Almost Sucks

Almost Sucks
by Mashiro

Naruto fandom, series, no spoilers
AU, BOYS LOVE: Naruto x Sasuke, Kakashi x Iruka, Lee x Gaara

first version: February 8th 2006, Wednesday
second version: June 27th 2008, Friday

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Almost Sucks takes place in an unnamed and fictive smaller town, a few hours by bus from an unnamed and fictive big city. Swedish traditions have been the strongest influence on me, but there are traces of other places as well.

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DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the rights to the Naruto series or characters and I make no money writing this. I’m just a fan. This is fan fiction.

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05: Cellophane-wrapped disaster

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Naruto had planned to be good. He had planned to follow Iruka’s advice and give Sasuke some time to get settled in before making friends with him. When it was time for the friend making, Naruto wouldn’t be pushy; it would be normal, natural friend making. He’d known about the bad stuff, Sasuke’s rudeness and the horde of girls most likely after him and he had told himself it didn’t matter. Naruto was going to be to be cool: confidence and patience incarnate. Before he knew it Sasuke would be swept off his feet. But reality had redesigned that plan about as much as it had redesigned Naruto’s plan for true love.

Naruto wasn’t sure how to explain it, he just found himself acting. Even before he did and said the things he did and said, he knew that they were crazily idiotic and the opposite of what he had planned, but he couldn’t stop himself. He tried to straighten out his messed up plan when Sasuke wasn’t around, tried to tell himself that what he was doing was not the way to go; you did not annoy your future bride into marrying you, that was just silly. ‘Be cool,’ he told himself. ‘Just leave him alone for one second.’ But the plan always unstraightened itself again as soon as Sasuke came back into visual range.

At first it was mostly the girls. The way they looked at Sasuke, like he was the most delicious looking thing in the world or their prince from a fairy tale, made Naruto itch. He wanted to yell at them to back off, stop staring at Sasuke, stop drooling over him, stop whispering/giggling/talking about him. He couldn’t do that, of course, but he couldn’t do nothing either.

Except for that first growled ‘stay away from me’ before the bus, on Monday and Tuesday Sasuke ignored Naruto. At first it had seemed like a step in the right direction. Naruto could sit beside him on the bus and talk to him between classes without being cursed at, called stupid or getting threatened with violence. But Naruto soon changed his mind. Sasuke didn’t say anything back, didn’t even look at Naruto most of the time and he had his music on so high his ears had to hurt. Being ignored was no fun at all.

That was why on Wednesday morning before the bus came, when Naruto started to tell Sasuke about how he finally defeated a really difficult boss on his newest Playstation game and Sasuke told him to shut up so loud that it was almost a yell, Naruto first just stared in surprised, then smiled, shrugged and said ‘okay’. The smirks and giggles from the girls at the bus stop barely registered.

It was less exciting when Sasuke stomped onto the bus and didn’t take an empty seat by the window as he had done the two previous days, but sat down next to a girl. For a moment Naruto just stood there, not quite knowing what to do. The girl next to Sasuke looked like she’d died and been reborn into a fairy tale even after he’d told her to shut up too (as a small comfort it was one of the ‘Sasuke is my prince’ girls; they were not nearly as frustrating as the ‘Sasuke without clothes is the main decoration on my birthday cake with lots of cream’ ones).

It was even less exciting when the bus arrived at school and Naruto’s attempt to walk next to Sasuke to the lockers was met with curses, insults and a brand new version of ‘stay away from me’. The ‘he’s talking to me!’ joy was very easy to kill.

The rest of Wednesday and Thursday continued in the same manner. Naruto came close to Sasuke and Sasuke delivered a new string of obscenities, telling Naruto what a stupid idiot he was; that guy sure knew a lot of bad words. Sometimes he was angry and growling, but most of the times he was just smirking and rude; and there was something in those gorgeous dark eyes when Sasuke was rude and smirking made Naruto itch even worse than the ‘naked Sasuke with cream’ girls.

It didn’t matter how much in love you were, constantly being called stupid, retard, idiot, moron, and those were just the nicer words, was frustrating. Sasuke didn’t threaten with violence or get violent, but when he turned his back and walked away after another series of insults, Naruto felt like he had been punched. While he had no idea how it would fit into the ‘trying to become friends and later get married’ plans (because he still really wanted that for some twisted, weird reason) Naruto wanted to curse back or just punch the guy.

