Fishstick

Kakashi read and signed the paperwork that was actually important and sent it off with Izumo while Kotetsu went to fetch Iruka and Tenzou. Then, very deliberately, he picked up the remaining paperwork, shuffled it around a bit, and dropped it in a disorganized mess of a pile on his in-box. A few papers slid to the floor, so he stepped on them. As a final touch, he set a cup of cold tea on top as a paper weight.

Now it would truly look as though he hadn't done anything for the entire time his pet chunin had been off flirting with his pet ANBU. Even if Iruka was officially a jounin now, and Tenzou was technically a jounin sensei now, it was still basically the same thing. And, he couldn't have Iruka thinking he wasn't 'appreciated'.

He was playing with Obito when the two finally arrived. The way Iruka's jaw dropped at the sight assured him the chunin wouldn't be abandoning him at every excuse. And, the twitch... ah, that was just an added bonus. After all, who was he supposed to use as entertainment if Iruka and Tenzou were nowhere to be found? Kurenai knew him too well and didn't fall for the lazy act anymore. But, those two had never really caught on.

"You!" Iruka screamed as he walked over to the stack and very carefully picked the cup up. "Haven't done a damn thing in three days, have you?"

Inwardly, Kakashi grinned; there was the twitch again! But, all Iruka saw was the lazy bored glance he presented. "Oh well, I figured if there was anything important you'd have told me."

"You're the genius. Can't you figure it out for yourself for a change?" Iruka rubbed his scar, and Kakashi's inner brat did a dance of pure evil joy.

"But, that's why I have /you/." He felt his lips twitch and was grateful he had his mask up.

"He's just trying to get under your skin, Iruka. If he can't do his own work without you standing over him, let him hear it from the council for a change," Tenzou said calmly.

'Hey! Bad pet ANBU!' Kakashi wanted to pout, or at least throw something at the man who was attempting to ruin his fun. Then, it occurred to him that Tenzou hadn't attached a formality to Iruka's name, and he was suddenly highly amused again. "You don't understand Tenzou. I have so much work to do, it's overwhelming, and Iruka is the only one who can keep it all sorted out."

Iruka rubbed at the tea stain left by the cup and frowned, already beginning to sort the mess of papers, and completely ignoring Tenzou's remark. "How did you get these all out of order and... Oh god, what is that?" The man's nose crinkled up in the funniest way. "Is that baby food?"

"Well, you see, I was trying to go through them, and then Obito started crying. So, I tried to feed him while I was reading those, and he hit the spoon." Kakashi left out the part where the reason Obito hit the spoon was because he'd been trying to teach his son to hit moving objects. He also decided it really wasn't that important that he'd very deliberately laid out the papers in hopes something like that would happen. The reading thing had more been out of boredom than anything.

Tenzou frowned at him while Iruka just sighed, and Kakashi... Kakashi secretly grinned. Being Hokage was down right boring! The crystal ball thing was entertaining in a hands off kind of way but this... this was almost as good as messing with his genin brats' heads had been so many years ago.

"I'm going to go get a new copy of these. I'll be right back." Iruka shook his head distractedly and headed for the door.

"But, I wanted to tell you something...." He let the whine slip into his voice.

"I'm sure it's not /that/ important. However, if I don't go track down Keiko before 2 o'clock, I won't be able to get a new copy of the finances until after she gets back from her trip to Stone. And, this is supposed to be on Chiro's desk by tomorrow." Iruka frowned before turning back and slipping through the door.

"You're an ass." Tenzou glared at him.

"You're hogging my pet chunin." The whining tone was still there.

"He's not a chunin anymore. You promoted him, remember?" The spiky-haired brunette said, taking a seat across from him.

"He's still my pet chunin." Kakashi set Obito on the floor and pulled out his book.

"Iruka's your 'assistant' not your pet." He could feel Tenzou's glare but didn't look up.

"About that... he became 'Iruka' rather quickly. Is there something you're not telling me?" He caught the briefest look of surprise before the man's ANBU training kicked in.

"I've known him for over ten years." Obito tugged on Tenzou's pant leg, and the man scooped him up. "That's not quick."

"Yeah, but until about three days ago, he was still Iruka-sensei..." Kakashi raised an eyebrow but didn't otherwise look up.

"He's an easy man to like. Unlike /some/ people, he doesn't patronize me," he said, taking off his headgear and handing it to baby to play with.

"Do you have a crush on my nanny?" Kakashi teased, torn between laughing and going 'awe' now that his suspicions were confirmed.

"He's /not/ your nanny." The slightest irritation could be heard in the ANBU's voice.

"Yes, he is. He even changes diapers." Kakashi smirked, this was proving to be more entertaining than he'd hoped.

