'll like this chapter as well ^_^
ALD: I'm glad you liked the shower scene, I was a bit nervous about it. And at least you didn't have to read detailed description of Kakashi's relationship with Yamato ^_^
Anise: Well, some questions will have answers in this chapter...

Thank you Demosthenes for editing.

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Oh my. Iruka stood in his bathroom appalled. How on earth am I going to hide these? From the mirror stared back the image of a bedazzled man. A group of angry looking red marks covered his neck. More of them could be found from his chest and abdomen. The dark hickeys went so up on the soft skin of his neck that his normal shirt couldn't possibly cover them all. But it couldn't be helped, it was the only sweater with a proper collar. His left nipple was bruised. It was swollen and maroon.

Itachi had already left and Iruka was drying his dripping wet hair with a towel. He looked at his sad image on the mirror. He could see the wariness and worry shading his usually so gentle eyes. His gaze traveled back to the love bites on his neck. Normally he didn't mind, as long as they didn't show, but this time they felt derogatory. The sheer number of them was ridiculous, like Itachi had wanted to make a point. He was so different last night.. I wonder what's up with him. True, Itachi never had said that he loved him or even that he liked him, but he never had been so mean before. His words had hurt Iruka. It had been more than just teasing. It was like Itachi tried to humiliate him. Does he really get off from that stuff? Maybe it's his thing and it took him this long to have the courage...

But it wasn't Iruka's thing. Iruka felt so dirty, so used, this morning as he woke up. And I thought I was sore yesterday. Iruka winced. I'm not going to be able to sit today at all. He sure can choose the worst time to go mental and have it too rough, he thought as he limped to his bedroom. Fortunately I have only one lesson today but after that I have to go to work in the Hokage's office. Hopefully it's quiet today so I won't have to listen teasing and explain these marks. It took a while to get his clothes on and he didn't have the time to drink his morning coffee.

He limped on the same route he had walked for so many years. I could visit a medical nin, but they're too busy with real patients. And I wouldn't want to explain to them why I need medical attention. As he passed the apartment building where he had seen Kakashi and Yamato the day before, he looked up. He remembered the way Kakashi had smiled to Yamato. How gentle he had been. Even though he said they weren't a couple. Isn't that weird? To be so gentle and so considerate for someone you only sleep with? Iruka stood there a while before continuing his way plaintive.

Itachi never touches me like that. He would never go out with me or show his affection in public. Iruka winced as he took a careless step. Actually we never speak to each other. We only have sex and... Iruka noticed the irony and smiled to himself. The first time they met, at the lake, he had been truly pleased about Itachi not trying to make a conversation with him. He had appreciated the quiet company. And now, well, now he could only think how uncomfortable the silence made him feel. I'm happy that he stays over night, but what's the point really? In the morning he gives me a hasty kiss and then he's gone.

Iruka could see in his mind's eye Kakashi lowering his mask and leaning for a gentle kiss with Yamato. He truly is a handsome man. Why does he wear that mask? He's got such delicate features and nice lips. Why would a man like him hide his face? Iruka blushed slightly. He remembered how Kakashi had petted Yamato's back as he whispered something into his ear. He really seemed to care for him.

Iruka's thoughts shifted to Itachi. He had been extremely rough last night. This was the first time he had rammed into Iruka with such a force that it had made Iruka cry. True, Iruka had cried the first time they had sex, but back then it wasn't because Itachi had been too rough. No, it had been because he was still a virgin and there wasn't an easier way to do it. Back then Itachi was gentle, he had wedged his way in with a patience that would have been too much even for a saint. But last night it had been totally different. Something has changed. Iruka's cheeks were glowing with the heat from thinking of sex. It always made his blood run hot.

The gates of the academy came into Iruka's sight. He limped past them. I wish Itachi could be more gentle and more caring. I'd like to cuddle with him on a sofa watching a movie and eating sweets. Yeah, it would be nice.


Iruka stood behind his teacher's desk leafing through his notes. The bell rang and children rushed in. Soon he could hear the girls giggle, they were throwing glances towards him. Iruka fixed his eyes on his papers and grit his teeth.

