The Art of Comedy Combat

Clowning Around

Written By: PrinceofPervs

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

A TRIPLE Update! I have outdone myself. Anyway, enjoy this little build up to the fight between Lee and Gaara!
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'I cannot believe it! Hinata, the little flower of the Hyuuga clan managed to defeat Neji-san!'

To say that Lee was stunned would be putting it lightly. He never thought that Neji would be met with defeat so early within the exam. He had always thought that Neji would be the one person that would go all the way to the top...at least until they met on the field of battle.

But now...he was taken out of the running completely by the LAST person he had expected.

'I find myself...conflicted. I would like to avenge your loss, Neji-san...and yet...I find myself drawn to this girl. Not in an romantic way, but in more of a, 'I want to fight her myself' way. Then again...I guess me seeing another genius of Hard Work prevail gets my blood running...'

"LEE!" Gai called out, making the Taijutsu user jump a little in the air.

"Y-yes, Gai-sensei?" Lee said, saluting his teacher.

"You seem to be lost in thought. Is there something on your mind that you would like to share with me?" Gai enquired.

"No, Gai-sensei. I am quite fine. I...just feel a bit parched from all the hot action that has happened. And only getting into the action myself will quench my thirst!" Lee reassured him.

"That's the spirit, my cute student! The flames of youth burn brightly within you!" Gai said, his eyes burning fire.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee said with admiration.

"Lee!" Gai replied, looking upon Lee with proudness in his eyes.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"You know, people are gonna take that the wrong way if you keep it up," Naruto said, walking up to the duo.

"Oh, Naruto-kun!" Lee greeted, not hearing what the blond said before. "Congrats on your victory against Kiba-kun!"

"Heh, no problem. He underestimated me, so he payed the price," Naruto shrugged. "Anyway, I heard that you were parched. So I wanted to give you this."

Naruto pulled out an Ice Cold Can that had the word 'Ninja Dew' on it.

"May I ask what that is, Naruto-kun?" Gai inquired, looking at the can with confusion on his face.

"It's a cold drink that I had imported from Sunakagure. It was said to be able to help a Ninja perform twice as good in combat!" Naruto declared. Then he made a face. "But it didn't really taste all that good to me. So you can have it."

"Oh, my thanks, Naruto-kun!" Lee said, taking the can and having a big sip out of it.

"Oh, by the way, your match is up next," Naruto pointed out. Lee and Gai turned towards the screen.

Rock Lee vs Gaara of the Sand

"YES! All right, Lee! It's time for every one to see what you are made of!" Gai cheered.

But Lee didn't say anything. He just stared down at the ground.

"...Lee? Are you okay?" Gai said, putting his hand on the boy's shoulder.

Lee shrugged it off of him, and said in a low voice. "Oh...I'm more than okay. And it's because..."

And he turned towards Gai with a mean look on his face.

"I'm about to stomp a mudhole in someone's ass."

As Gai dropped his mouth open in shock, and Naruto raised an eyebrow, Lee jumped down into the arena, and walked towards the middle of it, his arms swinging back and forth as he walked with a purpose.

"...What has gotten into my cute pupil?" Gai said, looking nervous.

"...Ya got me," Naruto replied, shrugging.

Gaara was waiting in the arena, his arms crossed as his sand stormed around him impatiently. 'Don't worry, mother. You're about to get some fresh blood in a second...' Gaara thought, holding in the urge to smile sadistically.

Finally, Lee got to the middle of the ground where Gaara was standing at, and he got right into the Suna-nin's face, staring him down. Gaara made an annoyed face, and held in the urge to just crush the weird-looking fool with his sand right then and there.

"That guy must have a death wish or something..." Kankuro said, shaking his head. "There's no way he's a match for Gaara."

"Kankuro...normally, I'd agree. But you DID see that Uzumaki-brat give something to Mr. Moe Howard down there, right? Last time that happened, that meek little Hyuuga girl defeated the so-called number one rookie of the past year," Temari pointed out.

"I don't care. There is NOTHING that the blond brat could have given that weirdo that could help him defeat Gaara," Kankuro said, nodding his head with his arms crossed.

After a few moments passed, Hayate had to push Lee away from Gaara. "Okay, that's enough of that. Save it for the fighting. Begin!"

"Humph. You don't look like much at all, Leaf-nin. But blood is blood...and I'm sure that mother will love to taste yours..." Gaara said in his creepy tone of voice, his face blank of emotion.

"I really doubt that. Ya see, there ain't NO way that I'm losing to someone who dresses like that, and uses something that can make sandcastles as a weapon," Lee scoffed. "And as for my blood...ya can't have it. But I'll show ya what ya can have..."

And he gave Gaara the one-finger salute.

Everyone's eyes bugged out at that, Gai's in particular.

"Lee! That is not very youthful at ALL!" Gai shouted down to his student.

Lee looked back at his mentor. "Gai...I respect ya...but for now, please SHUT THE HELL UP so I can kick this sorry son of a bitch's ass."

Gai nearly fainted as he heard those words coming from his pupil.

"Hmm...seems that your student has a bit of an attitude, wouldn't you say, Gai?" Kakashi said, smiling under his mask.

"Now then...if ya want ta see me open up a can of whoop-ass on this sandman reject, then give me a hell yeah!" Lee shouted.

"HELL YEAH!" Both Naruto and Sakura shouted.

Everyone turned towards them.

"...What?" Naruto said, shrugging. "He made fools out of us the first time we met."

"Oh, Naruto-kuuunnn..." Hinata's voice came from behind him.

Naruto froze, and slowly turned around to see Hinata with an honest smile on her pretty face.

"I won, Naruto-kun. And you know what that means..." Hinata said, her innocent face fading away to be replaced with a seducive look that still managed to look cute.

"Uh...can't I wait until this match is over, first?" Naruto gulped, trying to find an escape route.

"And give you a chance to escape? No way, Naruto-kun," Hinata giggled, latching onto his arm.

Unseen by anyone, the sudden movement caused something to fall out of Naruto's Orange Jacket...a vial of some sort.

"Now then...let's go to the back...and I'll show you those...advance moves I mentioned during my fight with Neji-nii..." Hinata giggled with a sly look on her face.

As the Hyuuga dragged Naruto away, Sakura, with a smirk on her face, said, "Don't worry, Naruto! I'll tell you what happened when you get back. Have fun!"


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And that's all for this chapter. Short, I know, but it'll be a set up for what might be my longest chapter for this story.

Plus, I've already said that Naruto will be with eight women. But don't worry. Since I'm planning on having ALL the Rookie Nine, Gai's Team, and The Suna Sibs learn Comedy Combat, most of the other guys won't be left without girls of their own. Let's just say that the fillers DO serve their purpose...to a fanfic writer at least. And since I'm in a good mood, I'll give you a clue to who Sasuke's Inner Imp will be modeled after. Here it is.

HAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

If you've played Video Games, then you might have an idea who that is. Good luck trying to figure out Lee's Inner Imp as well!

And as for Hinata's Inner Pixie, she's based off of a character called Anzu, who was in a Hentai called Koihime. You can see bits of it on youtube (without the Hentai), or watch full episodes of it on youporn.

Anyway, what has come over Lee? Will it help him in the fight against Gaara? And will Naruto be able to escape Hinata before he loses his virginity? Find out on the next chapter, Who's the TRUE winner here?

And now that my author's note has most likely outworded my actual chapter, it's time to end it. Catch you Next Continue!