Sex: M/F/Other?

Sex: M/F/Other?

By: ladygizarme

Beta: sasukeskyuubi

Additional Disclaimer: I don’t own the anime/manga or characters making minor crossover appearances this chapter. (Ramen and pocky for anyone who knows which ones they're from.)

Warning: don’t think there’s any necessary this time… unless I should warn you of the cliché, totally thought-up-on-the-fly movie plot contained herein… oh! And Japanese usage! Um… not a lot, just mainly for names of a few items:

Uchikake: the ornate top layer of a Japanese woman’s traditional wedding kimono
Obi: the sash tied around the waist/belly of a kimono
Kaiken: a small Japanese dagger, carried by a woman as part of the traditional wedding garb

…can’t remember if there’s more…

Thanks!! To all my reviewers, and to sasukeskyuubi for being my sounding board when I can’t decide one thing or another. And for picking the female lead in the movie! Details, details, ne?

A/N: Happy New Year! I’m still alive! Terribly sorry for being so late! More explanation for the delay after the chapter. Which, by the way, is the longest yet in this story—31 pages, without my header or notes on Times New Roman size 12 text in MS Word. *sharp nod*

Before I get to the chapter, however, there’s something I need to address. It was suggested to me in a review that I emphasize for the readers that Naruto is not going to be over-ukefied in this fic. While his body is female, he is completely male in every other way. To further clarify this, I’ve changed the summary details from “SasuNaruSasu” to “NaruSasuNaru”. Though this makes no actual difference in my plans for their relationship, I thought it might make my intentions more obvious to the readers. I think, maybe, sometimes people think of SasuNaruSasu as Naruto “having a turn once or twice” instead of the relationship being equal. Let me state clearly now: there are no set seme/uke roles in this fic, and Naruto is every bit as male as Sasuke, barring the anatomical discrepancy.

Now on with the show, dattebayo!


Chapter Four: Weekend Routines, Cliché Scenes

Naruto wasn’t sure what was worse: his guilt for eating so much ramen yesterday; his guilt for how he got rid of it; his guilt for not eating today to make up for it; or his guilt for falling asleep on Haku during lunch, after not eating the food his friend had brought him. He hated guilt. Guilt made him feel that hole in the pit of his stomach again. He hated that hole. That bottomless pit that urged him to fill it, which sparked that aggressively loud, yet voiceless nagging in the back of his head that urged him to empty it again. It was a vicious cycle. Guilt led to no good.

So, rather than let himself wallow in guilt, Naruto shook his head clear and thought of nothing. Nothing, nothing, he let his brain buzz; until he felt numb enough to go through the motions of going to the bathroom and taking the dose of pain pills Shizune had left waiting in a little cup on the small stand beside his infirmary cot. Then he lay himself back in the cot, pulled the white sheet over himself—shoes and all—and listened some more to the buzz in his head until his body succumbed to sleep once more. He felt so lethargic.

Just a couple more hours, and he could go home to his own bed.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*

Sasuke frowned at the clock on the wall of the Student Council classroom. It was Friday, and on Fridays, the Student Councils for both the junior and senior high met in a combined meeting after regular clubs were over. The meetings were held in the senior high.

This was not why Sasuke was frowning, however, despite the fact he held a special loathing for the combined meetings, due to his brother Itachi being the Senior Student Council President. No, he was not frowning because he had to spend at least a half hour trapped in a classroom with his brother and six other people he didn’t care for. No, actually, it was the fact there were only six other people currently trapped in this room with him at the moment that made him frown. The meeting had started ten minutes ago, and Itachi still wasn’t there.

Where the hell was his brother? Sasuke turned his glare from the clock to the door. Still no Itachi.

He tried to turn his attention back to the meeting, which was currently being run by the Senior Vice President in Itachi’s stead. As he did so, Sasuke caught the Senior Secretary—Hyuuga Neji—looking at him intently. Sasuke quirked a brow at the first year senior, which was returned in like fashion along with a small smirk before the Hyuuga turned his attention back to the Vice President, reminding Sasuke of his intention to do the same.

The intensity of Neji’s gaze reminded Sasuke of something else as well, though. All day—or, at least, ever since lunch—he couldn’t shake the feeling that people were looking at him strangely. Irrational as it was, he couldn’t help but think people were suspicious, maybe even talking about him—and not in the usual, annoying, adoring fangirl way. Memories of his lunchtime conversation with the Yukimura girl brought on paranoia that the girl had went against his instructions and told someone. Sasuke had to struggle to keep his stoic mask on the rest of the day as his paranoia grew, making him sure every eye he caught was looking at him strangely and every whisper just out of range of his hearing was about him and his newly-discovered secret. It didn’t help that he’d been having random sneeze attacks throughout the day, as well.

As the paranoia began creeping up on him again, a girl standing by the window—the Senior Treasurer—suddenly exclaimed.

“Look, there’s Uchiha-senpai!”

As if commanded by her words, every head in the room turned towards where the girl was looking out the window. What Sasuke saw when he looked made his blood run cold.

Itachi was standing near the school gates, talking to a girl. Not just any girl, either. The Yukimura girl was standing there, nodding and then shaking her head in the negative to Sasuke’s older brother. The younger Uchiha’s eyes narrowed and he pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting the urge to sneeze as he watched the scene from above and at a distance.

“Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Uchiha?” A deep voice asked in a superior tone from behind Sasuke. Both the voice and the tone were easily labeled as one Hyuuga Neji.

The young raven scoffed at that, “Hardly.”

Though, even as he said this, his actions seemed to speak to the contrary as he continued to watch his brother speak to the girl. Of course, jealousy was not the real reason behind his actions—Sasuke had absolutely no desire for any girls, let alone the girl his brother was currently speaking with, though Neji did not and could not know this. So, in order to cover for himself, Sasuke added, “I’m just wondering what’s so important that Itachi would skip out on a Student Council meeting.”

As if he could hear his name being spoken, Itachi suddenly looked up in the direction of their window. In fact, Sasuke could almost swear his brother locked eyes with him and Itachi’s mouth quirked into a small smirk before returning to its usual emotionless mask and turning back to the girl. Then they said their goodbyes and Itachi headed back towards the school building as the Yukimura girl continued out the school gates, meeting up with a blonde head that Sasuke could just barely glimpse to recognize above the large hedges that ran along the inside perimeter of the tall, wrought iron fence enclosing the school grounds.

Seeing their President returning, the SC members returned to their seats and awaited his arrival for the continuation of their meeting.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*

Haku was still pondering his short conversation with Itachi as he met back up with Naruto and they made their way to the bus stop. As they neared their destination, a loud, female voice interrupted his musing.

“It’s about time you guys got here!”

A girl with long, blonde hair, held up in a high ponytail with a purple scrunchy hair tie, called out to them. She stood with her hands on her hips, right next to the bus stop sign. When the two boys focused on her, she lifted one hand to point at a boy sitting on the curb behind her, his back against the sign post, his face turned up to the cloudy sky.

“Shikamaru’s already been here for several minutes, for Kami’s sake!”

“You make it sound like an insult, Ino,” a heavyset boy commented from the other side of the sign post, between bites of potato chips.

“Well, it is,” Ino replied. “Shika’s a lazy ass! He acts as if it’s a chore just to walk from school to the bus stop! Anyone that can manage to show up later than Shika must be even more of a lazy ass!”

“Hey—” the boy with brown hair in a high, spiky ponytail—who was currently the topic of insult—attempted to scowl at her, but only managed halfway before giving up on the effort and returning to his cloud-watching with a lazy shrug. It was true, after all.

Ino put her hand back on her hip, looking triumphant.

“I-Ino-chan,” a soft voice interjected. The short, black-haired, lavender-eyed girl to whom the voice belonged stood against the nearby wrought-iron fence. “N-Naruto-kun has been ill. H-He was in the infirmary all day the p-p-past two days.”

The blonde girl looked slightly surprised at that, her eyebrows lifting a bit. “That right?”

Naruto and the pale-eyed girl both nodded fervently. Ino still looked skeptical.

The cloud-gazer formerly identified as Shikamaru sighed harassedly before adding his own confirmation. “Haku came and told us during lunch today. If you’d been there, you’d know.”

Ino glared at the world in general, not appreciating being reprimanded. She was the junior president of the Uchiha Sasuke fanclub; of course she would have to miss lunch when an emergency lunchtime meeting was called by her fellow officers! Refusing to let the heat stay on her, Ino narrowed her eyes and retorted, “Hmph, probably just slacking off from class again.”

Naruto made a sour face. “Hey, I don’t slack off!”