It really made a lot of sense to stick to his original plan and Iruka’s advice; give Sasuke some time to... cool off or whatever. The guy couldn’t constantly be an angry asshole. Yeah, so Sasuke’s obscenities spurred Naruto on; it was a challenge, Sasuke was trying to insult him into giving up and Naruto never gave up. But he did take breaks, didn’t he? When he needed to eat or sleep or go to the bathroom, before coming back to try again. Maybe he could take a bathroom break from Sasuke now?

It was starting to get so Naruto felt like an idiot, trying to be friendly with a guy that only insulted him back; like a wimp too, for just taking it. The Sasuke fan girls hated him and the guys at school had no idea what he was doing. ‘He’s an asshole, just leave him alone,’ they said. Lee told Naruto several times that maybe he should just give Sasuke some time. ‘He just got here, maybe he’s homesick?’ When Naruto pointed out how when Lee got together with his boyfriend things hadn’t been exactly ideal either, Lee reminded him that they had not gotten together the first week.

By the end of Thursday, Naruto was ready to do it. He stayed clear of Sasuke on the first break after lunch and managed to just watch and hold his breath as one of the braver or more stubborn fan girls made her move. She had a hand on her hip, a smile on her lips and blonde hair in curls; long legs and a chest that Naruto had heard guys talk about. One of the ‘naked Sasuke with cream’ girls. She gestured in Naruto’s direction and rolled her eyes. His hands itched and his feet wanted to carry him over there as quickly as possible, but Naruto managed to not listen to them this time.

Less than a minute after she had approached Sasuke, the girl walked away again, trying to hide her disappointment. Naruto could let his breath go; his fingers uncurled and relaxed. But frustration hovered around him even after the girl had left. Sasuke didn’t as much as glance in Naruto’s direction. He hadn’t called her stupid. Naruto didn’t want to stay away anymore. But that first break after lunch was short and over and class was starting again. Naruto spent 40 minutes of math staring at Sasuke’s angry back and his angry hair.

Then came P.E.

For some reason, Naruto hadn’t thought about what having P.E. now that Sasuke was here would mean. It came as both a horrifying and heavenly surprise when the guy came strolling into the locker room as if he should be there. He should be there, of course. He was a guy and it was the guys’ locker room. While a few of the girls no doubt would have loved to have him with them, guys stayed in the guys’ locker room.

At first Naruto didn’t quite know what to do. He wanted to hide in the bathroom, tell Sasuke to get out, stop and stare, just scream, but none of those things seemed reasonable. He found himself sympathizing with every gay guy that had ever set his foot in a locker room. And girl and her foot, because girls could be gay too, right?

Then Sasuke pulled his shirt off his head. The movement went in slow motion and Naruto did stare and more and more skin was just revealed and it was pale and he looked so smooth and he had to taste so good with cream.

Before Sasuke could pull his pants down, Naruto did hide in the bathroom. His heart was pounding, his palms were sweaty and he could hear his breathing in the darkness, had not felt like turning on the light. He had a hard-on.

It felt horribly strange to him now, now that things had changed, but less than ten minutes ago hard-ons had had nothing to do with Sasuke. Sasuke had been gorgeous and angry and rude and frustrating, but not impure-thought invoking. Of course, he had been impure-thought invoking; it was just that Naruto hadn’t known about it. Or, he had known, intellectually; but not physically. Not like he knew it now.

It felt like the world had been turned upside down.

Despite his height Naruto wasn’t usually bad at basketball, but that Thursday he sucked. He left the hall as quickly as he could once class was over and hurried to finish in the showers before Sasuke could get there. He failed. He had just turned to leave the downpour from the shower head in the ceiling when Sasuke stepped through the door, giving Naruto a perfect view of everything.

Naruto’s feet threw down roots and he almost fell from the sudden stop. The towel Sasuke held in one hand and the bottle he held in the other did nothing to hide anything. Naruto’s heart had stopped and warmth washed over him from everywhere. On fire. Sasuke was so naked.

Scowling dark eyes growling ‘fuck off’; ribs, pale and almost skinny; hipbones, pubes that matched his hair and the reason he belonged in the guys’ locker room. Long, slim legs. Toes to die for, fingering the wet tiles.

Naruto didn’t have any problems leaving Sasuke alone on Friday.

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On Saturday Naruto went over too Lee’s house. It was about ten minutes away if you ran. Naruto had been running at lot between his house and Lee’s house when he was a kid, but now he usually walked. It took longer but walking was nice. It was one of those things you learned to appreciate when you grew up. Walking and naked, gorgeous, angry guys.

