What Can I Do For You?

Summary: Iruka Umino is a single dad raising the son of his deceased sister. He moves into a new neighborhood for a fresh start. Who knew the man on the floor above him was such a romantic?



From Your Secret Admirer



Warnings: cursing, implied masturbation, KakaIru, fluff, adorable baby Naruto, did I mention fluff…



Iruka Umino wrinkled his nose as he stepped into the apartment he just rented. Boxes lined the halls as well as were stacked in various rooms. The few pieces of furniture he currently owned were set haphazardly through the seemingly tiny space. The only thing going for this building was that the neighborhood was clean, the people friendly, and the schools were in walking distance.



The move hadn’t really been a necessity, but he refused to raise his son in the area of his previous neighborhood. His son. It felt strange calling the two year old toddler his son. The death of his half-sister Kushina and her husband Minato shook him badly. That they left an infant son in his care made it all the more stressful.



Well, to be honest, he could have just allowed Naruto to be placed in foster care. He didn’t have to take him but the instant those huge blue eyes met his, he knew there was no other place for Naruto but with him. In the tragedy surrounding them, they bonded almost instantly.



As if on cue, a slight whine came from the play pen set up in the corner of what would eventually be the living room. It wasn’t long before a tussled head of golden hair poked over the edge of the plastic rim. Blue eyes blinked sleepily at Iruka before welling up with tears.



“Don’t cry, Naruto.” he said, quickly picking up the toddler.



As quickly as they began, the tears dried up. The little con artist knew what he was doing, Iruka grumbled to himself as he sat the boy on the sofa while he went to grab a few of the finger food baby meals from the kitchen. Surely the thirty seconds he was gone would be too short of a time to get into too much trouble…wrong.



Iruka grabbed the ready made meal from the pantry and returned to the living area to see Naruto…diaper-less, urine spraying from his tiny penis all over the rug. “Pee…Pee…Na pee.”



If Iruka’s eyes could have gotten bigger, they would have popped out of his skull. “Oh God, Naruto!” he practically screeched, trying to catch some of the never ending spray with the discarded diaper.



The stream stopped but the damage had been done. Little damp designs of urine decorated the carpet. Naruto looked at his adoptive father, giggling at what he’d done. Who knew a baby could have so much piss stored away.



“Bad, Naruto. You did bad.” Iruka intoned angrily.



Huge tears began trickling from the once happy eyes, leaving wet tracks down his face. His mouth opened up and before Iruka could even think about calming him, he released a wail of hurt. The sound seemed even louder in the sparsely furnished place. Iruka instantly felt a wave of remorse go through him. He instantly jumped in to try and salvage the damage.



“I’m sorry Naruto. I didn’t mean to yell. You just can’t go taking off your diaper and peeing on the carpet.” Iruka hugged the toddler before sliding a pair of pull-ups on him. He really could not wait for him to be potty trained.



Sticking him in his play pen, he gave him a few of his favorite toys before breaking open the cleaning supply box. Taking a damp sponge, and a spray can of carpet cleaner, he began scrubbing the carpet in all the damp places. Cleaning up piss was not how he saw his first day in the new apartment going but it needed to be done. Adjusting to being a father was not going as easily as he’d hoped. Some days were better than others but that was life. Naruto was a baby. There would be time for rules and growing up later.



He ran a finger over the scar crossing his nose. It had become a nervous gesture when he was in deep thought. He could have had it repaired with his savings but he was so used to it, he would look strange without it. Besides, it had a purpose now. It was a good way to get the students talking. It was funny to watch them stare at his face on the first couple of days of classes. It wasn’t until one brave soul asked about it would he explain how he acquired it.



Of course they would want to hear about him being a former soldier or having been attacked by some murderer. The truth was always less exciting than fiction. He’d received the wound when his horse had been spooked while riding with Kushina through the pastures of the farm where they grew up. It just so happened that he was thrown straight into a barbed wire fence. The injury required twenty stitches. At the time, their family didn’t have the extra cash for cosmetic surgery. Over time, he just got used to the way he looked. He wasn’t disfigured in any way in his mind.