Ino crossed her arms and cocked her hip out haughtily, “What do you call your performance in Home Ec., then? Star pupil behavior? You always find a way to shirk most of the responsibilities for a project onto your class partner. The only time you really get involved is when we’re cooking, and even then, most of your participation has to do with eating the food! And I can’t help but notice that you were conveniently absent for our sewing assignment today, an assignment we don’t get partners for.”

“Hey, I do my part! I’m just not as good at those Home Ec. things, so if we want a good grade, it’s better for my partner to do the important parts!”

“Anyone can clean up, idiot, you could at least do that much afterwards!”

“I do!”

“Not good enough,” Ino exclaimed, getting more worked up. “In case you forgot, I was your last kitchen lab partner, and we lost a whole letter grade because of your shoddy clean up!”

Naruto gaped at her. “You took so long with prep, I only had a couple minutes to wash the dishes and wipe down the counters!”

“If you had helped it wouldn’t have taken so long! Besides, you could’ve started clean up while I was still cooking, you know,” the ponytailed girl countered.

Naruto scowled, “In case you forgot, I was filling out the lab worksheet for us!” He threw his hands in the air as he spoke, growing exasperated.

Ino’s grip on her crossed arms tightened and her eyes narrowed to slits as she walked towards him and spat, “That takes, what, five minutes? Face it, Naruto, you’re just a slacker, and sexist to boot!”

“What?!” Naruto squawked in indignation.

She leaned into his face to seethe, “You made me do all the work in the kitchen, just because I’m a girl!”

Now Naruto was pissed. Clenching his fists, he demanded, “Take that back! It’s not true and you know it! You’re just a better cook than me, plus you always get mad at me when I get in your way in the kitchen!”

“Tch, whatever, you don’t understand what it’s like to be stereotyped just because you’re a girl.” Ino turned, nose in the air, and walked back to the sign post where several other students were now gathered. The bus was here.

“C’mon, Hinata,” Ino demanded.

Everyone watched in a daze as Ino elbowed her way to the front of the line, the smaller, blushing girl following the blonde with an apologetic look towards her friends and… well, everyone, really. Ino impatiently tapped her foot once she got to the front of the line, waiting for the door to open. When it did, she stomped on board, flashing her student pass at the driver before shoving her way through the other passengers, dragging Hinata along with her. The rest of the group of friends blinked silently at Ino’s behavior, before the relative silence (other than the bus engine and bustle of the other students) was broken by Naruto’s screech.

“What the hell was that about?!”

Shikamaru let out a long sigh towards the sky. “Must be her time of the month again. Girls,” he sighed again. “So troublesome.”

He got to his feet and patted sidewalk dirt off the back of his pants before putting his hands in his pockets and slouching over to the bus line.

“Mm-hmm,” Chouji agreed, nodding his head while he followed his friend.

Haku felt an eerie prickle wash over him and immediately looked at Naruto. The blonde’s head was down, most of his face hidden beneath the shadow created by the fringe of his hair, but Haku could easily see that his friend’s jaw was clenched, his shoulders tense beneath his orange backpack, his fists in a deathgrip on the straps. He could tell Naruto was almost physically restraining himself from retorting Shikamaru’s thoughtless statement. Of course, the other boy didn’t know Naruto would take such a thing personally.

“Naruto…” Haku said quietly, trying to convey his empathy. It was times like this that really reminded him how his best friend straddled the gender fence; it was so easy to forget otherwise.

“Heh heh,” Naruto chuckled lowly with a forced grin. “That explains it, huh, Haku?”

Haku frowned minutely, watching Naruto follow his friends to the bus. The line was nearly gone now, and Shikamaru would board next. Sighing to himself, Haku followed the other boys onto the bus, and the door closed behind him.

“So, it’s a no-school Saturday tomorrow, what are we doing?” Chouji asked the group in general when they were all reassembled together on the bus.

“I think the weather’s supposed to be nice, want to hang out in the city?” Haku suggested.

“Yeah, we could go to Fourth Street Park,” Chouji agreed. “What do you think, Shikamaru?”

The ponytailed boy shrugged, “Skating Fourth Street’s fine. I don’t really care what we do, as long as it gets me out of the house.”

“Hmph, you just want to get out of helping your mom with chores. Typical,” Ino remarked sourly.

“Well, how about you, Ino?” Haku asked, hoping to avoid another confrontation involving the girl.

The blonde girl huffed. “I’d rather see a movie. That new samurai one, Ronin, with Uryuu Ishida just came out.”

“Tch,” Shikamaru sighed almost inaudibly.

Almost. Ino heard it and pounced, her head whipping back in his direction so fast she smacked Hinata in the face with her ponytail. Or she would’ve, if said brunette hadn’t been used to her friend’s antics already and dodged.

“What?! Got something against Ishida-sama?” Ino demanded.

Shikamaru sighed again, regretting sighing the first time. “I don’t have anything against him, he’s a great actor.”

“Then what’s with the sigh?”

Shikamaru groaned and looked at the bus ceiling, wishing there were a sunroof so he could see the clouds. Or wishing he were a cloud, so he wouldn’t have to be bothered with this troublesome conversation. Either or.

Taking sympathy on his hassled friend, Chouji answered, “You only like him because you think he’s cute.”

“He’s not cute, he’s hot!” Ino corrected adamantly.

“Isn’t that the guy that looks like a dorky version of Sasuke?” Naruto wondered aloud, inadvertently drawing his friends’ attention to him.

“Ishida-sama isn’t dorky!” Ino insisted.

“He wears glasses,” Naruto pointed out.

“No he doesn’t! That’s just a character he plays on that shinigami TV show!”

“‘That shinigami TV show,’” Naruto mimicked. “Like you don’t watch it every week and already know it’s called Bleach.”

“Well, you obviously know what it’s called, too, so what does that say?” the blonde girl countered.

Naruto gave her an obvious look. “That I like watching guys with huge swords and weird powers fight in supernatural settings with awesome CG effects?”

“Pfft, yeah, not to mention a certain brainless bimbo with insanely huge boobs prancing around with her idiot doe eyes, saying she can help fight but only getting in the way, and never even having enough guts to tell the guy she loves that she loves him!”

“You do realize you’re discrediting a show you like, right?” Shikamaru asked lowly, one brow rising as he lazily watched his friends argue again. What little effort he made, however, was ignored as Naruto shouted over him.

“What’s wrong with Orihime?!”

“I believe I already said ‘brainless bimbo’. She’s only there for the eye candy, and I, personally, get nothing from her character.”

“There’s more to Orihime than that! Sure she’s cute and sweet and seems a little ditzy sometimes, but she’s also selfless, strong in character, and a really loyal friend!”

“Oh, yeah, real loyal! She only—”

The rest of the group, knowing the two blondes would go on forever if they weren’t stopped, decided to take matters into their own hands at that point. Before it really got out of hand. So, as Haku grabbed Naruto and Hinata tried to calm Ino, Chouji blew his empty chip bag up like a balloon and popped it—loudly— gaining not only the blondes’ attention, but most of the other bus passengers as well. Silence reigned for several seconds, before the other passengers realized what the commotion was and turned their attention back to their own business.

“Nicely done, Chouji,” Shikamaru remarked. “I can hear myself think again.”

Ino gave a scathing remark, but it was muffled by the hands Hinata was now holding over the blonde’s mouth. The shorter girl looked nervous and was blushing at her bold action; nevertheless she steadfastly held her ground.

“U-um… so-sorry, Ino-chan. You were both getting off the subject, though, and disturbing the other p-passengers.”

Ino glared a bit, but kept silent as the hands were removed from her mouth, merely turning her glare back to Naruto, then the other three boys.

Peering at the blondes cautiously, Haku picked up where they should have left off. “Right… so… back to the topic at hand. Hinata?”

The pale eyed girl smiled at him timidly but encouragingly. “Well, we could do both, couldn’t we? I-I wouldn’t mind doing both… as long as father doesn’t find out I went to Fourth Street.”

“Naruto?”

The blonde boy sheepishly scratched the back of his head as he answered. “A-actually, I’m still not feeling well. I don’t know if I’m up for skating this weekend. I wouldn’t mind seeing Ronin. It’s supposed to be really good. Plus if we go Saturday afternoon, there’s a double feature with the new Bleach movie.”

“Wow, Naruto, you must really feel awful if you’re not even gonna skate,” Chouji remarked.

“Yeah,” Ino piped in, scrutinizing Naruto suspiciously. “What do you have, anyway? It’s not contagious, is it?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Naruto was quick to assure, waving his hands as he shook his head. “I think I just got some bad food poisoning yesterday or something.”

“It must be bad if it lasted this long,” said Chouji.

Naruto only nodded.