Lee was a year older than Naruto and they had been friends since Naruto was in first grade and Lee was in second. Naruto had heard someone say that Lee was in a fighting club and really good at fighting. ‘I bet no one in the whole school can beat him,’ someone had said. ‘It’s impossible!’

Even when he was in first grade, Naruto had been a firm believer that nothing was impossible. He had also liked fighting a lot back in those days; it had been one of the few things he was good at. So Naruto had practiced for a whole week in the schoolyard, during every break and lunch hour; sometimes the teachers had been forced to drag him to class because his muscles didn’t hurt enough when break was over. He had practiced at home too, though he had been careful not to tell Iruka why. Iruka did not like fighting nearly as much as Naruto did.

When the week was over, Naruto had challenged Lee to a fight, confident he could do what no one in the whole school could do. They had met after school, in a patch of forest between school and Lee’s house.

Lee had finally said it was a draw. It hadn’t been. Lee had been much stronger; Naruto had just refused to accept that he was beaten. Nothing was impossible, as long as you kept going and didn’t give up. As long as you were breathing and aware of it, you were not beaten. But Lee was a nice guy and hadn’t wanted to keep going until Naruto wasn’t breathing or was unaware that he was breathing. So he had said it was a draw. Naruto had gotten really angry at first and refused to accept that too. Lee had had to give a lot of reasons before Naruto had finally stopped trying to punch him.

After that Lee and Naruto had become friends. Lee’s dad Gai had also managed to convince Iruka to let Naruto join Lee’s fighting club. While Naruto did believe that nothing was impossible, he had still been very surprised when Iruka told him he could learn fighting at a club. Iruka has said that if Naruto wanted to fight that much, it was better if he did it with grown-ups around that could make sure he didn’t get hurt or hurt someone else. ‘And make sure you get rid of as much energy as you can,’ Iruka had also said.

Naruto wasn’t in the club anymore, but he still liked fighting; even if it was more watching than doing these days. He went to Lee’s matches and cheered and he killed a lot of zombies and monsters on his Playstation. Now and then he would spar with Lee in the patch of forest. Lee couldn’t go all out, was too good for that with Naruto these days, but Naruto was old enough to accept it. He enjoyed the way fighting had him move his body. It was easy and uncomplicated; he knew the movements like they were etched into his bones and knew the end would always be the same; sweaty, aching, panting and no winner.

Naruto went to Lee’s house that Saturday to ask for a sparring match. He needed a break from the love/frustration/confusion/arousal that Sasuke caused.

He could not make sense of how to approach the guy. He wanted to stick to the original ‘give him some space’ plan, and after Thursday’s shocking revelation it made even more sense; Naruto did not want to embarrass himself because Sasuke caused his body to go haywire. Yes, random hard-ons in places where you did not want to get a hard-on were a natural thing when you were a teenager and a guy; but it was entirely different if it wasn’t random.

At the same time the plan felt like a stupid one. Naruto had no idea why. It wasn’t stupid and intellectually he knew that. Usually Naruto wouldn’t even consider putting his head before his heart, but... this was serious stuff! Sometimes when Naruto ignored his head and followed his heart, things got messy and he did not want to screw this up. And it wasn’t just his head he would be ignoring if he followed his heart this time, it was Iruka’s and Lee’s too; and Sasuke’s wishes.

But even with all those excellent reasons why the plan was a good one, Naruto’s heart and bones said it was crap. They gave no good reasons, as always, just made Naruto feel that leaving Sasuke alone was a bad thing to do.

Unfortunately, heart and bones were fully supported by hormones. That was one result of Thursday’s shocking revelation that Sasuke indeed was very impure-thought invoking. If one were to argue that Naruto should have been happy for more support to the heart choice, they’d be forgetting one very important thing. It was hormones that were supportive.

Hormones were completely unreliable when it came to problem solving. They had only one thing on their mind and anything they came up with was based on that single interest. Of course it was a bad plan to leave Sasuke alone if you wanted him naked with cream! Yes, public hard-ons were embarrassing, but you had to learn to deal with them, fight them, and what better way to do that than to practice. It made perfect sense.

If Naruto had been given a choice he would have definitely kept the hormones away from this. Letting hormones near important choices was like letting hungry lions near endangered zebras. But the problem with hormones was you couldn’t do much about them once they had decided they wanted to meddle.