"Yeah, yours." The Rokudaime stuck his tongue out under his mask at the jibe.

"He'd make such a cute wife." Yes, this was definitely turning out to be more fun than he could have imagined.

"I'm going to tell him you said that," Tenzou said, looping the head piece over Obito's head. The infant promptly started chewing on it.

"Do and I'll tell him that you like him." The smirk was quickly becoming a grin.

"I never said that." Tenzou shook his head but didn't refute the statement completely.

"I'm assuming I'm right, since I usually am," Kakashi said, grinning and turning the page.

"I'd tell you what happens when you do that, but you're already an ass." Both men laughed at the remark, and Kakashi plotted how best to use his now confirmed information.

--------

Iruka groaned as he reached over and grabbed the noisy bastard of an alarm clock and threw it across the room. His head felt like he'd been kicked by Gai, and he did actually know how that felt. After a few seconds, he realized there had been no crashing sound of the alarm clock hitting the far wall and cracked an eye open, wincing at the pain the light caused.

"You really shouldn't throw things at your superiors," Kakashi said from where he was leaning against the aforementioned wall.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He wasn't in the mood to deal with the man, and the fact he /knew/ the silver-haired nin was smirking under his damned mask didn't help improve his mood.

Kakashi shrugged. "I just didn't leave last night after I dragged your ass home."

"Fuck. Tell me I didn't come onto /you/?" He closed his eyes, his head hurt and not being able to focus was making him dizzy.

"So cruel, Iruka-kun. And, after I even made you breakfast..." There was a definite whine to the tone, despite the fact that he knew the copy-nin wasn't offended. He ignored Kakashi's teasing. They both knew the statement had more to do with Iruka not wanting to make an ass of himself than finding Kakashi unattractive. Besides, Kurenai was rather possessive, and he really didn't want to be on her bad side.

That thought made him wonder even more why his friend was here. "Isn't Kurenai going to be irritated that you stayed out all night? After all, it was your anniversary party."

"She suggested it. Told me to make your eggs extra runny, too," the Rokudaime said, smirking.

"Your wife has an evil sense of humor." He buried his head under the pillow.

"She took Tenzou home and left the kids with Anko." There was something to the tone, but Iruka's head hurt too much to figure out what was unusual about it.

"I can't believe you leave them with her," he muttered.

"She's surprisingly good with them." He could hear Kakashi walking around and was half tempted to peek out from under the safety of his pillow to find out why. "You know, you don't need Tenzou to be drunk to get his attention."

'Ah, that's what the tone was, annoyance.' Iruka groaned. "What? Don't want me fucking 'your kohai'." He knew it was irrational, but his head hurt, and the fact Kakashi, of all people, was scolding him was grating his already fried nerves. So what if he'd bought the man a few drinks. Why was it any of Kakashi's business?

"Ma, more like I didn't want you fucking it up with 'my kohai.' And, you know, Iruka, you're an ass when you're hung over." A moment later, the pillow was yanked away, and he winced as light hit the back of his eyelids. The bastard had turned the lights on, so even with them closed, it hurt.

"Fuck you, Kakashi." Although, he wasn't sure if he was more irritated by the man's remarks, or the fact Kakashi had stolen his pillow and was refusing to let him sleep out his hangover.

"As tempting as that sounds, somehow I don't think you mean it." The amusement was back, and Iruka snatched the kunai he kept on his headboard and flung it towards the copy-nin; who, of course, easily dodged it.

"Meanie." Kakashi said a moment before he yanked the blankets away and smack Iruka's bare ass, who yelped and sat up.

"Where the hell are my clothes!" The man had no sense of decency.

"You took them off. This was probably a good idea, since you threw up all over them. Twice." Kakashi said, snickering. "Now, get that cute little ass of yours out of bed and go take a shower. Or, I swear, I'll invite Tenzou over for breakfast." Kakashi laughed as Iruka wrapped the sheet around himself and sulked off towards the bathroom.

"Oh, and by the way, I'd avoid Ibiki and Raidou for the next few days. Declaring your undying love to Genma and Anko is not the best way to remain on their good sides. Kotetsu, however, found it highly amusing. He was very disappointed that I dragged you home, instead of letting him and Izumo have their way with you." Kakashi called after him.

Iruka slammed the back of his head against the door, and then promptly regretted it. "Fuck." He'd have to think of a way to apologize for being such a prick, and Tenzou probably thought he was a total dick after last night. 'Well,' he decided, 'there's always the chance he won't remember either.' Of course, with Iruka's luck, he'd remember every single detail. There were reasons Iruka didn't drink, he really should know better by now.