The majority of the decision-making process being done, Haku took a vote on going to the movie. Of course, if some people wanted to do something other than the majority vote, they were free to, but the friends preferred to spend their free Saturdays together whenever possible. Everyone agreed to the movie, Shikamaru shrugging his indifference, and plans were made to meet the next day at the theater. Minutes later, everyone but Naruto and Haku were exiting the bus—Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji lived in the same neighborhood, and Hinata was going to Ino’s. Naruto and Haku still had a bit of a ride left, including transferring buses in a few stops’ time, as they were interschool magnet students and actually lived in a different school district.

Haku couldn’t help but notice how quiet Naruto was on the ride home once the others were gone. The normally lively blonde didn’t speak unless prompted, and looked tired despite having most likely slept in the D-and-T all day. The older boy decided to just observe for now, rather than comment. He already knew Naruto was feeling less than normal, so what was the point in bringing it up?

With the silence, Haku couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander. There were plenty of things to think about, not the least of which were the upcoming school finals, however he kept finding himself going back to the recent conversation with Itachi.

It had been surprising enough to come across the senior standing by the school gate, especially knowing Itachi should have been in a Student Council meeting at that time. It had been downright shocking to find out the senior was actually waiting for him, however. Even now, Haku was amazed he’d kept his usual cool, under the circumstances.

Then the conversation… well, that was just…

“Haku-kun,” Itachi greeted coolly as Haku approached the school gate with Naruto.

Haku cringed slightly at the greeting, disliking the way his name sounded when people tacked ‘kun’ onto it. It made him think of those stereotypical evil laughs in manga. He also disliked the shortened version people sometimes used, ‘Hakkun’, because it sounded like a sneeze.

“Please, Uchiha-senpai, just call me ‘Haku’,” he requested.

The older boy nodded in acknowledgement. “Haku, I need to have a word with you.”

Nodding with a look of bewildered curiosity, Haku sent Naruto ahead of him.

“What is it, Uchiha-senpai?” he asked once they were alone and had stepped off to the side a little.

“I heard a rumor that you spent part of lunch today with my younger brother. Is this true?”

Technically that knowledge wasn’t covered by Sasuke’s request for secrecy, Haku figured, seeing as he already knew several students had probably seen Sasuke drag him off. Nevertheless, Haku’s nod was slow and cautious. At this answer, Itachi seemed to nod to himself. After a moment in which Haku figured Itachi was thinking to himself, the older, raven haired teen looked directly into Haku’s eyes and spoke again.

“Normally, I might go about this more cryptically. However, at the moment, I have no patience for such games so I will just ask my questions plainly. I request that you answer in like manner.”

Haku nodded his agreement automatically, as if compelled to do so by a will not his own.

“Were you making out with my brother during lunch?”

Haku’s eyes widened and he shook his head almost violently in the negative. A raised brow and stern look from Itachi urged him to find his voice and answer, “No!”

Satisfied Haku understood how to answer properly, Itachi continued. “Are you now, or have you ever been in a relationship with my brother? Be it romantic, sexual, or otherwise?”

“No, we’re not even friends,” the younger teen answered truthfully.

Itachi gazed at him, and Haku resisted the urge to shudder at the eerie, soul-piercing intensity. He knew—just knew—he could not lie to this man even if he wanted to. Itachi would surely know and would creep inside his mind and torture his soul to get the truth out of him! Or… something equally scary, but more realistic. Haku had to control another shudder as he shook himself out of his weird, Naruto-like imagination to concentrate fully on Itachi again.

“What was the purpose of your interlude with him during lunch, then?”

Haku felt a nervous chill run down his spine as he answered, “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you.”

Itachi’s stern look returned and Haku clarified, “Sasuke has sworn me to secrecy, and I am honor-bound to oblige his request.”

Itachi’s eyes narrowed. “Nothing of Sasuke’s life is secret to me.”

“Um,” Haku stuttered, brow furrowing with his thoughts and head shaking slightly in the negative. “I’m sorry, Uchiha-senpai, but if that were true, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Itachi’s brows rose at the boldness. “Touché.” He turned his head back to the Senior building behind him for a moment, then looked back at Haku. “Very well, answer me one more thing, though.”

Haku nodded minutely, waiting for the last question in his interrogation.

“Does Sasuke know you are a boy?”

Haku wasn’t expecting this one, and found himself nodding ‘yes’ automatically—surely everyone at school knew by now—but stopped himself. Memories of things Sasuke had said to him—both during lunch today and yesterday in the showers—came to him suddenly and he realized: maybe Sasuke didn’t know. In fact, in all likelihood the other boy had no clue Haku was anything other than his preferred school uniform made him appear.

“No, I don’t think he does, actually.”

Itachi nodded absently, his suspicions apparently confirmed. “I think it best if you leave Sasuke in the dark about that, for now,” the raven haired senior said, earning a questioning look from the freshman. “This is for his own good. I believe he is unable to handle such information as of yet. I trust you to respect my wishes.” With that, he thanked Haku with a nod and bid him goodbye.

Since that conversation, Haku couldn’t help his curiosity. Did Sasuke really think he was a girl? If so, that might explain some of Sasuke’s earlier reactions, not to mention his declaration that Haku wouldn’t understand. Would it really be so bad for him to know the truth? A better question for now was probably: did Haku want to risk the wrath of the older Uchiha by informing the younger? Was it really so important for Sasuke to know?

On that note, why was Itachi so concerned in the first place? It was common knowledge that the older Uchiha was gay and openly dating another senior, Akasuna Sasori. He wouldn’t really be upset that his little brother is gay as well, would he? Maybe he was just a protective older brother and looking out for his sibling’s well-being; Haku himself could understand that, as he could be rather protective of Naruto, too.

But where in the world would Itachi get the idea that there was anything even remotely romantic going on between Haku and Sasuke?!

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*

Sasuke glared at Itachi suspiciously as they got into the black Escalade. The SC meeting had ended several minutes ago and the two brothers were getting ready to head home. Sasuke hadn’t had any chances yet to find out what Itachi had been up to talking to the Yukimura girl, but he was determined to find out. The younger boy’s glare deepened as his older brother ignored him, getting into the SUV and buckling up, checking his mirrors, and starting the engine all without a glance to Sasuke.

As they were pulling out of the school parking lot, Sasuke couldn’t take it any longer.

“Well?!”

Itachi glanced at him sideways before returning his eyes to the road, his head never turning. “Well what?”

“Don’t pull that, Itachi, you know what I’m talking about!”

Sasuke could see Itachi’s mouth twitch slightly as he suppressed a smirk. “I’m sure I have no idea, otouto.”

Sasuke growled childishly at his older brother. Itachi hardly ever called him ‘otouto’ unless he was being purposely patronizing. “What were you talking to Yukimura-senpai about before you came to the meeting today?!”

Itachi remained silent until they stopped at a light. Then he turned to Sasuke and ruffled his hair brotherly, earning another growl of irritation from the younger boy, who immediately smacked the hand away and tried to fix the damage.

“That’s none of your concern,” Itachi answered lightly, amused by his brother’s reactions.

“Don’t give me that shit, Itachi!”

“Language, Sasuke,” Itachi interjected mildly.

“Whatever,” Sasuke huffed, hunching back into his seat and crossing his arms angrily. “You’re so irritating.”

“I know,” Itachi replied simply.

Knowing he wasn’t going to get any answers out of his brother, Sasuke turned the radio on full blast and brooded the rest of the way home.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*

When Naruto and Haku got home, Naruto went immediately to the bathroom and then to his room, wanting nothing more than to sleep away the rest of his period—though, for the moment, he’d settle for the rest of the day. It wasn’t to be, though, as not much later both Shizune and Tsunade were home and insisting it wasn’t good for him to hole up in his room like that. It wasn’t like the normal Naruto, and they were concerned for him. So the blonde teen was made to spend time with his foster family and eat dinner with them.

It really was for his own good, especially considering his current lack in nutrition; but like most kids that are made to do something they don’t want to do ‘for their own good’, Naruto felt parentally hassled and grumpy. Still, he managed to get through dinner, especially once his body was reminded of how empty it was and how much it wanted the food on his plate. He consciously stopped himself from gorging, though, not wanting to pay for it later. Or to make himself pay for it.

Once dinner was finished and the usual accompanying conversation topics were done with, Naruto breathed a sigh of relief, fully ready to retreat back to his room. Once again, though, his plans were thwarted, as Tsunade folded her hands together on the table and cleared her throat loudly to speak.

“Naruto,” she said in a calm but stern voice, immediately gaining the blonde boy’s attention and giving him the feeling that he was in trouble. “I know that you spent the day in Shizune’s office, again.”

Tsunade watched as Naruto’s eyes widened and immediately shifted in the direction of Shizune, who immediately confirmed with a short nod, feeling slightly scolded herself. She had, after all, spent much of lunch discussing her decision with Tsunade. Naruto’s face then took on the expression of a scolded puppy, even ducking his head a little. The only thing missing from the effect were puppy ears and tail. It was rather endearing, despite the fact she was a bit ticked with him.