Since Thursday and P.E. Naruto had jerked off so many times that two weeks should have passed, not almost two days, and no matter how hard he had tried to keep Sasuke out of the dirty thoughts, the hormones had smuggled him in anyway. On Friday Naruto’s mind had wandered in class and given him a hard-on more times than he had had classes. Friday and Saturday morning he had woken up sweaty with his sheets soiled and vivid recollections of a dream involving naked Sasuke and lots of cream still fluttering through his mind.

Hormones were insanely aggressive and impossible to ignore.

Naruto had two options that seemed equally bad/good and a highly frustrated mind that needed to make a choice. He was in desperate need of getting his ass kicked. And maybe Lee would have some good advice afterwards too, about what to do with the Sasuke dilemma.

However, unfortunately Naruto didn’t find what he was looking for at his friend’s house; quite the opposite actually. He opened the door to Lee’s room, walked in, had time to say ‘I need you to...’ before the discovery that Lee wasn’t alone stole the rest of his sentence.

They were on the bed. Only legs, arms and the top of Lee’s head was showing, the rest of him was hidden behind feet, a naked lower half of back and red mop of hair.

The hand settled over the bared spine, just above the ass, flinched and began to pull away but a new hand reached back and kept it from retreating.

“It’s just Naruto.”

Because his head was turned away and he spoke into another mouth, Gaara’s voice was muffled.

Naruto beat back the flutter in his stomach and the thought that came crawling, whispering ‘what if that was me and...’ Stupid thoughts. It’s wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Lee and Gaara make out a thousand times before.

“It’s just me,” Naruto muttered. “Morning. Don’t mind me.”

“Good morning, Naruto,” Lee said. His voice was muffled too.

The sound of kissing continued. Naruto sighed and flopped down on the floor. There went his sparring match, because Lee never sparred with Naruto when Gaara was around. Just perfect. He grabbed the nearest magazine, the August issue of Fitness and Food Monthly.

Gaara was Naruto’s friend and Lee’s boyfriend. He was the same age as Naruto but they were in different classes. Gaara had moved to town two years ago with his older sister and brother; they didn’t have any parents. Gaara had been... bad, at first. He had been hurting people. He had hurt Lee really badly.

That was the reason Naruto didn’t officially fight anymore. Iruka had decided after what happened to Lee and Naruto hadn’t argued. It was hard to argue about something like that when your best friend was in the hospital and you didn’t know if he was going to be crippled for life, or even survive.

But these days Gaara was a friend; and a boyfriend. He was a bit strange; didn’t care about things that people usually cared about, like being caught making out with their boyfriend or leaving embarrassing things lying around. He probably used more eye make-up than all the girls in school combined, and he had a tattoo on his forehead. Supposedly it said ‘love’, but Naruto suspected that was just something Gaara had made up because it didn’t suit him at all.

When Naruto had first met Gaara in school that Monday after the first time he’d met Sasuke, the first thing Gaara had said was ‘you’ve got a crush on the new guy.’ Naruto had for a second just stood in stunned silence (mouth open, cheeks burning and everything), then he had thrown a fit, pointed at the redhead and yelled ‘you don’t know that!’

Though he had known that Gaara had known. Yes, Gaara could have guessed and Naruto’s initial reaction would have told him he was right, or Lee could have just told him on Sunday, but that wasn’t the case. Gaara had claimed that the love had been sparkling in Naruto’s eyes, or something like that, but Naruto knew the truth. Gaara had known.

Besides being strange, a friend and a former bad guy, Gaara also had one of those radars that Iruka had, to pick up what people were hiding. Only instead of picking up things that could get you grounded, Gaara’s radar picked up things that were embarrassing or potentially embarrassing. Naruto wasn’t sure which radar was worse.

Naruto glanced back to the bed where his two friends were entangled. When they first started dating, it had been a bit weird being in the same room as your friend and his boyfriend while they made out. Lee had thought it was weird too, making out with an audience; but Gaara was a persuasive guy and they got used to it, Naruto and Lee.

Naruto was understanding. Lee and Gaara didn’t get to spend any time together in school and Lee was often busy outside of school as well. It was only natural that they would want to spend as much time as they could being... well, together. Now Naruto could definitely understand. When he eventually got together with Sasuke, he was sure he would want to have the guy within arm’s reach all the time.