“Hey, Naruto. How about we go grocery shopping? I’ll make us something good for dinner.” Iruka asked the toddler, smiling when the chubby little face lit up.



“Ram. Ram. Ram.” chanted Naruto, grinning widely.



“We’ll see.” Iruka smiled.



The next half of an hour was spent getting ready. His own lounge clothes were shed for a pair of comfortable jeans and a tee-shirt. It took him five minutes to change. The challenge came in dressing Naruto. Despite the promise of food, Naruto was still a baby. He squirmed. He played. He ignored Iruka’s exasperated looks.



When they finally made it to the grocery two blocks down, Naruto was all smiles. Every woman they passed stopped to oh and ah over the adorable blond toddler in the stroller. Iruka would simply stand and blush as they batted their eyes at him. A family man appealed to the nesting instincts in every woman but they scared the shit out of him. It wasn’t that he didn’t like women. In fact, he found them extremely attractive. He just had trouble talking with them. Some times, it felt as if they were speaking a completely different language. He was eternally grateful he enjoyed the romantic company of men or else he would probably be screwed, just not in the good sense.



He’d known he was bisexual since the eight grade. Just because he liked men as well as women didn’t make him queer or flaming. He liked cooking but he also liked football and baseball. He always kept his home neat, but dressed casually; most often in jeans or sweat pants. In fact, knowing him, one would have trouble seeing him as gay, let along bisexual.



Unlike his adoptive father, Naruto appeared completely at ease with the female attention. He ate it up as if he was starving for it. His bright smiles and baby talk sent the women into peals of giggles. Only two years old and already a lady killer…



“Ladies, while I’m sure he would love to stay and flirt, we need to be getting home before the ice cream melts.” Iruka smiled politely at the pouting faces of the women who stepped aside to allow him to move down the sidewalk.



“Naruto, stop being so cute. That little trip took us over an hour.” Iruka hissed to the boy. A giggle was the only answer.



He juggled the two paper bags while trying to fit his key in the lock. One bag began to slip. He just knew it was the one with the eggs. His fingers lost their grip and he cursed himself for not just setting the bags on the floor but he thought it would be quicker just to keep holding them. Naruto was already beginning to whine.



“Whoa, you nearly tossed your groceries on the ground. Good thing I was here to help.”



Iruka released a sigh of relief. Glancing to his savior he arched a brow. The man looked like a mixture of a pirate and a hobo. He wore raggedy sweats, a black patch over his left eye, and a blue bandana tied around his forehead.



“Thank you, Mr…?”



“Kakashi Hatake. I live in 3B. I was just on my way to check my mail. Cute kid. Where’s your wife? Shouldn‘t she be the house wife or are you one of those stay at home dads?”



“I’m not married.”



“Divorced? Widowed?”



“No! Naruto is my sister’s son.”



“Ah, babysitting.”



“No. She and her husband were killed in an accident. I chose to adopt Naruto.”



“Interesting.”



Iruka failed to see what was interesting about the death of his sister. In fact, he took slight offense to it. Turning the key in the latch, he pushed Naruto‘s stroller in the door before snatching the bag from his neighbor‘s hands. “Thank you for you help, Mr. Hatake.”



“Kakashi.”



Iruka nodded before closing the door. He sighed. Despite the premature silver of his hair and the utterly unkempt look, Kakashi was a very attractive man. He was probably one of the most attractive he’s seen in a while with the exception of models. His eyes held a touch of humor that completely infatuated him. It was a shame he was probably straight. A damn shame. Not to mention he was annoying. It was better that he was straight.



“Who’s hungry?” he smiled at Naruto, pushing thoughts of how sexy Kakashi Hatake made sweat pants look.



~*~



The next few weeks were full of many changes. Iruka’s new job at the high school was proving more trying than he’d first thought. The students were so far behind from having had a mediocre teacher for the first half of the year. To make matters worse, Naruto hated day care. Now, one might not think that a child of two can’t hate much of anything but everyday after he picked him up from Rainbow Circle Daycare, he was whiny, clingy, and altogether in an ill mood. It wasn’t until after dinner did he start perking up into his normal bubbly self.