“But, Tsunade-ba—I mean, Tsunade! I really did feel awful! I still do!”

“You can’t keep doing this, Naruto,” she scolded. “I do know what it’s like to have a period, you know, and I understand that it’s hard for you. But you need to learn how to live normally with it. You will go to class on Monday, no excuses.”

Feeling chastised and grumpy again, the blonde boy grumbled a, “Fine.” Then he immediately left the table to finally get ready for bed.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*

Sasuke was immensely relieved to come down to dinner that night and find the dining room empty and his mother setting service for two on the small kitchen table.

“Oh, hello, Sasuke,” Mikoto greeted her younger son with a warm smile. “Your father is at work and Itachi is out with Sasori-kun, so it’s just you and me tonight, it looks like.”

“Okay,” he replied softly.

“Would you like some green tea, dear?” she asked, and poured him some from the teapot after he answered with a nod.

Sasuke sat down with his cup and watched his mother finish the dinner preparations. As he sipped the warm beverage, he mused over how much things changed, even as they seemed to stay the same. Even without you really noticing.

It wasn’t that long ago that he would have been devastated by the absence of his father or brother at the dinner table, let alone both of them. He’d so craved their attention and approval back then, his every waking moment seemed to be dedicated to activities sure to gain their praise. It seldom worked, especially where his father was concerned, yet Sasuke persevered and continued diligently in his quest. Even the smallest pat on the head or shine of recognition in dark, wizened eyes had filled the younger Sasuke with a feeling of accomplishment and self-worth.

When his father had been promoted to Senior Detective a couple years ago, it had been really hard on Sasuke at first. The small amount of time he’d had with his father daily became even smaller and farther between. This led to him feeling even more urgency to gain his father’s approval, the same approval Itachi seemed to own without any effort at all.

Then Itachi started spending more of his free time with his friends (and boyfriend) instead of with Sasuke, and it really hurt the younger boy; just as much, if not more than his father’s frequent absence. For, as much as Itachi could be an irritating older brother; as much as he was Sasuke’s rival in paternal love and attention; as much as Itachi was hatefully perfect; Sasuke craved his brotherly love and attention, too. After all, Itachi had always paid more attention to Sasuke than their father did, anyway. With that aspect of his daily life suddenly missing on a regular basis, Sasuke had begun to lose confidence in himself and to dwell in his loneliness.

Luckily, his mother had seen the signs of Sasuke’s decline, and had spoken to Itachi about the situation before it got out of hand. Itachi had agreed to make more time for Sasuke, and made good on his promises. Of course, when Sasuke realized the “conspiracy”, he’d been none too happy. He’d yelled at his brother that he hated him, and didn’t need him to baby him just because their mother said to, then he’d locked himself in his room.

Thinking about it now, Sasuke was probably lucky his father hadn’t been home for that fiasco. He would have been in a lot more trouble than the worried pleas and apologies he’d heard through the door from his mother, or the patient but stern scolding he’d gotten from his brother for worrying their mother.

In the end, Itachi had methodically removed the door from its hinges, picked Sasuke up, slung him kicking and screaming over his shoulder, and forced the younger boy to spend the day with him. Sasuke had complained the whole time, and for some time after at random intervals, but all three of them knew it was just for show. He had really enjoyed the return of Itachi’s attention, even if he thought thirteen was probably too old to get so upset over the lack of it; too old for his best (his only) friend to be his big brother.

Now, though, Sasuke was older and much wiser. No longer was he the hero-worshipping younger brother. No longer was he the praise-craving youngest son. He’d come to grips with the reality of his situation, and knew he would never be good enough for his father. He knew Itachi considered him a nuisance, and only spent time with him to annoy him, and to lord it over Sasuke how much better his life was and would be in the future. And because their mother asked him to. Nevertheless, he’d found and made himself some kind of niche within his family, and felt he was content for things to continue as they were indefinitely. Even if he had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t, now that he’d made some recent discoveries about himself.

That wasn’t to say, though, that he didn’t appreciate the absence of tension at the dinner table on nights like these, when it was just him and his mother. Oh, he did; immensely so. For, though his mother may not know his deepest secrets as Itachi did, the natural maternal love and acceptance he invariably felt from her always put him more at ease. His mother was never as judgmental as his father, nor as critical as Itachi could be.

So as his mother sat down across from him and began serving their food, Sasuke gave her a small smile and a, “Thank you, mother,” before turning his attention to his plate.

Mikoto smiled in return, happy for the rare expression from her son, and ate her meal as well.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*

In the morning, Naruto was awoken by a fully-dressed Haku shaking him awake, cautiously but incessantly. The older boy’s face was knit with concern as the blonde squinted blue eyes up at him, making them the smallest slits possible, not ready to be fully awake yet.

“What is it, Haku?” Naruto grumbled, attempting to roll over and cover his head with the blanket.

Haku was having none of that, however. He swiftly yanked the blanket off his friend’s head and out of his hands. “I don’t think so, Naruto. I already let you sleep way too long and if you don’t get up now, we’ll be late!”

He tried to keep his tone lighthearted, but he was starting to get frustrated with Naruto’s behavior the past few days. He was acting so unlike himself that it was becoming slightly disconcerting, and the older boy couldn’t wait for his friend to return to normal again.

Sighing, the blonde dragged himself out of bed, pulled some clean clothes out of his closet and dresser, and headed to the bathroom. When he returned he was fully dressed in a black T-shirt and blue jeans, his hair still damp from his shower. He grabbed his orange K.J.S.H.S. hoodie off the chair by his bed and pulled it on, then returned to his dresser to grab his Gama-chan watch and put it on. Next he went in search of clean socks, having taken a whiff of his pair from yesterday—which he’d been wearing three days straight now—and finding them slightly offensive even to him. While doing so, he caught a glimpse of Haku watching him off to the side. Feeling a bit paranoid at being watched so closely, even by his best friend, he turned to the black haired boy.

“What? Is there something on me?” As he asked this, he self-consciously wiped at his face to check for toothpaste, then began smoothing down his clothes, pulling the hem of his orange hoodie past the butt and zipper of his jeans twice. He wasn’t normally one to care much about the state of his clothes, but having his period made him self-conscious and paranoid. He always worried the pad would slip or he would bleed through and there would be evidence on his clothes.

Haku settled his current paranoia with a shake of his head, however, and Naruto tried to relax.

“You haven’t been yourself, lately. I’m worried.”

Naruto frowned, feeling nervous again. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been sleeping a lot more, and not wanting to get up when it’s time, when usually you can’t wait to get going. You’ve been grumpy. You bickered with Ino more than usual yesterday, and you even went into petulant-teen mode with Tsunade last night. It’s not like you!”

Naruto shrugged, turning back to his task of finding clean socks to hide his scowl from his friend’s reprimand. “If you had to bleed and cramp for a week out of nowhere, you’d be different, too. Besides, Ino started it.”

“Yeah, but… Naruto, you even chose a movie over skating today! I can’t remember the last time you chose an indoor activity over an outdoor one, especially when the weather’s so nice,” Haku indicated the bright blue, nearly cloudless, sunny sky outside the curtains he’d opened.

“I’m cramping and bleeding, Haku, you think I want to move around a bunch when my body’s turned against me like this?! I’d really just rather stay in bed until this thing is over, but kami knows that’d really make everyone suspicious! Not to mention Tsunade-baa-chan would never let me,” Naruto replied irritably.

“I’ve seen you take some of the nastiest falls, wind up bleeding and almost broken, and still get right back up on your board. How is this any different?”

“Because it is,” Naruto insisted, getting defensive. “You don’t understand what this is like, Haku, and there’s no way you can understand. Getting hurt skating is really different from this. I feel like I’m not even in my own body anymore, which is a big fuckin’ deal, considering I already don’t even belong in the body I have!” Naruto finished, breathing heavily, having gotten riled up.

Haku sighed and looked at Naruto apologetically. “Is it really that bad?”

Naruto nodded.

“Well, maybe if you did some things that are normal for you, you’ll feel more like yourself,” Haku suggested hopefully.

It was Naruto’s turn to sigh. He knew Haku was just trying to help, but he couldn’t help but feel irritated. Still, Haku was his best friend and ‘older brother’, so Naruto figured he should at least make an effort for his sake.

“Maybe,” Naruto relented, grabbing his skateboard from where it rested against the wall behind his door. He took his wallet off the top of his dresser and tucked it into his back pocket, then remembered he would need to bring his backpack with him so he’d have his pads. Once the orange bag was slung over his shoulders, Naruto hooked his fingers into his shoes to carry them, and headed for the kitchen. Haku followed him, briefly stopping in his room to grab his own board.