So, no. Naruto wasn’t disturbed or upset that his two friends sometimes wandered away together, mentally, got caught up and ignored or forgot about him. He could entertain himself. Okay, so sometimes things went a bit too far. The noise got more desperate, the movements different and the hands slipped under the wrong clothes. The first time it had happened Naruto hadn’t noticed until it was almost over. He had been unaware of the danger and let himself be completely absorbed by a new Playstation game that Gaara had bought. He had looked over to the bed to brag about having fairly easily managed a part of the game that Gaara had complained about earlier. Naruto still shuddered when he remembered the event. Way too much skin, hands way, way too bold. Naruto had screamed, with shock, horror and outrage, because you did not do... that to each other when someone else was in the room. Lee had screamed too, with shock and horror, because he also knew you didn’t do that when someone else was in the room. Gaara’s groan of frustration had drowned in the screaming, but the look on his face had clearly shown what he thought about doing that with someone else in the room. The guy was definitely a pervert. Since that time Naruto always kept an eye on things to make sure they didn’t go that far again, and while it pissed Gaara off, Lee was very grateful.

That Saturday things hadn’t gone too far. Lee’s fingers were playing around on Gaara’s back again, on their own, tracing patterns that didn’t exist, slowly. The muscles under Gaara’s skin shifted as he moved.

Sasuke was pretty pale too. He had a really nice back. And he was definitely the type to hold onto someone’s hand if he didn’t want it to leave. He liked things the way he liked them.

Sasuke could be angry; he could be cold and push people away and he knew how to insult you. But when he was your boyfriend... when he was in love, he was warm; he was sizzling. When he was alone with you on a bed, cradled between your legs on his knees, he only pulled you closer.

His mouth breathed on you, pressed kisses to your neck with his soft lips and his warm tongue. His teeth nipped and it hurt, but only a little, only to make it feel better. His hands wandered, under clothes and over skin.

He made sounds; soft, mewling sounds that came to you not only through your ears but through your entire body, because they made him vibrate and he was pressed so close to you. His angry hair was playful and tickled your face.

Naruto realized his hand was wandering and groaned, because how long had it been since he’d changed his sheets this morning? This was ridiculous. Then he remembered where he was and what exactly had made his thoughts wander. His heart nearly stopped.

“Okay, stop! That’s enough!” Naruto yelled, tossed the magazine over a shoulder and shifted his legs to hide the consequences of the combination of wandering thoughts and teenage hormones.

Shit. He was blushing. His voice had been too high, more of a shriek than a yell. Shit, shit. Naruto knew he should have gone home as soon as he saw Lee wasn’t alone.

“What’s wrong, Naruto?” Gaara asked. His voice was calm and sprinkled with ‘I know exactly what you’re thinking’. Shit. Naruto shifted.

“Nothing.”

Maybe he could run for it. He refused to lift his head and actually look at his friends. The bed creaked.

“Bullshit,” Gaara said.

“I said it’s nothing.”

“You’re lying.”

“You guys were embarrassing!” Naruto shouted and looked up without thinking. Gaara had turned, twisted around between Lee’s legs; red hair messy, pair of pale green eyes glimmering. He hooked onto Naruto’s eyes without mercy. His lips were curled in delight.

“Don’t tease him, Gaara,” Lee intervened gently with a sigh. One of his hands reached out and pulled a strand of hair away from Gaara’s eyes, exposing the edge of the tattoo. For a second Gaara’s attention was drawn from Naruto and Naruto took advantage and looked away, out the window. It was a cloudy day; there had been threats of rain.

“Fine,” Gaara said softly. The sound of a kiss was heard, followed by a loud-on-purpose whisper.

“I think watching us is turning him on. He saw Sasuke naked in the showers the day before yesterday and hasn’t been the same since. He’s sexually frustrated, needs to get laid. A wet dream woke him up this morning that’s why he’s cranky.”

“I did not...! You...! You don’t know...!” Naruto sputtered, cheeks burning, hated that he hated lying when it mattered and grabbed onto the one thing Gaara had definitely been wrong about. “I don’t need to get laid!”

Yes, alright, Naruto preferred Iruka’s radar. Getting grounded was never fun, but at least Iruka wasn’t evil about it.

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A dream had taken Naruto back to the showers after P.E. The sound of water racing between ceiling and floor was echoing off the walls, the room bright and steamy. The locker room behind Naruto was empty, everyone having left early for some unknown, but probably strange dream reason. He had only taken a few steps inside.