It wasn’t that Iruka particularly wanted to put Naruto in daycare but being a single parent, he really didn’t have a choice. He couldn’t very well bring the baby to school with him and the hiring of a private nanny was definitely out of the question. He could barely afford this apartment on his salary, let alone pay for a full time nanny.



“Let’s just make the best of it.” he smiled to boy as he played in the tub. The ringing of the doorbell drew his attention. He sighed, scooping up the toddler in a towel before trudging towards the door. Today, he felt just as whiny as Naruto. He could go for a soak in the bath about now.



Opening the door, arms still full of sleepy Naruto, he saw the man who had featured a leading role in most of his fantasies since meeting him. Today he was dressed a little better in jeans and a flannel shirt. Damn but he made casual look good.



“Can I help you, Mr. Hatake?” Iruka asked, hoping the blush he could feel coming on wasn’t too visible on his face.



A lazy smile crept across the lean face as he arched a brow in amusement. “I thought we agreed you would call me Kakashi?”



“I think you agreed to that, not me.” Iruka was sure his face was flaming red. It certainly felt that way. “Back to my original question…”



“Ah yes. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar?”



Iruka blinked a few times at the man, wondering if he’d heard him right. He wanted…sugar? Sugar as in…a kiss? No! Bad brain. He wants a cup a sugar, not a kiss. You seriously need to get laid if you are turning into a starry eyed woman at a simple question from a good looking man.



The giggling Naruto hanging from his arm brought him back into reality. Composing what was left of his sanity, he pushed open the door before heading towards the bedroom with the giggling toddler.



Kakashi following along behind, chuckled at the sight. “I didn’t realize you kept your sugar in the bedroom.”



Iruka whirled around. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?”



“You are the host. I was only following where you led.”



“You idiot! You are the guest, which means you wait until I tell you to follow me. Any intelligent person would have waited in the kitchen. We passed right by it on the way here.” Iruka practically screamed. His anger masking how much he wanted Kakashi to stay right where he was and let him ravish him.



“Well, I mean…it’s not like I’m going to ravish you.”



Iruka froze, his eyes going wide. God, what were the chances of them thinking something so similar it was scary. Pretty damn good judging by the fact Iruka had just heard those words leave the absolutely stunning lips of Kakashi.



“I...I…know that. This is just my private space and you are invading it.”



“Well, he’s in it. If he can be in it so can I.”



Iruka was speechless again. Were they actually having this conversation? He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. How did this man do this to him?



“He lives here!”



“So do I.”



“Excuse me?”



“Well, I live in the same building so technically we live under the same roof.”



“You…”



“You are dazzled by my witty personality. Yes, I know. I have to beat the girls off with a stick.”



“You…You…get the fuck out of my apartment!” Iruka screamed at the top of his lungs.



“Fuck…fuck…fuck…fuck…” Naruto giggled, repeating the word over and over.



Iruka’s face turned as red as a tomato as he stared at his nephew, a horrified look washing over his visage. Kakashi’s own eyes were wide but for a different reason. He began to laugh hysterically. His laughter only encouraged Naruto, who began again.



“Stop encouraging him, you ass.” Iruka hissed.



“Why? It’s not like he won’t learn it eventually.” Kakashi smiled. “I wonder what other words we could teach him. Imagine the fun.”



“Out!”



“Come on, Iruka…I was only teasing.”



“You have corrupted him. He’s scarred for life because of you.”



“He doesn’t look scarred to me.”



“Get Out!”



“Fine. Jeez. You should try getting laid, it would probably help with all that stuffy tension you area carrying around.”



“Out!”



“I’m going. I’m going.”



Kakashi chuckled one last time before turning to leave the bedroom. “Bye, Naruto.”



“Bye-bye.” Naruto waved a chubby fist in Kakashi’s direction, his stint with curse words already forgotten for now.