It was already well past noon, so Tsunade was at work, but Shizune was home, the weekend sports clubs having finished for the day already. She’d just gotten home not long ago, actually, and was changing her clothes when she heard Naruto and Haku in the kitchen.

“It’s awfully late. You guys are usually gone by now. Do you two have plans with your friends today?” she asked after coming into the kitchen.

“That’s where we’re heading now,” Naruto said, sitting down in a chair to tug on his high-tops.

“Oh, what’s on the agenda this weekend?” she asked with interest. Noticing their skateboards, she added, “If you’re skateboarding, make sure to wear your helmets and pads.”

“We’re going to see that new samurai movie, Ronin. You know, the one with Uryuu Ishida in it?” Haku answered.

Shizune’s eyes widened a bit in recognition. “Isn’t that the boy from that shinigami show you like to watch, Naruto-kun?”

“Yeah…” he answered distractedly, double-tying his laces to make sure they wouldn’t come undone, since he’d decided to take his board with him.

“He’s a very nice-looking boy. I’ve heard some of the girls at school comparing him to the younger Uchiha boy, and he seems very popular as well. Is he the main character in the movie?”

Haku answered this time. “Yeah, he is the main character. He does resemble Uchiha Sasuke, doesn’t he? I’m sure a certain blonde is especially excited to see his starring role debut,” Haku added with a sly grin and surreptitious glance at Naruto.

Shizune’s interest piqued at this, “Oh, Naruto-kun, you like him, too?”

“W-what?!” Naruto squawked, giving the conversation his full attention now. “I-I don’t like Sasuke! Haku, why would you say that?!”

Shizune’s eyebrows rose at the blonde’s outburst.

“I was talking about Ino,” Haku chuckled innocently at the same time Shizune replied.

“I meant the actor, but since you’ve brought up the subject…”

Naruto gulped and jumped out of his seat. “No time to talk, we’re gonna be late!” he exclaimed, grabbing his board again and dragging Haku with him towards the door.

“Wait, have you even eaten?!” Shizune protested, fully prepared to whip up a late lunch for her boys, as she noticed how eerily clean the kitchen was—evidence that, most likely, nothing had been eaten. At least not by Naruto.

“We’ll eat at the theater!” Naruto called back, just before shutting the door after himself and Haku.

Quickly, they ran out the building and towards the main entrance, boards in hand. The bus was just pulling away when they got there, but luckily the driver recognized them and stopped. Thanking him wholeheartedly, the two boys toted their boards with them to seats in the back, and rode the bus until it completed its route and stopped at the downtown terminal with all the other buses. Finding it pointless to transfer buses, only to waste time waiting for the bus to fill up and go on its route, Haku and Naruto took to their boards and skated like mad to the theater several blocks and a short bridge away.

As the theater came into view, Naruto could see the movie posters plastered to the building, advertising what films were ‘Now Playing’ or ‘Coming Soon’. There were a few different ones for Ronin, all of them featuring a striking pose or profile of Uryuu Ishida. It was also one of the biggest sized titles up on the marquee. Just seeing these things put a bit of anticipation into Naruto. He was really looking forward to the movie, despite the fact he knew Ino would be blabbering about Ishida for ages afterwards.

Honestly…

And speak of the devil, there she was; standing on the sidewalk near the entrance chatting with Hinata, while Shikamaru had taken up his customary watching-clouds-perched-on-the-curb stance, Chouji right beside him for moral and snacking support.

Finding themselves in the most unfortunate position of being later than Shikamaru again, Haku and Naruto both cringed as they saw Ino gearing up to give them another tongue-lashing.

Sighing, Shikamaru turned his gaze from the clouds to preemptively kill Ino’s scolding. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

Naruto frowned, looking at the long line leading up to the ticket booth and cringing. “Don’t we need to buy tickets first?”

Ino rolled her eyes and tsked impatiently, while Chouji smiled and shook his head knowingly, unable to answer verbally with his mouth full of the chips he’d just finished off. Hinata simply shook her head mutely.

“Tch, what a pain.” Shikamaru sighed again, finding his childhood friends to be of no help as Naruto and Haku were still looking at him quizzically. “We bought the tickets already.”

Naruto was surprised. “You did?”

Ino rolled her eyes again. “Of course we did. You really think we’re gonna wait in this line? I bought tickets online last night and printed them out at Shikamaru’s.”

“Oh, good idea,” said Naruto, looking back at the long line, grateful they could now avoid it.

“I know,” Ino replied conceitedly. She held her hand out, palm up, adding, “Now fork over your share.”

Once Ino was repaid for the tickets and the six friends made it inside the theater lobby, Ino asked Hinata to get her diet soda and butter-free popcorn for her while she ran to the ladies’ room. Naruto did the same, though the order he gave Haku was for nachos, popcorn, sour gummy worms, and orange soda. And the restroom he went into was the men’s.

Luckily his time of the month was slowing down now, so things weren’t too bloody, but the movie was long, and running and skating had twisted the pad up a bit, so he wanted to replace it to be safe. That left him with the dilemma of getting rid of it without getting caught. Going over his options and not really liking any of them, Naruto decided to just wait for the room to empty out, which would happen very soon since most of the movies were starting in a couple minutes.

When he thought he’d heard the last guy leave, Naruto leaned down cautiously—being careful not to knock over his board balancing against the stall wall, the tail end braced in the indent of the tile floor grout—and peeked under the door. Not seeing any feet, either under the other stalls, by the urinals, or by the sinks (which would be a rarity anyway), he deemed the coast clear.

Having already been waiting with his backpack on, Naruto picked up his board, glanced quickly out the door, and dashed to the trash near the sinks. He hurriedly buried the toilet paper-wrapped pad amongst discarded paper towels and jumped to the farthest sink to wash his hands; distancing himself from the evidence. Once he’d dried, he darted from the room and towards the theater door the movie was playing in, breathing a final sigh of relief as he survived the whole ordeal.

Haku was waiting for him, along with Hinata, who was helping to carry their food now that Ino was already seated and holding her own refreshments. The theater inside the doors was already dark and the previews were almost over. Naruto was glad he hadn’t missed the beginning of the actual movie, though he wished he’d seen the whole movie trailer that had just ended—ninjas were cool.

The two brunettes showed him where the others were sitting, and they settled in for the movie.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*

Ronin was great. It had something for everyone—an underlying story of forbidden romance with all the action and fighting the guys could want as well. It was put together so well, Naruto completely got into the story, instead of just anxiously waiting for the next swordfight to keep him entertained.

The story was about a samurai whose master is killed and he is suspected of the murder, but there’s no proof. He narrowly escapes death as retribution, and becomes a ronin—a wandering, masterless samurai—in search of the man that really killed his master. As he gets closer to the truth, he ends up in the brief service of a daimyo, and falls in love with the man’s daughter. Their love is forbidden, however—both because of their difference in class, and her betrothal to another man—but they go through with their affair anyway, and continue it even after the ronin’s service is through. Little do either of them know, however, that the daimyo was the one that had ordered the murder of the samurai’s master, and the daughter’s fiancé was the man he hired. The daughter was part of the price paid. It all ended in an intense, bloody battle in the middle of the ill-conceived wedding, and everyone got what was coming to them.

Yes, the movie was great, but Uryuu Ishida played no small part in keeping his attention, either. He’d known already, from watching Bleach, that the actor had a resemblance to a certain black haired boy he was crushing on; however, it had somehow escaped his attention how much the actor sounded like Sasuke, as well. Maybe because in Bleach, Ishida’s character, ‘Quincy’, wasn’t the main character, nor was he a particular favorite of Naruto’s (too much posturing about how much better he was than the main character, who so obviously was so much cooler and kicked so much more ass than him it wasn’t even funny). However, in this movie, Ishida was the star. At least two thirds of the scenes belonged to him, and a good chunk of them were scenes of him and the woman playing his love interest—Faye Valentine—an actress who was currently not well-known, but would surely gain a bit of stardom now from working opposite the ‘teen’ idol.

So, as the movie went on, not only did Naruto notice more and more how much Ishida sounded like Sasuke; he also noticed more and more how much he liked the sound of it. Sure, the fight scenes were awesome, and Ishida’s lines were delivered perfectly, but it was the love scenes which thoroughly sparked Naruto’s newfound interest in the actor. Naruto was not normally one to get all hot and bothered from love scenes in movies—especially not love scenes that were probably overly-dramatized, artfully edited, and full of the sap that drew the interest of girls. However, the more he heard that voice spouting the lines of a lover, he couldn’t control the thrill that shot through him every time. Nor, apparently, could he control his imagination as it suddenly began providing him images of himself and Sasuke in the roles of the samurai and his forbidden lover.