"Aaw, sensei has a girlfriend. Who do you think she is?" said a small blond.

"Did you see those hickeys?" continued another.

"Yeah, yeah. They must've had a passionate night." the first one agreed.

If I live through this day I'll kill Itachi. a vein was throbbing on his temple. I have to keep my cool and pretend that everything is just fine, Iruka thought, regaining his posture. He waited until the chatter settled before he lifted his gaze.

"Okay. Today we talk about" Iruka fell quiet as his eyes met with Sasuke's.

The young Uchiha stared back at him his brows lowered. What, why... His normally cool eyes were burning and the crimson of sharingan was flickering in his irises. Iruka forced his eyes away from him.

"Hm, as I was saying, today we talk about hiding your presence." Iruka continued.

The rest of the class went without another incident. Iruka averted Sasuke's gaze and concentrated on the topic. Finally the bell rang. Iruka was grateful it was the only lesson for the day any longer and I would have snapped. He gathered his things and was just about to leave when he noticed the raven haired boy standing in front of him.

"Do you love him?" the words dripped from Sasuke's lips like syllable-sized ice cubes.

"What?" was all Iruka managed to say.

Iruka could feel the blood escaping from his face. He was pale as a ghost.

"Do you love him?" Sasuke repeated emphasizing each word.

"No! I-I mean, I don't know. That is... I'm not having this conversation with you," He answered, not knowing what to think.

"If you don't, then stay away from him. He's mine," the young Uchiha spat.

Iruka's heart was pounding. He knew there could be trouble with Sasuke, but he hadn't expected this. He hadn't given it any thought. Did he love Itachi?

"I understand he's your brother, but what I do in my free time is my business and it has nothing to do with you." Iruka stated with a calm but steadfast voice.

"That's not what I mean. You just stay away from him," Sasuke said, his voice dripping with vitriol.

Sasuke turned around and walked out with calm and steady steps. As the door slammed shut Iruka let out a long sigh. Like things weren't difficult enough without threats from his lover's brother, his own pupil. Iruka waited for few minutes before leaving. The last thing he wanted was to run into Sasuke again on his way out.

The streets were filled with elderly people on their way to the town. The worst time of day. All the aged do their shopping at this time. Fortunately I can go through the park. Iruka crossed a street quickly. 'Do you love him?' Sasuke's voice rang in his head. I don't know... Do I love him? How could I? I don't even know him! I know nothing about him. All we do together is... Iruka blushed.

The park was quiet, though the stillness wouldn't last for long. Soon the gardens would be filled with the old and, when the schoolday was over, the young. Usually at this time Iruka would be working and would know nothing about the chess games or the children playing. Something Sasuke had said bothered Iruka. What did he say? Something about Itachi being his brother and I should stay away from him... No that wasn't it. No, he said Itachi is his. That's weird... He used the words 'he is mine' or something. The nagging feeling grew stronger. And when I said I know Itachi is his brother he said 'That's not what I mean'. So.. what did he mean? He can't mean...

Iruka froze on his steps. Like an icy cold shower the bad feeling washed over him. There was a knot in his stomach tightening, making him sick. He felt like vomiting.


"Yo!" came a familiar voice behind Iruka.

Iruka turned slowly to greet back.

"Are you alright? Are you awake?" asked a worried voice.

Iruka cracked his eyes and saw the concerned jounin leaning over him.

"Hn.. What happened?" Iruka asked and tried to rise up.

"You fainted." Kakashi answered and pushed him back down "You shouldn't get up so quickly."

Iruka lay down again. Everything was fuzzy. He blinked few times and things started to come back to his mind. Itachi and last night... Sasuke and...

"Hey, don't faint again!" Kakashi yelled.

"No, I'm alright. I should get going." Iruka tried.

"No, you just lay there for a while. You're pale, even your lips are white."

Kakashi leaned closer, he pressed his masked cheek against Iruka's. The earthy scent of the older man filled Iruka's head, his heart picked up its pace and the warm cheek against his made his blood run hot. Kakashi sat up.

"You're cold... What? Now your cheeks are red!" Kakashi marveled.

He leaned forward again and felt Iruka's cheek with his own.