Iruka slammed the door behind Kakashi’s back before pressing his own against the wooden surface. Kakashi had used his nervousness to worm his way under his skin. It was so infuriating at how he played him like a musician. He thumped his head against the wood once more for good measure before returning to the bedroom to find Naruto curled up in his comforter, fast asleep.



He was so cute and innocent despite Kakashi’s corrupting ways. Well, he couldn’t completely blame Kakashi. Sure he started it but it was Iruka who rose to the bait. It was Iruka who cursed him out. It was Iruka’s words Naruto copied.



Scooping up the blond tyke, he laid him in his own bed. The toddler began to mumble, most likely dreaming of bathing in ramen, his favorite food. Iruka smiled fondly down at the boy before brushing back a few burnished blond locks. Every time he looked at him, he remembered his sister and her husband. It hurt painfully to take Naruto in but he could do no less for his beloved sister. Naruto reminded him a lot of Kushina, even at this age. He favored Minato but his personality was already beginning to develop into one that mirrored Kushina’s outgoing one. Naruto was the best of both of them. That alone made his presence easier.



Entering the tiny bath, he moaned as the warm water cascaded over him. The stress of the day melted away, flowing down the drain just as easily as the soap and water. What was left was his unwanted attraction to the neighbor one floor up. He could already feel the heat pooling in his groin, signaling the imminent growth of arousal.



His fingers clenched against the off white tile. He would not give into the desire to masturbate to the image of that man. He would not do it. He refused to.



Five minutes later he was slumped against the wall of his shower, panting with a hand gripping his now limp penis. It irked him more than he wanted to admit, this attraction. It was something he hadn’t experienced since college. He’d always pushed aside most relationships in favor of getting settled in his teaching career. Now, he was aching but had responsibilities he just couldn’t push aside in favor of a quick lay. Maybe in a few months when he and Naruto were settled, he’d see about sticking his toe in the dating pool again. It was time he settled down with a permanent partner.



As his eyes closed, he thought about what he would want in his perfect partner; someone with kind eyes and a sense of humor. Someone who wouldn’t mind raising a child that wasn’t his own. Of course Naruto would have to like them. As his mind drifted off to sleep, Kakashi’s smiling eyes took the place of his perfect partner.



~*~



Iruka groaned, propping his feet up on the coffee table. Normally, he was opposed to using the polished piece of furniture for a foot rest but desperate times called for desperate measures. His feet throbbed after a particularly grueling day of dealing with students and chasing Naruto. Thankfully, the toddler was playing quietly in his play pen, giving him a much needed break.



A knock sounded on the door. He was so tempted to pretend to not be home, hoping that the visitor would go away and come back later. He was tempted but the good southern gentleman in him would not allow it. Rising slowly to his feet, he padded across the carpeted apartment. Pulling open the door, he stood stunned at the sight of a flower delivery man.



“Can I help you?” Iruka crinkled his brow in confusion.



“Iruka Umino?”



“Yes.”



“I have a delivery for you.” The delivery man placed a vase of fresh cut wildflowers into his hand. The arrangement was beautiful. There were tasteful bursts of blues, pinks, and whites, offset by the added greenery. “Enjoy.”



“But…” The delivery man didn’t stop, but began making his way downstairs.



Iruka removed the card from the arrangement. Scrawled across the generic florist’s card were the words: From your secret admirer. Iruka blushed from his cheeks all the way to the tips of his hair. He’d never had a secret admirer and it was eating him up inside in the need to know who it was.



“Look at this Naruto.” Iruka brought the arrangement for Naruto to see, lowering the flowers and allowing him to touch them. Naruto, baby that he was, grabbed a daisy and promptly stuffed the flower into his mouth. Iruka almost choked in mirth before pulled the remnants of the flower from Naruto’s spitting mouth. “We don’t eat flowers, we smell them. Look.”



He brought the flower to his face, breathing in the fresh scent before placing it before Naruto’s nose. The boy took a breath, giggling. His willing smile always lifted Iruka’s spirits much as Kushina’s had done during their childhood. “I love you, Naruto.”