By the end of the movie, Naruto had become totally engrossed in the fantasy and was drooling slightly from his inattention to everything not involving the story on-screen—which currently starred himself and one Uchiha Sasuke. Luckily, as the final fight scene started, he realized the effect his imagination had had on him and wiped away the drool, shaking his head at himself slightly to clear his head and compose himself before his friends noticed. Returning his attention fully to the actual movie, Naruto watched the final scenes play out, and noticed something else.

As much as Ishida may look like Sasuke normally; as much as his character on Bleach had a tendency to remind Naruto of the Ice Prince, especially with his ‘I’m better than you’ attitude; as much as his voice sounded uncannily like The Bastard; in this movie—with his long hair, low ponytail, and impeccable swordsmanship—Uryuu Ishida resembled Itachi more than Sasuke. That thought immediately put an end to Naruto’s movie fantasy. Sure, the older Uchiha was pretty hot, too (though not as hot as Sasuke, in Naruto’s opinion), but he gave Naruto the chills—and not in the good way. Just, something about him creeped the blonde out, and he really had no interest in finding out what it was, either.

Thinking of Itachi, though, suddenly reminded Naruto of the day before, when Itachi had asked to speak with Haku as they were leaving school. Naruto had been so distracted with feeling miserable at the time; he hadn’t even thought to wonder what they’d talked about or anything. Now, though, his curiosity was catching up to him.

All through the Bleach movie portion of the double feature, Naruto kept finding his thoughts wandering away from the film, wondering what on earth his ‘older brother’ could have to talk to Sasuke’s older brother about.

When Bleach ended and they finally left the theater (after pit stops to the restroom for everyone), it was already getting dark. Dinnertime was fast approaching, along with Hinata’s curfew, so the six friends walked together (Naruto and Haku occasionally dropping their board to glide leisurely along on the sidewalk) towards the bus terminal at the outside edge of downtown, where they could all catch their respective buses.

As they walked, Ino’s predictable gushing about ‘Ishida-sama’ started up immediately, earning a groan from three of the boys and a shy, amused smile from Hinata. Haku also opted for quiet amusement. Naruto was slightly disturbed by the realization that he’d been thinking similar thoughts to Ino’s earlier, before his ‘he looks more like Itachi’ epiphany, and was glad his shameful fanboy moment had only happened in the privacy of his own imagination.

Just as he was thinking how he’d dodged that bullet, Ino turned to him.

“Don’t you, Naruto?”

“Err… huh?” he replied intelligently.

“Don’t you think Ishida-sama is hot as a samurai?”

“Technically he was a ronin, hence the movie title,” Shikamaru corrected mutteringly.

“Whatever, whatever,” Ino waved off the correction, not really caring about the difference. She looked at Naruto expectantly.

“Err… why are you asking me?” he wondered aloud.

Ino rolled her eyes. “Duh, because you like boys, lame brain.”

“So does Haku, why don’t you ask him?” Naruto asked, stalling. He really didn’t want to discuss his opinion of the raven haired actor.

Ino huffed, “I already did, and now I’m asking you!”

“But I like girls, too! Why don’t you ever ask me what I think of the girls in movies?”

“Because I don’t care what girls you think are cute, baka!”

The group groaned as yet another pointless argument started up between the two blondes.

Ignoring the groan, Ino continued, “I mean, honestly, what’s the point of being friends with boys who like boys if you can’t gossip with them about boys?! So stop stalling and just admit you think Ishida-sama is hot as a samurai!”

Screwing up his face in defiance, Naruto answered, “Actually, I thought he was kinda creepy.”

The group braced themselves for the coming explosion, and the effort was not in vain.

“What?!” the blonde girl exclaimed in shock. “How can you think Ishida-sama is creepy? Nothing about him is creepy! He’s hot! That’s like saying Sasuke-kun is creepy, and I know you didn’t just infer such a thing!!”

“Oh, no, Sasuke’s not creepy at all,” Naruto said truthfully. This appeased her until he added, “He’s just a bastard.”

Ino growled warningly, her eyes narrowing.

“But with that long hair and stuff, Ishida looks like Itachi more than Sasuke, and that guy’s creepy.”

Ino paused her threatening stance to think aloud, “Itachi-senpai? I guess I can kind of see that… Kyaa! That’s even better!!” And that easily, she seemed to forget the whole discussion, or that Naruto was still insisting the older Uchiha was creepy (and hadn’t really denied the fact that Sasuke was hot), as she continued to squeal about the hot guys who were also brothers and happened to resemble a famous actor that she now proclaimed her undying fanship to.

Unbothered by the girl’s predictable antics, Haku commented, “Well, despite the fact that Ishida-san isn’t my type, I thought the movie was really good.”

“Yeah, it was,” Shikamaru agreed. “Despite some historical inaccuracies.”

“Faye Valentine was great. I hope she gets another starring role in a movie soon,” Chouji said, blushing the tiniest bit.

“S-she was really p-pretty in… period dress,” Hinata said softly, also blushing a little.

“It was really surprising at the end, wasn’t it?” Naruto piped in, getting excited about the conversation again now that it had moved away from topics closely resembling the Uchiha. “I guess those katana lessons were more than just foreplay,” he said mischievously.

“Of course,” Haku confirmed. “It was obvious that would come in handy later.”

“Well, yeah, but I never expected her to get in on the fighting during her own wedding. In her uchikake and everything!”

“Well, why should she be expected to stand idly by or go and hide while everyone’s fighting around her? Especially when the guy she’s being forced to marry is trying to kill the one she loves?! If it were me, I’d be kicking some ass, too!” Ino exclaimed righteously.

Instead of arguing, as everyone—including Ino—expected, Naruto simply nodded enthusiastically and continued. “And when her asshole fiancé grabbed her after she dropped the katana, and threatened to kill her to save his own life—”

“Oh my God, I know! That coward,” Ino cut in. “And then she pulled her kaiken out of her obi and stabbed him in the arm! Priceless!”

The conversation carried on in this vein for a few more minutes. Naruto even jumped off his skateboard, forcing Haku to stop as well as the blond suddenly decided to reenact the final scene, using his skateboard as a katana. Haku blocked with the underside of his board, but Naruto was not deterred. He attacked again, and Haku blocked again. Then, as Naruto went around for a jab from the back, Haku whirled around, knocking the board from the blonde’s hands, and held the tip of his skateboard to Naruto’s throat. Making a swift and deliberate slicing motion, Haku feigned slitting Naruto’s throat, his long hair fanning out behind him dramatically as he did so. The blonde put all his acting skills to work, dying à la the movie villain, amidst amused chuckles from his friends and a few passersby.

When he deemed the scene done and got up again, they noticed they’d finally reached the bus terminal. The buses were about to leave, so the six friends quickly said goodbye and split up to their three respective buses.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*

It wasn’t until much later, after dinner and after Tsunade and Shizune retired to their room for the night, that Naruto remembered again about the conversation between Itachi and Haku.

“Hey, Haku,” he called as he punched combo after combo into his video game controller.

“Yeah?” came the reply from the other boy, who was quietly doing homework on the opposite side of the coffee table Naruto was leaning against.

“What did Itachi want with you yesterday?”

It was quiet for longer than a sufficient interval, so Naruto paused his game to look at the boy behind him questioningly. “Haku?”

The brunette was diligently working on a history paper, or so it seemed, so Naruto called his name again. Finally, Haku looked up from his paper at Naruto.

“Hmm? Oh, Uchiha-senpai?”

Naruto nodded fervently.

“It was nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Hakuuu~ don’t be like that! Come on, tell me!”

Haku shook his head, looking at Naruto with a mixture of apology and apprehension. It was never easy to deny the blonde, especially when he was determined to get his way, as it looked like he was now.

“I really can’t talk about it, Naruto.”

Unfortunately, this answer only served to further spark Naruto’s interest, his eyes widening, then narrowing as he decided on his next course of action. Luckily, Naruto’s skills in being conniving were still quite rough around the edges, so the best he came up with was simply starting a chant of, “Telllll meeeeeee.”

His determination and stubbornness, however, more than made up for his lack of finesse, and Haku soon found himself crumbling under the onslaught of annoying, partially-whining repetition.

“Okay, okay, okay,” the brunette relented, raising his hands in defeat. “Jeez! He only wanted to talk to me about Sasuke!”

Naruto’s eyebrows rose, “Sasuke? Why would he talk to you about Sasuke?”

Haku shrugged. “Apparently, he was under the very mistaken impression that Sasuke and I were making out during lunch.”

Naruto was dumbstruck. “You… and… and… Sasuke…?!” He started trembling and dropped his head down as his shoulders started shaking.