"Now you're hot. I've never seen anything like this, maybe you should go to see a medical nin." Kakashi said sitting up.

"No, it's fine. I feel fine." Iruka stated keeping his eyes away from the jounin.

"Does this happen often?" Kakashi asked.

"No. Actually, I think this is the first time I've fainted, how embarrassing." Iruka answered.

"I see." Kakashi smirked "Where were you going?"

"To the Hokage's office," Iruka said sitting up, the pain in his rear made him wince.

"Here, let me help you." Kakashi helped him to his feet "I'll walk you there".

"No, it's not necessary. I'm feeling much better now. I haven't eaten anything today, so it must've been my blood sugar," Iruka tried.

"Hn. Well, I'm going to the Hokage's office anyway, so we might as well walk together."

"Oh, okay then." Iruka reluctantly agreed.

Iruka winced again as he took the first steps. He grit his teeth and hoped Kakashi hadn't noticed. Of course he has noticed. He's the famous copy-nin after all. Iruka waited for Kakashi to make a remark or to ask something, but he didn't. He just walked there beside Iruka without any questions, silent and... Reading a book. He's reading a book! Sure Kakashi had his book with him everywhere, but somehow Iruka hadn't expected him to read his Icha Icha now. Iruka turned his gaze back to the street. That's right. He's just being polite. It's not like he wants to be here with me, and he just happened to be there when I... um, fainted. He felt obligated to help and see that I get to work.

"What are you thinking so hard?" Kakashi asked.

"Nothing really." Iruka answered, blushing.

"I see."

He didn't even look at me. Did he sense it? Too soon they came to the Hokage's office building. Kakashi helped Iruka in by opening the doors, he even helped Iruka sitting behind his desk.

"Thank you for all you’ve done. I probably couldn't have managed to get here without your help," Iruka offered.

"It was nothing. Just remember to eat something before you faint again."

"I will. Let me treat you dinner someday" Iruka added, "just to thank you properly" with a wide smile.

Kakashi stared at him baffled, his features relaxed as he agreed. Then he said 'see you' and was gone with a puff and a twist of smoke. Iruka sat behind his desk staring at the spot where Kakashi had stood. He said he had business in here.

It's a bit cold here... What! Iruka was shocked to find his vest was open and his shirt's high collar was torn down to his chest. Damn it. He could have said something. I can't be seen like this. he stood up too fast for his still sore behind and stormed into the supply room. He searched the piles of official attire to find a new shirt of his size. He would pay for it later. He stripped the torn shirt and pulled a new one over his head. Oh no. He must've seen... Shit! On my neck and on my chest too! Iruka could feel his heart pounding, rushing the blood in his veins, throbbing in his head. What kind of conclusions he must've made! Why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he ask anything?

Iruka was feeling light headed again. He rushed into the room he worked in and sat behind his desk. Sitting was painful but he couldn't be standing there if someone walked in. A cheese sandwich and a can of ice-coffee waited in his briefcase. Iruka lifted his lunch to the desk. He shook the coffee can, tore the plastic wrapping and took the first bite. He hadn't even realized how hungry he was.

'He's mine.' the words penetrated the obscure barrier which had kept them from entering Iruka's consciousness. His heart missed a half beat. He said he would talk to Sasuke. But it isn't normal... Sasuke shouldn't think of his brother that way. Iruka sipped the coffee. It wasn't as cold as it should be, but it was drinkable. Boys at his age might have crushes on someone of their own gender or on someone unattainable. But to have a crush on your own brother? He took the last bite of his sandwich and tossed the plastic wrapping into a bin.

Of course I could be wrong... He knew he wasn't. It was one of those feelings you get from your guts. The implicit knowledge that you know you were right, without even a hint of doubt.

He really has deep feelings for Itachi, otherwise he would never threaten a teacher. What should I do? I should have a serious talk with Itachi. Iruka drank his coffee. 'Do you love him?' there had been such sincerity and dark tone in Sasuke's voice. Iruka had come to like Itachi very much, to care for him, but love... No, he didn't love Itachi. At least not yet. Maybe in time he would, but not yet.