“Da…wuv you.” The words burst a floodgate inside him that had him cuddling Naruto close in joy. Tears rolled down his cheeks. It had been a hard decision but Iruka had decided to have Naruto call him dad instead of uncle. He wouldn’t hide the fact that he was only his uncle, but he would always be his dad. It made him think of that saying. Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.



~*~



The next day was a little better. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the secret admirer or hearing Naruto call him dad. Either way, he went through the day with a much lifted spirit. He was feeding Naruto dinner when the bell rang and once again a delivery man stood before his door. This one held a box of imported chocolates.



Naruto particularly enjoyed them. Iruka stared at the note and once more it held the same message. From your secret admirer. The flowers were a nice gift. They brightened the room and his day but chocolates? Well it just made him feel like a woman. I mean, this was how you wooed a woman and he found that utterly annoying. The chocolates were delicious and perfect after dinner but he couldn’t get over the feeling that he was being treated like a woman to be charmed.



The chocolates also had a different effect. They made him want to know who his secret admirer was. Damn it but it was the most infuriating thing he‘d ever experienced. He would find out who he or she was, come hell or high water.



Over the next two weeks, each day resulted in a new gift. A song telegram. A bouquet of balloons. A bottle of wine. A cake. Every time he called customer service wanting the name of the purchaser’s name, he received the same thing. John Doe. Each gift was bought with a disposable gift card. Completely untraceable.



Iruka collapsed on the sofa, completely frustrated with his secret admirer. Like clock work, his door bell chimed through the apartment and like the first day, he almost didn’t want to answer it but for a different reason entirely. It was his good raising that forced him to his feet and down the hall.



A white envelop lay on the floor in his tiny entry hall. Cocking his head, he picked up the envelope before opening the door. No one was there. Frowning, he pulled open the flap and withdrew a sheet of plain paper. Written in scrawling penmanship was a simple address and time. Café Kurenai. Six p.m. Tomorrow.



His eyes grew wide and his heart started to pound as if he’d just run a marathon. He wanted to meet him. The scrawling handwriting pointed to a man but either way, a date would be wonderful no matter the sex. Another benefit of finally meeting meant no more ridiculous gifts. No more mystery. They would finally meet. It was both exciting and frightening. Could all of this have lead to him finding his soul mate? He didn’t even know the person and already he was unable to stop the butterflies from swirling around in his stomach. A date. The first one in close to three years.



“Naruto. Guess what? We have a date.” The little blond giggled wildly, not knowing why his dad was so happy and not caring. All that mattered in his little brain was a full belly and a happy daddy.



Iruka smiled. He had every intention of bringing Naruto. If his secret admirer couldn’t get along with Naruto then there was no point in taking things further. He would not allow Naruto to suffer just for his own happiness. He would only get into a relationship with someone who knew what he was getting into with him. If it was someone from the school, they might not realize he had a small son. Tomorrow would reveal everything.



~*~



Iruka probably went through every suit of clothes in his closet before finally deciding on a pair of tan slacks and a green button down shirt. He pulled his hair up into his customary pony tail before dressing Naruto. His son was surprisingly well mannered, allowing himself to be dressed with only the minimum amount of fuss.



At a five-thirty, the two began the short walk to the cozy little café at the corner of Hokage Avenue and Anbu Street. Iruka hadn’t tried the place yet, but all the residents of the apartment building raved about it. They said it was type of place one could go and feel as if they were a friend coming to visit even if it was their first time there.



The stroller glided along the sidewalk as he pushed it inside the café. A red eyed woman greeted him at the door.



“Good afternoon, you must be Iruka.” she smiled kindly.



“I…I mean…do I know you?” he asked, completely flabbergasted.



“No. I was told to expect you and your son. Please follow me. I have the table ready. Would you like some tea while you wait?” she asked politely.



“Please, I’m not sure what you specialize in so I’ll leave the selection up to you.” Iruka smiled at the woman.



“I’ll have it ready in a few minutes.” She smiled and began to walk away before turning. “Don’t get worried if he isn’t here on time. He’s always late. I swear that man will be late to his own funeral. The car will break down or some sort of accident will prevent the hearse from delivering his body. I’m sure of it.”