Sasuke had not left early. He stood in the middle shower, naked back facing Naruto, partially shrouded in haze; water dropping from his hair and pearling down his skin. Water, steam, bright walls and him.

Naked Dream Sasuke wasn’t unbearably beautiful. The sight of him didn’t steal Naruto’s breath or constrict his throat, didn’t force his heart to hammer or his hands to fist. He was amazingly beautiful. His gorgeousness warmed Naruto from the inside and out, soothingly.

Naked Dream Sasuke was unbearable, when he turned and looked at you with cold, angry eyes. Breathing was suddenly difficult and the heart started hammering. Terribly hot. Naruto felt terribly hot. There was a bad feeling seeping through his body, so emotional that it got physical. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted closer but the beautiful creature in the shower seemed so far away. It was like the steam was more solid, a sticky web that clung to both of them and didn’t let Naruto come closer. He had a strong feeling that it was Sasuke that made the steam sticky and solid. Even Dream Sasuke’s eyes said ‘fuck off’. Naruto felt like he had a hole in his stomach that tried to eat him.

“But I want to be with you!” he shouted, but unlike the water his voice did not echo. Naruto got angry. Why did Sasuke have to push him away? Unbearableness was frustration and frustration was anger.

Naruto snarled and lashed out at the sticky haze. Sasuke cocked his head to one side in a slightly curious and amused ‘what are you trying to do now?’ Like Naruto was a silly child that didn’t know you couldn’t get through sticky dream steam.

“I don’t care!” Naruto shouted his reply while still fighting the haze. “I’m not giving you up!”

Naruto was slapped in the face as one dream steam string broke and closed his eyes instinctually. When he opened them again, the scene had changed and he was on his back in his bed. He recognized the ceiling above his head.

“Naruto...”

Sasuke was there. He was the warmth and weight on Naruto’s chest. Naruto’s arms were swept around him to keep him close. There was a leg on each side of Naruto’s legs, pressed close to his body. The weight wasn’t just on his chest, but over his crotch as well.

“Mm?”

He could see black hair and feel a nose digging in the skin around his ear.

“You’re so beep and I can beeep imagine your beeeep, oh beep.”

Naruto frowned. The ‘beep’s had sounded just like those annoying censor noises they had on TV sometimes when people said bad words. If they worked the same way in dreams, Naruto wasn’t surprised Sasuke got censored. It did make communication a bit tricky though.

“What?” Naruto asked.

There came a sigh against Naruto’s neck and the beautiful face, framed by dark hair and made perfect by dark eyes, that could only belong to one surly neighbor came into view. One of his brows was raised.

“I said, you’re so beeeep and I beep beep, like beeeep?”

Sasuke looked expectant. Like there was a question in there that needed an answer. Naruto laughed nervously and there was a feeling creeping up on him that this dream was going to take a turn again.

“Ah… what do you mean, ah… beep?”

Naruto tried to look and sound cheerful, like it made sense and wasn’t a very big deal, only there was no censor sound when he said it and his voice did not make the ‘beep’ justice. Sasuke frowned and looked annoyed.

“What the beep are you beeep talking about?”

“Ah, no, no. Nothing, let’s just… come here.”

He grabbed Sasuke’s neck and pulled the perfect face and poking nose and pretty mouth back to his throat. That was good. No confusing censoring, just that incredibly comfortable closeness that Naruto wouldn’t even trade for food on a deserted island. But Sasuke pressed against his hand and came back into view. Now he looked pissed.

“beep, what the beep beep you beeeep doing beeep?”

Naruto could cry, he really could.

“I don’t… It doesn’t… Oh, come on Sasuke, can’t we just…?”

“beep you! beeep beep beeeeep you beep…”

And soon there was nothing more than a constant horrible censor sound where there should have been words. Sasuke’s mouth moved like he really had a lot to say and but all Naruto heard was that noise and no matter what he tried to say Sasuke didn’t stop talking. Finally Naruto gave up and just screamed.

His own scream woke him up and Naruto found himself sitting in his bed, breathing like he’d just run home from school. He was soaked in sweat and sprouting an angry hard-on. The room was still dark and the outside was too.

Naruto peered at the red numbers of the clock on his nightstand and noted that he had three hours before he had to get up and get ready for school. He would have to go back to sleep once he’d dealt with his problem. Naruto groaned and fell back to the mattress; took a moment to wish he had fallen in love with someone easier before letting his hand wander.

And so it was Monday.

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