Haku watched him warily with growing concern. Just as he was about to reach out to his friend, Naruto’s head whipped back as he let out a loud guffaw.

“Bwahaha! You! Haha! And Sasuke! Heehee! Oh! Oh, that’s funny!!”

His face was red from trying to suppress his laughter and tears were running down his face—proof of how hard he was laughing. Haku smiled as Naruto continued to gasp out incredulous exclamations with his laughter, and soon the older boy was laughing as well, bracing himself on the table as his upper body sprawled across his homework with the force of it.

Several minutes later, they finally settled down from their sudden bout of the giggles, and lay on the floor together in front of the coffee table. The crowns of their heads were touching, with their bodies each sprawled in opposite directions from the other.

Naruto rolled his head back, trying to look at Haku. “So—” he cut himself off as a final giggle burst from him. taking a deep breath to keep it under control, Naruto continued. “So, what did you tell him?”

“I told him ‘no’, of course,” Haku answered. “Honestly, the Chibi-Uchiha and I don’t even know each other. Not to mention he’s not my type. Now, if it was Kaguya-senpai…” he trailed off suggestively, laughing a little at Naruto’s wide-eyed expression.

All too soon, though, the mood grew solemn, and Haku suddenly realized his slip-up. Of course, even if Naruto denied his feelings aloud, it didn’t change the fact that he liked the younger Uchiha. Any mention of the guy currently on the receiving end of the raven’s attentions was sure to be a sore spot for Naruto.

“Hey, Haku?” the blonde said softly, averting his eyes from the deep brown ones turned to him. “D’you think the teme’s going out with Kaguya-senpai?”

Haku shrugged, sitting up from the floor and turning to look fully at his blonde ‘little brother’. “Who knows? All I know is, you better not ask him. In fact, don’t say anything to anybody about it.”

“Why?”

“Sasuke doesn’t want anybody to know about it. He doesn’t even know you know.”

Naruto frowned.

“Really,” Haku continued musingly. “I think you and Sasuke are more alike than you may think.”

Naruto’s frown deepened with this comment. Before he could get Haku to explain, however, Tsunade came out and told them to go to bed already. It was after midnight.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*

Sasuke was settled into the couch in his living room, a book in one hand as he absently stroked his Burmese cat, Hina, with the other.

He’d woken up late, well into the afternoon, as was usual for him on the weekend. After a snack of onigiri and iced green tea, he’d started in on his homework and worked on it straight through until dinner, which was eaten in the kitchen with only his mother again. His homework was finished sometime after dinner and, since Kimimaro worked long shifts at his gas station job on the weekends, Sasuke didn’t have much else to occupy his time other than a nice, thick book.

He’d changed into his black lounge pants and a grey T-shirt, and started reading sometime after sunset. He had been reading ever since. He didn’t even know what time it was, and didn’t really care. He did notice that his eyes were getting a little tired, though, but still continued to read. He wanted to finish the chapter.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Sasuke started sneezing again. They were so violent, it scared Hina away, knocking the book from Sasuke’s hand as the cat jumped from his lap. The book landed on the floor with a loud thud just as someone else walked into the room, turning their head to watch the cat run past them.

“Really, Sasuke, there must be a more polite way to tell Hina you’re done petting him,” Itachi chastised teasingly.

“Shut up, Itachi,” Sasuke sniffed as he picked up his book, hoping that was the last sneeze for awhile. It wasn’t even a question anymore of if there would be more—the past couple days had taught him there surely would be more eventually.

Itachi merely smirked wryly, plopping down on the other end of the sofa, swinging his legs up to stretch them out between them and nudging Sasuke repeatedly with his bare toes.

“And what, may I ask, is my dear otouto doing up at such an hour?” Itachi asked, running a hand through his loose hair languidly as he leaned back against the sofa arm.

Shoving his brother’s feet away in irritation and disgust, Sasuke pulled his knees up to his chest and huddled in his little corner of the sofa, opening his book atop his knees and making a point of hiding his face in it as he muttered lowly, “I don’t know what time it is, but I think it’s pretty obvious what I’m doing.”

Itachi’s brow rose at the attitude in the answer. Not to be deterred, though, he ‘tsked’ at his younger brother, grabbed the book cleanly from the younger boy’s hands, closed it and dropped it on the coffee table, then scooped Sasuke up over his shoulder and carried him out of the room. No amount of kicking, cursing, or struggling would make Itachi let go, so Sasuke gave up about halfway up the stairs to his room, simply hanging limply and glaring at the floor.

“It’s after midnight, Sasuke-chan. Little boys should be in bed.” Itachi intoned, right before he flipped Sasuke off his shoulder onto his bed.

The younger teen landed heavily on the soft bedding with a whump, and lay there glaring up at his older brother through his messy bangs. “It’s Saturday.”

“That it is,” the older boy agreed with a half-nod.

“It doesn’t matter how late I stay up. Since when do you care, anyway?”

Itachi put a hand to his chest, affecting an offended tone, “I always care about my dear otouto. If you don’t get enough sleep, you’ll get sick. In fact, that’s probably why you’ve been sneezing.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, then rolled over onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow. “Whatever,” he mumbled into the soft, dark blue material. Turning his face back out so he could breathe easier, Sasuke added, “You’re up late, too.”

“Ahh,” Itachi sighed as he sat on the floor, leaning his back against his brother’s bed. “Yeah,” he replied simply, stretching his arms out to either side across the length of the bed.

“You haven’t been home since yesterday. You’re lucky father hasn’t either.” Sasuke refused to admit to himself that he was pouting like a spoiled child.

“Actually, I came home about this time last night, as well,” Itachi corrected. “I even ate breakfast with mother, but you were still asleep. We know how you are when your sleep is interrupted, so we decided not to wake you. You were still asleep when I left. You are right about father not coming home yet, though.”

“Hn.”

Familiar and comfortable silence stretched out between them for several minutes, and Itachi thought Sasuke might have fallen asleep. Just as he was leaning forward to stand up and go to his own room, Sasuke mumbled sleepily.

“Goodnight, Itachi.”

Itachi turned the light off as his younger brother pulled his comforter over himself, and the older boy gave a warm, almost-smile into the darkness.

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Sunday for Naruto was spent lamenting his procrastination Saturday night, as he spent a good chunk of the day working on the homework he’d neglected for video games the night before. Haku’s version of this portion of the day was divided between chuckling in amusement at Naruto’s grumbling frustration, attempting to help the younger boy to speed the process along, and slowly growing impatient, as he was waiting for Naruto so they could go skate together. He was tempted to take his board outside while he was waiting for the blonde, but skating was banned on the apartments’ property, and both his parental figures were home to prevent him from bending the rules.

Finally, a couple hours after lunch, Naruto was given the okay to take a break, with the understanding that he would be home for dinner and finish the last of it afterwards.

Naruto was excited to get out of the house—not only to get away from his abundance of homework, but he really needed some exercise to make up for all the junk he’d had at the movie yesterday. He’d missed the opportunity to purge, since he’d been so engrossed in the movie, and hadn’t really wanted to throw up nachos, popcorn, and gummies, anyway. So today he would get in as much intense skating as his body would allow, under his current circumstances.

He and Haku left the apartment grounds quickly, wanting to get on their boards as soon as possible. They left the back way, taking a sidewalk trail that went through the apartment complex’s playground and into the woods behind. Not far into the woods, the sidewalk disappeared, having gotten more and more worn into the path along the way. They continued on the same path, though, and soon found themselves out of the woods again and in the parking lot behind the hospital.

They skated through the parking lot, heading towards the river embankment back there. Then they part-ran, part-slid down the grassy embankment until they got to flat, solid ground once more—the wide strip of shore between the embankment and the river. Walking along this strip a ways brought them to a large, concrete area under a bridge, which had been outfitted with an old, wood-and-metal picnic table and a couple home-made ramps.

They spent the whole afternoon there, skating around and working on tricks, until the sun started to set. Then they backtracked their way home, making it just in time to wash up for dinner.

That night, Naruto noticed the ache in his muscles, and realized just how inactive he’d been lately because of his period. Extremely irritated by the knowledge, he silently vowed to find a way to avoid such slothfulness in the future. His body would not control him; he would control it.

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Sasuke’s Sunday was spent in a similar fashion as his Saturday, with the exceptions of Itachi still being there when he woke up to eat lunch. Also, since his homework had been finished the day before, he had plenty of time to finish the book he’d been forced to abandon the previous night. He ended up having enough time to not only finish that one, but start another and get a good chunk of the way through it before dinner.

His father came home for dinner, so the meal was filled with the usual family tension, despite the fact that it was eaten in silence and Sasuke was not required to vouch for himself and his weekend activities. In fact, his father was so distracted by his current case, he barely noticed Itachi was missing from the table, let alone that Sasuke was there. Of course, once he realized his oldest son—prodigy; legacy—was gone, and with whom, the tension in the nearly-silent room quickly grew ten-fold.