Iruka smiled, a bit confused. She brought Iruka his tea and some sweetened milk for Naruto. Iruka smiled at the courtesy. He didn’t even ask and she was already thinking of everyone at the table, including the two year old child. He could now understand why the neighborhood was so fond of the café and its owner.



He sat nervously sipping his tea. It was a sweet, yet spicy blend that relaxed his nerves. Naruto chattered happily in his stroller, nibbling on the cookies the owner brought out for them. He wondered what he would say to his secret admirer. Would he be good looking? Not that it mattered but it would be nice if he found him at least slightly attractive. He really wanted to not be alone anymore. True he had Naruto but the toddler was still too young to offer good company when he was feeling lonely. Having a partner would be an emotional release for him.



He stared off towards the passing cars on the street, glancing at his watch every few minutes. He’d been sitting in the café for nearly an hour and a half. Naruto was dozing in his stroller. With every tick of the minute hand, Iruka grew a little more distraught. He wasn’t coming. He couldn’t believe he’d been stood up by his secret admirer.



At seven-thirty, Iruka made the decision to go home. It was nearing Naruto’s bedtime and he only wanted to go home. He felt emotionally drained. Standing, he pulled on his coat before tucking a blanket around Naruto’s form.



“Mr. Umino…”



“How much for the tea and cookies? They were delicious.”



“It’s already been taken care of. Please wait a little longer. He’s always late but he shows up.” She began to worry the material of her apron.



“I need to get Naruto home. It’s his bedtime. If he comes in, tell him I came.” Iruka smiled, pushing Naruto out of the café.



He stood at the traffic light, waiting for the crosswalk signal when a man placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Kakashi Hatake standing beside him, a sheepish look on his face.



“Sorry I’m late. The lecture ran longer than expected and then there was a massive accident on the freeway. Traffic was backed up for miles.”



Iruka stared at him for several seconds, completely ignoring the walk sign. Kakashi was his secret admirer? No way. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat before speaking. “You?”



Kakashi grinned, abet not as widely as Naruto was known to do. “Yeah. Can we go have that cup of tea now?”



“I need to get Naruto home.” Iruka explained.



The disappointed look that flashed across Kakashi’s face went straight to his heart. “But, I think I have some hot chocolate at the apartment if you don’t mind instant.”



The crinkling around the one visible eye returned. “I would be honored to escort you home.”



Iruka rolled his eyes. “Oh, and would you stop that shit. I started to feel like a fairy princess with all the sweets and flowers and chocolates. Next time you want to play secret admirer, how about a book of the month subscription or maybe tickets to a movie. I’m not some woman you have to woo.”



“Sorry. I just wanted it to be memorable.” Kakashi had the good grace to look embarrassed.



“Well it would have been nice to just be asked out on a date.”



“I would have but you were mad at me.”



“I’m still mad at you. You forced me to curse in front of my son. What am I going to do if he goes off into a fuck spree again while at day care? Can you imagine the nightmare that would be?” Iruka fumed as Kakashi burst into chuckles.



“I would pay to see a room full of small children chanting curse words at the top of their lungs.” Kakashi wiped at a tear that tracked down his face in his mirth.



“You would pay… for the funeral you would need after I killed you.” hissed Iruka.



Kakashi feigned hurt. “Aww, Iruka. You know I would never do anything to make you mad.”



“Somehow I doubt that.”



Kakashi held open the door for Iruka, pretending not to see the fuming face of his date. “It’s true. Hey, can I have marshmallows with my cocoa?”



“I don’t think you deserve marshmallows.” growled Iruka.



“Aww, Iruka…”



“Get in here and get your damn hot chocolate.”



Kakashi grinned as he stepped inside the apartment. He had a foot in the door. Now to cement the deal. Maybe if he played his cards right, he could feel Iruka up before being kicked out again. A perverted gleam filled his gaze as he shut the door carefully behind him. This was the beginning of a beautiful, sex filled relationship.



The End.