What Sasuke Wants

Taking a page from his student’s playbook—and unknowingly from Sasuke’s—Kakashi decided a day of stalking was in order. Every few days Sasuke took his two teammates out for a shopping trip. A good time to stalk.

Kakashi had never done this before, seen what Sasuke’s life was like, and quickly berated himself for that. Sasuke looked unperturbed when a chuinin blocked his path. In fact, he seemed used to this.

“Carrying a weapon so opening in the middle of the village?”

“It’s not like I’m the only one.” Sasuke seemed to vanish. He reappeared behind the chunin with his sword drawn. He opened the chunin’s weapons’ pouch and extricated a kunai all with his sword. He let the kunai drop and resheathed his sword and continued on. The chunin ran back into his path.

“You’re a traitor. You have no right to waltz through this village like a prince.”

“The Hokage pardoned us, that should be enough for you, don’t you think?”

“I don’t trust any Uchiha with those eyes.”

“My Sharingan isn’t activated.”

“How do we know you didn’t use those eyes of the Hokage?”

“You think the Hokage could fall prey to a genjutsu? Anyway, I was blindfolded and surrounded by ANBU.”

Why the hell was Sasuke saying anything to this man? Especially something like that? Kakashi wondered. Then again if Sasuke just walked off, that would just spur this into a physical confrontation no matter what. At least Sasuke was trying to be reasonable.

“I still don’t trust you, Uchiha.”

“You don’t have to. If you will excuse us?”

Sasuke walked around the chunin with Juugo and Karin flanking him. The chunhin struck out; not at Sasuke, but at Karin. Sasuke caught the man’s wrist before it could land on Karin’s face.

“You don’t really want to be doing that.” Sasuke let the man go and led the others a few yards away.

Humiliated, the chunin turned and threw half a dozen kunai at Sasuke’s back. Sasuke drew his sword and batted or blocked all six up into the air then impaling each through the finger hole on their way down and flung them back into the dirt at the man’s feet. Sasuke sheathed his sword with a flourish and walked away.

As he turned, Sasuke caught Juugo’s eye and said, “Settle down, Juugo,” and Juugo’s bubbling killing urge subdued. They walked away.

Most people probably saw Sasuke as having no emotion on his face at all, but Kakashi could see tightness at the corners of his eyes and the angry tension in his shoulders.

Karin was not at the top of her game, probably trusting Sasuke’s quickness and attention. Kakashi slipped into the same store and was sure that Karin would have acknowledged his presence, but she let herself be distracted as they shopped. Karin was not going out on many missions since she refused to go out with anyone but Sasuke, so she was pretty much dependant on Sasuke financially and he didn’t seem to mind, especially with his level of wealth.

It seemed like such a mundane task for elite shinobi, but they weren’t the only ones. There were four other Jounin, a hand full of chunin, and several non-shinobi shopping along side them. Sasuke and Juugo actually shopped for essentials while Karin stood by the perfume counter, testing every one the store had. She came over to Sasuke with an arm full of bottles, leaning into him in a girlish, but seductive, way.

A Jounin this time, stood by, looked Karin up and down and—in her and Sasuke’s hearing—whispered, “Slut.”

“You think it wise to insult one of my friends, within my hearing?” Sasuke asked without looking at the man.

The man walked away. With no one in earshot, Sasuke offered Karin the basket he was carrying so she could deposit her perfumes, then said, “You could cover up a bit more.”

“I’ve always dressed like this.”

“But you weren’t walking around in a village.”

“Why do you care, he insulted me?”

“Because I have to be seen with you. Just cover up a bit.” Karin was getting angrier. “You’re a beautiful woman; you don’t have to dress like that.” That appeased her.

Kakashi would have been jealous if it wasn’t for the lack of emotion in Sasuke’s voice.

When they were paying, the amount didn’t come to what Karin thought it would and she quickly did the math in her head. “That can’t be right.”

“Traitor tax, right?”* Sasuke said, once again emotionless and unconcerned. He didn’t argue, just gave up the money.

Kakashi hid as they walked out. Kakashi felt unbearably bad for him. He didn’t realize what Sasuke was going through every day he left his house. Kakashi continued following them.

Sasuke had stopped. The chunin had reinforcements. Sasuke hadn’t reacted, his arm still supporting a bag of produce, but his sword arm was free. At the sight of the first weapon, and not seeing Sasuke moving, Kakashi jumped in front of him with two kunai in hand.

“I’m sure the Hokage will be interested in why there’s a group of shinobi starting fights in the village streets.”

The chunin backed off.

Kakashi straightened and put his weapons away. “I’m sorry about that, Sasuke.”

“They aren’t your responsibility.”

“Still. Let me escort you home just in case they decide to try again.”

Sasuke just hummed a response, but Kakashi understood it as assent.

When they got to Sasuke’s door, Sasuke asked, “You want to join us for dinner?”

“Sure.”