At that point, Sasuke was more than happy to excuse himself to ‘finish his homework’. He spent the rest of the night in his room, playing with his cats and drawing random sketches of them until he decided to get ready for bed. He brought his book from earlier into bed with him, and settled in to read until he was tired.

When he heard his brother come home some time later, the urge to listen in on his father lecturing Itachi was so great, Sasuke didn’t even realize he was sneaking out of his room until he was pressed against the wall at the top of the stairs and suddenly found himself fighting the onslaught of a sneeze attack.

He lost, of course.

To try to cover for his eavesdropping, he tried to nonchalantly come around the corner, pretending he had no idea what they were talking about and simply wanted a drink of milk. Whether Fugaku believed the act or not was hard to tell, since Sasuke figured he would be irritated at being interrupted either way, but he could tell Itachi didn’t buy it. The older boy didn’t look upset by the disruption, though. Sasuke didn’t blame him, either.

Though he’d known since dinner that the lecture was inevitable, he was quite sure coming home from being out with your boyfriend only to be immediately lectured about said boyfriend was so much less than pleasant.

He resisted the urge to cringe as he headed for the kitchen and heard his father order Itachi into his study to continue their discussion.

His mother was standing at the island in the kitchen, holding an untouched cup of tea with worry etched across her face. Sasuke felt the urge to ask what was wrong, but curbed it. He already knew, anyway. Instead, he got his glass of milk, drank it, rinsed the glass, and put it in the dishwasher. Just as he was deeming his fake mission a success and turned to leave, his body betrayed him once again. Sneezing several times in a row, seemingly from nowhere, immediately turned his mother’s worry to him.

“Sweetheart, are you alright? You’ve been sneezing a lot lately!”

Curses ran silently through Sasuke’s mind. He didn’t know his mother had witnessed his sneezing this weekend. “I’m fine, mother,” he insisted, even as another sneeze snuck up on him.

Mikoto frowned at her son. “You don’t sound ‘fine’. I think you should see the doctor.”

“What?! No, really, mother, I’m fine!”

“Did I just hear you tell your mother ‘no’?” A masculine voice suddenly asked from behind him.

A chill flashed through Sasuke so fast at that voice, he froze and couldn’t even answer. Not even a nod. He was sure he was about to feel the extent of his father’s wrath. You did not disrespect your parents in this house and get away with it.

Luckily, his mother saved him. Relatively speaking.

“He doesn’t want to go to the doctor,” she said.

“The doctor? Why? He seems perfectly healthy to me,” Fugaku replied, to Sasuke’s relief.

Sasuke nodded emphatically, then cursed under his breath as he sneezed again. Mikoto watched him with concern.

“You call that perfectly healthy? He’s been sneezing all weekend. I’m just going to take him for a checkup. If he’s really fine, he has nothing to worry about,” she pointed out matter-of-factly.

“Hrrmmn,” Fugaku grumbled in thought. “I guess you’re right, dear,” he finally agreed. Clapping a large hand over his younger son’s shoulder heavily, he added, “Best get to bed, boy. You need your rest.”

Sasuke left the room quickly to do just that, brushing his teeth first before settling under his covers.

So shocked was he that he was actually being sent to the doctor for sneezing (sneezing which he was nearly positive was only a sign of extreme gossip and impending doom, and had no actual physical reason), the knowledge that his parents most likely had something much worse planned for his very near future completely slipped his mind.

It wouldn’t be long before he was reminded, though.

TBC

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A/N2: *Whew!* Finally, chapter four is done! Damn, I really wanted to get more actual plot furthering done in this one, but the details in each scene just kept coming out instead of letting me move on. I didn’t even mean for Naruto and Ino to fight so much, but every time they were in a scene together they bumped heads like WHOA! Oh well, I think I’m still pleased with this one. I should be able to get to the point I intended for this chapter in the next one, though. When that will be is yet to be determined, however. And on that note…

Again, I am soooo sorry for how long it took to get this chapter out to you guys. There was a large and sudden upheaval in my real life that prevented me working on this at all, largely involving me having to break the lease I’d kept for three years and move clear across the country. Now, even though things are a little more stable than they were a couple months ago, my already-small amount of time available to work on my writing has greatly decreased. I’m still working on it, haven’t even come close to losing interest or inspiration, just need to find time to work on it more! So please be patient with me and stick around for the story!!

Also, in case you missed the A/N at the beginning of the chapter, I’d just like to point out a thing or two about this fic. It was suggested to me that I clarify Naruto’s male role in this fic, as the bio-female aspect may deter some people. Let me say right now: I do NOT intend to over-ukefy Naruto in this story. His body may be female, but his mind and spirit are 100% male. I do not like or endorse concrete seme/uke roles in general—it’s unrealistic for the most part, anyway. Therefore, Sasuke and Naruto will “share” the roles of uke and seme in this story. I’ve changed the summary from “SasuNaruSasu” to “NaruSasuNaru” in further attempt to reflect my intentions (though really the order shouldn’t make any difference in this case since they’ll share equally).

I will do my best to be true to the characters, allowing for slight differences due to the AU setting and background, of course. I started this story because I wanted to address some things that I felt were lacking in Fem!Naruto fics (or Fem!Anyone, really), so I will do my best to do the subject justice.

Thanks for reading. All reviews are greatly appreciated. Concrit is welcome, also. Flames are hilariously pointless.

Now for some review replies:

sasukeskyuubi: Thanks again for all your help with this fic, especially this chapter. You know, don’t you, how much your supply of instant gratification to me keeps me going when my slow-going progress of writing starts to get depressing. As for last chapter’s review, I’m glad you loved all those parts you mentioned, and I thoroughly enjoy the Sasuke’s pussy pun. :p I was hoping it was suggestive enough for that. You and Jpop both mentioned it lol.

As for Oto seeming like New Haven, well I had that whole Lincoln Highway, Broadway, downtown area in mind when I was thinking about it, actually. I think NH is in a bit better condition than I portray Oto, really, but my perception of that whole FtW/NH area in recent months largely affected the portrayal of Oto and Konoha in here. I’m sure you probably understand why… Glad you loved the description, though! And as far as how bright people are at K.J.S.H.S… well, things are not always what they seem. :p I won’t say more than that yet.

ResurgereTento: Thanks for the review! I’m glad you gave the fic a chance, even if you were skeptical, and that you’re pleased with the direction so far. I can only hope I do this subject enough justice that someone of the actual gender would approve. Well, hope and do my best to make it so! Also, thanks for your suggestion about clarifying Naruto’s role. I added a note to this chapter, and the first chapter. Hopefully it will help. Hope you continue to read!

Chelzi: Thanks for reviewing again! I’m glad you approve of their guardians. ^_~ I love Tsunade/Shizune but it’s not often done, especially in this capacity. Sorry the Oto descrip was slow, but at least it's out of the way now, ne? Hope you continue to enjoy the story!

Rasengan22: Hey, Rasy! No worries, I know how it is with the downtime. I’m way behind on reviewing yours, too. …waaaaaaay behind… and it has nothing to do with downtime and everything to do with lack of free time… But anyway! I’m glad you came back for it!

Yes, the story does have a lot of heavy issues in it. There’s a lot I want to address, and hope to make it as realistic as possible while still molding it to my intended outcome. Hopefully I can keep a good balance between the other aspects so it doesn’t get too bogged down in angst, though. I do have a fondness for the angst, you know…

I’m glad you mentioned the parallel between Sasuke’s denial of his own sexuality, and his obliviousness to Haku’s. Yes, Sasuke is quite out of the loop, and much of his ignorance is his own fault. As seen in this chapter, though, sometimes there are outside influences. He’s not completely oblivious about everything, though. He just has a bit of tunnel vision, and anything that doesn’t seem to directly concern him generally gets only a surface glance.

Glad you like slow development, cuz this story definitely has that. XD I can’t wait to get Naruto and Sasuke together! I can’t wait for Sakura to show up, too! And even that is a few chapters away! *sigh* I’m excited about the road ahead, though. Hope you still are!


Well, that’s all for now. And for an ending note, here are spawn2 and spawn3 (AKA, my two youngest brothers, ages 12 and 8 respectively)

Spawn3: This game is gay. *watches S2 play comp game, mostly just trying to get him to relinquish comp*

Spawn2: *playing game on albinoblacksheep* Yeah, but, according to Sissy, there’s nothing wrong with that. *continues playing game*

Sissy (AKA: me): *simply nods, thinking about the logistics of explaining the difference between gay=lame and gay=homosexual to two preteens…*

Happy New Year! See you in 2008!!

♥

~ lg