Kakashi had never made an attempt at getting to know Karin or Juugo, but he was pleasantly surprised at how good natured they really were. Suigetsu had brought out the worst in Karin; with him gone, she was quite personable. And once Juugo got talking, he was pleasant company. Sasuke and Kakashi just had coffee while Karin and Juugo had deserts. Kakashi was surprised to have actually enjoyed himself. Juugo and Karin left when they were finished.

“You want more coffee? Or something stronger?”

“Sure. I could go for some sake.”

Sasuke brought out a bottle of sake, but only one cup. He had another coffee.

“You’re not much of a drinker; why do you keep it on hand?”

“You never know. Like now.”

Kakashi sat back contentedly. “You are an excellent cook, Sasuke,” Kakashi said.

Sasuke was completely stoic again. He’d almost smiled during dinner, but it seemed his walls were back. Was he shutting Kakashi out because of their in-limbo-relationship? Or was the good humor the mask? Sasuke was slouching in his chair with his shoulders hunched, almost protectively.

“I was following you today,” Kakashi admitted.

“I figured that when you showed up.”

“Sorry.”

“Doesn’t bother me.”

“But all that did bother you, didn’t it?” Sasuke didn’t move. Kakashi began to realize why he didn’t attack anyone, why he tried to reason with the chunin: he wanted to eventually be accepted here. Sasuke was trying, but the village couldn’t forgive him. Not yet at least.

Kakashi got up and grabbed the tops of Sasuke’s shoulders reassuringly from behind. “I’m sorry, Sasuke, I didn’t know about that. I’m sure the others don’t either.”

“Doesn’t matter. I know it will take time. I’m used to not being social. I never was when I lived here before.”

“But people never treated you like that then.”

“No. They all looked at me with pity. Some feared me. They all just avoided me, except for the girls my age who didn’t know any better. They didn’t understand what an Uchiha was and I was surprised that many, including Sakura, didn’t know I was an orphan. As isolated as I made myself, I was lonely. I never had friends until I was assigned to your team.”

Ah, fuck it, Kakashi thought. He crouched in front of Sasuke and pulled him to him. Sasuke’s face rubbed into his chest and he sobbed.

Kakashi’s heart bled for him. This was it; he loved Sasuke. He pulled Sasuke up and went to the couch, a much comfortable place for both of them.

When Sasuke calmed down, Kakashi said, “I’m sorry, Sasuke.”

“For what?” he asked, his voice muffled with half his face pressed into the Jouinin’s chest.

“I was one of those who pitied you and avoided you. I knew your brother. Not well, but I knew him. I knew another Uchiha as well. I shouldn’t have avoided you.”

“Was the other Uchiha the one you got your Sharingan from?”

“Yeah. He was my teammate. Obito.”

“I know you probably don’t want to, but I’d like to hear the story.”

“I’ve never told anyone about it, except Sensei; he did the report to the Hokage. Did you know about my father?”

“I heard something, but I was very young at the time.”

“The story of how I got this eye really starts with my father . . .”

Sasuke didn’t move much for two hours while Kakashi detailed his father’s abandoned mission, his suicide, his relationship with Obito and Rin—which was a strange mirror image of Team 7—and their last mission together.

“Rin died two years later during a mission. I failed Obito again: I wasn’t able to keep her safe.”

“Hmmm,” was Sasuke’s only reaction for a nearly two minutes. “I don’t think you failed anyone. I’m glad you don’t resent your father anymore. But I have to admit, I became like you were after our failed attempt to capture the Hachibi. You saw how I was willing to kill Karin. But you broke me out of that. Maybe it’s Obito, still helping.”

“I like that thought.”

Sasuke was silent for a long time; so long Kakashi thought he fell asleep.

“When you asked me to give up on revenge and I laughed and demanded my clan back and my brother, you didn’t look shocked. You knew then. When did you know?”

“I swear to you, Sasuke, on the souls of my parents, my sensei, Rin, and Obitio, I didn’t know until that day you killed Danzo.”

“How then?”

“Madara told us. I think he just wanted to rub our noses in the fact he had you and what you were becoming. I think he also wanted to shake our faith in the village. I’m haunted by the thought of what Minato-sensei would have done in the Third’s place. I’d like to think he could have come to an accord with your clan. But if he’d survived . . . he fought Madara, but he didn’t know who he was. If sensei had won that battle, your family would still be alive.”

“I’m not so sure,” Sasuke said distantly.

“What do you mean?”

“The accusation about the Kyuubi was the reason they started planning the coup, but the hatred was already there. We were doomed. I just wish Itachi had not left, not made me hate him. I loved him so much.”

He was crying again. The day and the depressing conversation had just stripped him of every emotional barrier he had left. He’d only been able to cry once since he learned the truth and he had kept everyone around him at arm’s length; it felt so good to confide in Kakashi and cry on his shoulder—chest really.

Sasuke fell asleep lying on Kakashi’s chest, Kakashi stroking his hair affectionately.

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*Yeah, ever been to an Asian market? When you’re white? It’s called Caucasian Tax. I’ve gotten it when I don’t go with my Asian friends or family. I fork it over. I’m not about to argue about money with a little old Korean woman. An extra 80 cents for Pocky and Nori is not a big deal; it’s still cheaper than in a supermarket.